Reviews for Scattering Ashes

BY : Gloria B


  • From cu-kid on January 22, 2009

    Oh. My. Gods!

    This chapter...this chapter was just...I don't even know. All adjectives that I could possibly use just aren't good enough.

    When I started poking around DN fanfiction, I mostly read LxLight fics with a little MattxMello and a few other pairings here and there. But this story makes me a die-hard MattxNear fan - although, to tell you the truth, I can't really imagine any other storyline that would be so insanely solid and well-thought out. All these little pieces that you have slowly coming together...fantastic. I'm not entirely sure I followed all the technical aspects of it (I'm not very good at understanding intrigue sometimes...), so I'll probably have to go back a re-read the sections with Halle, Rester, and co.

    The beginning of this chapter totally did it for me. I loved Matt standing in the rain, keeping an eye on Near, patiently waiting. That was just so...so awww! I think I may have enjoyed that more than the citrus at the end of the chapter (well...maybe not...but I did love it).

    When Mello first appeared, I kinda laughed at his "Burn" line. But I have to admit to being a little frustrated with him for a while and, by the end of this chapter, I just wanted to scream at him...or scream at someone. Because I wanted Near to tell Matt that he refused to be a poor, second-rate Mello, I wanted Matt to tell Mello to go to hell, and I wanted Mello to stop being such a goddamn girl - that is, manipulating Matt and making him feel guilty for being attracted to Near. Actually, he's worse than a girl because he's dead and still doing all that stuff. I was so relieved when Matt told him to butt out.

    I'll tell you the other thing that made me nearly scream was the way you sectioned this chapter. Clever, but holy crap! I nearly died at the end of the first section with Near asking Matt why he kissed him (probably another reason I didn't completely comprehend the intrigue stuff...I might have skimmed a wee bit...whups). And then you did it again! Oh my freakin' god, really?! I love unresolved tension, I really do, but it was so thick in this chapter it was nearly unbearable. I was just happy that there was something done about it, because if you had stopped the chapter before that, I think I would have just come completely unglued! Fan-freakin'-tastic - loved it!

    The art helped you? Really?! Muwhahaha! That was my evil genius master plan the whole time, to get you to update! (...but is it really evil if another brilliant chapter gets posted because of it...? Hrm...) Does that mean if I can crank out another one, it'll happen again? Lol...no, I'm joking. Seriously, though, I'm super glad you liked it - without this story, it never would have come to life. Thanks for the wonderful story and the chapter dedication!

    ~cu-kid



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  • From cu-kid on January 16, 2009

    I hate leaving non-review reviews, but I couldn't think of another way to contact you...

    I wanted to let you know I've recently posted a piece on deviantART based on your story. It can be found here: http://cu-kid.deviantart.com/art/Scattering-Ashes-109655509

    Thanks for the inspiration :)

    ~cu-kid


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  • From inuyashalove04 on January 15, 2009

    I really liked this chapter! Although it made me cry at the section with Hani, being beaten and dying. That was just sad, but it brought out Nears anger. I can't wait to see how you make him act from here. His anger has come loose because he thinks that everything happening is because of him. I'm just looking forward to how he acts in later chapters. ^^
    I love how Matt described Mello. That entire section of the chapter made me smile and go aww. Almost a fangirl squeal...not quite though, but close. XD

    Mello is a complicated character! I thought we were going to get more information out of him. And we did...it was just enough to leave us hanging, screaming what else!? I was half expecting Mello to tell us either who was trying to kill Near or who was behind the murders in Japan...but I should have known better. I'll continue to trust that you, although wary (just a little. many curves can still come out of nowhere.). The uncertainty of the story will keep me right here and waiting for more. ^^
    L showing up in California...it would be interesting, just for a surprise to Near. But, it's not needed at all. Especially if he'll show up some in the sequel.
    (in response to Nebo's review...you had it right; I'm a 'her'. XD)

    Great chapter, once again. Can't wait for the next one.

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  • From Duomi on January 11, 2009

    Again: I love that T.S. Eliot quote! So perfect for this...

    *typing with breakfast banana in mouth before work* Mello seems so freaking cute with the sweats and the hoodie and the ponytail! Melts me totally. I like his argument, too-- that crazy people might be sane to themselves, they just accept a different reality than most people.

