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Forbidden Love	By : CaptainParisStarr Category: Pokemon > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 4276 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Pokemon franchise, any characters mentioned in this story, or make money, profit, or earn a living off the story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
As Ash ate his dinner that night his mind kept replaying two scenes; Nurse Joy telling him that Clay was ready for his gym battle, and Chili's face as he left to head back to the Striaton City gym. He wondered why Chili had begun loosing gym battles in the first place, and suspected that there was more to it than an inflexible battling style. The way that Chili had been gazing at him when Cilan wasn't looking made Ash wonder if Chili was actually gay- and trying to hide it from his brothers.
He knew from personal experience that trying to hide something like that was harder than it seemed; though he had never actually come out and told Iris and Cilan that he was gay, Ash had stopped actively trying to hide it. If they asked him about it, then he would admit that he preferred men to women, but if they didn't then he wouldn't worry about it. Now, he just wished that he'd had a moment alone with Chili so he could have asked him if he was as well.
Hearing the door open, Ash glanced over to see who had entered the Pokemon Center's cafeteria, and was surprised to see that it was Chili. His surprise must have shown on his face for Cilan turned and looked over his shoulder, also spotting his brother.
“I thought you were on your way back to Striaton City?” He asked, clearly confused.
Sitting down at their booth, next to Ash since Iris had taken the spot next to Cilan, Chili quickly explained. “I was passing the bus depot when I noticed that there's a semi-express shuttle to Striaton leaving tomorrow at noon. So I decided to buy myself a ticket and spend tonight at the Pokemon Center.” He laid the bus ticket on the table as though to prove that he was not trying to avoid returning to the gym, and Cress.
While speaking, his left hand had been ghosting over the outside of Ash's leg. Ash longed to slide closer and see where the touching would go, but didn't know how to do so discretely. He had no desire to openly cuddle with Chili in front of Cilan, and if he was reading too much into the touching...
“I figured that taking a bus, even one that's making stops at Nimbasa, Castelia, and Nacrene Cities, before turning around in Striaton, would be better, and faster, than walking.” And this way I could have some pleasant company tonight? He seemed to be silently asking Ash. Suddenly he pulled his hand away, leaving Ash to wonder if he'd been reading too much into the touch, after all.
“Chili... Is there something your not telling me about why you left the Gym?” Cilan asked, frowning, noticing something odd in his brother's demeanor, but unable to put his finger on what it was.
“No, why would you think that I'm hiding something?” Chili replied quickly, just barely keeping his temper in check. Then he changed the subject without giving Cilan a chance to reply to the clearly rhetorical question. “I'm going to get a room for the night.” Without another word, he stood and hurried over to the counter to check in with Nurse Joy.
Ash rose a few moments later. “I'm going to go take a walk.” He scooped up Pikachu and left the center before his friends had a chance to stop him. Chili's attention had left him feeling somewhat aroused and he needed to cool off before he made a fool of himself. Try as he might, he could think of no reason for Chili to touch his leg like that other than to flirt.
As he walked, his mind drifted back to the day he'd first met Cilan and had challenged the Striaton City Gym. He'd challenged all three brothers, instead of choosing only one to battle, but not for the reasons he'd given at the time. Truthfully, he'd found himself looking at the trainers rather than the Pokemon, and he'd been about to choose the hottest brother to battle; Chili. But he'd known that choosing based on the looks of the trainer would not have been fair for the Pokemon, and he had not been sure that he could win against Chili anyway. And he had almost been too distracted to win, but had somehow managed to anyway.
Ultimately he'd decided that it would have been too obvious that he'd chosen to battle Chili because he liked the way Chili looked a little too much, so he'd challenged all three. Of course, at that time he'd never suspected that Cilan would end up leaving the gym to travel with him, and was just glad that Cilan had never asked him again why he'd choose to challenge all three brothers.
He started wandering down towards the river front, but only made it to the end of the second block when he heard someone call out his name. Turning back the way he'd come, he was surprised to see Chili hurrying to catch up with him.
“Chili, what are you doing here?” Ash asked, confused.
“I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable.” Chili did not look at Ash as he spoke, a soft blush creeping up his cheeks.
“You didn't.” Moving closer, Ash tried to get Chili to look at him, but the older teen refused to comply.
“There's no need to lie, Ash. I could feel how tense you were getting as I touched your leg.” Chili spoke softly, embarrassment and certainty that his advances were being rejected coloring his voice.
