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Portrait Without Sin	By : animeyaoi Category: +. to F > FAKE Views: 4374 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own FAKE, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
Disclaimer: FAKE, nor any of it�s characters belong to me�* sigh *� those rights all belong to Sanami Matoh.

Warning: Not your �nice� everyday fanfic of your favorite couple. Very strong language / Humiliation (depending on how you look at it) / Angst / Lime, Lemon / Yaoi. Rating will tend to go up in later chapters.

Summary: How would it be if the one person you trusted with your heart was found to have betrayed it? Seeing him there, with� �him� was nearly more than he could bare. He never thought that he would do something like this. He never thought that he would be betrayed by him.
Yes, the character�s might seem a little out of character, but then how would you react?
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Quotation marks �.� = talking

Italics, apostrophe marks �like this� = thoughts to oneself.

*********** = skips of moments, time, views of people, and such
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Portrait Without Sin

By: Ryoan

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Part 11: What To Do

Memories. They leave a sick bitter taste in your mouth occasionally when you�re forced to look in retrospect. Finally able to see all the things clearly that, at the time, a mind refuses to accept or take hold of.

~*~*~ Reminiscences ~*~*~

�Dee�� Ryo started again.

�Shut� the� fuck� up,� Ryo.�

******

�I don�t want to hear your excuses!� The grip on Ryo�s shirt tighten.

�I�m not making excuses, Dee. If you would just��

�What, listen?� Dee snapped. �To what? Words coming out of a mouth that�s had someone else�s cock in it?! A mouth that belonged to me, and you� you fucking soiled it with someone else�s cum?!�

�No,� Ryo denied what his lover was accusing him of. �I didn�t��

******

Shaking his brownish-blonde hair, Ryo pleaded, �It�s not what you think��

******

�You took me for a fool, Ryo. I told you to never take my feelings for you as a joke!�

�Dee, I haven�t� You don�t understand�� He raised himself to sit up, reaching a hand out to him. �Please,��

Dee stepped back out of his reach, and knocked his hand away.

******

Looking off to the side, he responded, �I had hoped to keep it a secret until it was finished.�

Thinking back, Dee grimaced. He had taken his words and formed it into something he thought it was because of what he saw, not actually listening to what Ryo had been saying. Knowing now what he had in the back of his car, �it� took on a whole different meaning. How could he have done that? How could he have not given him the chance to explain himself?

�Because of all the other �evidence�, which allow you to jump to that conclusion.� A voice in the back of his head answered his own questions. �And when you walked in there� seeing them� what else was you going to think?�

�Thing of it is,� another voice chimed in. � you wouldn�t give him the chance.�

******

�Dee, I didn�t mean to deceive you about what I was doing, but I didn�t want you finding out about before��

******

�Dee!� Ryo shot up off the couch, despite his nakedness, and rushed to grab the leaving man�s arm. �Please! Don�t leave! You still don�t understand why��

******

��you don�t understand,� Ryo pushed desperately onward. �It�s not what you�re thinking! I don�t care for Armon in that way, Dee. There�s only you! I only love you!�

******

�I am leaving, Ryo, and I�m not coming back. I don�t want to be with a fucking whore.�

�You�re wrong, Dee. I�m not��

******

�Damn it, Dee! Listen to me,� Ryo started forcefully desperate, but then his words gave way to pleading. �Don�t do this. Please! Come over to the apartment. We can talk. I really need to tell you that��

�It doesn�t matter,� he cutting him off, closing his eyes against him�

��you�re wrong��

Dee jerked his captured arm free of Ryo�s grasp.

�I love you, Dee! Won�t you please��

Pushing Ryo away, Dee said flatly, �It�s over. I don�t care anymore.�

�That�s not true!�

�It is. You want someone to cry on, go run to Armon. I�m sure he will kiss and make it better for ya!�

That had been the last thing he had said to him, and it had almost been a week ago -- the day of their first anniversary.

�Some anniversary present, huh, Ryo?� Dee murmured bitterly at his inanity. �Wasn�t what I had in mind either.�

*****************

How many times had his partner desperately wanted to talk to him? How many times had he tried, only to be ignored or prevented from doing that very thing? How many times had he been about to say something only to be cut short time and time again? Would Ryo have told him about everything if he would have given him the chance?

