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Reviews for Yuki\'s Realization

By : Kougaiji
  • From ANON - Xia on September 23, 2005
    I liked this fic, it shows potential and had a nice concept, but to be completely honest it was a very hard read. You have a HUGE amount of run-on sentences in the paragraphs and that tends to distract people from the actual fic. There were times I had to read it over or just completely re-edit it myself to even form a picture of what you were trying to say. Especially at the times where a complete paragraph was one huge run-on. My suggestion for this fic? Don't use the word "and" or other linking words so much in your sentences. Break them up a bit with punctuation and detail. Also, use a spell-checker. There were a few words that were spelled wrong in your writing that looked like they were sounded out. Take the reader's suggestion up there and grab a beta reader that knows grammar also, it would improve this fic 10 fold and make it a much more enjoyable read. Sorry if you take this as a flame, just constructive criticism. ^_^ Good luck in the future!
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  • From ANON - MZGREENEYES on August 22, 2005
    i really like this story,it's very good. keep up the good work!!!
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  • From ANON - Gaara on August 15, 2005
    awwwe, i loved that so much! it was really sweet. youre writing is very well done^^ im looking forward to reading more of your stories^^
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  • From ANON - Suki on June 29, 2005
    This fic has a lot of potential. My suggestions are either fix the hoards of grammer and spelling mistakes yourself, or (what might be more helpful) get a beta. Your beta also might be able to help you write your story in a more authoritative voice. (ugh, think power writing from way back in highschool) I also might suggest drawing it out a bit, though I admit I'm a sucker for longer love stories... I think they tend to work better that way, but that's just my opinion. Again, I think the story line is good, a classic set up for a shounen ai between these two. Don't take this as a flame or anything, I just think the grammer and such makes the story well below where it could be.
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  • From MomijiSohma on June 07, 2005
    That was so beautiful! I love this fanfic so much! You are such a talented writer the way you show how the characters are dealing with emotions and such. This fanfic had me crying at the end... ( I'm still crying now ^_^ ) So you are continuing it? O.o That would be fun... *hugs you* I love you! XD Keep up the great work! *cries more and mumbles incoherent things*
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  • From ANON - Tenshi on April 29, 2005
    Hi! I like your story. Yuki and Kyo are such a cute couple. The only thing I didn't like was the fact that you gave honda a semi-big part. She isn't that smart either. I'm not trying to flame you if that's the impression your getting. I just really do not like honda at all. It is evil. Ja ne!
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