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I Feel Like A Monster	By : PsychoHanyo Category: +G to L > Loveless Views: 1168 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Loveless or anything/anyone canon to it. That all belongs to Yun Kouga. I make NO money off of writing in this category.

Chapter List
- 1-I Feel Like A Monster
- 1
Disclaimer: I own nothing but plot. Everything else belongs to Yun Kouga. I make NO money off of writing this.
Side note: So I posted this elsewhere and someone attacked me for a lot of it, especially the part about Ritsu's eyes. Yes I KNOW his eyes can't jsut grow back after Seimei ripped them out. I'm not a moron. I have a previous fic where he undergoes an experimental surgery to correct/replace his eyes that Seimei took. It's not up on this site yet, however. So before anyone gets confused or thinks I'm a moron for it, I figured I'd say something. Happy reading!
Title explanation: I had this going in a different direction. Soubi feels like a monster for betraying/hurting Ritsuka. Ritsu feels like a monster for the feelings he has for his pupil and for giving him away (even though he refuses to show it to Soubi). Both feel like monsters in their own right. The bigger monster? Well, that’s for you to decide.
Dedication: Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone out there; single, with someone, separated, it’s complicated, whatever you are this holiday.
Warning: Heavy swearing and detailed, rough sex between two males with a rather large age gap (I imagine Ritsu was around twenty-five when Soubi was born, meaning there’s a twenty-five-year difference between them. By the time of this fic, they are definitely consenting adults. Soubi is about thirty, making Ritsu about late fifties-early sixties). If that sort of thing bothers you, don’t read further. Or just skip the sex scene. Whatever works for you best.
000
                Annoyed by the sound of pounding on his front door, Minami Ritsu was ready to curse whoever it was to hell and back and slam the door in their face. He pulled the door open and the words died on his tongue as he saw what was outside. Standing under his awning looking like hell warmed over was none other than his former student and ward, Agatsuma Soubi. The twenty-nine-year-old artist’s head was hung low, blonde hair cascading around his shoulders. He had a suitcase sitting by his feet, and one hand clutching a backpack strap that was over his shoulder. The other hand was poised to knock again, but he lowered it once he realized it had been answered. What was he doing here? Shouldn’t he be back home in Tokyo, living with his boyfriend Ritsuka? The two had been inseparable since they got together.
“Soubi-kun?” Ritsu wondered. “What are you doing in Gora at this ungodly hour?”
“…” He didn’t say a word.
“Soubi-kun…?” Ritsu reached out to him, but he moved out of the way.
“Ritsuka left.” Soubi spoke at last, voice soft.
“What?”
“Ritsuka left me.” Soubi’s voice picked up, but he offered an apology after. “I don’t know why I’m here…I just don’t want to be alone…and Kio’s no help…”
“Aoyagi dumped you?” Ritsu folded his arms over his chest, feeling a little possessive.
Soubi nodded, swallowing hard. He finally looked up at his sensei. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days; the bags under his eyes rather noticeable. His eyes themselves were rather dull and lifeless.
“Can I come in…?”
“Of course. I mean…I suppose.” Ritsu nodded with his head, letting the boy-a man now, but a boy compared to his sensei-pass in front of him.
Soubi nodded, grabbing his suitcase and entering.
“Sit wherever.” Ritsu shut the door. “I’ll make us some tea. You still drink it black?”
He nodded.
“Alright.”
Ritsu went into the kitchen, ignoring the dejected look on his former student’s face. Giving Soubi up to Ritsuka’s elder brother Seimei was one of the worst mistakes of his life. The day he had told Soubi he was going to serve someone else, the blonde had given him that exact same look.
He reentered the living room after the kettle had whistled and he had time to make the tea for them. Soubi was lying on his back on the couch, one arm over his eyes and the other dangling off the couch.
“Tea.” Ritsu spoke, letting his eyes linger over the male’s form for a few minutes.
He was thin, but not sickly so, and rather tall compared to pretty much everyone but Ritsu himself. It was obvious that years of working for Seimei had done its fair share of damage to him, but being with Ritsuka seemed to be the cure all for anything and everything that was plaguing or ever did plague the boy. How long ago had Ritsuka ended the relationship? Soubi sighed and sat up, swiveling so his feet were off the couch. He gripped the end of it as he sat, looking rather childish. Ritsu set the tea cups down in front of them as he sat on a chair across from the couch. It wasn’t often that he had company, so he wasn’t entirely certain what to do in this situation. The last time they had seen one another, it hadn’t been a happy occasion. It had been years since they were close, or rather intimate, in any way. Soubi seemed to resent him. But with Ritsuka gone, he turned to Ritsu…? It didn’t make sense.
“How long?”
“Hm?” Soubi looked up.
“How long have you been like this?”
“Like what…?”
“A miserable wreck.”
“…You mean how long ago did Ritsuka end it…”
“Yes.”
“Three months ago.”
“And it took you that long to come see me? Why?”
“I know it’s stupid…I had nowhere else to turn…”
“Who’s Kio?”
“Why do you ask?”
“You said that Kio is no help. Who is he?”
“…Jealous, sensei?”
Ritsu rolled his eyes. “I’ve evolved beyond petty jealousy, Soubi-kun. Whoever you’re sleeping with is not my business.”
