The Words Left Unsaid | By : Meimi Category: Digimon > General Views: 2383 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon: Digital Monsters, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
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STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I don't own Digimon.
SPOILER WARNING: Spoilers for 02 (that's season 2 for the
uninitiated) up to and including the episodes involving the first
appearance of the Crest of Kindness.
YAOI WARNING: This is a yaoi fic and contains within it sex and other
dirty deeds between two male characters. If this disturbs you in any
way PLEASE do not continue reading. And yes, I am sick and twisted,
thanks for asking.
Why Kenkeru?: Because I think it's cute, what with Takeru having this
whole angel motif and Ken having a demon/fallen angel type motif. And
yes, I'm stealing Ajora's line on describing the fascination with
this particular pairing.
Why Takeken?: Because Ajora is really evil and suggested it for
Valentine's Day 2001.
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Takeru hummed a nonsensical tune as he stood in front of the kitchen
sink washing off his new set of teacups. His mother had dragged him
out shopping the day before, and once he had laid eyes upon the
delicate set he just couldn't say no. Their fragile beauty reminded
him far too much of a certain someone. The set was carved of crystal,
with shimmering rose petals rising up and joining together to make
the cup. The handles were vine carvings that twirled down in a curve
between a meeting of two of the petals. They were gorgeous and
terribly expensive, which had made for a hard argument with his
mother to buy them. But buy them he did, and tonight he planned to
show them off for the first time to that certain someone they so
reminded him of.
Smiling to himself, Takeru finished drying off the last cup as the
sound of the doorbell wafted into the kitchen. That would be Yamato
here to pick up Patamon for the weekend. Things were still... a
little bit tense, and as much as he loved the little digimon, having
Patamon there with him wouldn't be a very good idea.
"Patamon! It's time to go," Takeru called out as he padded down the
hallway to the front door. He chuckled as he heard the telltale flap
of wings coming from the living room. Patamon would stay out of sight
until they knew for certain who was at the door.
Takeru fought down a smirk as he opened the door on a rather
flustered looking Yamato. From the look of it, his brother had been
with Taichi before heading over. Only Taichi could produce that
hastily tucked in shirt and rumpled jacket look on his older brother.
As much as Jun might have wanted Yamato as her boytoy, she was years
too late to even have the most minuscule of chances.
"Wow, you're actually on time," Takeru smirked as Yamato attempted to
put on one of his cool acts. "What did you have to bribe Taichi with
to get away?"
"No~thing," Yamato grumped as he walked past his brother. Looking
around curiously at the empty apartment, he asked, "Where's the
Patamon?" He smirked as said digimon flew around the corner from the
living room. "Oh, there he is!"
"I'm right here," Patamon giggled as Yamato grabbed him out of the
air and started tickling him. He struggled half-heartedly, not really
wanting to get away. He was enjoying the extra attention far too much
to want that.
Takeru laughed at their roughhousing. He really did appreciate the
fact that Yamato thought of Patamon as a friend and not just his
little brother's partner. Takeru blanched slightly as Yamato looked
over at him and curiously asked, "So where's mom?"
"Um, well..." Takeru trailed off, looking anywhere but at his
brother. How to put this so Yamato wouldn't rat him out and ruin
everything? Lacing his fingers together nonchalantly, Takeru started
off innocently, "She's off on an assignment doing some investigating.
You know her journalism and all."
"Uhuh," Yamato answered slowly as he turned around to look at Takeru
fully, Patamon tucked under his left arm. Cocking his eyebrow, he
asked suspiciously, "And she doesn't get back til when?"
Takeru sighed silently in defeat, the only chance he had had was if
Yamato didn't catch on. And since his brother obviously had caught
on, it was better to get it over with quick. He was one of the
world's worst liar and knew he didn't have a hope in hell of
snowballing his brother. "Not until late Sunday night."
"Right," Yamato smirked knowingly. "So it's just gonna be you and
whoever it is you're inviting over huh?" Yamato looked down at
Patamon thoughtfully, his smirk widening at the possibilities. "It
wouldn't be Hikari, otherwise you wouldn't want me to take care of
Patamon. Unless of course, Tailmon is staying at home too. Nah, can't
be that, Taichi didn't mention anything. It's not one of the others,
same deal. One of your 'other' friends hmmm?" He asked suggestively.
"Ya~ma~to, give me a break," Takeru rolled his eyes at his brother's
blatant fishing for information on top of the expected teasing.
Shaking his finger at them in mock anger, he warned them both off,
"For this once, not a word out of either of you. If mom finds out,
I'll know who told her."
"You know I'm good," Yamato whined melodramatically, playing it up
for all it was worth. "What kinda big brother would I be if I ratted
out on my little bro for his cute little slumber party?" Yamato asked
cheerfully as he reached over and playfully ruffled Takeru's golden
hair.
"Ha ha," Takeru grumbled as he instantly reached up to straighten out
his tousled hair. "Look, just get going. I need to hurry up and
finish cleaning up the kitchen." Leaning down, he gave Patamon a
quick scratch under the chin and smiled fondly. "Have fun. I'll see
you on Monday, okay?"
"Okay!" Patamon crowed as Takeru started pushing him and Yamato out
the front door. Frowning slightly, he quietly added, "Be careful."
