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April 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Ouch I hope you didn't get hurt. Anyway, I loved this chapter. They seem to be trying to sort out there feelings. I can't wait for more.
=)
=)
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April 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hahaha, so L is pansexual too, eh? Don't find too many of those around. I thought I was one of the few, actually. Stupid, stupid me.
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April 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Love this can't wait to read more. Even though I sware I read this at one point, it's just revised with more to it this time.*sheepish grin* Anyway, good story don't wait to long ta update.
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April 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Alright, sorry, but I had to stop half-way through this first chapter because this was annoying me so much.
Why is Ryuzaki referring to himself as "Ryuzaki-sama"? Why is he referring to Misa as "Misa-Misa" and "Misa-chan"? He never did either of these in the Manga or Anime and it seem quite OOC. First of all, in Japanese, a person doesn't give themself an honorific, it would be considered rude and self-centred, especially "sama". In fact, Ryuzaki was never given an honorific by anyone, not even the common "san", or "kun". He was always just "Ryuzaki" or "L" and he never referred to himself in third person. Secondly, he always called Misa "Amane-san" or "Misa-san". He never used any friendly honorifics like "chan" as a sign of endearment. He was always rather formal. The friendliest his language got was using "kun" with Light, as a sign of their mock-friendship.
I just HAD to get that off my chest, because it was annoying me really bad and will make an otherwise good story seem out-of-character and unprofessional. If you don't like honorifics, you don't have to write them at all. No one will blame you for dropping them. This is an English-language story, and adding Japanese to it won't make it seem smarter, or more professional (In my opinion, it has the opposite effect).
Anyway, I'm not dissing your story, lyke. It's just this one little thing. I couldn't actually get myself to continue reading it with Ryuzaki calling himself "Ryuzaki-sama". It's just wrong. Like I said, it will make a potentially good story seem OOC.
Why is Ryuzaki referring to himself as "Ryuzaki-sama"? Why is he referring to Misa as "Misa-Misa" and "Misa-chan"? He never did either of these in the Manga or Anime and it seem quite OOC. First of all, in Japanese, a person doesn't give themself an honorific, it would be considered rude and self-centred, especially "sama". In fact, Ryuzaki was never given an honorific by anyone, not even the common "san", or "kun". He was always just "Ryuzaki" or "L" and he never referred to himself in third person. Secondly, he always called Misa "Amane-san" or "Misa-san". He never used any friendly honorifics like "chan" as a sign of endearment. He was always rather formal. The friendliest his language got was using "kun" with Light, as a sign of their mock-friendship.
I just HAD to get that off my chest, because it was annoying me really bad and will make an otherwise good story seem out-of-character and unprofessional. If you don't like honorifics, you don't have to write them at all. No one will blame you for dropping them. This is an English-language story, and adding Japanese to it won't make it seem smarter, or more professional (In my opinion, it has the opposite effect).
Anyway, I'm not dissing your story, lyke. It's just this one little thing. I couldn't actually get myself to continue reading it with Ryuzaki calling himself "Ryuzaki-sama". It's just wrong. Like I said, it will make a potentially good story seem OOC.