Soubi snorted. “If you knew anything, you’d know Kio is my best friend. My married best friend. There’s nothing between us, Ritsu.”
“You have friends? I’m surprised.” Ritsu smirked.
Soubi rolled his eyes. “Cut it out.”
“Why should I?” Ritsu wondered. “Because you’re upset? Blow your nose and move on.”
Soubi glared.
“Or you could just blow me instead; that’s up to you.”
“I knew coming here was a mistake.” Soubi muttered, picking up his cup of tea and taking a sip; not even wincing at the heat.
“And yet instead of leaving, you’re sitting on my couch drinking tea.”
“It would be rude to let it go to waste.”
Ritsu sighed. “Why are you here, Soubi-kun?”
“I don’t know…”
“Then get out.”
“No…”
“Such a disobedient boy you are. Always have been. Get out of my house, Soubi-kun. That is an order.”
“I don’t take orders from anyone anymore…especially not you…” Soubi’s hands balled into fists though his voice was low and non-threatening.
“Oh? And why is that?”
“I’ve retired.”
“Retired?” Ritsu cocked an eyebrow. “Unless your Sacrifice is dead, you don’t retire. Just because he decided to stop giving it up to you, it doesn’t mean you can retire.”
“Ritsuka and I made the decision to retire long before he stopped letting me fuck him senseless.” Soubi growled.
“Well, language, Soubi-kun.”
The blonde rolled his eyes.
“You’re here for companionship.” Ritsu spoke after a good ten minutes of silence.
“Companionship? From the man that made my childhood a living hell? Why would I want companionship from you? Maybe I just want out of my apartment…”
“The apartment I bought for you and I pay the rent for, for you?” Ritsu snorted. “If you’re come to give it back, you should know you have another year and a half on that lease.”
“I just need a break. Too many memories…”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have let the brat move in with you.”
“The brat was my boyfriend. And my master, if you recall. Seimei gave me away.”
“That sounds familiar doesn’t it?” Ritsu chuckled. “Three masters in your lifetime, and none of them want you.”
“Ritsuka and I…it’s a different case.” Soubi snorted. “You gave me up because you were too weak to name me on your own. Seimei gave me up because I bound myself to Ritsuka and chose him when Seimei wanted me to bind myself to him instead. Ritsuka…”
“Pathetic, Soubi-kun.”
“No more so than a man who’s so head over heels for a woman who chose someone else, that he decided to start banging her fourteen year old son.”
Ritsu glared. “You weren’t complaining when I was making you scream my name, Soubi, and you know you weren’t.” He scolded. “Don’t take jabs at me and our history just because you’re mad that Ritsuka left you.”
“I’m not mad…I’m…disappointed…”
“Explain…?”
“Ritsuka can’t get over me leaving him…when Seimei took me back to fight Moonless…?”
Ritsu cocked an eyebrow. “You chose him.”
“I know.”
“You took his name.”
“I know.”
“You bound yourself to him.”
“I know.”
“You defied Seimei for him.”
“I know.”
“And he can’t get over the fact that you left for a little bit? I think the pathetic one is Aoyagi.”
Soubi set his tea cup down, glaring harshly at the sensei as if he wished he could set him on fire.
“I hurt him. He showed me nothing but kindness, and love, and compassion and I…I willingly walked away from him…I didn’t even say goodbye…he begged and pleaded for me to stay with him. I just ignored him and walked away with Seimei…how can I expect him to just forgive that? I was all he had…for the first time, he had initiated a kiss…”
“And…?”
“He’d never do that…”
“And you call him your boyfriend. Tell me, Soubi-kun, was there anything between you two that wasn’t sex?”
“We didn’t even have sex all that often…” Soubi admitted, blushing. “There was more between us…I love him…”
“He dumped you.”
“I still love him.”
Ritsu sighed. “Like I said, Soubi-kun; pathetic.” He drank form his tea cup. “You’re welcome to stay on the couch. Unless you’d rather come to bed with me; I don’t have a guest room.”
“You’d have to have friends to have guests.”
“Your words sting.”
“Good.”
Ritsu chuckled. “If you’re able to start trouble with me, you’re going to be fine, Soubi-kun.”
He shrugged. “I suppose being here is what I needed…”
He nodded, finishing the last of his tea. “I’m heading to bed.” He informed, standing. “I have a meeting in the morning and its one AM.”
“I woke up Kio at three AM when he had an eight AM class so he could pick me and Ritsuka up from the train station once…”
“What’s your point? I’m old; I need my sleep.”
“Hm.”
Ritsu deposited his tea cup in the kitchen to be washed the next day, and turned to go back to the living room and head for his bedroom.
“I’ll get you some blankets from my linen closet.”
“Linen closet? You sound like a housewife.”
“If I remember correctly, Soubi-kun, in our relationship, you would have been my housewife.” He looked the blonde up and down. “I wonder if I would have been able to get you into a maid outfit.”
“Over my dead body, Ritsu.”
The silver haired male chuckled. “Oyasumi, Soubi-kun.”
