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Learning to Land	By : Suteishichic Category: Prince of Tennis/Tennis no Ohjisama > General Views: 11419 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis (Tennis no Ohjisama), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Learning to Land by Suteishichic. Chapter Ninety Nine ~Mukahi~
Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)
Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)
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He felt better until Yuushi's face suddenly twisted into an ugly painful expression beneath his hands, and the tensai whispered sounding broken, "Gakuto, I am so fucked up..."
It was like a door opening a tiny crack into Yuushi's deepest and most painful secrets. It was huge and in a way frightening because Gakuto sensed just beyond that door there lay a stockpile of pain and shame and fear that Yuushi hid. The tensai guarded his secrets and he kept them up until now pretty much all alone because there simply was no one else for Yuushi to tell any of this stuff to. These were the kind of dark feelings and experiences that no one else Yuushi knew would understand.
No one except Gakuto. Gakuto figured he knew most of those ugly feelings completely. He knew how to keep his own secrets guarded and hidden just as intimately. Hell, after everything he had lived through, Gakuto figured he might be the only person in the world who could understand just how Yuushi felt.
Okay, so Gakuto didn't know exactly what happened to Yuushi, like the gory specific details, but Gakuto really did know all those terrible feelings and the fears that came along with them. He knew all too well the panic and horrible dread you had to live with every single day worried and stressed over, what if people find out? People I know? What if they discover what a terrible mess I am, and how awful I am, and everything I've been through...
Especially the person you love. If that person finds out, how then could they possibly treat you the same as before they knew? If they discover all your secrets, how could they ever possibly understand? How could anyone care for you if they were to uncover and expose every ugly and disgusting detail about you? And maybe worst of all, if that one person finds out, if all your ugly secrets become exposed to that one all-important and cherished person, then how will they ever be able to love you?
Stupid Yuushi. Gakuto already knew all he needed to know.
He loved him.
He reached for Yuushi because he couldn't sit still any longer. Gakuto smiled ruefully and kissed Yuushi's wild and crazy hair while he smoothed it back with his hand offa the tensai's forehead. For good measure, he kissed Yuushi's forehead too by smushing his lips against it hard and holding them there for a long moment. When that was done, Gakuto pulled back to look at the tensai and softly said, "Yeah. I know. Me too, Yuushi. I'm all fucked up too. That's why we're so good together."
Yuushi didn't move.
Gakuto didn't even think Yuushi was breathing because it was like the tensai was frozen in place like an ice sculpture. Then without warning Yuushi laughed a little before a split second later, Yuushi started crying hard.
And to Gakuto's shock, once Yuushi got started, the tensai cried so much it was like something inside him broke. Yuushi's body was racked with sobs that came so fast and hard Gakuto worried about him being able to breathe. Over and over again Gakuto kissed Yuushi and told him it was okay now. It was all okay.
Like Yuushi was a little boy, the tensai clung to him while he cried. Yuushi held on to Gakuto so hard it was as if he was drowning and only Gakuto could save him.
Normally, Gakuto hated when people cried. Not just girls when he turned them down or something, but anyone. Gakuto never knew what to do when a girl started bawling. Especially after confessing. It just seemed so stupid to get so worked up over a crush. But this was completely different.
Gakuto had cried like this to his Mom a few times, but he had never seen someone else cry this way. Not even in the movies. And when Gakuto thought to himself that in all the world, the only person Yuushi probably ever cried to like this and needed was him, it suddenly didn't feel awkward. It was just natural for Gakuto to wrap his small arms around the tensai and hold Yuushi while he cried.
While they both did. Because for some reason, Yuushi who was always so strong and calm suddenly crying like that made Gakuto cry too. And Gakuto held on to Yuushi as hard as he could and pressed as much of his bare skin against Yuushi's because it felt important. It felt so urgent that Gakuto be there for him that he didn't want to let Yuushi go. Not ever. And he couldn't stop kissing Yuushi either. Yuushi's hair, his face, his neck, his lips. It felt meaningful and not stupid at all to be all lovey like this. Yuushi needed this. Yuushi needed him and Gakuto felt good to be able to give Yuushi something back. Something only Gakuto could.
It just felt right. Gakuto'd meant what he said. They really were good together.
