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Relax and Hang On -- Again	By : cupnjava Category: Gensomaden Saiyuki > General Views: 20723 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
Summary: Gojyo goes to The Underground and seeks what he finds. Heavy topics in here -- child abuse and child molestation.

Author’s note: Sorry guys, I’m missing my betas right now. I checked it as well as I could.

Relax and Hang On XII : The Underground
Previously:

The lights on the lighthouses had burned out --- it would take time to get the lanterns relit.
Gojyo pulled himself from the bed and staggered to his feet. His head spun as the cool hard floor pushed against the warmth of his feet. He teetered and stretched a hand out.
Hakkai felt Gojyo lift from him and sat up. He raised a hand in the air and felt for his lover.

[Somewhere a butterfly flapped its wings.]
Gojyo’s hand connected --- with the wood of a chair.
Hakkai’s hand swished freely through the air.
They missed. They missed each other on a multitude of levels.
Someone somewhere needed to shoot a butterfly.
Weak with hunger, dehydration, lingering effects of injuries and mental confusion Gojyo leaned on that chair. He spoke through clenched teeth as he cradled his cast against his chest, “Don’t we have a mission?”
He could just turn back time. He could just pretend none of this happened. He could just push this back in his mind and let it rot. He didn’t need this shit. He needed to rescue the one that was, save the one that is and protect the one that will be.

* * *

Hakkai softly spoke. “Yes, we do, but it can wait a few hours.” He conjured a small ball of chi -- one lighthouse was lit. The eerie hue of chi washed across the room.
Gojyo’s head turned as the lighthouse made its sweep of the harbor. Crimson salvage wanted to dive into the ocean and corrode away like numerous other wreckages; and yet, it desperately wanted to be tugged to safety.
Hakkai saw Gojyo’s shadowy form surrounded by a soft sea of green light. He slowly stood.
Gojyo’s head was pounding; his stomach twisted in sharp knots; his mouth felt like he’s been eating salt-licks; and, his eyelids felt lined with sandpaper. His skin felt dirty, oily and itchy. “I need a shower,” softly left him.
Hakkai stood next to Gojyo tying to get a glimpse of those crimson eyes. Trying to see if there was any sign of recognition -- seeking to see if a realization of reality resided behind those blood-red curtained windows of the soul.
Gojyo turned his head and glared at the floor diagonally behind him. Crimson locks walled off Emerald, but the salvage did not move.
Hakkai wanted desperately to wrap his arms around the man that was and one day will be again his lover. He dared not. He couldn’t risk provoking whatever memory it was that forced his lover to lash out earlier.
Hakkai lightly touched the back of Gojyo’s right-hand fingers.
Gojyo lifted his fingers from the wooden chair and draped them around Hakkai’s digits. He wanted more of that touch. That warm, soft, caring, healing touch. That touch he nearly destroyed.
“You need to eat before you shower. You haven’t eaten since…” Hakkai let his voice trail off -- there was no point in saying what was obvious.
Gojyo blinked. So, that explains it. He nodded and pulled his hand away as he stumbled toward the table. He stopped. He realized he was naked, “Where’s my pack, Hak---, “ he couldn’t get himself to say his friend’s name.
Hakkai shifted his hand and looked around. He couldn’t remember even seeing his pack recently. The fury and worry of the past few days blurred his memory. All he knew and all he cared to know was that Gojyo was strong enough to walk. That was a start. Everything else would eventually be recovered.
Green light swept the room, splaying itself upon the walls and over furniture --- green light and darkness filled the room in waves. The light suddenly stopped, “Our packs are up against the wall to the left of the dresser.” He shifted the light and began walking.
Gojyo heard Hakkai shift in the deeper shadows and waved his friend off. He put Hakkai through enough; he could at least get his own underwear.
His shadow blocked the green light and cast a swathe of darkness upon the packs as he approached the invaluable pieces of memory keepers. He slowly bent over and his head throbbed and spun. He pressed a palm into the wall.
Hakkai took the first step in approaching Gojyo.
Gojyo braced himself with his plaster covered forearm and pulled his palm from the wall. Tan fingers worked between folds of khaki canvas and abruptly stopped.
Gojyo dropped to his knees.
Hakkai dashed to his lover.
Gojyo curled his shoulders over and squeezed his eyes shut. That was Hakkai’s pack. He’d found the red leather bag. He didn’t need to pull it out to be sure -- he knew it. He knew it by touch alone. That leather -- of the red leather bag --- just felt different from each and every other piece of leather in the world. If Gojyo had been hydrated enough, he would have cried.
Instead his eyes burned for want of moisture. His chest crushed for want of embrace. His stomach twisted for want of food. His mind whirled for want of understanding and his soul cried for want of nourishment.
It wasn’t the carnal activities that evoked these strong emotions from Gojyo. He wasn’t that shallow. It was the entirety of what the unassuming leather bag meant.
That bag had become theirs. That bag symbolized Hakkai. The leather and zipper of that bag hid a treasure trove of specialness from the world.
Just like the smile Hakkai often wore.
However -- with this bag -- Gojyo had been deemed to be special enough to peer inside. He’d been honored enough to see the honesty under the smiling emerald shell.
At least until that conversation a few days ago and his actions less that two hours ago.
Hakkai had left him and yet there the green-eyed man remained. Gojyo expected this -- Hakkai wouldn’t leave the group. No, the good of the many out weighted the good of the one. He wouldn’t leave the mission or the group -- no -- those were too important for Hakkai to leave.
Hakkai knelt. He wrapped his arms around Gojyo and damn the consequences. If Gojyo lashed out, he’d just take it. He held his lover close. He whispered, “It’s all over now. It’s all done.” Hakkai knew Gojyo needed some form of reassurance that the torture was finished and that he was now in a zone of safety.
Gojyo didn’t get any of that from Hakkai’s words -- all he got was the knife in his heart and the hammer to his gut. “Don’t you think I know that?” Gojyo couldn’t take this. He couldn’t handle Hakkai in his life and yet not in his life. He couldn’t live with some hybrid form of what once was. He needed a clean break to either return to what they had a few weeks ago or to go back to the way things were when west was new. Before that night of EverClear, Pocket Watches and “for a little while.”
He needed to know where Hakkai stood and yet he needed to save some face. Who knew how long this little road trip from hell was going to last? Things needed to be smooth between the four of them. “Friends?”
Hakkai was taken back by the question. Gojyo had just recovered from being nearly nurtured to death and needed reassurance about friendships? This was insane! Oh, wait a minute, that’s right. Gojyo was abused as a child -- if something bad happened it automatically had to be his fault. Hakkai rubbed his hand on Gojyo’s back, “Of course we’re still friends. Our friendship is the most important thing to me in my life now.” He paused to let that sink in. “You know this isn’t your fault, right? You did nothing to deserve this.”
Gojyo pulled his hand away from the red leather bag. Not a word about lovers. He reached for his pack. I did nothing to deserve this, huh? Then, why does it hurt so much. “If I did nothing to deserve this, then why is it happening?”
Hakkai sat down on the floor. He drew one leg up and rested his elbow on his raised knee. He too was still rather weak from the tremendous efforts exerted before. He had to get Gojyo out of wherever it is that he thought he was. “Happened , Gojyo happened. It’s over. We can go on from here.” Hakkai sighed, And let the healing begin.
It disturbed him that all this time, Gojyo had yet to make eye contact. Gojyo wasn’t even looking at him.
Gojyo stepped into his boxers. Happened. So, it is signed, sealing and fucking delivered. And I have no god damn say in it. Ah, hell, you can’t make somebody love you -- not even Mom. Friends it is, then pal.

Gojyo turned toward the table. He found his way to a chair.
The green light faded and a reddish-yellow flame sparked and flourished under Hakkai’s face. He stepped toward the table and knitted his brow.
Gojyo had a hand pushed to his forehead, the shades were drawn on the windows to his soul and crimson strands fanned the outside of those windows like solid shutters. Beside the locked up house of Gojyo, sat a wrapped box and the soup tureen. Hakkai sat the candle on the table and unwrapped the box.
Eight fresh kappa rolls stood on end smiling at him. He nearly cried. He lifted the top to the soup tureen. Steam billowed out. His breath caught in his chest. He glanced at the floor and the spoiled Kappa rolls were still there. He held his breath as Gojyo reached for a Kappa roll.
Gojyo took in the fresh new kappa roll.
A tear rolled down Hakkai’s cheek. He slowly exhaled.
They never did figure out how the kappa rolls got there nor how the soup got hot. The one person that did know, kept her mouth shut.
Gojyo looked at the kappa rolls. He knew they were brought special for him. That’s how these guys were. Hakkai was obviously making an honest effort at this and he would too.
Hakkai began to dish out two bowls of soup.
Gojyo softly spoke, “Do you want to share the kappa rolls?”
The porcelain ladle clanked into the soup. Hakkai’s hand shook and a wavering voice emerged from him, “Yes, I would very much like to share …” He pressed his lips together and swallowed the lump in his throat away, “… some…” His brow knitted. He blinked water back into his eyes, “kappa rolls -- with you.” He squeezed his eyes shut as a tear ran down each cheek. He pushed a hand to his face and took a deep breath. Gojyo needed to see strength from him right now. Gojyo didn’t need to worry with or fret over him. He needed to be there for his lover.
They ate in silence.
Words seemed pointless --- but alas they were not. The favorite pair was not together. They were sitting at the same table, but they were not even in the same room.
An emerald harbor was searching with its lantern lit -- sending out tug boats. Crimson salvage did not know the distress call had been heard. He’d made plans to limp home of his own volition.
Gojyo sat his spoon down, “Thanks.”
Hakkai sat his spoon down, “No problem.”
Through it all -- Hakkai didn’t mask with one smile.
Through it all -- Gojyo didn’t deflect with one joke.
Through it all -- Hakkai’s worry deepened.
Through it all -- Gojyo avoided all eye contact.

Gojyo slowly stood. “Are there showers here or am I going to have to deal with a well?”
“There are showers.”
“Where?”
“I’ll take you.” He was not about to let Gojyo from his sight.
“Where? I don’t need help bathing.”
“I’ll take you -- with what you have been through it’s not wise.” Don’t be stubborn. Hakkai blinked. Hadn’t a blonde said something similar to him not too long ago? “There’s a plastic bag on the nightstand, put that on over your cast.”
Gojyo put his arm in the bag and, using his teeth and his free hand, tightened it with a knot where cast met flesh. “I can do it myself.”
Hakkai gave Gojyo directions to the shower room. “You know I’m going to follow you.”
Gojyo pulled fresh clothing from his pack. He noticed a pair of clean, folded, black jeans on the floor next to his pack. “Please don’t.” He grabbed the black jeans. “Where’d we get these?”
“You had them when…” Hakkai’s voice trailed off. He noticed his repaired shirt on the floor next to the jeans. “You know I’m going to follow you.”
They never did figure that out. Sanzo figured it was pointless to tell them when he’d slipped in during their brief rest and returned their cleaned and repaired items. Such minute details were meaningless in the big picture, weren’t they?
Gojyo stood by the door. “I don’t need you doting all over me. Please don’t. “ He stepped out of the door and not three steps later did the room door open and close. He sighed. Why do you have to be so stubborn?

Gojyo and Hakkai walked down the darkened hallway. Hakkai carried the candle. He’d never understand the tech levels of the places they’d visited. It seemed so sporadic. Indoor plumbing, but no electricity. Electricity, but no plumbing. Sometimes some parts of the town had electricity and other parts didn’t. Some parts of a particular inn would have electricity and other parts wouldn’t. Yes, any random, meaningless, pointless thought to keep his mind off the current situation.
They entered the shower room and Hakkai noticed a light switch on the wall.
Gojyo scanned the room in the meager candle light. He sat his articles down on a bench.
Hakkai spoke, “Ready for the lights?”
“Not yet.” In a rare act of bashfulness, Gojyo stepped into the shower with his boxers on. He’d fully undress in privacy. He tossed his boxers from around the shower curtain and his fingers curled around the knob.
It wasn’t bashfulness -- Gojyo was never bashful. He was trying to avoid looking at Hakkai. He just knew his heart would shatter.
Hakkai flipped on the lights. His eyes quickly closed and he winced as they slowly opened.
Gojyo’s eyes slammed closed. He turned on the water and winced as his eyes adjusted to the light.
Crimson grew wide as his hand came into view. He saw the thin red lines under his nails and phantom pain rushed him. He blinked. The crack of something echoed in his mind. He saw the abrasions around his wrist and felt restrained. As his bruises came into his view he was assaulted with half-memories and ghostly aches. He fell against the wall. He pushed off the wall and fell into the curtain. He ripped the curtain from the rod and it draped Hakkai. Every bruise rushed him with a new innuendo. As he moved more evidence of something badgered him. His head whipped from side to side. His arms flailed. Streaks on his legs whispered to him. His feet stumbled over each other. A whipping sound registered silently in his head. The smell of rubbing alcohol drifted into his sinuses.
His world was spinning. A flashing jumble of abstract barely there, real but fantasy experiences and this concrete world. A lump moved in front of him. He shoved it away.
Hakkai reeled ass over tin cups.
Gojyo dropped to his knees. The water ran over his back. A knitted brow lifted and search for answers. Water trailed down his arm and it flowed crimson. Water splattered against the plastic around his cast and it splattered sweat. Surely, he was imaging the fish drawn on it as well as the words “cucumber noises”. He dropped his head.
Hakkai untangled himself from the curtain. He ran to Gojyo.
The cast covered hand flew up, “Stay the fuck away!” The water ran down his body; it felt warm and cool --- just like blood. It was clear, right? Water was clear, right? That hadn’t really changed, had it? He wasn’t stuck in some nightmare … was he? He wasn’t showering in stinging darts of blood, was he? He pressed his hand to his face.
Hakkai stood still. He was at a loss. His brow knitted as his mental wheels kicked into high gear.
Stuck between ever shifting concrete and abstract realities -- Gojyo cried out. Crimson eyes lifted.
Emerald eyes sought out crimson --- crimson was open but empty.

