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Dark Seed	By : EvilFuzzy Category: +G to L > Gintama Views: 3870 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: The author makes no claim to ownership of the Gintama franchise, and furthermore makes no money from writing or publishing this piece. This is a non-profit fan work.

Chapter List
- 1-Dark Seed
- 2-Gin-chan's Complaints
- 1
- 2
Dark Seed
A Gintama pachipornpalooza
By
EvilFuzzy9

WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.
(sex god shinpachi...? no, not quite XD)

"Kagura-chan... you are such a naughty little girl..." Shinpachi moaned, sitting in Gintoki's seat in the Yorozuya office. His eyes were shut tight, his back reclined and his hips occasionally bucking. "Ah... Oh... so good... you're so good with that tongue of yours..."
"Mmm, Shin-chan..." Kagura mumbled, rolling her soft, silky inside of her cheek against the young samurai's lower head. "You taste way better than sukonbu... and I love your nut rice... mmmmm..."
She moaned, lewdly slurping on her Odd Jobs sempai's erect dick, just in case anybody had their doubts as to what the pair were doing.
"Mmm, and you taste like the exact opposite of Ane-ue's cooking..." Shinpachi said, smiling down at the vermillion-haired fourteen year old and patting her on the head. She squeaked a cute protest at this treatment, making him laugh. "Ah, you're so adorable like that, though... Kagura-chan, you really are such a cute little thing..."
He leered at her body, which was naked except for a dog collar around her neck, with a tag that said I'm Shin-chan's Bitch. He ogled her round, creamy, peach-shaped ass with the appreciation of a true conoisseur as she wagged it side to side under Gin-san's desk.
Kagura moaned cutely, her cheeks reddening. She flicked that pretty little tongue over Shinpachi's slicked and flushed foreskin, shivering obscenely as she tasted his sticky, transparent precum.
Now, you might be wondering what on earth these two were doing like that, let alone in Gin-san's office. Well, it would be a long story, but basically...
...Kagura was Shinpachi's bitch, aru.
OW
Imean.
Um.
Is there a nicer way to put it?
Oh, well.
Yeah, she was basically his bitch. Of her own volition, of course. The dog collar was her idea. So was the nudity. And the fellatio in Gin-chan's chair. Really, now that I think about it basically this whole entire thing was Kagura's idea.
So, I suppose from a certain point of view, you could actually say that SHINPACHI was the bitch in this scenario. Since he was doing whatever Kagura wanted him to.
Although, then again, what Kagura wanted him to do was dominate and debase her...
So.
I guess it was kinda complicated. They were each other's bitches, I suppose you could say.
But, wait? You want to know what SHINPACHI AND KAGURA, of all people, are doing together? Since apparently almost nobody likes ShinKagu. Or Shinpachi.
Well.
That's actually not a very long story at all. There really wasn't much more to it than the two of them sneaking some of Gin-san's sake one New Years Eve, and waking up on New Years Day butt naked and handcuffed together under that statue of Ieyasu in the park.
After evading the coppers and getting the charges for public indecency dropped on a technicality, the two had then decided to see if they had really had sex.
...by having sex and seeing if that jogged any memories.
It didn't, but the two of them really fucking enjoyed, well, FUCKING. And so they began doing it like rabbits whenever they could get more than ten seconds alone together (which about how long Shinpachi was able to last, initially) until they had simply become addicted to sex and Kagura began getting jaded to Shinpachi's remarkably bland preference of 100% missionary position every single time.
So they started mixing things up.
And before they knew it, Kagura found that she was a natural M, and Shinpachi got a chance to show off his own S side. They had even talked about bringing more people in on it.
Or, well, Kagura had suggested it, and Shinpachi had repeatedly vetoed her suggestions. He didn't feel comfortable with her ideas of letting anyone who wanted just suck him off – and Kagura was sure that many people would want to, once word of the flavor got out.
And actually, that was maybe a big part of the reason Kagura had become so addicted to sex with Shinpachi, particularly wherever it ended with a money shot.
A man's diet affected the taste of his sperm, or so they said. Certain diets could theoretically produce semen that was more palatable to the average tongue than others. Though usually it was just a variance in bitterness and saltiness. The average Joe wouldn't exactly be particularly tasty to the average Jane (or John). Despite what porn may have some people think, women didn't automatically like the flavor of semen. Generally speaking, in fact, one might even say that it was almost strictly an acquired taste.
Generally speaking.
But Shinpachi...
...well, if a person's diet affected the flavor of their ejaculate, then Otae's dark matter was apparently the single most delicious thing in the world once it had been absorbed into the testes. Much to Kagura's delight, and Shinpachi's chagrin.
Kagura moaned as Shinpachi shot a load of his spooge into her mouth. She rolled the sticky, black ejaculate all over her tongue, tasting it gleefully and adoringly.
"Oh, YES!" she moaned at the top of her lungs, not caring one damn bit who heard her. "SO DELICIOUS! A MILLION TIMES BETTER THAN EGG OVER RICE, ARU! OHHHHH!"
The black, toxic-looking semen dribbled down from her lips, overflowing from her mouth. Kagura's tongue, stained dark blue by Shin-chan's sperm, flitted out and eagerly lapped the leakage back up.