“Yes, I was tensing, but not because I didn't like it.” Now Chili did look at Ash. Taking a deep breath, Ash finished. “I was trying not to get hard.”
“Is there anything going on between you and Cilan?” Chili quickly asked, praying that Ash would say no, but scared that there was.
“Me and Cilan? No, were just friends. Why would you think that there was?” Ash was confused once more, though there was a hint of something else in his voice as well. Something that Chili could not identify.
“When I first saw Cilan this morning, it had looked like you two were gazing at each other passionately. But then you acted like nothing of that nature existed between you for the rest of the day.”
Realizing what Chili was referring to, Ash laughed. “Oh yeah, that. Cilan looks at me and invades my personal space all the time, but he doesn't mean anything by it. It's never to flirt, nor have I seen him flirt with a guy, only with girls. You don't have to worry that he'll be jealous or anything if we...” Ash broke off blushing.
Chili swallowed hard as he wondered what Ash had been about to say. He thought he knew, but wanted to be sure. But when he spoke, he surprised himself by asking about something else entirely.
“Are you really sixteen?”
“Yeah, I'm really sixteen. Why?” Ash cocked his head to the side and smiled seductively up at Chili as he spoke. Knowing that he was small for his age, he tried to use body language to convey the fact that he was more mature than he looked.
“You look like your about twelve...” Chili blushed hard as his mind supplied an image of Ash lying on his bed back at the Striaton gym wearing nothing but his hat and jacket, surrounded by his crimson bed-sheets. Hot on the heels of that image was a deep curiosity to find out how well endowed Ash was.
Pushing the image away, Chili swallowed down his arousal, hoping that Ash would not notice his sudden hard-on. “Would you like to go get some ice cream with me?” Chili asked a few moments later, desperate to break the awkward silence that had fallen.
“Are you asking me out on a date?” Ash asked, smiling slightly.
“Only if you want me to be asking you out.” Chili replied carefully.
“I do want to go on a date with you.” Ash replied enthusiastically, every trace of his former shyness now gone. “So where do you want to go for ice cream?”
“Follow me, I have a place in mind.” Emboldened by Ash's enthusiasm, he took the younger teens hand as he headed down a side street towards a small kiosk he had spotted when he'd first entered the city that morning.
“What kind of ice cream would you like?” Chili asked casually as they walked.
Threading his fingers through Chili's, Ash thought about it. “Something chocolaty. Mint chocolate chip if they have any.” He eventually replied just as they were approaching the vendor.
Nodding, Chili ordered mint chocolate chip for Ash (which they did have) and strawberry swirl for himself.
After paying for the cones, he handed Ash his, then took the younger teen's hand again as he headed down towards the water line. As they neared the river, Chili released Pansear from his Pokeball so he could play with Pikachu, leaving the two teens alone together.
Then they found an unoccupied bench overlooking the river, and sat down to enjoy their ice cream.
“Have you told either Cilan or Cress that you prefer boys?” Ash asked nonchalantly between bites.
“No, and I don't know how to. Or rather, I don't know how they will take the news that I'm gay. Have you told Cilan that your gay yet?” Chili licked his cone idly as he spoke, but barely tasted the ice cream, and his hand tightened around Ash's.
“Not directly, but I have not been actively hiding it either.” Ash shifted closer to the red haired teen. “If he's picked up on my hints then he's cool with it.”
Chili nodded. “I'm not too worried about Cilan's reaction- he's the most level headed of us, the most likely to try and talk something out when he does not understand it, and the most open minded. What he said earlier today about taking into account the trainers personality and whatnot when judging compatibility proves that he's open minded. But Cress...” Chili broke off, shuddering.
“Cress seems pretty easy going to me.” Ash commented, frowning.
“You've never seen him angry, or upset. I tend to lose my temper, and say things that I later regret, and Cilan talks thing out calmly, but Cress... Cress freezes up, emotionally, and tends to favor the silent treatment.” Taking a deep breath, Chili continued. “When we were little, and Cress and I got into a fight, Cilan always ended up mediating it. Left to our own devices we just butted heads and made things worse. With Cilan gone from the gym... If Cress freaks on me when I tell him, I don't know what will happen.”
Ash was silent, uncertain what to say. Suddenly he realized something. “Just because Cilan's not at the gym does not mean that you can't still ask him for advice. Come out to him first, and if coming out to Cress does end badly, you can always call Cilan up and get him to mediate over the phone, or whatever.”
