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Reviews for Elemental Battles

By : SSJ04Mewtwo

From Akewataru on August 27, 2009
Thanks for including that tidbit about Alex and Delia. In 'The Thorn Within' you used him as a chararcter as well, but we never got much of a story on him. Overall, I think you wrapped this quite nicely. However, my story won't end at this level of sanity...Even though Will is undoubtly a coward, I wouldn't go so far as to call him evil. He never really did anything that was truly determental to the resistance. They could have used his and Misty's help in the fights that they lost. For him to think that he could run and live as he pleased while Giovanni was power was foolish on his part. He would have to do alot more than being a fool to earn himself a place in the same category as Team Rocket. I am sad to see this story go since there are very few good Pokemon fanfics that use the charatcers from the anime. Then I would like to see pairings BESIDES pokeshipping. It was cool when Misty was around, but now that she is gone, we must move on. You fulfill that need for me in a big way. Thank you so much Mewtwo! Til next time!
You loyal reader,
Akewataru
P.S: Be sure to private message me through ff.net if and when you write another Pokemon fanfiction.
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From Akewataru on August 05, 2009
Thanks, I needed that. Did Ash go to train in Dark cave? That's what I was thinking. Yeah, it is about that time to bring this story to a close, unless you want to take this story to another region, but even then it would be sort of redundant. How will shadow and light achieve balance? I have one request before you put this story to bed. Could you do a flashback of the lives Alex and Delia, how they met and lives from there up to their deaths? Would seeing this throw Ash off if Giovanni's powers of illusion (he does have this power right?) caused him to see this? I can't think of any other way of how you could insert this into the story, but if you can think of something else I open to see it. However, I really want you to do the flashback. I'm really excited to see how this final battle is going to turn out, and how you are going to conclude this story. Til' next time Mewtwo!!
Sincerely,
Akewataru
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From Akewataru on August 04, 2009
Pryce got exactly what he deserved, the ol' bastard...Now he and everyone that sees him has visual reminder of his cowardice and betrayal. How he became You actually captured Pryce's personally quite well; he apparently doesn't think too highly of women, or anyone else for that matter. His only admirable qualities are that he cares for his Pokemon, as seen when he forfeited the Gym Match with Ash because he didn't want his Pokemon to get hurt, then he also wanted to protect Mohagany. However, whether he wanted to protect the town for his own devices or for the good of the people is anyone's guess. By the way, I liked the plot twist of having Lance and Brandon's group get captured. It was a good balance: Paul was defeated and his shadow powers were taken away, but at the same time the resistance suffered a humiliating loss. I'm curious as to where Ash went to train, but I think I know where. That's all for now, til' next time Mewtwo!
Sincerely,
Akewataru
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From Akewataru on July 28, 2009
Back from Kissimmee, and ready to review! Okay, you got me. I guess there's no hiding it from you. By the way, don't forget about the Whirl Islands and Lugia! It would be a travesty if you didn�t do a chapter including them. Towns and Cities Part Six: Blackthorn City! "A Quiet Mountain Retreat!" As you probably already know, this the hometown to Lance, Clair, and the Dragon Clan. Whether the enitre Clan exists here, my sources doesn't say. You would think so since the Dragon's Den is here. The move deleter is here, who can help your pokemon forget moves, including hidden machine (HM) moves which otherwise cannot be unlearned. The only way of getting into the town is though the ice Path, which I will talk about on the ff.net review. Finally, the Dragon's den is here, another thing I will talk about on ff.net. Later Mewtwo!
Sincerely,
Akewataru
P.S: By the way, I sent you something about the Pokemon World you might find interesting. Be sure to open the attachment. Let me know whether you have any problems opening it. After I read this, I can definitely see why you are sticking to the Kanto/Johto area.

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From Akewataru on July 24, 2009
Greetings from Kissimmee, FL! Since I'm on vacation til' Monday, and computer access is limited, I don't have the time to do Areas of Interest or Towns and Cities til' then. However, I will find a way to review your stories. Thank you for doing that lemons between Paul and Domino, because I mean come on, if the good guys are screwing each other, then WHY aren't the baddies doing the nasty too, possibly in a worse way? They are hormone driven teenagers too. Nice touch having Ho-Oh help out Ash at the last minute, however seeing the way Ash's battle group was handling things, it didn't look like Ho-Oh's help was needed. By the way, you took an intersting spin on Jasmine's gentle personality that I never would have thought of. I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this. Til' next time!
