To End a Life | By : miya Category: Gensomaden Saiyuki > General Views: 3588 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
His violet gaze remained unwavering, and his eyes, not once, blinked, as he kept his visual hold upon the cold weapon in his palm. It gleamed with the shine of purest silver as it caught the blaze of the setting sun through the open window.
And there it lay, snug in the curves of his warm hand. Slowly, his fingers clasped around it, finally breaking through his focus.
The sky was an intense shade of orange, and soon it would turn to hues of radiant pink and purple. He turned to look out the window where his bed stood adjacent, and heaved a sigh. His robe was off his shoulders and hanging around his waist, his torso hugged with the fitting black tank. He remembered the sutra.
So long had it been since the night he chose to leave the temple. Too long - since he’d easily chosen the compact pistol as protection for his first journey alone; to keep him alive at least till he reached the foot of the mountain. At best, it served more comfort and security than remaining in a temple full of monks, so vulnerable to demonic ambush, and yet unable to utilise what they termed “Dharmic Powers” to keep themselves from danger’s eye.
The silver gun had only fulfilled half its purpose; its owner had more than simply protection to worry about when he made his decision. But out of the entire armoury, it was perfect. Its size alone was the biggest factor, and at that bleak moment, nothing would be better. It was the perfect size – should he want to end his existence; should he want to end it all. Oh, the irony.
But not once had he pulled the trigger for that cause. Not once.
Because he had a mission to accomplish. And it still wasn’t over. Why, he wondered, were they still heading west, and after so long, found nothing? Every other day his finger itched. And while he delayed, he’d found companions who made sure he didn’t put the gun to his head. There was Goku, Gojyo, and –
“It’s not healthy to stay cooped up in the room all day, Sanzo.”
Hakkai. The mother figure of the group, ever polite, ever patient. The one, whom he suspected, could read his thoughts. His lip curled mildly as Hakkai slid quietly into the room.
“What is it?”
The other man smiled serenely. That smile again. That mysterious gesture he’d always display. That misleading pull at the lips, always hiding his true purpose, always keeping people puzzling. But dressed in his plain grey shirt and white pants, he looked more than innocent with that smile. Yet he wasn’t harmless.
“Just checking on you – you missed dinner.”
“And?”
He tucked the pistol back into his robes where they belonged, and eyed Hakkai warily, leaning his back against the wall. They should have been accustomed to his mood swings by now. True, he wasn’t in the mood for anything. Although there was no rain, the weapon itself was a cruel reminder.
“Goku and Gojyo have gone out to get our supplies.”
He arched a brow. Such was Hakkai – sometimes predictable, other times not. Yet, also the one who understood him the most. And he was reliable. More than the others, at least. And he knew when to shut up. Always calm, and somewhat independent. Sanzo valued that in his companion. Of course, the sensibility and occasional talks added extra credit. Although Sanzo never talked much, Hakkai never once failed to put him in better spirits. This he had to admit.
Hakkai pulled a chair to sit by Sanzo’s bed, and removed his monocle, gently resting it upon the soft sheets. The fiery light played on the ebony of his hair, tinting them a dark copper brown, and highlighted his emerald eyes. He maintained his smile.
Sanzo clicked his tongue, and lit a cigarette. He pressed the stick between his lips and inhaled, then blowing out a wisp of smoke.
“I’m fine.” He murmured, and took a moment to look at the man seated across him, before re-averting his attention back to the glow at the end of his cigarette. He did look oddly attractive this evening.
“Really?” Hakkai’s eyebrows raised in mock question. “I get the feeling you’re not being honest.”
The blonde frowned. “Don’t you already know that.”
“Ah, I believe I did.” He nodded, and his smile widened. “But Goku is beginning to ask questions again.” Hakkai laughed quietly and continued, “And I don’t know how to answer him anymore.” As if sheepish, he reached up and rubbed the back of his neck.
“Then tell him of your ignorance. He doesn’t need to know, anyway. Stupid monkey.”
“Oh, you know I can’t do that. It wouldn’t look very good on my record, would
“There’s always a first. Fabricate something.”
