Bobbing for Apples

BY : Fufa Anderson
Category: Death Note > General
Dragon prints: 5534
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Light basically barged into the building, melodramatically slumping into the chair in front of all the computers next to L. In all honesty, it was a little over the top. All that was really missing was the back of his hand resting on his brow in a woe-is-me fashion. He sighed as the detective stared at the screens, sucking mindlessly on a spoon in his mouth, dripping some gooey liquid of unknown origins. Whatever it was, it was sure to be so pumped full of sugar it would send a sloth dashing half a continent. How can he eat all that stuff without getting a stomach ache? L took a mental note of where he was and let his eyes wander to the usually composed man that was now basically melted into the chair. "Does Light-kun need to talk about something?" The older man asked quite forwardly, spinning his chair so he did not have to turn his head in order to see the man. Light was a clever boy, perfect in nearly every way. L just had one problem with him - he was mass murderer Kira in disguise. L just had no way to prove it. It really seemed too ironic that they would casually talk and even work together on a case to find Kira, when the most believable suspect - the only suspect, was one of the leading minds in the case. The other leading mind in the case, of course, would be him. World reknowned detective L.

"Misa is just so overbearing and therefor annoying. When she's not worshipping me, she's planning 'our' future for me or talking about girl stuff I couldn't give a damn about if I dedicated my life to it." Light rolled his eyes. Really usually he was much more composed than this and in all honesty he was acting a little more than really necessary. Sure, Misa was bothering him but he was mainly doing it to scream out 'Look at me, I'm human!' He had a feeling it wasn't going to work very well but he had to try anyway. Truth was, he was Kira again but he did not want to seem suspicious since the time he touched the Death Note. He had to keep up the facade that he had never been Kira, or at least that he still did not remember ever being Kira.

"Is Light admitting he likes to be worshiped by Misa? This makes sense, considering that someone who is simple enough to consider himself a god would like acknowledgment and praise from at least one person since he is currently hiding from the world. One can see why this would be ideal for Kira."

Light rolled his eyes. "Ryuuzaki, that was not an admission to me being Kira. I just mean she's very annoying and very daft."

L stared at the other for a moment before saying what seemed to be obvious. "Then why do you still stay with Misa if you do not not like her so? Unless she is indeed the second Kira, Light-kun being original. Therefore, if Misa was dumped by Kira, she would reveal that you are in fact one and the same."

Light only let out one solitary dry laugh. "Don't be ridiculous, I just mean that it's only a slight bit less annoying than her telling me about much she loves me, how she can't wait until we're married - though I never asked her, and how sad she is that she never gets to spend time with me. She's actually jealous of you."

A blank stare crossed the pale detective's face in slight shock. Not that his stare didn't always look blank but something was different about this one. Perhaps it was the fact that his mouth was slightly hanging open. "Misa is jealous of me?" His eyes seemed larger or maybe his iris and pupil had become smaller. The pupil could have dilated but it was impossible to tell with the onyx eyes. In any case, his eyes unchanged as he pretended he wasn't very curious as to why she would be jealous of him. She was a pretty girl with fame and fortune, not to mention the power to kill. She also had Light's attention; even if it was forced. Why would she be jealous when she's the one who owns him. He shook off the thought without moving, thinking himself as silly.

"She seems to think that we are together way too much. Somehow in her pebble sized brain there's a connection between time spent together and attraction..." Though L's eyes didn't (most likely because it wasn't possible) get bigger, they felt like they were bulging out of his sockets. The suspected Kira did not notice. "She doesn't seem to take into account that we are both very much male." With that, L's head automatically looked down at his own feet, his two index fingers tapped together in front of him as if ashamed.

"There are times when two people of the same gender have sex or even relationships, Light-kun." He hadn't tried to make such an obvious display so he immediately tried to cover it up. "Anyways, Light, you cannot assume my gender." A tint of a smile hinted on his lips but he was looking down so Light could not see. Wiping it off he looked Light in the eyes. "What proof do you have of me being male?"

Light only rolled his eyes. "Of course you're a guy. Don't play games with me. Everyone prefers to your as a guy, your name is Ryuuzaki."

"Ryuuzaki is an alias, Light. And even so, Ryuu is spelled with two u's, which is a feminine version. And before you say L keep in mind that nothing gets more unisex than a singular letter." L quickly regarded. "I also have never referred to myself as either 'kun' or 'chan', though if I did it could hardly be called an admission of gender, considering they are not exact lines."