“Oyasumi…Ritsu-sensei…”
000
                Ritsu lay in his bed staring at the ceiling, unable to get the thoughts and images out of his head. He had to talk to Aoyagi in the morning about just up and dumping Soubi-kun over something so stupid. Yes, he’d gone and left with Seimei but the kid knew he had to follow the brat’s every order. And to be together so long, only to let his feelings about an incident when he was twelve get in the way now? Either he was just looking for an excuse to dump the fighter, or he was just petty. A knock on his bedroom door roused Ritsu from his thoughts.
“Hai, Soubi-kun?” He greeted.
If it were anyone else, he would have heard them enter the apartment. The door opened without a word.
“Can’t sleep.” Soubi muttered instead, trudging in with bare feet.
“So, you came to bother me?” Ritsu sighed, turning to face the wall. “You’re as annoying now as you were when you first came to me.”
“You mean for you.” Soubi glared.
Ritsu rolled his eyes behind closed lids. “Please, Soubi-kun, save the jokes.” He ordered. “Go away.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Stubborn child…”
He didn’t bother to protest, knowing it would do no good. The last time Soubi had come into his room unable to sleep, it had been right after he’d been taken in and the first thunderstorm came rolling in. He’d wanted everything from a glass of water to a bedtime story; anything to get Ritsu to let him stay with him just a little while longer so he could sleep better. Stubborn brat. Ritsu had warned Iyani she had to be stricter with him. But no, she’d insisted she was right. And now, all these years later, he was still teaching the boy things he should have known forever ago. Pathetic.
He felt the bed shift next to him and heard the comforters move. Of course, he wasn’t going to listen. Why would he? Didn’t listen to that order as a kid, wouldn’t listen to it now. Perhaps this kind of behavior was why Ritsuka gave up on him. He just needed some lame excuse so Soubi wouldn’t think there was something wrong with him. The teen-wait, maybe he was twenty-one by now? Who cared-really did have a damn bleeding heart.
“Sensei…?” Soubi asked.
Ritsu’s nose crinkled. The liquor on the blonde’s breath was overwhelming.
“What do you want? Go back to the couch. I gave you a blanket.”
“Can’t sleep.”
“As you said. I fail to see why I need to care.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why did he…?”
Ritsu groaned in frustration. Now he expected him to explain the boy’s behavior? For real? He really was drunk.
“How should I know?” Ritsu wondered. “Maybe you’re annoying.”
“No…”
“No, you don’t think that’s the case? Or no, you don’t want that to be the case?” Ritsu muttered. “You’re annoying me now. Go away.”
“Can’t sleep.”
“Why the fuck not?”
“Not used to…alone…”
Ritsu groaned. He missed having someone lying next to him. Figures.
“Then fall asleep here if it shuts you up.” Ritsu stated. “Do not mistake that offer for weakness. I just want you to shut up.”
Soubi didn’t say anything. Ritsu sighed, pulling the blankets further over his nose. He’d finally won and got the boy to shut up. Thank…what the hell?
He wasn’t expecting a pair of arms wrapped around him and a cheek nuzzling into his neck. God, Soubi needed to shave.
“What do you think you’re doing…?”
“Do you mind…? Should…go…?”
“I’m…merely confused…”
Soubi shrugged one shoulder.
“You have, on more than one occasion, told me to piss off.” Ritsu stated. “Now you’re making your own advances on me? Hm, what gives?”
“Not an advance…warmth…”
“Ah, so you’re hoping to suck the warmth out of a frail old man because you’re cold?”
“Frail and old…not…you…” Soubi yawned.
“Shave in the morning, that’s an order, Soubi-kun.” He ignored the compliment.
“H-Hai, sensei…”
A pause.
“Should I remove myself?”
Ritsu grunted. “Do what you want.”
“I don’t know what I want.”
“You’re a confused child, Soubi, you always have been.” Ritsu peeled the man away from him and turned to face him. His face still wasn’t clear, but he knew doing so sent a shiver down the blonde’s spine. “You listen to me and you listen well. You are intoxicated. You know full well that I will take advantage of that. What you want to do from here is your choice.”
Soubi looked away even though he knew his Sensei didn’t really see it.
“I don’t…”
“Don’t say you don’t have a choice. Coming to me was a choice. Entering my room was a choice. Everything you are doing is your own choice. No one told you to come here. I’m sure as hell Aoyagi didn’t send you here to spend time with me.”
“Didn’t…”
“But you’re here. So, make another choice. I may be close to blind in this darkness, but that does not mean I can’t overpower you.”
Silence answered him as Soubi suddenly shifted closer. No, you idiot, you’re supposed to go away. Ugh stupid kid.
“Need…”
“Need what…?”
“Master…”
“I don’t think that I’m…”
Rough lips pressed against his shocked the sensei’s eyebrows up into his hairline. God, the boy was incorrigible as a child, and when sober, but this was a whole new level of idiotic. They both knew Ritsu’s ‘take advantage of you’ speech was nothing more than a ploy; an empty threat he’d never follow through on. Still, the blonde would have shied away from him, memories of the loss of his ears painfully bubbling up to the surface, and let him be for the night. When he sobered up in the morning, he’d realize it was a huge mistake and leave before Ritsu even woke up. But no. Being with Aoyagi just had to embolden him, right? Now that he had a name permanently etched into his flesh that he was proud of, he was as much of a cocky bastard as Ritsu himself or, dare he say it, the elder Aoyagi and his own Fighter. Akame something or whatever. The one Mikado swore to kill but hadn’t done so yet for idiotic reasons.
