AFF


menu
  • homeHome
  • insert_commentForums
  • account_boxLogin
    • account_boxLogin

      groupRegister
      cachedForgot Password
    • homeSite
      chrome_reader_modeNews
      groupMember Directory search
      library_booksT.O.S.
      listContent Guidelines
      photo_albumDMCA Info
      reportAbuse
      mail_outlineContact
      help_outlineF.A.Q.
      helpSupport
      peopleSupporters
      monetization_onDonate
      webFacebook
    • question_answerForums
      insert_commentForums Index
      chat_bubble_outlineNews in Forum
      chat_bubble_outlineContests
      chat_bubble_outlineSearching for stories?
      chat_bubble_outlineChallenges & Requests
      chat_bubble_outlineDribs, Drabs, and Doggy Tales
      chat_bubble_outlineAdopt a Story
      chat_bubble_outlineRequest a Category
      chat_bubble_outlineStory Codes
      chat_bubble_outlineHall of Shame
      chat_bubble_outlineF.A.Q.
      chat_bubble_outlineSupport
    • bookArchives
      bookmark_borderAnime
      bookmark_borderGundam, Beyblade, DBZ, FMA
      bookmark_borderBooks
      bookmark_borderBleach
      bookmark_borderBuffy/Angel
      bookmark_borderCartoons
      bookmark_borderComics
      bookmark_borderCelebrity Fiction
      bookmark_borderFinal Fantasy
      bookmark_borderGames
      bookmark_borderHarry Potter
      bookmark_borderInuyasha
      bookmark_borderLord of the Rings
      bookmark_borderManga
      bookmark_borderMovies
      bookmark_borderNaruto
      bookmark_borderNon-English
      bookmark_borderOriginals
      bookmark_borderTelevision
      bookmark_borderMarvel 'Verse
      bookmark_borderYu-Gi-OH
      bookmark_borderYuYu Hakusho
    • burst_modeAdvertising
      graphic_eqView Your Banner Stats
      graphic_eqAdvertising Information
      graphic_eqSupport
  • For suddenly, I saw you there

    By : BarbaraSheridan
    Category: +M to R > Peace Maker Kurogane
    Views: 3357
    -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
    Disclaimer: I do not own Peace Maker Kurogane, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
  • Chapter List
    • 1-For suddenly, I saw you there
    • 1






  • (I guess this is technically
    another PeaceMaker fic but since they haven’t responded to my request for a PMK
    category I’ll put it here with RK.
    don’t own Okita or Hijikata or their
    fictional counterparts in PMK. I got the title from a quote site and it’s
    supposed to be from the composer George Gershwin not sure if its part of a song
    but it fits....)DISCLAIMER--I do not own the characters or PMK)



     



     



    For suddenly, I saw you there



     



    by



    BarbaraSheridan



     



     



     



    Mibu 1865



     



    "I was nine,"
    Okita said in a tone so unlike his usual cheerful one. "I...was
    nine."



     



    "I understand
    now," he continued when Toshizou Hijikata failed to comment."You
    don't want to repeat the mistake you
    made with me."



     



    The words haunted Toshi, and
    as the hours dragged silently by they cut deeper with each echoed repetition.
    What could he have done, how could he possibly have said anything to explain or
    excuse what he'd done to Souji so long ago.



     



    Souji had been a child, an
    innocent little lamb of a thing so eager to please, to be accepted by the much
    older boys at the Sheiken dojo. He'd hung around the place like a lost puppy
    waiting for any scrap of attention they showed him. And when Toshi jokingly put
    the sword into his tiny hands he never thought little Souji would have the
    strength to hold it let alone master it by the time he turned thirteen.



     



    The boy had spent untold
    hours practicing until he was too exhausted to stand, until his hands were raw
    and bleeding before the callouses formed and toughened enough to shield him
    from the rubbing of the katana's corded hilt.



     



    Toshi had been there the
    night Souji Okita killed his first man. It had been a bandit who'd set upon
    them as they were walking home after a festival. They were lightheaded from to
    much sake and not nearly as attentive as they'd normally be but when the man
    stepped into their path, demanded money and drew his katana, Souji acted out of
    instinct and sliced the man nearly in half before the poor bastard’s mind could
    register what such an “innocent child” had done to him.



    Souji hadn't said a word he
    simply stared down and watched the sea of blood spread and soak into the ground
    at their feet.



     



    But that night, in the wee
    hours just before dawn Toshi had heard him crying. He'd made his way to Souji's
    room and found the boy in tears, grief-stricken as the child he still was
    finally realized what the hitokiri within him had done.