Somehow after all the tears finally stopped, they ended up holding each other close and kissing for a really long time. Gakuto wasn't sure which one started swirly kissing the other's mouth first or when they both stopped crying and started smiling, but they were. They never said a word about it to each other, and it was like they were more than just on the same wavelength together--it was almost like they were synchronized. Like a long-standing doubles team that just knows what the other person needs because they were that close and together.
In between long, deep kissing sessions, they kept smiling and staring into each others eyes all lovey and stupid. One of them would laugh at everything and nothing and then the other would join in. This was a different kind of kissing than Gakuto had ever done before because there wasn't really any heat or urgency behind it. There wasn't that hard driving feeling of hungry lust. Instead there was just a lot of want--raw want, but even that was an all new kind. This was the kind where you just want to be with the other person and where all you want to do is to make that person feel happy and good.
This was all new to Gakuto and he suspected new to Yuushi too. It was nice. Really nice.
Gakuto really didn't wanna ruin the mood, but his instincts for people and secrets were screaming at him to widen the crack of that open door behind Yuushi's walls while he could. Gakuto knew from experience, sometimes people got scared and ran away from you later on if you didn't press for answers when they gave you the opportunity. Maybe they just didn't like that you didn't push for answers when they were hoping you would. A lotta the time though, people had this annoying need to confess. Like saying all their dirty laundry made them clean or something and they often used Gakuto as their cleaner. Sometimes later they got mad and pulled away because you knew stuff about them no one else did. Like because you knew their secrets, now you could read their thoughts too and that made you a threat to them or something.
But he didn't want Yuushi to feel scared. Or worried. Or to pull away. Gakuto would rather Yuushi tell him everything now and have them deal with it together than let something bad grow between them. They had enough bad behind each of them. Gakuto wanted everything on the table--all their secrets and pasts and to move forward from all that stuff together.
It was an odd place for Gakuto to be in and these were strange new feelings, but that was how he was feeling. Like he had to clear things up even if it ruined this nice lovey moment they were having, because in the end it would be better for Yuushi and better for them.
Gakuto formed a plan in mind. When they let each other up for air after the next kiss, he would just widen the crack into Yuushi's secrets a little tiny bit and let whatever the tensai needed or wanted to tell him spill out.
The next time they smiled at each other and their mouths were free for a few seconds, Gakuto ventured, "Hey, can I ask you somethin?"
Yuushi was still smiling at him, but his eyes suddenly went from dopey to that tensai sharply focused to back to lovey, "Anything."
The tensai not only meant it, but he never hesitated. Even if Yuushi was scared or worried, he trusted Gakuto completely. It meant a lot to Gakuto. He couldn't remember the last person who trusted him this much, and what was even more important, Gakuto couldn't remember the last person he had wanted to be all close with like this.
Thinking that, Gakuto kissed him. They were eye to eye and it wasn't far to reach Yuushi's mouth with his own, but at the same time, it felt like Yuushi was really far away when he reached his lips across. Gakuto was pretty sure that he had kissed people first before this. He'd had to, right? At least with stupid girls. At least once in all those parties Gakuto'd been to he had to have kissed another person first. And probably by now he'd kissed Yuushi first at least once, but right then, it felt important for him to be the first one to kiss even if they had been kissing each other all night. Gakuto kissed Yuushi softly with just his lips, and for some reason, it felt more like a first kiss than any other kiss he had ever done. He lingered there on Yuushi's warm willing mouth feeling how sweet this was, and then Gakuto sighed to himself because it was time and this had to be done.
Gakuto pulled back from the kiss and tried to ask as diplomatically as possible, "So...can you tell me why the lights always gotta be off when you're...you know...with other people?"
Yuushi closed his eyes like he had a headache or a sudden pain. Gakuto didn't know what that meant. The tensai didn't even seem to be breathing. Maybe he was back to being frozen again. Gakuto hoped he didn't get angry or scared or pull away. He put his hand on Yuushi's cheek under his left eye and rubbed his thumb softly on Yuushi's skin. Gakuto couldn't ever remember doing anything like that with anyone. Not even with girls. Yuushi's skin was soft and warm and even for a guy, the tensai had really long eyelashes. Even with goofy hair, Yuushi was still kinda good looking. Not pretty like Atobe or the peacock, but nice. "Hey Yuushi?"