How many times had he ignored his calls, either erasing them before he listened, or simply cut him off? Could he have said something then about all of this?

How many times did he miss Ryo telling him he didn�t, or hadn�t, or that he, Dee, himself, was wrong? A half dozen, maybe more?

Those two words echoed over and over in his head, taunting him.

��you�re wrong��

�You were right, Ryo,� he grimaced. �I was wrong. And I have no idea what I�m going to do to make it up to you,� if I ever can.�

*****************

The silver key.

He leaned the paintings against the door frame, as he dug the ring of keys he had, out of his pocket. For some reason, instead of tossing the metal object to the side, throwing it away, or just placing it back on Ryo�s desk, Dee had eventually place it back on his key ring.

He had toyed with the key for the best part of a week, though, before he did that. Caressing it inside his pocket, between his thumb and forefinger, in mindless absence; having shifted it from one pants pocket to the next when he changed his clothing. Finally, he had just placed it back on his key ring, and now, he was glad he had it.

As he turned the key, the lock gave a soft click, and Dee let himself into the apartment as he slowly pushed the door open. Glancing around, he spied Bikky at the kitchen counter with his back to him and headphones on, blaring some kind of rock music in his ears. There was a pot on the stove, and near him was a tray with a bowl on it, and by his movements standing there, he seemed absorbed in making a sandwich. As his attention was distracted, Dee reached back out into the hallway and grabbed a hold of the paintings; bringing them inside.

Dee sat the bundles against the wall near the entrance, and then closed the door. With the kid still oblivious of his presence, he moved further into the room, taking notice of how the kitchen looked slightly in a shambles. His unnoticed grace was about to end, for no sooner did he glance back at the younger male, did green eyes meet striking blue.

First, startlement etched the young face as he glanced over his shoulder, then he narrowed his eyes. Before Dee knew it, the teen launched himself into him, hitting and kicking at him. The ferocity of the attack knocked the older man backwards, landing them both on the floor. Dee struggled to subdue the crazed blonde, warding off the blows that the kid threw at him, though not being successful with all of them. All the while, the teenager berated and slung filthy names at him.

�You fucking asshole! You worthless piece of shit! I knew you weren�t any fucking good! I knew it!�

They tousled about on the floor until Dee finally managed to get a hold on the boy to stop his flaying.

�Bikky stop! Stop!�

Straining against the man�s hold, Bikky seethed, �Get out of here, or I�ll call the cops!�

�I am the cops.�

�Others will still come and make you leave!�

�Settle down,� Dee ordered between clenched teeth when the heel of a tennis shoe struck him in the shin. �Where�s Ryo?�

�Like I would tell you, you fucking pervert!�

Trapping the kid�s legs with his own, Dee tightly held onto the younger boy in an effort to restrain his thrashing.

�You sick fuck! How dare you come back here after what you�ve done to him! I knew you�d hurt him! I knew it! If something bad happens to Ryo� I� I�ll� I�ll kill you!�

�Where is he, Bik?�

The stubborn teen refused to answer, his body stiffened as he stilled his movements. It allow Dee to roll them over a bit to where he could get up while holding onto the feisty kid.

�If you�ll behave, I�ll let you go.� Dee waited a few moments until he felt the teenager�s body relax slightly.

Precautiously, Dee gradually did as he said he would, but once Bikky was completely free, the quick, wiry kid twirled around and connected a fist to Dee�s jaw. His dark head slung sideways with the blow, which even had him take a staggering step back.

�Damn it, Bikky!�

�Get the hell out of here!�

�I�m not going anywhere until I talk with Ryo.�

�Like he�d want to talk to you now!�

Those words were like cold fingers running down his spine, of which he was afraid them to be all too true.

�Where�s he at, Bikky?�

�Like I�d fucking tell you!�

He had enough of the kid�s mouth. If he wouldn�t tell him, he would just look on his own, but before he managed to get turned around, Dee felt a hand grab his arm trying to hold him back.

�He doesn�t need you!�

�That�s not��

�You were the one that fucking left him, you bastard!�

Dee�s face went somber in view of the anger that the blonde haired teenager held in his, and instead of being defensive over the hold the boy had, Dee released the wary tenseness.

