Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

Reviews for Elemental Battles

By : SSJ04Mewtwo

From Akewataru on June 19, 2009
I am glad you used this chapter to explain what's going on in the Dragon clan. Yes, I agree with you Lt. Surge would never betray Lance. Nor, would any of the Kanto gym leaders. Out of all the regions the Kanto gym leaders seem to be the most experienced at what they do. By the way, the Drake you are using in this story, is it the Elite Four or Orange Islands Drake? That's all for now, you have have to read the email I sent you. If you think the last review I sent you was long, check out the email. It's is pretty long. Til' next time!
Sincerely,
Akewataru
Report Review
From Akewataru on June 18, 2009
Fine, fine, but only on this site: I plan to make the story pokeshipping in the first arc, but in the second arc during the Pokemon Final Battle, Ash is going to meet Anabel, a seemingly meek quiet girl that decimates her opponents on the battlefield. He is going to fall in love with her over Misty because they come from similiar pasts and can understand one another without a word. I'd tell you more, but I don't want to waste precious review space. Give me your e-mail address so I can e-mail you personally the plot of the story. I want your opinion on it. About Chapter 30: First off, I like the title, what did you have in mind when you came up with it? I like how you brought back the conflict of Clair and Lance's budding relationship. So, Drake is part of the Dragon clan family? How is he related to Clair and Lance? Who was married in the Dragon clan to bring about this conflict? So, has Oak finally decided to side with power, or is he smart enough to have alterior motive? Since Giovanni is Grand Overseer he could next declare that anyone that helps Lance and his forces or does not support the League will be be striped of their privilages as elite four or gym leaders and trainer licences revoked and their Pokemon taken. This move on Giovanni's part probably will cause Lance to lose many of his supporters except for those truly loyal to him and can see the League for what it really is. A question though, do you think all the gym leaders would stay? The Frontier brains probably would because they are not sanctioned by the League. On the flip side, who would leave? In any case, he losed too much support to go after Giovanni, and Giovanni uses those formerly loyal to Lance to betray him and Giovanni and sends his forces after and Lance and his forces and they must flee to Hoenn or Sinnoh. However, it will be a tough decision because Lance's forces were to pull out of Kanto and Johto, the threat that kept Giovanni in check will be gone. This doesn't have to happen immediately, but soon. That's all I have to say, til' next time!
Sincerely,
Akewataru
Report Review
From Akewataru on June 17, 2009
CaseyXMax will be only one of the many pairings in the story with AshX??? pairing I think you'll like but will probably get me flamed by Pokeshippers. So you liked the word I gave you at the end of my last review, eh? I thought of it when Lt. Surge said,"With the numbers against us, we need to use more guerilla tactics. It shall wear down that army until they are forced to pull out." It was a battle tactic most famously seen in WWI, if I'm not mistaken. By the way, excellent choice in making a Gary a multimaster, but I figured you would do that or make him a fire element. Making him a Dark element would make him too similiar to the shadow master and would cause problems with him and Sabrina Now Gary can ward off Paul, and Ash and his mistresses can help with the fight more. Now I'm really excited to see what you do with this story next.
Sincerely,
Akewataru
Report Review
From Akewataru on June 16, 2009
I understand your feelings on pairing for Giovanni. He is a hard one to pair for since there is very little personal information truly known about him. You really have to do your own speculations about him. Now, as for gary's element: Electric (Electivire), Fire(Arcanine), Flying (Dodrio) or Dark (for Umbreon; Sabrina may have to 'careful' if you know what I mean!) for his current pokemon. Out of the four I would have to narrow it down to Dark and Fire. Dark because Umbreon seems to be the closest to gary, however Arcanine too has been seen to be a close companion of Gary's however, it is really up to you. However, but in the anime nowadays he is more of a multielement like Paul. I hope this helps, and as usual...Til' next time!
Sincerely,
Akewataru
P.S: Here's a good battle word for you: Attrition. It pretty much means a fight to wear down your enemy's forces. A 'war of attrition' is how it is commonly used.