The tensai slowly opened his eyes and looked at him.
Gakuto tried again and his hand somehow on its own moved up to start smoothing down some of Yuushi's crazy hair, "It's okay. I just...I wanna know...if you wanna tell me?"
Yuushi's voice was rough and gravelly from crying earlier. He sounded older and tired, but not physically tired, more like worn out inside himself. It was like all the rough edges in Yuushi were gettin worn down from rolling around inside him for so long, and that the rolling around hurt and kept hurting for a really long time. Gakuto tried to imagine living with a secret like his own and not anyone he cared about ever knowing or talking to him about it. He found it was incredibly sad and impossible to really understand.
Yuushi took a deep breath and let it out kinda shaky. The tensai said slowly as if carefully trying to choose his words, "Every time I've had sex with someone, I've done it the same way my tutor made love with me. I wanted to make love to you that way tonight and I thought...it sounds rather illogical to me now, but I thought if I showed you, that you could maybe...maybe then you would be able to understand."
Gakuto didn't understand.
Yuushi must have seen all the questions Gakuto was gonna ask and tried to explain first, "If the lights are off, they can't see that I don't need to use this part of myself." Yuushi took Gakuto's hand out of his hair and moved it down to his erection as if that would explain anything.
Gakuto wrapped his hand around it and felt it respond to his touch. He kinda forgot until then that they were both naked. He even forgot that he was also hard and turned on. He was completely confused by what Yuushi was tryin to say as if it he was tryin to figure out a logarithm problem without knowing how to figure any of it out and without Yuushi to help walk him through it.
He sighed frustrated because Gakuto had to admit he couldn't figure it out so annoyed but trying to be tactful Gakuto asked, "But you said...Yuushi you said you and your tutor never...? That you never had sex...? So...every other time with other people...? What...well okay, but then what...what did you...do you...did you wanna...use?"
Yuushi shrugged and was starting to blush. Gakuto had a feeling if he was anybody else asking Yuushi woulda made some lame joke or pun to get out of this uncomfortable situation, but because it was Gakuto, Yuushi was struggling to try to explain. The tensai swallowed hard and then said softly while looking away, "I used other things...other body parts. I've used my...my hands. My mouth. My fingers. In the dark, it's easy for people to make mistakes or not feel the right thing. If I make them feel good, they don't question me after. I...I've never told the truth to anyone before and I'm sorry I lied by not telling you everything. The rest of my first times how I told you is true. I was with a girl and a guy that first week. I did hold myself and dry orgasm with them but I never...the truth is...and what might not count is I've never been inside anyone else with this part of myself until earlier tonight. When I was with you and Naomi. Except..."
Gakuto thought he couldn't be shocked anymore.
He was wrong.
What Yuushi just said was enough to surprise the hell out of him, but suddenly Yuushi went all pale and started actually shaking. Tears started to well up in his eyes and the tensai blinked them away. He swallowed as if his throat had gone dry. He glanced at Gakuto and then looked away again. Yuushi's voice got all tight and weird, "Except...the truth is I...it did...it happened with me and my tutor. Once. Just this one time. I'm fairly sure it was only once. My tutor...he...he made me, but I didn't want to. I didn't. I told him to stop...I did, but he... It was near the end before I told and it was primarily why I had to tell because he...he made me...and I knew...I knew right then...he wasn't...he wasn't going to stop...he wouldn't ever stop...it was never going to be over..."
"He forced you to have sex?" Gakuto asked and was really angry at that bastard who could hurt a person...hell, a child as kind and gentle as Yuushi. His throat suddenly burned with unshed tears for Yuushi, but Gakuto decided he wasn't gonna cry because that might look like he felt sorry for Yuushi or something. Gakuto tried to keep how upset he was outta his voice but he was angry like he had never felt before, "Yuushi, that's rape. The bastard raped you?"
Yuushi nodded yes, and then strangely he shook his head no. "He...he did force me to, but not...not like you were forced. H...he made me but it was...he...my tutor forced me as a woman would force a man."
Yuushi's eyes met with Gakuto's and they were full of pain. Gakuto was upset but he wasn't sure what Yuushi meant. He licked his lips which had gone very dry and tried to think of a good way to ask because he didn't understand and he really, really wanted to.