�Yes, I did, but I�m�� How could he say �back�. He didn�t know if Ryo would toss him, himself, out the door or not. �I need to see him.�

�Why should your need to see him be more important than his to see you?� Bikky tossed at him. �You didn�t have a problem tossing him to the side when the shoe was on the other foot, now did you?�

There was a pause of silence as Dee stood there, staring down into the sparkling blue eyes of the boy.

�Every day I�ve watch Ryo come home, make dinner, check my school work, and go into the bedroom. That sounds normal, but it isn�t! Not when it�s just� automated.� Bikky paused again, but only to take a shaky breath to continue on. �And when he�s alone, I� I hear him cry.�

Releasing Dee�s arm, the teenager tighten his hands into fists, but kept them at his side. �He�s cried every fucking day that you�ve been gone, damn you! Sometimes, late at night, I�ve heard him. I�ve tried to go to him, but then he acts like I was hearing things and tells me it�s alright. But it�s not!�

The teen�s anger boiled, his fists clenching and unclenching in an effort to control what restrain he had left.

�Every since you went out and screwed with that�� It was Bikky that cut himself off from his words, as for once words failed him, and he pressed his lips together in a tight line; his body vibrating.

�He�s been in bed for the last three days,� He shot up three fingers in Dee�s face for emphasis. �and won�t eat anything. He�s cried�� Dee watched as the blue of the kid�s eyes turned into an ocean themselves. ��every day� he hasn�t stopped��

Bikky fought to keep the tears from spilling out onto his cheeks. His anger rising further, feeling his weakness displayed in front of the asshole that had thrown their lives into turmoil.

�You made my dad cry, you faggot! You hurt him! You were suppose to keep him happy. I trusted you�!!�

This time, he struck out again, throwing a punch without care of where it landed, only the person he threw it at stepped into the blow, taking the hit as he wrapped his arms around the boy that was starting to break down.

�I trusted you!� Bikky strained against him. �You just shut him out��

Dee held him tighter.

�You weren�t suppose to hurt him�! You weren�t�! �

�If I can, I�ll make things right, Bik. Just�� What was he to say? Trust me?

�Y-You don�t deserve��

�I know.�

*****************

The room was quiet as he went in; his eyes falling immediately to the form that was on the bed. Keeping his steps quiet, Dee moved closer, and there he saw Ryo, curled up with his arms clutching around a huge pillow. He was sound asleep, but it hadn�t been too long, since there were still wet tracks on his face.

Settling upon the side of the bed, Dee shifted so that he could gaze at Ryo�s face, relaxed from the obvious pain he had been in. Reaching out a hand, he brushed back unwashed hair that laid limply against his skin. Even against the white sheets, he was so pale. He looked to have lost weight from not eating, and there were dark circles under red puffy eyes.

God, what had he done? He had hurt the one person he had swore that he completely, totally loved. Hell, seeing him like this, went beyond hurting him. What was he to do? What was he suppose to say? �Hey, Ryo, how about that talk now?� What did he say to the person that he hadn�t given one single chance to?

Worry that Ryo wouldn�t give him one, caused a sickening twist in his stomach. What Bikky had said wasn�t anything he hadn�t thought himself, and after seeing the torment that he had put his lover through, he was sure that he didn�t deserve anything from him. The ache spread up through his chest and down through his limbs; he just wanted to gather him up in his arms and tell him over and over that he was there now.

Leaning down, Dee kissed the temple of his head, then whispered, �God, I�m so sorry, Ryo.�

*****************

Something�

Something was pulling him from the darkness of his sleep. Pulling him from the one place that he didn�t have to be aware that he hurt. Everything was just a huge void where he felt nothing, where he knew nothing. But something was alerting his senses into waking, and the painfulness of knowing he had to face more endless moments without Dee was already becoming unbearable.

His eyes hurt even before he tried to open them, and when he did try, the thick puffiness made him feel as if he were pushing up so many layers of skin that he couldn�t open them all the way. He gave a mournful groan as he struggled to wake up from a sleep he didn�t want to stir from.

His eyes opened a bit more, and, at first glance, it didn�t register to react -- the sight numbing his brain -- but then his eyes widened in response. A whimper issued forth, and he quickly closed his eyes and buried his face in the pillow.

�Ryo��

�W-What are you doing here?� came the muffled request.