Sincerely,
Akewataru
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Okay so I lied!
Towns and Cities Part Five: Magohany Town, "Welcome to the Home of the Ninja!" It is called this because the hideout that Team Rocket is using in the game used to be ninja hideout. Hmm...Any thoughts on this? It is an otherwise a quiet and relaxed town, which would explain why it is perfect for a Rocket hidout. Pryce is the Ice type trainer that runs the Mahogany town gym. That's about it, so up next will be Blackthorn City, Clair and Lance's home town. Later! This time for real!
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From Akewataru on July 23, 2009
How Domino kicked Paul out of her tent, with cloak open for everyone to see his nakedness had me cracking up so bad. Domino may well be more ruthless than Paul is. I hope you don't feel I forced you into doing this. If so, i'm perfectly happy just reading the other lemons you write into the story. The lemon won't be as good if you, the author don't want to write it, or like what you are writing. I wonder if Ho-Oh will be pissed that Domino destroyed its tower/perch? In the game it hangs out there, but in the anime it doesn't. I wish you would have gone into more detail about how the tower fell. By the way, how does Giovanni know that broadcast is reaching the Orange islands? Does he still have people there? Cianwood: A Port Surrounded By Rough Seas! There is a 500 year old Pharmacy on the island, that you must go to in order to get medicine for the sick Ampharos back in Olivine. Also, Cynthia gives the player a SecretPotion that has been dispensed from this particular Pharmacy to cure a group of Psyduck that are blocking route 210. So this Pharmacy must have some powerful stuff. Aside from that, it sells remedies that are exclusive only to this Pharmacy. So maybe later on one of the characters could become ill or poisoned and this is the only place that the medicine can be bought. Chuck is the Cianwood gym leader and trainers fighting type Pokemon. In Crystal version, you meet Eusine at the northern tip of the island, who just saw Suicune escape, and wants to do battle with you. Eusine is an interesting character that is a walking encyclopedia of pokemon legends. You should really use him in one way or another.
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From Akewataru on July 22, 2009
Wow, you got that chapter out early. What an unexpected, but delightful surprise! Well, I figured since I practically wrote part three of Areas of Interest and Part three of Cities and Towns, you wouldn't miss a review on ff.net. That scene with Paul and Domino in it was HOT! I knew you had it in you. And I mean, c'mon! Those two are so alike its not even funny. I wish you would have left Domino's after thoughts. Did she like being used by Paul, will she go back for more? Is this a one time thing? You didn't make it seem like it. Good question, what is the relationship of Orange Island Drake and Professor Ivy? How will the Radio tower be used now that it has been repaired? Will any legendaries appear in Ecruteak City? Towns and Cities Part Three: Olivine City! The Gym Leader is Jasmine, a strong but gentle Steel type trainer. I get the gentleness because she will not leave the side of a sick Ampharos until it gets better. The Ampharos, named Amphy, illuminates the Glitter Lighthouse, a landmark that Olivine City is famous for. Also, in Olivine city is the S.S. Aqua. that is also an link between Kanto and Johto, and ends its journery in Vermilion City. Lt. Surge might be happy with that. Although, I am surprised that it doesn't go to the Whirl Islands or Cianwood another city with a Pokemon Gym. But I am sure you can fix that. Anyway, there are trainers that will happy to battle you just like on the S.S. Anne. Speaking of it, that was one of best Pokemon episodes that involved Team Rocket. That's all for Olivine City. Next time, Mahogany Town! Til' next time!
Sincerely,
Akewataru
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From Akewataru on July 21, 2009
Does shadow and light have any weaknesses to a particular Pokemon type? Was Ash afraid due to the sheer size of his opponents? By the way, where are the other Elite Four members? Considering how important they are, I would think that they would be heard from more. So, now that Goldenrod has been secured, how will Ash, Drake, Lt. Surge, and Brandon use those resources I mentioned. Cities and Towns Part Three: Ecruteak City. This city called "A Historical City Where the Past Meets the Present". On the tradiitonal side there is the Kimono Dance Theater where Misty made friends with the youngest sister Sakura and her Espeon. All the sisters there train Eevee evolutions excluding Leafeon and Glaceon because they didn't 'exist' at that time. However, by now someone probably would have included them in the show. More importantly, the Burned tower/Brass Tower and the Tin Tower are in Ecruteak city. They were both built to built to foster friendship and hope between Pok�mon and people. The Brass Tower used to be the perch of Lugia, but lightining struck the tower causing a fire that raged for three day killing three Pokemon in the process. Both Ho-oh and Lugia left Ecruteak, but not before Ho-oh brought these three Pokemon back to life as Raikou, Suicune, and Entei. They were left to protect the ruins of the Burned Tower. However, how the hell are they supposed to be protecting the towers if they are running all over creation?! There are four crystal bells that survived the burning of the brass tower and are now at the Tin tower. Also, with the crystal bell you are able to summon Suicune. Finally, Morty a ghost type trainer is the Gym leander here. That's all for now, til next time!