The tensai said in a flat voice devoid of all emotion as if Yuushi had gone cold again inside, "You see, my tutor forced...raped me to be exact, precisely as Naomi did tonight. My tutor was on top of me. He rode me as if he were a woman. He...he told me I had to comply or...or else he would hurt the people I loved and when Naomi said..." Yuushi's chin crinkled in a strange way and his bottom lip started trembling, "I'm sorry Gakuto...I'm so sorry...I didn't...I didn't know what else to do when she told me that she knew about your past and would hurt you and I...I didn't know what to do...but it...but it's okay because you came h...home and stopped h...her and you didn't h...hate me...and...y...you said it would all be okay and...and that...that you would wash it away and you...you..."
Gakuto wasn't even aware he was crying again until his vision went all blurry. He just figured out why Yuushi wanted to stay in the damn bath earlier and Gakuto selfishly cut it short because he was upset with his own stupid feelings. Yuushi looked so together all the time and took such good care of Gakuto that it was easy to forget the tensai wasn't always okay. Yuushi had things to deal with too.
Maybe even really big things because Gakuto wondered again which was worse. Having something horrible happen to you once, or having someone you were supposed to trust hurt you and threaten you again and again. Over and over. And back then, Yuushi was all alone. Gakuto all of a sudden realized Yuushi had always been all alone. All this time, Yuushi really didn't have anyone to turn to or even to talk things over with. Not good friends. Not good family. Not anyone around him he could love and trust.
Until now.
Gakuto was crying because his heart was breaking for the first time for someone else other than himself. He said to Yuushi and believed in his own words, and hoped with all his heart Yuushi believed in them too, "It is okay, Yuushi. It is. I did wash it all away offa you and you washed it all away offa me. It's all gone. All washed away and it's all clean and you're clean and I'm clean. It's all gone and there's just us left. Okay, Yuushi? Look, you protected me with Naomi and then I protected you. That's what we do for each other, right?"
Yuushi nodded through tears and Gakuto kissed him just to be closer to him.
They were both crying, but Gakuto felt like he had to comfort the tensai more, "See? It's all okay, I'm not mad, and you're never gonna have to do that again. And we're gonna hurt her, Yuushi. We are. We're gonna figure out whatever it is she's up to and we're gonna destroy her. We are gonna bring that bitch down. And you know what? I'm not gonna let her or anyone else ever hurt you again, Yuushi. Just like you're not gonna let anyone hurt me, I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you. Not ever again. I swear it. I'm your best friend, and I'll always be your best friend. Your best friend and more because...because that bitch and your stupid bastard tutor? They don't count, Yuushi. They don't. Your kinda first time wasn't with her tonight or any other time before with anyone else. It was tonight with me. It was you with me and just kinda like a preview usin a living bad sex kinda toy. Yuushi, the first time you have sex with anyone its gonna be me with you. The first time you have sex with anyone its gonna be you with me, too."
Gakuto just realized something, "The first time someone who really cares about me has sex with me is gonna be you with me, Yuushi. Nothing else counts. Nothing else matters and no one ever comes between us again, alright? You're gonna be my first and I'm gonna be yours. That's how it's supposed to be. That's how normal people do things. Isn't that right?"
"Yes...it...it is." Yuushi nodded and kissed him. Hard, sweet, and it felt as if Yuushi was meaning it completely from the bottom of his soul.
Gakuto kissed him back meaning it like that too. Saying with his body everything he couldn't say yet with words, Gakuto tried to say it all with his heart and soul in a kiss. It was as if the two of them had made a sacred vow and sealed their pact with a kiss. It felt right and very important.
When it was done, Yuushi pulled back and looked all moony and serious at Gakuto as if trying to memorize the moment. Maybe so Yuushi could hold on to it. It kinda made sense. Yuushi hated taking pictures and the rumor about the tensai was that he didn't even have any of his family or friends. Because of the dumb rumor, girls constantly gave Yuushi their pictures which he usually threw out as soon as the coast was clear. Once a fangirl asked Yuushi why he didn't carry pictures in his wallet. She was fawning annoyingly all over him at a party and asked if it was because he could remember everything in his head. Yuushi being Yuushi said oblivious to how it would hurt the girl's feelings that the reason he had no pictures was simply because there was no one that he wanted to have a picture of.
