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Reviews for Moxibustion Revenge

By : Origami

From porphyra on November 02, 2019
A shame the last rapist, Hikaru, got off with just a beating. Ranma should have castrated him, as Ranma himself said, he was just as bad as the others, just in a different way.

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From ANON - Geral on November 22, 2014
I Love so much, i am read Moxibution Violation, and i end whit the bad flavor in my mouth, but this is crear, but Now i am really hate Akane is a silly slut, but You are wonderful, Thanks
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From ANON - Bbnovoa on October 10, 2014
Boy. thank you, thank you, I love rape fics too, but the MR make me sick, I read several in between chapters as well as the last one, hoping for Ranma and Akanes revenge and got empty handed, and I can not thank you enough for doing this, I really need to get out of my system those frustrating feelings
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From ANON - Pariah on January 22, 2013
I didn't equate "disapproval" to "objection". You can disapprove of something without objecting to it. Why else would he refuse to read it?

But I suggest you look back at that entry and then check the comments. H. Saotome: "Ah well, if that's true, then that's the real reason I would object. If someone is going to write a derivative work of mine, I'd at least like it to be a half decent story."

Which brings me back to my original point: try compare and contrasting your story with his and then tell me what you see. Whether English is your first language or not, it's clear you were just eager to regurgitate the idea before even considering the amount of effort you should put into its execution. Enjoyment may be subjective, but quality can be measured. And no amount of positive reviews will change that. Just ask Marissa Tomei after she won an Oscar.

Seriously, there is no one or few particular things about this story that I can concentrate my criticism upon. It's ALL problematic. And this sloppy execution is rooted to your motivation to write it: you want an outcome that you desire and not necessarily an outcome that's appropriate with regards to the actual story. You can't write decently while operating on such motives.

Now I'm not usually so blunt or general in pointing out a story's deficiencies that I'd use non-constructive language like "trash", but if you're actually trying to base your composition off someone else's work without having a complete grasp on his or her style and/or goal, then you left the door open for it.
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From Origami on January 22, 2013
I already placed so many "updates" on the story itself i decided to play this one on the review section, and be done with it; especially because this update its gonna be pretty long
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@ibskib: Glad you liked it =) Your reasons to like it are similar to my reasons in writing it, apparently. As for your notes on the fic story itself.... well, as for the last rapist, i guess you mean the teacher, he did not just got "crashed" in the car and be done with it. One of the themes of the fic was its being written in 4 different point of views and the last one, Hikaru's, could not know the details of the last death. As i already wrote in my updates, be sure that all other involved in this story, both the doctors outside of Hikaru's section that the teacher, died very gruesomly =) As for the distant couisin.... well, i dont perfectly remember what i tought at the time, but i think there was a part in MV original fic where Ryoga dealt with the problem... or maybe he just treathened their group to just delete the images. Anyway, it either was not a problem or i just forgot about it :P

@pariah: i was quite worried when reading your review.... until checking h.satome blog for myself, thats it. He does not "disapprove" on the very principle my story, for what i could read between the lines he does not really care but will not read my fic as to not get influenced in his alrady prepared plans for the fic. Just to solve this diatribe here and now, here is another unauthorized citations of his writings, and again i dont think he cares -.-
"Sunday, September 30, 2012
Revenge
So, it's been seven months since I last posted in this blog, aside from replies to comments. How time flies.

Several people have written to me to warn me about Origami's story Moxibustion Revenge, starting with Origami himself. I haven't read it. I don't intend to read it. Clearly any other person's ideas will deviate from my own plans for the story, even if it wasn't obvious from his summary, and all questions of merit (or lack thereof) aside I wouldn't want the presence of his plot within my brain acting in the nature of static when thinking over my own plans.

Yes, I still have plans for MV. No, I don't know when I'll get back to writing it. Let's just keep our fingers crossed that my heart and other major organs will keep functioning until I do.

On the question of whether I object to someone writing a story based on mine, the answer is no. (Though naturally I'd prefer that anything of the sort be well written � about which I can't comment for M. Revenge since I haven't read it.) Frankly, I feel that any such objection on my part would be utter hypocrisy. After all, I've borrowed another author's characters, settings, etc. to write my story. Who am I to say that someone can't do the same with what I've written?

I will say that if I ever complete MV according to my plans, then Ranma and Akane will escape from the clutches of their abusers, and several deserving people will get their just desserts. But, again according to the outline I was following, a number of other things were going to happen between now and then.
Posted by H.Saotome at 10:33 PM 2 comments:
Labels: derivative works, Moxibustion Violation"