    Had to wiki Tulpa! What an interesting concept it is...

    --Near was just sitting in the bathroom in a towel chatting with Mello?! *drops head on desk and dissolves into giggles* Omg. Seriously, omg. (I loved that discussion though! You are so much damn smarter than me. I like using the geography mapping in space thing as a way to explain Mello's impression on the physical world.)

    *reading happily* You have no idea how much it pleases me that I can tell by the dictation and the writing within the paragraphs when it's Near versus Matt-- when the thoughts that come across in the actual text are so clearly them that it can't be the other! I love that. Near just getting make-up applied to him and taking the opportunity to closely analyze Matt is adorable to me, and wonderful.

    Also~ love Near in general! You write him so well. I like his logic about why he won't try to comfort Matt in the physical way, and that most of it stems from Matt's total obsession with Mello and a few choice things said while angry. Is the "fierce, hissing thing" that tells Near he's second best his pride, his memory, or actually Mello? Maybe a little of all three?

    Maaaaatt, stop listening to Mello when you kiss Near! Jerk.

    I like that the sloth thing made Near smile-- it was amusing. *grins* And that Near asked Matt about his Mello. It also amuses me so much that just Matt's expressions say about anything Near needed to know about Mello!

    Hmm~ I liked the bus scene, and Near being the buffer for Matt to touch the urn! This comment is going to be really long, isn't it? I'll have to stop soon. Or just post two.

    Dude-- do the kuna exist? How the hell did you find that statistic? *laughing* That's amazing.

    ((*returned after work*)) Aww-- Near actually got upset! I love that that fact gave Matt a "whoa, wtf?" reaction and stopped his arguments. I weirdly love that he got so upset he cried.

    *double-takes after glancing at another of your review-responses* You mentioned Deliverance Dane?! *skims 10 again* Omfs, you did! I missed that! Someone else had to catch it! I'm a horrible person! I'm sorry...! I love that you threw the reference in though!

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  • From Duomi on January 10, 2009

    Okay, I'm cheating! I really want to read 11 before I work tomorrow so I skimmed ten to the part with Mello and Matt and sleeping Near! *is a horrible person* I wanted to reread that part most, and after that...! Then on to 11 in the morning if I can, though I may not be able to comment til late in the night.

    Did I mention liking the description of when Mello is taking Matt into Near's dream??? I like it! The "echo" of pain, very nice, and the room shaking in his mind.

    ...Actually, it makes me really, really sad that Matt still thinks of Near's warmth as the best thing about the kiss-- and that he keeps thinking of Near's eyes as like holes that suck him in or draw him out, while Near thinks of Matt's eyes as hot or warm and they seem to make him feel more pleasant. I think Matt's still kicking and screaming at the getting-closer thing, while Near's finally started to relent to the inevitability.

    *curious* I need to reread more later! I miss it, and I constantly realize how amazing your writing is. I can memorize parts of scenes, or the scene as it plays in my head, to go over later-- but I forgot in this case that some of the scenes in my mind were just from a few perfectly directed lines of yours that somehow pull out enough detail, reference enough and match so perfectly to the character that the scene makes total sense and the image in my mind is perfectly clear. Like with the Lucifer / morning star thing, and Matt just having a flashback to one line by Mello and one by himself-- my memory of that was much longer, and clear, and I was really startled when I realized that memory was just from a passage that short! It's wonderful.

    I also forgot how freakin' cute Near trying to bond with Matt is. His awkwardness is frustrating to him, and so totally adorable I grin non-stop! Like his, "I've never wanted a friend before." and then frowning at himself for not making it sound quite right. Too cute!

    Also really love that while Near is trying to explain why he and Matt can eventually be trusting friends, when Matt interrupts him, Near snaps at him. It makes me shake my head and laugh.

    Toward the end of this chapter (still on 10), after the nightmare, Mello was behaving himself so well...! Was the hand-holding thing sort of his apology to Near for things having gone so wrong?

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  • From Duomi on January 10, 2009

    Rereading chapter nine to actually comment on it here...! I like the bit with "L would have known. L would not have let his feelings cloud his judgment." Very Near! I love that he still compares himself to the long-dead L.