"Be careful?" Yamato mouthed silently, as Takeru closed the front
door behind them. Be careful? Takeru was just having a friend over
for the night, right? It was just a simple sleepover wasn't it?
Weird, Yamato shook his head as he started off towards the elevator.
Maybe he could get Patamon to tell him who Takeru was having over
after a bit of cajoling and a bribe of food... okay, maybe a couple
of bribes of food.
~*~
A good while later, Takeru finished dusting off the living room
coffee table. His mother would have been proud of the cleaning job he
had done, she also would have been awfully suspicious as to why he
was doing it in the first place. He wasn't what could be considered
the model of a happy homemaker, he was just... anxious.
He was anxious, more than a bit nervous and not quite sure just what
he was going to do. Things had certainly been odd of late, to say the
least. And his invitation for Ken to spend the night was a bit out of
his league, even with what they had been doing together lately.
The time they spent together was always nice, though sometimes more
than a bit tense. Ken rarely talked about anything at all, and when
he did it was usually a precursor to something else. Takeru didn't
mind that really, Ken seemed to enjoy his company and seemed a bit
calmer whenever he was around. Ken's parents certainly seemed to
adore him already. And why not? Their precious little boy, Ken's
rather sarcastic description of their attention, had a friend now, a
friend they could see and talk to. Considering what they knew about
their son's past history, which was far less than what Takeru knew,
it was no surprise they latched onto anything that might keep their
son's interest.
The one aspect of their relationship that basically made their
relationship was amazingly easy to get used to, all things
considered. Takeru had always thought, been led to believe, that it
would happen with Hikari in time. They had been best friends for so
long, they were the right age for each other and everybody else loved
to point out just what a cute couple they would make together. But
Ken kinda changed everything for him. The first time had been one of
the most impulsive things he had ever done or been drawn into. And
afterwards, it seemed to be one of the very few things that would
draw Ken out of the depression. It was always different afterwards,
Ken always seemed different afterwards, kinder maybe? He would
probably never tell anyone, but he... liked it. Takeru really liked
the attention Ken was giving him. Ken never treated him like he was
breakable or too goody goody and innocent to understand anything. He
loved it, almost to the point where he was starting to crave it. None
of the others would ever give him that, they couldn't and probably
wouldn't even understand why he wanted it.
But that line of thinking brought him back to the questions that had
been bugging him for a little while now. Was he just doing this to
help Ken or was it something else now? The possibilities were
starting to make themselves known and he wasn't sure why he did
anything anymore. Was he just doing it to help Ken in any possible
way he could? Or was he starting to actually like Ken? And if that
was the case, what did Ken think of him? It was confusing.
Sighing heavily, Takeru flopped down on the couch and buried his face
in his hands. His cheeks were flaming hot, and he had to be sporting
one of the most incredible blushes in history. He always got like
this when he got this far in his thoughts. He didn't know what to do.
He didn't know what to think anymore. And well, he was certainly
thinking too much about it all. That much he had at least figured
out. It didn't stop him from continuing to think about it though.
Ken, Takeru thought as he leaned back to gaze up at the ceiling. Ken.
Ken. Ken. Everything was about Ken now. He hadn't planned it that
way, hadn't even thought of it ever getting to this point. But here
he was, thinking about Ken and completely and utterly confused about
what to do about it.
There was Ken at the door, Takeru thought as he heard a quiet knock
waft in from the hallway. And his cheeks were still pretty hot, so he
must still be blushing. Great, just great. Chuckling humorlessly at
the situation, Takeru hauled himself up off the couch and called out,
"Coming!" It was always better to face the music now than later, or
at least that's what Yamato was always saying.
Ken felt his lips twist upwards ever so slightly as he heard Takeru
call out from inside the apartment. This was different. He'd never
gone over to someone's for a sleepover before, never had the time.
Lord knows, he didn't know why Takeru had suggested it or why he had
agreed to it so easily. It was 'something' though... something...
something... something? He wasn't quite sure just what, nor did he
have the time to follow up that train of thought as Takeru opened the
front door.
Takeru's face was red. How odd. Was he sick or... what? "Takeru, do
you have a fever?" Ken found himself asking before he even realized
it. He quickly followed up his concern by lifting his left hand up to
feel the other boy's forehead for any raise in temperature. Takeru
didn't feel hot or anything.
Takeru could actually feel the blood rushing to his head as he
blushed even more at Ken's touch. "No no, it's nothing," he blurted
out, trying to head Ken off at the pass, so to speak. "Nothing at
all."
"Ri~ight," Ken drawled, a smirk dawning across his lips as he figured
it out. "You're blushing," he purred as he backed Takeru into the
apartment hallway. "Why?"
"It's nothing important," Takeru murmured quietly as he shut the door
behind them. He looked up at the amused twinkle in Ken's amethyst
eyes and smiled weakly. "Really."
"All right," Ken blinked, the smirk still present. He could always
find out later. He did have Takeru all to himself for the entire
night. It wouldn't be hard to get the reason for the rosy blush out
of the other boy later and knowing Takeru it would certainly prove
amusing. "Whatever you say," he agreed quietly as he turned around to
get a look at the apartment's living room.
Takeru sighed silently in relief, that had been a lot easier than he
had thought it would be. Then again, knowing Ken, he'd probably get
asked about the blush again later at the most inopportune time
possible. It just wouldn't be Ken if he wasn't pestered again later
about it. Oh well, he'd deal with it whenever it came up again.