But only Gakuto knew the truth. Hidden away on a password protected site the tensai probably thought Gakuto didn't know about, Yuushi had pictures of his family. There was no family portrait and some were of his dad from magazine articles, but the tensai had them. He also had one of the team from back when they were freshmen. It was taken right before last year's regionals and the clever tensai had made a copy from it. A cropped and enlarged copy. He was standing behind and a little to the left of Gakuto with his hand on Gakuto's right shoulder. Gakuto hated that picture because they had made him stand on a rock so he looked as tall as everyone else. You couldn't see the rock but what you could see was Atobe was totally posing and all annoyed because Jiroh jumped between Atobe and Shishido in the shot at the last second. Gakuto was laughing at everyone's antics. They all were. The cropped and enlarged picture Yuushi kept hidden was just him and Yuushi smiling and laughing. It looked like Yuushi's arm was around him and he guessed it was, but Yuushi seemed to do it at the time to keep Gakuto from slipping off the smooth stone.
In the edited version, standing there, like that, together laughing, they looked like a couple. It was Yuushi's only non-family picture and Gakuto noticed it was the one the tensai looked at most often. When Gakuto first saw the site and the picture, he had been furious. He thought the tensai was gonna pull some lame prank on him or joke about it. Gakuto braced and cringed for some kinda fallout, but Yuushi never said a word.
Gakuto finally understood. He understood that and a lot of other things. He had an urge to look at the picture again and wondered what Yuushi thought the hundreds of times he looked at it. Over and over even with his photographic memory. Gakuto decided to print one of those pictures out and give it to Yuushi sometime. The tensai would be really surprised and probably very happy. He might even carry it in his wallet. Maybe Gakuto could make that Yuushi's new computer wallpaper. Or he could put it on the tensai's cell phone. Gakuto was filled with a sudden unfamiliar urge to do goofy things like that for Yuushi just to make him happy. And show him that Gakuto cared. He really did.
The tensai's face was all puffy from crying, and yet somehow Yuushi still managed to look kinda handsome. Yuushi smiled at him and said all lovey, "I love you. Gakuto, I love you so much..."
"Show me," Gakuto's words sounded both hoarse from crying and full of emotion from how he was feeling. They slipped past Gakuto's lips before he even thought about them.
Yuushi looked at him surprised, but the moment Gakuto heard his own words, he knew they felt right. That all of this between them felt right. No matter what they physically did or didn't do, they needed to be with each other right now.
Gakuto tried to explain, "Yuushi? I wanna be with you and I want you to be with me. Right now. I don't care what you do or what parts you use. I really don't. I just...if you wanna, I really just...I just really wanna be with you. You know? I wanna feel even closer to you. I wanna feel more with you and I want you to feel more with me. I wanna...I want you to feel good, Yuushi. I wanna make you feel good. You know?"
The goofy Yuushi, and the serious one, and the brainiac one, and the silly one, and the sexy one, and the lonely little boy one, and the wounded one, and the dangerous one, and the stupid one, and the fierce one, and the tensai one, and the lovey one, and every other one Gakuto had ever met and even some that he had not even seen yet all suddenly melted together into just this one Yuushi. This one amazing one Yuushi that somehow was all of them at once. The one right in front of Gakuto. His Yuushi.
His Yuushi who was nodding in complete agreement with him, "Yes. I know. I feel the same. I want to, Gakuto. More than anything I want to, but I...I must admit I'm not sure where or how to begin..."
Gakuto had an idea, "I think I know. I think we just start like how we were gonna before, and then we just kinda let whatever happens...happen, okay? But we keep the lights on like this and we don't have anything or anyone between us. Nothing hidden in the dark. Never again. From now on, it's just gonna be us and as long as we talk and things it'll always be okay. But Yuushi, that means you never have to hide things from me. Not anything. I know you. I mean I really know you. More than anyone else in the world and I like you how you are and so you can just be yourself. You don't have to worry anymore about my not liking you. And we'll try everything. We'll find out together what we both like and we'll keep the good stuff and throw out all the bad things. We'll do what's right for us, just the things we like and what feels good, okay?" Gakuto kissed him quick and then rolled over onto his stomach again before Yuushi could think too much, "We were kinda like this and you were at my tail bone when we left off. I broke my tail bone, remember?"