    "After that, they spoke random, ambiguous questions at one another every few hours, like a game of chess, trying to get a feel for how much they were willing to reveal." Still love that mental image-- the two just facing off against each other, randomly spurting questions the other cannily ignores.

    Still love "minor...impalement." Makes me grin.

    '“Those things will most assuredly kill you.”
    Matt sent a wry glance Near’s direction. “Not before you do.”'

    Ha! I forgot that exchange, and how much I enjoyed it. Clever boys...

    "You have hair like polar bears?" still kills me...!!! I'll still think of it at random while working and I'll fight not to laugh. I also love Near just casually fixing Alexa's blocks so they're perfect. And Near having to stop himself from protesting the blocks going away! I forgot that. I love that whole scene.

    Ahh! The fight still hurts-- poor Matt, but he really did say some fairly unforgettably painful things to Near... ouch!

    Also, hurray for your explanation on reasoning with Near in the A/N! I think it worked very clearly for people who were confused.

    You mentioned the rice, rice, baby thing! *snickers* And yeah, Matt soooo would with the homing device. I imagine at Wammy's he made simple homing devices when young and attached them to random objects, animals, Watari... *laughs*

    Mello and Near bonding over their injuries gives me a warm and happy feeling.

    Of course Near would have felt ridiculous in camo! I mean, he's an albino. He's this pale, shining, pretty thing with soft hair and a boyish face, wearing army camo. He was probably the cutest thing ever. I really want to draw that but I want to read and go to sleep! *grins*

    *reads another response you wrote to a reviewer* Omg, you actually did say the "downtown Coolsville, population of one" thing! I love you. You're a dork. *grins even more*

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  • From cu-kid on January 10, 2009

    I nearly came out of my chair when I saw this update - I mean, naturally, I was excited to devour more of your exquisite writing, but it also gave me the excuse I needed to procrastinate that much longer on getting my own stuff written ;)

    I forgot to mention in my last review how much I LOVE the idea of Matt being Near's W. I'm not even entirely sure why, at this point, but it just strikes me as so appropriate. And, with the relationship developing between them, I think it adds that extra...something...Poignancy, maybe.

    In this chapter, I think I stopped breathing entirely during the whole putting foundation on Near scene. Ohmygod, that was hot! (And, mind you, I rarely 'Ohmygod' anything, soo...;) ) What kills me is that it was so short! (You see, I say that, but, really, I love a slow build like that...even if I do stop breathing :) ) Also, I loved your descriptions in this chapter. Some people describe scenery like it's a list, or just a necessary evil to get out of the way, but you...I don't even know. It was beautiful. You transported me effortlessly to a place I've never been and I could imagine myself getting drenched, the air filled with citrus *sighs* Lovely.

    Well! For not knowing people actually had a 'fear of the marketplace,' you certainly pulled it off well! To tell you the truth, the only reason I know that is because phobias fascinate me (did you know there's a fear of thinking?! Craziness...). I'm glad I could, in some small way, help!

    I enjoyed every bit of this update! Can't wait for more!

    ~cu-kid





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  • From cu-kid on January 06, 2009

    So...I read this last night from start to finish and realized after I got to the end of the last chapter I would have to wait until the next day to leave a review because it was just too late for me to formulate any kind of response. And now, here it is, the next day, and I've realized my inability to review wasn't because I was tired, it was because this story has literally left me speechless.

    I think the best thing about this story, as a whole, is how amazingly well thought out it is - I mean, you've essentially created something from nothing, a plot seemingly revolving around carrying out Mello's last wishes. I've never read any of your other work, but I have a feeling that, in anyone else's hands, this wouldn't have been nearly as good. I find myself truly wanting to know about the motives behind each character instead of just wishing Matt and Near would get on with it.

    And then there are all the little things, details that are amazing - Matt being able to listen to code, your descriptions of the places they are in - all of these things just give this story so much...life. With each chapter, I was constantly amazed by how you managed to draw me in and skillfully hold my attention.

