rate_review Reviews

Yet another excellent story. Thank you again, I'm looking forward to reading the next installment!

I think that this was the best chapter yet, and most unexpected! Everyone, including myself, has been calling for Tsukune to be more aggressive; however you showed a downside to that. like I said most unexpected, also quite clever. I really liked this chapter and how you handled it.

Now, that being said I'm not suggesting a rewrite of the tsukune character, I just think that no guy hes to be dragged through every step of the love making process, especially after being told to do whatever he wanted!

At this point Tsukune has gained some experience, and should be able to use that experience to make the girls he's with very happy!

My apologies for the belated update.

I finally caught up to this story and overall I would call it a win.

However, Tsukune's lack of being more aggressive and resorting to his 'pansy' type ways is really starting to annoy (this was a problem with me in the anime as well which resulted in me not even bothering to watch it again). I know that you are keeping with his character which is a good thing, but this is just one of those 'pet peeves' so to speak that really gets on my nerves.

I can only hope in the future he mans up more and stops being a pansy.

Good work either way.

I liked this story, I hope you keep writing. You manage to keep the characters' personality intact, even with some tweaks due to what's going on. :) I especially liked the writing with Inner Moka.

This one was really great, but I still think Tsukune needs to man up and be more aggressive, you can only be a wuss for so long.

You do have me curious as too how Inner Moka will react to Tsukune's declaration of love for all the girls.

I'm sure you're wondering why it's taken so long for me to review chapter 2. The truth is I really enjoyed chapter 2, except for one part which pissed me off.

Yes, yes, I know to say it pissed me off is really harsh but I only say that because I expect so much better from you!

So what was it that upset me so much? It was one word at the end of a seemingly innocuous sentence.
(Eventually, the need for air necessitated the end of their long-awaited first kiss. Both panted and gasped greedily for air, his brown eyes locked with her seafoam ones.) To use the word "ones" here! it's almost as bad as saying "these ones" or "those ones"! It's a literary travesty; I was horrified to see that you had actually written that. Not to mention the complete and total lack of imagination it shows.

You know me my friend, you know I love your writing style, but I'm not a fan poodle! I will always tell you how things are. Don't get lazy, don't take shortcuts! You are way better than that!

I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

a very good way to start the story. :) it felt like I was reading an episode of R+V, it was a lot of fun!

of course in the next episode, I mean chapter, looks like it will be even more fun! :3