�To see about you.�

�Why would you do that? Did Bikky call you over, because if he did�?�

�No. He didn�t call me.�

There was several moments of pause before the blonde lifted his head partially off the pillow, only to turn his face away as he said, �I�m fine, so you can leave now.�

�You�re not fine. You look half dead.�

�I�m alive,� He returned as if that should be all that mattered.

�Barely.�

�Go away, Dee. Go back to Dick� or Derek or whatever his name is. I don�t want you here.�

�Maybe not,� Dee answered with grim acknowledgement. �But��

�Just� go away, Dee.�

�You going to stay in this bed another three days?�

In surprise, Ryo turned toward the other man sitting next to him. �How did�? I thought you said��

��that he didn�t call me over here. He didn�t. But I certainly had a run in with him once I got here. Damn kid is getting a good right hook.� A hand went up to the side of his jaw to give it a soothing rub.

With the look of resigning defeat, he murmured, �There�s no reason to be concerning yourself with me.�

�Like hell there isn�t.�

Rolling over, Ryo attempted to reject the man�s presence. �Leave me alone, Dee.�

�Can�t do that, Ryo. Get up. You�ve been in this bed for three days. You�re going into the bathroom and take a shower, then you�re going to put on a change of clothes and have something to eat.� Then he added, questioningly, �By the way, when was the last time you ate?�

�You can�t tell me what to do, Dee. This is my apartment. I don�t have to get up, take a shower, dress, or eat if I don�t want to.�

�Don�t make me have to carry your ass in there.�

�I�m not making you do anything�� Ryo shot back. �except to leave! So, go away! I don�t want to see you!�

�Too bad, Ryo. I�m not leaving. Now get up,� There was a shift on the bed as Dee stood up. �or I will pick you up myself.�

Ryo clasped his pillow tighter, refusing to move, but then he felt the blanket jerked off him, and strong arms wrapped around his waist pulling him off the bed.

�W-Wha�.�

�I told you�� came the indomitable voice behind him.

Releasing the hold on his pillow, Ryo started to struggle, but Dee managed to lock him in a hold similar to the one he had on Bikky a while ago. It wasn�t much of an effort� well, it was an effort just not as much as he would have expected under different circumstances. Depression and not eating for days on end had weakened the half Japanese, and he wasn�t able to put up as strong of a fight.

With both wrists captured and arms pinned crosswise against his chest, Ryo tried to brace his feet against the floor, but Dee would lean back and lift him up a bit, and continue on. He tried entangling his legs around Dee�s, but the man had been ready for that too and foiled any attempt.

�Let go of me, Dee!� he demanded, trying to wriggle out of the hold on him.

�You can fight me all you want,� He returned back with a grunt, then added with a much milder tone, �but I�m not letting you go.�

*****************

The hardest was trying to get the door open, because he had to release his hold on Ryo. The first attempt to open the door was thwarted when Ryo slammed it back shut with his freed hand. They struggled, whereas Dee had to press him to the wall -- almost as if he were subduing a criminal -- until he recaptured his wrist. Keeping him against the wall to prevent his arm from escaping, Dee released him again to open the door once more. But a foot was as good as a hand in that matter, and before there was even a two inch space, it was pushed shut -- and held that way with his foot being used as a wedge.

�Get -- Off -- Me!� Ryo gritted, his cheek plastered to the wall.

�I�ll get off,�� Dee retorted back, fitting his foot around Ryo�s leg and forcing it away from the door. ��when I get you into the bathroom.�

Leaning his weight into Ryo a bit more, setting himself to block any further opposition, he was able to throw the door wide open. Reclaiming his hold, he managed, to bodily, get Ryo out of the room.

He was part way to the bathroom when Bikky appeared.

�Bikky,� Ryo called out struggling against Dee�s hold once more.

The dark, blue eyed teen looked at him, then shifted his glance to the man behind him that had arms locked around him. His eyes narrowed, and Dee could tell what his mind was clicking and gearing toward.

�Bikky,� Dee�s voice was firm. �You want Ryo this way� shutting himself away in his room?�

The kid stood there, still looking vehemently upset with the dark hair man, but at least he did not come charging after him.

�Bikky,� Ryo half pleaded.

