The King and the Tutor | By : phoeyay Category: -Misc Anime > General Views: 1444 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I do not own The Royal Tutor, and I make no money on this fiction. |
It was nothing. A slight furrowing of the brow and a tinge of bitterness to the voice, that was all. But such nothings could betray important information - the kind that could save or topple a small nation like Grannsreich - so King Victor Von Grannsreich had grown accustomed to noticing them.
Victor stretched out his feet towards the softly glowing coals of the dying fire, musing on the small man who had sat across from him at that same fire sharing wine not an hour before. Why that discordant note? He wondered. They had been speaking of Victor's dream, the lifelong ambition and duty he was called to fulfill, the one Heine would help him fulfill. Heine... here in the palace, finally...
The tutor had seemed for a moment to resent that dream that he was already so vital in realizing. Could this be a hint of some betrayal? Victor shook himself angrily. Of all men I can trust, he is the foremost.
Heine had never been one to show his innermost feelings. Their past had been fraught with such emotion, such striving... If I had not pulled through, had not been there to pardon him, he would be in that dungeon still. No, he would be in a criminal's forgotten grave. In a very real sense, Victor had saved Heine's life twice over. On seeing Victor alive, Heine had broken down in a way Victor had never seen before, or since.
How would I feel if the positions were reversed? the king wondered, idly twiddling his empty wine glass between his thumb and forefinger. He pictured Heine... his Heine... At death's door as Victor had been. He imagined not knowing if his friend had perhaps made the ultimate sacrifice to save him. He tried to feel the shame and anguish that would have been heaped on top of that feeling of grief by suddenly finding himself accused of using that precious person as a shield ... His dear friend who had saved him... And further finding his dear friend was not who he thought they were.... The memory returned to him of the sight of Heine's face when they were reunited. The dawning of understanding, and a sharp look of fierce joy that seemed even then to imply a great burden as its inevitable price.
And then there was the incredible transformation Heine had somehow brought upon himself, his devotion to teaching at the small unsalaried position in the church, when his talents warranted something much better... his willingness to drop everything in order to come to the palace and tutor the king's sons...
An old conversation came back to Victor from the days before the harvest festival incident. They had talked of the nation and the best ways to ensure its growth, prosperity, and happiness. Victor as an exercise in preparation for his future. Heine perhaps considering it an idle pastime. "Are you planning on becoming king?" he had quipped. Back then, Heine would likely have foreseen a much different future for the two of them. For that matter, so would Victor. If it had not been for the incident with the guards, he could probably have introduced Heine into the royal household, given the orphan a place by his side... What had Heine expected before he found out Victor's true identity? They might have become lifelong friends, grown up together, worked together... Heine had known Victor had some money and perhaps even a title, but that alone would not have prevented them from associating or put friendship out of reach... Victor imagined for a moment being free of the shackles of duty, free to associate with whom he wished. Heine...
They had been separated by such a divide, their rank and social classes so disparate - a fact that Victor had been aware of but Heine had not. Victor felt ashamed of keeping his secret, as if the small redhead were not his friend but some sort of a toy, a pet, who didn't need to know the truth in order to be kept satisfied.
And then that great separation had been brought home to Heine so harshly... Did he make such incredible progress to show he is just as good as me? To repay me for saving him? To again join me at my side? Every one of those reasons made sense, and Victor suddenly understood the bitterness he had seen coming from his old friend. I recognized none of it. I saw my own dream, and nothing else... How selfish could I be?
The crystal wine glass dropped from his hand and shattered on the floor. For me. He did all of it for me. Perhaps even altered himself fundamentally from that moment on... devoting himself to me and my selfish dreams... and never once have I taken the time to understand what he went through, or to properly thank him.
Blinking in confusion at the shards of crystal now surrounding him, the king thought of something else. Something buried so deeply for fear of the damage it could do him, he had almost forgotten it himself. Do I dare to hope that I can fulfill both of my dreams?
*
The following day, Heine was peacefully strolling the corridor during a rare free half-hour between lesson planning and tutoring sessions, when his attention was roused. The small tutor paused after rounding a corner, until the footsteps caught up with him, then stepped back out into the open again. "ahem... Oh, it's you, Your Majesty. Is there something I may do for you?"
The king grinned sheepishly. "I suppose I should have known you'd see right through me."
"Pardon?"
"I was following you..." a pink flush of embarrassment tinged the king's cheeks. "...like old times."
Heine shot a sharp warning glance at the taller man. "If you wish to discuss such things, you may always summon me to your quarters, Your Majesty, but at this time and place it pains me to say that I have no idea what you are talking about."
"Yes, I suppose you're right. Very well - join me in my quarters at the same time tonight as last, if you would be so kind. And until then... " Victor trailed off awkwardly, as he felt around in vain for words to articulate the sentiments he did not want to delay conveying. To tell Heine, somehow, that he had gained a new respect for the small tutor, and felt his own faults severely. "Until then... know that I am waiting," he finished lamely.
Heine favored him with a choice blank stare. "Very well, Sire."
*
In the end, the night passed without any great revelations. They drank tea instead of wine so as to maintain their health, but even without the emotional cushioning of spirits, their friendship sparked and the fire burned just as brightly. King Victor turned the topic from his own grand plans to what Heine had accomplished, what the tutor wished to do next, and what he had experienced in their time apart. The other topics - the raw and painful past which had healed over but not been forgotten - and the thing he did not quite yet dare to hope - seemed best left beneath the surface for now.
With this, the visits became a regular occurrence. Though neither had enough time to escape his duties every single night, Heine would send to the king at least once per week to find out when he would have a few spare hours, and he would make his way to the royal chambers for a night of rare adult company. Victor became happier and happier as this habit developed, and felt that their friendship was renewed again, and perhaps could be continued where it had been so cruelly cut short before. And perhaps... the king angrily shook himself at the worrisome thoughts that plagued him. Stay. His friendship is a precious flower I must cultivate with every ounce of my skill.
*
On one such evening, having made respectable headway into the oversized bottle of cabernet sauvignon that the king had picked from his cellars, the two were deep in discussion of the things close to their hearts. The fire crackled comfortably and seemed to create a small island of warmth away from the cold harsh world, where anything could be said.
"Heine," said the king, eyeing his tutor pensively, "who is the great love of your life?"
For a moment, Heine's cold and direct gaze took on a sadness. "Romantic love is not an option for me, Your Majesty. I have felt it, on occasion, but have directed that energy elsewhere. This body is not conducive to a worthwhile romance, let alone a marriage."
Heine's eyes dipped toward the ruby liquid in his glass for a moment, and he felt guilty for bringing his lonely state out in the open. He should not be burdened with my feelings, he of all people...
Hastily, the small man redirected the topic. "What of you, Sire? Who is your great love? Was it the queen?"
The king smiled wistfully. "I loved her, yes. I remember her fondly still, but she was not my great love. She was more like an elder sister, odd as that sounds. I'll always be grateful for the beautiful sons she bore me." Victor smiled softly at the thought of his sons, and noticed happily the softening in Heine's eyes at his mention of them. He cares for them too... he caressed the knowledge with a gentle warmth, as if handling some precious treasure in his mind.
The king's eyes flicked towards Heine again, then back to the flames. "There is someone I have loved for a long time - since before I was married to the queen. I do not know that I will ever find a way to express my love for that person, but I feel it nonetheless. There can never be another like it."
The two stared into the fire, each aware of the other's loneliness, and each somehow comforted by it.
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