Nervously, heart pounding, Gakuto pressed his face down into the soft comforter while he waited to see what Yuushi would do. He let his breath out in a sigh of relief only when he felt Yuushi's hands slide almost hesitantly over his lower back and up between his shoulders. Another spot that was often sore from long hours on the court and long hours hunched over working on a computer or studying.
A little more touching and soon Yuushi's hands moved more and more confidently over Gakuto's skin. They drifted down to the center of Gakuto's back rubbing and caressing there. Lower still they moved with a soft touch. It felt like Yuushi's fingertips only over his back and then dipping down to touch over his legs. Yuushi was taking a long time. A really long time and while it felt good, Gakuto was tempted to hurry him up to move along quicker to something better.
But after he rushed Yuushi out of the bath earlier, Gakuto decided he could wait until Yuushi was ready this time. Almost all the things Gakuto had ever heard about Yuushi from other people slowly slid into place, but Gakuto pushed all his thoughts aside to concentrate as Yuushi touched his fingertips lightly to Gakuto's inner thighs. They were usually ticklish, but now they weren't for some reason. Now they just felt warm and almost tingly wherever the tensai rubbed his hands.
Anticipating good things, Gakuto was hard. Heck he was naked and someone was touching him, but Gakuto was belly-down on the soft bed and his erection was down between his legs. He wondered if Yuushi noticed it. Poor thing was sitting there untouched, but wanting to be felt up so badly. Yuushi touched everywhere else but there which was frustrating. Gakuto thought to himself that maybe Yuushi didn't see it. Gakuto wiggled his hips so Yuushi could see everything better. He was tryin to be patient but Yuushi kept touching him everywhere but there. Was the tensai teasing him? Was Yuushi just takin his time or was this some kinda new problem Gakuto should be worried about? Maybe Yuushi didn't want to touch him there. Gakuto didn't know. What he did know is he was gonna stop wiggling around and hinting because Yuushi wasn't getting any of his clues. Did he need to draw the tensai a map?
Suddenly, Yuushi ran a soft fingertip over Gakuto's tip making Gakuto almost jump with sensation. Gakuto heard himself moan as Yuushi touched him feather light again. Okay, now this was really getting interesting.
Gently Yuushi moved Gakuto's legs a little more apart and Gakuto helped him. Just a little for easier access. Truth be told, Gakuto could do a full split in any direction, something he knew Yuushi musta seen since the tensai was always watching him. Gakuto wickedly wondered how that little nugget of information must have turned on the tensai, and he smiled to think of it.
Yuushi massaged Gakuto's butt a bit and then separated his cheeks. He touched Gakuto's entrance very gently with a soft caress. Then again using a very light swirling touch of a fingertip. So light, Gakuto had to force himself to not press down or make the teasing touches more. Yuushi rubbed around and touched there again and again, but each time was a light touch. A tease. It was all Gakuto could do to not make a sound because he didn't want Yuushi to stop. At one point he even thought to tell Yuushi yes, to let the tensai win their earlier game, but Gakuto decided that wasn't enough fun. Yuushi deserved to have a lot more fun and more importantly, the tensai liked a challenge. Gakuto decided to just be his normal self--and his normal self would never let anyone win at anything if he could help it.
And then in mid-swirl of a fingertip over his entrance, Yuushi licked him there with a wide, wet lap of his tongue. Gakuto's breath caught at this new sensation and he just held in a moan in time. Yuushi somehow didn't even move the bed so there had been no warning and no way to know if it would happen again. Gakuto hoped it would.
Yuushi went back to his fingertips teasing and just when Gakuto was wondering if he imagined Yuushi licking him, the tensai did it again. Gakuto shivered but not from cold. He felt chill bumps raise up all over his skin and that hot melting feeling in his belly start again. The one Gakuto always felt when he started to get really, really turned on.
After the initial tongue laps, Yuushi kept at it with delicate flips and swirls. Little tongue licks and teasings. Almost like he was lovingly kissing Gakuto's mouth.