Pushing all thoughts of the blush out of his head, Takeru smiled
proudly as he watched Ken give the apartment a calculating once over.
Ken hummed quietly to himself as he looked around at Takeru's home.
It looked comfortable, 'homey' even and terribly clean. The other boy
must have been nervous or something to get it this sparkling. Takeru
just wasn't the type to clean religiously to where it would be this
spotless all the time. Nervous about what though? It was an
intriguing question. He just had to figure out how to get the answer
out of his friend somehow.
Ken felt his mind instantly go numb at the last bit of that thought.
Friend? Friend. Friend. Friend. Takeru was his friend? Yes... yes,
Takeru must be his 'friend'. How else could he explain the attachment
he had developed for the boy? It's not like he had felt this way
about anyone else before. So friend must be the proper label to place
on it. What else could it be? Smiling pleasantly from that thought,
Ken turned around and pointed at the indigo overnight bag slung over
his shoulder while he asked, "So where should I put this?"
"Uhm," Takeru had been far too intent on watching Ken to catch the
question at first. He blinked dazedly as Ken watched him curiously. A
moment later, the content of the question finally registered on his
brain, "Oh! Here, let me have it and I'll go drop it off in my room."
Takeru laughed nervously as he accepted the proffered bag and zoomed
down the hallway.
Ken watched Takeru's retreating back with more than a hint of
amusement. If the other boy's reactions were any indication, this was
going to turn out to be one hell of night. His eyes narrowed ever so
slightly as he watched Takeru dart into one of the doorways.
Instantly a diagram of the apartment began to form in his mind. There
was the kitchen and the living/dining room in a straight shot with
each other. The bedrooms were lined up with each other on the
hallway. Takeru's room wasn't all that far from the front door. It
would prove to be a simple retreat if one became necessary... And why
was he thinking about 'escaping' Takeru's apartment of all place? Ken
sighed tiredly, really he was turning out to be too paranoid for his
own good.
Scowling darkly, Ken turned around and walked stiffly into the living
room. He didn't need to do this anymore. There was no need for him to
devise a plan of retreat from Takeru of all people. Plans of retreat
were for the battlefield. They belonged in the world of the Kaiser
not Ichijouji Ken... not anymore. He didn't need to do this anymore.
So why was he? The Kaiser was the past. The dead and buried past, he
didn't belong in the present. Not anymore and never again. Ken
gritted his teeth harshly and closed his eyes. Why couldn't he let it
go?
Takeru hurriedly returned to find Ken standing in the living room
with his back to the hallway. Ken seemed really tense. Tense, yes
tense was definitely the word for it. He must be thinking about one
of the many, many things he would never talk to Takeru about. Ken was
practically a stone wall when he was like this. He refused to burden
anyone else with his pain and just kept on hurting. It was one of the
really distressing things about Ken that Takeru had yet to figure a
way past.
What to do? What to do to get Ken to focus on something else? Takeru
thought frantically, discarding most ideas before they had even fully
formed. He looked around, hoping to find something that might work
because he wasn't coming up with anything quick. He stopped as he
caught a glint of light coming from the kitchen. The rose tea cups
were glimmering under the fluorescent glow of the kitchen lights.
Tea. Perfect, Ken loved tea and it would be the perfect distraction.
"Hey Ken, why don't you make yourself comfortable while I go fix us
up some tea?" Takeru suggested as he hurried off into the kitchen to
start the water boiling. He smiled as he heard Ken's quiet assent.
Good, things would be fine in just a little bit.
Ken shook his head and carefully sat down on the living room couch.
He really was starting to obsess over everything a bit too much. It
was quite unhealthy for him and anybody who might associate with him.
And Takeru was uncomfortable because of it. He did not like that at
all. Takeru was the only person he could talk to, if he could ever
get up the nerve *to* talk to someone about... everything. He needed
to get over 'this'. He needed to act more 'normal', whatever that
was, for Takeru's sake if nothing else.
Ken blinked as something out of place intruded upon his senses. There
was muffled knocking coming from the front door. Hmm, there was
someone at the front door. "Taker~" Ken trailed off as he looked over
at his friend in the kitchen. Takeru was quite intent on the task of
making tea for them both. He really shouldn't distract the boy. Not
paying attention to hot water wasn't a good thing, and what was the
harm of him answering the front door in Takeru's stead? Ken briefly
toyed with the idea of ignoring it completely as he stood up and
walked into the hallway. However, answering the door when someone was
knocking was the normal thing to do, right? "Oh, just open the damn
door already," Ken muttered darkly to himself as he reached out for
the knob.
Ken's eyes widened unconsciously as he pulled the door open to reveal
a somewhat rumpled Ishida Yamato. Well genius, this is one hell of a
situation you managed to get yourself into, Ken thought mockingly at
himself. His mind quickly supplied the perfect word to fit into this
type of situation: incendiary.
"Look Takeru, I know you don't like me meddling but~" Yamato trailed
off in abject shock as he got a good look at who exactly it was
answering the door. "Ichijouji? What the hell?!" He barked out in
surprise before catching himself and rushing the younger boy. "What
did you do to my brother?" He asked viciously as he pinned Ken up
against the wall and wrapped his hands around the former Kaiser's
throat.