*FLASH*

Kenren looked at Gojyo, “Damn it! This is what I was trying to avoid!”
Gojyo blinked at the short haired man. “What the fuck?!”

“Gojyo, you’ve got to remember.”

*FLASH*

Gojyo was in the shower; water swirled around him. He tuned his head and water sprayed in his face. He opened his mouth to scream and choked. He turned his head and there was water all around him. The taste hinted at -- seltzer water? That made no sense.

*FLASH*

Kenren bellowed, “Damn it, Gojyo!”
Gojyo turned from the man in black leather. “Fuck! What the hell?”
Kenren decked Gojyo.
Crimson eyes narrowed. “That’s it! I’m beating your ass!”

*FLASH*

Suddenly, Gojyo was back in the shower. His palm pressed against the drain and teal tile. His left hand ached. His stomach seized. He barely managed to keep his food down.
Hakkai moved to help Gojyo.
“Stay the FUCK away!” He didn’t know what the hell was coming at him, but when it approached again he was going to make sure it knew he meant business. Third times a fucking charm!
Hakkai backed off. If he could just get in there to turn the off water -- something ANYTHING to help.
Gojyo rested back on his heels and specter pain seared through him. One crimson eye went wide the other narrowed. He screamed.
Hakkai moved.
It was charging him. Gojyo’s right hand whipped up, “I said -- stay…” his fingers wrapped around Hakkai’s neck. “…THE FUCK …” his hand tightened, “…away!” He stood and shoved. Something was gonna die!

*FLASH*

Kenren grabbed Gojyo’s shoulders, “That’s Hakkai! He didn’t do anything wrong. Didn’t do anything wrong!” Kenren choose those words very carefully. This was a card he hoped he wouldn’t have to play, but that green-eyed man was in mortal danger.
Neither noticed that this time, Gojyo didn’t negatively react to the sound of Hakkai’s name. Perhaps, that’s because another memory slammed him before his brain could process it. Perhaps, it was something else. No one noticed -- so no one knew.

*FLASH*

Gojyo froze. Suddenly, he was eight. His hair was snatched up over his head. A feminine fist pounded onto his skull. A shriek filled his ears. Sobs surrounded him. “Momma, stop it! Momma, I didn’t do anything wrong! Momma, you’re hurting me,” echoed in his mind. He felt the vertebrate in his neck clack together. His cheek ached. The sobs --- the crying -- the tears.
Gojyo curled up in a ball under electric lights. The hell with it. This life wasn’t worth fighting for. It could have him -- if it would stop the tears.
In his memories, soft fingers lifted his chin. Soft brown eyes filled his vision. A bright smile followed. “It’s ok -- we can replace it.”
Eleven year old Gojyo looked up, “I didn’t mean to drop it. I promise. I didn’t mean to.” Large crimson eyes began to well up.
Brown eyes blinked. “It’s alright.” She knelt. “It’s just a cup. We have plenty.” A hand raised.
He winced but didn’t back away. He was a big boy now -- he could take it. He could take it without tears.
A soft hand brushed his cheek and arms wrapped around his shoulders.
A hug? Where was the hit? A hug. Where was the strike?
A hug.
A hug!

A HUG!

Small hands curled around feminine shoulders and grasped at a cloth. A small scarred face tilted down to a shoulder. Tears ran from crimson eyes as a growing body shook.

Home

He needed home.
He need home now probably more than he needed it then. He was a tough kid -- he could have survived the streets. The streets wouldn’t have claimed him. No way. Not Sha Gojyo. He didn’t feel so tough now.

Alas

*FLASH*

Home was out of the question. He had a mission. He had to rescue the one that was, save the one that is and protect the one that will be.
Hakkai felt Gojyo shaking under his embrace. He felt his lover’s tears soak through his pajama top. He could think of nothing to do, but hold Gojyo tighter.
The emerald harbor felt bereft as the crimson salvage drifted back out to sea. Hakkai almost had him. He had his arms around his lover and yet -- his lover backed away from him, “Gojyo?”
Praise be to the butterflies for not letting him have a dagger on his hip this time.
Gojyo crawled cross the cold floor and tan fingers stretched for a towel. Gojyo yanked the knot in the plastic loose and pressed the towel to his face. “Please, just leave me.” Quit toying with me like this.

“Never.”
Gojyo wiped the towel over his face. That was just cruel. When did Hakkai get so cruel? So cold?

The next two weeks were hell.

Pure hell.

Gojyo had requested his own room. Sanzo didn’t argue. Goku was confused. Hakkai felt heartsick, but tried to understand.
Hakkai couldn’t sleep without him the bed just felt too incredibly lonely.
Gojyo spent the nights thrashing in nightmares.
Hakkai spent the nights sleeping in the hall with his back leaned up against the door to Gojyo’s room.
No doubt at some point during the nights -- there were times of sleep, but neither one remembered them.
Gojyo needed some space. He needed to sort out all this shit going on in his head. He needed some time.
Hakkai needed to be there for his -- friend. Hakkai wanted to help. Hearing Gojyo thrash at night and being held away by wooden barriers was like an acid on his soul. It ate away at him.
Some of Gojyo’s bruises had faded, but most remained. Taunting him -- teasing him --- purple reminders that knew more than he did.
The deepest -- the most painful was of course the one inside his chest. He needed…. NEEDED time and space to think. He couldn’t get a fucking moment to himself -- except when he locked himself in his room at night. Even then, he knew. He knew Hakkai was out there. Why… oh gods why? Couldn’t he just back away for a bit? Just a little time! Just a little space! He needed “clean break” time. He needed “think” time. He just simply needed to do this on his own.
Sometimes a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do and right now this man needed to know he could rely on his damn self.
There was a place he could go to get the space he needed. A place where people didn’t ask, “What’s wrong?” or “Whatcha thinking’ ?”
They didn’t get on edge when someone got quiet and that distant stare settled in windows to shattered souls.
They didn’t ask because they were all there. Every so often each and everyone of them would get that 1,000 yard stare.
Everyone knew what was wrong -- there was no point in asking moot questions.
No, everyone had their own personal hell and everyone had to get out of it in their own way.
No one was there trying to force words from closed mouths. “You need to talk about it.” What the hell? What magic did words hold that would *poof* make everything all better after some impuissant after-the-fact sentences.
What a crock.
What bullshit.
What a lie.
Talk! He didn’t need to talk. He needed to think and he needed a safe place to think.
He needed Her.
He needed her understanding eyes. Her soft arms. Her safe embrace. He needed her silence and her comforting voice.
What he needed was his emerald harbor -- but he wasn’t trying to hear that now. He wasn’t in a good enough place for a tug boat to even think about helping. He didn’t realize how stubborn tug boat captains were. He also didn’t know how rough of waters they could navigate.
Gojyo had his mind made up.
Somehow, someway he was going home.
Damn it! Why did he have to be so stubborn!
The voice inside Gojyo’s head was just pissing him off. Talking about this need to remember. Remember! Fuck that! He was trying to forget. He was trying to remember life before Hakkai as a lover. He knew why those emerald eyes made his stomach twist. It was because the one person he never expected to leave --- left. And then! As if to add insult to injury -- he stayed. Hakkai lingered.
Even traveling in the jeep didn’t afford him the time he needed. No sooner would he get a good train of thought going -- no sooner would he begin to work some of this out --- no sooner would he make a little progress would those fucking demon assassins show up! Gods! Gojyo couldn’t get a break.
The further Gojyo backed away the harder Hakkai tried to pull. Thus causing Gojyo to back away more --- resulting in Hakkai pulling harder. It was a vicious cycle -- that had transformed into self-fulfilling prophesy.
Hakkai was always in his face. Doting over him like he was a sickly child. Emerald didn’t have the glue Gojyo needed to piece himself back to together -- Gojyo had that glue and just as he was getting the cap off someone would interrupt him.
“What happened?”

I don’t know and I don’t want to know.

“Just call my name, I’m right here.”

Yeah, I know. Believe me I know.

“You are aware that we need you, right?”

What the fuck? Right now, I need me so get the fuck off my back!

“Kyruu”

You too? Shit!

“If you want to talk… incase you want to talk… it will help if you want to talk… talk… talk to Hakkai … talk … talk … TALK”

Talk! About what? AND what good is that shit? I don’t know enough to talk, anyways. What the fuck can I say to get you to leave me alone? What do you want to hear? I don’t know what happened, but I’m filled with these angry emotions. These flashes of memory. These fears that come from everywhere and nowhere. Do you want to hear --- That my stomach twists if I so much as look at Hak --- HIM? That blonde hair really pisses me off? That … that… why -- why do I have all these bruises and yet no physical pain? What! What the FUCK can I say?

