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Beaten!?!	By : janusmaxwell Category: +M to R > Ranma ½ Views: 4301 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma 1/2 or the characters from the show. This fic is for fun, and I am making no money off of it.

Chapter List
- 1-Beaten!?!
- 1
The characters of Ranma ½ are own by Rumiko Takahashi, (Which is not me) and I make no claim to the contrary. I am also making no money off this story as it is for shits-and-giggles. Then again it’s a sexy story so it’s probably more accurate to say squirts and shrieking.

Anyway, the idea occurred to me from a line I wrote in a WIP story, where [REDACTED] is told about Amazon laws and how Ranma managed to defeat Shampoo twice. The response from [REDACTED] was loud laughter, and:

“Oh my God! You trip her and she says she’ll kill you! Then she knocks herself out with her own club and says you have to marry her!? What do these Amazon’s consider a defeat!? If you beat one in a game of checkers, is that a death-or-marry pledge, or a black-eye and a blowjob!?”

From that line, I got an idea and the rest is history. Though there is a singularly unbelievable aspect to this story that will be revealed once you have read it all the way through.

Hope you all like this quick and dirty one-shot fic!

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Beaten!?

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All is mostly quiet on the Kuno Estate, save for the occasional whip-like crack and the haunting laugh of Kodachi as she practices a gymnastics routine, or possibly disciplines a retainer who’d displeased the Kuno heiress.

Near the main entrance of the household proper, lay a trail of destroyed and dysfunctional traps which ended at the front door of the manor. Leaning against the wall of the building is a simple pink bicycle. Deeper inside, along the wood paneled halls, lay an open door.

The door leads to a well lit and spacious bedroom, and against a wall near one set of window’s sits a small table with two chairs and a chess set. The chess pieces are on the board and whoever was playing black is in checkmate, though unusually, the players are absent. Hints to their location come in the form of a trail of discarded clothing leading to the large bed.

Kuno stands tall and proud. This would otherwise be considered his default state, as the deluded kendoist’s ego has grown so massive as to interfere with local satellite reception, but at the moment there were several very good reasons for his swelled head. One was that he'd ordered some delectable Chinese food from a local restaurant. Two, was that the delivery girl had been a vision of loveliness, even if she paled in comparison to the beauteous Akane Tendo or the Pig-tailed girl. Third was that the delivery girl had not been averse to playing a game of chess with him, which he naturally had won.

But most importantly, the lilac-tressed maiden had been so impressed by his victory that she'd immediately stripped down and insisted he do likewise, and was now expressing her awe at his impressive tactical acumen by lavishing her attention on his swollen manhood with her soft lips, exploring tongue and gentle hands-.

A significant squeeze brought what little of Kuno's attention he could divert from praising himself to the lavender eyes looking up at him through lilac-shaded bangs, as the delivery girl had her mouth wrapped around his bokken and was stroking him vigorously. Seeing she had his attention, the beauty pulled off and asked with a lustful growl and a halting manner “You shoot yet, Stick-boy? Shampoo really want to make you cum too-too much.”

Kuno laughed “Fair maiden, do not fret. Rigorous training has granted me the endurance of a mountain, and I can withstand the pleasure of your oral ability for quite some time.”

There was another squeeze and the girl's eyes narrowed into those of a feral animals as she snarled “I no want Kuno endurance, I want Kuno cum! If Stick-boy don't shoot soon, Shampoo jaw hurt too-too much to make him cum!”

Kuno found his desire riding higher at the sign of desire burning in the girls eyes, which did almost as much to aid in his release as her wanton demand for his seed as he replied with a soft groan “Truly, you were so overawed by my tactical prowess that you wish for me to let myself go? Normally, the Blue Thunder would have his reputation to think of, but-”

Kuno moaned loudly as half his pole was inhaled by the purple-haired girl who immediately began to suck on his shaft with all the vigor of a desert traveler trying to get errant drops out of a reed. “If you wish for Tatewaki Kuno’s seed, you shall receive it!”