�That�s low to try using the kid, Ryo.�

�Then let go of me.�

�Already did that once. Not going to happen again.� Glancing back at the angry, yet still immobile adolescent, Dee ordered with a toss of his head, �Bikky, get Ryo a change of clothes.�

The kid started toward them, his eyes dead set on Dee, who felt Ryo�s body relax a bit, but then he glanced straight into Ryo�s eyes just before he moved past both of them.

�B-Bikky�� Ryo implored weakly, seeing as the boy that had always came to his aid before, even without asking, walked by without lifting a finger -- or a foot -- in his defense. His action took both men by surprise as he moved toward Ryo�s room.

Dee recovered enough to become mobile, hauling Ryo toward the bathroom without much resistance this time, whereas the other man was in a mild state of shock to be ignored by the person he had taken in and cared for over the past three years.

*****************

In the bathroom, Ryo just stood watching, with a half open mouth, as Dee began stripping himself of his own clothing. Eyes that drank in the site of him, still ached with a good measure of pain within their depths. That was the look Dee caught after pulling his shirt off, but then the blonde tilted his head forward and turned his face away with a blush tingeing his cheeks.

Damn, the man could still be embarrassed.

Since Ryo made no effort to remove his own clothing, once completely naked, Dee turned his attention upon him. Taking the initiative, he hooked his thumbs into the waistband of Ryo�s pajama bottoms and pushed them downward. That was all it took for him to be naked, and Dee was somewhat surprised when there wasn�t any opposition from the man that had put up such a struggle before.

Bringing his hands up to rest lightly upon Ryo�s upper hips, there was a few moments pause as he noticed how much his bones jutted out sharply.

�Damn it, Ryo. How long have you been starving yourself?� he wondered to himself, then felt a whisper of a tremble course through the man�s body. Raising his gaze to his face, Dee could unmistakably see the real reason Ryo had turned his head, and it wasn�t just from his awkward bashfulness that he was trying to conceal from him.

With a tightening determination, Dee turned Ryo toward the shower with a push-pull action of his hands, still amazed that he did not put up any resistance as he was guided to it. Stopping at the side of the tub, Dee bent to turn on the water, adjusting it to temp; all the while keeping one hand on the backside of Ryo�s waist. Once that was accomplished, he lifted the plug, and the shower head started it�s spray.

�In.� Was all that he ordered, and the acquiescent blonde lifted his leg and stepped under the warm cascading liquid.

Reach over to the sink, Dee grabbed the electric razor that was still there, the tube of toothpaste and Ryo�s toothbrush, then stepped into the tub himself, pulling the shower curtain the remaining way close.

*****************

The spray rained down upon his head, its almost hot pelt felt good against his weary form. He pushed back the wet strands of hair that the water forced into his face, and was doing as such when Dee stepped in with him.

�Here,� His one time partner said after reaching out and taking a hold of his wrist to place the razor in his hand. �Step back a little and turn around.�

With another small, directing tug, Ryo was brought out from under the down pour of water and turned so he faced away from the dark haired man.

�Shave.� Came the next order, but instead of doing as �instructed�, he just stood there. He could hear the slight movements Dee made behind him, yet he didn�t bother to look around to see what he was doing. He was too drained, and the heat of the shower aided his weariness.

�You have to turn it on for it to work, you know,� the deeper voice spoke directly behind his head, then felt his hand touch his as it searched for the switch to flick it on. The low buzz of it�s motor added it�s sound to the spray and patter of water, yet the hand that held the device still did not lift upward.

�Either you do it, Ryo, or I will,� Came another ultimatum. �Even if I have to throw you down and sit on you,� The voice then spoke much lower, right next to his ear, threatening, �and you know I�ll do it, too.�

After giving a moments thought to his words, Ryo finally lifted the vibrating device to his face and began to do as he was told.

�Damn you, Dee,� A voice in his head silently cursed. �Why are you here? You think you can just barge back into my life, ordering��

His line of thought was suddenly cut off as hands gripped the locks of his hair, and fingers began massaging his head with shampoo. Pulling the razor away, Ryo just stood there too startled to even bask in the caressing touch of his head. A gentle push against the back of his elbow, quietly told him to resume his task. Once he did, the rubbing strokes upon the top of his head did too.

He tried to concentrate on what he was doing, but Dee�s fingers were making it hard to stand there like it was the most natural thing in the world to be doing. It may have been more so at one time, but with all that has happened�

�Let�s rinse this shampoo out,� Dee�s voice broke through his musings again. �Turn around and face me.�

With a bit of encouragement from a purposeful push on his shoulder, Ryo remained compliant, doing as instructed.