    As for your take on the canon characters...it's just...wonderful. I don't know what else to say, really. Matt has evolved in a way that is stunning and yet truly believable. Near, I think, is dead on - the way he speaks, his mannerisms. And Mello's ghost...I think that is the most interesting part of this whole story. Because I find myself alternating between believing they really do see him and thinking he is just a by-product of stress/insanity/whatever.

    The slow tension you are building between Matt and Near is absolutely delicious. Their new acceptance of each other is slow, tentative, and, I will admit, a little frustrating at times. But I love it. I love all the small gestures - holding hands while picking out the urn, Matt washing Near's hair, helping him through his agoraphobia. It's brilliant and poignant. I have to say I might have screamed, "NO!" when Matt realized that Near had let himself be kidnapped just to learn about the former's contacts - because that kiss was awesome - but it fit and made sense.

    I could ramble on and on about how great this story is and how much I enjoyed it, but I think this review has become lengthy enough. Needless to say, I am excited to see where you take this and will definitely be looking forward to your next update!

    ~cu-kid

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  • From inuyashalove04 on January 03, 2009

    *happily eats chocolate chip cookies* I can't believe I actually got it right. I was sure that one of the other reviewers would've guessed it before me. ^^

    This chapter has to be one of the most emotional ones yet; and I love it. It really shows what all Matt has gone through and the torture he goes through. I mean, having Mello's ghost follow him around can't be easy on him; and it shows a little bit on his mental stability. But, who could be considered normal under that circumstance? XD
    Mello's ghost made me laugh in a few places though. When it's just Matt and Mello in the room (Matt packing everything up to leave the house), Mello acts all irritated (maybe jealous even) because Matt is struggling with his actions towards Near. Then at the end, he smiles because Matt and Near are getting along. I just couldn't help but laugh at the different attitudes he has when he shows up.

    I really liked the section with them on the boat. Nears bad excuse to talk to, or to be with, Matt was extremely bad. 'I wanted to see the stars?' Seriously a funny line to get someones attention at sunrise. Although it did turn out to be a nice scene between the two by the end. The two holding hands, watching the sunrise...that's just too cute.

    Ah, just one question. Will there be anymore L ghost scenes, or are they over with? Just a random thought. ^^ Great chapter, and I can't wait for the next one.

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  • From inuyashalove04 on December 22, 2008

    I love this chapter! It's a really good Matt/Near chapter, ah who am I kidding; it's a great chapter. You got the kiss between the two, the story line thickens (loved Matts background story!), and the flashbacks with L were explained some. Oh and I think I know where Mello's cameo was! I'd bet it was during the kiss, when Near pulled back and yelled that Mello and Matt had been lovers. That's the only place that it makes sense. I could be wrong though. ^^
    Happy Holidays

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  • From inuyashalove04 on December 15, 2008

    I'm very sorry Gloria for not reviewing the last chapter! But that means I had two chapters to read tonight though. And I loved both chapters. It made me a little sad with Nears tortured appearance in the cell. But it made me smile that Mello's ghost/spirit found him and stayed with him. It shows that he cared about Near in a way. That and Matt being reckless, and wanting too save Near made me smile. It just amazes me with the details and information I get from reading the story. You must put in a lot of time doing research, to make the story as...realistic as possible with real past/present events. I can't wait to read what you do next, and I'll be there (on time) for the next review.

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  • From Duomi on December 12, 2008

    *giggles* I loved DB laughing at Matt placing a tracking device on Near-- and seriously, it's so something he would do. And the response being "He's a very special friend" also amuses me greatly.

    "It was a strange look, one that he had never observed from Mello before. One solely of interest, and not hate." I like that phrase! It's very unusual for Mello, but believable-- maybe a look of respect for once? Also liked you drawing attention to Mello's scars in the next line, making a comparison between the pain that Near had finally experienced in the line of duty with the scars that Mello himself carries. Nice!

    I also love your army-speak and knowledge of the lingo and copters and such! It feels very authentic. It also impresses me tremendously.

    Yaaay for Matt being neat and ordering high-ranking people about! DB is a bastard, but a savvy one.

    I much enjoyed the Lebanese guerillas shouting at Near and Mello's ghost just chilling next to Near and advising him, and Near pretending not to hear either.