Sincerely,
Akewataru
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From Akewataru on July 20, 2009
Nice lemon at the end of the chapter. Thank you for having Ash create rings for his girls. What inspired you to have Ash and his forces attack Domino's group at night? Even though Ash doubts his leadership abilities, and humbly delegates that Drake should take over Lance's group, the fact is everyone looks up to him, even the old guys. Lance, Lt. Surge, Brandon, and Elite four Drake wouldn't have gotten as far as they did without Ash. However, Ash can't do things by himself either. He's walking on the thin line between maintaining his sanity and going bezerk, but is a capable leader just the same, he just needs the help, support, and guidance of those with experience. Aw, I sense some sexual tension between Paul and Domino. Yeah, I'm just going to keep pushing until you do a lemon with Paul and Domino. Of course, you can choose to ignore my murmuring. By the way, I thought Giovanni ordered Domino not to directly confront the shadow master. Did he give new orders, or did Domino decide to take things into her own hands? Cities and Towns of Johto Part Two: Goldenrod City! Whitney is the gym leader here and trains Normal type pokemon. However, that is not the most important part. This city is like Celadon and Saffron put together. It has the best places to shop, plus Goldenrod has a train station that goes directly to Saffron City and back in no time at all. So, who ever has control of Goldenrod City could potentially have control of both cities. Also, Goldenrod has a huge Radio tower, this could definitely he'll in communications. In FireRed and Leafgreen, there is the move tutor that can teach extremely powerful and useful moves to Pokemon. Maybe you can extend that ability to humans too? The fight for Goldenrod City will be a bloody one with so many resources at stake. Okay, chew on this and I'll see you later.
Sincerely,
Akewataru
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From Akewataru on July 19, 2009
I was wondering what happened to you. Oh, c'mon! Ash couldn't possibly create something that represents his bond with Valdrade and Anabel?! I'll start reading your new Cardcaptors fiction since it is a lot easier to catch up on a fiction that just started than to read one that has been out for a while with several chapters. Oh man, Lance and Clair really got their heads handed to them by Domino. I guess she isn't an Elite Rocket for nothing. Plus, poison can just about affect everyone once it gets inside of you. That's why its called poison. Hmm, now that I think of it, there is a lot of potential for fights in the Johto region. You should really get the gym leaders in the town in on this. Falkner probably should have been in on this fight. There is no way I can possibly cover in one review all the interesting facts about the city you could use, so here I will cover one town and on ff.net I will cover one area of interest, because they also deserve to be covered. I will start with Violet city since you are already there. The Gym leader is Falkner with his flying type Pokemon, and from the episode I saw with him in it, his Flying type Pokemon are really strong, espeically his Pidgeot (its speed and quick attacks were able to give Charizard a hard time) and Dodrio (being able to match Pikachu move for move). Aside from the gym, there is the Spout Tower where sages will do battle with their Bellsprouts and Hoothoots. That's all for Violet city. Next I'll cover Azalea town. There isn't much to say about the town itself, besides that the Gym leader Bugsy, raises and battles with, yep you guessed it, Bug type Pokemon in his Greenhouse. The Ilex (The genus name for Holly) forest is really an area of interest, but I'll mention it anyway. It is most famous for the shrine that supposedly Celebi's home. Other than that, it just another bug type pokemon home, but be careful not to knock the trees, there are sleeping Pokemon in them. That's all for now, til' next time.
P.S.: I forgot to mention, the Ruins are quite close to Violet City. The puzzles in the ruins are of a Kabuto, Ho-oh, Omanyte, and Aerodactyl.