*****************

Ryo. His one time angelic partner looked pretty bed ragged and worn, and it put a sterner set to his features as Dee acknowledged the fact that he had been the one to make him as such. He was too pale, and much to thin having forsaken himself during the time of his despair. The deep rich chocolate of his eyes, which were what attracted him first to the man, were even darker if possible, yet in a way that the light didn�t shine forth out of them, not even in reflection it seemed.

He wondered if Ryo hadn�t been pushed over that edge that Armon had mentioned; that place where he wouldn�t return, at least not to him anyway. But no matter where that was at, he was determined to see it through as to which way this was going to go, even if he had to bully and take an upper hand a bit. Until then, as difficult as it was touching him, having him wet and naked, he wasn�t going to let his sexual urge to take over. Pushing himself onto his already damaged lover would not be a good idea at the moment. No, he needed taken care of first -- cleaned, clothed, and fed -- there would be time for talk and confessions afterward.

Taking control and giving orders for the time being was much better to do than confess the truth and give the man something to weld over him before he was prepared.

�Will you forgive me, Ryo, or will you turn your back like I did you?� questioned the voice in his head.

*****************

He stood there with his eyes closed while strong hands worked the suds from his hair. Once, he felt himself starting to topple backward, and caught himself by grabbing a hold of Dee arms. Almost immediately, he jerked them away as if he was burnt.

�Sorry,� he mumbled sliding his look away, then added overtop of Dee�s, �It�s OK�, �I can do it myself.�

There was no verbal comment, only a hand reaching down to remove the still buzzing unit from his. The next instant, he felt a hand on the back of his nape, fingers threading through the dripping strands to gently, but effectively, pull his head back slightly. Dark eyes flew up to the other man�s face as the head of the razor touched his jaw line. Green eyes did not focus to his as they were fixed elsewhere.

The metallic surface of the screened heads rubbed smoothly across various areas of his face that he had missed, and Ryo closed his eyes against having Dee so close to him. He could push him away, he could put up a fight, but, for one, that was dangerous in a slippery tub.

�There.� The deep timber of Dee�s voice broke through Ryo�s senses finally and was completely released from the man�s hold. He blinked, seeing Dee twist away, and he was about ready to get out when an olive skin arm blocked his way.

�Here.� In his hand was his toothbrush and tube of toothpaste.

�You want me to brush my teeth in the shower,� he murmured a bit bemused.

�Does it really matter? You still wind up spitting down a drain.�

There was a surge of rebellion, but Ryo took the items from Dee�s grasp anyway, twisting off the cap to decorate the bristles of the brush with gel. He fitted the cap loosely tossing it back to the other man to deal with it, before he turned away. Bracing a hand against the tiled front, he then leaned over the drain and began vigorously brushing his teeth.

He heard Dee�s soft chuckle behind him.

�Ass.� The word came to Ryo�s mind.

So intent on scrubbing the brush over his teeth, Ryo almost stabbed the back of his throat when he felt rough� very rough� hands sliding over his back. Glancing over his shoulder, he noticed that Dee had found Carol�s blue bath mitts in the corner caddy and had put them on. He also become aware of one finger prominently pointing as the gloved hand motioned up and down, indicating that he turn back around. Dark eyes narrowed, but he turned his face back to the front, resuming the forceful brushing, -- just as the hands upon him, continued at their own task.

�I wish you�d stop.� The words came out from a mouth full of toothpaste foam.

Silence and caressing hands were his answer as they continued to rub against the skin of his back, sides and arms, sliding over his shoulders, and around his neck and throat. Reaching around further, they skimmed over his chest and down his stomach, which made him flinched. But when he felt hands against his hips, rubbing down over his backside, Ryo spit out what toothpaste he had in his mouth and nudged Dee away, as he twisted around to face him.

�I can wash myself.�

Although disappointed, Dee just held up his hands and shrugged, as if it wasn�t a big deal.

�Whatever you say.� He said nonchalantly as possible and backed off, giving Ryo the space he wanted while he went ahead and scrubbed his own self down.

