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Reviews for The first time

By : ankfanforever

From ANON - jishe on July 19, 2009
Hi you...my review just erased...TT-TT
Let me remember whta i wrote.
Ok, i was suspecting of the "robot" (i am suspectig) because he is SO nice and almost a "gentleman"; ok, taking in care if he was trully a robot he would see the point in hurting riki, i mean, what for?!!! Being smarter and that but...i don't know, he is just to weird.
The other thing: Iason and Riki deserve each other TOTALLY!!! They are both really stupid and well...they just do (i can believe that at this time of the year, riki it's still think his feelings for Iason...come on!!!)
Raoul suffering for Guy...my poor baby, come to my arms!!!! XD
And even Daryl...i'm suffering for him more that for the idiotic couple...(i'm pretty upset, it's to obvious...)
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From barrie18 on July 19, 2009
What can I say. . . I'm sitting here puzzling over this 'robot' trying to work out who or what it is and if this is a red herring to throw us off track, or will play a major role as the story continues.

Two ideas played in my mind, either Katze (who has been strangely unseen for a long time) for some unfathomable reason has set someone up to protect Riki, until Iason gets his brain back in order or. . .

This is the last remnant of the Rebels, who have come out of hiding in order to get Riki out of there. After all something could have slipped somewhere about Riki's DNA.

Riki was perfect in this chapter, heartsore, but still strong in himself. Now that he is beginning to realize his feelings toward Iason, would he have the courage to seek him out if he ever got out of there. Would he have the courage to face him and say those words, with pride and strength ready to face whatever Iason would throw at him at that moment?

As to Raoul & Guy, once more a touching convoluted moment. Nothing more can be said about them for now.

But as to Iason & Raoul. . .the 'thug' has been broken. And he's broken more than Riki ever was. Since at this moment he can't accept what his 'feelings' he can't move beyond them and start to think of a solution. And of course there has to be a solution. . .surely he can go outside regular channels. Jupiter doesn't necessarily know that Katze, who is head of the Black Market(just going by canon here) has the secret backing of his old master....perhaps even Raoul doesn't know about this connection.

But I do feel at this juncture, that Raoul has thrown Iason a bone. . .

We�ll think about something, we�re the smartest, aren�t we?

Nice thing to say, but I don't think he believes it himself.

I think he would be too hurt himself at this point to truly think logically.
He already said earlier there is nothing they can do, so he would be sitting there hoping that Guy doesn't get himself killed in his attempt.

There are many potential ways this story can still go, especially now. Can't wait to see what road you choose.

Till the next chapter :)

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From LadyIkari on July 18, 2009
Yay! I am not depressed anymore! I can feel a good fight scene coming up!! Am I right? Can't wait until the next update!!!
On anther note, I haven't found a place the read the novel online or it is still in Japanese. I want to read it. So if you know a place where i can read the novel or the manga online, email me! Please! And goes for anyone else who reads this review!! My email address is pharaohsdancer@yahoo.com

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From ANON - jishe on July 18, 2009
Ok...what to say? I�m just sad because all the stuff it's going on: Raoul an Guy preparing to say good bye, Iason sufferin alone in his house (i guess) and Riki chaining to a wall for his 1 client of, i'm sure, thousands of them; after all it's really true what the man who buy him said.
I don't know...i have this tinny-little hope that Iason star to use that amazing brain of him and go to rescue him...maybe he is the client...he is? he is? he is? XD
He isn't right= But hei!!! The last you shoul gave up, it's hope...
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From ANON - jishe on July 18, 2009
T-T Well...you really make me cry this time (next one, i suggest you to say: "I hope i meke you crey" and then it will not happen). I suffer for both of them: Riki because until now he get the idea that he loves Iaso (althrough it was his subconcient that speak the truth) and iason because well...it's Iason...
I hope Mimea end all fat and ugly that b&%$!!!
And Raoul...what happen with Guy?
There's another chapter so i just jump to it!!!
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From barrie18 on July 18, 2009
Damn, you actually had me close to tears in this chapter. The scene between Raoul and Guy was absolutely heartbreaking.. Even though Guy says he loves Raoul, I'm still not convinced. As I've said before there is 'love' and 'in love' and I believe that Guy 'loves' Raoul but is still 'in love' with Riki. Yes, he is being the 'good' friend' going in to save Riki like that, but I tend to agree with Raoul's first thought on it, that Guy loves Riki that much that he would die for him. It would be interesting/heartbreaking to see who he would save if he had to choose between Riki or Raoul.