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From Akewataru on July 15, 2009
You going to have to explain further how can more than two elemental masters become married. I didn't quite understand your explaination in the chapter. I can't wait to see how Lance's forces are going to put Giovanni and his people on the run. Are Ash and the gang still at the Indigo Plateau? Was there a gap in time in the chapter? It seemed like Ash went from just recovering to ready to go on the battlefield, all in just in a few lines. That's all for now, til next time!
Sincerely,
Akewataru
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From Akewataru on July 14, 2009
This is the second review: So is it that Ash is beginning to pull himself together and progress from his regression in mental age? I ask because since he was able to converse with Paul on a similiar intellectual level. Then again, some children can do that too. Y'know, I just realized only recently after reading this chapter that Paul wants to get rid of Ash because he thinks he is a danger to this world. That can't be only reason why he wants to eradicate the shadow master from this world, right? It seems ironic that Paul wants to protect the world from allegedly being destroyed by the shadow master's unstable mind. What does Paul have in this world that he wants to protect, aside from himself? Can self-preservation alone be enough to drive Paul to fight like he does? I don't think so. Plus, the like Ash said, the light and empathethic mistresses would hunt him down. Do you think that light mistress might have the same mental instability problem if the shadow master was destroyed? Okay, I'll stop with the psychobabble and allow you to chew on this for a bit. Til' next time.
Sincerely,
Akewataru
There's not too much I can add, since I didn't get previous review this in to you in time for you answer the questions in that one. So, I guess the next reviewer response is going to be huge. See ya'! I'm currently working on the both things at the same time, so I might be a while. Plus, I am taking two classes that are usually fourteen to sixteen weeks, smashed into only six!
Ugh...I need a break...I'm amazed that I can get back to you most of the time. However, like having something to look forward to reading at the start and during the school day. Thank you so much for doing so.
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From Akewataru on July 14, 2009
Sorry again for the late review. I'll make sure leave two of reviews instead of just one for both. This is the first of two. Actually it is neither. I have never written a lemon EVER. So, when I give you the writing sample it will the first time I have attempted to write one. However, I have read quite of few of them, so I think I'm heading in the right direction. However, I just want an outside opinion. To the story: I like how you had the girls make use of the library at the Indigo plateau. I totally forgot that it was there. I also like how you provided a further explaination of why the shadow master now needs two girls to balance his psyche. Will the girls have kids with Ash at the end of the story (whenever that is...)? Those were some high stakes for Sabrina, however will Will still keep his position or will Sabrina replace him? The stipulations weren't so clear for him. What did you mean in the sentence, "...and to Wil's horror, Sabrina leaves her body"? Okay, I'll stop here and work on the next one.
Sincerely,
Akewataru
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From Akewataru on July 12, 2009
By the way, do you wait on me to review you before you post the next chapter? Anabel and Valdrade both halves of a whole angel, that could be a possibility. They should also have the ability to fuse together to form one powerful angel equal in strength to the shadow master's demon form. They'll need to do this when Giovanni attacks again with Ash out of comission. The desciption of Valdrade you gave could also apply to Anabel too. That's all I have to say for now til next time.
Sincerely,
Akewataru
P.S: Okay, if you're going to help me write lemon, I guess I should give you a writing sample. The summaries I write aren't really my writing at its best, because I am trying very hard not to put dialogue or be very descriptive in it although I think I fail to do that very well.
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From Akewataru on July 11, 2009
Sorry again about reviewing so late. Of course I love your lemons, they are some of the more intense ones I've ever read (you must teach me of your ways master). I'm not sure there is such a thing as too much anal, but when it occurs in writing, it does rarely occurs by itself. It is done with the other two forms of sex. Of course Giovanni won't be destroyed so soon. If he did, then the story would end, and then what would I read? I think this really the first time I've seen Valdrade make the decisive attack that ends the battle. Usually it is Ash, Lance, Giovanni or someone in his camp. The title of the chapter fits, however it was more of a bittersweet victory. One of Lance's most powerful battlers is out of commission, and is going to be for a long time. I think it is time for Ash's Pokemon to help him recover. He did capture Mewtwo and made him a shadow Pokemon right? Since Giovanni Mewtwo-like powers, should a Mewtwo be able to reverse it? Valdrade's evolution...Well, since Ash evolved into a demon, shouldn't her's be an angelic creature? However, should the angel be innocent not wanting to inflict harm, or should she be a angel that is fiercely protective even vengeful of those who would seek to harm her shadow master? Think about it, I'll be waiting!
Sincerely,
Akewataru

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