*****************

Dee stepped out of the shower first so that he would be between Ryo and the door, and began to briskly rub the wetness out of his hair and over his body. Ryo was a bit slower, even though there wasn�t anything else for him to do except stand under the spraying water. It allowed time for Dee to finish drying himself, and he was just pulling his pants up over his hips when the water was turned off. The next instant, the curtain was pushed open to reveal Ryo�s dripping figure.

Picking up a dry towel, as Ryo got out of the tub, Dee then unfolded and placed it on the dripping russet locks; giving him a good head rub with it. After which, he whipped it away, only to hold it out for Ryo to take so that he could dry himself off. Dee wanted so much to be the one to do that, he would have done that, but since the man had backed him off from washing him, he doubted that he would be successful at drying him off either.

As Ryo went about the task, Dee opened the door, and stuck his head out, only to find Bikky leaning against the wall with Ryo�s clothes in his arms. The blonde head turned, and blazing blue eyes struck emerald ones full force. The two gave each other a serious look before Dee dropped his to the clothing the kid held. He was expecting something in the casual wear, but not the slumber kind, yet he wasn�t going to be particular now. The kid, however upset he was with him, had chosen to do as he asked and not taken Ryo�s side, for once.

�Thanks, Bikky,� Dee expressed his appreciation, reaching out to take them.

The teen was still very angry as he handed over Ryo�s clothes, but didn�t do or say anything� yet. He would be all too happy to kick the man�s ass out of there if Ryo gave one distressing sound of grief. His gaze said as much when Dee�s eyes met his again; the silent rapport not going �unheard�.

�Think you could warm up that soup you fixed earlier? We�ll be out shortly.�

Keeping his mouth clamped shut, Bikky did not answer verbally, but he pushed away from the wall and headed over toward the stove.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ End of Part 11 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I know you might think, how could Ryo stay asleep while Bikky was yelling and fighting with Dee. Only answer I can give is exhaustion. Depression has a way of doing that to a person, so the combination of the two just zoned him out. Enough said.

I did warn about very strong language, so I don�t apologize over Bikky�s especially while he�s really more than pissed off at Dee.

I want to give a HUGE THANK YOU to all the people that reviewed Chapter 10. Thanks to all those that �knew� it had something to do with a portrait or picture and didn�t say to keep the secret until it was exposed. To tell the truth, the story was only going to be about 4 chapters, but somehow it grew. Sadistic� maybe a little. But I�m so glad that everyone has enjoyed it so much. Maybe that�s why� or maybe it�s because I know how things can spiral out of control so quickly and your life just gets turned unbelievably every which way. Anyway, there�s only two more chapters to find out whether Dee actually wins Ryo back or not. Yeah� first it was the unfaithful thing I killed you with, now it whether they get back together because of it. Oh, man, what to do�.

Anthro-Guitarist - He�s making his visit. And thanks.

aspiker - Yep. Hint even at the end of chapter one. If you just think about the title, it might be a little difficult, but one might figure out the truth of the story before I even told. And then I set all the circumstances to �appear� as if�. I hope that you still think the same with this chapter. There will be only two left.

Devi - In the first place it was suppose to be one of those gifts that gets the giver probably the most excitement in the thought of giving it. There�s been times I�ve gone out of my way at getting a gift for someone I loved, and kept it a secret, and got in trouble for it. When I kept my mouth shut, still not wanting to ruin the surprise, sometimes making it worse, sometimes I�d pull it off. Having to tell about a gift that you�ve made exorbital, really takes the wind out of the sails so to speak.

Ryo tried to tell Dee that he hadn�t done what he was accusing of, but Dee kept cutting him off and wouldn�t listen. He even started to mention about keeping �it� a secret until �it� was finished, that �it� would have only been another week, and that he would have told him about �it� then. He was ready to really mention about it. But of course, though not Dee�s fault with everything combining together for him to think what he was, only had one mind set. Then Ryo got caught up in Dee�s questions, and again, throughout the story Dee just refused to talk or listen to him, cutting him off before many words could come out. He could have mentioned about it in the note he gave him, but that would have ruined the story.

Sometimes people think it�s easy to just spit things out, but I�ve been there through that when someone cuts and blocks what you�re trying to say, or throws retorts and questions at you in between what you�re trying to say until it seems like you, yourself are just blabbering words, and the easiest thing, like �it�s a damn portrait� just doesn�t come out.