Ken glared pure anger at the older boy, anger at both himself and
Ishida. Stupid of him to allow himself to get into this type of
position. Besides, what did Ishida expect him to say when the fool
was cutting off his air? But it wasn't too much of a hassle, a well
placed kick would get him out of this in no time flat. Then again,
if he hurt Ishida, Takeru would be crushed. Shit!
Takeru looked up from the tea kettle as he heard a sizable thump
coming from the hallway. A quick glance showed that Ken wasn't
sitting on the couch anymore and there was sunlight spilling into the
living room from around the area of the front door. And was that
Yamato he heard? Oh crap. Takeru darted into the hallway and
literally froze for a second at the scene of his brother strangling
Ken. "What are you doing?!"
Yamato looked up in surprise at Takeru's outburst, his grip loosening
ever so slightly. Ken took the opportunity presented, darted down out
of Yamato's hands and took a rather necessary breath before hastily
getting out of the older boy's reach.
"Takeru, what is he doing here?" Yamato asked heatedly, gesturing
pointedly at Ken as the younger boy edged further away from him and
closer to Takeru.
"I invited him?" Takeru asked sarcastically in response. He looked
over worriedly at Ken as he heard a slight cough. "Are you okay?" He
frowned in concern as Ken's only answer was a jerky nod and a death
glare at Yamato. "Just what~" Takeru was halted from anything further
by the whistling of the tea kettle from the kitchen. "Dammit!" He
swore, earning a shocked look from both Ken and his brother. "Both of
you, sit down!" Takeru ground out, pointing at the living room before
running off to get the kettle off of the stove.
Ken watched Yamato grudgingly stalk into the living room and settle
down on the couch. Lightly rubbing his sore throat, Ken warily joined
Ishida, seating himself as far away from Takeru's brother as
possible. What now? He asked himself as he caught Ishida eyeing him
none too friendly.
"Just exactly what are you doing here?" Yamato hissed out as he
watched Ichijouji carefully for any possible threat.
Ken smirked slightly at that. Ishida was really making this far too
easy. "I was invited," he stated plainly as he watched the other with
growing amusement.
"What the hell do you want with my brother?" Yamato snarled quietly
in return. What was Takeru thinking allowing that monster in the
apartment?
Ken tilted his head to the side in thought. He was quiet for several
seconds, doing his best not to burst out laughing at the entire
thing. Smirking maliciously, Ken opted for some of the truth as
Ishida's reaction to it would prove most amusing, "He's a good fuck."
"Whaaaat!?!" Yamato yelled in disbelief as he shot to his feet.
Ichijouji did not just say that. No way in hell was Takeru that
stupid. Was he? Oh god! Yamato took a step forward, quite intent
upon wiping that triumphant smirk off of Ichijouji's face one way
or another.
"Yamato! Out! Now!" Takeru stalked out of the kitchen and started
forcefully pushing his brother towards the front door. "No
arguments," he stated flatly as he felt Yamato start to fight against
him. Sighing gratefully as he felt his brother relent to his
direction, Takeru silently braced himself for what was coming and
pushed Yamato the rest of the way out of the apartment, closing the
door shut behind them both. "All right, let's have it."
"Takeru, please tell me you are not this stupid," Yamato started off,
rubbing his temple and trying to keep himself from blowing up again.
This was his baby brother after all. "Tell me you are not involved
with... with... with Ichijouji."
Takeru frowned at Yamato's choice of words, "What's so stupid about
it?"
"Oh god," Yamato covered his mouth with one hand, feeling somewhat
nauseous from it all. This was very bad... very, very bad. "How
long?" he asked finally.
"A few days after the camping trip," Takeru answered hesitantly,
wondering where his brother was trying to go with that particular
question. What did that have to do with anything? "Why?" he asked
suspiciously.
Shit! Yamato blinked as he processed this little tidbit of
information. He hadn't noticed anything different about Takeru since
then. Damn, he should have paid better attention. "Okay. Well okay,
that's okay. Just tell him you won't see him anymore. I'm sure he'll
leave you alone now that somebody else knows about it."
Takeru rolled his eyes at that. Great, just great. It was gonna go
that way then. Fine, he could win this argument, no problem. "No."
"What?" Yamato grimaced, stepping forward to try and shake some sense
into his brother. He scowled as Takeru backed away from him. "He's
taking advantage of your good nature. Surely you can see that? I'm
sure he just doing it to get back at the rest of us."
"I doubt that since I'm the one who approached him first," Takeru
supplied, waiting for Yamato's outburst at that bit of information.
He was not disappointed.
"Are you nuts?" Yamato barely managed to stop short of yanking out
his beloved hair. No way. No way. This was impossible. This was not
happening. "What are you thinking?! He's no good! You know that."
"Oh really now? Well then, I guess we could say the same thing about
you," Takeru started off viciously. He felt the frustrations and
disappointment that he had brushed off once before start to break out
of the well constructed cage he had erected around them so long ago.
And frankly, at the moment, he didn't care to hold them back. "You
know, now that I think about it, what if me or Taichi had been killed
while you were off 'pouting' during our battle with the Dark Masters?
It really makes you wonder, maybe there would have been an Ishida
Yamato, Digimon Kaiser instead."