Ritsu shoved him away with a well-placed hand on his shoulder.
“Get out.”
“You said…choice…make…”
“I didn’t realize what an idiot you’ve become, Soubi-kun.” Ritsu informed. “Now go.”
“No.”
“Excuse you?”
“Staying.”
There was a defiant look in the blonde’s eyes that sensei could barely see in the darkness, but knew it was there. It was there every time he got into a fight as a kid and Ritsu chastised him for it. It was there every time he showed up at the Academy for meetings with Seimei and promptly told his sensei and former lover to, in no uncertain terms, fuck off. It was there the day he first brought Ritsuka to the Academy when they met in the hallway and Ritsu attempted to engage him in polite, albeit teasing, conversation. He hadn’t been wrong. The boy had been too young for Soubi to fill his needs at the time. Ritsu just offered himself as a little familiar substitute. Imagine his surprise when Soubi said he had that back home and wasn’t looking for another.
“You defying me?”
Soubi nodded. “Yes.” He spoke finally, knowing the elder man couldn’t see without his glasses and in the lack of moonlight.
Damn Aoyagi. Even after his surgery, he had vision problems. His eyes would never be the same again; forever changed by the brunt end of a knife. What he’d give to properly see the sight before him. That defiant look, that unwittingly seductive little pout, long blonde hair-was it still long like when he’d come to the academy last? Ritsu had a feeling it wasn’t-damn Aoyagi for taking that away from him. That little angelic face that looked so much like his late mother’s was burned into the sensei’s mind. As an adult, he more closely resembled his late father Hibiki; a thought Ritsu didn’t want to give any more bearings to.
“You must have a death wish, Soubi.” A hand caressed the blonde’s cheek. “Perhaps Aoyagi ever comes back for you…only to find you’ve been tainted by me. He won’t take you back again.”
“Didn’t abandon…” Soubi leaned into the touch, a gentle kiss being placed on the thumb pad that ran gently along his lower lip. “He dumped me. He won’t come back.”
“You don’t know that.” Ritsu huffed. “As mad as he is at you, the boy has always found you irresistible…as have I.” He purred. “Do you remember it well, Soubi-kun? The last night we lay together…?” He let out a contented sigh. “Are you ready to give into that again?”
Soubi nodded against the palm. “H-Hai…sensei…begging…please…”
“What do you want?”
His question wasn’t answered with words, but with actions. Soubi’s lips were suddenly on his, long nimble fingers threading through his hair, another hand fisting the collar of his sensei’s blue button up bed shirt. A moan escaped the blonde’s lips as Ritsu’s tongue made a familiar move to request entry. The moment his lips were parted, the saliva coated appendage slid in and found the matching one in its host mouth. He stirred it to life, finding he liked it when Soubi instinctively ground against him and moaned his name. God, kissing the boy was so different than it had been before. Before, he could see the man’s face clearly, even without the moonlight or his glasses in the dead of the night. But now, he was lucky to make out an outline. With his sight hindered, every sound and other feeling was intensified. He could feel hairs twitching at the nape of Soubi’s neck, he could feel a tent in his pants twitching ever so slightly when Ritsu slid his hand against it. He found the belt buckle easily and popped it open, yanking it roughly off his former pupil with one move. When Soubi didn’t argue against the harsh treatment, Ritsu smirked and stole his tongue back. The boy still liked it rough. Must have been hard getting that kind of feeling when the brat was on the bottom. He didn’t have to ask to know. It was just something you could sense, really. The boy hated being a Sacrifice. What better way to give up control of himself, of his body, than to let his much older, more mature Fighter take the lead? Ritsu almost chuckled at the thought. Between himself and Aoyagi, Soubi knew what it was like to both penetrate and be penetrated. He wondered. After tonight, which would the blonde appreciate more?
His shirt was unbuttoned by trembling fingers that betrayed their owner’s real internal thoughts. The thought made Ritsu chuckle. This was pathetic. The boy didn’t even know what the hell he wanted. He was desperate to feel some kind of love, even if it was rough, burning love making from his former sensei instead of the sweet tenderness he’d come to understand and adore of the youngest of the Aoyagi brothers. While the boy never had it in him to physically injure another, his words and actions caused a deep emotional cut that he hadn’t even noticed. It was pathetic on all levels. Apart, they were hopeless. But together, they were even more so.
