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Reviews for Conflicting Perceptions --- Conflicting Realties

By : cupnjava

From ANON - Anon on September 20, 2005
...wow, very disturbing, really i justed wanted to smack sanzo. but very well done. i'm glad u posted it cause it's a great character study. Hakkai's thoughts at the end were probably the most disturbing though, that he'd just pretened it never happened and leet them rape him again. it's very hakkai-esque though.
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From ANON - Lucamin on August 13, 2005
I -will- say I enjoyed reading it. BUT only the way you wrote it so well. It's amazing how perception can change anything and everything and how twisted one can unknowingly get.
Although it was disturbing, it was cleverly written and honestly, it's a real, for lack of a *better* word, interesting. Very, oh I can't describe it...
Just twisted, in a moving way.
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From ANON - Iron Dog on July 02, 2005
I like stuff that makes you think. I believe the warnings were appropriate for the gentler reader. Does this make me an absolutely horrid person to say that I've read worse and not been disturbed? I liked this fic. I felt sorry for Goyjo 'cause he was only trying to do the right thing for a friend but ends up doing the wrong thing without being aware of it. Sanzo was his usual self. 95% prick, 5% human. He was actually trying to a good thing but again, the road to hell..... Hakkai. Well he sure got the shitty end of the stick didn't he? Grief and how people deal with it is a very unique thing and there is no set period of mourning. Guilt is an even bigger issue and rarely leaves you. Even though the boys ment well, it just keeps piling the guilt onto Hakkai. Perception is everything and everyon in this fic has a skewed view on what happens. Well done.
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From ANON - fleeting-spell on March 18, 2005
Conflicting realities it is!
I'm not in favor on the 'rape' scenario which yours was totally one. However, I will say this, it is my very first reading in this genre and was surprised to find it interesting.
After reading the fic I thought 'Why doesn't this guy just kill himself if he so miserable'. Sorry I know it's besides your point but it's the feeling I got from reading this. Anyhow, it's just my personal opinion on this specific story so hope I didn't offend any Hakkai fans, I like the guy though he's not my favorite character from Saiyuki.
I don't sympathize with Hakkai's character intake in this story but I don't believe he's deserving of such assault from the other two either. Hakkai dwells in between the realms of life and death, too afraid to die yet not wanting to trully live. He believes that not only should his soul suffer the gods' wrath for his two crimes of failing to save Kanan and having killed many lives but he also believes that he's deserving of the molestation done to his mortal flesh. Some may say otherwise but it's rather cowardice of him to stay as he is, at least that's what I think. Anyways great job though, you're very talented. And loved the mention of different point of views on reality...it really does related to people in general.
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From ANON - ClosetPerv on March 02, 2005
Wow. I can understand the warnings... I mean, I'm a masochist and it creeped me out. -shivers-

But I think you did an amazing job with the different points of view, characterization and the like. (And anyone who mentions Descartes in a fanfic is my hero forever.) Er... *insert constructive criticism here so the review isn't just "omg yey coolz"*
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From ANON - Suicidal Skies on February 14, 2005
This is lovely, angst filled piece of delightful heaven.

o.o I know for a fact that I lack your talent, and damn proud too. Because your writting in this piece really shines.

*__*

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From ANON - Beysie on January 22, 2005
Wow... this was rather disturbing, and shocking! Yet, some of it does seem to fit... although Sanzo does seem to be a bit OOC here, but considering the act... understandable. The fact that they had convinced themselves they were helping Hakkai... Just goes to show just how fractured all the characters really are in the story. All three are very emotionally fractured, thanks to their past lives... Goku doesn't count of course because of his pure innocence by being left alone for so long in that cave. The jury is still out on whether I did enjoy this fic, but it was very well written and that impresses me greatly. One question... what possessed you to write something like this, especially if you didn't enjoy it?

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From ANON - Kikvws on January 06, 2005
Oooooooh! That was really good! I can't believe Sanzo and Gojyo keep doing that to Hakkai, but the perspective makes sense! Luvd it! The only thing that doesn't sit right with me was the first review you got that said Hakkai DESERVED TO BE RAPED!?? That's insanity, and I think what bugs me is that it was said so non-chalantly, and clearly not the intent of your fic. Just had to vent that one, and point out how amazingly wrong that statement is, no offense to the reviewer. NE way luvd the fic, you R an amazing writer cup'n!
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From ANON - Zil on January 06, 2005
I'm just gonna say this, I have a screwed--up--mind.

It was, in the literal sense, rape.

To me, I thought it was sweet. At least Gojyo and Sanzo decided to help, and Hakkai didn't end up killing himself.

And to all those who go: "OH, I'M GONNA BITCH 'CAUSE GOJYO AND SANZO SHOULDEN'T BE RAPING HAKKAI." Would you rather have NO Hakkai?

I didn't think so. (;

When I opened this fiction up, I thought it'd be just as long as your other ones, but it had a nice length to it, and, as always, I admire your writing style.