Yamato felt like he had been turned to stone by the words coming out
of Takeru's mouth. He had always thought... always thought that
Takeru understood about that. Surely his little brother didn't
believe that he had just abandoned them all without a thought for
their well being. Looking down into Takeru's flinty gaze, Yamato felt
his inside knot up. It was like looking in a mirror distorted with
time, it was the exact same expression he had once carried around
like a burning brand.
"You know, I really resented you for that, abandoning us simply
because you just couldn't accept the fact that you were in love with
the same person you had been fighting with the entire time," Takeru
continued, letting it spill out finally to get his point across. "You
were really lucky the others thought you were worth going after. You
were never alone. You had everybody else to help you realize what an
absolute selfish idiot you were being. Things would have been a lot
different if you had been as alone as you thought you needed to be."
Takeru finished quietly, knowing that if Yamato didn't understand by
now his brother never would.
Yamato twitched slightly, feeling his neck start to cramp up from the
tension. This was... this was... Good god, he had never expected
that from Takeru. He had always tried to not think about the
possible things that might have happened while he was gone back then.
His imagination could really be way too gruesome at times. But he had
never thought Takeru had considered them. It was definitely a punch
in the gut. He could fix this later though... surely he could fix it.
But right now, the main problem was Ichijouji. "Okay Takeru, okay. I
think I understand what you're getting at. But why are you with
Ichijouji now? He hurt the digimon. He made slaves out of them, and
he liked it. Don't you think he's gone a bit beyond the point of no
return?"
"No, he just needs some help," Takeru spoke carefully, trying to get
out some of what he had spent the past week figuring out. "I'm trying
to help him."
"That's... very noble of you," Yamato frowned, feeling somewhat
shamed by his brother's ease with saying that. There was still the
rather obvious problem though. "But sex? You shouldn't do that with
just anybody. You should just do it with somebody... you... care...
about," Yamato trailed off uneasily in dawning comprehension as
Takeru refused to look at him while he had said that. "Takeru?" he
asked hesitantly.
"I don't know," Takeru answered, understanding the unvoiced question
far too well. "I just don't know," he said again as he stared down at
his feet. He really didn't know what he felt for Ken, it was too
confusing.
"Fuck," Yamato let that single word encompass everything he was
feeling at the moment. Hell if he knew what Takeru was feeling,
though he could probably guess from past experience. "You've really
gotten yourself into a mess here." He sighed wearily as Takeru glared
up at him. "All right, all right," Yamato tapped his foot nervously
on the concrete in thought. "You seriously need to figure this out
sooner rather than later. I'm probably going to regret this, but I
won't tell any of the others, yet. If he hurts you, all bets are off.
And no more Patamon at my place after this weekend. You need somebody
around to watch out for you."
"Fine. Are you finished?" Takeru asked flatly. He didn't like being
pushed into a corner like this. He sighed as Yamato nodded in answer.
"Then just go." He held up his hands to stall off anymore arguments.
"No more. I have enough waiting for me inside, thank you very much."
Yamato shook his head at Takeru brushing him off. This entire thing
was just beyond belief. "Be careful dammit," he said softly as he
reached over to ruffle his little brother's hair. "I'll see you on
Monday."
"Yeah," Takeru answered automatically before waving Yamato off
towards the elevator. Well, that had been fun. Now came the even
better part. Bracing himself for whatever might be waiting for him,
Takeru opened the front door and stepped back into the confines of
his apartment.
Ken wasn't in the living room. Great, where was he?
There weren't that many places to go in his apartment. Takeru of all
people should know this. Thus there were not that many places to
check. Even better, he could hear the sink now. Ken must be in the
kitchen. Wonderful, might as well get this over with, he thought as
he headed purposefully through the living room and into the kitchen.
He stopped short though, unsure of how to go about addressing what
had happened.
Ken was washing the rose teacups, carefully drying each one with a
towel afterwards. "Already finished? That took less time than I
thought it would," he mused tonelessly as he finished drying the cup
in hand and delicately set it down on the counter. "You must have
given a rather convincing argument."
"Yeah, something like that," Takeru supplied uncomfortably. He didn't
like the way Ken sounded, not at all. "Look, I~"
"Don't worry about it," Ken cut Takeru off instantly. "It's quite
all right. It's to be expected considering who I am," Ken trailed off
uncertainly. This was proving to be harder than he had thought it
would be. He had been thinking about what had happened ever since the
pair had left. He didn't like what he had ended up discovering about
himself, not at all.
Really, why had he said that? Because he had wanted to. He should
have let Takeru field Ishida and shouldn't have gotten involved in an
argument with the older boy. He knew this, but he had still said it
anyway. He had goaded Ishida on knowingly. He knew the reaction he
was going to get would be explosive. And yet he had still done it,
and he had enjoyed it immensely.
He was really getting better about 'things' now wasn't he?
Scowling at his own thoughts, Ken reached down and trailed his
fingertip around the rim of the teacup. Glass, simple glass. The
tiniest bit of pressure in just the right place would break it.
Takeru was much like glass. The tiniest bit of pressure would break
Takeru's life into pieces. Shards of glass that would be shards of
life. The Kaiser would enjoy applying the pressure, wouldn't be
satisfied until Takeru was truly broken. And wasn't he the Kaiser
after all? No matter what he did he would always be the Kaiser.