Hugging Ash, Chili smiled. “Your right. Though that plan only works if Cilan's at a Pokemon Center at the time. But, since he is still a gym leader, it shouldn't be hard to track him down.”
Ash blushed, and returned the hug, enjoying the feel of a male body pressed against his own. Shifting so that he was sitting on Chili's lap rather than beside him, Ash took a long lick of Chili's cone, a question in his eyes.
Swallowing hard, Chili felt his cock jump back to full attention. He answered Ash's unspoken question by licking Ash's cone, and then they were suddenly kissing. All thoughts of his brothers fled his mind as Chili gently massaged Ash's tongue with his own before breaking the kiss. “We should stop before this goes any further.”
Reluctantly, Ash pulled away, remembering that they were in public. “Do you care what people will think?”
“Not especially, its just that Cilan knows that I like eating ice cream when I'm happy, and I don't want him to find out about me by catching us kissing. I also don't want to give you the wrong impression.” Chili quickly licked at his rapidly melting cone, and Ash cursed softly as his dripped over his gloved hand.
“The wrong impression? You mean that you don't want to have sex tonight?” Ash asked, his voice neutral, as he licked the melted ice cream off his hand.
“I'm not looking for anything serious. If we can keep it causal, and your willing, then yes I would like to sleep with you tonight, and see where this will go, but if you want more than that, then I think it would be better to end this now.”
Relieved, Ash nodded. “I don't want anything serious either. I'm cool with this lasting only one night.” Abandoning his attempts to finish his cone, Ash tossed it into the trash, and was amused to see Chili do the same, though he'd barely consumed any of his. “You didn't really want the ice cream did you?”
“No. I just wanted to spend time with you and it was a handy excuse.” Calling Pikachu and Pansear over, they turned and started walking back towards the Pokemon Center, still holding hands.
“Why aren't you looking for anything serious right now?” Ash asked, more out of curiosity than because it bothered him that Chili wasn't taking their date seriously.
“Because there's a boy back in Striaton that I like, though I don't think he likes me the same way. I'm still working up the courage to tell him how I feel though.” Chili hoped that Ash would not ask him who it was.
“Is this boy someone who frequents the gym, or works there?” Chili nodded. “Well, that explains why you were getting so stressed out over hiding your sexuality from Cress.” Dropping the subject, Ash released Chili's hand just as the Pokemon Center came into sight.
Relieved that Ash was not going to pursue the topic further, Chili leaned down and whispered his room number into Ash's ear. Since he had managed to secure himself a single, he didn't have to worry about being interrupted so long as they tried to keep things quiet.
“What are you two whispering about?” They broke apart at the sound of Cilan's voice, wondering what to say.
“Play along.” Chili breathed the words into Ash's ear, then turned to grin at his brother. “I was trying to tell Ash some embarrassing stories of you as a child.”
“Oh, like what?” Cilan glanced suspiciously at Ash, who only shrugged.
“I dunno, you interrupted before Chili could do more than say that you were five when you did whatever it was that he was going to tell me about.”
Frowning slightly, Cilan had the oddest feeling that something else entirely had been happening, that they were lying about what Chili had been whispering into Ash's ear. But he shrugged and pretended to believe them, knowing that he would have a better chance of finding out what was really going on by playing along.
Chili glanced up at the sky, noting that it was now fully dark. “I'm going to go have a shower then turn in. I've got a long bus ride to look forward to.” Somehow managing to resist the urge to invite Ash to join him, he turned and headed inside the Pokemon Center without waiting for a reply.
“So now are you going to tell me whats really going on here?” Cilan asked Ash once the doors had closed behind Chili.
“I-I don't know what your talking about.” Ash stammered, fighting not to blush.
“Pika-Pi Pik-” Ash hastily put his hand over Pikachu's mouth realizing that his friend was about to say that Ash had been kissing Chili.
“Nothing's going on that you need to worry about.” Ash added hastily, knowing that Chili wanted to wait until morning to tell Cilan that he was gay so that he wouldn't try to stop Ash from having sex with him.
“So something is going on.” Cilan stepped closer to Ash, who hastily took a step backwards, his blush deepening slightly.
“I never said that!” Ash retorted to quickly.