(Good!) Shampoo snarled internally, her furious expression hidden from Kuno as she gobbled his knob and thought (The sooner you cum, the sooner Shampoo leave and never speak of this again!). While the Amazon corkscrewed her tongue around the ridge of his crown, she cursed (Why even have stupid law for man who defeat Amazon outside of fight!? All that should matter is breed strong blood into tribe, not ‘satisfy’ stupid man who get lucky in game Shampoo no know the rules of!)

Kuno's hips slowly began to thrust, trying to drive his manhood deeper into the Amazon’s wet mouth as the first telltale clenching in his loins started “Beauteous one, your oral skills are without equal!” A particularly hard suck met this statement as Shampoo worked his pole faster. “I am nearing my limit!”

(Finally!) Shampoo grunted as she slurped his pole, jacking him off quickly while drops of his pre-cum ran across her tastebuds. Noting the sweet flavor gave the Amazon pause for a moment, which she took to reevaluate her strategy and brush aside the taste of Kuno’s spunk (But Shampoo cannot risk stick-boy telling Airen about this, or worse, Mousse and Great-Grandmother! Shampoo make stick boy cum so much, he faint and think it all a dream. But must be careful, or it no work!)

There was a pop as Shampoo pulled away from Kuno’s rod, making the Kendoist grunt as she panted huskily “Stick-boy, Shampoo very thirsty from smoking your pole and she want to eat your tasty seed, understand?”

The words from the vision of loveliness servicing accelerating the arrival of his launch, Kuno looked into her fiery eyes and said “If you would imbibe the ambrosia of he Kuno clan, I would be a fool to deny it to you!”

“Good!” Shampoo called before enveloping him again. (Now there nothing to stop Shampoo from finishing stick boy off and leaving before late for next delivery.) a wicked smirk graced the Amazon's lips, which was felt by Kuno judging by his sudden intake of air as she thought (Prepare Stick-Boy! Your balls about to be hollow!)

With a moment to enter a Zen state of mind, Shampoo recalled one of the many ancient Amazon secret techniques developed over the tribes three thousand year history and internally declared (Hum of 1000 Birds!), before letting loose the tongue specific branch of the Chestnut Fist.

In an instant, Kuno shouted as his sensitive knob was wrapped entirely in pulsating tongues, wrapping around his cap while flicking and licking the underside and at the same time somehow squeezing his member. The eagerness of the lilac beauties mouth brought the Blue Thunders orgasm onto him like a lightning bolt as he yelled “I RELEASE!!!” And thrust sharply into Shampoo’s maw as he unleashed the flood.

The technique Shampoo had used was intended to satisfy and incapacitate particularly ‘stubborn’ men, as it was guaranteed to completely drain a man's ball’s and leave him flacid for days, if not ruin blowjobs for him for the rest of his life. The trade-off is that contact with the prick being drained must be maintained and due to the quantities of spunk released, swallowing the ‘victims’ jism is a necessity.

When the first twitch of Kuno’s cock was followed by a stream of semen splattering against the roof of Shampoo’s mouth, which was quickly gulped down to make way for the next shot, the Amazon regretted her decision to drink the Kendoist’s jism immediately. The raw flavor of Kuno’s seed hit Shampoo’s tastebuds, making her eyes widen in shock at how...delicious she found his essence to be. While no stranger to blow-jobs and having a ‘neutral’ opinion on the flavor of a man's cum, Shampoos shock at the tangy sweetness of Kuno's jizz broke her concentration on the Hum of 1000 Birds. (Aiyah! Stick-Boy’s cum is good! It's too-too good! I, I must…)

Her focus lost, Shampoo closed her eyes and moaned around Kuno’s meat as she forsook the Hum of 1000 Birds for suckleing his pole and encouraging him to finish unloading into her mouth. Waiting until her tongue was thoroughly coated in slick goo, Shampoo savored his flavor with a lustful moan before swallowing the Kuno heir’s release, thinking to herself (He...he must have no vigor left after this! Even though I no finish Hum of 1000 Birds, Stick-Boy’s dick now empty and Shampoo has fulfilled the law. Now, must find out why he taste so good...)

