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Reviews for HOTTER DAY

By : BACIKY
  • From ANON - non-flamer on November 07, 2006
    you flmrz is mean sons of bitches

    1.)ive seen worse on this site

    2.) it took me hours to find out the japanese names

    3.)you can get a beta to fix the spelling errors

    4.)the only problem that is really that difficult to fix;the length of the story(i'm not that good at that myself)use adjectives, draw it out(try to get it to at least 2 or 3 orgasms)








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  • From ANON - Anon on October 17, 2006
    ,
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  • From ANON - Jd Wheels on January 20, 2006
    Hey man.

    I am not going to flame you... just a little bit of advice.

    Take your time. I suggest to rewrite it. Add some good descriptions and such, really get into the thing. I know just how to do it, if this was my story I could expand this into one hell of a story. I nevr tried to write a Tokyo Mew Mew fic... I just might have to.

    Keep trying. I belive that you have something, just repost it and let your perverted little fantasy run amuck... trust me it will run amuck!

    Read some of mine, or others- just get into the spirit of it all.

    Good luck, mate!
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  • From god147 on January 16, 2006

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  • From ANON - Just some dude reading stories and reviewing stories and may become a member soon. on January 13, 2006
    First of all, people dont just come out of the closet "just like that!" plus, even if they did, nobody would be willing to just , get into bed with someone so randomly. Hell that wasnt even a fic it was just a whole bunch of word's placed together to form some kind of paragraph. As my english teacher would say "Where is the main idea of this? It's pointless drabble" don't bother writing a fic if you can't make a even more then just one semi-medium sized paragraph. Also learn how to make what people call "Detail's" A story containing shojo-ai(yuri) that doesn't have good detail's is just pointless. People who like shojo-ai and read it for it's hot-ness, would'nt like this. Come on if all you're gonna do is put in a a small sentence about something that would usually be so hot, and make it so small and pathetic, then don't write about it.

    In other words..THIS FIC SUCKED!!

    Next time you write a fic about yuri, read some other fics. That way, you'll be able to see how real writer's write yuri fics.
    Hopefully, if you do, it might actually be a good fic.
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  • From KishxIchigo4ever on January 10, 2006
    If that ever happened to me with a guy, then I would be really UPSET if someone walked in knowing I did something with somone. Anyway, that's all, make another story, but longer like this!!
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  • From ANON - Anon on January 09, 2006
    pp for your tt
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  • From ANON - Anon on January 09, 2006
    h
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  • From ANON - Anon on January 08, 2006
    j
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  • From ANON - akeem on January 06, 2006
    I LIKE IT A LOT
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  • From ANON - peachpit on December 15, 2005
    just....wtf....O_o
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  • From ANON - Evermist on October 31, 2005
    Hm. That was rather...fast. I must ask a request of you, however. Please don't use 4Kids names. I scream at my television every Saturday because I hate these names. If you don't know their original names, I understand. But please, in future Mew Mew stories, Zoe is Ichigo, Corina is Mint, Bridget is Lettuce, Kiki Pudding, and Renae Zakura. Please, I just get very annoyed with these names.
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  • From ANON - mew mew freak on October 26, 2005
    man this story sucked. Its spelled Renee
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  • From ANON - Anon on October 26, 2005
    This is pretty good for ur first tery...^_~
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  • From ANON - Anon on October 02, 2005
    fff
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