“Your lying, something is going on that you don't want me to know about.” Cilan sighed. “Cress said that Chili was increasingly sneaking about at odd hours before he ran off, and that he was lying about where he had gone, and why. If Chili's in some sort of trouble...?” Cilan broke off, concern for his brother written plainly across his face.
“Chili's not in trouble, its nothing like that.” Ash moved closer so he could put a hand on Cilan's arm, ignoring the odd way it made his heart race to be that close to Cilan. “There is something going on that you need to know about, but it's not something that you should hear from me. Ask Chili again in the morning.” When Cilan didn't look convinced, Ash decided to try another approach.
“Cilan, trust me; Chili's not in trouble, and you know that I would tell you if he was. He does want to tell you what's going on with him, but he's not sure how. So be patient with him, and talk to him in the morning, okay?” Ash looked straight into Cilan's eyes as he spoke.
After a moment of silence, Cilan slowly nodded. “I still don't understand why he would talk to you about this- whatever it is- before talking to me. But I do trust your judgment, Ash.” Pulling away, Cilan glanced towards the doors Chili had gone through, then he turned to walk towards the Pokemart.
“He talked to me about this because he knew that I would understand, because I'm like him in this regard, and your not.” Ash called after Cilan, deciding that it was safe enough to answer that one question. Then he turned and entered the Pokemon Center before Cilan could ask him how Ash was more like Chili than he was.
Uncertain where he was going, Ash was surprised to see that his feet had taken him to Chili's room rather than the room he was to share with Iris and Cilan. Knocking softly, Ash waited almost a full minute before realizing that Chili was likely still in the shower. Since the Pokemon Centers had communal bathrooms - and showers - Ash knew that it would be potentially embarrassing for him to join Chili.
He decided to try the door, and found it unlocked. The room, located at the end of the hall under the eaves, was small, only just large enough for the single bed and dresser. The shirt, vest and tie that Chili had worn earlier were sprawled across the bed, and Chili's shoes and sock's were tucked half under the bed. Ash left the room and headed across the hall to the bathroom, noting that it was empty other than a single occupied shower stall. Crossing the room to the urinals, Ash quickly relieved his bladder, then he washed his hands and left again.
Back in Chili's room, he quickly stripped off all his clothes, making a messy pile at the foot of the bed, and pulled on Chili's button up shirt. As he buttoned up the shirt he noted that it was large enough on him to cover his ass and genitals while still making it clear that he was otherwise naked. Then he lay down on the bed to wait for Chili to finish his shower.
Ash had only just laid himself down on the bed when the door opened. Glancing over, the sixteen year old's breath caught in his throat as he took in the sight of a still dripping wet Chili, who was in turn staring open mouthed at him.
Shaking off his surprise, Chili closed the door firmly behind him, his pants tenting visibly as he crossed the room. “Well, this is unexpected. Are you... wearing anything other than my shirt?” Chili asked, his voice breathy with arousal, and his eyes widened further as Ash shook his head. Seating himself beside the younger teen on the bed, Chili slid his hand up underneath the hem to cup Ash's bare ass.
Ash shifted so that he could sit beside the red-haired teen, the shirt shifting to give Chili tantalizing glimpses of Ash's manhood as he moved. Once he was seated upright, Ash reached over and unzipped Chili's pants, revealing that he was not wearing any underwear.
Blushing, Chili found himself fighting the urge to cover himself as Ash tugged his cock out and wrapped his hand around it, stroking gently. “Do you want a blow job?” Ash asked as he lightly teased the tip, impressed by the older teen's unexpected size.
Unable to do anything other than nod, Chili swallowed hard as he watched Ash swallow his entire length down in one smooth motion. “Y-you've done this before?”
Ash nodded minutely, as he swallowed rhythmically around Chili's length to massage it as he pulled his head back until just the tip was inside his mouth. Swirling his skilled tongue around the tip Ash couldn't help but moan softly at the surprisingly pleasant salty-sweet flavor of Chili's precum. Then he began bobbing his head halfway up and down the shaft applying moderate suction.
Letting his head fall back, Chili feathered one hand through Ash's soft hair, amazed at how good Ash was at sucking cock. Suddenly Ash deep-throated him again,and Chili found himself unable to hold back, and he released his seed in one long hot burst straight down Ash's throat.
As he swallowed down the entire load, Ash pulled his head back so that the last drops fell onto his tongue and, savoring the taste, he softly licked Chili clean before pulling away entirely. “How was that?” He asked almost shyly as he realized that the older teen was staring at him.