Gakuto smiled into the bed covers at the thought. If it didn't feel so damn amazing he mighta even laughed. Yuushi licked into him soft like a whisper and then down over his testicles to the tip of his erection. The tensai sucked wetly at his foreskin and nibbled at it, making Gakuto shudder again. He tried to raise his hips of the bed but his knees felt like they wouldn't hold him up and the tensai musta seen he was gonna try to move. Yuushi put one large warm hand on his lower back as if to say stay there. The tensai didn't push him down, he just rested his big hand there while he licked away at Gakuto. Which was a whole new kinda sexy. Damn Yuushi was good.
Yuushi licked at his sensitive tip and Gakuto heard himself sigh a moan. He wanted Yuushi to take him all the way into his warm, wet mouth but the tensai's busy tongue licked back up along his shaft and then Gakuto felt Yuushi's lips at his testicles again. Yuushi gently sucked one into his mouth and Gakuto whimpered a moan of pleasure. At his sound Yuushi let go and he could feel Yuushi moving on the bed.
The tensai moved up so he was sitting by Gakuto's left shoulder. He started rubbing his hands down Gakuto's back and teasing him lower again, but Gakuto decided he could not just lay there doing nothing any longer. If he was gonna be really turned on then he was gonna do the same back to Yuushi. He had to because he couldn't take this laying around when Yuushi should be touched and teased too.
Gakuto realized his hands were clinging on to bunches of the comforter and so he relaxed his fists. He slid his right hand up the bed slowly until he felt Yuushi's knee. The tensai musta been kneeling. Gakuto was amazed at how muscular and cut Yuushi was even in his legs. Damn that was hot. Gakuto moved his hand along Yuushi's inner thigh until he reached his testicles. Gakuto held them in his hand, hefted their weight, and felt their fullness. Yuushi didn't moan so much as groan and then he paused his hands on Gakuto's skin. The tensai said, "I...if they touch me, I tell them I'm fine and that they should stop..."
Chuckling low in his throat Gakuto said, "Yeah? Well that was fine for when you were with them, but I'm not one of them. I usually never do what you tell me to anyway." But then Gakuto had a thought, "Uh...unless you really want me to stop or something?"
"No...I...it's okay if it's you. I...I like when you touch me." Yuushi sounded all lusty and like he couldn't think right--which was just how Gakuto wanted him. But that goofy always thinkin tensai part of him musta still been able to function a little bit. "We...we should pick a code word."
"A what? Code word?" What the hell? Were they spies now? Gakuto hadn't expected that.
"I've read about it. It's a word that either of us can say in case one of us really wants to stop and isn't teasing or joking. Then we both know to stop and that we have to. It's like...a panic button. Or a computer's escape key." Oh. Well that made more sense. Gakuto was just going to suggest they use something simple, and maybe funny, but Yuushi said, "It has to be something we would never normally say--even in jest so that there are never any mistakes."
Gakuto thought out loud, "Well, I can't say the L word, but you say that all the time to me so we can't use that."
Yuushi sounded confused, "The L word...do you mean love? You can't say the word love? But...I've heard you say it. When your parents were visiting."
"Duh...that's my parents. I've never said it to anyone. Non-family, Yuushi." Gakuto rolled his eyes but kept kinda playing with Yuushi's balls. He kinda liked how their weight rolled around in his hand, and he knew Yuushi liked it because the tensai wasn't working on full brain power. Or he woulda known to not say something so stupid.
"But...I heard you. I heard you say it to Sato. On several oc..." Yuushi stopped talking because Gakuto's hand froze. He moved it fast away from Yuushi because Gakuto was seized with a surge of anger that made him want to squeeze down as hard as he possibly could.
Quickly Gakuto moved in a push up and then pulled his knees forward so he was kneeling too. He punctuated his words on Yuushi's chest with his hands to try to shove the stupid tensai away, "Why would you say that to me? Is there any blood gettin to your brain or are you tryin to piss me off? I said it because Sato made me! I had to say it! I never felt that way about Sato! Are you crazy? I hated him! I had to always say it when he asked or he woulda beat the crap outta me if I didn't! Everyone knows I never say it to anyone so that's why!" The only thing that kept Gakuto rooted to the bed was how shocked Yuushi looked.