Gojyo nearly cut his hair again.
Eventually, all their voices melded together into one big ball of irritate. Frustration! Aggravation! Like a piece of grit in one’s shoe. At first, it can be ignored. As time goes on, a blister forms. Then, you just have to take off the shoe and hope you can still walk. Gojyo was trying to walk. He was giving it his best shot. But, no one would let him take off the god damn shoe. Not Sanzo, not Goku, not Hakkai, not the voice in his head , not the parrot and not the assassins.
Nobody was cutting him any fucking slack!
Hakkai was worried sick -- literally. He could barely eat, what little he did eat didn’t stay down long. He was getting headaches and his scar throbbed as he watched a loved one drift away. First, it was a metal barrier … now it was a series of wooden ones. His eyes constantly burned and were perpetually swollen from the late night tears. He had difficulty driving. He could tell Gojyo needed some space and although it killed him --- he gave that space. And that, was the sole reason why those inns had doors left at all.
Hakkai just wanted his Gojyo back. The Gojyo that played around with Goku. The Gojyo that irritated Sanzo. The Gojyo that , honestly, made him feel exasperated at times. The Gojyo that could slip in a dick joke where no one else could. The Gojyo whose neck would nearly break when it snapped to look at a pretty feminine face. At this point, he didn’t care if they were lovers again -- he wanted his friend back.
That wasn’t true.
He desperately wanted Gojyo back in his life as they were before this horrid change of events, but he’d settle for friendship -- if it came with the real Sha Gojyo. He didn’t want this stranger in his friend’s body.
Goku had grown quiet over the past few weeks. Seemingly, lost in the fall color change.
This was bugging the shit out of Sanzo. He couldn’t have this kind of division. Why the fuck did all these inns have four room available? Until now they typically had one room and they considered themselves lucky to have two --- but now there were all sorts of rooms available. He knew if he could just force Hakkai and Gojyo in a room together one night --- the happy couple would be back and keeping him from sleeping. Keeping him awake with their living and feeling. In the dark of his room, alone, he even went so far as to chant the sutra --- in hopes of clearing his mind enough to come up with some kind of solution. Sanzo cared --- he just didn’t know how to show it.
Hakuryuu was at a total loss. He knew shell-shocked when he saw it. He knew, but there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. He was a warrior not a medic.
They all tried. In their own ways, they all tried to help Gojyo. Gojyo was trying to help himself.
Good honest effort all around. Weren’t there any beneficial butterflies left?
All four of them were together and very much alone.
Those two weeks were as close to hell anyone wanted to get.
Hakuryuu did what Hakuryuu always did and that was dutifully get them to the next town.
The four of them scanned the medium sized town. Currently, they were walking down a wide dirt road. There weren’t any obvious wells or power lines. There was the occasional gas powered generator. This odd mixture mean one thing; they were on a trade route. A unique place where cultures tended to peacefully mix as technology was exchanged, absorbed and by some rejected.
Hakkai deduced that most the town was of moderate tech level ---indoor plumbing, but still on candle light. He’d never understand it.
All in all the town was just plain mediocre. Not too large, not too small meaning --- decent showers, but terrible reading light.
The food ;however, was excellent and the inn they checked into seemed to have comfortable beds --- even if they only had two available (at least that‘s what Sanzo told everyone -- he wouldn‘t lie, would he?).
They decided to take a walk after lunch. To stretch their legs and maybe if they feigned normality enough their resident water sprite would be normal. Hakkai walked close to Gojyo --- barely capping the urge to interlace his fingers with his lover’s.
Sanzo looked over at Hakkai, “Still no demons?”
Hakkai shook his head softly, “No. No scent. No aura. Nothing.”
Goku lightly pouted and sighed, “Where’s the fun in that?”
Gojyo playfully smacked Goku across the shoulders, “There’s lots of fun in rest and relaxation. You lack imagination.”
Sanzo, Hakkai and Goku stopped as Gojyo kept walking. What the hell? Was Gojyo back? When did this happen?
Gojyo wasn’t back. He could fake the funk. Looking back on these two weeks he noticed something -- he noticed the sun off Sanzo’s hair didn’t remind him of the need to kill something so much anymore. And, he could look at Hakkai longer before that twist kicked in. Maybe, these guys had given him enough time and space -- enough to make just a little head way. Maybe, it was because his bruises had begun to forget too -- fading just enough so their taunting jests didn’t seem to know as much as they thought they knew.
Maybe --- he was stick to death of them fawning all over him and if he put on the fucking happy face and gave the nursemaids what they hell they wanted --- then maybe just fucking maybe he could get some time alone. He could trick the psychiatrist --- he was a sharp enough patient for that.
Yeah --- his world was little fragile right now.
“A meat bun stand! Can I have one?”
Sanzo cringed, “Goku, we‘re about to eat dinner.”
“Walking makes me hungry.”
Gojyo forced a chuckled, “Everything makes you hungry, Monkey.” Gojyo was palliating. Covering up; sweeping under the rug, ignoring, pushing away, living in denial.
Anything --- whatever it took to stop these whispers , waifs and wisps!
Anything, but remember.
Goku sighed, “I have a name, Sprite.” Goku scanned Gojyo’s face for some sign -- any kind of sign … was his buddy back? Had his pal returned? Were they back to their banter? He hadn’t had anyone irritate him for weeks -- he had all sorts of lines waiting in the cue for some indication that they could be unleashed.
Overhead, glass broke and a small form came flying from the second story window.
The four men stopped in their tracks as the defenestrated crimson haired girl fell to the ground. She rolled in the street, unfurled herself from her flesh ball and ,as she got to her feet, she glanced over her shoulder. Gojyo zeroed in on her crimson eyes. She tried to hide a limp as she ran down the street.
Gojyo’s rug just got yanked. The pendulum on his mood swing metronome began to arch to the opposite extreme.
Gojyo and Hakkai took off down they street after the girl.
Sanzo looked up at the window, “What the hell?”
Goku glanced up at the window and down at the street, “That must have hurt.”
Hakkai and Gojyo followed the girl around a corner and she was no where to be found. Sanzo and Goku caught up with Hakkai and Gojyo.
Hakkai scanned the alley seeking out any sign of movement, “We lost her.”
Goku sniffed the air, “I got nothing.”
Gojyo scanned the dirt looking for appropriate sized footprints, “Must be a busy alley.”
Goku looked up at Hakkai, “Do you think she was hurt?”
Hakkai nodded, “No doubt.”
Sanzo turned and violet eyes found the door to the house from which the girl was thrown. He began to walk toward the door.
Gojyo put his hand on Sanzo’s shoulder, “That will just make it worse.”
Sanzo dipped his shoulder out from under Gojyo’s hand. He reached into his robes and fished out his cigarettes.
The first of the lantern-lighters set up his ladder and lit the oil street lamp.
Sanzo sighed, “It will be dark soon, we should head back to the inn.”
Goku wrinkled his eyebrows, “We can’t just leave her; we gotta do something.”
Hakkai sighed, “We can’t help her if we don’t know where she is.”
Sanzo began walking toward the inn, “If she is hiding, she doesn’t want to be found.”

Gojyo had grown silent, he didn’t say a word all the way back to the hotel. This bore down on Hakkai --- just when they seemed to be getting a little bit of progress with Gojyo.
In reality, Gojyo was a private person. For as open and as honest as he was, he wasn’t the type to just sit down and say, “This is what happened to me.“ Over the time of traveling and the years of growing friendships before this mission west, some items came out in conversation. They knew the highlights of Gojyo’s past. They knew of the school-yard bullies and the fights Gojyo experienced because of this bloodline. They also knew Mommy Dearest wasn’t the best of memories, but only Hakkai --- and only because they lived together for three years and their recent relationship --- knew the details of the abuse Gojyo suffered from the hands of his mother. Hakkai knew why Jien left home and Hakkai thought he knew the full story.
Hakkai never got the full story behind the “we’re not so different you and I.” comment all that time back.
Little did Hakkai know , that Gojyo kept other secrets. Deep, dark, hidden secrets about the extent of the abuse, about the frequency of the abuse, about they types of abuse -- these were secrets that were told to no one. This was abuse not by the hands of his mother. These were secrets that haunted Gojyo.
Haunted him not in memory, but in behavior. Two horrid years of his life ---
Gojyo’s father died so long ago, Gojyo only carried hints of memories of him. At one time, he thought he saw whispers of his dad in Jein’s face, he supposed that maybe his brother looked a bit like Dad. He harbored no memories of his birth-mother. Why Mom kept him around he’ll never know, but that nightmare ended one day with him sitting on the floor ready for death and the Grim Reaper missing his target. Mom was extinguished. Jein had diverted the Grim Reaper’s attention and then Jein left.
He was eight. Eight years old -- Motherless, Fatherless and Brotherless. What is a kid to do, but hit the streets? Well, some kids might find themselves in an orphanage or a temple. Some kids might find themselves being some kind of charity case for some school looking for an altruistic tax write-off. Some kids, but not Half-Breeds.
Half-Breeds have no orphanages. Half-Breeds have no acceptance at temples. Half-Breeds aren’t appropriate for tax breaks. Half-Breeds have their wits and their own two feet.
A small ray of hope entered young Gojyo’s life not long after he left home. A kind sweet family took him in. They were a young couple, with no kids of their own. A young couple that knew Half-Breeds were sterile. A young couple that knew the sordid uses of young growing bodies.
Encouraged and provoked by “If you don’t do it, she’ll cry. You don’t want to make her cry do you, Gojyo?”

No, of course not. “Don’t cry… please don’t cry. I‘ll do it, I’ll do anything. Just don’t cry. ”
It didn’t take long to figure out which buttons to push on young little Gojyo to get whatever behavior they wanted from him.
Gojyo learned that not doing certain things would make women cry. Gojyo also learned that not doing certain things would make men cry. By they way Jein treated Mother --- she didn’t cry when Jein did the things he did with her --- little Gojyo learned that doing certain things would stop or prevent tears. Mom cried when he tried to hug her -- Mom didn’t cry when Jein hugged her -- the way he hugged her.
It didn’t matter that it made him cry --- Gojyo’s tears weren’t important.
Stopping or preventing the tears of others was all that was important. Gojyo learned that cruel cold fact real early.
Gojyo found himself with other children that looked like he did with their sad crimson eyes and bright crimson hair -- all of them just not wanting to feel the strike of a hand and see the rivers of tears. He was shuffled from place to place sometimes for weeks at a time and sometimes just for one night. There were a lot of sad people in this world and apparently Gojyo was pretty special because he had the ability to stop the tears.
Stop the tears of everyone except himself. He apparently wasn’t special enough for anyone to stop his tears.
Needless to say, Gojyo was one confused little boy that grew into a man that thought he had it all figured out. He had some very confused ideas about sex, love and how to hide and stop pain. His bed-hoping therapy was not due to an abundance of hormones, but due to an over-abundance to confused twisted rationality. A warped rationality that had just become part of his nature -- completely absorbed by his psyche.
By the time he was eleven, a real genuine ray of hope came into his life. A kind woman just eleven years older than he rescued him , along with some other children, and took them home. Home to The Underground.
Home --- such a nice thought now.
The four of them sat down at a large round table. The waitress came to take their order. Along with their meals, they all ordered kappa rolls. All except one.
The waitress looked at Gojyo. He barely spoke, “Beer.”
The waitress nodded and walked from the table.
Inquisitive golden eyes cut toward Gojyo, “You’re not eating?”
Gojyo replied flatly, “I’m not hungry.” Gojyo couldn’t eat now if he wanted to. He felt nauseous and there was a rock-hard pit in his stomach that wasn’t budging. Seeing that little girl fly --- dredged up a lot inside of Gojyo. This just compounded his need to think.
Hakkai pleaded with Gojyo, “You have to eat. You have to keep up your strength.” He didn’t want to nag, but he couldn’t risk Gojyo getting physically weak. Hakkai needed to take his own advice. He, himself, had ordered a meal he knew he wouldn’t be able to eat. He would, however, force himself to eat the kappa rolls --- just on principle.
Gojyo lit a cigarette and his voice kept a flat even tone, “I said I am not hungry.”
Hakkai knew it was bad when Gojyo stopped using contractions. Hakkai nodded and let the subject drop.
Goku scratched his head, “Hey, Hakkai.”
Hakkai smiled, “Yes.”
“You’re so smart, tell me this. Why do people do that?”

Hakkai’s smile immediately left his face, “Do what?” He hoped he didn’t know the answer that that.
The waitress placed their food on the table. Gojyo looked into his beer.
Hakkai planned on waiting until the waitress left before he answered Goku’s question.
Much to everyone’s surprise, Goku responded before reaching for food, “Hit their kids. Why do people do that?”
Hakkai sighed and glanced nervously toward Gojyo, “That’s the question isn’t it? There are a lot of theories out there about that. I don’t think any one of them is entirely right.”
Gojyo looked into the yellow liquid as if it had all the answers in it.
Goku put some food on his plate, “Yeah, but don’t people love their kids?”
“Not always,” Gojyo mumbled as the stood from the table. “I’m going to bed, good night.” Love, who needs it?

They watched Gojyo walk from the room. His full beer remained on the table.
Hakkai shook his head, “This isn’t going to be a good night.” He stood to follow Gojyo and Sanzo stopped him with a flash of violet.
“Give him some solitude.”
“Sanzo, I can’t do that.”
“You have to. You’ve been all over him since… since he got back. I would have shot you by now.”
Hakkai sat and pushed his hands into his bangs. He couldn’t deny it. “Have my efforts been --”
Sanzo interrupted, “Your efforts have been you.”
Hakkai sighed. “Is that good or bad?”
“Both.”
Hakkai nodded.
Sanzo glared at Goku, “Don’t be so naive. When did you wake up in this utopia?” Where was that wisdom that Goku seemed to hide? What was the origin of this…innocence? Where was the maturity he saw during “card games“?
Hakkai sighed, “It’s not his fault, Sanzo. It’s his nature, to always see the best in things.” Hakkai smiled as Goku ate with reckless abandon, “The world would be a better place if we had more Goku.” More Goku not more Goku’s -- the world could only handle one Goku -- but that ability to see and enjoy the ephemeral nature of life -- more of that was needed.
Sanzo sneered, “More irritating would be more like it.” Sanzo grumbled, but he couldn’t deny that Hakkai was right.
Goku finally finished eating and the three of them walked from the dining room.
Hakkai opened the door to his and Gojyo’s room. He stepped into the dark room and saw the cherry light up on Gojyo’s cigarette. Hakkai gingerly made his way across the room to where Gojyo was sitting. He felt for and found a chair in the darkness. He pulled it out and sat down. They sat in heavy silence for a while.
Hakkai softly spoke, “There’s only one bed.”
Gojyo stood and found his pack, “You can have it.” He wasn’t going to sleeping in this inn tonight, Hakkai just didn’t know it. He stuffed several packs of cigarettes in his pocket and dumped his pack out on the floor.
“Why don’t we---”
“Just take it!” Gojyo snapped. He’d made up his mind to go home a while back, that little girl just gave him the excuse and impetus he needed.
Hakkai scrambled to find Gojyo’s lighter and lit the candle on the table.
Gojyo found his ink pen, “What room is Sanzo in?” He barely glanced at Hakkai as he grabbed his lighter and partial cigarette pack.
“Nine. He’s sharing with Goku.”
Without a word, Gojyo left the room. The door to room eight closed behind him.
He knocked on the door with the big nine on it.
Goku opened the door and smiled. He wondered if Gojyo was coming in to be social --- he hoped. Goku always hoped, well, nearly always.
Gojyo looked at Sanzo, “Got a paper?”
Sanzo looked up, “Yes.” Of course he had a paper, he always had a paper.
Gojyo wondered what Sanzo found so interesting in the news. What they weren’t creating didn’t matter. “You done with it?”
“Yes.” Sanzo lifted the paper from the chair beside him and handed Gojyo the newsprint.
Hakkai figured that was enough time -- enough space. He stood to leave the room.
Gojyo sat the paper on the table and quickly flipped through it. He found the classifieds section and quickly scanned it to missing / lost pets. He ripped that page out of the paper. He tore that page in half.
Hakkai walked into the room.
Gojyo looked at the floor as he passed Hakkai. He opened the door and put half of the torn-off sheet of paper against the door. He wrote in big bold lettering, “DO NOT FOLLOW ME!!!” He wrote with such force the pen broke. He pulled his pocket knife out, opened the blade and “ice picked” the note to the door. The other half of the page was stuffed in his pocket as he walked down the hall.
Hakkai grabbed the paper and pulled the knife out of the door. He closed the blade with his thumb as he read the note over and over again in his mind.
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Gojyo stepped from the inn and headed right to where he saw her footprints earlier. Of course he noticed her little footprints earlier, he was Sha Gojyo. Broken, messed up right now, confused and warped --- but still Sha Gojyo.
Kenren looked at Gojyo, “Quitting?”
“Off my back.”
“So, you’re just up and leaving.”
Gojyo glared at Kenren. He didn’t yell. He didn’t move to strike out. A low voice reminiscent of distant thunder rolled from him. “Off my back.”
Kenren paled.
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Hakkai looked at Sanzo. Unconsciously, the knife rolled across the back of his fingers.
Sanzo stood and read the note.
Goku read the note, “I think he means it.” He looked at the broken pen and the knife in Hakkai’s hand. When did Hakkai learn to handle a blade like that?