Shirt gone the wayside with the belt, the trembling fingers found their own path down a toned, scarred torso. Soubi’s eyes flickered over every last one of Ritsu’s little scars and blemishes. Between the vicious fighting styles he’d grown accustomed to when his father ran the academy and his own fighting style, both physical against Hibiki on a few occasions and in spell alongside Soubi’s mother, his body was quite the canvas for the artwork of intricate tanned lines and raised bumps that made up the expanse of his flesh. He didn’t regret a single scar. Each one was like a story. Physical scars and wounds were fine, but when they happened to the face, that was another story. He loathed Seimei for taking away the last of the unmarred flesh that made up Soubi’s young body all those years ago. His back was stripped of skin and repaired, only to be stripped again in Ritsu’s sick, sadistic training sessions that Iyani would have slapped him silly for designing, let alone implementing; especially on her own son. But when he was on his back, arched up to the heavens, it wasn’t that scarred back he was staring at. Now it was that hideous word cut ever so deeply into one of the blonde’s most sensitive places; his throat. He’d been horrified by the blood, horrified by the idea that he’d given his star pupil, his pride and joy, over to someone like Seimei. Was he any better? No, but he wouldn’t just leave Soubi in the garden shed to bleed to death once his name was carved into his flesh. Ritsu’s fingers found their way underneath Soubi’s shirt and traced his side where the word Loveless appeared in slightly raised flesh. Once he had bound himself to Ritsuka, the name had arrived. It wasn’t carved like Beloved’s had been. It was just a tan scar now, like a birth mark. Tan, calm, beautiful. Not rough, jagged, bloody red like his Sacrifice’s counterpart brother. That was how a name was supposed to be. Beautiful and freeing; not painful and drowning.
His own name still held true to its spot on his bare lower back; the left corner, in script, just above his pant line. Hibiki had mocked it, calling it a tramp stamp, the first time he saw it in gym class all those years ago. One Iyani had proudly displayed to him the same on her back, he stopped mocking it. Soubi proudly fought under the Aoyagi name; loyal to a much younger Master who had no business controlling a Fighter like Soubi. He couldn’t control a Fighter like Soubi. And that was why he returned to him a free spirit; someone he needed to break and rebuild again as the perfect fighting machine…no. If this were to be the way things were, the two of them alone in bed with no one but the moon and stars to bear witness through the open window, he didn’t need a perfect fighting machine. He needed a submissive lover. And Soubi, oh was Soubi just that. He was always so willing to please. Willing to do anything, even things he found downright disgusting, just to get some kind of praise from his sensei; whether in bed or not.
“Sensei…” That longing moan Ritsu was so used to hearing ripped from the blonde’s throat as he tossed his head back.
Ritsu’s teeth lightly grazed a vein in the man’s neck he wasn’t aware was still sensitive, and so easy to find in the dark, too. One hand held Soubi across the face, pulling his face away and moving him to expose his neck, and the other pulled his waist closer. The denim friction against his pajamas was almost enough to send the elder male over the edge, but he held it back. That would be such a waste of an orgasm. Soubi gripped onto the pillow with one hand and the sheets with the other as if his life depended on it. Ritsu flipped them so the blonde was kneeling over his sensei, long hair tickling his face. By all means, he was attractive, even with that annoying stubble trailing against the elder’s skin.
Ritsu pulled away from the vein as it throbbed, licking a long trail up the boy’s neck to his earlobe. He attached gently to the flesh, grazing it with his teeth and giving it a few tugs. Soubi shuddered on top of him, tent in his jeans twitching as he pressed against his sensei, looking for more contact.
When Ritsu released him to see what he’d do, the blonde hastily took both his jeans and boxers-if he’d worn any of the latter at all-off in one swoop. His fingers quickly found his former master’s pant line and he tugged them off, being a little rough for his position.
“Soubi-kun, easy.” Ritsu ordered, hand rubbing soothing circles on the blonde’s bicep before his nails dug in and left little half-moon divots.
Soubi didn’t cry out, biting his tongue as Ritsu had once instructed him.
“I want to hear every sound you make, you understand me?” Ritsu asked. “I can’t see anything in this position. I need to feel, to hear…”
“Hai, Sensei…gomen…”
“Don’t apologize. Sounds too much like the brat’s name. Such a turn off.”
Gomon Mikado, Septimal Moon’s Executioner in seat Four.
“Hai, sensei. won’t…hm…again…”
The blonde shuddered as he let out a breath. Ritsu couldn’t see him, but he knew where his eyes were going.
“Go on.” Ritsu stated. “You know what I like.” He folded his arms behind his head, elbows out. “Come on, Soubi-kun. Don’t be a damn cock tease. You’re too old for these games.”
“H-Hai…”
Ritsu felt the bed move and squeezed his eye sockets shut as he waited. The blonde only had a few choices here; take Ritsu dry, or something he adamantly claimed he hated doing. Warmth enclosing his engorged member answered that question. Soubi’s skilled tongue worked the muscles in the underside of his penis like it was his job. Ritsu bit back a moan as soft lips suckled nicely on a swollen pink head, a hand moving up and down in time with his sucking. Ritsu’s fingers found their way into Soubi’s hair again. He pulled down, urging the boy to take more into his mouth. Soubi did as told, hungrily swallowing up the man’s shaft into his greedy mouth. Saliva slickened his movements as he began to bob gently up and down on his sensei. Ritsu’s grip on his hair got tighter and he moved his hips in time counter to Soubi’s own bobs. Soubi moaned as Ritsu forced him to still. The sensei thrust in and out of Soubi’s mouth like he owned the place and, in all honesty, he did. While Soubi was looming over him, barely supported by his elbows as he took as much of the familiar cock into his mouth, the move was completely domineering on Ritsu’s end. Soubi moaned, a cough bubbling up in throat and coming out as a choked sort of sob. Ritsu began guiding the boy on and off of himself, making sure to pull opposite with his hips. Soubi’s left fingers gripped onto the man’s left hip, but the other trailed south. Ritsu could feel Soubi’s hand running along his leg. The blonde was seriously getting off on Ritsu practically choking him by shoving his cock past his tonsils. Damn, Aoyagi trained him well. Beforehand, he never would have done something like this, let alone willingly let Ritsu take control of him. Ritsu felt a heaviness pool in the pit of his stomach and pulled Soubi off him so only his tip was in the blonde’s mouth.
