Darkness Within your Light

Warnings: LIME BABY!! Ahem light lime to be realistic, I don’t have the guts yet to do a full lime yet, (let alone even think about writing a lemon in the future T^T), some humor, fluffy to the extreme!!

This chapter can almost be catalogued as a filler type chapter; it just has the conversation and stuff in it, next chapter they will be back in headquarters and then that’s when the fun really beginnings.

Thank you all once again for reviewing my story! Here are my replays:

Elle,- Yes the last chapter was so cute, and L can get very scary when he want to o.0 very very scary. Aww the sweet kiss at the end...hehe L did become somewhat confindent didn't he? Oh well, that won't last Xp hehehe for now anyways. I'm so happy you loved my last chapter, I hope you enjoy this one as well, there's so much fluff you'd think that a teddy bear factory blew up or something XD

Aurora Moon,- Yes Sayu is my most fav female char in DN! SHE RULES!!XD hehe yes Ryuzaki will be teasing Raito about the whole Ryu-chan deal for a long long time =w=; heheh.

QD,- hehe I make sure that their is some type of humorous remark in my chapters, or at least something to that extent =D I'm so happy that I made your day with my last chapter...hope this one does too X3

Gryphonwills,- I'm so happy you liked my last chapter! I hope you enjoy this one as well. XD

Mustang89,- Yes finally some kissage!!! heheh more to come in this chapter =w= hehe I thought it would be funny and intresting if I made Sayu say that L was Ryu-chan, and it even kind of got it's own little plot-twist later, mostly it will be L teasing Raito now and again about him being Raito's Ryu-chan! hehehe I'm so happy that you think I'm awesome! XDDDDD

Linkala,- wow that makes me feel so special! Don't worry though this story still has a way to go before it's done so you don't have to lower your standerds yet. XP Yes the Yagami family got saved and the only one to be hurt was Raito! all is well =w= Yes L was badass and he will at times be like this again, he will kind of switch back and forth really. Cute sweet native L turns into badass scary protective L! it's so cool!! AWW I hope you get better soon! T-T I don't like it when my friends/reviewers/fellow yaoi fans are sick! it makes me sad ;; don't let your brain go! Get a bucket quick! =w=;

I forgot to say this in the last chapter but Raito’s fear of the eyes of a zombie…well it’s kind of my own phobia @.@

Also some people have addressed to me that Raito has been kind of weak lately. Well…if you went through all that crap I just put him through in the last couple of chapters and he really hasn’t had a brake yet from all of it to sit down and process what’s been going on, not to mention he’s hurt yet again and on an emotional rollercoaster, I’m surprised he hasn’t been given anti-depressants and sent to the therapist by now. O.0 don’t worry though he will be back to being snarky–Raito in the next chapter…he’s still a submissive though; he’ll just fight for the top sometimes…XD…and occasionally win. X.x

So it’s basically an L/Raito seme/uke pairing with a little surprise Raito/L every once in a while. XDDDDD

Now onward to smuttiness and confessions!!

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Raito couldn’t have been more confused, why was L kissing him?

Raito’s mind went merciful blank though when L swiped his tongue against his closed lips, practically begging for entrance into Raito’s mouth.

Raito could feel that Ryuzaki was trying to hold back, but the thing was…Raito didn’t want him to.

Raito’s earlier crying fit had all but vanished, all the self-loathing and misery he had been feeling before was gone, completely replaced with a burning primal lust.

Deciding to discard for now any doubts or confusions that he might have, Raito parted his lips slightly, allowing the insistent tongue entrance.

Raito dimly heard L give out a low moan that mixed with his own when their tongues finally meet. The kiss that had started out so soft and innocent soon became a searing mash of lips and tongue.

Ryuzaki swept his tongue all around Raito’s mouth, as if trying to memorize it with the touch of his tongue alone. Ryuzaki’s tongue lapped at the roof of Raito’s mouth, caressing it firmly and demanding.