Hakkai nodded. The folded blade slipped into a khaki pocket. Hakkai pressed the note against the bulk of the newspaper. “We need another paper.”
They knew there was a clue in the section Gojyo kept. That much was obvious.
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Gojyo stood at the “busy” corner and found small footprints. He lit a cigarette as he took his first steps. His first steps in following in the footprints of a little girl.

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Goku, Hakkai and Sanzo went to the front desk. Today’s edition was sold out. Sanzo had purchased the last one earlier. The clerk recommended they check a local book store.
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Gojyo came to the end of an alley. There was a scramble. She heard someone coming. Where would I go? The alley had two dumpsters, a locked up cart, several wooden crates and a few cardboard boxes. She’s a girl. The squeamish factor would keep her out of the dumpsters.
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The three men made it to the bookstore and they too had sold out. The store clerk recommended that they try the newsstand.

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The crates, the wood would block a fist. Stronger barrier. Gojyo would have chosen the dumpster --- for the metal. Of course he was a boy and his squeamish scale was a lot bigger. He cleared his throat and a wooden crate shook. He grinned, “How long you plan on hiding? Until you get hungry or until the pain goes away?”

The crate stopped shaking. If she laid real still then they would go away. That’s how it worked, right? They don’t really know she’s in here.
Gojyo nodded. A cat wouldn’t have stopped moving. He walked up to the crate.
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The newsstand guy had just bundled his papers for return, but he was willing to unbundled them.
A violet glare and a Smith and Wesson got a lot of shit done.
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Gojyo sat down in the street and spoke to the wooden crate, “Cuz it will take a real long time before the pain goes away.”
The little girl blinked. They weren’t going away.
“I’m sure you ankle has to be hurting pretty badly.”
She knitted her brow. He was right. It did hurt, but she was a big girl. She could take it. She could take it without tears. She was a whole six years old -- and that’s pretty big.
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They didn’t bother to take the paper back to the room. They opened it at the newsstand and put the torn paper superjacent of the intact sheet. A half a page of classifieds adds. This was going to take a while to decipher. There had to be something here.
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Gojyo took a drag off his cigarette, “You don’t have to come out. I won’t make you.”
Little fingers twisted into young crimson strands. No one had said that before. They would just pull her little crate away and yank on her arm until she came out. No one ever let it be her choice.
“How about I just sit right here and keep the bad dreams away?”
She smirked. That was just stupid. You can’t chase bad dreams away --- not like that. Who was this idiot? A large crimson eye peeked around the edge of the crate.
Gojyo was sitting in the street with one knee up. He had his elbow up on his knee. His scarred cheek was toward her and he softly smiled.
The large crimson eye ducked back behind the crate. Her brow knitted.
“Trying to decide if you can trust me, I can appreciate that. That takes merit and mettle.” Gojyo let out a little huff. This felt a bit familiar. He never thought he’d be saying these words.
The crimson eye peeked out again. No one had said that before either.
Gojyo turned his head slightly finally making real eye contact with her.
Maybe, it was because of his words. Maybe, it was because of the soft tone of his voice. Maybe, it was because of what he didn’t say and didn’t do. Maybe it was because of the cast and bruises on this stranger --- hurt people don’t hurt. Maybe, it was because he too had the look -- the look of a taboo birth. She saw her face -- her mark --- her look on his face. Whatever the reason or reasons she felt she could trust him. Little fingers curled around the edge of a crate. Slowly, her face emerged from her wooden hideaway.
Gojyo acted nonchalant. He wanted her to think he didn’t really care if she came out as long as she didn’t care if he sat right here.
A tiny voice emerged as a little girl hobbled from around a dirty wooden crate. “You can’t chase nightmares away like that.”
Gojyo shook his head. “Most people can’t, but I can. I can because I know the secret.”
She blinked at him. Her little hand pressed against the wood and jerked off. She shook her hand looked at her palm.
Gojyo lifted an eyebrow. “Splinter?”
She nodded and cried. She cried not because of the tiny pain of a splinter but because her safety place just hurt her. Life was so unfair! This was her private little safety place! This place never hurt her before -- only the people that tracked her here hurt her. That’s why she was so careful about the footprints. She sniffled.
Gojyo tilted his head, “Hey now, no fair turning on the waterworks.”
She looked up at him. Who was he to tell her what was fair? “Why not?”
Gojyo smiled, “Because it makes me want to tickle you.”
Her eyes widened as tan fingers reached for her, “Tickle?” She backed away.
Gojyo grinned, “Yes, tickle. This!” Tan fingers danced on tiny too close to the surface ribs.
She squealed and jumped. Her eyes lit up as if candles were burning behind them. Her laugh was clean, clear and pure.
Gojyo knew three things from this. One, this was her first laugh. Two, she was hungry there was no way she’d eaten lately. Three, it wasn’t too late for her. As he backed his fingers away he took her hand. He easily got the splinter out.
He released her hand. She did not release his.
Gojyo wrapped his fingers around her hand and stood. “If your interested, I know a place you can go. A safe place.”
She looked up at him, “Really safe or fake safe? “
Gojyo smiled and gently squeezed her hand, “Really safe.”
“Really and truly?”
“Yep, this place is so safe it has rules.”
“Rules?” Little pink lips narrowed and crimson eyes took on intensity. She didn’t know about that. Rules weren’t all that fun. “What kind of rules?”
Gojyo melted. Did little girls go some special place to learn that look or were they all born with that ability? Whatever it was it worked --- it always worked on him. “Well, the first rule is, You can’t tell anyone where this place is. Anyone that’s not like us.” He tugged on his hair. “This place is so special, that if we tell one --- just one --- person not like us then it no longer becomes safe.”
“So, that means, they can’t know about it.”
Gojyo nodded, “Yep, it is impossible for them to know.” He didn’t need to ask. He knew who “they” were and he knew “they” wouldn’t know about the safe place. Everyone of has their own “they” --- his “they” was his Mother. Her “they” were the ones that defenestrated her. “The second rule is: no one is allowed to hit you --- ever.”
She smiled. This place was sounding pretty good. She took one step toward him and stumbled.
He allowed her to steady herself in his grip. He wanted to carry her, but he knew she needed to be the one to ask that. “The third rule is: you have to smile for me at least once a day.” That was one sweet smile on that bruised face --- he wanted to make sure it didn’t get lost. Swept away under some rug somewhere --- covered up by forced chuckles and palliating jokes.
She took another hobbling step.
Gojyo took a step.
He walked slowly and she hobbled best she could. He explained some of the other rules. “Number four, if I don’t hear your laughter --- I’m tickling you again.”
She giggled and then her eyes went wide. She giggled again and surprised herself again --- surprised by her own giggle. She grinned showing her front teeth. “Where is it?”

He sighed, “It’s easier if I just take you. It’s kinda a long walk, can you make it?” He feigned disinterest, “Cuz, I got some strong shoulders here. I’m told they are pretty comfortable, but whatever.”
She looked down at her ankle. She lifted her gaze up his tall body and looked at his shoulders. Gosh! They were high up there. Way over her head. “I’m Triste. What’s your name?” She reached her hands up to him. She didn’t have to be a big girl today; she had him, but she was staying six. She’d worked hard to get to all the way six.
Gojyo hoisted her up on his shoulders, “Triste? I’m not so sure that fits you. Do you know what that means?”
“It means me.” She grinned as two unruly locks of hair tickled her nose.
“Well, maybe not.” Gojyo turned down a small side street. “It’s a very old word that means sad.”
She sighed, “I told you -- it means me.”
Gojyo patted her knee. “Not anymore. I say we change it.”
She blinked, “You can do that? You have that kind of power.”
He nodded, “No, you do.”
“Really?“ She grinned; she hadn’t had the power to do anything before. Having the power to do stuff -- took thought and responsibility, she didn’t want her first use of her new power to be messed up. She went to her advisor for input. “What name should I pick?”
“How about Parfay?”
“Parfay? What’s that mean?”
Gojyo smiled, “By my faith.” He became a little triste himself as he realized he wouldn’t have anyone to use those words with anymore. Those beautiful arcane words.
Parfay beamed, “I like that, but how about just Faith?”
Gojyo nodded, “Faith is fine, but you’re special we gotta spell it special. How about F-a-y-t-h-e?”
Faythe grinned. She’d never been considered special before, “Faythe it is. I’m Faythe, nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too. I’m Gojyo. Sha Gojyo.”
“I don’t like that name.”
Gojyo sighed and rolled his eyes. Was there some little girl news network about his name or what?
Gojyo fished the newspaper “clipping” from his pocket. He didn’t expect Faythe to get all of this, but he explained to her how The Underground worked. “See this?”
She looked at it, “You missing a dog?”
Gojyo blinked. Good, she can read. “This my dear … my Faythe … is how you find Home. If you ever get lost you look for this….”
Sometimes it was a newspaper ad. Sometimes it was a community board posting. Sometimes just a flyer -- it all depended on the tech level of the town. Wherever the news was there was a posting. The ad was always a missing pet, usually it was a dog or a cat. It always said.

Missing: Red and Tan Dog.

No Collar.