Her belly full and her responsibility satisfied, Shampoo pulled off of Kuno’s dick and looked quizzically at him while chirping “Shampoo done, Stick-boy! But, why you cum taste too-too sweet? Shampoo never guzzle man-milk that tasted so nice before.”

Steadying himself, trying to get his post Amazon blowjob sealegs with a small amount of success, Kuno declared “It...it is the benefit of having a patriarch who believes the land of Hawaii to be a utopia and attempts to bring as much of that strange place here as possible.”

“What Stick-Boy mean?”

“What it means, oh literal succubus, is that in some form or another, every day one dish I am served will contain pineapples.”

“Ahh!” Shampoo grinned widely “Shampoo remember that for when she and Airen go back to village! We will have-”

Suddenly, Shampoo’s eyes widened and she scowled (Wait, why am I talking to Stick-Boy!? He should be passed out with empty sack!) then Shampoo spotted his dick out of the corner of her eye and gaped in shock, seeing that since his wang had left the confines of her gob, it'd retained its tumescence. In fact, it might have become even harder as she watched it bob in time with the man’s heartbeat.

“Aiyah!” Shampoo shouted, staring at Kuno’s dick like it'd just winked at her “Why you stick still hard!? Shampoo make you cum buckets and you not soft!?”

“Ah fair vixen,” Kuno declared with a smile “The Kuno clan is legendary for its stamina in many areas of physical prowess! Truly, the gods and goddesses of passion and fertility smile on my lineage-”

While the blowhard got into full swing whacking off his ego, Shampoo’s mind was furiously racing to try and understand how Kuno’s soldier could still be ready for war. (It no make sense! I gave him the Hum of 1000 Birds…well, Hum of 500 Birds anyway. So how can Stick-boy’s cock be hard?)

Then a vision entered the Amazon's mind, of Kuno sampling some of his order when they’d been playing the damnable game that’d landed her in this position and she groaned loudly (Kuno order special number 6 combo! There Oysters in that dish! How could Shampoo be so distracted by tasty cum to forget that?). Fixing his prick with a narrow-eyed look while the actual prick waffled on and on, the Amazon muttered “Shampoo need more training before can use the Hum of 1000 Birds again. Too-too much use can sprain tongue. Shampoo have no choice, it seems.”

“-and that is why my ancestors were blessed by the Kami, and-”

“Stick-boy, we fuck now!”

While normally insulted at being rudely interrupted, as it happened all the bloody time lately, Kuno’s response on this occasion was stare wide-eye'd at the buxom vixen who's sampled his vintage as she got to her feet and fixed him with a determined look. “Verily, you wish to experience the pleasures of joining the Blue Thunder in his bed?” Kuno grinned at the offer and his pride swelled even greater “Then I shall warn you, oh flower. The vigor of the Kuno clan cannot be easily withstood-”

With a frustrated groan, Shampoo grabbed Kuno’s dick and gave him a hard tug. This took him off guard and a little off balance so the normally taller boy had stopped over and found himself almost eye-to-eye with the lilac-haired girl. Her eyes burning as she continued to wank his prick, Shampoo growled “Stick-Boy going to talk, or he going to fuck Shampoo brains out?!”

Under the effects of such wanton need, what more could Kuno do than affirm her desire to couple with him?

“Verily!”

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“A-A-Aiyah!!!”

“Ah, the sounds of pleasure escaping your lips are song like to my ears! Should-”

=

“S, shut up Stick-boy! Shampoo no enjoy awesome cum when you talk!”

Following Shampoos realization that she wasn't going to be ‘satisfying’ Kuno with her talented tongue alone, had immediately thrown him onto the bed and wasted no time in mounting the Kendoist's thick blade. However, her attempts to make Kuno blow as fast as possible had so far proven ineffective, though she had cum several times while trying to make the loudmouth scream Hallelujah. Squatting on the balls of her feet, the Amazon gritted her teeth as she rubbed her clit in one hand and leaned back on the other pressed against Kuno’s thighs. Keeping her pace consistent, Shampoo dragged out the orgasm she was in the throes of, only to settle down with a low moan on Kuno once the flames died out.