Raito let out a mewing sound that was answered with a low growl.

Ryuzaki then moved on and started to sweep his teeth gently, lapping up each one individually, taking great care to memorize every single grove and dip of Raito’s mouth.

Raito lifted his arms and finally wrapped them around Ryuzaki’s head, holding Ryuzaki’s hair in a firm grasp. He swept his hands through the soft hair, the scent of strawberry’s once again filled Raito’s nose, causing him to purr in contentment.

He hummed in pleasure as Ryuzaki’s tongue started to tangle with his own. Raito instinctively tried to take command of the kiss then but Ryuzaki would have none of that.

Feeling Ryuzaki start to pull back Raito let out a whine of distress, he didn’t even realize he made it till he heard L give out a low growl of satisfaction right after.

Starting to feel himself come down from the pleasure high he was on, Raito was about to start demanding what exactly Ryuzaki thought he was doing, when he was once again cut-off.

Ryuzaki’s head bent down again but he didn’t start to kiss Raito again, no instead he started to place butterfly light kisses along Raito’s jaw, moving upwards till he reached Raito’s ear lobe, which he then started to gently suck. Nipping here and there gently with his teeth in order to incite the whimpers that Raito was let out whenever L hit a more responsive spot.

Raito let out a near silent moan of pleasure as Ryuzaki started to molest his ear heavily with his tongue. He then buried his face in Ryuzaki’s hair, taking in the sweet scent that was purely L.

“Lawlieeettt…”

Raito couldn’t stop himself from moaning out L’s real name when L’s tongue started to lap and lick his way down Raito’s sensitive neck.

L gave out a truly impressive growl that went straight to Raito’s lower regions when he heard Raito say his name.

Raito let out a noise that greatly resembled a squeal when Ryuzaki latched onto the side of his neck and sucked.

It must have been an extra sensitive spot because Raito could not stop himself from moaning loudly in total bliss as Ryuzaki licked and nipped at that same spot. No doubt with the intention of marking him.

Raito didn’t know if he had ever been this hard in his life. And that counted both of his lives. Sure he had sex before, well not in his current body, his teenage body right now was a virgin one, but in his pervious life about a year after L’s death in fact, he had been forced into having sex with Misa.

It had been one of the most horrifying, scarring experiences in his young life.

Misa had been bemoaning about not being able to show her full love to him now that their enemy was dead and gone, after denying her for the 2450th time she had finally attempted to commit suicide in the hope that it would finally break his resolve to never touch her. Sadly for Raito it had worked, he didn’t want to lose the valuable shinigami eyes that Misa had possessed, which he would have if she killed herself. Also…he might have felt a tiny almost microscopic feeling of guilt for the way he used her. The point being was he gave up his virginity to Misa, and regretted it to this day.

Raito’s mind went blank again when L gave one more vicious bite and lick to his neck and moved back up to devour Raito’s mouth once more.

Raito finally came to his senses a few minutes later, it seemed that L was getting a little to into what he was doing to Raito and had started to let his hands wander around Raito’s body. Only when Raito felt L’s hand suddenly cup his rather rigid erection and start to rub it feverously did Raito finally wake up from his pleasure haze and realize what was happening.

“Ryuzaki s-stop! Stop this right n-now L!! Hnn…please stop…LAWLIET GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF RIGHT NOW AND STOP!!”

After trying to get L’s attention and failing, Ryuzaki had even started to rub harder at Raito’s groin when he heard Raito telling him to stop. Only when Raito screamed out his real name did L finally hear through his lustful abandon, what Raito was actually saying.

L suddenly lifted his head as far back away from Raito as possible. He also moved his hands up in an almost surrendering position, as if they to needed to be as far away from the delectable treat in front of him as possible, in the case that they just might continue to molest Raito without L’s permission.