“Your hand.”
Soubi obliged, letting go of his own length to stroke Ritsu’s, and letting go of his hip to massage the sacks of flesh underneath. Ritsu came with a moan of the former student’s name. white ribbons shot out and hit the roof of Soubi’s mouth, making him take more of Ritsu in his mouth just so he wouldn’t waste the sweet nectar his mentor was releasing. Ritsu let him go and Soubi came off him with a pop, a trail of saliva mixing with semen seeping from the corner of his mouth. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and sat back on his heels, panting.
“S-Sensei…good…”
“It tastes good? Or you enjoy what I just made you do?”
“Both.” Soubi coughed, coming up and placing a gentle, placating kiss on his lips. “But I need more.”
“Desk drawer.” Ritsu grunted.
He heard the drawer open and Soubi tinker inside. Soubi scooted a little higher up his body, kneeling on both sides of him. He took the sensei’s hand and liberally applied blue tinted clear gel to his palm. He guided the man to his entrance, where Ritsu gently rubbed a few circles before slipping one finger in to the second knuckle. Soubi moaned, practically collapsing on top of him.
“Too much…” He complained.
“Grit your teeth and bear it.” Ritsu ordered, repeating a lesson from childhood. “You know better.” He pulled the blonde down to whisper in his ear. “Did you prepare Aoyagi like this, hm? Cover your hand in lube and stretch that tight little ass?”
“N-Not your…b-business…” Soubi grunted as Ritsu thrust his finger and added another without giving Soubi a chance to get comfortable with the first one. “Mouth…”
“Hm…?”
“Ritsuka didn’t…lube…didn’t like…feel of it…” He groaned, arching downwards and rubbing his still erect member against Ritsu’s re-hardening one. “Saliva…better…”
“Soubi-kun, are you telling me you’d use your…”
“Not discussing…mm…you…enough…”
“Hm?”
Soubi pulled Ritsu’s fingers out of him before drizzling a healthy amount of lubricant onto the elder man’s cock. He stroked him harder, using his lips on the tip and giving it a few harsh sucks. He released him and, in one quick thrust, took Ritsu up to the hilt.
“Slow down!” Ritsu argued, back arching.
“C-Can’t…need…feel full…need it…” Soubi forced himself onto his knees as he rode his sensei, throwing his head back as he moved up and down.
“S-Shit…” Ritsu muttered.
Soubi had ridden him before, sure, but this? This was something different entirely. Without his eyes to get in the way, he could feel everything. He could feel every muscle inside Soubi’s innermost place twitching and spasming around him; trying to force the intruding appendage out of a body that didn’t want it out in the first place. He felt the sweat dripping down the man’s back and meeting where his cock was entering him. He felt Soubi adjust himself and bite his wrist to keep from crying out as his Sensei reached the deepest parts inside of him that hadn’t been touched since he started laying with the youngest of the Aoyagi brothers. He felt the blonde resist the urge to moan his master’s name, moan his sensei’s name, as Ritsu just barely touched that one special place inside him that was making white explode behind his eyes. It was glorious.
Ritsu bit back a moan as he met the man thrust for thrust. Forcing himself deeper into the tight channel.
“M-More…” Soubi complained.
Ritsu stilled him and withdrew, pushing the man off of him. Soubi whined out a protest, but Ritsu covered his mouth with one hand. Frightened cobalt eyes stared up at a face he hadn’t seen close up in years. The warm breath on the outside of Ritsu’s palm made him pause. He put a finger from his free hand over his lips.
“Flip over. On your knees.” Ritsu stated. “You’ve had your fun. Now it’s my turn.”
Soubi nodded dumbly as Ritsu released him. he pushed himself onto his stomach and slid his knees under him, raising his behind in their air in a lewd display that told Ritsu he could have what he wanted and take it how he wanted to. Ritsu stood higher on his knees and leveled his cock with the blonde’s rear end. He made Soubi grip himself with both hands and was pleased to watch the other man react by gently pulling apart his cheeks and showing off his puckered entrance. It twitched with anticipation, slightly open from the girth of Ritsu’s cock spreading it earlier. Ritsu leaned down and spat on the entrance, rubbing the saliva around with the tip of his cock.
“What do you want, Soubi-kun?” He wondered, dragging his nails down the boy’s scarred back that was now on full display for him.
Soubi arched up. “It’s not…not what I want…you want…what you want…”
“That’s right.” Ritsu purred, pressing Soubi’s back down to increase his lewd arch. “What I want…”
He dug his nails underneath a particularly nasty scar, making Soubi cry out before he realized his mistake and bit his lip. The sensei gave a nice, firm swat to his ass. Soubi only bit harder into his lip, drawing blood, and arched more towards the bed. Ritsu smirked as he watched the man unknowingly put himself higher and higher so Ritsu could take him properly. Ritsu gave the injured flesh a little squeeze and delighted in the choked grunt that rose in his pupil’s throat.