So, thats it for that problem. Many thanks for h.saotome for being so understanding and for conferming that i DID warn him and he choose not to answer. In the comments of that blog entry one even slanted my fic and his answer "If that is true...." just raised my respect for a guy by a notch, since he obviously prefere to be sure of all the facts involved before writing an opinion. Kudos to him, i guess. As for my story being trash..... i dont agree. I respect your right to have an opinion, but i think its your opinion itself to be trash. While it was my 1st work, and while my reasons (as i outlined myself extensively) are based on my desire for a happy ending, i dont think i deserve such an harsh review, especially since its (yours) basic motivation looked dangerously like "i dont approve a fic based on a fic, so i'll just destroy it in the comments". OF COURSE my fic does not reflect the goals or the style of h.saotome fic: he wrote a very long, very deep, angst-based story while i was aiming for a fast, happy resolution of the plot. I DID try to keep the story and characters in line with h.saotom fic, obviously, and i am interested in knowing exactly where i messed up if i did. Is my Ranma different in development from what he was in ch.29 of MV? Is Akane too weak, depressed, or too fast recovered considering what she is on MV? I would be interested in knowing that, and countering to it if the point was raised. Are there points, like the cousin in kobe or the doctors, that i forgot or did not clearly solved? I am interested in knowing all this because i tried to stay in line, exactly as i tried to keep it clean or english grammatical mistakes, or as i tried to �revent it from turning into one long monologue by using my "4 different povs" approach (i am a bit sad that noone commented on it... sigh. i tough it was a nice idea at the time!). Anyway, reviews on those point, even when negative, are respected. Right under that, a simple "i like it - i dont like it" its more than ok. Everything else.... well, obviously i do care since i just spent 20min answering it, but i think its just an unfair review. Someone would probably point that with the way internet goes i should just grow a pair and ignore criticism, but ehi, i felt like writing it and whoever arrived until here obviously felt like reading it. The whole point of fanfiction in general i guess, be it based on mangaka works or other fanfic writers =)
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From ANON - Pariah on January 21, 2013
Tuatara said: "I have trouble imagining that H. Saotome would have a problem with this story."

I don't want to play a game of telephone, but he already said that he disapproves of the very principle behind this story's existence on his "Nerima After Dark" blog and has, therefore, refused to give it the time of day.
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From ANON - pariah on January 21, 2013
I am rather late to this party, but I'm on vaction and back in writing mode right now. For the first time in a while, I have a chance to visit this section. So while I sincerely doubt any of the relevant antecedents of this discussion will see this, I still feel the need to write it out anyway.

To put it bluntly, this story is trash. Every avenue and facet of its being and development is hampered by terrible writing ability and bias intentions. It doesn't even attempt to emulate the feel, style, or literary goals of the fiction upon which its based. This story has nothing to do with complementing H. Saotome's work and everything to do with making the author feel better about the fate's of the main characters. Not once did he ever think to consider whether or not his prerogative or desired outcome was at least consonant to the feel or intent of the story. "Tacky" doesn't even begin to cover it.

Let's not kid ourselves about this shall we: If Moxibustion Violation wasn't so well written, no one would even bother talking about it much less make fiction based on it. But since it's so comprehensive, structured, and carefully characterized, you've decided that the premise is too discomforting for you to allow the story to stand on its own merits. And so you feel compelled to rewrite everything about it to compensate for this internal paradox.

This strikes me as more than a little two-faced since you're rearranging the very anatomy of the story you've claimed to have appreciation and affection for. If such a claim were true, then why on earth would you change it? Perhaps if you wrote a tail that were parallel to, or an extension of, the story that didn't mess with the decorum, you'd have more credibility. This however, is a full blown overhaul of the original story's purpose and the ideas put forth within it.

That kind of retardation is the exact reason I stopped reading DC Comics.

Tuatara's adamant defense of this fic addresses a lot of criticisms against it that were never made, but his rant is encompassed, overall, by a straw man that attempts to say that the detractors are somehow saying that he had no right to make this fic. But questioning the propriety and competence of the story is not tantamount to claiming that he doesn't have the right to compose whatever he wants.

Speaking for myself, whenever I write a piece of fanfiction, I make every effort to capture the proper feel and characterization that was established by the source material. Then, as carefully as possible, I try to move the story and character growth in a fashion that's stylistically similar to the original show/book/movie.
And I would NEVER try and write a story (that wasn't meant as a parody) that was designed to reverse the message of the media which it happens to be based on. H. Saotome has avoided this common fanfiction trapping quite aptly with his stories.

This story, on the other hand, didn't even try referring back to H. Saotome's approach. In fact, it was designed specifically to contradict that approach and negate the story progress. He clearly writes with an agenda that opposes the idea behind Moxibustion Violation--as does Tuatara for that matter. All of the Ranma fanfiction (or any fanfiction for that matter) that employs a negative strategy tend to be among the worst written. As such, I'm sure Takahashi would appreciate some more than others--if at all.

I don't want to play a game of telephone, but he already said that he disapproves of the very principle behind this story's existence on his "Nerima After Dark" blog and has, therefore, refused to give it the time of day.

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From porphyra on January 17, 2013
Awesome seeing this, the incomplete ending of the original fic left me pretty frustrated, that they wouldn't get their revenge.
I partly agree about Moxibustion Violation, it truly feels like a violation. I think the main problem for me was the fact that it was the victim's POV. I prefer my main characters to be the ones in control, the fact that Akane becomes a slut feels like an even worse violation to me.
That is why I feel like the last rapist got of too easy, they should have at least castrated him or something, so that he wouldn't enjoy sex ever again.