A few minutes passed by as Raito tried to slow his breathing, which had picked up after that heavy make-out session. He still hadn’t moved his head from L’s lap, he didn’t really want to bother with moving at all, considering he still hurt like hell and L’s lap was very comfortable…well it was before L’s evident enjoyment of what they had just been engaged in started to poke him in the head.

Raito gave a sigh of exasperation and amusement before slowly lifting himself till he was sitting beside L instead of on him.

Seeing the confused and guilt ridden face of L peering at him Raito explained.

“You don’t have to worry Ryuzaki; I’m not getting up because I’m mad or anything like that. It’s just…well your hard-on was poking my head and it was starting to get annoying with my headache and all. Also we need to have a serious talk right now and if I get to close to you again we just might end up screwing each other in the back seat of this car with Watari not 2 feet away from us.”

Raito was fascinated by Ryuzaki’s face which had turned an impressive shade of red when Raito mentioned L’s rather evident problem and by the time that Raito had finally finished talking it seemed that L’s entire body had turned inflame, if the redness if his neck was anything to go by.

“I apologize Raito-kun, I don’t know what got into me…I guess it must have been an adrenaline rush from all that happened just now. Also when you got hurt by that man I…I was mad, no I was livid that he had dared to touch you…to hurt you like that and I couldn’t help but want to make sure you were ok, I guess I got carried away…I’m sorry…”

Raito had sat up some and while it had pulled at his stomach wound some causing it to slightly reopen he had managed not to flinch. When he heard that L tried to pass off his rather passionate kisses as an adrenaline rush he felt both a sense of annoyance and fondness, it seemed that L was not quite ready to admit that he might just be attracted to his number one suspect yet.

‘Oh well, I guess it ok. I won’t push him or anything like that. He must be feeling really confused right now. Not only does he believe that I get visions now, that somehow come true, but he has also been through almost just as much as me in the last few hours. He must be very tired right now, insomniac or no insomniac he still needs some sleep. I bet he hasn’t slept in over a week by now. Truthfully he might not quite believe my modified story entirely but he will accept it for now, at least until we are both ready for the truth. Which reminds me…’

“Hey Ryuzaki now that I’ve answered your question why don’t you answer one of mine. To make it fair we can switch back and forth so that we won’t be fighting for answers.”

Ryuzaki had pulled his legs up and was currently sitting in his usual crouch with his knees up and his ever present thumb was already being nibble at. He crooked his head to the side in an all too sweet manner as he pondered Raito’s idea.

“What if one of us asks a question that the other doesn’t want to answer?”

Raito pondered this for a moment before answering.

“Well…I guess we can say pass and then be asked another question. It will stop us from trying to kill each other for answers at least.”

Ryuzaki nodded his consent of this, but Raito could see the wary grimace on his face as he most likely wondered just what Raito’s question was.

“Ok my first question is where did you get the gun? I’m pretty sure you didn’t have it in that damn white room because I’m sure you would have shot me at one point or another, at least non-fatal enough to get us both out of that hell hole.”

Ryuzaki looked surprised at this question. It made Raito wonder what he was expecting Raito to ask. Maybe about what happened a few minutes ago? As much as Raito wanted to ask about what had really gotten into L he knew that L was just not ready enough to deal with that issue. Soon though they would have to talk about it, weather L wanted to or not.

“Well Raito-kun, do you remember when we were running through headquarters towards the exist and I detoured into a room and then left quickly again without letting you see inside? Well that was a small armory that held some equipment that was all ready to go. I grabbed a gun off a table and left again just as quickly. It was already loaded.”

Raito nodded his head absentmindly as he remembered this.

“I remember now…I got mad at you when you stopped and closed the door to prevent me from following you. I was just about to open it up to yell at you when you came tearing out again. I forgot all about it when we got into the car; my family was the only thing I could think about at the time.”

“You really love your family don’t you Raito-kun? It funny really…the report I had gathered about you profiled that you were somewhat indifferent to your family, almost apathetic really.”

