rate_review Reviews

I just wanted to let you know that I loved your story and like the that you write. I look forward to reading more from you in the furture.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant believ you did that! oh no i am so taken aback and amazed and that was so unexpected! You Rock did you know that? YOU TOTALLY FREAKIN ROCK! That was just WOW you know? ok I m ok. I just was so shocked at that. Wow you are a very daring writer i cant wait to read your continuation in the othe r story. ACCLAMATIONS and Keep up the great work!

Ooooooooooooooooooooooh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dooooood I so loved it Ren!! *huggles Ren for putting the three together!* Yeah dood you can seriously do more with this! What will Yuki\'s reaction be?!?! Muwahaha! And damn dood, they cracked the wall!? That was some serious pounding right there *smirks* Ok, I reviewed so NOW you can get on to writing chap TWO!! Woooooooooooooooooot!!! Oh and the part w/ Touma on the street! Aiyaa! Yeah Shuu talked the smack, but Touma just smacked! hahahaha! It was a sad scene though!! Evil Touma hurt my Shuu! *huggles Shuu* *wants chap three so this time I can partcipate with Shuu and Ryu* >:) hehe

Love ya babe! Good work! Matane,

Nic

hahaha ok, yeah i said \'chap three\' at the end there lmao!! oooooook must be gettin tired again :p ok so you knew i meant chap two...but hopefully there\'ll be a chap three too! okies i\'m done now rofl!!

Love,

Nic

Overall.. great first effort! Criticism: Please use spacing between paragraphs.. it makes it ALOT easier to read.. please define the japanese phrases you are using (it sucks to have to google them while reading not everyone can read the romanized words), break the story up a little more.. I think after the first night wiht Ryu would be a great place to end \"chapter 1\" and start yuki home as chpt 2... it just felt too long especially without spacing for the paragraphs! Your last lemon scene was 200% better written than the ones in the beginning of the fic. Also you have Ryu mark shu\'s neck and possibly bruise his back before yuki gets home but you never addressed this later in the fic. Overall great fic and I can\'t wait to see Yuki\'s reaction!

lmfao, that was awsome! XP

That was awesome! I thought your writing was great and I loved your story. You should continue it.^_^

yay! it\'s posted!! i love it, it\'s soooo yummy ^__^ and thanks to you, i\'m so not about finishing mine right now cuz i\'m all about the ryu/shu instead of the ryu/tats heheheheh anyway, i liked how you ended it (which, of course, you know :p) but it makes me want moooorrrreeee *poolyryueyes* *evil grin as i see the ryu eyes working* muwahahahaaa

Is this the end? I\'d really like to see Yuki\'s reaction to what happened.