rate_review Reviews

I liked this fic, it shows potential and had a nice concept, but to be completely honest it was a very hard read. You have a HUGE amount of run-on sentences in the paragraphs and that tends to distract people from the actual fic. There were times I had to read it over or just completely re-edit it myself to even form a picture of what you were trying to say. Especially at the times where a complete paragraph was one huge run-on. My suggestion for this fic? Don\'t use the word \"and\" or other linking words so much in your sentences. Break them up a bit with punctuation and detail. Also, use a spell-checker. There were a few words that were spelled wrong in your writing that looked like they were sounded out. Take the reader\'s suggestion up there and grab a beta reader that knows grammar also, it would improve this fic 10 fold and make it a much more enjoyable read. Sorry if you take this as a flame, just constructive criticism. ^_^ Good luck in the future!

i really like this story,it\'s very good. keep up the good work!!!

awwwe, i loved that so much! it was really sweet. youre writing is very well done^^ im looking forward to reading more of your stories^^

This fic has a lot of potential. My suggestions are either fix the hoards of grammer and spelling mistakes yourself, or (what might be more helpful) get a beta. Your beta also might be able to help you write your story in a more authoritative voice. (ugh, think power writing from way back in highschool) I also might suggest drawing it out a bit, though I admit I\'m a sucker for longer love stories... I think they tend to work better that way, but that\'s just my opinion. Again, I think the story line is good, a classic set up for a shounen ai between these two. Don\'t take this as a flame or anything, I just think the grammer and such makes the story well below where it could be.

That was so beautiful! I love this fanfic so much! You are such a talented writer the way you show how the characters are dealing with emotions and such. This fanfic had me crying at the end... ( I\'m still crying now ^_^ ) So you are continuing it? O.o That would be fun... *hugs you* I love you! XD Keep up the great work! *cries more and mumbles incoherent things*

Hi! I like your story. Yuki and Kyo are such a cute couple. The only thing I didn\'t like was the fact that you gave honda a semi-big part. She isn\'t that smart either. I\'m not trying to flame you if that\'s the impression your getting. I just really do not like honda at all. It is evil. Ja ne!