Raito felt his hair stand up on end when Ryuzaki spoke about how he had perceived Raito’s feelings in regard to his family. He also felt anger but was quick in not letting it show. Because in a way Ryuzaki was only stating the facts and truths, Raito had been apathetic to his family, hell he had once told Ryuk that he would kill them himself if they interfered with his plans as Kira. The Kira-no Yagami Raito that he had been before had been a true sociopath.

But that had been before. Before he went through the pain and torment that was associated with being Kira. Before killing the only person he had ever gave a damn about, even if he didn’t know about it at the time. Before he had to become truly two-faced, becoming both Kira and the fake L. Before fighting and scheming against L’s successors. Before being caught and killed. Before going to Mu. Before meeting the Shinigami King and the Little Mother and learning that he was the solo cause of the end of the world. Before going back into time. Before everything.

He had changed, and he knew that L was becoming aware of these changes and was confused by them.

Raito just shook his head and told Ryuzaki in a voice he hoped was calm and indifferent.

“Well whatever you thought I was you were wrong. Because I’m not Kira, I’m not a killer, I care for my family and I will give up everything for them in order to make them happy. So I’m sorry but whatever information you had on me was false up until this point. What you see right now L is who I really am.”

Ryuzaki just looked at him closely. As if determining if what Raito said was true or not. After a moment or two of silence of which Raito just stared right on back did Ryuzaki slowly nod his head. He still had a puzzled look on his face, as if he wasn’t quite convinced yet but he did drop it for now.

“I hope that that answers your question Raito-kun because I have another one for you. What is this whole fiasco about me being called Ryu-chan? Does it have something to do with that bear of yours?”

It had been a question that Raito had been dreading. It wasn’t that it was a terrible secret or anything, but the truth was it was kind of embarrassing.

“I guess you wouldn’t accept a pass would you?”

Ryuzaki just shook his head no and stared at Raito hard.

Raito gave a sigh and explained. It was only fair really; L had told him something about his childhood, now it was Raito’s turn.

“Well you see it’s like this, Ryu is this stuffed panda bear right here. My sister calls him Ryu-chan because she thinks its cuter or something like that. Anyway I got this bear when I was born; mother and father had given it to me. You could say that it was truly my first ever friend, if you can call a stuffed bear a friend. When Sayu was brought home from the hospital I…I made a promise to myself that I would protect her and make her happy. When she had first started to cry the only thing that I thought of that would make her happy would be Ryu, he always made me happy so I…I gave him away. Anyway after that my sister and Ryu became almost inseparable, I once asked her when I got older why she always dragged that bear around with her, and do you know what she told me? She said she loved Ryu so much because I had given it to her. Because it had once been so precious to me it was now precious to her.”

Raito gave a shaky sigh as he recalled all this. He had lowered his head before he started to speak so he couldn’t really see what kind of expression that L had.

“Anyway we both kind of out grew him somewhat. Truthfully I had thought my mother had thrown him out years ago. I should have known that Sayu would never have aloud that. She must have had him in her closet or something. Anyway as to why she called you Ryu-chan…well you have to admit L, you kind of resemble a human panda.”

Ryuzaki gave an unimpressed snort at being called a panda. Raito still hadn’t looked up but he couldn’t stop the slight smile as he heard it.

“You heard my sister though; it seemed she had been wishing that our old bear would come to life and protect me. Which in a way annoys me, do I look like I need protection or something?”

Raito could hear Ryuzaki draw in breath to answer, he quickly cut him off.