    I never really thought of Near as having received all of the Wammy's House training everyone else had...! He probably would be profficient with at least some forms of fighting and such. Him kicking ass with a dislocated arm and a hammer is epic, however.

    Near had some reason for getting himself captured, right? I remember there being a reason but I can't anymore! Getting himself captured and tortured on the assumption that Matt would risk his life to save him is pretty dumb. Even to even the playing field. Oh! It was to meet Danny Boy I think, right? And learn about Matt's network.

    Yaaay Mello saved Near! I love Mello in this, he's about the best ghost I've ever read I think.

    *realized abruptly that when Near helped Matt to the copter she was leaning waaay too close to the computer screen* Gah! Ow, my head hurts now. Interest doesn't mean shoving my face too close to the glowing letters...

    *grins like an idiot at Matt nearly killing Denvers for waking him up the wrong way*

    Hee, I like Matt being all pissy and Near calmly stating that he authorized (or ordered) Matt to be sedated until he could heal. Seriously, it was the only way he'd have gotten better. I also like the idea of Near in soldier clothes, but that's another matter.

    Near blushing when Matt accuses him of being concerned is also adorable...!

    I'm actually very proud of DB! He left his office after being ordered to, but barely managed to resist what must have been a powerful urge for maniacal laughter at so many plans going his way.

    "Please, do not be insufferably idiotic" is, I think, my new favorite phrase. It seems like it should be a computer warning when you attempt doing the wrong thing.

    .............*giggling too hard to breathe* Omg, you mentioned Gundam. You're amazing. Thanks for the author's notes though, I especially love your reasoning on having fifty Black Hawks. *laughs* You'd make a great Hollywood director.

    You made the Source read this too?! *soooo amused by that* And he loves the Mello scenes? Yaaay! That ups his coolness level. Seriously. I'm curious about why you're having Matt not having supported Mello! I'm guessing it was for Mello's own protection somehow. Ish. I mean, he did end up dead. But still.

    Constant support remains ongoing! I am also sad that Akhish had a tiff with Matt becoming his enemy, and hope he pops up later.

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  • From ANON - lyshitski on December 11, 2008

    Ok, I should've reviewed this awhile ago, but I'm always worried about what I want to say coming out as something unintelligible. blah...
    First off: I LOVE how epic this fic is. The amount of detail and information that is put into this fic just wow's me every time. Just looking at the latest chapter (8), your knowledge and use of the various aspects of American military equipment just had me drooling. I love it. And the use of Hezbollah, and trying to figure out what the situation in the Middle East would be like when this fic is taking place, and using the different sects in Jerusalem. Gah!
    Have I mentioned I love it?
    Secondly: Characterization. Normally I find that fics tend to make Matt into this stoner-like character who just knows how to stay on Mello's good side. Your characterization of him just made him so much...cooler? Ok, lame adjective, but nonetheless, he is. The way you gave Matt an actual personality that's of his own, that he's not some laid back couch guru with a DS in hand but in fact doesn't like being social, and had his own reasons for being with Mello other than that he was beckoned and came running like some whipped boyfriend. Though, I guess you haven't exactly said why they got together in the first place, but if your a/n is anything to go by, I suppose that should be coming up soon. Yeah :3
    And Near? Ok, this review is getting pretty long as it is, so let me just say that he's so IC Ohba would be jealous. Awwyeah.
    I can't wait to read the developments between Matt and Near, and the rest of this fic in general, so keep up the amazing work!

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  • From Duomi on December 08, 2008

    Oooh, Matt's got a forehead scar? *resists asking if it's in the shape of a lightning bolt* Matt is the Boy Who Lived V2! None of that is what I meant to say though, just curiosity at if it was from him being shot up in the Kira times or if it's newer!

    I love Near all curled up and acting so like himself in that chaotic situation...! And everyone just being like, "Um." and stepping politely around the crazy kid. Also love the Nusseibeh (and not just because I have a thing for tall, dark and mysterious men of questionable power levels!). Also! The significance of the Jack that's now smeared with Matt's blood, so it seems even more like maybe he's involved with that case. Ooh, mystery!

    Heheheh, at the line "the fighting began around three in the morning..." I bounced in place, feeling like I'd developed psychic powers because you mentioned this part of the story on the phone. (Though not the line.) Yaaay! Near getting to pull some moves now.