Hakkai’s laughter rang clear and melodious through the still evening atmosphere. Pointless as their conversation was, Sanzo was remembering as much of it as possible. Was it a reflex? He couldn’t tell. But somehow he didn’t want to forget. As long as he remembered his time with Hakkai, he wouldn’t think of the unpleasant things. Not much, at any rate.
So often, Sanzo had his bad days and shut himself away without eating or coming out of the room. And hardly anyone dared to enter – save for Hakkai. Because he knew how to handle the monk. Because he knew what to say. And whether or not they would continue their journey, would depend on how well he could get Sanzo into a better mood. Now used to it, Hakkai would just take the opportunity to steal glances at their leader. He found the eyes alluring. And that deadpan expression Sanzo always had on – only seemed to look more beautiful each time over. Also, as a bonus, he’d learnt that Sanzo could never turn him away as easily as he did with the other two.
“You know I’m a lousy liar, Sanzo. Even Goku would see right through me.”
“Tch, you’re a liar, all right.” He was at it again. As was everyone else. All trying to figure out what exactly went on in Sanzo’s mind. But if it was Hakkai…
“You really want to know, don’t you.”
Hakkai shook his head, and he looked toward the window. After remarking about the weather, he sighed. “No I don’t. We all have our own secrets to keep. It’s not important enough to be publicised. Besides, they wouldn’t be called secrets if people knew them, would they?”
“And what about yours?”
Sanzo held his hand out of the window and tapped his cigarette, letting the ash fall, and get caught by the breeze along the way. Against the sun, he seemed to have the aura of a God, a barely visible halo around his head. As always, he was beautiful. Hakkai smiled inwardly.
“I don’t have any.”
Such a lie. He knew the blonde was attractive despite the grumpy attitude. He had charisma, and not even Gojyo could deny that. But somewhere beneath that, Hakkai found himself liking Sanzo more than the normal individual would. But that was his secret. That was his lie.
Sanzo caught his eye, suspecting, sceptical. Hakkai was a mystery. An attractive kind. The type whereby one had to stop at nothing to get to the bottom of things. He never understood why he kept company like Hakkai. But he’d grown to appreciate it; like it. He valued them eventually, but perhaps a little more with the brunette.
He pushed himself off the support of the wall, and sat with his legs over the side of the bed, feet on the floor. Now they were not looking at each other, but in opposite directions as they sat side by side in silence.
“Or so you claim.” Sanzo said after a long pause.
“I’m being honest.”
“I wouldn’t be too sure.”
Now that the distance between the two had somewhat narrowed, Hakkai could catch a faint trace of Sanzo’s scent as a light squall came in through the window. He deepened his silent breath, taking utmost care to be as discreet as possible. He turned slightly, passing another smile to the one at his side. The latter caught his eye, and he felt a pull in his gut. He was lured, by an invisible force that seemed to originate from the vivid violet orbs. Slowly, his smile dissolved.
Sanzo’s gaze was intense and piercing, but he found himself being thrown into the lion’s den, looking at Hakkai that way. The man’s gentleness and concern was evident and pure as their eyes bored into each others’. He felt a sharp pain at his index and middle fingers, and tore himself from the silent contact. Realising his cigarette had burned all the way, he released the butt and dusted his hand.
“Does it still hurt?”
“What are you talking about? Of course it hurts.”
“Inside as well?”
His question evoked an immediate response, as Sanzo whipped out the pistol and pointed it straight to his throat. How was it that Hakkai read him so well? He wanted to know. He wanted to know how Hakkai could be that understanding to the point of being incomprehensible. He wanted to know why he didn’t feel angry enough to pull the trigger on the one that knew what he thought.
“Do it if it will make you happy,” Hakkai smiled, “If taking my life will take the misery from you then do it. At least it would be better off me than you.”
Sanzo grit his teeth, and dropped the weapon to the floor. He couldn’t bear to. While he could open fire at the other two at point blank – this was something that he found difficult.
“Sanzo, I just want you to know you can’t stay like this.” Hakkai placed a gentle hand on Sanzo’s, before pushing the chair back, preparing to leave. He claimed his monocle and slid it into his pocket.
