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for Consumation of Flesh

by yumeitenshi

person erika
schedule November 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM
oOo i like it :) more please!
person wolfwood3189
schedule February 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
this story was pretty good, the sex was ok but you could have subsituted some words like "pussy" for "cunt"but overall good story
person MK
schedule December 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Not bad yumei..

the setting is good, and the intro is interesting enough. However, more description regarding the circumstances of the ape clan rampage would be nice. I assume the setting is after the end of the movie? So why did the monkey clan suddenly decide to go on a rampage? Near/in Irontown, no less? Surely lady eboshi and her soldiers would have blasted the heads off the apes before san would have gotten there.

Also, a little buildup to the consummation would make the scene more romantic. Like san and ashitaka talking a little more, and her internal struggle with hating humans and yet deeply in love with one, as well as being human herself. Revealing this to ashitaka would make their bond stronger and more believable, since then san and ashitaka can learn to understand each other. Still, i'm not complaining when it comes to san and ashitaka consummating their relationship in a most satisfying way (heheh..ashitaka and the wolf girl..damn hot!). I could go on and on, but suffice to say this is a good first attempt. The movie was kinda open-ended, and closure is greatly needed.

Tell me if you have plans for a sequel and/or plans for other fanfics! Good job!
person no name
schedule June 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM
It was fine for what it was, but too many sentences started with the word "she or "her", I think you could've been a little more creative with how your sentences were structured.

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