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Reviews for Pleasure Slave

By : Capitalist

From ANON - spaz on April 09, 2007
In my opinion, that was the best one so far! but I think the title is wrong. I think it should be confessions, or something like that mainly because both brother and sister confessed their love. It was great! But that's when Li got caught by Ralen, right? ahhh... now I'm at a loss for words... goodnight!
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From ANON - SAKURA-CHAN on April 08, 2007
I THINK YOU SHOULDA LET SAKURA-CHAN GO OUTSIDE WITH YUE AND TOUYA IT WOULDA BEEN COOL TO SEE HOW YUE AND TOUYA ACT AROUND EACH OTHER WITH SAKURA-CHAN AROUND
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From ANON - Linday on April 07, 2007
I was told about this story by my best friend a few weeks ago and I haven't been able to review it since I'm not a member so thanks for enabling guests to review your story. This chapter has everything I love in a good fanfiction: love, jealousy, angst, power, etc. It's the little things that matter to me. For example Yue holding his hand over his heart to show heartbrokeness after Touya said he feels nothing when they both kiss. Such a simple line was written to describe that moment yet it displayed so many emotions so perfectly. You truly are a talented writer in that respect. I must admit that you have peaked my curiosity with this Clow character. I haven't watched or read the anime or manga so I don't know what relation he is supposed to have with Yue but I suspect he was important no? I supose that doesn't matter since this is an AU fic. Will Yue mumble Clow in his sleep again that night? Touya should realise that Clow must be important if his powerful master is talking about him in his sleep. I think a previous reviewer mentioned that too so Clow must be important. Will Touya take Sakura's words into account and think about his feelings towards Yue? I can imagine that would be a mental struggle: he hasn't had a mental struggle for a while.

Your newest fan
Linday
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From ANON - Spaz on April 07, 2007
OMG!!!!!! I LOVE YOUR WRITTING STYLE!!!!!!!! you make it sooooo easy for me to imagine it all. thank you! your the best!!!!

now please continue and DON'T GIVE UP!!! ^_^
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From ANON - write more soon on April 06, 2007
write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon write more soon
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From ANON - SPaz on April 06, 2007
I love this series you have created! I've been checking the site periodically for the next chapters. Keep up the great work, ok! You can finish this! I know you can!!! ^o^
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From Darkless on April 05, 2007
I'm still reading and it's still awsome!
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From ANON - Brittny on April 05, 2007
I don't agree with Undisclosed. Long prologues can be a good thing, as long as you know how to write them. In Capitalist's case she wrote it well and didn't take forever and a day to get to the point. It was detailed and introduced the concept of Sakura learning how to become a pleasure slave. It built characterisation for both Sakura and Touya. It showed how Sakura becomes the obedient and complacent slave she is today. And it showed Touya's obvious devotion to his sister and how he would do anything for her, which resulted in him becoming a slave. Each chapter was important. At least it wasn't like...ten chapters. :O If you played Kingdom Hearts 2,then you should know the meaning of a long and pointless prologue, it was more of a 3 hour tutorial -_-; I don't think that jumping straight to the point seems right. That's a problem with many fanfictons.

Will Yue finally push his aside his control issues and admit his love for Touya? Does he even realise he is in love yet? And how does Clow enter the plot? It will be good to have some answers soon. '_- That is all I have to say. It's your story. Besides I know that it will still be good either way.
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From ANON - update soon on April 05, 2007
2 weeks is nearly up i hope u update soon cos this story is hot
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From ANON - Hitomi on April 04, 2007
I don't understand what you're saying. you would'nt have cared about Sakura's switch to Het if Capitalist had'nt warned about it? What's the big deal?
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From ANON - Sheng.Long 2007 (a.k.a Undisclosed) on April 04, 2007
Scorp, I agree wholeheartedly with you. Stories do write themselves... but this one didn't. The ships were already written in stone, and I can tell, since they wrote, in black and white, that the early plot was jst that... Plot.
At the bottom of Parts 6 and 8, They declare their intentions.
If I ignored that, I'd be none the wiser, and would enjoy the entire story... but those lines of text that snub Sakura/Tomoyo and show future support of Sakura/Li were NOT needed, and made it hard to swallow.
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From Scorpinac on April 04, 2007
Hitomi, I think the best thing to do about Mr. "Undisclosed", is to ignore him. He clearly has some hangups that keep him from properly enjoying this work. Don't get me wrong, I actually agree to an extent in regards to the Yaoi, as I myself am straight and such things hold no interest for me(whereas with Yuri my reaction tends be "Can I join you, Ladies?"). He also seems not to realize that with this story it is probably for Capitalist like writing my Sailor Moon fic "Roman Legends"(available in full[yeah, it's complete!] at regular ff.net!) was for me - I knew where I generally wanted to go when I started, but as got further in and fleshed out the OCs more and more, before I knew it i wasn't writing the story, the story was writing itself, I was merely the avatar via which the words flowed onto the computer's screen! Well, that's all from for the moment, and until chapter 30! Laters!
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From ANON - Inulover16 on April 03, 2007
Hello!

I first began reading your fic about the time the fifth chapter went up. I did keep reading, but then aff.net HAD to redo its self. That led to a long time of not reading PS. About a week ago, something reminded me of your fic and I thought "AH HELL!" and decided to look and see if I could fine it. Low and behold, I was graced and had the pleasure of reading it again. Anyway, here is what I truly loved about the last chapter. First off the length. Got to LOVE long fics. I love that Touya never yields on telling Yue that he is not his salve. I love that Sakura FINALLY figured out that she love Li. The way in which she went about that was great as well. I believe that many people in the fic including Sakura herself thinks she is not as smart as she really is. For one thing, she stumped her brother with the question involving him loving Yue or not. What I love most about this chapter may not seem like something but to me it was. That was the contrast between the kiss Sakura received from Yue and than Li was great. Going back a few chapters I cannot help remembering the scene in the ran! It was not because they made love, but something about it just made me want to try it with my boyfriend. Thanks for the idea! ^__^ Well that's it for now!

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From ANON - inuyashanut on April 03, 2007
me love dis
pls upate soon
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From ANON - Undisclosed on April 03, 2007
Yes, Hitomi, I was cruel... but the Yuri aspect was what got some people interested in this story.
I'd have been sold 110% on the story as a whole if Capitalist had Melara or some other J. Random Character as her trainer, and kept Tomoyo for much later in the story.
By having Tomoyo as her trainer and those bittersweet moments, My support for this story is not possible. Worse for me is the serious tilt from concentrating on Sakura to concentrating on Touya.
If I treat the first 6 chapters as one story, and the rest as another, I could give both of them top marks.
You don't bring very real feelings into a throwaway part of a story, and expect everyone to like it. I never do something like that, and I'm shocked that a writer who I can tell has some great talent would do such a cardinal sin of teasing people with one of the truest relationships in the series...
I'm not going to disclose my name since I have written yuri fiction which has been bittersweet... and I HATE to see people waste scenes like that.
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