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Reviews for Mountain

By : sasunaruisheart
  • From ANON - i love athrun on January 01, 2006
    IT IS GOOD BUT DO A NEW CHAPTER!
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  • From ANON - Yit-Ha on January 01, 2006
    I luv yout fic!! Poor Goku... Should Hakkai and Gojyo have a lemon scene? Hm.... Well, this is AFF, so I guess the more sex the better, right?
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  • From ShounenSugar on January 01, 2006
    Its really a fun journey!! Just as great as watching the show!! :P
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  • From ANON - Yit-Ha on December 22, 2005
    Aw, poor Goku. Intersting chappie!
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  • From ANON - Ice Angel on December 21, 2005
    nice second chapter! I can't wait for more, but I"ll try to be patient. But still update soon. I can't wait to see what happens next!!

    ~IceAngel~
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  • From ANON - person on December 18, 2005
    This is a totally awesome fic. I love it.
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  • From ANON - fuzzybunnytoo on December 16, 2005
    So? Why did you stop? Get on with it , it is good as far as you got. Get to typing kid!
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  • From ANON - Ice Angel on December 16, 2005
    Oh this sounds really great so far! i'd love to read more. I hope ya update soon again

    ~IceAngel~
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  • From ANON - Julie E. on December 15, 2005
    I like it so far, but I wanted to leave a comment about some minor errors I noticed. You seem to confuse tenses quite a bit. For example:

    He looked at the back to where Goku was slumbering. He was glad that the monkey was asleep. They were at least given a reprieve, albeit temporary.

    All of that is in the past tense, then suddenly, in the same paragraph:

    He dreaded the time when the monkey will wake up and realize their destination.

    In keeping with the general past tense for the paragraph, the "will" should be "would." It's not a major error and certainly not earth-shattering or such, but it is a general error of grammar that detracts a bit from the smooth flow of the narrative.

    So...please do not be offended by this minor criticism, but I wanted to point that out so you would be aware of it in the furture.

    Julie E.


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  • From ANON - Yit-ha on December 15, 2005
    Le Gasp! WHat;s going? Please update soon!
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  • From ANON - Meia on December 15, 2005
    Hey your story sounds interesting and i am dying to see where u take it from here. So update soon.
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  • From ANON - Crimson on December 15, 2005
    I really like this idea, and I can't believe I never wondered about it before. Poor Goku. Stupid Sanzo should speak up and tell him they're just passing through. Having Gojyo holding him down must be freaking him even more. Ooo, I'm so anxious to see where this goes. (wishes aff.net had story alert like ff.net) I'll be patiently looking for your next installment. Well...impatiently, let's be honest. :-)
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  • From ANON - leigh on December 15, 2005
    Hmm, very interesting setup so far... I'm curious as to how you will continue. I am definitely waiting to read the next chapter! Keep going, I bet this could be a wonderful story.
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  • From ANON - faradheia on December 15, 2005
    Intriguing! I'm looking forward to where you'll go with this.
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