Panting heavily, Shampoo glared at Kuno and spat “Why you no cum yet Stick-boy?! Even with busted nut, you no last THIS long!”

Kuno ran his hands across the Amazon's legs as he replied “Fair maiden, my restraint is the stuff of legends!”

Shampoo gave a snort that was missed by Kuno (restraint? Stick-boy so horny he even throw himself at flat-chest Pervert Girl!) then she blinked as an idea came to her mind (Is That why Kuno have too-too much cum? He backed up from years of no nookie?)

“But to that end, I do not wish to miss out on more of your melody of ecstasy!” Kuno reached up and grabbed Shampoo’s breasts in each hand before bucking his hips off the bed. The Amazon gasped in surprise but adapted quickly, matching Kuno’s pace in a moment and moaned as she rode him once more, her heat rising at the feeling her nipples running across the palms of his calloused hands. “I would take my time to commit every quiver and tremble before my ability to memory, especially your marvelous badonkadonk!”

Shampoo’s eyes widened and she shouted “Fuck!”, making Kuno grin as he took her curse to be from the pleasure she was receiving, though to be fair, he was half right as she internally raged (No can let stick-boy remember this! Shampoo need to fuck him into coma, so he think it all a dream!). Frustration and outrage flashed across her face before a word of the last thing Kuno said jumped out at her. Pausing the rodeo for a moment, she looked at him and asked “What stick boy say? Badadabonk?”

“Badonkadonk! Your posterior, oh violet one!” Kuno smiled and reached around to take two handfuls of Amazon backside as he said “The work of art I hold in my hands is second to none and I am in awe of the booty you have seen fit to let Tatewaki Kuno lavish his attention on!”

Shampoo paused, an idea forming in her mind and making her smile slightly “Stick-boy like Shampoo butt?”

“Verily,” Kuno sighed dramatically, though the effect was somewhat lost by the flushed cheeks of a man balls-deep in a hot pussy. “Were my two beloved’s present, I would have to sing their praises, but should they inquire as to the attractiveness of their rears compared to your own, my words would be hollow as your derriere is superior to theirs!”

Her idea evolving into an evil plan almost instantly, Shampoo smiled wickedly as she bent forward, dropping to her knees so her breasts hung over Kuno's impressive pectorals, and letting his groping fingers have more access to her backside while she cooed “Kuno really like Shampoo butt better than Akane or Ranma?”

“On my honor, I would not lie about such a thing.”

Her smile widening, Shampoo resumed riding Kuno, but at a slower pace that let him feel the tensing and unclenching of her gluteus maximu. “Then Kuno no mind holding Shampoo butt while she fuck him?”

“Milady, t’would be my pleasure!” Kuno crowed as he flagrantly groped her ass.

“Oh, Shampoo like that, Stick-boy!” The Amazon moaned semi-theatrically “You thick wang is good, you tasty cum is better, but you holding Shampoo booty is best!” Letting her ass clap against the tops of his thighs for effect, she added “Kuno promise not to let go of Shampoo booty, no matter what?”

“On my family name, I will not leave this ass unclaimed by my hands!”

Shampoo would have giggled at the ridiculous sincerity of the Kendoist's vow, except she was already keeping herself from cackling maniacally as she sat up again and chirped “Okay, then, Stick-boy promised!” reaching down, Shampoo grabbed Kuno's wrists and easily pulled them away from her ass.

“Maiden?” Kuno blinked at the sudden opposing actions of her previous claim.

“Hold on, Stick-Boy.” Shampoo said sultrily “Shampoo want to be more comfortable.” Before he could ask, Kuno let out a groan as Shampoo turned without dismounting his pole, until she was facing away from him. While the friction of being within her twisting womanhood had been exquisite, Kuno had to bite his tongue to keep his release at bay as he looked down and got an eyeful of the same posterior he'd been complimenting. Looking over her shoulder, Shampoo gave a pleased sigh “There. Now Stick-boy grab on.” before taking ahold of his wrists again, making the already pleased Kuno even happier as she directed him to grip a cheek in each hand. “Because Shampoo take you for a ride!”