Report Review
From Akewataru on June 14, 2009
Sorry about the late review. I wanted to go through the list of character shippings before I posted my review on here. Thank you for answering my questions in the review reply and in the story. Aren't ff.net wonderful with their review reply and story/author alert systems? Is Pallet going to be destroyed like they were planning, forcing the resistance to move to Hoenn or Sinnoh? If so, will we see May, Max and Dawn? Also, just a thought, could Valdrade use her purifying powers on Gary neutralize the drug Professor Oak gave him? That's all, til' next time~
Sincerely,
Akewataru
Report Review
From Akewataru on June 14, 2009
Okay, I'm a little confused, what did Prof. Oak come up with that only works on the Oak family? Also, what about Samuel Oak's wife death, could you elaborate on that? it seem to be a sore subject with Oak. Another thing, in chapter six it seems like that Giovanni doesn't know that Delia is dead, so how could she have gotten killed with Alex trying to bring down his organization without him knowing that she died? Giovanni seems to know that Alex is dead, so how? Just a little problem with continuity, something to think about. I am very interested in the last two developments you made in this chapter. What will happen to Pallet town and will the league successfully draw out the shadow master? How will will Giovanni take total control of the league council? Anyway, til' next time!
~Akewataru~
P.S: Actually I do not think there is a -shipping name for GaryXSabrina as you are probably the first to write such a pairing. I went Bulbapedia's list of the over 6,000 named ships(http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Shipping:List_of_shippers) and I couldn't find it but I did find some weird Sabrina ones like Sabrina paired with Saturn or Dawn or Cynthia(WTF!!!). The closest I could find was Death/Mirageshipping which is AshXSabrina. So, maybe you could go from there. I am surprised that there aren't ship names for some the pairings I plan on doing like GiovanniXHunter J and CaseyXMax. Can you see these happening? Anyway see you later, I hope this info helped you in someway. Maybe you can find the pairing on the list.
Report Review
From Akewataru on June 12, 2009
Oh boy, I can't wait to see the confrontation between the Professor and Gary! Will Gary discover his elemental powers during this fight, or will it be a straight Pokemon battle? Will the league officials strip Professor Oak of his league and professor privileges for failing to capture the Forbidden Masters and their discovery of his freaky (and yet kinky) sexual relationship with a Pokemon? In desperation, will Oak turn to Giovanni for help in restoring his name to its former glory? Actually, I'm surprised Giovanni hasn't gotten his claws into Professor Oak earlier. By the way, in this story what happened to Ash's mother so that Oak had to and could replace her with a ditto without Ash noticing? Anyway, til next time!
Sincerely,
~Akewataru~
Report Review
From Akewataru on May 29, 2009
The League hunters leader does bring up good point of why they would want to contain the Forbidden Masters. However I am sure that is not all the League wishes to do with them, especially not with Giovanni pulling the strings. By the way, I like the new shadow attacks that you created, such as shadow taunt, and the explanations given with them. A Pikachu laughing? That one I had me laughing for while. Anyway, great chapter as always, til' next time!
Sincerely,
~Akewataru~
Report Review
From Akewataru on May 27, 2009
I said there would be more...Dialga, Palkia, and Giratina (the legendary dragon types)
Groudon, Kyogre, and Rayquaza (the super ancients), Entei, Raikou, and Suicune (the legendary cats or dogs) and Zapdos, Articuno, and Moltres (the legendary birds) and that's about it. Forgot the others I mentioned except for Darkrai and Cresselia, and the lake Trio these legendaries are are probably the most important to the game and anime. However, which you choose is entirely up you. I like how you had Cyrus capture Mewtwo behind Giovanni's back, I wonder whether he'll ever find out...Will Mewtwo fight Ash, become his ally or both? Well, til next time!