“Don’t answer that L, it was a rhetorical question. I pretty sure she was just kind of messing around; though I think when she first saw you she really did believe that you were Ryu. She knows that when I was a child that I only really trusted Ryu and I cared for him like nothing else. It’s kind of silly I know but…I didn’t have much in the way of friends when I was a child. I was too different you can say, I was smarter then all of the children my age and uninterested in their petty small problems or games. I believe that Sayu believed the only one I would trust now would be my old bear, because I had once trusted him wholeheartedly with all of my problems, now it seems that she has appointed you as my guardian now. Which reminds me…did you really have to play along with her earlier? I mean really now, that was not funny what you said about Sayu being your future sister-in-law, you do know my parents were still in the room right? My dad is already fishy about your motives about me, how do you think he’s going to react to what you said? I imagine that both Watari and I are going to have to strip you in a bullet proof vest for the rest of the Kira investigation, maybe also a bullet proof helmet too.”

Raito could practically hear Ryuzaki whiten as he thought about what Yagami-san would do to him if he thought that L was doing something to his son. Raito couldn’t help but smirk in sadistic pleasure as Ryuzaki started to whimper in fear.

“Don’t worry Ryuzaki I won’t let him hurt you…much.”

Raito couldn’t help the snicker that came out as he said that last bit.

“Raito-kun hasn’t changed at all, he’s still is a sadistic bastard that would let his father hurt his Ryu-chan who only want to protect him and follow his future sister-in-law’s pleas of keeping her helpless brother from being molested.”

Raito’s snicker died as Ryuzaki countered attacked.

“Haha L real funny, the only one I have to be worried about that would even think of molesting me would be you. And you are not Ryu so stop playing around. Anyway it’s my turn now to ask a question. This has been nagging at me and I need to ask…why didn’t you help me earlier? I mean I was being attacked and I was about to be killed. Why did it take you forever to help out?”

Raito looked up finally to look at Ryuzaki. He wanted to see Ryuzaki’s face when he explained to him why he didn’t help till the last minute.

Ryuzaki’s face had hardened in a mask of sadness, guilt and anger.

“If you remember Raito-kun the room was quite dark, the lights had been out and when the intruder had opened the door he hadn’t really let any light into the room at all. Because you were closer to him you were able to see him better but I couldn’t see anything at all. I heard you all of a sudden, attacking with the baseball bat…I heard the intruder call out and I got out from my hiding spot. I was planning on shooting a non-fatal shot but…I couldn’t see anything. I tried aiming for the general direction that I knew he was in, but I remembered that you also would be close by to him and I couldn’t risk hurting you. When I heard him go down though and you start to shout out to me about calling the police I felt happy that I wouldn’t have to shoot anyone…and then you screamed out in pain and I heard you fall. I rushed over towards where I heard everything. I pointed my gun and tried to figure out who was who. You both were so tangled up and I admit I was kind of panicking, also I was enraged. How could I let you get hurt like that? I was helpless and I didn’t like it one bit. And that’s when it happened, you shouted out for help and I was able to tell just where you where on the ground, so I pointed my gun a few inches higher and shot. I remember reaching out to the wall to steady myself and touching the light switch. Could you believe that it was only a few inches away from me the entire time? Added to the fact that you were hurt and that I was having a bad day to begin with I imagine that my expression might have been a bit on the scary side. I could tell because when you called out for help the second time you couldn’t keep the apprehension from your voice. I haven’t had to use a gun in a while so I was somewhat out of practice; it was only luck that I got in a heart shot.”

‘Yea luck right, just keep thinking that Ryuzaki and you’ll be able to sleep better at night. Well sleep as much as you do anyway.’

Raito looked at L in the face and saw that he was telling the truth.

“Ok thank you for tell me, I was wondering why it took you so long and this explains it.”

Ryuzaki just nodded back and let out a small sigh, when he saw that Raito was looking at him in slight confusion he just gave a weary smile.