“Th-that was amazing...” Chili swallowed hard, trying to remember how to breath. “More than amazing, that was the best I've ever gotten.”
Blushing softly at the praise, Ash shifted so that the shirt deliberately rode up exposing himself to Chili's curious eyes. “Good enough that your done for the night?” Ash asked hoping to be able to feel Chili's length inside a different opening of his body.
“No way! If your that good with your mouth then I can't wait to see how good you are in other area's.” Chili's fingers ghosted over Ash's exposed erection, toying with the tip before gliding down the length. While smaller than he was, Ash was still larger than Chili had dared to expect considering how small his body was. It was as though nature was trying to make up for Ash's small stature by gifting him in other area's.
Rolling over onto his stomach, Ash slid a pillow under his hips, and spread his legs, silently begging Chili to finger-fuck him.
Chili shakily stood and walked over to his bag, retrieving the bottle of lube he used while masturbating. Squirting a liberal amount over his fingers, he obliged the younger teen by immediately rubbing his anus before sliding his middle finger inside as deep as it would go. “How does that feel?”
“Good. God, I've wanted to do this ever since I first laid eyes on you!” Ash confessed as Chili added a second finger, surprised to note that Ash still showed no signs of pain. Quickly adding a third finger, Chili thrust the fingers deeply inside Ash, thrusting a few times, then he pulled them out again. Rubbing the remaining lube over his cock, he lay down on his back beside Ash.
“I want you to ride me.” He whispered, and Ash nodded immediately, pushing himself upright and straddling the red-heads hips. Reaching up, Chili unbuttoned the shirt so that Ash's torso was framed by the fabric rather than covered up, as his cock slipped easily inside the younger male. Ash gently lowered himself so that the entire length was inside him.
Breathing through his mouth he willed away the initial pain, and began gently rotating his hips and, once the pain had passed, rhythmically clenching and relaxing his muscles. As he relaxed his anal muscles, he pushed his body upward, then clenched as he slid down again, pushing his hips forward at the top,so that Chili's tip brushed against his prostate, and pulling them back again at the bottom. Chili thrust himself upward, matching Ash's rhythm, and the two teens moved as one in the most intimate of dances.
Sometime later, as he began to lose his rhythm, Chili's hand found his length, and began jacking him off roughly. His head was thrown back and his eyes closed; it was clear that Chili was imagining that Ash was the boy back in Striaton that he liked. Ash didn't notice, or care, as he felt his orgasm begin to build at that moment, and he clenched his muscles tightly around Chili as he came, his hot ropy semen painting Chili's stomach and chest.
“Uh... So hot, feels so good...” Chili panted as he managed a few final thrusts before spilling his own seed once more. “Uh... I'm gonna... CRESS!” He screamed the name as he came, unaware that Ash caught whose name he was calling out.
Panting, Chili lay back, barely noticing as Ash shifted off of him, intent on getting dressed. He had been called by another name during sex before, but never before by his lover's brother's name. His mind was reeling, replaying the scream over and over again. Part of him was convinced that he must have heard Chili wrong, that there was no way that he had been called Cress, but the name had been clear.
Just as Ash was reaching for his boxers, the door burst open and Cilan took a single step into the room. “Chili w- Uh...” His face turned bright red as he took in scene. “S-sorry...” Backing out again Cilan closed the door behind him before either Ash or Chili could react to his sudden intrusion.
Ash removed the sweat stained shirt as soon as the door was closed once more and, shrugging, used the hem to clean himself up, then he quickly got dressed.
“What are you doing?” Chili asked, recovered enough to notice that Ash was getting dressed.
“You called me 'Cress.'” Ash's voice was flat as he spoke. His face was slightly flushed as tinged slightly pink as embarrassment at being caught by Cilan flooded through him, but that didn't seem important to him at that moment. Nothing seemed important but the fact that Chili had called him Cress.
“What? T-there must be... I couldn't have... I did! Shit!” Chili dipped his head as shame colored his cheeks red. Rolling over, Chili buried his face in the remaining pillow.
“Why would you call me by your brother's name while cumming?” Ash asked, curiosity getting the better of him. He sat down on the edge of the bed to pull his socks on. He left his gloves, jacket, and hat off, since he was planning on going straight to bed once he got back to the one he had claimed for himself.
Chili murmured something into his pillow that Ash could not catch. Reaching over, Ash ran his hand down Chili's bare back, feeling the small shiver the action evoked.