     



    Friendly concern made him
    reach out to wipe Souji's tears and instinct caused the boy to cling to the
    strong supportive young man before him, but before long, before either of them
    thought to question the primal force that motivated them they were naked and
    entangled in each other's arms; their
    bodies, sweating, aching, yearning for what the other alone could give.....



     



    That had been so long ago and
    yet the memory of it was as fresh as if it had happened only moments ago.
    Exhaling a beleaguered breath, Toshi sat up, wiped the sheen of sweat from his
    brow and looked towards the door closing off the corridor that led to the other
    Shinsengumi leaders' quarters.



     



    He slipped into Souji's room
    needing no light to tell him where to step to avoid the futon or pile of books
    that were stacked near it. He'd slipped in here in the dead of night many times
    as Souji had done to his own room.



     



    "It's only me," he
    whispered when he heard the scrape of a
    sword being drawn in the darkness. "I forgot a paper in here
    yesterday, go back to sleep. I didn't mean to wake you."



     



    "Liar," came the
    soft reply.



     



    His eyes adjusting to the
    pale moonlight outside the high window, Toshi watched Souji's shadowy form sit
    up, knees bent, arms wrapped around them. Ignoring his own inner advice he sat
    beside the younger man and simply stared while so many things flooding his mind
    like a play of their lives being reenacted before his mind's eye.



     



    "I'm sorry," he
    said at last.



     



    "It's all right. I
    wasn't that sleepy."



     



    "That's not what I
    meant," Toshi whispered back, wishing he'd stayed the imulse to come in
    here.



     



    "I know," Souji
    said, resting his chin upon his bent knees."Am I really so awful that you
    want to spare Tetsu-kun from becoming like me?"



     



    Without a forethought Toshi
    reached out and place his hand gently on Souji's head. "It isn't that at
    all."



     



    "Then what is it?"
    Souji asked, his dark eyes opened wide and full of infinite sadness.



     



    Toshi let his fingers glide
    down Souji's cheek. "I just want to spare him the pain I caused you. I
    can't take your pain away but if I could...."



     



    Souji closed his eyes and
    held Toshi's hand against his cheek. "I can deal with the pain as long as
    you're by my side," he said softly, taking hold of Toshi's hand and
    tenderly kissing the calloused palm. "I've been able to deal with everything
    as long as you're with me..."



     



    # # # #



     



    1868



     



    If only I could be with
    you now.
    If only things had turned
    out differently, if only you hadn’t gotten sick. If only...



    It was Hajime Saitou whom
    he’d last seen at Toba Fushimi some
    months before. Saitou’s gaze flitted towards the note Toshi held in his hand.
    Understanding, he opened it and read.



     



    Okita-san’s spirit is
    shrouded in darkness and it cries out for you. He hasn’t much time in this
    world. He’s at the quarantine hospital in Edo. Nagakura’s sister is his nurse.
    She’s been by his side for days not wanting him to be alone when the end comes.
    Go if you can.



    Toshi made a move to stand to
    question Saitou further but the other man shook his head and stood and Toshi
    saw why it had to be this way. Saitou was wearing a uniform reminiscent of
    those worn by the new Imperial military. So, the rumors he’d heard of his old
    friend and comrade were true. After
    Toba Fushimi Saitou had been captured and had been given amnesty by the
    new Ishin government due undoubtedly to his connection to former Bakufu high
    officials.



     



    In answer to the questioning
    look Saitou gave him Toshi nodded and lifted his sake cup.



     



    Toshi finished the sake then
    looked at the silver pocket watch he’d picked up when he’d bought this suit. If
    he started now he’d be in Edo before dawn.



     



    “His room overlooks the
    garden on the left side of the hospital at the rear,” Saitou said from the
    shadows when Toshi stepped outside.



     



    “When did you see him?”



     



    “I wasn’t there in person.
    His spirit came to me last night when I meditated.”



     



    “Ah,” Toshi said softly
    walking away, his surprise at the Mugai master’s unusual spiritual talents
    having dissipated long ago. “Thank you.”



     



    As he walked, Toshi checked
    the inside pocket of his jacket. There it was an extra copy of the one
    photograph he’d had taken just before coming here. He’d sent two copies back to
    his family in the hands of young
    Tetsu Ichimura partly to give
    them a remembrance, mainly to shield his ever loyal young page from the
    disaster that surely awaited up in Hakodate, where he’d planned to head tomorrow
    to join forces with Enomoto and the other Ishin resistors.



