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Post-metiér Conversations	By : SuckUBusJ Category: Hellsing > General Views: 8965 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
Sorry
I have been updating so fast. I will update once a week, maybe twice,
so people don't loose track of the story. Or whatever one can call
this nonsense I'm writing.

DISCLAIMER:
don't own crap... I am running out of things to say here...

“I'm
going to go lesbian or something...” I blurted.

The
police girl turned around slowly, covering her chest with the shirt
she had just taken off.

She
stared.

I blew a
kiss.

She’s
blushing.

“Really...
I'm getting sick of guys...”

She’s
blushing more and more.

“I'm
kidding Seras... I can't be a lesbian... bi maybe, but never
lesbian... I still like them... too much for my own good I think.”

“What
happened?” Her hand reached for another of my shirts that were
on the bed ready for her to try.

“Your
Master got all Neanderthal on me.”

I can
hear an escalating chuckle coming from her.

Oh god,
she's going to start laughing forever again.

“Don't
do it again--.” I warned.

“Ok,
ok I’m sorry...” She took a few deep breaths to control
her laughter.

She
thought this mess with her Master was hilarious. At first she got mad
since I didn't confide in her, as I said before, but as she asked
more and more details of what was going on, she started to find it
quite funny.

I told
her about what had happened a few days ago; about the talk me and her
Master had. She went into a laughing frenzy that lasted about 3
hours. Non-stop. I had to wait until she stopped completely. I wasn't
even done telling her what had happened when she was already cracking
up like there was no tomorrow.

She made
me feel like reconsidering my job. Maybe I should go into comedy.

It will
keep me away from red-clad male-chauvinistic animated corpses and
that's a big plus.

“… and
Clay is being too much of a sweet boyfriend. He feels bad for
‘leaving’ that time…”

“Hmm...
well, you know no one got you into this mess, right?”

“Yeah
I know... it's my fault...”

Silence.
I looked at what she was trying on now.

“I
would've never thought you could wear my jeans…”

“Well...
they are quite long on me...” Seras said looking at herself in
the mirror. I wonder where all that stuff about vampires not having a
reflection came from.

“… and
a bit loose but it looks good...” She’s kind of short so
it is expected.

“Yeah
I like it...”

“I
like how they look on you... wear them tonight... let Pip see you in
them...”

“But
aren't they... too low?”

“They're
fine... let me find a cute shirt to match...”

“Ok...”

“Though...”
I said looking at her chest and then at mine. “... I don't
think your boobs will fit in the one I am thinking on lending you...”

She
almost pouted.

“...
I wish I had them, don’t complain...”

She
didn’t know how to take that after what I had said before. Her
face said it all.

“It's
so goddamn cold outside...” I shivered.

“I
don't feel it.” She shrugged.

“You’re
so lucky...”

She kept
modeling the jeans in front of the mirror.

I went to
the closet, took a cute tube top I knew I had and threw it in her
direction.

“Here,
you can keep it for a while if you want... I can't wear this here...”

“This
is so pretty! I love it!”

“Kill
Frenchie of a heart attack… wear it tonight too.”

“Really?
I can have it?’

“Yeah!”

“Thank
you so much!”

I sat and
she sat beside me with a little smile on her.

“I
missed this before you came here... I think I told you
before--.” She was referring to our girls-only nights. Well she
was the only 'female' here for a long time I heard. It had to get
lonely.

“Aw...”
I passed my arm around her shoulders. “I know how it feels to
have a job and no life. It sucks... so I’m happy too...”

“Please
don't get fired...” She sighed.

“I'll
try... let's see how much I can pull this thing off without the other
idiot screwing it up...” I remembered Walter seeing us. Crap.
Though I had talked to him after that and he seemed fine about it.
But still...

“Other
idiot?”

“I'm
the first idiot... your Master is the other one... and Clay is just
the nice guy here...”

“So
did you two get to an agreement?”
“Me and your
Master?” I sighed. “Not really... but if I see him
tonight I SWEAR he won't leave before--”

“Yeah,
yeah…” She said with a knowing wicked smile. I pushed
her side.

Silence.

“I
wonder what he's really thinking...” I took a pillow and
put it on my lap. “… and that +I punched the pillow+
just +punch+ makes +punch+ me +punch+ like
+punch+ him +punch+ more +punch punch punch+.”

“I
can tell you like him more than Clay.”

+punch
punch punch punch+

“That's
a yes, I see.”

+punch+

Silence.

“He's
right, we like to torment ourselves… it's sad...”

Silence.

My
thoughts are going wild.

“Do
you… know…” I said with a little frown after
sulking a bit. “… what kind of relationship does he have
with Hellsing?”

Silence.

I turned
to her.

“He
doesn’t really talk to me about things.” She shrugged.

“But
have you seen them together?”

“A
few times. But she treats him... not very nice.”

