rate_review Reviews

Well I don\'t know why I came back to have a peek at this fic. I guess I was actually curious to see if you were ging to throw a tantrum (so many people do). The fact that you didn\'t and actually appreciated the criticism does show you are not immature. I\'m glad I was of helnd Ind I did see an improvement on the last chapter. It had a brief description at the begining to set the scene, and the interaction between Yuki and Shu was better than in the past. It can still be improved by extending the descriptions some more, and adding some thoughts, or drivinf motives in the characters (although I know you said you did it in a hurry). If you are not content with the final product or think it to be rushed, then don\'t feel pressurized to post it. Readers appreciate a good written story over a mediocre one, and would be willing to wait. I would aadviadvice you tried to use more adjectives when referin got the two men in order to avoid using their names so much as it can get a bit repetitive. Adjectives are a good way to enrich the writing in general, and make it flow more smoothly. Good luck with the rest of the story, I\'m glad you took what I said into account.

WOW.....I say kill yuki.....who needs him anyways ryuichi is pretty and and and stuff...I love it so far....umm....hurry up with the new chapter eh! -__-

^_~.....

TISSUES AND KUMAGORO FOREVER!!!

please add soooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!

YOU MADE ME CRYYYY! ...poor Shuichi! *grabs him and runs to Nittle Grasper\'s hideout*

YOU MUST ADD GODDAMMIT!!!
PLEASE!
MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!!!!!!
I AM HOLFING MY BREATH, SO DONT LET ME DIE!!!
love- the kitten

I can\'t beleive this fic has so many reviews, and fairly good ones at that. I don\'t mean to be nasty. I\'m usually a very nice person, honest! The first chapter was fairly decent, but I honestly see no plot, no depth in the characters, really poor dialogue and very OOC. It would be alright as a PWP I guess, but even then... Sorry this fic didn\'t do it for me.

You should keep writing though, seeing so manopleople did like it, plese don\'t let someone like me deter you. I thi think you could improve, even if you decided to stay with this mega nasty Yuki. First of all, what are his motivations? How can Shuichi love the man so much and then go all happy and say the same to Ryuichi? And Ryu back to him? It was just... odd and unrealistic. Try to explain a bit better why the characters act they way they do and why they feel the way they do. I love you Yuki, and I hate Yuki, I love you Ryuichi, I love you Shuichi, it\'s just too hollow. Good luck in your writing though! I know it\'s hard, but please don\'t hate me! The only way to improve is to take note of every reader\'s opinion and try to better yourself, always strife to improve, never settle. I can tell you are probably quite young and shouldn\'t evenbe here in the first place, as well as many readers, but if you are going to write something, then try for it to have some substance to it.

If you don\'t continue it fast , anyone \' ll forget \'bout you !

Wahhh! It\'s been more that 2 weeks and still no new chapter?! This sucks!

DUUUUUUDDDDDDDEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! Write more it\'s been almost a month write more or I will start a protest................ j/k

very intersting fic i hope you write more soon and i hope shuichi is ok and doesn\'t kill yuki unless i can first ^_~ yuki is such an a-whole in this fic but im not flaming you for it. anyway just write more and maybe it\'ll have a happy ending.