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for Sweet tempation [Fate]

by D-lilith

schedule August 24, 2022 at 12:00 AM

Okay, I'm a sucker for Rider stories, so that naturally caught my interest.  The overall story is decent, and maybe even good, but I think it's just a bit too short.  It would have been nice to see a touch more buildup with a little more foreplay, even if Rider is dom'ing Shirou, maybe a hint more description of both of their bodies and maybe a bit more of the sensations to really sell the entire scene.  Still if you have a second chapter for the rest of the night's actions, it could be expanded there.

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