As she swirled her hips and moved Kuno's dick inside her body, Shampoo ran her hands through her hair and put on a show as she gasped and cried out with only semi-exaggerated lust, bouncing on his pole in a calculated effort to drive the deluded teen wild. As she did, the Amazon crowed internally from her genius plan to set the Kendoist off. (He no have restraint now! Shampoo make him cum buckets with one secret technique, but now she drain gallons with two!)

Bending over to brace her hands on Kuno’s thighs, Shampoo sped up the pace and added a twist to her movements, making Kuno's cock corkscrew within her as she looked over her shoulder and gave the kendoist a lustful yet innocent pout. “Why Stick-Boy so quiet? Is Shampoo not pleasuring you?”

“No, fair vixen! Quite the opposite in fact!” Kuno grunted as he watched his shaft appear and disappear in the girls warm depths from underneath the twin globes of perfection he was gripping “I fear my legendary restraint is weakening under the onslaught of the your fabulous apple-bottom!”

“Then you cum soon?” Shampoo put a lot of eagerness and a touch of her ‘bimbo’ persona into her voice “Shampoo booty make you shoot too-too big load in her pussy!?”

“Worry not!” Kuno was quick to answer with thorough unjustified confidence “I will not yield before I have made you reach the land of clouds and rain once more!”

“But Stick-Boy,” the manipulative Amazon put a hint of a whiny need in her tone “Shampoo want you to make her cunny hot and sticky with you cum!” Holding herself down, Shampoo set off on a series of gyrating wiggles that brought slight ripples through her skin as she moaned wantonly “Shampoo love it when real man hold onto her booty while he fill her with his seed! It make Shampoo feel too-too wonderful!”

The stimulation: physical, verbal, visually and otherwise was battering down Kuno’s dam steadily, making the Kendoist gasp for air as he tried to shout down the echo of his lover's voice, all but begging for the seed of the noble house of Kuno.

But then she did beg.

Looking over her shoulder, the lilac-tressed seductress gave the heir to the Kuno clan a point-blank shot of a half-lidded, pre-orgasmic look of utter submission and moaned softly, her voice husky and a touch desperate as she asked “Kuno...please cum inside Shampoo?”

With a low roar, Kuno shouted “I release!” As his throbbing prick began to unload. Shampoo’s response was immediate, as the moment she'd felt him swell, her needy mannerisms were gone and replaced by triumphant glee as she internally cried (Chinese Amazon Secret Technique: Shivering Pythons Coils!) and began tightening very precise muscles in her sex the moment the first or Kuno’s sailors hit her beaches. If the first division's landing had been to establish a beachhead, they were no longer needed as the rhythmic squeezing and swallowing of Shampoo’s walls brought a high pitch to Kuno's orgasmic shout and the rest of the loudmouths navy landed behind enemy lines, thoroughly drenching the core of Shampoo’s body.

The Shivering Pythons Coils carried its own risks, but unlike the Hum of 1000 Birds, Shampoo was more than aware of the risks in this instance. Because she knew it was coming, the Amazon was able to keep her cool rather than shriek like a banshee as jets of spunk blasted the entrance to her womb, the heat and sharp strikes making her cum with an almost indescribable force and lending to her efforts with the ‘Shivering’ part of the Secret Technque. Her womanhood accepting Kuno's seed readily, the thrashing and shaking Amazon thought with obvious relief (Ai-Aiyah! Shampoo is so happy she safe today! Stick-Boy cumming too-too much and definitely be baby-daddy if I not careful!)

The nut busted, both teenagers came down from their highs with low groans and gasps. Shampoo was first to recover, grinning victoriously as the light sheen of sweat across her body cooled the fire burning in her skin. The walls of her sex coated in slick goo, the Amazon thought (Shampoo feel his load for days! She almost thank Stick-Boy for thick creampie, if he still awake.) as she looked over her shoulder.

Only to gape in shock as Kuno’s fully aware brown eyes looked into hers, completely awestruck as he gasped “You...are a Kami!”