“Hm.”
I sulked a bit more.

“Why?”

“Hm…
nothing…”

“Have
you?” She asked casually.

“One
or twice…” Yeah, I was not going to tell her about that
time.

“Jealous?”
She pushed my side and I clicked my tongue.

“Nah…”
I said still sulking.

It was
true. Not like I had any reason to be.

My little
radar is picking up something…

I can't
see shit.

The idiot
is not paying attention to me.

Oop! Ok,
I’ll swallow my pride and hang from his coat.

“If
you could breathe a little softer we wouldn’t have to walk in
the shadows.” His deep voice came from everywhere.

I clicked
my tongue in annoyance.

“… or
maybe if you didn’t breathe at all…”

“Shut
up vampire... I’m trying.”

When he
said ‘the shadows’ I thought he meant, you know, what we
humans understand by shadows. Not … this.

“Though
I have to congratulate you on making those huge boots you are
wearing, not make a sound.”

“Oh
thank you, milord+scoffs+.” I tried my best English accent.

“Here
we are...” He sing-songed into my mind and stopped.

I peeked
from behind him, both of us coming out of the shadows thanks to him;
Walter was on the phone and standing next to him, a young woman,
about 25 years old. I guess his assistant or part of the information
retrieval unit. I smiled evilly at my thoughts.

“Ok,
let's do it.” I thought, tugging at his coat.

“I
only have one question.”

“What.”

“Why
did you decide to wear a dress—this short, may I add—when
you knew you were going to do this?”

“...
shit, you're right. Can you keep it up... or down… or
whatever?”

“—such
a tease always--.”

I
glared at him.

I felt
his hand getting a grip on me.

“Wait!”
I thought and he sighed in frustration. “I'm scared!”

“This
was your idea...”

“Look,
it's a tall ceiling, ok?”

“Well?”

Silence.

“Ok,
ok... lets do this!” I took a deep breath.

He stood
behind me, facing my back and snaked an arm around my waist. Then, my
boots left the floor. We started to float silently until we couldn't
go any higher because of the ceiling. It is a high one; I am
NOT kidding. He continued to float with me parallel to the roof,
until we were over Walter and company.

“Ready?”

“Oh
yeah.” I thought as a grin stretched across my face. ”Wait!”

“What
now...”

“Don't—don't
do it too fast please...” I was clawing at his coat.

He
mumbled something I didn't get.

“--and
don't let me fall or I'll swear--.”

He kept
his arm around me and with the other he tried to reach for my bended
leg. His scary thingies got a hold of me as his arm, the one around
my waist, slowly left my body. I started to tilt forward, head first,
the thingies bringing me to a soft halt once my body was completely
vertical. When my ankle was secured in his hand, he started to lower
me over Walter and the girl. Good thing he was holding my skirt in
place. I would have given Walter a heart attack. He was also holding
my hair in place which I had in two ponytails. I asked him via
thoughts, to lower me closer to the girl. Walter was not going to
fall for it.

My brown
eyes meet her green ones.

“Good
evening...” I said in a very low and deep voice, trying to
imitate how Alucard talks... only I’m a girl and can't talk
like that. I was about 5 inches from the girl's face, upside down,
hanging from the ceiling.

The girl
didn't scream. But her shocked expression scared ME. I think she
almost had a panic attack. She walked backwards a few steps, clutched
her notepad to her chest and started panting. I grinned that sick
grin I have picked up from the vampire, when I felt Walter's eyes on
me.

“Officer...
good evening...”

“Hi,
Walter... how's everything?”

“Oh,
very well, thank you.” He lifted his finger for me to wait a
moment and then finally hung up. “You don't look too well, have
you been eating right?”

“It's
just makeup... I wanted to look scary...”

“I
see...”

“Seras
helped me get the right skin tone.”

“I
can see that… it almost suits you.”

“Don’t
say it too loud…” I mumbled, but he didn’t hear
me.

“Will
you come by later for some tea?”

“Sure,
why not…” Since my agreement with Alucard was off, I had
to do my own thing to get tea from Walter. It didn’t take much.
I just had to ask. He’s so nice.

“Are
you done, already?” Alucard said from the ceiling.

“SHH!
Dude, you’re not supposed to be there…”

“It
might be fun to be hanging from my hand but I find it quite boring up
here.”

“… party
pooper…” I almost grunted.

The woman
almost died as she saw him there. A gasp from her made me realize
this.

“It's
ok... I’m not another vampire; I’m in FA actually... nice
meting you...” I said and extended my upside down hand to the
girl. She was looking at Alucard floating up there. She wasn’t
afraid of me anymore… not even aware of my existence! Damn, I
was doing so well! “It's ok, he's harmless...”

“Pardon
me?” He didn’t like that, I’m sure.

“Ok
fine... he's a vicious daemon who kills babies and eats them--.”