     



    It would be futile in the
    extreme, they were out manned, outgunned and yet Toshizou Hijikata’s warrior
    spirit would not allow him to quit the fight he’d begun so long ago. He’d vowed
    to fight the Ishin Scum then and planned to go to his grave doing just that
    now.



     



    For a moment he wondered if
    he’d feel the same way if Souji were well and with him. Would they have
    committed seppuku rather than surrender or be captured? Would they have escaped
    and embarked on this mad quest of rebellion together? Or would they have taken
    the practical outlook like Saitou and Nagakura and surrendered, taken the
    amnesty then faded into obscurity to live out their lives?



     



    You could still do that, a tiny voice whispered from deep within him.



     



    Perhaps. But then without
    Souji’s smiling face to wake to and fall asleep with there wasn’t much point in
    existing in this new Meiji world, was there?





    # # # #



     



    Edo



     



    Sneaking in to the quiet
    hospital was e and and a feeling as much as Saitou’s direction guided Toshi to
    the private room overlooking the garden.
    He slipped inside, crept to the side of the high western style bed where
    Shinpachi Nagakura’s elder sister sat dozing, her hand resting lightly
    atop Souji’s.



     



    He placed his hand gently
    upon her mouth and calmed her with a quick, whispered greeting when she started
    awake. She relaxed, her dark eyes brightening and he moved his hand.



     



    “Toshi-san, is it really you?
    It’s been years.”



     



    “A lifetime.”



     



    Midori Nagakura nodded and
    moved from the chair, motioning for him to sit. Her expression grew serious as
    her gaze skimmed Souji’s face then returned to his. “His waking moments are
    getting fewer, but his mind is clear. He usually wakes at dawn. I’ll see you’re
    not disturbed.”



     



    “Thank you.”



     



    When Midori left and the room
    was silent save for the labored breathing of Souji, and the faint stir of
    crickets outside in the garden did Toshi look at his friend and former lover. He
    reached out and took hold of the younger man’s hands that had once wielded a
    katana with incredible force.



     



    Souji had never been a big
    man but he was so thin and frail now. So pale, so weak looking that it tore
    Toshi’s heart to countless pieces. He’d trade places with Souji in a moment if
    only he could...



    His thoughts broke off when
    Okita stirred and he gave in to impulse and brought Souji’s hand to his
    lips.



     



    With a rasping breath and a
    half murmur Souji slowly forced open his eyes, blinking several times as if to
    focus his sight. “Dream,” he whispered. “Just a dream...” His eyelids slid
    closed once more.



     



    “It’s no dream, koishii.
    I’m here,” Toshi whispered, the fingers of his free hand skimming the side of
    Souji’s face as he’d done so many times in the past to wake him after slipping
    into his room.



    Inhaling sharply and coughing
    because of it, it took a moment for Souji to recover. But once he did he
    offered Toshi a smile to so loving and heartfelt that it brought the rarest of
    tears to the older samurai’s eyes.



     



    “You shouldn’t be here,”
    Souji said, trying to sit up. “I hear there’s a reward for you.”



     



    Toshi stood and helped him
    then sat on the edge of the bed. “I was close, I had to come to see you. I’m
    sorry I didn’t before—“



     



    “It couldn’t be helped.”
    Souji squinted and reached up to touch Toshi’s head as pink dawn light began to
    filter in the window. “You cut your
    hair. And those clothes...”



     



    “What was that Sannan used to
    say? I was always too fashion conscious?”



     



    Okita offered a half smile
    and Toshi regretted mentioning their old friend whom he ordered to commit
    seppuku. Okiad bad been the one to deliver the final blow to sever Yamanami’s
    head. If only he could go back....



     



    “No,” Souji said quietly as
    if reading his thoughts as he did so well. “No regrets. We agreed on that long
    ago.”



     



    Toshi nodded. “That we did.”
    A shiver ran through him when Souji ran his slim fingers through his shorter
    hair.



     



    “I think I like you this
    way,” he said skimming his fingertips down across Toshi’s neck to rest lightly
    upon his chest.



     



    Silence fell around them but
    it wasn’t an awkward or tense silence but the peaceful type of quiet intimacy
    that close friends and lovers shared.



     



    All too soon the tranquility
    was broken by a fit of coughing and Toshi watched impotently as Souji gave
    himself over to it, turning away, trying to discreetly hide the bloodied towel
    on the nightstand.



     



    There was still a trickle of
    blood at the left corner of Souji’s mouth and Toshi wiped it away with his
    fingers then bent to place a tender kiss upon Souji’s lips.