Wow, almost a whole page. I don�t know if this really helped or not. Hope you still stay with me and finish out the story line, and hope that this last chapter wasn�t too disappointing for you. Thanks for reading and your reviews.

Hong Mee - I don�t think any chapter would be complete without a review from you, my faithful reviewer from the very first chapter! I�m so glad that you�ve enjoyed this story so well, and hope it remains up to your expectations. I thought it would be more dramatic, and traumatizing to Dee to find out by someone else rather than Ryo. I think it hit�s a person that much more to discover something from someone -- especially if it makes the other person actually innocent! Then they have to think about what to do to get back into the other persons graces and worry about the rejection themselves. From this chapter you can see a little about the apology going-ons, and if I told you yes or no that would ruin the very last chapter of finding whether this actually ends angst or climactic� sorry.

Isuki - Sorry for the wait. I had this wrote out to begin with, only I need to �flesh� it out (sorry not really that kind of flesh), and it wound up throwing in some stumpers. I hope that you still enjoyed this new chapter as well, though I was getting ticked about how it was progressing there at the end of the chapter.

JazzyGirl - Glad you�re happy. Hope you liked this last one. I felt it was a bit dry, but, hey, you got to lead up to some things right?

Julia - Umm� he�s still kind of kicking himself, but finding Ryo as he did, he�s put on his �rougher� (heh) side to �take care� of him. What I had written out before I put this story up on the site, read good to me, but trying to fill it out more for a completer chapter made me think it somewhat dry. Hope you didn�t get the same impression, though.

KD - Umm� no, he doesn�t have the hots for Dee. It�s actually Ryo that he desires, but being an artist and gay, he makes the comparison upon Dee�s looks� hence the Adonis mention. He mentions about painting things that attracts (interests) him. He mentions about Ryo being �pretty�, strong yet quiet�. Hope you continue to enjoy the story.

Kit_Yang - No, I don�t think you were too dense. I tried to keep it under cover about him as much as I could, but wondered if people would pick up from the 2nd chapter when Ryo said about keeping a secret until �it� was finished. Thanks for loving this so much. Oh, and� �boogery�?� I laughed so much at that word! Such a vivid flare of word! HA!

NeoBritt - Hope you enjoyed this last chapter. What does a person do when they find out they were the one wrong the whole time and know how much they hurt the other person? Dee�s winging it.

Nikki - No, not the end. There�s two more after this one, so don�t cry� yet. Hope you still think it�s heartbreaking at the beginning of this latest chapter where he�s thinking of the times that Ryo had mentioned his innocence� I did that just to point out all the times he tried and failed, whether they�re acceptable to people or not. The clues were there, letting the readers know he wasn�t well along the view of the story was saying he was. It was kind of easy, �cause Dee does get jealous, and believing what he thought was really happening� well he�d get hurt a lot and I can see someone behaving like he did because of it. He�s not really the bad guy, there were circumstances, and at least he didn�t just �assume things� and blame Ryo. He really thought he had facts enough.

Raining_like_tears - I�ll give you a paddle. Heh, but I�ve got to take the gun away from Kit_Yang! Glad you�ve like this story. Hope you�re still there for the ending.

silent angel - You�re welcome! Sorry this chapter isn�t quite the answer people are looking for yet� but there�s one coming.

Someone Out There - Thanks for your reviews. Hope you continue to read and enjoy the story, even though Dee�s there at the apartment, it�s till not certain what�s going to happen. But there�s always got to be a road to get to the answer.

Tirana - The reason mostly about Bikky was that the story was meant to be sparse, only giving bits of detail not going deeply into other characters. But some things got a bit more descriptive and wound up taking more time than even I expected. Bikky has a bit more bigger part in this latest chapter because,�well, they�re at the apartment and it�s his home. Yes, he has a vulgar mouth, but I went through the books a tried to find words that he would say or had said to Dee, and well, what he says in this chapter is a mesh of it along with his upset. I do hope that you liked that he actually took Dee�s side of things a bit� for now� leaving Ryo a little shocked.

XZanaya - Well, he doesn�t quite know yet still. Like I mentioned with someone else here, he�s winging it right now, jarring Ryo a bit out of his depression even if it means that he might still throw him out. Hope you liked this chapter. Look forward to your review.
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Portrait Without Sin