Relaxing slightly, Chili pulled his face away from the pillow, to repeat what he had murmured. “Because Cress is the boy I'm in- that I like.” Chili turned away so he would not have to see Ash's eyes as the youth processed what he had said.
“Well, that explains why your so scared to come out to him. You need to tell Ci-”
“NO!” The word was half choked out and half screamed. “No! Cilan cannot know about this!”
“He needs to know! If you don't tell him now, and he finds out about this from Cress...” Ash shook his head, knowing now why Chili didn't want to tell anyone that he was gay.
“I...” Trailing off, Chili sat up, and, wincing at the sight of his ruined shirt, also used the hem to clean himself up before tucking himself back into his pants and zipping them up again. “There must be something wrong with me. Otherwise, why would I want to fuck my own brother?” His voice caught slightly as he finally confessed the feelings he had kept hidden deep inside his heart, and something inside his chest tightened. “How can I be in love with Cress?” He whispered the last words, so softly that Ash barely heard his confession.
Ash didn't know what to say, so he just hugged the redhead. “I don't have any siblings, so I don't know whats normal between brothers, and what's not. But Cilan has told me that the three of you are closer than is typically normal for brothers to be?” He rested his head against Chili's shoulder, trying to will himself to understand what he just could not.
Nodding, Chili breathed in the scent of Ash's hair. But instead of easing up, his breathing became more ragged, until, with a start, Ash realized that the normally hot-headed teen was crying. No, not crying, sobbing like his heart was being ripped out of his chest.
Lying them down on the bed, Ash held Chili until he had cried himself to sleep, then he gently untangled himself and crept out of the room to find Cilan. Though he knew that Chili would be mad, he had to tell Cilan about Chili's unusual feelings for Cress.
He decided to try the room he was sharing with Cilan and Iris first, and sure enough he found Cilan doing something on the small computer terminal that was set up on the desk. Pikachu was lounging on Cilan's head, but he jumped down and ran to Ash as soon as the trainer entered the room.
Glancing over, Cilan blushed and quickly looked away again. “I... I thought that you wanted to spend the night with Chili?” It was clear that Cilan was just trying to avoid an awkward silence falling between them, so Ash decided to ignore his friend's question.
“I need to talk to you about Chili... there is more going on with him than even I suspected.” Ash crossed the room and sat down on the bed he had claimed for himself and Pikachu. Setting his hat, jacket, shoes, and gloves aside, he drew his feet up and hugged his knees, and Pikachu, to his chest.
Cilan slowly glanced over at his young friend, and for the first time noticed that he was unhappy and worried. Standing, he crossed the room and sat down next to Ash on the bed, but kept more space between them than normal, not that Ash noticed. “What is it?”
“Earlier, when you caught us whispering, what Chili was really doing was telling me his room number, so we could... well, you know.” Ash blushed as he remembered that he was talking about Cilan's brother, and correctly figured that his friend didn't want to know the details.
“Have sex?” Cilan guessed, shifting slightly, and Ash nodded, not wanting to elaborate. “When I saw you, outside the Pokemon Center, were you and Chili on a date or something?”
“Yeah, we were, a casual date though; all we did was get some ice cream. And yes, Chili is gay.” Ash added, realizing that Cilan might not want to jump straight to that conclusion, despite catching them post-coitus.
“Now I know what you meant when you said that Chili talked to you because your more like him than I am. Though I am wondering why you never told me that you like boys.” Cilan studied Ash as he spoke, wondering how he had failed to realize that his friend was gay.
Ash just shrugged. “I didn't think I needed to, since I stopped trying to hide the fact that I like boys rather than girls towards the end of my Sinnoh journey.” Shifting, Ash studied Cilan back, searching for any sign of discomfort, and was relieved when he didn't find any.
“Anyway, this isn't really what I need to talk to you about.” Ash blushed slightly and fell silent as he tried to think of a tactful way to broach the subject.
“What is it?” Cilan asked, worried now since Ash usually did not have trouble figuring out how to say something.
“On our way back from our date, Chili had mentioned to me that he wanted to keep things casual because there's a boy back in Striaton that he likes. Then later, when we...” Ash blushed harder. “He cried out the name of the boy he likes. Its not that I got called by someone else's name during sex that bothers me; that's happened to me often enough that I'm used to it-” Cilan's eyes widened slightly as he realized that Ash was not only sexually active, he was very active - “It's who his crush is that worries me...” Ash trailed off.
