rate_review Reviews

that was good, but there are mistakes that you need to fix.

GREAT STORYYY!!! =) AWWW I ALWAYS LIKES SEIYAAAA!! =) Wow, you write beautifully.. good job!!

Hey, it's me. You asked me to take a look at this a while ago and, well, here I am! It's interesting, but the first chapter seems strangely rushed. Maybe try to slow it down a little. And the dream sequence was a little confusing. Just a little, but maybe it's just the way I read, lol ^.~

You might find that it reads easier if you read it aloud to yourself and add a little more punctuation. Mostly just commas. Just try to break up your sentences a little, to me they feel a little...I don't know, long? Not the word I'm looking for, but it's the closest thing I could think of. But again, that may just be my writing/reading style.

Their speech seems to be a little formal in the earlier chapters, even Usagi's. Substitute one or two "cannot"s for a "can't", maybe, especially when the Inners are talking amongst each other. Can you really imagine Minako saying "cannot" unless she were talking about something big? Ami, maybe, and I understand it when the Lights say it (They're vampires in this or something, right?), but very few others.

It's a good story with quite a bit of potential. It just needs some tweaking, I think. ^.~

Wonderful story! I\'ve been wanting to read a Starlights x Usagi lemon... I\'ve seen her with just Seiya, but never all three. I hope you write a sequel, I would love to read more!

*stares blankly and sighs*Damn it. I wanted her to die! Curse you!

HI! well not bad at all, I\'ll be reading more so look for me.

o.0 Dude, Taiki and Yaten are so evil! I LOVE IT! YAY! *dances* This is a really, really good story. I wanna know what my two favorite Starlights are plotting.

0.0 SUGOI! I love it! It\'s really, really good!

Yay! It\'s good! I lurve it! You\'re awesome! *hugs*

I\'m a tad hyper.

P.S. I got a review defending Nothing to Life For on ff.net. This person went off on Rabbit!