“Try to get better before they return.”
He turned to go, slightly disappointed that he couldn’t do much this time. He couldn’t seem to understand – how Sanzo would take his advice when it came to travel matters, but wouldn’t listen to things that concerned his inner turmoil. Hakkai sighed, and then gasped in surprise, as a hand tightened around his wrist and pulled him down, where Sanzo’s lips caught his.
The man was sweet and easily won, and as Sanzo forced his tongue into the cavern of his mouth, the rapture of their tongue’s brushing caused him to ache between his legs. So immersed was he that he unwittingly pushed the other man to lie below him, and when he tore away for a breath of air, he’d noticed a pair of arms around his neck, and a subtle loving gaze from the face an inch away from his.
Hakkai was impressed, and grateful. At least he knew he was accepted the way he’d secretly wished for. The blonde hovered above him, evidently hesitant and shocked. But they’d gotten this far, and he wasn’t looking forward to tearing up their friendship by pushing himy. Hy. He smiled instead, and slowly pulled the blonde back to his lips, assuring him by suckling lightly upon his soft flesh, and eventually letting Sanzo’s tongue penetrate his mouth once again.
And he was worried Hakkai would force him off. After all, this wasn’t normal. In all sense of the word. But by the second kiss he’d closed his eyes and thrown all caution to the wind, and let himself drown in his lust. His hands slid under Hakkai’s loose shirt and moved upward. Blindly, he smoothed his palms over the scar that stretched across the once flawless abdomen, pulling the shirt further and further up as his hands explored his new discovery. He finally pulled it over Hakkai’s head, breaking their kiss.
Hakkai’s lips were now a dark red, fly sly swollen from the crushing from Sanzo’s, and he moaned as Sanzo ground against him sensually, feeling his hardness arousing his own. He tilted his neck, as the monk beach suckling on his sofle sle skin, sending ripples of pleasure through his slim physique.
A red bruise tainted the cream of Hakkai’s neck by the time Sanzo left it, and he smirked. He had marked his property well. He proceeded, planting kisses down his lover’s neck, where they gradually became feather-light as he closed in on the taut, brown peaks.
The brunette had let his eyes draw close, and had begun to breathe harder. His fingers ran through blonde strands, as he felt the warmth of Sanzo’s lips clamp down on a sensitive nipple. It was now his turn to grind earnestly against the other’sin, in, while his captor’s tongue worked slow, teasing circles around his sensitive nub, fingers playing around the other, rolling it beneath the comforting pressure of a slightly calloused thumb.
He whimpered, as Sanzo’s free hand travelled further down, gently stroking at the bubetwbetween his legs. He’d pushed his hips upward at the initial contact against the pressing palm, which withdrew immediately. He opened his eyes, and his brows pulled into a frown, to look up at a smirking blonde. Oh, the arrogance. Sanzo was in complete charge and enjoyed every minute of it. He enjoyed teasing his prey.
Hakkai stared up into hungry violet pools and begged silently for Sanzo’s touch. But in return came a casual brush of the lips and a husky whisper into his ear.
“Beg me.”
He saw the corner of Sanzo’s pink lips pull upwards into a haughty smirk. He’d wanted to refuse, but the hot breath of his dominator travelled down his neck, and the lips brushed against the skin of his neck once more, and he felt a seductive smile mold against his skin. It was more than he needed.
“Please…” He whimpered, “Sanzo…”
He changed his mind. Sanzo decided it was enough. Hakkai’s voice, mingled between breaths, drove him wild. He felt his own leather pants to be increasingly tight, yet reminded himself – just a little more. He hadn’t had enough fun.
The hand returned to the sensitive area between Hakkai’s legs, and Sanzo’s fingers spreadng tng the prominent hardness through the soft fabric. Hakkai’s eyes drew shut again, and he moaned, ignorant of the effect his sounds had on the blonde. He raised his hips in earnest, and let Sanzo’s hands trail over his hip bones, sliding the white c ove over their slight curves and down the rest of his legs.