So wasn't it just better to leave the glass behind? Ken pondered this
as he withdrew his finger from the teacup. Leave the glass behind
while it was still in one piece. That would be better for everyone in
the long run now wouldn't it? Yes, that would be better. The glass
would still be intact and there would be no mess left behind to clean
up after. That would be the best solution for all involved.
Ken smiled sweetly as he looked up at Takeru. "Really, it's all
right, it just reminded me of a certain 'problem' I had been
forgetting about." He laid the towel down on the counter carefully,
noting that his hands were shaking slightly. He really was a fool for
getting so attached to something he surely didn't deserve. "I am
sorry about upsetting your brother," he flinched ever so slightly
from the dark memories that simple word stirred up. Best not to go
there ever again.
"It's... all right. We got some things out that should have been
taken care of a long time ago," Takeru said hesitantly as he watched
Ken. Something was really, really wrong here. He could practically
feel it in the air. Something was very wrong with Ken. And he wasn't
going to get anything out of Ken unless he asked. So here goes,
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, just figuring something out. Though, I should have come to
this conclusion some time ago," Ken said slowly. This was difficult.
But, he needed to get it over with before he changed his mind or
slipped back into the much too comfortable reactions of the Kaiser.
It would be a disaster either way. "It has been fun and I do
appreciate your concern. But I shouldn't take advantage of you
anymore, especially if your brother's reaction is any indication of
what will happen on down the road." Somehow, Ken managed to force
himself to look into Takeru's shocked blue eyes as he continued, "So
I guess a goodbye would be better suited to us now."
"No!" Takeru slammed his hand into the wall, blocking Ken's path of
retreat.
"What?" Ken blurted out, shocked that Takeru didn't agree with him.
"You are not doing this!" Takeru growled out. No way in hell was he
letting Ken walk away from him now.
"How dare you tell me what to do!" Ken snarled in response. He froze
instantly afterwards, catching himself too late. What was he saying?
That wasn't him... no, it was him, just the him he didn't like
anymore.
Takeru closed his eyes, willing himself to calm down. This was not
helping things. He needed to be rational to get through to Ken.
Grounding himself, he opened his eyes only to witness a near replay
of the most hopeless expression he had ever seen on Ken's face. It
was just like then and he was starting to finally get a clue. "It's
a reflex isn't it? You can't help yourself can you? It comes without
you even thinking about it." He gritted his teeth as Ken visibly
flinched at his words. He was right.
The Kaiser personality that Ken had built up around himself was so
far ingrained into who Ken was that now he basically was Ken's
reaction to everyday life. There was no way to separate the two
personalities, only suppress one or the other. And Ken just wasn't
able to ignore that part of himself, certainly not while he was
alone.
Well, Takeru had wanted to help Ken. He wasn't sure how he could help
Ken with this in particular, but he was more than willing to try.
Sighing, Takeru gently dragged a resistant Ken into his embrace. And
Ken was shaking. "You're really upset about this aren't you?" Takeru
murmured, not expecting an answer nor receiving one. Shaking his head
at this turn of events, he made his way over to the couch and sat
them both down.
Absently stroking Ken's hair, Takeru unbuttoned the collar to Ken's
school uniform. He scowled at the hints of bruising that came into
view. He was seriously going to have to lay into Yamato for that.
Smiling sadly, he leaned back, drawing Ken in closer to him and
simply waited for the shivering to cease. It was the only thing he
could do right now.
It was some time before everything was calm again. Ken was still
breathing a bit raggedly from what Takeru could hear though. But the
shaking had passed, thankfully. Takeru stroked Ken's hair some more
as he asked, "Feeling a little bit better now?"
"No, not particularly," Ken croaked out as he sat up straight,
drawing away from Takeru. He took a moment to clear his throat before
continuing, "I really do appreciate your concern, but I don't want to
hurt you..." Ken trailed off uncertainly as Takeru looked over at him
suggestively before leaning in to nibble on his exposed neck. "What
are you doing?"
"Distracting you," Takeru mumbled hotly against Ken's skin as he
reached over and started dragging Ken closer to him. "Is it working?"
"Ye~s," Ken hissed as Takeru nibbled a trail up to his earlobe. "I
really don't think this is the time for this though." Ken managed to
get out before Takeru pushed him over onto his back.
"Oh, I think this is the perfect time," Takeru grinned cheerfully as
he began to unbutton Ken's jacket. "I want to and you need somebody
to show you that you're not a complete and utter bastard. And this is
the perfect way to do it," he stated matter of factly as he tugged
the jacket out of the way and started working on the shirt
underneath. "Besides, I like it and I like you. Two birds with one
stone, wouldn't you say?" Takeru asked playfully as he leaned in
closer to Ken.
"What?" Ken asked, he was utterly confused. This was really the first
time Takeru had ever actually started things. And... Takeru liked
him? He didn't manage to get any further in his thoughts as Takeru
leaned down to answer him with a long, ardent kiss.
Takeru slowly slid his tongue in between Ken's soft lips, twisting
his tongue sensually around Ken's before drawing back. Meanwhile, his
hands were quite busy removing the cloth barriers between him and
what he truly wanted to touch. This was the first time he'd been 'in
charge', so to speak, and he certainly had no intention of
disappointing.
Leaning up, Takeru helped rid Ken of both the school jacket and white
shirt before shrugging out of his own. Smiling once again, Takeru
softly caressed Ken's cheek before placing a single finger for
silence over the other boy's lips. "Ah ah ah, mine right now," he
whispered before leaning down to place gentle kisses along Ken's
throat. He chuckled as he captured Ken's roaming hands, not allowing
Ken to do anything but feel what he was doing.