Last seen: 5 kilometers behind

the post office.
“Now, the Red and Tan and the collar part always stay the same. The rest will change. It’s all code -- a secret language just for us. Do you know why it is a red and tan pet?”
She shook her head, “I got the red part.” That was obvious. “But the tan part I don’t get.”
Gojyo sucked his teeth, “Because we’re usually bruised.”
She rested her chin on his head, “Like you are now?”
Gojyo nearly stumbled. “Yeah, like I am now.”
“Like I am now?”
“Yes, like you are now.”
“We’re bruised so we can go Home?”
Gojyo’s brow knitted. Oh! The simple and yet complex logic of children. Of the mouths of babes --- they know not the power of their words. “We can always go home. Bruised or not.”
“What’s with the collar part?”
“That means we don’t belong to anyone. No one owns us.”
“So, home -- this place is behind the post office?” She didn’t remember seeing anything all that special behind the post office.
“No, that’s just where we’ll find the first clue. And, it might not be 5 kilometers. It might be five steps or five feet or …”
“Or five doors?”
Gojyo nodded and smiled, “Five something.”
As he walked he continued his explanation.
And this is how The Underground worked.
The homes were always set up in the outskirts of town -- typically a farm house. They were on a circuit of sorts. A house mother/father and all the kids in the house would move every 6 months to two years to keep suspicions down. If they were found out or if the house parent felt “the heat was on” they would “bug out”. Every house was modified on the inside with hidden passage ways and rooms. There were escape routes in the floors leading to tunnels that lead to safety.
Every house was entirely self sufficient. They used sustenance farming for food (including composting, companion planting and crop rotation) and the house parent would take the excess to market to sell. That money was used to purchase what they could not grow or make. Gojyo would never admit it to the guys, but give him a loom and he could weave up a storm.
The house parent would do what they could to endear themselves with a local doctor or herbalist. “Friendlies” were identified and carefully watched --- they never came to the house. If an emergency happened the child was taken to the doctor. Just like with some animals, one could never be sure when a “friendly” would turn. If they didn’t share the blood-bond they had to be hand picked and carefully screened by the woman that started it all.
Everyone in the household did what they could. Duties were broken down by development and ability. The older ones did more , but the younger ones were expected to do what they could. No matter the age, if someone knew something the others didn’t , like being able to read, they were expected to teach the others. All of the children were expected to learn. The woman that started it all highly valued education.
The Underground eventually became a microcosm. When they had to “bug out” of a house, the house was put on the market. The funds where then funneled back into the organization. Many times an abandoned house or a house in disrepair was purchased, intentionally. This served two purposes. One, it would increase profits once the house was sold. And two, the children that helped repair the house were taught skills and developed a feeling of ownership -- a feeling of belonging.
There were just a handful of non-half-breeds that were a part of The Underground. These trusted adults were handpicked and highly trusted by the woman that started it all. It took years to gain that level of trust.
No one knew how she got up the starting capital or why she started it. When she was asked, she would reply ,”Because I can.” She was not a half-breed and as far as Gojyo knew she had no living family. She was Gojyo’s her.
The Underground was huge. It was everywhere. Once you were a part of The Underground you were always a part of it. No matter your age, no matter your situation -- you could always go Home.
The six month to two year rotation meant that one might find themselves knocking on the door of a family member they had yet to meet. No half-breed was ever turned away.
Rings like what Gojyo had been trapped in were often raided and the kids were taken Home. Sometimes they were found like how Gojyo found Faythe.
The Underground was not to be discussed or even mentioned outside of the sphere of safety. A breech could mean lives and souls.
It was started before the change, because of the way half-breeds were regarded. They were always taboo even before the change. That was a lesson Gojyo knew personally. The need for the network jumped after the change started. No one was sure why.
They had suspicions of raging demons attacking human females; thus resulting in, a spike of taboo births. There were cases of the demon parent leaving the family --- resulting in serious stress on the remaining parent. Thus resulting in, the abuse of the child which lead to the need for Home. There were also cases of the demon parent committing homicide / suicide and left-for-dead children were orphaned. Pure breeds found places --- half-breeds had nowhere except Home.
The woman that started it all was the woman that rescued Gojyo. She’d heard a rumor of a half-breed child prostitution ring. The fact that half-breeds could not have children fed rumors that they naturally possessed special romantic skills. This rumor was as actuate as the one about eating a Sanzo priest would lead to immortality. People didn’t care to check the validity of rumors -- they just believed them. This falsehood was particularly dangerous for half-breed children.
The ad lead to a clue. Which would lead to another clue and so on. The clues were carefully thought out. They had to be clear enough to enable someone to find Home, but they had to be obscure enough to keep out or confuse trackers. The parents never came looking for the kids, but the sex-ring leaders would. Since the change, the occasional bounty hunter would show up sniffing around. It seems that crimson hair was worth some money. Suspicions were rising as to why the bounty hunters were out -- some believed that it was fallout of the change. Others believed it was something else. There were whispers of a special aphrodisiac called “Taboo”, but this has not been confirmed. Either way, it was bad news for the kids.
Rotations were occurring with more frequency there wasn’t a house to reach the two year mark for quite a while and “bug outs” were becoming more common place.
Gojyo made it to the first post-newspaper clue. There was a huge weeping willow tree and a small rose bush to the left of it. There were no other rose bushes around. He could tell by the petals on the ground the flowers bloomed red. He pointed out the clue to Faythe and turned left.
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Hakkai pointed to the ad, “That one. That’s the clue.”
Goku looked up at him, “A dog?”
Violet eyes narrowed thoughtfully, “Have you ever seen a red and tan dog?”
“Well..” Goku thought for a bit.
Hakkai looked over at Goku, “Red, Goku, not that brown that looks red. Not auburn. But red for the mark of a taboo birth,” Hakkai hated that phrase, ”and, I’m willing to bet, tan for the bruises.”
Goku blinked. That made sense. “I think you are on to something.” Of course Hakkai was on to something, whether or not Goku saw it. The green-eyed man was Hakkai -- who was stupid enough to question Hakkai when it came to logic games and puzzles?
Hakkai tore that sheet from the paper. They headed off toward the post office and left the paper on the newsstand.

Them not follow him?

After what happened last time --- that’s just not gonna happen.
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Gojyo and Faythe made it to the next clue: a “tri-trunked” tree. There was a girl’s hair ribbon tied around the right trunk. Gojyo turned right.
Gojyo paused. He looked back and his eyes narrowed.
Faythe looked down at him, “Whatcha doing?”
Gojyo peered into the darkness. “Making sure we aren’t being followed.” Surely, he would have heard Goku’s complaining if they were being followed. Sanzo could only go but so long without squeezing off a round -- he’d hear that too. The green-eyed one --- that one --- he was the sneaky one. Silent, swift and deadly when he wanted to be.
Confident they weren’t being followed, Gojyo continued to walking. That twisted in his stomach. He’d sealed is fate if they weren’t following him. That meant they didn’t want him back. Fine! He didn’t need to be where he wasn’t wanted. Especially considering, he was going to a place where he was wanted.

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Hakkai, Sanzo and Goku made it to the weeping willow tree. The ground under the canopy of the long thin branches was barren save for one bush. Without words, they turned left.
Red eyes rolled inside a tiny, white, dragon face. This was stupid. Why were they doing this the hard way? One word …all the Marshal had to do was give the word and Hakuryuu could take to the air. This situation was perfect for aerial reconnaissance. Oh but no! The Marshal had to do this himself, he couldn’t send out his troops. One day, the green-eyed man’s stubbornness and penchant for solo missions was going to be his downfall. Hakuryuu turned his head and studied Hakkai’s face. No, he wouldn’t allow that. As long as he was on duty, the Marshal would never have a solo mission.
Mindlessly as he walked, Hakkai scratched Hakuryuu under the chin.
He had the best Marshal in all of the upper and lower worlds! No other Marshal would lend that kind of personal touch to the morale and well-being of his troops. Gojun quickly regained his composure and remembered his status. He didn’t enjoy those chin scratches -- not one bit.
And if perchance he did --- it was going to be his secret. A secret he would take to his grave.
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The two half-breeds walked past a mound of fairly large rocks. Gojyo stopped and turned around. He studied the rocks and the surrounding area. In reality, there were three mounds. That was a clue. The last mound. The one furthest left had only three stones. He turned left.
Faythe looked at the rocks. They looked like regular rocks to her. “How’d ya know to turn?” She saw no red flowers, no ribbons… nothing.
“The cruse trifecta of the half-breed.”
“Huh?”
“We have three strikes against us before we even get our chance.”
“Hair, eyes and what else?”
“Pain.” The truth was sterility, but he would let her find that one out when she was old enough to decide on her own if it truly was a curse or not.
Gojyo and Faythe made it through the various remaining clues and finally they hit a clearing.
There it stood like a beacon in the darkness. Humming with the power of an elusive religious relic. A white three-story farm house with what looked like it had a wrap-around porch.
Faythe looked up, “Is that it?”
Gojyo nodded slowly, “Yeah, that’s it.”
“Let me down. I wanna walk Home on my own.”
Gojyo smiled and lifted her off his shoulders. He understood the importance of doing things on your own. “You know you have the right place because the steps are painted red. Sometimes it’s just the hand rail. Sometimes just the mailbox, but something is red.” He stepped up the red stairs and saw the welcome mat. His heart fluttered. He couldn’t get this lucky, could he?
The welcome mat read:

Dorothy,
Hate you. Hate Oz. Took the ruby slippers.

Find your own way home.
Toto

That mat went wherever she went. He knocked on the door. Three knocks a pause and then two more.
He heard some very brief shuffling behind the door and then it opened.
There she stood.
The second most beautiful woman in the world. Commanding the deep beauty that that only occurs when an attractive flesh shell mates with a gorgeous soul and heart.
There stood Cayce.
She possessed a little more knowledge around her eyes and a few wisps of wisdom in her hair. Nonetheless, it was her. Standing there with her pale skin, long brown hair, and deep brown eyes. Standing there in her soft, cotton, flora-print, tea-length dress. Standing there with her loving arms, understanding face, listening ears and honest heart. Standing there before him was the embodiment of Home.
She smiled and softly knitted her brow. She immediately recognized him. “Sha Gojyo.” She knew one day he’d return, but she didn’t expect it this quickly.
Gojyo spoke through a wavering voice, “Cayce.”
Faythe had ducked halfway behind one of Gojyo’s legs. He dropped a hand and physically encouraged the body attached to the peeking crimson eye to head Home. He spoke, ”Somebody needs your help.”
She nodded and scanned his face. The lingering bruises on him called to her. The cast on his arm begged questions. The sadness in his eyes needed her, “Looks like two somebodies need my help.”
Gojyo couldn’t speak he just nodded. Her arms stretched out to him and his met hers. He collapsed in her embrace and could no longer keep up the façade of strength. He melted in her arms -- pushing his face into her shoulder, squeezing her tightly to him, and not even trying to hold back the tears.
Proving that you can indeed go home again.
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Sanzo, Hakkai and Goku made it to the tree. That one was so obvious it was nearly insulting.

Unless it was meant to be that way --- unless it was a ruse.
Hakkai stood looking at the tree, “If these clues are meant to hide something it wouldn’t make sense to have it this obvious.”
Sanzo picked his ear.
Goku nodded, “So, we don’t go the way of the ribbon.”
Hakkai tilted his head, “That clue seems a bit obvious, then again it might be obvious for a reason --- it might be set up to make you think it is too obvious -- thus making you go the wrong way thinking it is the right way.”
Sanzo sucked his teeth.
Goku blinked, “So, we go the way of the ribbon?”
Hakkai spoke, “Maybe.”
Goku sat down on the ground. He was confused. Utterly confused, but he gave his best effort at looking contemplative.
Fifteen minutes later:
Hakkai spoke, “Then again…” He fell silent.
Fifteen minutes later:
Hakkai nodded, “Of course…” He grew quiet.
Sanzo grabbed Hakkai’s sash and yanked him, “You’re over-thinking this. Wherever we are going has clues to get us there. It wants to be found. This is suppose to be difficult not impossible.”
Sanzo marched them off in the direction the ribbon indicated. As Hakkai found his footing, his left shoe slipped from his foot. He did not notice.

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Gojyo and Cayce stood on the back part of the wrap around porch. Gojyo leaned against the rail with one foot resting on the bottom part of the railing; he gazed at no point in particular in the backyard. She stood beside him leaning against the railing.
One of the older children had taken Faythe upstairs and was getting her settled in her new home. The sounds of dishes being washed, dried and put away traveled through the walls and settled around a half-breed and a human.
She wanted to ask, but did not. She knew how he was. She knew he wasn’t the talking kind.
Slowly the lights and sounds from inside faded. The older children assisted in getting the younger children to bed. Fortunately, or perhaps in this situation for this home unfortunately, there were no infants at this time.
It was a night just like this all those years back that forever changed Gojyo’s and Cayce’s relationship. An early autumn night--- one of those where there was a storm brewing somewhere in the distance. You could hear the wind rustling the trees and count the seconds until you felt it. The wind carried a tweak of crispness and the occasional fallen leaf would tumble by. There was an underlying tone of sweetness in the air as the breeze carried the aroma of fall fruits and crops. The sky was a deep indigo velvet with sparkling diamond accents. The moon, an ever watchful sphere of radiance, cast it’s loving caress down washing everything with a slivery embrace --- an embrace that carried just a hint of emerald.
Gojyo arrived home around eleven years of age. He went through a difficult period of “deprogramming.” Cayce often wondered if he was found on the verge of too late.
One time, Cayce received a letter via telegram and sat down at the table. She opened the letter and tried to absorb the difficult news over a family member. Gojyo, who had a difficult time allowing her out of his sight for more than an hour or two at a time, came to look for his dark haired security blanket.
There she sat holding a piece of paper and tears running down her cheeks.
He walked up to her and touched her arm. His only words were, “Don’t cry.” He began to remove his clothes. He knew how to stop tears.
Her heart broke and she held his little hands static. The problems inside the living child before her were much more important than the pain of death.
Gojyo never learned what that letter was about --- he just learned that sometimes you can stop tears while still in your clothing. Sometimes, you can stop tears by just hugging someone. Sometimes the only thing you had to do -- to be special enough to stop tears -- was to just be there.
Their relationship was normal, given the circumstances. She did her best to teach him his self-worth was beyond his sexuality. It worked pretty good until puberty.
He was 16; she was 27. Given the entirety of his life -- wonderful Mommy Dearest, Jien’s relationship with Mom, Gojyo’s two years of life-warping personal hell and these feelings about Cayce provoked by the physical changes of a growing body -- it didn’t take much for his latent Oedipus Complex to surface. This time -- for this Oedipus -- there was no “Dad” to complicate things.
Maybe, that Oedipus Complex helped explain some of his attraction to Hakkai. The “Mother” of the group.
As they did what they did that autumn night all those years back, she knew most would frown upon her behavior. She was an adult, he a matured-too-fast-by-life minor. And yet, it felt right.
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Hakkai, Goku and Sanzo made it to the rocks. They nearly walked right passed the mounds, but something in Sanzo’s gut told him there was something here.
They stood in silence as the first raindrop hit Hakkai’s shoulder. He closed his eyes and his head tilted forward slightly.
He looked over at Sanzo, “Why don’t you two go back. I can handle this on my own.”
Sanzo sucked his teeth as a raindrop hit a lock of bangs, “I’m not coming all this way just to turn back.”
Hakkai glanced at Goku and back in to violet. The last thing he needed was a particularly pissy Sanzo when they found Gojyo. “Wasn’t it you who said something along the lines of, ‘If they are hiding, then they don’t want to be found’ ? “
Sanzo picked his ear as he turned to walk back toward their inn. He couldn’t argue with his own logic.
Hakkai took a few steps to walk back with them. His right shoe slipped off and he did not notice. As they walked back, Hakkai grew silent as the slow rain tapped reminders around him. In pitifully small increments, he increased the distance between the himself and the other two.
By the time Sanzo and Goku thought to turn around, Hakkai was beyond sight.
Some things just have to be done on one’s own.
Sanzo and Goku continued on to the inn.
Hakkai made it back to the rocks. He sat down in the damp dirt and thought. This clue could go either way. The smaller mound could be the point of an arrow and the larger mound could symbolize the way to increased hope.
Hakuryuu spread his wings over Hakkai’s shoulders --- trying to protect the Marshal from the falling drops.
The fact that the smaller mound had three rocks -- eluded him.