Light was starting to get utterly confused. Is he really a she? "Impossible. You don't have breasts or the hips for it!" Light yelled at L but at the same time was answering himself. He realized he was yelling and calmed down, looking at the older man in anticipation for an answer.

"Perhaps you have never heard of androgyny. I am unaware how you would be aware of my more intimate features considering the apparel I wear. That is, of course, unless Light-kun peeked at me during his time chained to me." That signature stare refused to move, waiting for an answer./

Light was becoming flustered. He did not in any case peek at L. Not because the detective had told him not to, the detective didn't seem to care. It was out of personal choice he did not look when L would unlock the cuffs and attach them to somewhere still in sight of L, usually the towel bar. Light would turn away on his own accord. Suddenly, he wished he did not do that. It's not like L had not seen him naked multiple times, such as when he was in the shower before turning it on. L would cuff him to the shower head and uncuff him afterwards. L stayed in the bathroom during these times but there was a screen between them. Gaw, now I'm curious. I wish I had accidentally seen his... her... genitals! Then he felt ashamed for thinking something like that. He realized he hadn't answered yet, which may seem like he wasn't denying it. With a serious tone, he declared "No, I haven't, so you're a girl?" He asked, looking up the person in question.

L had returned back to his work and was eating his sweets. "I never said that, Light." The dark haired man took another bite, smiling lightly over his spoon. He was rather enjoying himself. "I could me male, I could be female. I hardly see how it matters." He glanced to the man sitting next to him. "I mean, it's not like you would have any interest in me if I was indeed female." His eyes moved back to the screens.

"Of course not!" Kira burst out much more loudly than he expected then realized that he was being way too defensive over that. It's not true, that doesn't mean I need to go shouting about it. "I'm tired, I'm going to go to bed. Goodnight, Ryuuzaki." He waved then stalked out of the room and up to his own suite. He wasn't tired but he usually wasn't when he went to sleep at home. He knew, however, he wouldn't get to sleep for hours. He undressed into his boxers and lay on his bed under the covers. It was strange. He couldn't sleep recently except for a few hours a night. He had become so used to Ryuuzaki being near him, sitting quietly on the bed. It was an unwelcome presence that annoyed him but now he found that he had a hard time changing back. He didn't miss it but he certainly did miss sleep.

Sighing, he reached under his boxers and idly played with himself. Not really that he was horny but it was something to do - and maybe an orgasm would help him sleep. He stroked himself lightly but it didn't do much good. He became slightly less flaccid but that was about it. He had no porn so he resorted to petting himself to thoughts of scandalous women but like usual that didn't work. He closed his eyes and just enjoyed the sensations, imagining lips, lips he couldn't see due to his eyes being closed even within his fantasies. They worked his way up and down his cock, the tongue licking lightly where his thumb went. A soft sigh broke the silence as he imagined someone else cupping his balls as he did that with his left hand. The blanket had made its way to his knees somehow but he didn't realize. He worked himself over for ten minutes before he finally went rigid, his balls having spasms and white liquid spurting forth from him. As he let the orgasm take him, so did sleep. He opened his eyes for a moment - or he thought he did - as a dream began. He looked down at his cock and instead of seeing his hands he saw two black and white orbs looking up to him. "L?" He mumbled as he turned onto his side and fell asleep, letting a different dream take him.

Downstairs those two monochrome orbs were staring at a screen, larger than the moon. His thumb ran over his lip as he repeated. "'L?'?" He was a clever detective that had just been blown out of the water. What just happened?


Fufa's Notes:

Okay, for one. I hate Hate HATE honorifics. I'll probably drop them later. EDIT: Ampicillin gave me a review harshly telling me I suck at using them, so I significantly changed how people said each others names, including themselves. I hope that makes it better.
Dos, I totally stole this idea from someone else. If someone finds the original fic this was from, give me a link so I can tell people to go there. Personally, I had an issue with it. I don't usually read one shots and furthermore I require sweaty mansex. D: But I loved the plotline.
Tre, I do not own Death Note. I don't own anything. Copics, laptop, Zen. That's it.

Thanks for reading, hope to see you review.

EDIT: Fixed some errors in the formatting. ♥

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