Cilan shook of his surprise at finding out about Ash's secret sex life, realizing that Ash was seriously freaked out by something. “What name did he call you by?” Something inside his mind protested that he didn't want to know, but he pushed the thought aside. How bad could it be?
“Chili called me... In the heat of the moment he...” Ash took a deep breath and blurted out the name before he could chicken out. “Cress! Chili called me Cress as he...” Ash broke off again.
For a long moment Cilan stared at Ash blankly, then he realized what his friend was trying to say and his eyes widened. “A-are you saying that Chili has a crush on Cress?” His voice rose as he said the name of his second brother, wanting to laugh the situation off, but knowing that Ash would never joke around about something like this.
Nodding miserably, Ash watched a variety of emotions and reactions flit across Cilan's face. “When I confronted him about it, he admitted that he had cried out Cress' name, then he started talking about something being wrong with him for liking his brother in that way.”
“D-did he lose his temper?” Cilan asked, worried that Chili had lashed out and hurt Ash.
“No. He...” Ash glanced away, taking a deep breath. “He started crying.”
Cilan's eyes widened impossibly further. “He was crying? N-no, you must be mistaken. Ash, Chili never cries anymore. Not since he was told that boy's aren't supposed to cry. Before then, he was the family crybaby. That's a big part of why he loses his temper so easily, because its more manly than...” Cilan realized that he was started to babble and forced himself to stop talking.
“He cried himself to sleep.” Ash toyed with the collar of his t-shirt, and Cilan noted for the first time that the left side from the shoulder down was damp.
Standing, Cilan ran out of the room and down the hall towards Chili's. What Ash had said, about Chili crying himself to sleep, scared him more than the idea of his brothers liking each other romantically, and he was scared what Chili might do if left alone.
To his relief, Chili was still sleeping when he entered the room. His brother was curled into a tight ball, and still crying slightly, even in his sleep. Quickly crossing the room, Cilan sat down next to Chili on the bed, and gently woke him up.
“Cilan? What...?” Chili asked, blinking up at his brother groggily. Then he remembered what had happened just before falling asleep and be bolted upright, wiping at his damp eyes, embarrassed that he was crying in front of his brother.
“Ash told me that you have romantic feelings for Cress, and that you cried yourself to sleep after confessing them.” Chili glanced over, and was surprised to see nothing but concern in Cilan's eyes. “Are you okay?”
“Y-your not mad at me for... for...” He trailed off, uncertain what he even wanted to say.
“No, I'm not mad, just a bit confused. I can't even begin to imagine why... how you could fall in love with Cress.” Shaking his head, Cilan continued. “But that's not what's important right now. I'm more concerned with the fact that you cried yourself to sleep. What happened to your vow to never cry again?” Though he thought that Chili was being an idiot to have ever vowed to not cry – there were times when crying was the best, or only, thing you could do – the fact that his brother had been crying that hard still alarmed him. “How long have you been keeping this inside?”
Shrugging, Chili glanced away. “I... I dunno exactly. It was a couple weeks after you left for your journey when I first noticed myself... reacting to Cress.” Chili tried to convey how he was reacting silently, so he wouldn't have to say it aloud that Cress made him hard.
Cilan just nodded his understanding. Now that he was certain that Chili wasn't about to do something rash and stupid, the topic was beginning to make him vaguely uncomfortable.
“But even before that, before you left... I'd been finding myself drawn to Cress, wanting to spend more time with him than with anyone else. However, it was about a month ago when I first realized that I'm in love with him. When it was just lust, it was... easy to hide. There were enough male trainers who challenged me based on looks and were willing to mess around with me to keep my lust for Cress at bay. As well as the underground all-ages gay club... though I bet you didn't know about that...”
Cilan shook his head, though he was not surprised to hear that such a club existed, or that Chili would frequent it. Even before he had left, Chili had been sneaking out of the gym about once a week, though he would never mention where he had been upon returning. Eventually, Cress and Cilan had simply stopped asking. “Is that were you went all those times you snuck out and then refused to say were you'd been?”
Chili nodded. “Yeah, I never knew how to explain why I'd want to go to a place like that. No, that's not quite true. I was scared that you, or Cress, would try to stop me from going... or something.” Chili laughed slightly, then it hit him that he was alone with Cilan- and they were technically in bed together.