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Gojyo turned from the trees, autumn air and memories. He slipped his arms around her and physically asked for her to make it feel right all over again.
She could never turn him away. Especially, considering he was now an adult -- fully and completely. No longer in that gray area of “how old is old enough” debate.
Gojyo failed to notice the rain.
As the house filled with the sounds of sleeping children -- some still getting nightly visits with their own personal boogie-men -- Cayce set out to make it all right.
Gojyo slipped his hands under her arms and hoisted her upon the railing. He walked kisses from her lips to the delicate shading under her jaw.
She rolled her head back and pulled him closer to her.
The cast pressed between her shoulder blades and his free hand began to work the long line of small buttons on the bodice of her dress. He paused briefly and sharply inhaled taking in the memories of her scent.
She squeezed her knees against his waist and her fingers traveled into long crimson strands.
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Sanzo sat half robed on the bed and gaze out the window. His back was against the headboard and his knees slightly bent. Watching --- just watching the acidic piercing drops of memory fall and worrying. Worrying about Hakkai and Gojyo -- where was Gojyo? Would Hakkai find him? Hakkai seemed off tonight -- if they found each other would they return and was Hakkai or Gojyo in any condition to deal with demon assassins on their own? And why, why was he so pitiful when it rained? So pitiful as to allow this situation to come about.

I couldn’t save him.

And here he was unable to save a completely different “him”.
Goku slipped from the chair at the table and padded across the wooden floor, he stood next to the bed.
“I’m not sick,” softly came from the blonde.
“I know that.” Goku said trying to sound cheerful instead of fretful. He sat down on the bed.
They sat in silence for quite a while. Sanzo watched the rain and Goku watched Sanzo.
Goku sighed, “Do you wanna play a game of cards?”
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Hakkai brought this knees to his chest as he looked at the rocks. He crossed his arms around his knees and lowered his forehead to his arms. Why couldn’t he figure this out? Why couldn’t he wrap his mind around this? He lifted his head and ran his fingers through his hair. His headband slipped off and he did not noticed.
Hakuryuu did his best to play umbrella, but the drops were coming harder and more frequently than his wingspan would block. He rested his chin on Hakkai’s head.
Hakkai sighed, “What do you make of this?” He didn’t know why he voiced that. He suppose he just needed to hear something that other than the sound of the rain drumming. Drumming out signals and recalling memories.
Hakuryuu’s little dragon eyebrows knitted. The Marshal needed his opinion on something more important than a child’s drawing this time. He felt honored. For some reason, he thought of his son; maybe, there was nothing more important than a child’s drawing. Alas, his family wasn’t here and he needed to help devise a way to get to the unruly General -- who was going to get one serious demerit for leaving the Marshal.
Again.
Damn solo missions.
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Gojyo slipped her sleeves down her shoulders and walked kisses down her chest. He cupped a breast in his right hand --- Gods! It had been a long time since he was with a woman. He brushed his thumb across her nipple and smiled as it hardened.
She wormed her hands to the button on his black jeans. She rolled her head back and moaned as he ran the tip of his tongue around her nipple.
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Sanzo didn’t look away from the window. He simply put a hand on Goku’s shoulder and replied, “No.”
Sometimes when it rained Sanzo was overcome with anger, other times it was sadness. Tonight it was numbness.
He didn’t want to play a game of cards and yet he knew it was pointless to send the man-child away. Short of striking the golden eyed adolescent -- that was never going to happen again -- nothing would make Goku leave him. Not on a night like tonight. Truthfully, Sanzo didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t know what he wanted, but feeling the way he was feeling, sitting in the dark allowing himself to be consumed by what could not be changed, was not it.
He gently tugged Goku’s shoulder and encouraged the late-teenager to sit on the bed between robed knees.
Goku leaned his back against Sanzo’s chest.
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Gojun looked up at the now cloudy night sky. This would be so easy if he’d just take to the skies, but doing so would leave the Marshal without any protection. The Marshal would be totally alone -- at night --- during a rain --- in the middle of some unknown forest.
Yet, if he didn’t do something the Marshal would just remain here.
Hakkai was beginning to get a bit angry with himself over this. Frustrated and irritated. This wasn’t that hard. He had to be over looking something obvious. Why! Why couldn’t he see it?
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Gojyo pulled away from her as his tank top was slipped off his shoulders.
Cayce tried to hide her gasp as his bruises and wounds came into view.
He pretended not to hear her. Gojyo needed to do this. He needed some sort of action to reaffirm his ownership of his own body. He needed to feel a loving touch. He needed the embodiment of Home. He needed to know he wasn’t the monster he nearly became. He needed to forget his own pain -- for a little while. He needed … he needed … he needed --- in myriad of ways he needed.
He turned to toss his shirt to the side and she saw the carvings in his back. Someone had gotten a hold of him. Someone had done unspeakable things to him. He needed her -- this much she knew. She cradled his face in her hands and lightly kissed his lips.
The salt of his tears tingled on her tongue. She brushed her fingers down his jaw line and her index finger rolled from under his chin. There was a deep -- deep sadness in those eyes. Deeper than she remembered.
He shifted his face and dove in to her neck as he slid a hand up her thigh. He wasn’t even aware he was crying.
Kenren knitted his brow. At first this seemed like a real good idea -- this was breaking no rule. Now -- something seemed off.
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Sanzo wrapped his arms around Goku almost too tightly and pressed his forehead against the stick of dynamite’s shoulder.
Five years. Five years separated them in age -- not counting the 500 Goku spent in the cave.
Five small years. At times it felt like much less and other times much more. Every so often those five years would dissolve into oblivion, but tonight those five years seemed inverted.
Feeling the calm strength radiate from Goku, made Sanzo in his weak and numb mindset feel very much the junior of the two.
Konzen turned to Sanzo, “You make me sick.”
Sanzo looked at the long haired blonde, “What’s your problem?”
Konzen rolled his eyes, “You’re pitiful -- do you know that? What the hell do you think you are doing?”
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Hakuryuu heard an exasperated huff leave Hakkai. He looked up again. Maybe there was a way he could work this.
He was a resourceful dragon. He was a military dragon. He was a royal dragon. He was Gojun, Dragon King of the Western Seas! It was time to call in a few favors. He flapped his wings and took flight. He flew straight up and looked down keeping and eye on the Marshal.
Hakkai lifted his face as Hakuryuu took flight.
Hakuryuu peeped as he watched that Marshal fall apart without that General. Near the tree tops, he hovered. He turned west and cried out -- long and loud. As his little dragon voice was carried by the winds, he kept a careful eye on the man below him.
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Gojyo heard what sounded like a bat in the distance and looked out over her shoulder. It was raining; someone needed him right now.
Oh yeah, that’s right --- he was quitting. Hakkai would have to work out his rain issues on his own.
She slid his pants down to his knees and he tilted her back.
She rolled her head back and felt the rain against her face. She smiled as drops of cold water rolled into her hair. She shook her head and rolled it forward.
Gojyo smiled as locks of wet brown hair stuck to her neck and face. “Ever done it in the rain?”
She smiled as she moved a lock from her lips, “Nope.” She moved her hands to his biceps.
He shifted his hips and slid into her wet warmth, “You have now.”
She took in a sharp gasp and tightened her grip on his arms. Gojyo had most definitely grown up.
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These were the nights that confused Goku the most. He’d long since become jaded to the duality of Sanzo -- the polar opposite extremes that the priest seemed to flip between. Nights like this this; however, seemed to exist outside of that dichotomy.
These rare nights , as special and as wonderful as they were , worried Goku more than any other. Partly, because he didn’t know what to do to make it all better. What actions should he take to help carry the burden his friend shouldered?
Another reason these nights worried Goku, is that they were so out of character for the priest. He knew he was the only one to see such sides of the normally acid breathed monk. Privileged enough -- honored enough to be the one Sanzo called to or rather didn’t push away when life’s burdens became too much.
Sanzo took in a deep sigh as his fingers gripped Goku’s chest. Why did it always have to be like this? Why did he have to run in such extremes? Why couldn’t he just feel normal? Why was he so cold?
One day months from now Sanzo would look back on this night and suppose he was just trying to feel something without having to feel anything.
This was one of those extremely rare nights Sanzo just wanted to breathe and be reminded that he was alive.
Goku pondered his course of actions and of all the things he could do right now -- he chose to simply sit and breathe.
And that, was exactly what Sanzo needed.

Sanzo looked at the man dressed in light purple, “I’m living. What is that you are doing besides being annoying?”
Konzen narrowed his eyes, “Looking at a sad man.”
Sanzo picked his ear.
Konzen stormed up to Sanzo, “Living! With the golden eyed one? Tch. You make me ill.”
Sanzo narrowed his eyes, “Who the hell are you?”
A blonde eyebrow lifted under long blonde bangs, “Someone who recognizes when someone is too young.”
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Fully confident in the intelligence provided by and the reconnaissance performed by his compatriots, Hakuryuu swooped down to Hakkai.
Now, how to tell the Marshal? Oh, why was it that one quandary just lead to another?
Hakkai looked at Hakuryuu without seeing him. Hakkai was lost in a mental world of logic games and out-witting the enemy. He was so focused on the tactics the minute details of life seemed to escape him.
Gojun knew that seemingly -- vacant look in those green eyes. He nipped Hakkai’s shirt and tugged in the direction of the larger mound.
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Cayce straightened out her arms and leaned backwards over the railing. She hooked her legs around his hips and felt the rain on her face. Drops of cool moisture rolled down her ignited skin -- rolling down her neck and between her breasts.
Gojyo leaned forward as he stroked into her and lapped at the droplets of heavenly tears.
He wished he had full use of his left arm so that he could pick her up and just dive right into her -- just slide into Home. Perhaps it was best that his physical condition required this to be slow and gentle.
She felt him filling her innermost depths and felt every contour of his body as he back his stroke. She was rather thankful he was taking his time for two reasons. One, she was convinced she wouldn’t be able to handle him full force. And two, she could tell he was working something out -- the longer this took the more he’d work out.
He carried the tip of his tongue up her chest, over her chin and sealed her lips with his.
Brown eyes fluttered under closed eyelids as a soft moan escaped her throat. She felt a wet drop not from heaven land on her cheekbone. That’s right Gojyo, let it all out.
This was bed hopping therapy at it’s best and worst.
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Sanzo knitted his brow, “Too young?”
Konzen rolled his eyes, “He’s barely learned to add.”
“Who the fuck are you talking about?”
“The monkey.”
Sanzo rolled his head forward and violet eyes glared. “He’s older than you think. I’m no sad man.”
Kenren sucked his teeth, “Whatever happened to the green eyed one?”
Sanzo knitted his brow, “Hakkai?”
Konzen nodded, “That’s one name.”
Sanzo assumed the long haired blonde was referring to Cho Gonou. “Cho Hakkai. That is his name.”
“Fine. What about living with him? Living with someone that is a bit more appropriate?”
A blonde eyebrow lifted under short blonde hair, “You! You’re the one doing this to me!”
Konzen pointed a finger at Sanzo, “You’ve earned this life. You should live it and live it right. Goku does many things. But! The monkey cannot give you what you seek!”
“You don’t know Goku. This conversation is over!” Sanzo turned sharply and tried his best to ignore the annoying piece of shit that was trying to confuse him.