Takeru laughed outright as Ken groaned in frustration, before
trailing his tongue down across Ken's chest and claiming the boy's
right nipple with his lips. He sucked on it lightly, then teased it
with his tongue before sucking on it again. He switched to the left
nipple as Ken began to squirm beneath him in growing frustration at
not being allowed to do anything.
When he was finally satisfied that he'd driven Ken to the point of
frustration necessary for what he had planned, Takeru pressed his
body down against Ken's, unconsciously grinding their hips together.
"You've never done it the other way have you?" He asked curiously. He
wasn't entirely sure about this, but he certainly wanted to give it a
try.
"What?" Ken asked in noncomprehension a moment before a blush of
understanding painted his cheeks a rosy color. "Oh, well no, not
really had the chance. I mean come on, I'm the dominant. Everybody
knows that." He looked up suspiciously as Takeru just continued to
stare at him in surprise. "What?"
"You're blushing," Takeru stared down in wonder at this literal
marvel as it turned an even deeper shade of rose at his husky words.
"I think... I like it," he whispered as he leaned down to kiss Ken's
reddening skin. Smirking to himself in triumph at producing this
little miracle, Takeru trailed down across Ken's cheekbone and gently
nuzzled the other boy's ear. "Well do you want to try it the other
way?"
Shrugging his acceptance, Ken answered, "Sure why not?" Smirking ever
so knowingly, he added, "Besides, you're on top already now anyway."
He chuckled as Takeru's cheeks proceeded to swiftly match his own in
a rosy, red color. "But," Ken raised his right hand to stop Takeru
from continuing to tease his body along. "You're forgetting
something."
"I am?" Takeru asked curiously as he tried to think of what it was
that Ken would know that he was forgetting. It wasn't Ken, because
Ken was very obviously underneath him. After a second more of
thinking, it finally dawned on him just what he would need to proceed
further along. "Oh yeah, I have to get up for that though." He pouted
at that, putting as much of his natural cuteness into it as he
possibly could.
"Well then hurry up," Ken crossed his arms over his bare chest to
show that he wasn't going to do anything until Takeru went and got
it. Raising one eyebrow as Takeru seemed rather adverse to the
thought of crawling up off of him, he continued, "I am not a
masochist. Go get it."
"All right, all right already," Takeru grumbled as he reluctantly
climbed to his feet. Shaking a finger of warning down at Ken, he
quickly headed off to his room. "Don't move. I'll be right back."
Ken did a good job of smothering his laughter at Takeru's stern look
and resisted the urge to do just that. As contrary a nature as he
might have, okay maybe a bit more than just contrary, resisting the
urge to move was rather simple, mainly because of the fact that he
just didn't feel like moving. Closing his eyes, he waited patiently
for Takeru's return. He was terribly tired, but Takeru always had
such a refreshing way of exciting him out of his usual depression,
among other things.
It was several minutes later, he wasn't quite sure how long as he
just didn't care to keep up with the time, that he felt a feather
soft caress on his cheek. Opening his eyes slowly, Ken smiled as he
looked up at Takeru's concerned expression.
"You're tired," Takeru said worriedly as he gazed down into Ken's
cloudy amethyst eyes. "We don't have to if you don't want to."
"I'm always tired," Ken murmured as he leaned up to kiss Takeru for
his reply. He smiled as Takeru gently pushed him back down and
started to tug off his pants. He chuckled as Takeru pulled his pants
all the way off and got a good look at his rather obvious need.
"How is it you are so tired all the time and yet have the energy to
produce this?" Takeru asked oh so curiously as he began to slowly
stroke Ken's erection.
"What can I say?" Ken snickered madly, "I'm a slave to my own
desires." He squirmed and giggled uncontrollably as Takeru lightly
tickled his inner thighs. "Stop that!"
"I just can't help myself," Takeru chuckled cheerfully as he leaned
down to kiss Ken once again. "You're just so cute when you're like
this." He suckled gently across Ken's chin and then down to the other
boy's neck as he hastily rid himself of his own shorts and nudged
Ken's legs aside for easier access.
"Cute?" Ken asked unbelieving as he watched Takeru pop open the
bottle of lubricant and squeeze out a generous amount. "I'm cute~?"
He hissed out as Takeru reached down and began to stroke him again.
"Oh definitely," Takeru purred as he slowly stroked Ken's erection
while reaching downwards with his other hand. "You have no idea," he
murmured as he slid a slick finger into Ken. He smiled as he felt the
muscles tense up around his invasion and continued pushing onwards.
Thoughtfully, he stroked the tight flesh contracting around his touch
and searched for the one place he knew from experience that felt
mind numbingly good. "You have no idea just how cute you are like
this, and just how much it turns me on," he continued quietly as he
watched Ken convulsively claw at the couch and knew he had found his
mark.
Takeru stroked Ken for a few more minutes, making quite sure that
every little bit of skin was slicked up for what was to come. He had
to make perfectly sure that there wasn't a chance of him hurting Ken.
Well, asides from the usual uncomfortable sensations at the very
beginning, but those never lasted long. Content that Ken was ready,
Takeru withdrew his fingers and generously slicked up his own aching
hardness. He looked down questioningly as he felt Ken's lower legs
loosely wrap around his waist.