And amongest all this chaos.. .where the hell is Iason? What rock has he crawled under and is about to crawl out from. Because even though I know I said he 'logically' can't do anything, illogically he really should be doing something at this stage, even if it is ripping his long blonde hair out of his head. I can't believe he is just going to be the cold logical ice man that started off in this story.

As to Riki, I have to admit I'm a bit mixed about him at the moment. I don't want him broken, after all he is Riki the Dark, Leader of Bison, full of piss and vinegar. But even though I don't want him broken, I also want him missing Iason and realizing what he threw away.

I'm hoping who ever this 'patron' is who payed for Riki is not a true patron, but part of a setup to get him out of there. Trite I know, but as I said, I don't want him defeated, down and out, I want him to somehow get out of there. . and try to think of a way to get Iason to forgive him.

Now just because that is what I want doesn't mean that you do, so just go with where ever your imagination takes you : ) and let me happily ramble .

I'll be curious to see where you go with Dana Bahn. It almost seems to have a personality of its own at times.

As I said a great heartbreaking chapter. . hope to see more soon :)

.

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From LadyIkari on July 18, 2009
Great chapter! After I read your last chapter, I found the translation of Dark Erogenous and read it. I understand the story of AnK more now, but why must you make Iason such a bastard? I wanted to cry when he punished Riki. What I am saying? The last three chapters made want to cry, but I didn't. (mostly because i didn't want my friends looking at oddly) Anyway, great plot!! Please, I am begging you please, get Iason and Riki back together. If not, I will definitely be seriously depressed. (trust me, i am no fun when depressed.) Don't let it end like the anime!!!

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From ANON - Amber on July 17, 2009
OMG nononono! iason can't sell riki! aaaaaaaaaaa!!!
Keep writing! rite ya butt off!!!i need more!
Also so thannk you fo continueing to write this fic it oneof favs
Thank you!!!!
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From barrie18 on July 17, 2009
Well, you've gone into uncharted waters now. . . so Riki is off to a brothel and Iason, well, he's certainly lost it now hasn't he. . . .

I love the way you slightly altered the story line here, so that it is similar to what takes place in canon, but is still unique in its own way and gives an entirely different feeling to the piece.

But now you've got to work through another part of this puzzle. How do you get Riki and Iason back together. Iason can't just go and fetch him from the brothel for a variety of reasons.
1. Jupiter

2. Everyone would know he went to get Riki back and he would lose status as leader by doing so.

3. By going back and getting Riki, he is admitting to Riki that he needs him.

Now, number 3 might actually be a good thing, but reasons 1 & 2 are not.

So does someone else go and 'fetch' Riki? and put him somewhere safe. Somewhere, where Jupiter can't find him?

And that someone wouldn't be Raoul, he has enough problems trying to find a way to keep his own mongrel safe.

And even though we haven't seen anything of Guy lately, surely he must have heard something about what has been happening to Riki. How is he reacting to all of this?

As to Dana Bahn. . .well as I said, the story here has enough similarities to the canon, but still manages to diverge in different directions so it is its own tale. I would expect that somewhere along the lines Dana Bahn would play a part in this, but not necessarily its traditional role. . .:)

Waiting to see what happens next :)

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From KotoriSensei on July 16, 2009
Hello there...well, what can i say about this chapter except it was espected? Right now i'm just thinking: "OMG, poor riki, what a suffering"...but he deserve it!!! Now cry and beg for Iason to pity on him... T-T Poor Iason, he is so sad (even if he doesn't know it...XD ). And jupiter...crazy machine...well not crazy, more like...i don't know arrogant, haughty...
I've never like her, but well, even i have to thank her for creating such gorgeous creatures like Iason and Raoul (my cute one). And talking about him...he is a�lready thinking of realising Guy for his safety...BUT I'LL PREFER DIE THAN LETTING THEM APART US!!! Jajajaja
Keep on going, this is REALLY GOOD!!!
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From barrie18 on July 16, 2009
Well as long as I'm not driving you crazy:)

Riki at the moment is a mass of contradictions. On one hand his attitude toward Iason is changing, perhaps he is in denial about how he feels, and yet, later on he "thought he loved Mimea, yet he had to let her go."

