rate_review Reviews

Is there more?

What happened? This is like a prologue...which, in terms of writing, is equal to an APPETIZER.

i realy liked your story but i think you rushed it a bit.try taking your time and go deeper into a story.
now that thats said..i cant wait to read your next installment!!

Man, hon, if you are going to write a fic, then write it! You have decent dialogue, but throw in some more description and detail. Gokuing ing off his limiter is a really big deal--you need to draw it out longer, make tha battle a huge thing. You\'ve got a nice idea with Goku being injured sparking his relationship with Sanzo to a different level, so run with it! Take some time, really picture the scene in your head and think of everything that you can do to describe it, even something like what kind of road they\'re driving on, what the weather is like, who is sitting where in the jeep.

You can make this into a really nice story, just take a little more time with your work. >^.^<