Naked and basking in the light of a sunset, Sanzo had never seen anything more beautiful thakkaikkai. His Hakkai. He paused all ministrations upon the male beneath him, and took a moment to admire the fair skin, the narrow shoulders, the small beads of sweat formed upon the forehead, the remnant of undeserved violence, and down further, to the arousal that demanded so much attention.
Hakkai felt a slight chill, and his eyes looked up, and now Sanzo looked so different. It was no longer the grumpy face he pulled around, but there was a faint trace of a smile, and a lot of lust. Which made him blush. When Sanzo hadn’t moved, he had to ask.
“Sanzo…?”
The call of his name pulled him back to his place above the brunette, and he ignored it. Instead he slid down the man’s lithe frame, leaving a hot trail of breath along the abdomen, and finally breathing upon Hakkai’s swollen member.
Ha fel felt the hot air travel down his length and shuddered, as his hips rose slightly in a silent plea to be touched where he wanted it most. This, Sanzo agreed to do. He traced Hakkai’s length with a steady finger, and bent down to place a soft kiss on its head. He heard Hakkai force down a cry. He smirked. His lips parted, and his tongue slid out, lashing at where his lips left. This brought forth a gasp, and the arch of Hakkai’s back.
“Shhh….” He whispered.
Sanzo dragged his tongue along the length of his subject, and held his writhing captive down by the moving hips. The feel of Sanzo’s tongue against his taught skin was bringing about heightening levels of pleasure, which were further intensified as he felt the warmth of Sanzo’s mouth slide over his erection. He thrust his hip, wanting to go deeper into the wet mouth, wanting to feel more of Sanzo’s tongue.
The blonde took in as much of Hakkai’s heated meat as he could; tasting him, teasing him. His tongue swirled around its thickness, and over its head. It throbbed in his mouth, as he began to suck. He heard Hakkai give up on restraining his moans, and it cajoled him to work faster. The time for teasing was over. His mouth coated Hakkai’s member in a layer of saliva, and as he increased the pressure of his suckling, he tasted a little of Hakkai’s essence. The brunette had begun to move his hips at a rhythm, and Sanzo’s hands had long released them from his hold. Now they assisted his mouth, working faster, driving Hakkai higher, till the latter reached orgasm, and dug his ankles into the bed as the feeling washed over him. He fell back onto the softness of the bed, his hips still moving slowly against the movement of Sanzo’s mouth.
He felt wet, as Sanzo’s hands spread his ejaculation over his sex, coaxing it’s still throbbing body into yet another state of hardness. Sanzo’s face came into view once more, and Hakkai smiled, leaning up to kiss his lips, resting on his elbows. He tasted his own salt, kissed even more passionately. He moaned freely into the exchange, as he felt Sanzo’s hands spreading the liquid past his already hard member, and down to where it trickled – to his tight opening.
Hakkai pulled away from the kiss as he felt a finger push into his entrance, eliciting from him a sharp gasp. He drew his knees up, and wrapped his arms tighter around Sanzo’s neck. Sanzo slid in another finger, gently stretching him open. As his fingers moved within, Hakkai found himself aching more and more, and felt as though he would explode if it was left alone. He whimpered, begging for release.
And Sanzo couldn’t hold it any longer. He withdrew from Hakkai, and removed his clothes, freeing his strained erection from the tightness of his pants. He was beautiful, and now Hakkai could reach up and touch his lover – along the smooth plane of his chest, and the demanding organ between the thighs.
Sanzo drew a sharp intake of breath as Hakkai’s gentle fingers touched him nervously, but pushed the hand away, and lifted his lover’s hiand and spread his legs. His fingers returned to where they initially were, tracing at the tight skin of Hakkai’s opening.
Hakkai felt his heart thumping harder against his chest, as Sanzo stretched him again. He writhed. Then the fingers retracted, and were replaced by something much harder, much thicker – much hotter. Pain seared through him and he cried out, before Sanzo silenced him with a kiss, forcing his mouth open with a stronger tongue.