On another note, what about that cousin in Kobe that had spare pictures for blackmail, one of their greatest fears is for it to get out, so would'nt they have to do something about that threat?

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From ANON - WootMannen on September 23, 2012
Moxibustion Violation is creepy as hell, but it is well written and the lemon scenes are masterful. And this? It doesn't even come close in terms of quality... BUT! But I will admit, I liked the idea of Ranma and Akane breaking free and taking their revenge, and I'm... pleased, I guess I should say, that someone wrote an alternate path it happens. It needs some work, though. The formatting is substandard and features walls of text that most certainly doesn't make for an enjoyable read, and the characters aren't very in-character, canonically or Moxibustion Violation-wise.

But for what appears to be your first fic (on this website anyways), it isn't too bad. I've seen worse.
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From ANON - tuatara on August 17, 2012
Sorry, I shouldn't have used the phrase "you people." That just makes things more contentious. But I was pretty upset at that moment.

Let me try one more time. There is no fanfiction without recontextualization. It's at the core of the artform. But "a fanfic of a fanfic" is far less contreoversial than taking a urinal someone else created, putting your name on it and placing it in a museum as art. And I don't have a problem with *that* either. (I mean, that was done almost a century ago!)

If someone took one of the fanfics I've written and created a derivative work that directly challenged some element of my story, I probably wouldn't enjoy that work too much. But I also wouldn't even *think* of saying there was anything wrong with them doing that. Because there *wouldn't be*. There's no basic moral difference between writing a derivative work for no profit and writing a derivative work of a derivative work for no profit, regardless of the reasons for which either derivative work was written.
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From ANON - tuatara on August 17, 2012
That should read "for the explicit purpose of having canon events negated." As much hemming and hawing as y'all might want to do, this is fundamentally no different than that. You can say it's a *poor story*, and that's completely fine. Though I would disagree with that, as well, as I find this considerably more well conceived and expressed than the great majority of stories on this site.
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From ANON - tuatara on August 17, 2012
What do you people not get? Works of art bave been created in direct response to one another for as long as we've been creating anything. And people write fanfiction all the damn time for the explicit purpose of having things

Did the author of this piece condemn H. Saotome for his story in any way? Not at all. Nor did he condemn any of you for reading MV and liking it. Therefore, where do any of you get off condemning *him* for writing his own take? And how is it any more "tacky and inappropriate" than the original story's negation of canon? How is it any more tacky and inappropriate than the hundreds of Ranma stories that exist expressly for the purpose of tearing down one or another character? You think Takahashi appreciates that stuff at all?

Actually, I think she probably does, in the same sense that I have trouble imagining that H. Saotome would have a problem with this story. She may not *like* any of these derivative works (and I don't mean "derivative" in a negative sense), but I believe that she still must appreciate the effort people put into these stories regardless of how they reshape her original work. As long as one isn't profiting from their efforts without permission, only the most inward-focused authors have a serious problem with stuff like this.

So come on now. Stop taking this story personally. Just because you may love Moxibustion Violation's slog through the absolute pits of human suffering doesn't mean there's anything wrong with this story taking a diametrically opposed view of the subject. Both are free to exist. The author did nothing wrong in writing this.
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From ANON - no on August 16, 2012
"Appreciating the desire" is hardly an affirmation of writing a piece of fanfiction based on yet another piece of fanfiction for the sole purpose of negating its content.

You are advocating posting a story the existence of which completely defeats the purpose of the one it's commenting on. And you do so solely on the virtue that you've told H.Saotome how much his story disturbed you--or rather, how much the reviews disturbed you. Nothing about that arrangement sounds odd to you.

"Sensitive look" is not the phrase I'd use to describe this. It's a total rewrite of the original story and its intentions.

Tacky and inappropriate is a very accurate description.
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From ANON - tuatara on August 15, 2012
As someone who has spoken with H. Saotome in the past about how upsetting I found his story, I think he understands that some people are going to react quite negatively to it. And that's because it really is incredibly disturbing stuff. So I totally appreciate the desire to write something like this.

Now, I don't support murder any more than I do rape. And revenge is not something I approve of, even in this type of situation. But I do understand why Ranma and Akane would resort to that, even if I think it's wrong.

I do wish there had been more of an epilogue to show what kind of life Ranma and especially Akane had after it was all over. However, thanks for making the effort. This isn't tacky or inappropriate. It's clearly a rather sensitive look at a harrowing story. It could be better, but this was a respectable poece of work.
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From ANON - Sid on August 07, 2012
Did you even tell H. Saotome that you were planning to do this? Sorry not a fan of this story, I happen to love his and I'm a 41 year old female. His work is rape fantasy and he's excellent at it.

Sorry I'm sure you have talent, but should have written a disclaimer to him at least or mentioned him by name.

I have to agree with your other reviewer, this is just plain tacky.
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