“Tell me, Soubi…the brat…” He smirked. “Did he like it rough, hm? Did he do it to you like I used to?”
“R-Rough…bo-bottom…Never top…”
“As I thought.” Ritsu muttered. “You don’t remember what it’s like to be taken and controlled completely anymore, do you?”
Soubi quickly shook his head, laying it flat against the pillows. “Please…r-remind…me…”
That was all he needed to hear. Ritsu propped one foot up on the bed and kneeled on the other knee. He didn’t bother to warn the blonde as he gave his rear a firm swat with his cock before he pushed back inside that tight channel. Soubi groaned, and for once, Ritsu didn’t reprimand him for the sound. It was heavenly. This position, this man…all of it. Ritsu pulled and pushed back into the entrance quickly, gripping onto Soubi’s hips with his nails for support. Soubi let out a scream as his own fingers dug deep into the pillow he was now biting on.
“No.”
Ritsu pulled him off the pillow by the hair until his back was flat as he was on all fours. Soubi panted as one hand pulled on his hair and the other dug painfully into his hips as Ritsu thrust. Soubi’s neck arched as Ritsu gave him a harsh tug by the hair, but he didn’t cry out. If Ritsu could have properly seen the sight or the look in the blonde’s eyes as his former sensei used him for all he was worth, he would have come on the spot.
“I want to hear it.” Ritsu grunted. “I want to hear every dirty little thing coursing through your mind, Soubi-kun…” He leaned down to nip harshly at the man’s shoulder. “Tell me how good it feels to lose control again…tell me how good…how good it feels to lose control…I know you’re tired of dominating the brat. That’s why you’re here. You want someone who’s willing and well prepared to give it to you good…”
He let go of his hair as he continued moving in and out of the boy he’d given away what seemed like such a short time ago.
“Take it like a good boy…” Ritsu hooked an arm around his chest. “Take the entirety of my cock inside your tight little as…it’s like you’re a damn virgin all over again…what’s the matter, Soubi-kun, forget what it feels like when you’re fucked properly by a man, instead of being forced to fuck a damn teenager?”
“R-Ritsuka…twenty-one…”
Ritsu bit harshly into his shoulder. “I didn’t ask.” He snapped. “Tell me…why did you come here…”
“I wanted…forget…” Soubi moaned. “I needed to forget him…”
“Have you forgotten him yet, Soubi? Or do I have to try harder?” Ritsu’s thrusts became a bit more erratic as he slammed in and out of his student’s abused entrance.
Soubi cried out, relishing in the fact that instead of punishing him for the sound, Ritsu pulled him up into a sitting position where he was riding the elder man again. Ritsu held him steady as he relentlessly finished his lewd thrusts into the tight channel.
“I-I’ve forgotten…forgotten…!” Soubi moaned, laying his head back on the man’s shoulder. “More, Sensei, give me more…make me feel like a teenager again…!”
Ritsu’s free hand that wasn’t connected to the arm against Soubi’s chest and forcing him back against Ritsu began roughly stroking the man’s cock.
“That’s what I wanted to hear, Soubi-kun.” Ritsu purred, licking a trail up the man’s neck to nibble at his ear. He flicked his tongue inside and nibbled on his earlobe before continuing a nice lick up the man’s face.
Soubi cried out, one hand gripping the arm over his chest and one gripping the wrist of the hand stroking him.
“So, good, Soubi-kun…so good when you let lose.” Ritsu bit into his neck, sucking hard and finding himself slightly appalled that he enjoyed the taste of the metallic liquid that came from his wounds. He apologetically licked up the blood. “Feel like a young boy again, Soubi? You feel like that fourteen-year-old I fucked all those years ago…?”
“Y-Yes…” Soubi moaned. “Thank you…thank you, Sensei…” Tears were flowing from his eyes, though Ritsu couldn’t see. “T-Thank you for reminding…reminding me…”
“Reminding you of what?”
“Reminding me I prefer to be fucked then to be the one doing the fucking.”
That set Ritsu over the edge. He gripped harder onto Soubi’s penis and thrust as hard as he could with the man trapped against him this way.
“I’m close…so fucking close to filling you up…do you want it, Soubi? Do you want my seed inside you?”
“Y-Yes! Please…inside…!”
“I could have spent my life having my own family, you know. Could have met a nice girl, settled down, had children. But you.” Ritsu bit him again, closer to his collar bone. “But you came along and changed that…turned fourteen…fourteen and already a man…”
“A man y-you made me…made me a man…”
“Yes, I did.” Ritsu chuckled, licking a trail up the blonde’s neck before forcing his head the other way to give him another harsh bite and a long suck. “I could have given into Nagisa, you know. Could have her in my bed every night, screaming my name…I gave up my chance at having a happy little family like your mother and father…” the thrusts were particularly harsh at mother and father. “But instead, I’m dumping my load in your backside. You should feel so proud of yourself…” Ritsu chuckled. “You get what Nagisa craves…”
“W-What…?”