So tight, Sanzo thought, as his brows furrowed, and he resisted the urge to ram his erection in with all his strength. He pushed slowly, listening to Hakkai’s cries into the kiss, trying to soothe him with his tongue alone. Once he was fully enveloped within the hot cavern, he broke the kiss and paused, allowing Hakkai to get used to the intrusion, while the latter’s hands gripped at the sheets.
The brunette’s breathing was laboured, and his skin covered with a sheen of sweat. His fingers dug into Sanzo’s shoulders and left imprints when they relaxed their hold.
“Are you ready?” Sanzo’s voice was low and came from deep in his throat. It was soothing to Hakkai, and he closed his eyes and nodded. He wrapped his legs around Sanzo’s slim waist and waited.
The blonde then began to pull out of Hakkai, and thrust back in just before he was totally out. He pressed his body against his lover’s, and rocked against him, feeling the tight grip of Hakkai’s canal pressing against his aching arousal.
The pain only lasted a moment, and he began to feel the same sort of rapture as before, as Sanzo’s hand slid in between their sweat-slicked bodies and wrapped his hard sex. The hand assumed a pumping motion, moving in synch with Sanzo’s thrusts. The pressure built up again, and Hakkai urged Sanzo to move faster.
Sanzo complied, and increased his pace, Hakkai’s moaning driving him up the wall. He now moved mercilessly at the sound of his partner’s arousing cries, banging relentlessly against a certain spot within which made Hakkai cry even louder into his ear. He was losing control of himself, and Hakkai was doing it to him. His hands moved faster as he did, and the two men moved against each other, lost in their passion, losing themselves in a world where they were the only ones.
“Sanzo…”
Hakkai’s moaning now took on a different form. They were desperate, and mingled with many cries of his name. His seed was leaking from his erection, and Sanzo’s stroking was making the wet touch exceedingly erotic. He wanted more of Sanzo, and moved harder against his thrusts, wanting him deeper, as he felt himself nearing the edge.
Sanzo kept his pace, but increased his strength as Hakkai’s moaning drove him to the point of insanity. He went wild, and as Hakkai’s member twitched in his hand, he gave it a final pump, and felt Hakkai shudder and come into his hand and over their stomachs, his inner walls clamping down on his manhood, applying the final pressure that pushed him over the limit. Such was the delirium, and he thrust one last time as the powerful climax racked through his body, exploding in him, as he shot his hot seed deep into Hakkai, who cried Sanzo’s name with exhausted satisfaction.
Both men collapsed into the sheets, and Hakkai’s tired legs slid down from Sanzo’s waist as the blonde pulled out of him. Their breathing was erratic, and they only heard their heartbeats in their ears. Hakkai moved his hands around Sanzo’s neck and kissed the blonde hair, his eyes, his mouth. He buried his face into the crook of the slender neck and inhaled deeply.
This was Sanzo’s scent. This was what he wanted. And now it was their secret; it was their lie.
Sanzo’s hand reached up to stroke his partner’s face.
“Hakkai.”
“Yes?”
“How did you know.”
He looked at the pink and purple shades of the sky and shrugged as Sanzo rolled off him to the side, and he rested his head against the rise and fall of the smooth chest.
“I hope you’re still not thinking of shooting yourself.”
“Tch, why the hell would I?”
Hakkai shrugged again.
The monk merely scoffed. No, he wouldn’t be thinking of that. At least not in the near future. Not when he had Hakkai. To pull the trigger on either of them would mean the end of their relationship. To end a life would be a mistake he wouldn’t live to regret.
Hakkai shifted.
“Sanzo?”
“What?”
“I think Goku and Gojyo are back…”
“Leave it.”
“But they wouldn’t want to see us like this.”
“I’ll shoot them before they see anything.”
“So you would…”
“I will.”
** rambling **
Even the biggest of Gojyo / Sanzo shippers will have to eat their words someday. >.< But this idea was bouncing around in my head for far too long. And in case you’re wondering about the quality – it’s not there because I started on this at 1 in the morning and didn’t stop till I finished it. XD ~~ C&C would be much appreciated. Congrats on surviving. ^.~ Thanks for reading!
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