“You still awake!?” Shampoo screeched in equal parts exasperation and horror “How you still talking?! Stick-Boy should be knocked the fuck out! You should be soft! How you-”

She froze, then tensed a few muscles and her expression shifted from ‘completely shocked’ to “thoroughly blown” as she leaned over and slowly dismounted from Kuno. Looking between her legs, her eyes widened as inch by inch of Kuno’s thoroughly cum-soaked shaft came into view, until his ridge crested her nether lips and Shampoo’s jaw dropped from both the deluge of cream dripping from her pie and how Kuno’s favorite sword stood tall and proud. “You...you still hard?!”

Kuno registered the whispered question, but only the volume and not the horrified tone as he caught sight of the lilac-haired girls brown eye winking at him and passion flooded his body. Before she could register the movement, Shampoo was suddenly grabbed and pulled back across Kuno’s chest, squawking in surprise as one of his hands came under her knee and spread her legs apart, while his other hand reached between their bodies. His face next to hers, Kuno declared “Mandarin Valkyrie! Let the Blue Thunder honor you by worshiping directly at the temple of your glorious Canyon!”

“What!?” Shampoo had barely wrapped her mind around the fact that arguably the weakest member of the Nerima Wrecking Crew was outperforming her, when she felt a pressure against her back door and her eyes widened. This turned into a decadent moan when Kuno’s index wormed it’s way inside her backside and wiggled around. “Ah! Ah, Stick-boy! What you do to Shampoo butt!?”

“Lilac Goddess, I would wish to bestow the gift of my final release onto your holiest of holy temples!” Kuno moaned as his middle finger joined his index in widening the Amazon’s sphincter.

Having been caught off guard, Shampoo wasn’t in the most comfortable position, but the pleasure of wiggling digits in her hind end had more than balanced out the unwelcome sensation of having her tightest muscle being forced open. Which wasn’t to say the Amazon didn’t enjoy a good buggering outright. But only when told beforehand and given enough time to relax.

Through the warm pleasure, tinges of pain, and fog of shock and dismay; a lightning bolt struck the girl cold and she whirled around to look into Kuno’s eyes. “Final release?” she asked quickly “You only have one more cum!?”

“It’ is true, fair one!” Kuno met her eyes with that same ridiculous solemnity that he’d obsessed himself with. “I am at the limit for coupling, and I would ask that you let me honor you by having a romp with your rump!”

Shampoo only had a moments hesitation, and that moment was from the thought of (I no know any Secret Techniques for butt-sex! Great-Grandmother say she is still too young to know those moves!)

Then came the counter argument (Then I make new ones!)

Shampoo locked eyes with Kuno and reached down to grab his dick. Lining up and thrusting down so the tip of his mushroom nestled firmly between her backdoor, she gave Kuno a once-in-a-lifetime order with the commanding tone to rival any deity “Fuck Shampoo butt. Hard. Fast. Now!”

Kuno was too the hilt in Shampoo’s ass almost immediately, with the evidence of their previous release acting as lubrication for him to impale the suddenly squealing foreigner on his mighty bokken. The grip and heat were even greater in the writhing girls backside than her sex, while the greater friction made a wonderful contrast to the slick heat from before. After a few thrusts to get a feel for her interior, Kuno gripped Shampoo under both knees and spread her legs lewdly while bracing his feet onto the bed. Shampoo caught the change in pose and the reason why immediately, and reached behind her to grip the sheets on either side of Kuno’s head with a loud shout of “Fuck Shampoo ass, Kuno!”

Her voice descended into a low, primitive wail as Kuno shouted “I STRIKE!” as he began to thrust. It seemed the swordsman had adapted his combative style into sexual techniques and while his fighting prowess was lacking in regards to the greater Nerima Ward, his previously unknown (and unwanted) sexual expertise was possibly the best in Tokyo as he reverse-jackhammered his cock into Shampoo’s ass, shouting “Strike! Strike! Strike!” as he did so.

Shampoo’s ass was burning, but then again, so was everything else as she came over and over again from the unholy ass-fucking she was getting. Red-faced and teeth-gritted, Shampoo held on for dear life as she let Kuno use her sphincter to his loins content and prayed to her ancestors that she would survive however long it would take for Kuno to pop off. Among her whispers of joy, torment and a potpourri of foul curses, Kuno’s voice calling out “I-I am getting close, fair angel!” rang in Shampoo’s ears.