    "Even then, Near believed that Matt had some secret. Did Matt care so little about the world that he could walk smiling into the waiting arms of death? Or did he know something that his killers had not?" I like that whole paragraph, and especially that section-- it brings clear images to mind, and it's perfect for Matt! It really does raise questions about his attitude.

    "Dutiful indifference" is a lovely turn of phrase for Near's reaction to becoming L...! It's wonderful, really seems to suit how he treats it.

    "Near had been willing to endanger himself to save this man. Near had killed for him. Was there a secret here that L knew? That he had discovered for himself? That Near was discovering now?" That is so adorable...! Near being such a genius, and over-analyzing his reaction to Matt so minutely that he's basically missed the forest by sticking his nose so close to the trees all he can see is bark and he can't even decide if that's really what he's seeing at all. The simpler answer of liking Matt or developing an attachment to him doesn't even occur to him, it must be some obscure secret thing that humans have the power to do. *laughing* It's endearing, and I love it.

    Omg! I actually like that idea-- the bulletproof vest, public death, etc.-- very good! I'll now be unable to resist grinning widely whenever I see or draw his friggin' vest now. Omg, I like that.

    Oooh, and it actually makes many things in Death Note make delicious sense, like Matt keeping out of Mello's life until Mello's mafia fell apart... nice!

    Also: Double omg-- Ghost!Mello, quit molesting Near! *giggling too much to stop* I keep rereading the scene from "Web of lies..." on, and-- Mello...! *shaking head, still giggling* That boy. It figures that even death couldn't stop him from acting like himself. I think it'd be fun, though, since he's been acting so all-knowing, if something happened to upset Mello's ghost.

    Aww, Near stepped back into him when Mello pulled away! Awwwww... *shakes naughty thoughts from head* Inappropriate time!

    Hah! "When have you ever been alive?" with Near's response basically being "..." cracks me up too. I am grinning like a crazy person through this whole scene. I really want to draw it...! But I think I'd be way too lazy to finish!!!

    Also the third: Heee, I like the Nusseibeh. I love his calm reaction to Near being so amusedly freaked out (I mean-- it really shouldn't amuse me so much, but I just have this maternal amusement toward Near growing as a person and fighting it so hard and reacting on emotions!). And his reaction to "I am Mello" as basically, "Mmmmhmmmmmmm.... Right. Of course you are." Near isn't used to people laughing at him with their minds.

    Ahah! And the, "Friend... that was not my question." gave me a total "Go Near!" moment, and another huge grin. Aww, I do love that boy. I love how you write him as well! I think this comment may turn out longer than the allotted space.

    *flailed and had mental panic at the scene switching to Rester and Halle, despite liking them* Oh! The cursor is still like... halfway down the page, it should be fine. Whoo! Was worried.

    Heh, poor Halle! She was all worried and freaked out and Near was like, "Woman, shut up, I don't have time for your silly human emotions. They're sort of freaking me out as it is on my end." Only not sounding like that. I need sleep...!

    Lol! I can also picture Near casually firing one of his loyal and stubborn surrogate parent/bodyguards when they irritate him.

    Ooh! And within the same chapter I get my wish, and Mello's all pissed off. *happy* (You're right, the pigeon scene is cute and funny! I'm also intrigued by Ghost!Mello, and how he'll sometimes contradict himself directly in the same few sentences, and sometimes seems all-knowing and sometimes at a loss. It's fascinating and fun.)

    And of course I loved the update! Now I'm on the edge of my seat again. *laughs* I'm glad the Nusseibeh showed up, I like him, and Near and he clashing is also fun. Near's such a brat, he really is. I'm wondering now if Mello's been haunting Matt for years and just recently decided to kick Near a few visits too, or if Matt's been just as side-swiped by Mello as Near. I shall keep an eye out for it. (I also liked Near leaving the Jack card on the basket so Matt'll know where the urn is! It really would have sucked to have the Hezbollah break Mello's ashes.)

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  • From Duomi on November 14, 2008

    Additional thing I forgot to mention: I love Hall and Rester's interactions! They feel very real, and they play off against each other very well.

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