Frowning slightly, Cilan noticed as Chili suddenly tensed and blushed slightly. “What is it?” Cilan asked, concerned.
But all Chili could do was shake his head. Never before had he though about Cilan sexually, no it had always been Cress. Now, however, he was very aware of Cilan's presence, and his maleness. Sudden confusion made his head swim as he found himself looking at Cilan in a way he never had before. “What if its not just Cress...” He didn't realize that he'd spoken the words aloud until Cilan stiffened.
“Y-you mean...?” Cilan couldn't say it, but they both knew what he was asking.
“What if I'm somehow hardwired for incest, and its not just Cress who gets my blood... Well, you know...” Blushing harder, he glanced away, unable to look Cilan in the eye.
“Are you... hard? Right now?” Cilan held his breath as he waited for an answer he didn't want to know. But, to his eternal relief, Chili shook his head.
“No, but...” He bit his lip, a worried expression twisting his face bitterly.
Thinking hard, Cilan decided that a small experiment was in order. “There's an easy way to know for certain if its just Cress, or not. I want you to try kissing me. If it feels as weird for you as it will for me...”
“Then it is just Cress.” Chili finished, nodding slightly, and, leaning in, softly brushed his lips over Cilan's. Almost immediately he jerked back, as it had felt, not only weird, but wrong. Laughing, he felt a weight lift off him. “Well, looks like your off the hook for the whole incest thing.”
Cilan laughed too, as a memory slowly floated to the surface of his mind. “Do you remember when we were thirteen and first got separate bedrooms?” Chili nodded, confused once more. “It was Cress who first proposed that we each get our own room. I remember asking him, the day after sleeping alone for the first time, why he had wanted his own room.”
“What did he say?” Chili's heart raced slightly as he wondered wildly were Cilan was going with this.
“He said that he was beginning to find it awkward to share a room, especially with you. And yet, when he was unable to sleep, it was you he crawled into bed with, more often than not. Rarely did he ever ask to sleep in my bed.” Now that he knew of Chili's true feelings for Cress, he wondered why Cress had chosen to Chili's bed over his own or Cilan's on so many nights.
“He asked for his own room first, and yet had the hardest time sleeping alone once he got it. I remember that it took him about six months to get used to sleeping alone.” Chili's voice was distant, as he searched his own memory. “He never once told me that he found my presence awkward at night, though. What does this mean?”
“I don't know, you'll have to as him yourself.” Neither spoke the obvious explanation, that five years before Cress had found himself attracted to Chili. If that was the case, then how that would affect his reaction to Chili's confession was anyone's guess.
After a moment, Cilan stood up. “I should let you get some sleep.” Turning, Cilan made it almost to the door before he was stopped.
“Wait. If Cress does... I mean...” Chili broke off, uncertain what he was trying to ask.
“If Cress does feel the same way about you what will I do?” Chili nodded. “I'll be lying if I said that I understood why you'd want that kind of a relationship. I don't, and doubt that I ever will. But I'll respect that its your decision, yours and Cress', and be supportive.” Cilan smiled as he saw Chili's initially stunned expression slowly fade and a broad, loving smile cross his face.
“Cilan...” Standing, Chili crossed the room and gave Cilan a big, yet brief, hug.
“Whatever happens, were still brothers, and I'll always love you.”
“Like a brother should.” Chili finished for him, and Cilan nodded slightly.
Turning back towards the door, Cilan opened it, reassured that Chili wouldn't hurt himself if left alone. But the second they were done saying goodnight, and the door was once more closed, Chili's smile slipped from his face.
Cilan had accepted his feelings for Cress, even though he didn't understand them. But would Cress? Could he? If it had been Cilan and not Cress he felt that way about, would Cilan have been able to accept things so easily?
His head swam as a million questions raced through him. Unwilling to be alone, yet not wanting to show weakness by calling after Cilan, Chili fumbled around blindly until his hand found Pansear's Pokeball. After releasing his Pokemon, he laid down again on the bed, holding the fire monkey tightly against him. Pansear didn't struggle, he was used to Chili's need to hold him tightly at night. Curled up together the pair slowly drifted off to sleep.
A/N- There will be two more parts to this story, with the second being Chili confessing his feelings to Cress, and how Cress reacts. The third part will be Ash and Cilan dealing with Cilan's sudden awareness of Ash's true sexuality.
As always, feel free to leave me feedback! :) Reveiws are always appreciated.
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Forbidden Love