rate_review Reviews

Aww, thank you very much! XD
I'll do my best to reduce the adjectives and adverbs to an appropriate number ... finally I don't want the story to get lost in them, too. ^^ I'll upload the next chapter as soon as it returned from the translation correction ... XD
Elilenti

Mizuki: I liked it! But as the first reviewer said it is kind of hard to understand some of your phrasing. I too like literature but at some point you have to stop and decide that enough is enough. I'm not critisizing you...

Kuma: You are. And you're mean for it. Don't listen to her, she has the brain capacity of a five. ye...

Mizuki: Stop that!!!

Kuma: *Shrugs* Sorry. *cough*loser*cough*

Mizuki: I heard that long ears. See if I feed you tonight.

Kuma: Ass.

Mizuki: Ahem. Anyway, I liked it and... Damn you rabbit! You made me forget!

Kuma: That was the whole point. Listen, you're doing a wonderful job and keep it up. I look foreward to your next chapter.

Mizuki: Brown noser.

Kuma: You're on the rag aren't you?

Mizuki: Oh, that's it whitey! Come'er!

Kuma: O.O Damn!!!

This is what is called purple prose in literary circles. You use an excessive amount of adjectives and adverbs to describe things, some of which do not seem to make any sense. I recommend you cut down on the flowery language in the next chapter.

Sorry, but I'm not Rowling. I like literature! ;)
If it's too difficult for you, go and read Potter. These kind of texts are not written for you.

The author ^^