She smiled up at an exhausted-looking Shinpachi.
"Only six times and you're almost soft?" she said, eyeing his partially flaccid member. "You still need more training, aru."
She wrapped her fingers around Shinpachi's rod, squeezing. All the blood drained from the young samurai's face, and he let out an agonized wail. The front door slammed open, and a rain of nasty-looking but according to Kagura sublimely delicious-tasting black semen flew up high in the air.
A good quantity of it even landed in Gin-san's hair.
"Eh?" said the Yorozuya boss, staring uncomprehendingly at the scene before him. "Eh? What's this? Why is Shinpachi in my seat? What's all that black stuff? Why does it smell like..."
His eyes widened, his nose recognizing the scent of sex.
"EHHHHH?!" Gintoki recoiled in shock and disbelief, staring at Shinpachi who now that he took a closer look seemed a little too contentedly tired for it to be innocuous. Then he heard a squeaked yelp, then the thud and CRASH of a certain familiar ornamented red head smashing up through the top of his desk.
"Whoops," said Kagura, a good deal of that eerily glowing black stuff visible on her lips. "Looks like the jig is up, aru."
She did not look at all dismayed to be caught. She smiled at him cheerily.
"Hi, Gin-chan! Now that you've caught us in the act, why don't you come over here and have a taste, aru?" she suggested happily. She smashed her upper body the rest of the way through the desk, and Gin-san promptly averted his eyes.
"Kagura-channnn!" Shinpachi squealed, looking absolutely mortified.
"Ahhh?!" Gintoki exclaimed at the same time, covering his eyes protectively. "A taste of what? I don't know what you think I look like, but I sure as hell don't have a lolita complex!"
Kagura snorted. "Ehhhh?" she said, sounding almost confrontational. "Not of me, Gin-chan! Of Shinpachi!"
"THAT'S SOMETHING I'M EVEN LESS INTERESTED INNNNN!" shouted Gintoki, looking extremely uncomfortable.
"SAME HEEEERE!" wailed Shinpachi, blanching.
Kagura turned to face Shinpachi, leveling a half-lidded glower at him.
"Aru?" she said. "What, do you think you're too GOOD for Gin-chan? I'm good enough for you to use and abuse like this, but he isn't?"
"A-a-all of that was your idea in the first plaaace!" Shinpachi yelped.
Kagura scoffed.
"And you went along with it, aru!" she said. "So what's different about it now?" She crossed her arms under her chest.
And Gin-san, peeking out between two fingers, gaped at what he saw.
"EHHHHH?! WHAT THE HELL?! WHERE ON EARTH WERE YOU HIDING THOSE BUNKER BUSTERS?!" he exclaimed, eyes widening as he pointed and stared at the unbelievably generous mounds of supple, jiggling flesh which dangled from her sternum. "DO YOU HAVE HAMMER SPACE?! IS THAT IT?! WERE YOU HIDING YOUR BOOBS IN HAMMER SPACE ALL THESE YEARS?!"
"No, aru!" chirped Kagura, spinning around in the hole in the surface of Gintoki's desk, destroying it even further. Those melons bobbed and bounced wildly with the angular momentum, inertia causing them to lag a few seconds behind the rest of her. "I've just been strapping them down recently, aru! I got them from Shin-chan!"
"EHHHH?!" hollered Gintoki. "PATSUAN GAVE YOU THOSE MELONS?! WHAT IS HE? SOME KIND OF PLASTIC SURGEON?! OR IS DID HE FONDLE YOU A BUNCH AND CAUSE YOUR MOSQUITO BITES TO EXPLODE INTO FUN BAGS?! WAIT, THAT ACTUALLY WOOOOORKS?!"
"Nope!" chirped Kagura. "It's Shin-chan's cum, aru! I rubbed it into my chest, and now I've got these!" She grabbed her melons, hefting them up and mashing them together.
Blood exploded from Gin's nose. "T-T-T-THIGMOMORPHOGENESIS!" he gasped, falling down on his back. His nostrils continue to explosively hemorrhage for several more seconds.
Kagura giggled, pointing a finger at the silver haired NEET samurai and laughing uproariously. "Hahaha! Look at Gin-chan! My boobs startled him so much that his hair went from silver and wavy to black and straight!"
Shinpachi blinked.
"Um..." he said hesitantly, spotting a faint wriggling amidst the Yorozuya boss's hair. "I think that's something else..."
Kagura blinked.
"Oh, wow," she said. "Shin-chan's cum can do everything!"
The young samurai sighed a little.
"Everything except change things back to normal..." he muttered. Then he glanced under the desk at Kagura's legs. "Ah, Kagura-chan," he said. "It's crawling up your thighs again."
"Your cum is so convenient, aru~" chirped the young Yato cheerfully, scooping up the pulsing, glowing mass of thick, writhing neo dark matter. "Comes right up for me to eat~!"
Shinpachi sweatdropped. "Ah..." he murmured. "Somehow, I think it was aiming a little lower... We really should wear protection, Kagura-chan..."
The Yato stuck her tongue out at the human.
"Bleh," she said. "I don't need protection! As if a human could ever get a Yato pregnant, aru. We're completely different animals!"
Shinpachi grimaced.
"You wouldn't know just by looking, though..." he commented.
Kagura laughed.

A/N: What the fuck did I think I was doing with this? Yeah, I dunno. It is freaking weird as hell and grotesquely perverse.
...so, a lot like the series itself, actually.
This started out as just an exercise in simple ShinKagu smut, but then it evolved into something REALLY weird. But the idea of Otae's dark matter giving Shinpachi freaky mutant (but apparently delicious) sperm just tickled the filthiest and most perverted parts of my funny bone. XD
On an unrelated note, been playing Halo PC intermittently since getting back into Red vs Blue got me into wanting to play the games for real. And while the game is certainly very fun, UGH THE IMPOSSIBLE TO NAVIGATE ARCHITECTURE. ESPECIALLY THAT MOTHERFUCKING LIBRARY AUGGHHH!
Updated: 2-4-14
TTFN and R&R!
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Dark Seed