Konzen turned his back to Sanzo, “You don’t know Tenpou.” What was it going to take to show that blonde the life behind those emerald eyes?
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Gojyo felt her grip adjust around his arms and her legs tighten around his hips, “Do you have me?” He softly whispered.
“Yes,” hissed from her.
He slid his right hand down the front of her body and his thumb sought out a very sensitive part of her body. His lips attacked her neck as he rubbed her in small, tiny. firm circles.
It wasn’t long before she was offering verbal cries to the divine.
Gojyo smiled against her skin, “Cum for me, Cayce. Bring me Home.”
One “Dear God” later and she cried out, “You’re home!” Her legs jerked around him as her abdomen spasmed. Her eyes slammed shut and her jaw clenched. The muscles of her pelvic floor jerked and nearly seized around his girth.
Gojyo felt her dance around him and allowed his explosion home. His hand whipped to her back and he held her close to him as his body danced in its release.
He lightly kissed her lips and he felt satisfied and yet empty.
She smiled against his skin, “From what were you trying to run and is it still following you?”
He whispered, “It is.” Under a kiss, he pulled from her and assisted her with her clothing.
She leaned her back against a support post, drew one knee up, draped one leg down and listened. Listened as he smoked and spoke.
He told her. He told her of the mission, of the green eyed man, and of his frustrations around his mysterious bruises. He cried and laughed. He felt a little bit better -- maybe words weren’t so impotent.
She nodded, “So do you love him?”
Gojyo looked out into the trees, “Yeah, I think I do.”
“Have you told him?”
He shrugged, “We’re guys. We don’t do that. It’s just understood.”
She pursed her lips, “Maybe you should. Maybe it is not as understood as you think it is.”
Gojyo looked at his hands, “The point is moot now anyway.”
She smiled, “So, you’re quitting this mission, huh?”
Gojyo nodded, “Yeah. I can’t do it anymore.”
She slid from the railing, “I wondered if that was you. Sounded crazy enough to be you. C’mon let me show you something.”
He followed her into the house. As they walked through the kitchen he noticed all the art on the refrigerator. Some happy and some sad -- all therapeutic.
Cayce kept all sorts of things to help children express for what there were no words. No words in their growing vocabularies and no words in the language. Some feelings, some thoughts, some fears and some hopes are so ingrained there isn’t any way they can be identified with the symbols that come from small mouths or adult mouths.
Crayons, paper, pencils, brushes, paints , chalk, clay, fabric, thread, magazines and glue for collages, and musical instruments -- all of these were readily available to all the children -- whenever they felt the need to express something that just wouldn’t come out.
Gojyo silently wondered if she still had it.
They walked through the living room and there was a little girl sitting in the front window entrenched in her own world. Gojyo scanned her and glanced at Cayce. He saw the sadness in Cayce’s eyes and knew that this little one was one of the truly lost. The best plans, the most efficient systems and the most noble of intentions occasionally fail.
They finally made it to her office and Gojyo about cried. He nearly lost it as he saw all sorts of newspaper and magazine articles about this unknown half-breed traveling with a Sanzo priest.
Cayce looked at him, “I didn’t collect these, Gojyo, the kids did. You are traveling with one of the highest ranking priests in the entire world. Do you know what that means to these kids?”
Gojyo pushed his hand to his forehead as he scanned an article. Some unknown woman was quoted as say, “Yes, I saw them and they saved my life. The half-breed , as you call him, was particularly nice. All they asked in return was for me to allow their clothing to dry out.”
Another unnamed woman was quoted, “Well, if that thing is traveling with a Sanzo then they can’t be that bad.”
“…all they asked in return was for me to cook them a meal.”
“…all they asked in returned was for me to love my son.”
“…they asked nothing in return.”
Cayce looked at Gojyo and wrapped her hand around his waist, “I want you to know something. These kids have devised a game they call “West” and when they play -- they fight over who gets to be the half-breed. Not the priest -- the half-breed. They fought so much over it I had to create a sign up list.” She pointed at a clipboard on the wall.
Gojyo looked at her and his hand trembled as he reached out to touch the long list of names on the wall.
Cayce continued, “They set up special rules for a bug-out -- all this stuff goes with us.”
Gojyo pulled himself into her and pressed his head into her shoulder.
She whispered, “Gojyo, you give these kids hope. Hope that one day they might grow up to be someone important -- someone respectable.”
That was it. He cried.
She held him as he wept, “Are you sure you want to walk away from that?”
Gojyo softly spoke, “Do you still have…” his voice trailed off.
She patted him on the back, “Yes, it goes with me everywhere I go. It is in the living room.”
The sun began a slow peak over the horizon as they walked into the living room.
Some kids draw, some kids write, some paint, some sculpt, some talk, some dance -- everyone has a away to express themselves. A medium through which they get out what needs to come out -- some way of finding their own peace. Gojyo wasn’t a talker or a painter. He wasn’t a sculptor or a writer. When he danced, it was a prelude to the bedroom. Gojyo played the guitar.
In the living room, safely tucked away in closet in a black case was a simple acoustic guitar. She kept it -- knowing that one day it would be his excuse to return home.
The guitar was handed in such a way as to enable him to stroke with his left hand. It took some work, but he was able to play. The music rang clear and clean through the house and slowly sleepy heads woke and found their way to the living room.

Sitting amongst an audience of half-breed children of all ages and all stages of stress. Gojyo played. A certain lost girl sitting in the window slowly turned her head. Faythe sat by his feet.
Cayce smiled as she heard a familiar chord lift up from the stringed wood.
Gojyo never had words for this song until now. He’d found his words.
He sang clear, strong and perfectly in key.
“Take a photograph,

It'll be the last,

Not a dollar or a crowd could ever keep me here,”

Kenren looked at Gojyo, “You have to remember.”
“Back off, man, I’m working this out.”
“I don’t have a past

I just have a chance,

Not a family or honest plea remains to say, “
Kenren crossed his arms in front of his chest, “You do have a family. You have one here and one in the jeep.”
Gojyo closed his eyes and his head swayed with the music, “I know.”

“Rain rain go away,

Come again another day,

All the world is waiting for the sun.”

“Is it you I want,

or just the notion

of a heart to wrap around so I can find my way around”
What was it that Gojyo wanted? Did he want to continue this bed-hopping therapy of empty satisfaction? No, he wanted what he had; he wanted his emerald palace. He wanted his harbor. He wanted his salvage.
Kenren leaned his back against the tree, “Gojyo you can’t go back until you remember.”
“I’m trying. I don’t want to remember, but I’m trying.”
“Safe to say from here,

Your getting closer now,

We are never sad cause we are not allowed to be. “
Never sad --- more like never wants others to think he is sad. With that smile under those emerald eyes. Gojyo wasn’t any better at living his real emotions -- always deflecting with the humor and hiding between sheets.

Rain, rain go away….”
Rain -- it rained last night. There’s someone who needs him when it rains. Needs him during the rain more than any other time.
Gojyo’s mind raced over the mission. Good times and bad. The times they nearly lost Sanzo. The times that chimp-boy got a wild hair up his ass and thought he was a Billy-bad-ass. The time a certain demon thought he could break Hakkai. And, of course, the drinking contest. It shocked the shit out of him that Hakkai could hold his liquor so well.
Mahjongg , poker, rummy, meals, traveling, the way those shot brown locks looked when the wind ran through them. The times Hakkai nearly killed them driving that jeep down a cliff -- those wonderful off-road brushes with death. He wondered if that green-eyed man was a closet thrill seeker -- he seemed a little too happy to crash into things, run off the side of cliffs, and he carried a controlled excitement that time he went to face a god alone.
Alone -- they wouldn’t let Hakkai do it. Gojyo wouldn’t let Hakkai do anything alone.
Kenren crossed his arms in front of his chest, “I thought you were quitting. I thought you were going home.”
Gojyo nodded as his fingers effortlessly found the strings, “I am --for a little while.”

“To lie here under you,

is all that I could ever do,

To lie here under you is all,

To lie here under you is all that I could ever do,

To lie here under you is all…”
Slow silent tears ran down his cheek as his mind was filled with all sorts of private activities with Hakkai. It wasn’t the sex -- but the physical unions coupled with the emotional satisfaction. The caring, the tenderness, and yes, the fun. All those blushes Hakkai shared. How when they stared having this relationship Hakkai could barely allow Gojyo to even look at him naked and then toward the end that green-eyed man was open -- wide open. Enjoying all sorts of games and sharing all sorts of smiles. Watching that brunette unfurl himself from that ball of woe that trapped him and Gojyo being special enough to stop those tears. All those sides that only he was honored enough to see.
All those nights feeling Hakkai sleep and breathe in his arms. Seeing that face first thing in the morning. Feeling that soft hair against his chest.
Being the one that was special enough to see inside that steel zipper of the red leather bag. Seeing and knowing what was behind that smile -- even the dark crevices that Hakkai hated having.
Kenren knitted his brow, “Gojyo, you’ve got to remember.”
Gojyo looked at Kenren sadness and frustration filled his eyes, “I’m trying. I really am trying, I just can’t get it.”
Kenren had enough.
“Rain rain go away,

Come again another day,

All the world is waiting for the sun.”
Kenren stormed up to Gojyo. He was a god and he was about to make use of it. He grabbed Gojyo’s head and fiercely head-butted him.
That chakra contacted Gojyo’s head and all Gojyo had time to say was, “Ow! Fucker that hurt.”
Gojyo was assaulted with memories. Not half whispers and innuendo, but the whole thing. Starting with getting drunk and ending with the baseball bat. All the details and the understanding of the coping mechanism that backfired.
He remembered and although disturbed and angry he was ok. He was alright. He was Sha Gojyo and he now had the appropriate target for his anger: that blonde bitch and her peon accomplices.
Home has nothing to do with places or things, but everything to do with the people. The saying, “Home is where your heart is.” rings true. Home is a place where someone can be themselves -- good, bad or indifferent. Home is where people accept you for who you are not what you are or what you do-- sometimes in spite of what you are and what you do. Home -- home has everything to do with comfort and love.

He now had to focus on fixing things with Hakkai. He looked at Kenren, “Oh, dear god how are we going to fix this?”
Kenren grinned, “Go to him. Tell him -- tell him all of it. Once he has that information, he’ll figure out something. It will work too -- even if it doesn’t make a lick of sense.” Like that damn weapon of yours.

Gojyo opened his eyes as the music faded. Faythe was grinning ear to ear. Several kids had felt tip markers in their hands. A little lost girl had left the window and stood beside Gojyo.
Gojyo nodded and handed her the guitar. “This is yours now. I don’t think I need it anymore.” Maybe, she wasn’t so lost.
Cayce dried her eyes, “You have some people that would like to sign your cast.”
Gojyo nodded. Where there were kids and a cast there was signing this much was a given.
Names in all different degrees of quality of penmanship covered the white plaster.
A little boy handed Gojyo a felt tip marker. He too had a cast and Gojyo gladly signed it. “To West, with love Sha Gojyo.” The little one was so excited to see his hero and to have that signature -- he forgot all about the pen.
Gojyo pocketed the pen -- his little keepsake from this solo mission.
Faythe looked up at him, “Are you really the one?” She was here only one night and already had been told the stories of the half-breed going west.
Gojyo knelt and looked at her eye to eye, “The one what?”
“The one going west?”
He nodded, “Yes. I am going west.”
Gojyo had never received so many hugs from little arms during the entirety of his life as he did in those next few minutes.
He stood and looked at Cayce.
She smiled. She knew, just like when he was 17, he was about to walk out that door and assert his independence.
They exchanged no words. He knew he could return Home anytime. She knew one day he would come back. They both knew this was no longer home.
Gojyo closed the door behind him; his breath “clouded” from the cold morning air. He turned around. Sha Gojyo stepped through that doorway. Not some messed up confused stranger in a friend’s body, but Sha Gojyo -- full and complete. He still had a bit of difficulty with that Pavlovian response, but he trusted Kenren and Hakkai. He knew Hakkai would figure out a way to get around this.
He stepped to the edge of the porch and there on the ground was Hakkai. Hakkai was bawling and looked worse for the wear.
He had no shoes and his socks were brown splotches of mud. His headband was missing -- fallen somewhere in the forest forgotten. His pants were splashed with mud and his shirt torn at the shoulder. A snapped piece of a thorny vine twisted near a belt loop.
Hakuryuu got him there, but it was the difficult way. Would have been no problem for a fellow dragon, but land-locked critters had issues.
Hakkai had been standing there so long his body weight dug divots in the mud. Although the rain passed during the night, he remained soaked to the bone. The unexpected overnight frost lingered on his hair. His nose was red from the cold and jagged breaths puffed out from him. He’d been standing there nearly the whole night. His fingers were stark white and trembling lips were blue.
One very angry dragon was trying to build a fire next to him.
Hakkai lifted his eyes as Gojyo stepped off the last step.
Gojyo stretched out his arms and Hakkai stretched out his.
Gojyo went Home --- again. He clutched at Hakkai. Hakkai twisted cold aching fingers into Gojyo’s clothing.
Gojyo whispered, “What were we talking about?”
Through chattering teeth Hakkai whispered, “Where were we?”