Ken nodded at Takeru in growing anticipation and some uncertainty he
would never admit to. He ruthlessly crushed the slight hesitation he
was feeling about this new twist in things. He was far from anything
resembling a blushing virgin and had been for quite a good while now.
So why was he feeling uncertain about something like this?
Takeru shook his head in bemusement, recognizing Ken's feelings for
what they were even though Ken would never voice them. Patience would
never suit this type of situation, not with them. Smiling
apologetically at the minor wait, Takeru leaned down over Ken, taking
but a moment's time to position himself properly before plunging
within the tense body below.
Takeru blinked in amazement as he vaguely heard Ken cry out at his
initial thrust before gritting his teeth together at the incredible
feel of Ken's muscles contracting around him. Briefly he wondered at
how Ken had managed to control himself for so long during their
earlier trysts. Groaning deep in his throat, Takeru pushed everything
out of his head and slowly began to move.
Ken bit down on his lower lip, trying to stifle off anymore of the
unwanted sounds. He hadn't meant to at first, but he just couldn't
help it. The sensation of Takeru filling him had just been too
surprising for him to stop himself. It had been uncomfortable at the
start, but now it was feeling terribly, terribly pleasant. He groaned
silently as he felt the searing ache between his legs grow as Takeru
thrust deeply into him.
Takeru gasped for air as he watched Ken through narrowed eyes. He
could feel Ken's body begin to shudder in time with each thrust of
his own body. But Ken was strangely quiet and he found himself
wanting, needing to hear that sharp cry again. Feeling his control
starting to slip ever so slightly, Takeru reached down and began to
roughly stroke Ken in accompaniment to each of his fevered thrusts.
Ken hissed through his teeth, reaching up to lightly scrape his
fingernails down Takeru's chest. He was swiftly losing control of his
body's reaction to Takeru's ministrations and for once, he didn't
really mind. He choked for a single moment as a particular deep
thrust sent spots dancing before his eyes. Throwing his head back, he
cried out once more as he felt Takeru push him the last little bit of
the way beyond the edge of his passion.
Takeru grinned at Ken's hoarse cry even as he felt Ken's shaft pulse
within his hand. Gritting his teeth, he grimaced as Ken's muscles
tightened like a vise around him. It was more than he had been
expecting and it easily knocked loose the last bit of control he had
been holding onto. Slumping forward, Takeru barely felt the wet
stickiness of Ken's release before his own was shooting off deep
within the boy below him.
It was some time before Takeru managed to withdraw himself and flop
over to the side, barely managing not to fall completely off the
couch. Shakily reaching up to wipe sweat out of his eyes, he wearily
asked, "Feeling better now?" He snickered silently as a quiet grunt
was the only forthcoming answer. Sighing, Takeru closed his eyes and
waited for his pulse to slow down to something resembling normal.
Several more minutes passed before a quiet "Takeru?" intruded upon
his senses. He cracked one eye open curiously and looked over at Ken
who seemed almost to be sleeping. He blinked the one eye as Ken's
lips moved ever so slightly and the question came again, only a bit
louder, "Takeru?"
"Yeah?" Takeru drawled out tiredly. Ken had never been the type for
much pillow talk, so it must be something important.
"What were you blushing about earlier when I arrived?" Ken asked
simply as he tilted his head over to pin Takeru with an amused glare.
"Uhm," Takeru grimaced as he felt his cheeks heat up once again, even
with all that they'd just been doing. "Well, it's sorta difficult to
explain." He sighed in defeat, no way would Ken let him get off
without some kind of answer, and he didn't want to lie. "You," he
blurted out lamely.
"Me?" Ken asked instantly in utter surprise. "Why?"
"Because, I think... I like you," Takeru managed to get out as his
cheeks heated up even more.
"Why?" Ken asked again in shock as he felt his own cheeks starting to
heat up. This was completely unexpected.
"I don't know," Takeru grumbled as he carefully shifted onto his back
and stared up at the ceiling. "I just do." He blinked in the
following silence and wondered just how stupid he was going to get
before this was all over. He froze as he felt Ken stir beside him and
hoped that he hadn't screwed everything up.
Ken hesitantly leaned over Takeru and frowned at the confusion he
was feeling. He knew... knew what that meant, but he didn't know
how he felt about it. "Takeru, I don't... I don't know what," he
floundered trying to come up with something to say in light of
Takeru's confession and not coming up with anything helpful.
Takeru smiled faintly up at Ken, it was starting to get a bit easier
to read the other boy now. He could see the confusion and uncertainty
lurking within Ken's eyes, even if they didn't show up anywhere else
on Ken's face. Sighing he reached up, gently wrapped his arms around
Ken and slowly drew him down against him. "It's okay Ken. You don't
have to say or do anything."
Ken sighed wearily as he sank down into Takeru's embrace. Maybe there
was something, but he just didn't know. And thankfully, he didn't
have to figure it all out right now. Snuggling up against Takeru's
bare chest he smiled, closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
_____________________________________________________________________
That was my Valentine's Day fic for 2001. It turned out better than I
thought it would. But I'm pretty proud of it, it's a nice way to show
just how silly the seme/uke classifications can seem when applied to
a real relationship. Hope you liked.
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