“Officer,
I think she doesn't need all the details...” Walter interrupted
me with a sigh.

“Sorry...”
I said and with my hands against the desk made my body swing a bit.
“I like this, its fun—plus you can get a good workout...”
I did some vertical crunches. Ow.

Hm, now I
see where he gets those abs from.

“You
are not as light as you look, Officer...” Alucard mumbled.

“Wait...”
I put my palms flat on the table. “Let go.” He did. I did
a one second handstand and then my boots hit the carpet.

Alucard
landed on the carpet too, beside me, not making a sound.

The girl
was still fixated on the vampire. I can’t believe there are
still people who don’t know about him or something. Or maybe
I’m just weird.

“I
don't think it is a good idea for you two to be wandering around the
mansion together...” Walter said, kind of scolded. Yes, it was
sort of a violation of those rules about dealing with the Hellsing
vampires.

“You're
right...” I mumbled as I shook the dust off my short Goth-Amish
looking dress.

“Good
evening then...” Alucard grinned at the poor girl. He just
loves to be the bad guy.

“Walter—.”

“He
can't hear you anymore...” He said turning to leave.

“Huh?”

The
darkness behind me told me we were in the infamous shadows again. I
walked after him as he exited the office, again that impossible
darkness meeting us instead of the hallway. Damn it! I keep tripping
all over the place!

“Can
we scare Seras too?”

He
chuckled.

“This
is fun!” I said smiling wickedly.

Silence.

“I
will teach you; you will not scare her doing what you just did...”

“Ok...
show me the way PrankMaster...”

“Prank..?”
He said with a frown.

“Master.”

He smiled
devilishly. “How sweet that word rolls out of your tongue...”

(raspberry)

Silence.

“And
Pip—how about scaring Pip… and the Geese!”

A very
sick grin was the only thing I could see in that darkness. But right
now, that only meant more fun.

“And
when we're done... I need to talk to you about some stuff.” I
said my tone a bit less happy.

“Very
well.”

I can swear
he grinned again by the sound of his voice.

(knock
knock)

“You're
not going anywhere...” The vampire grunted into my lips at the
same time that he rolled both of us in a smooth movement placing me
on my back, and pinned me against the floor with his body. I had no
complains.

Yeah,
I know… so much for coming to an agreement and having a
civilized talk.

It
pisses me off; he always has to be in control.

Ok,
this time I started it.

“The
door--.”

His
lips came back to me and shut me up. Ok, fine, fine!

“For
once we agree...” I said into his mouth. “Hide--.”

“No.”

“--for
one second... I will tell him I’m busy... ok?”

He
backed away a bit and disappeared.

I
stood up and went to open the door; barely opening it really... I was
not very decent.

“Hey...”
I said and licked my lips just in case. God, I feel them swollen and
red.

“Oh,
you were asleep?” Clay said with a little frown.

“Kinda...
I’m a little tired.”

“Oh,
ok... I wanted to know if you were ok... if everything was ok…”

“Yeah--.”
I felt a tickle on my leg and knew WHO it was. “I'm--I’m
ok...” I was shaking it off me a bit.

“Are
you sure?...” He looked at me all weird.

“Ye--hm!”
The vampire just grabbed my ass! “Yeah--yeah... I’m just
finding some roaches around and I get all jumpy and weird--.”

“I
can help you if you need--.”

“No
I’m fine... big girl, I can take it...”

He
chuckled.

“Ok...
let me know if it gets bad...”

“Mh-hm.”

“...
good night, luv...” He came over to kiss me and as he did, I
felt a hand massaging me in between my legs--very nicely-- from
behind.

I
will kill him for this.

“Hmmm...”
I couldn’t help myself and moaned into Clay’s mouth.

“Kinky,
kinky Officer.” The vampire purred in my head.

“Are
you sure you don't want me to stay?” Clay whispered into my
mouth a bit sensuously.

“Yeah—I
have to +soft gasp+ sleep…” I kicked the vampire behind
me. “Good night.”

“Ok...
bye...” He was smiling from ear to ear. I waited for him to
walk down the stairs at least.

I
closed the door fast.

“That
was wrong...”

“...
now he will think it was because of him...”

“What
thing?”

He
came close to me, pinned me to the door and began to imitate my
moans.

“I
don't sound like that...”

His
hand went back to where it was a few seconds ago.

I
sounded exactly like he had.

“Though
I have to say my favorites are...” He began to touch me in a
way that my hands involuntarily flew to the frame of the door, my
body arching to the point of being painful, very high pitched moans
filling the room.

“You're...
mistaking-me...for a...piano...”

“It
is the same principle, milady...”

“I
hate you...” I said as one of my arms curled around his neck,
holding me up.

“Of
course you do...”

I
do hate him... in my own peculiar way...

Let
me know if you're reading! The story is already done, but I will
update once or twice a week.
- 9
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- 11
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