Sincerely,
~Akewataru~
Report Review
From Akewataru on May 26, 2009
I forgot to ask last time, where did Professor Oak come in all of this? I always thought of him as someone who praises Ash's accomplishments, but wouldn't for a second hesistate to help his grandson get on top. He has always secretly been jealous of Ash and his father Alex (right?), how could a practical nobodies with no social standing become so famous and outshine his family. I think he secretly conspired with the league too. Also, we never found out what became of the ditto who was Ash's 'Mother'. Since the forces are returning to Pallet soon, now is a good a time as any to shed some light on this. Anyway, legendaries...Arceus of course since he created the elements and allowed certain humans to have the power. I am sure he is pissed that Giovanni's scientists made it so that just about anyone could have the power to wield elements. Mew, Mewtwo, Ho-oh and Lugia, these four defintely, some others are Shaymin, Giratina, Darkrai, The Lake Trio (Uxie, Mespirit, Azelf), and Cresselia. I'd use some from each Pokemon generation for starters, I have to go, but I'll add more next time.
Sincerely,
~Akewataru~
Report Review
From Akewataru on May 22, 2009
Oh I wish I could see the look on Giovanni's face when he finds out that the Pokemon League has turned on the shadow, light, impath masters. Although the League did not want her specifically, it would be only be a matter of time before. This may have been the biggest mistake that the League made. Without Ash, Valdrade, and Anabel fighting with them, the League forces will be all too easy to destroy now that Giovanni and Cyrus's forces have teamed up. Ash's strength alone isn't what holds the League force focuses, but his charisma, attitude, and he just has this unearthly way about him that can command the loyalty from people around him (not like like geass of course ^_^). So, what shall our favorite trio do now since they are now dubbed "enemies of the world"? Will they seclude themselves and train or did you have something else in mind for them? I await the update and as always, til' next time!
Sincerely,
~Akewataru~
Report Review
From Akewataru on May 21, 2009
Oh boy I can't wait til' you continue!! You'd better not kill off Giovanni, he's one of the coolest villians and you can write him to be so many ways. I could see Cyrus, Mars, Saturn, Jupiter, and maybe Pluto(scientist) joining up since they seem to be the most organized group, next to Team Rocket. I could definitely see the League using what Ash did at the black pyramid against him saying that he is mentally unstable, and has no regard for friend or foe. Til' next time.
One of your beloved readers,
~Akewataru~
Report Review
From Akewataru on May 18, 2009
Interesting that Lance is making Ash head of his own group once again. Also, who better than the League to put down sanctions. Who would dare defy them? (Except Lance of course) However Giovanni or someone has to be controlling them with holding somebody hostage, blackmail, or something that he can hold over their head if they don't comply. Other than this, i don't have much to say, but good luck running with the idea. Til next time!
Sincerely,
~Akewataru~
Report Review
From Akewataru on May 16, 2009
I think the reason why you are running out of ideas is because in your story there hasn't been an falling action. Everything is coming out too perfect for the heros. Take this for an example: In the second season of the anime Code Geass, the masked hero Zero finally gets discovered for who he really is and everyone who he thought was his ally turns against him and pursue him. However, what is key is that the Black Knights, the army that Zero previously lead, wouldn't have gotten anywhere without him in the first place so he is able to stay one step a ahead them. Just a thought, maybe Giovanni or someone within Pokemon League could raise some doubts about why the shadow and light elements are needed. "They are too powerful compared to the other Pokemon types to exist." Could be a claim. Make Ash, Valdrade, and Anabel public enemy #1. However, keep a few of the League members secretly on his side. Obviously, Lance (cause' he's such a rebel), but who else is up to you. Think about this. Til' next time, because I definitely want to see what you do.
Sincerely
Akewataru
Report Review
From Akewataru on May 14, 2009
Whoa, I did not see that coming for Misty, but good thinking nontheless. Sorry, I misunderstood the question. I guess like I said before, since you are using Paul, you should be using Ash's generation IV Pokemon such as Staraptor, Tortera, Infernape (let's assume he evolved and got control of his blaze to spite Paul. Seems likely, yes?) Floatzel, and Gliscor (I can see s/he becoming more vampiric once merged with shadow). Maybe Bulbasaur if it evolves, did you use Tyrannitar yet? I could see s/he coming back to Ash if her/his mother was killed by Team Rocket. Til' next time!
Sincerely,
Akewataru
Report Review