     



    “I feel so cold,” Souji
    whispered in a voice that was clearly weaker than before. “Would you...hold
    me?”



     



    Toshi sat further on the bed,
    shifting Souji so that he was nestled against him just the way they lay so many
    nights in the past.



     



    Souji breathed a familiar
    contented sigh and relaxed, drawing Toshi’s arms in front of him like a
    protective mantle.



     



    They were still laying
    together when Midori Shinpachi cin nin near noon to check on Okita.



     



    “He’s gone,” she said. “He’s
    grown cold.”



     



    “I know,” Toshi whispered. “I
    couldn’t bear to lem gom go.”



     



    Taking a deep breath and
    blinking back the tears he would not shed in front of another he finally
    released his hold on Souji. He lay him
    back, smoothed his dark hair from his pale, pale face and folded his hands
    across his chest. Almost as an afterthought he remembered the spare photo he
    had tucked in his jacket and placed it in Okita’s hands.



     



    “Could you see that this is
    buried with him?”



     



    “Of course.”



     



    # # # # #



    June 20, 1869



    Hakodate



    Toshizou Hijikata drove
    himself headlong through the fray at Fort Goryokaku , cutting down opponents
    with his katana in one hand, a pistol in the other. The chaos of battle
    engulfed him–-the crack of rifles, the screams of the injured and dying, the
    roar of charging horses, the sound of clashing steel, the acrid smell of
    gunpowder surrounded him.



     



    Without warning pain seared
    his chest, thigh and arm. Bullets. He
    felt them burn, strike bone, drive him to his knees. He cried out when another
    bullet grazed his temple.



     



    Suddenly the cacophony
    withdrew and a rush in his ears tore Toshi’s attention from the carnage around
    him, the feel of blood soaking through his clothing, the weakness engulfing
    him. He felt the warm June sun bathe his sweaty blood- streaked face.



     



    Toshi.....Toshi.....



     



    His vision blurring, Toshi
    struggled to look towards the voice that called to him. He knew that voice. It
    was...Souji’s voice...



     



    The pain was fading rapidly
    into the distance along with the chaotic noise of the battle. The sun grew stronger,
    his body grew stronger yet oddly lighter. He stood, though it felt as if he
    floated to his feet. He looked towards the northern stone wall of the fort to
    see a black cat staring at him.



     



    The cat hissed then purred
    and looked to the wall as a ivory mist seeped through the stones from somewhere
    on the other side. The mist swirled and thickened and in the center Souji Okita
    appeared.



     



    He looked wonderful, so
    bright and glowing and full of life. And he was smiling the bright ever boyish
    smile that never failed to warm Toshi’s hardened heart.



     



    Souji held out his hand. “Are you ready?”



     



    Toshi
    stepped—drifted–-forward his arm lifting of its own accord.
    “Ready?”



     



    Souji took his hand. It felt
    so solid, so comforting, so warm and full of untapped energy.



     



    Toshi shook his head, tried
    to clear his thoughts that were so unusually muddled. He tried to look behind
    him but an odd stern warning from Souji stopped hi:p>



     



    “No. Don’t look
    back.” His tone softened. “Leave it.
    Come with me. Stay with me. Please.”



     



    Toshi gazed at Souji’s
    youthful handsome face. He never could deny the younger man anything.
    He felt himself smile and went forward. He
    draped his arm around Souji’s shoulder and stepped with him through the vanishing
    stone wall.



     



    THE END



     



     



     



     



     



    &n]> 



     



     



     



     



     



     



     



     



     



     



     



     



     



     



     



    yes">



    • 1
  • You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
    Report Story
T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate
Adult-FanFiction.Org is not in any way associated with or related to FanFiction.Net

Adult-FanFiction.org (AFF, the site), its owners, agents, and any other entities related to Adult-FanFiction.org or the AFF forum take no responsibility for the works posted to the Adult-FanFiction.org by its members.

While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.

All works displayed here, whether pictorial or literary, are the property of their owners and not Adult-FanFiction.org. Opinions stated in profiles of users may not reflect the opinions or views of Adult-FanFiction.org or any of its owners, agents, or related entities.

Website Domain ©2002-2017 by Apollo. PHP scripting, CSS style sheets, Database layout & Original artwork ©2005-2017 C. Kennington. Restructured Database & Forum skins ©2007-2017 J. Salva. Images, coding, and any other potentially liftable content may not be used without express written permission from their respective creator(s). Thank you for visiting!

Powered by Fiction Portal 2.0
Modifications © Manta2g, DemonGoddess
Site Owner - Apollo