“Cum! Cum in Shampoo’s ass!” she screamed immediately, tears of bliss and relief pouring down her face as she howled “Fill Shampoo butt with hot seed, Stick-boy! Make Shampoo cum! Make Shampoo-”

A hard thrust, a swift yank and Kuno roared as his release hit for the greatest and final time. When the red-hot iron bar of Kuno’s dick spewed molten jism into Shampoo’s bowels, the girl let off a shriek like a fire engine, her amazonian muscles knotting and unknotting from the lightning racing through her limbs as she came yet again.

Kuno and Shampoo all but collapsed against each other as his flaccid prick pulled clear of Shampoo’s ass, the two of them panting heavily while a two streams of jism flowed out of the Amazon’s thoroughly used holes and onto the groin of her lover.

“You...have my seed.” Kuno panted as his eyes dimmed around the edges “Take it with my blessing...and eternal devotion...holy one.”

“Stupid...stick-boy. Shampoo replied tiredly “Shampoo is not Goddess. Shampoo is Amazon.”

“Ah.” Kuno smiled widely as night fell upon him “Then, like the Diana of old...I have given...3 apples…”

“Kuno mean, 3 big nuts.” Shampoo corrected with a small smile. Silence met her, and she frowned at the most singularly unusual sound to ever come from Tatewaki Kuno, and the Amazon asked “Stick-Boy?” as she turned around.

To see Kuno’s mouth gaping open moments before the start of a truly epic snoring session began. Her jaw dropping at the respiratory violence being committed, Shampoo barely had enough time to stifle the high-pitched squeal before she accidentally awoke the slumbering saw mill. Rolling off his chest, Shampoo curled up next to him, one hand over her face and the other holding her shaking stomach as she screamed with laughter into her palm.

=

Slowly, taking great care not to move so much out of concern for her tender but well-fucked backside, Shampoo wiped herself clean and collected her clothes. Fully dressed, the amazon turned to the snoring Kendoist and smiled lightly as she bent over and gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead.

“Is too-too bad Stick-boy is too weak to strengthen tribe. You more than match any Amazon in bed.” the lilac-haired girl’s smile widened as he shifted slightly “I ask Great-Grandmother if make new law for Amazons, where we use men like stick-boy to practice Amazon sexy techniques with. Not same as being Amazon husband…”

With a soft moan, Shampoo locked lips with Kuno and gave him an Amazon-scale frenching, tasting every inch of his mouth before pulling away again. Grinning wickedly at the dopey smile on his sleeping face, she chirped “But Shampoo no think Kuno mind too much!”

Then something caught her eye. An unspeakable event that brought a shaky “A-aiyaahhhh…” from Shampoo’s lips as she slowly faced the resurrected member of the boy who she’d screwed into the ground, staring at his obelisk like the idol to some ancient deity that filled the Amazon with wonder...and dread…

To be continued?

-----

‘Kay, anyone who wants to know the unbelievable secret of this story, has to take the Fight Club oath, because it involves an accidental imbibition of something...less than above board.

When I wrote this out, approximately summer of last year, I went to visit a relative who’d been sick. They weren’t home, I saw a freshly made pan of brownies and swiped approximately 3 of them. When they returned, I was informed that what I had eaten were medicinal strength, “SPECIAL” brownies.

I returned to my home a little before they kicked in and among several things I did of a thoroughly benign nature (None of which I remember), I wrote a large part of this story in 3 and ½ hours. While Snoop Dogg levels of fucked up. And more than a bit of that was done using an App on my phone while I lay in bed and texted a few words before falling asleep for 30 seconds, only to wake up and add a few more words, ad nauseum.

For some reason, I feel really proud of that.

And the majority of this story that was written in 3 and ½ hours of my personal Cheech and Chong movie can be found between the (=) breaks I put in. (Between Shampoo screaming at Kuno to stop talking before he ruins a good orgasm, and her laughing when he finally passed out.)

Hope y’all liked the story as much as I did writing it!
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Beaten!?!