And then how dejected the tensai seemed right after. Yuushi looked like all the air was drained out of him and like he wanted to reach for Gakuto, but the tensai was too afraid to. Yuushi nervously went to adjust glasses that weren't there, "I...I'm sorry. I didn't know. I mean, there were times when I thought you didn't truly feel that way about him with how he was towards you, but even so, I thought there might have once been a time when you felt that way about him..."
Gakuto was still mad, but after his initial outburst his anger was rapidly cooling like steam from a hot bath disappearing in the air. Yuushi hadn't asked because he was mean, he was just clueless about stuff like this. Gakuto tried to explain, "Well, there wasn't. I liked him at first yeah, but I didn't trust him all the way. Not with what happened to me before with Azukizawa and it turns out I was right to not trust Sato because he's an even bigger bastard. If what you said about Azukizawa is true, then he's just a scared asshole, but Sato is an out and out bastard. Sato gets off on hurting people--and he gets off the most on hurting me. If I didn't say it then it woulda made Sato happy because he woulda hurt bad me and I didn't want that. I hate Sato, Yuushi. I really, really hate him."
"He'll never hurt you again. I swear it." Yuushi seemed to hesitate and then held his arms open. "Please? Are you cold?"
Gakuto paused a moment and then scrambled to the stupid tensai. "I'm not cold. The fire and you are keepin me warm, but now you made me all tense again. I'd never say somethin like that to a bastard like Sato if I didn't have to. And you know me better than that!"
Yuushi moved so they were both laying down. "I'm sorry, I'll relax you again if you would like? And regardless, I'm glad you told me this. I've been rather jealous of you saying those words to Sato."
Gakuto turned to him surprised and looked carefully to see if Yuushi was kidding. The big dummy wasn't. "You were jealous? Seriously? Why? Cause I said it to Sato and not you? Doesn't matter. It's not the same kinda thing at all, and now you know." Gakuto shrugged. "Know what's funny, at least that rumor about me really is true. I've never said it to anyone who isn't my family or when some bastard didn't make me say it. I don't think that really counts, do you?" Yuushi shook his head no and fixed the part on Gakuto's hair with one long finger. It was ironic to Gakuto that Yuushi with his currently crazy hair would worry so much over his but he didn't say anything. Yuushi liked to do this for whatever reason so Gakuto curled up closer to him and let him. He shrugged again, "Yeah I don't think it counts either. You ever say it to anyone?"
"Besides you? And besides to my sister or my parents? I said it to my tutor and there were times when I meant it." Gakuto looked up at Yuushi shocked. Really shocked. How the hell could Yuushi love a bastard like that?
Yuushi blushed a little or maybe he was warm from the fire. He said all serious, "Gakuto, this is hard to explain, but I'll try. You have to first understand that things with my tutor were not always bad. Before my tutor came along I had several nannies. From the time I was born until just before my third birthday, a nanny watched me around the clock. I'm sure they are the kind of people who love children because they wouldn't choose that vocation if they didn't, but it was their job to care for me. I was not their child. There was a night nanny, a day one, a different one on weekends, and then a fourth if the others were busy. Apparently I rarely saw my parents and there were two reasons they decided to hire a full time live-in tutor for me. One was they had my IQ tested and found it to be high and two, one of the nannies tried to abduct me."
Gakuto looked at Yuushi surprised.
The tensai smiled softly, "She didn't get far. She never got past the gates of my parent's estate, and my parents did not press charges for the attempted kidnapping. Instead they fired her and the other nannies and that week found my tutor. He came highly recommended apparently."
"Wait, wait." Gakuto wanted Yuushi to back up, "One of your nannies tried to kidnap you? Why?"
Yuushi shrugged, "I wanted to know too which is why I located one of my former nannies and asked. My parents would not discuss it with me. My cousin told me that it happened several years ago or I would have never known. The one I asked said the woman who tried to abduct me had been with me from the day I came home from the hospital. She accused my mother of only touching me in my entire life that she had seen in three years of only around five minutes. She had never seen my mother hold me, kiss me, or hug me. None of the nannies had it seems. She said the one who abducted me was the one who was with me the most. She was the one who watched me take my first steps, who taught me my first words, and who toilet trained me. Apparently, she felt some affection for me and decided I would have a better life with her. She was young. Only twenty so that may have had something to do with her rash...what?"

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Learning to Land