“A lot has happened in the last day Raito-kun and I can’t shake the feeling that it will only get worse from here on…I confess that I’m perplexed about what is going on between us and as to those sudden visions of yours…well let’s just say that I can’t really believe in that 100 percent. Even if it’s true, why now? How did you acquire them and what kind of significance does it hold for us? There are so many questions Raito-kun but answers on the other hand I’ve learned are in a much lesser degree. I believe we should hold off this talk for now and get you some medical help. You hide it well but you couldn’t fool me, your wound on your stomach has reopened again hasn’t it? Let us return now to headquarters and get you patched up, then we will both eat something and then get a few more hours of sleep. We will have to hold on this for a few days…the Kira case is still ongoing if you remember Raito-kun and you are still a suspect.”

Raito remembered, how could he forget? He himself gave a small sigh also and tried to shift into a more comfortable position as his wounds were starting to hurt once more now that he wasn’t concentrating on something else. He was surprised when a pale hand reached out and maneuvered him gently but firmly so that his head was resting on Ryuzaki’s shoulder.

He didn’t question it and L didn’t say anything else. Raito clenched the bear Ryu to his chest once more, it had fallen into his lap when he had sat up before, and let his eyes close. Ryuzaki was warm and very comfortable. He felt L reach out and tap on the glass in a weird pattern, no doubt signaling a code to Watari that they could go back to headquarters now.

Now that he wasn’t talking Raito’s mind wandered back to what happened earlier. A slight flush overtook his features but luckily for him L wasn’t looking at him at the moment. In fact L’s head had tilted some till his cheek was resting on top of Raito’s head.

‘What happened earlier…I kind of wish I didn’t stop it. But no, we needed to talk and I know that Lawliet is not ready yet for our messed up relationship to go that far…no matter that he was the one who started it. Hell I don’t even now if I’m ready for that yet. But I have to admit it felt good, no better then good it felt right, like everything had become just prefect, like it was meant to be or something like that. But not yet, nether of us is ready and I still have to prove that I’m not Kira; the killings have started again so a new Kira has already been born…and it will be the last one I will make sure of it. Lawliet might be in lust with me right now, but he will never have any other feelings for me if he still suspects me of being a mass-murderer. Only after I clear myself will I truly be able to win over L. I can start small now, but later…later I can tell L the truth. The whole truth, so that he will accept me for whom I really am and become immortal like me. He has to…I can’t bear to think of if he didn’t. I-I think I would really die…No, no more thinking like that right now. I need to focus on the Kira case right now, now that Ryuk has been taken care of all I really need to worry about is Rem…shit I forgot about her, fuck. Ah screw this I’ll think about it tomorrow, I’ll make my strategies and plans then, I’m to tired and hurt to do anything else. Besides L’s shoulder really is comfortable and I don’t know how much longer we got till we get to headquarters, might as well enjoy it.'

With that last thought Raito stealthy snuggled closer to Ryuzaki. Hearing a slight intake of breath from him Raito guessed he wasn’t stealthy enough, oh well it really didn’t matter because after a second he felt Ryuzaki snuggle right back.

Raito let out a truly happy smile that unfortunate for Ryuzaki was hidden under his tucked head.

But Raito was sure that L could sense it. L Lawliet always could tell just what Yagami Raito was truly feeling even under all his masks.

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Ok I know it was short and wayyy more fluffy then usual but they need this fluff to hold onto, they have to get through the next few chapters of hell I’m going to put them through! kiracoughcasecoughtimecough

AHH how was the lime? It’s my first time EVER writing something like that and I need feedback! Good? Bad? Sucks so much I should never try again? TELL ME!!! If I get some good feedback on it maybe I’ll try for something heavier later in the story…but if not…well I’ll see. 0.o

Remember this was kind of a filler chapter, it’s not meant to be long, so sorry if you all were expecting another long chapter, maybe next time.

Also I’m sorry that I took so long in this chapter, but real life’s a bitch and I’m her sub =w=; wow…where the hell do I come up with this shit? Anyway hope you enjoyed this and please remember to leave comments.

That means…REVIEW PEOPLE! REVIEW LIKE YOUR YAOI OBSESSED LIVES DEPEND ON IT!!!