“My cock stretching your hole nice and wide.” Ritsu muttered into his ear. “As long as your ass is greedily swallowing up the white ribbons from my cock, she will never have me…”
Soubi whined as Ritsu thrust particularly deep and hit his prostate.
“Ah I’ve found it.” His thrusts increased in speed. “About god damn time…” He released Soubi, pressing him down so he was arching up and Ritsu could have stand to pound into him. Soubi gripped the pillows tightly.
“Thank you, Sensei…thank you for choosing me…”
“You didn’t give me much of a choice…coming here drunk, climbing into my bed tonight…” Ritsu chuckled, leaning over him in a power move so subtle he wasn’t even certain Soubi had recognized it. “Scream for me, Soubi…”
Soubi obliged, tossing his head back as Ritsu bit harshly into his shoulder and pumped his length for all it was worth. Soubi le tout one more scream, louder and more strangled than the last, as ribbons of white shot form the tip of his cock to cover both Ritsu’s hand and the bedsheets. Ritsu grunted and gave Soubi’s backside a swat. It was the only warning he received before Ritsu’s balls tightened and his cock shot his load deep into the younger man. He kept thrusting long after the ribbons stopped coming, making sure the blonde knew who was in charge; who owned him. he collapsed on top of Soubi for a moment before gathering his wits and pulling himself out of the blonde.
“Clean up your mess…” He muttered.
Soubi did as told, laying sideways to lean over Ritsu and hungrily suck his cock into his mouth again. Ritsu tapped his fingers on Soubi’s hip bones as he gently sucked him clean, trying not to stir either of their members to life again. When he finished, he released. Satisfied, Ritsu pulled the blonde to lay onto his chest. Soubi’s breath ghosted over his left nipple as he struggled to get comfortable. No doubt his back and neck were the sorest parts of him; being bitten, clawed, scratched, manipulated the most. Ritsu ran his fingers along the blonde’s crack, pulling away fluid that he licked off his own fingers.
“Tastes good…” He muttered, kissing Soubi on the temple and pulling the blankets over them. “Sleep.”
“Thank you…” Soubi muttered, eyes falling asleep. “I needed…needed to forget Ritsuka…”
“If you’re mentioning him, you haven’t forgotten him. But I’ll thank you for that excellent fuck, Soubi-kun.” Ritsu chuckled. “I forgot just what I was giving up when I gave you to Aoyagi…if I had my way, you’d have had this every god damn night form the night I took those blasted ears of yours…”
“I was fourteen…”
“By the end of the night, you were begging me for another round.” Ritsu rolled his eyes.
“I didn’t know any better…”
“Hm, perhaps so. But you do now. And I believe you begged for me a few times tonight. Seems like fourteen-year-old Soubi knew what he wanted more than twenty-nine-year-old Soubi realizes.”
He left the blonde to contemplate his words as he drifted off into his own slumber.
000
                He awoke the following morning to an empty bed. Ritsu grunted in annoyance. Just as he thought. Soubi came over drunk, slept with him, instantly regretted it in the morning, and ran back to Ritsuka to beg for forgiveness. Pathetic child. Ritsu rolled and his fingers brushed against a cell phone, forgotten in the tangled blankets and sheets. He flipped it open, fingers grazing the keyboard to find out which button was which. The phone was basic. Soubi’s mobile. He felt something raised on one of the buttons more than the others and concluded he was meant to press that one. He did.
“Sensei.” Soubi’s voice broke through the speaker. “I’ll be returning momentarily for my cell phone. You’ve left me in quite a state. I have a hangover, and you have some explaining to do why my backside is so sore and where all the marks on my damn neck came from. I’m in pain all over.”
Great. His hangover cured him of any memory of the night before. Fantastic.
“Whatever you did…I hope you remember so you can do it to me again…I have a lot of forgetting to do.”
Ritsu smirked. He knew damn well what he was doing. Fucking tease.
He wondered how Aoyagi would react to the news that his former lover was returning to screwing the man he claimed he hated for the loss of his ears. Ritsuka lost out to Ritsu this time, not the other way around as it normally was. That would be a nice jab to the retired Sacrifice’s ego. What was with him and wanting to completely screw up the Aoyagi boys’ perfect little worlds? Eh, Ritsuka was the one who screwed up his perfect little world. Soubi knew damn well how to fuck the boy. He knew what he wanted, what he needed, how to make him feel right. And yet Ritsuka gave him away, gave away the man that had made so many amends to him for leaving with his brother; amends he never should have had to make in the first place. It was Seimei’s right to come back for his still named Fighter.
Even now, with Beloved gone and Loveless delicately taking its place in the flesh, Soubi was still a tool meant to be used by whoever knew how to mold him properly. Sex with Ritsu was just what he needed to make the boy feel reborn so he could move on again. And if that was what Soubi needed to be whole again, then who was Ritsu to complain? He was getting good, free sex out of the deal. Soubi’s ego was boosted, and he got to get off for the first time in so long he couldn’t even remember. It would work for them and they’d both be satisfied, in more ways than one. Perfect. Beloved, Loveless, Careless. It didn’t matter.
Different name, same fate.
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