Please keep writing, and don't worry about how screwed up your fics happen to be. It's what this site was made for.
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From ANON - T-T on January 06, 2005
That was the most... disturbing fic I've read from you... the writing was... up to your standards...but the story was... i think i agree with your beta that it's more like rape.
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From ANON - Marcato on January 06, 2005
It was an interesting look into conflicting perceptions. The theme of your story was presented well at the beginning with the reader getting a main idea from Decartes' philosophy. I thought the gagging was symbolic of Sanzo's inability to accept another perception. Was it?
Anyways, as the story progressed, I understood more and more of the conflict, especially at the end when you pointed out that the tragedy would happen again.

I dunno what else to say. People read things carrying with them an opinion, so I could see why several different people would have different things to say. My opinion on the story is that it envokes very deep emotions within its readers. Whether people find it disturbing, tragic, etc, it stirred up some particular thought process. You seemed kinda confused on whether to post the story or not. Perhaps the story did not have an aim? (It wasn't meant to bring out a particular emotion? ... or something?) Anyways, as a writer I think you've explored this particular side of writing very well. The descriptions and the emotions were very vivid. Keep writing and exploring!
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From ANON - Flamingolo on January 06, 2005
Goodness, clever one, this was quite the disturbing ficcie. I really have to say that I enjoyed it, especially when I reached the end line and my jaw hit the ground. I was wondering what they meant by teasing Hakkai that he wasn't a virgin; I was certain you would later reveal that he was raped by C.I. on top of everything else. I'm sure I sound like a broken record, but your fics always maintain an astonishing atmosphere...and this one just oozed a kind of depressing emptiness that made the pit of my stomach drop out from the very start. You worked the shocker in very carefully, very gradually, and that was nicely done. In fact, as soon as I caught the plural on years, my mind was replaying the parts that were clues and you gave me the chills. I also love how you intermingled Decartes into the mix for a very clear message once the pieces fell together. I rarely appreciate one-shots so much, wonderful job.
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From ANON - Shadowfox_13 on January 06, 2005
Hey CJ, I see it did get posted. :) And you are right it is thought provoking though extreamly disturbing. And *shuddering* even more creepy re-reading it, yet again. The situation in the story is neither happy nor does it end with any closure, yet the subject of how a world is viewed was well done. I will emphasize that regardless of perception however, the situation is out and out rape and is not ok. No means no.

I will also say that the best writers are not afraid to take even the darkest of subjects and explore them. Not all stories are 'happily ever after,' so I will vouch for your reputaion as being safe (in my opinion anyway *LOL*) because you are, if nothing else, one of the most excellent writers I have had the pleasure of knowing. I hope to see more of your stories posted in the near future (hehehe hinthinthint)
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From ANON - CloeyKujaku on January 06, 2005
....Just...wow.
This was honestly hard for me to read. As kinky and screwed up in the head, I found myself several times almost stopping and not finishing. Only you can do that, y'know that? And the big ol' last line, that just made me effin -SOB.- I got some hints that this occured, and the fact that the responses weren't that of approval, but...The fact that they'd done it multiple times just really got me. Wow, Cupnjava, just..wow. I'm at a loss of words. Even -MY- sadistic ass almost couldn't handle that. And that's saying something. Nonetheless, you've proven yourself to be my favorite author as well as best fanfiction author/author in general I've seen.

Utterly shocked and strangely saited,

--Clojaku
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From ANON - a little shy on January 05, 2005
She's back, but she hasn't registered on AFF yet!
Well, I do have to say that was fucked up on many levels. I did feel I could understand what you were trying to communicate, though & don't feel like it was innapropriate to post, since you made an effort to disclaim & explain .
I caught onto the fact that they would return, but totally missed that it had happended before!
Yes, this was disturbing. No, I didn't find this titillating. I do not regret reading this, as it was thought provoking.
At first I suppose i also expected it to go down that typical yaoi non-con path - starting out as rape, but ending up with all parties happy & satisfied. Was never actually crazy about that whole thing. Ever since I read cheesy harlequin romances in high school, I never liked that whole non-con being ok just because the uke (or woman in the case of the romance novels) got into it in the end. While that plot device was always bothersome to me, well, you pretty much have to get used to it if you're going to read yaoi, just as you have to get used to attempted rape (but rarely successful rape) being used as a plot device in shoujo manga.
Anyway, though more chilling, it is sometimes better to read a story where there is not a happy ending, where sex, non-con or not, doesn't tie up all the loose ends. In the "real world" (or what we perceive as the real world?) a lot of these tales we read would not be so happy. I don't think most people end up falling in love with their rapist, even if you take into account stockholm syndrome, just as i don't believe that most cute shoujo girls would really be saved at the last minute from rape by their brooding bishounen classmate, nor do I think there's many happy little shota boys in the real world all emotionally well-adjusted after their teacher/father/older brother violates them at the age of ten.
So, I guess there's some part of me that can appreciate occasionally reading a story where the actions are actually damaging, instead of "they all lived happily ever after", regardless of the good intentions that the aggressors rationalize or perceive.
You never fail to be interesting, cupnjava.

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