Before I continue with Riki, lets get to Iason. He has been betrayed. . .by a pet. But we know this is more than a pet, and that this rage is pure jealousy, not a matter of ownership. Even though his actions are harsh and his words even more so, he is broken, and this is the only way for him to handle the situation. At this moment, there is no possibility of forgiveness, until he can bring him self to hear Riki's words "Because I wanted to be free" and even then can he bring himself to understand what that concept would mean to Riki. And that when this first started this was a form of rebellion, pure and simple.

But what is it now? (going back to Riki) What started off as simple rebellion on Riki's part, has it now become more, or is Riki just entranced with having had a woman. . a very rare experience for a man to have on Amoi.

He realizes that Iason is jealous, and he realizes he has lost something. But does he realize what that loss actually is? Is he just seeing that he has lost his master's favour or he has lost his lover's heart. Is it fear of what will now happen to him or knowledge that he has hurt Iason beyond reason that makes him cry out?

On a side issue. . .what will Raoul do? Will he tell Guy the truth about Jupiters command, or will he just push him away. Tell him he is bored with him and get rid of him so this way Guy won't insist on staying.

And would this push Guy to find out what has happened to Riki?
Once again, do all roads lead to Dana Bahn?

Eye opening chapter. . . WOW. . . to put it plainly. .. XD

looking forward to the next update
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From ANON - jishe on July 14, 2009
Riki it's just and idiot!!! How he DARE to cheat on Iason...i know maybe he doesn't feel complete as a man in his sexual relationship with Iason but, if everything it's getting better why not ask him on leting take him? Bu NOOOOO he has to go and sleep with that HORE!!! OMG i hate her!!! What an bitch!!!! (sorry the bad languaje, i'm just so angry with both of them)...T_T Poor Iason...well, more like poor Riki when Iason finds out... I think i'm gona enjoy that...maybe a litle. At the end i'm sure i'm gona cry and all that stuff, but when Iason finds out, i'm gona be SOOOO happy...
Althroug...the thing that happen in Raoul lab, that aparently "someone" (Jupiter, i bet my GUTS) copy the information he obtain for Riki, and just the same day that "woman" aproches him to say "you are beautifull"...? Very suspicious...
Guy..well, he is still in love with Riki but...sure Raoul will conquer him totally at the end...he is just to good for been real...
See you on the next chapter, this is great!!!

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From barrie18 on July 14, 2009
Glad I'm not driving you too crazy with my reviews :)

But to continue. . . in a very simple sentence I think many would have skimmed over. . . .files are being copied to a different location. So it seems that Jupiter is about to have a hand in the story and I can't see her being impressed that Riki has perfect DNA. Personally I think it would put him on her hit list ::evil laugh::

Now as to Mimea, well Riki might think she has a bird brain, but after this chapter we can see where Riki kept his brains. . . because she certainly got what she wanted out of him. . . .And the point is Riki at this stage still thinks of Iason as his Master, and perhaps a sex partner, but is not in love with him. Sex does not mean you are in love. . . I would like to think that Riki was easily seduced by Mimea because she is a rarity. . .a female, and in this case he is the seme. . .

On the other hand when Iason finds out, his jealousy is going to be out of bounds. . . . and perhaps this will play into Jupiters scheme, because I can't believe she is sitting there watching her favorite son having a mongrel pet and not grinding down her gears.

Guy seems to be very convoluted. As I've said, he is attracted to Raoul, but in love with Riki. And if Riki called him to his side, he would run to him.

So you've got all the players in place at the moment, it all depends on where you take them now. I can't see the year of freedom as in the book occurring, but I can see Iason losing the plot over Riki's actions and going after him. Guy finding out and taking action to protect his ex pairing partner, and all roads lead to Dana Bahn. . .. ::evil grin::

next chapter soon?
Here's hoping
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From alma on July 13, 2009
Wow, Awesome story!!
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From KotoriSensei on July 12, 2009
Hi!!!! What an amazing chapter!!! definitively, i love Raoul...at least in your fic...He is soo SWEAT!!! >///
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