What do you know -- it seems Gojyo was still special enough to stop tears.
Gojyo looked over Hakkai’s shoulder and above the color changing trees a sun was breaking in the new day. Gray clouds filled the sky as blue desperately tried to take it’s rightful place. He jumped as a freezing nose touched his neck. “You’re cold.”
“I’m fine. I had to come. I never got the chance to sign your cast.”
Gojyo smiled, “You want to sign my cast?”
“Yes.”
He pulled his memento from his pocket and handed it to Hakkai. He watched as Hakkai’s beautiful penmanship graced the one remaining blank spot on his cast.
Hakkai wrote:
Let me help you mend.

Thou hast me insoulled
Your Darkling Lesnan.
Gojyo looked at the writing. “Are you?”
Hakkai capped the pen, “Am I what?”
“Still my darkling lesnan?”
Hakkai nodded, “If you’ll have me.”
Gojyo swallowed, “You need to know something.”
As they walked Gojyo told Hakkai the whole story. The torture, why he needed to leave, why he came back, what happens when he looked into those wondrous green eyes and why he had difficulty saying Hakkai’s name. He even told Hakkai about his moment with Cayce.
Hakkai nodded, “That’s ok. That doesn’t break the rule.”
Gojyo lifted an eyebrow, “The rule?”
The cold mud crunched under their feet.
“Yeah, do whatever you want with women. Just let me be the only man in your bed.”
“Wait a minute -- is that what you were trying to tell me before?”
Hakkai nodded. Was this so hard to convey? “Yes.”
“What if I don’t want to do anything with women?”
Hakkai stepped over a log, “That’s fine. I just want you. You they way you are suppose to be. The you that makes me laugh and ,honesty, the you that I want to strangle every now and then.”
Gojyo chuckled, “What if you’re the only man in my heart?”
Hakkai paused and put his hand on Gojyo’s chest, “I would very much like that.”
Gojyo pulled that hand from his chest and kissed cold fingers. He closed his eyes, “You are the only one in my heart.”
Hakkai closed his eyes, “Gojyo, I..I..”
Gojyo whispered brushing his lips against Hakkai’s fingers, “Me too.”
They were guys -- and guys just don’t do or say certain things -- but maybe they should.
What of the dream? The house, dog, 2.5 kids and picket fence?
Gojyo couldn’t father children -- he knew that. He’d known that for a long time. Hakkai has a big enough heart to care for a half-breed. If the time ever came, he knew where there were lots of kids that needed a good home and understanding eyes. Until then -- they had the jeep, the monk, the monkey and each other.
And … what a beautiful dream it was turning out to be.
Gojyo sighed as he pressed those warming, but still cold digits to his forehead. “Can you really help me mend?”
Hakkai smiled, “Of course. That is easy to fix.”
“Easy?”
Hakkai chuckled, “Isn’t it obvious? All you need is a little physical therapy.”
Gojyo lifted an eyebrow. Getting better never sounded so good.

------------------------------------End of Chapter ------------------------------------------------
Next Chapter tentatively titled “Reconciliation.” (I’m sure I’ll come up with a better title)

+++++++++++++Reviewer Feedback+++++++++++++

You guys are too much. All of you.

Really -- too much!

I love you all to pieces!

Cupnjava c[~]~~~*sip*

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purkledragongoddess 2004-11-27
Oh damn that was hot in so many ways. Love the Douglas Adams reference--best series ever. And the whole part about Tenpou designing Gojyo's shakujou with Kenren's arguments how it won't work until he found out who designed it? Priceless.

Purkeldragongoddess--
I’m glad you enjoyed the Gaiden chapter. I picked up on a lot of cross-over between the two lives (here I go reading too much into things) and I figured I would play with it. I have to admit Gojyo’s weapon blows my mind. I figured only Tenpou could design something like that -- and have it work. Giggle.
Thank you for reading and reviewing,
Cupnjava c[~]~~~ *sip*
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CloeyKujaku 2004-11-28
God, I wait so long for these chapters! One week feels like an eternity for me. But, I love them so much! It's like waiting for the manga or DVDs to come out, but better, because there is LEMON!
You never cease to surprise me, deary! Seeing Konzen pop up out of nowhere in the lemon scene was a huge shock for me. I wasn't expecting it AT ALL. And now I'm a fan of the KenrenxTenpouxKonzen triangle. (Sniff.) See what you do to me?! But God, you never cease to make me happy. Your lemons are the best, yum, yum! It's so awesome that you can be humorous, dark, adventurous, angsty, and sexy in this fic and not miss a beat. HOW DO YOU DO IT?! (Shakes.)

As a strong Cupnjava fan, I shall continue to read this fiction and review until I die! ..I DON'T WANT THIS FICTION TO END! (Sobs.) Continue it forever so I have something to look forward to!

LMAO. The bit with you and Kanzeon Bosatsu cracked me up. I love it! ..Know what, I just love everything about this fiction.

Lovelovelovelovelove.

I shall list my loves of this fic:

1. The cute Gaiden Goku. (Awwww, he ate lunch like, FIFTY FUCKING TIMES. XD)

2. The sexy ICness of the characters. (Kenren's an ass. I love him.)

3. How damn well you describe the characters. (I wanted to grope Konzen throughout thise whole chapter.)

4. Lemons. Lemons. And more Lemons. (Need I say more?)

5. Pairings. (FAVORITE PAIRINGS OF ALL TIMES IN THIS FIC! ..'Sides KouxSanzo ain't in here. NOT IMPORTANT, THOUGH!)

6. Plot. (Face it, the plot sticks to the anime. It roxxors my soxxors.)

7. Word choice. (God DAMN are you descriptive!)

8. The damn author. (I love you~.)

So, you damn well earned your title as best fanfiction authoress of all time. Keep writing, and I'll keep reviewing! Keep writing, and I won't come to your house, kidnapp you, and force you to write for me and me alone! :D

Until next time, this is Clojaku, signing off with this last threat--I MEAN loveable comment:

Continue.

CloeyKujaku --

Like waiting for the DVD’s or manga -- WOW! What a great compliment. *BLUSH* I’m glad I surprised you with Konzen. I was afraid I gave that away when he flipped off the papers and Goku had such a heavy day planned. Woo-hoo! It worked! Yes *happy dance*.
At first I was going to aplologize, but I’m not. I’m glad I got you interested in the little triangle. Differnet pairings are nice. *grin* Althought I shall remain a deeply entrenched 5/8 fan girl. Especially after reading the 5^th manga and seeing that whisper on page 58. Hmmm now why would there be an OPEN and EMPTY condom wrapper and a half clothed Gojyo alone with a causally dressed Hakkai? Hmmm….. 5X8 all the way BABY!
Young Goku is so much fun to work with -- he’s like an extremely short attention span coupled with a sugar high. He’s just gobs and gobs of fun.
Thanks for the threat --- errr --- words of encouragement.
Continue -- I shall. No worries. This fic isn’t ending anytime soon.
Best Fanfic authoress? Oh my goodness. *blush* You are too kind. You give me way too much credit. Wow.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your thoughts and support. It really does mean a lot.
Cupnjava c[~]~~~*sip*
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Addictedtomarbles 2004-11-28
Oh its so goooooood. I love it to bits and it was capped with a deliciously naughty yet sublimely sexy threesome - in a bathhouse nonetheless. I liked the little details and how Tenpou always gravitated back to his books. I was nodding all the way thourgh Tenpou's tidying; when you have a situation you can't control or fix, then you immediately change to something that you can control that you'd never do usually. For me its cleaning out my drawers: "I may not be able to do this but at least I have tidied out my drawers".
Naughty Konzen, naughtier Kenren and poor harried Tenpou, he's one of my all-time favourite eccentrics. I wanna predict the same thing happening in the next few chapters because threesomes are always good but I like my 58 couple though. Oooh decisions decisions. You're writing is still of such high quality though, it's beautifully long but at the same time not endlessly winding, it has a purpose and isn't long winded. Oh ... and I adored "Tenpou Detail" it had me smiling because Our Tenpou likes to think of himself as cool calm collected and dignified but at times he can be more of a twisted innocent than Goku ever could be. Keep going keep going and I still like the e-mails because I have been reading them at work ah ... the joys of procrastination. I can't wait for the next installment I really can't; will choco-nut-fudgy brownies with marshmallow topping tempt you?
oooh ooh addendum, addition to the previous review ... the irony of HGTG ... brilliant book, I'm Press and Publicity Officer to the Douglas Adams society as well as a founding member and secretary of anime society. You made me adore this fanfiction a whole lot more now. I fall at you feet oh quill-weaving mistress of the papers

Addictedtomarbles ---

The Tenpou thing --- that was intended to bring out his OCD and sometimes you just HAVE to do SOMETHING -- even when you can’t do anything.
A threesome in the lower world --- ohhhh tall order there. I don’t know if it is going to happen. A while back and astute reader told me to let the fic take it where it wants to go. I listened. I stopped fighting the fic with my own ideas of plot and just followed it. I’m on as much of a ride as you guys are.
When Tenpou falls apart he FALLS APART. His world is held together by the others. Left to his own devices and well --- you get a clean library and one messed up Marshal.
I just might have to take you up on those brownies. OMG! They sound so good. I bet they are as sweet as you are --- nah nothing is that sweet. Only you are that sweet.
Hugs!
Cupnjava c[~]~~~*sip*
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Shadowfox13 2004-12-02; 2004-12-05; 2004-12-07
Wow, this is getting interesting, I really want to see what comes next in the up coming chapters. *LOL* And I'm wondering if, the thing with Sanzo will eventually get resolved too. And if the healing between Gojyo and Hakkai will come soon. Does Natku ever wake? Does Goku's memories ever become unsealed and does he ever become whole? And something fishy is still happening in the heavens, withouth the four there, how in the world does it get resolved? Well, that and the journey itself. :)

Anyway I hope you write more soon.
Hehe, I forgot to ask, what with Goku more...er...active with Sanzo, there isn't any plan for Hakkai, Gojyo and Sanzo doing a repeat of their past life (i.e. the bath scene), is there? Hm, and I do hope hakkai and gojyo mend things between them. Does hakkai ever find out about how his name triggers gojyo and do they work on that? Anyway, I really really really would like to read more. :)
I forgot to ask, will there be anymore youkai hakkai and gojyo scenes? Ooh, this time with two limiters off ^.^V or maybe all of them? hehehe. Ok I guess I just liked that part too much *LOL* Hm, and it's too bad Goku's natural form couldn't be used with Sanzo *insert evil laugh* Boy, that would be interesting, if only he had his memories back and his personality was once again integrated. *sigh* Oh well, I really love reading Hakkai X Gojyo. ^.^V

Shadowfox ---

You ask me questions to which I know not the answer.
The Sanzo thang -- well that is complicated. It got a little flushed out in this chapter (12) and will be continued in future installments. There are many layers to that.
Gojyo and Hakkai healing -- started in 12 and gonna be there in 13.
Does Nataku wake? I have no idea. I hope so. I have my theories on that, but it is just speculation.
Goku’s memories -- I don’t know that either. I have my theories. I don’t think it will be pretty if he does. Remember what happened him Homura gave him a taste of his memories … this does not bode well for our Monkey.
Heaven -- I firmly believe there are still things going on in heaven after their departure and I think they are some how connected to what is going on now in the lower worlds. But, I have an ugly habit of reading too much into things.
A threesome in the lower worlds -- See, that’s complicated. Giggle
Youkai scenes -- I don’t know. They haven’t told me yet. While you are talking, I think in a fic somewhere on this board there is a lemon with Goku without his limiter.
Thank you dear for reading, enjoying and reviewing! HUGS! See ya on Yahoo!
Cupnjava c[~]~~~ *sip*
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Flamingolo2004-12-08
Hurray! Technically, you delivered one big orgy...er...threesome. And I must say, all joking aside, the situation and set-up was totally believable, something I honestly didn't think could happen. Brilliant, but not obvious lead-ins, I commend you for them ^_^ One little detail that stood out the most to me in this chappy was the 'stamp' and 'flip' parts. Gods, that was awesome, the atmosphere you create in this story never ceases to amaze me. The whole scene with Konzen pacing just shouted repetition, I could actually hear the stamp and flip noises superimposed on his strides, and contributing to a 'flip-flop' noise of his sandals; combined with the rhythm of the section...*falls over dead*. I hope you're happy, you short-circuited me. Lovely, lovely job with this chappy...can't wait to see what happens in the human world.

Flamingolo --

When I wrote that Konzen bit, I knew you would catch it. I knew it! The tedious repetition of his “life” -- so very sad. No wonder he runs in extremes in the lower world. What else can he do while he tries to feel everything and nothing?
Short circuited you? Hmm is that a good thing or a bad thing? See you shouldn’t allow me to mix smut and electronics because my mind will go right into the gutter and it does involve two AA batteries. LOL!
Believable -- you know how to flatter me. That’s what I am going for is enough realism to make you forget that it is fiction. WOO-HOO! *happy dance*
Cupnjava c[~]~~~*sip*
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