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Relax and Hang On -- Again	By : cupnjava Category: Gensomaden Saiyuki > General Views: 20723 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
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RAHO: XIII: Ligers, Tigons and Shoes -- oh my!
Summary: Perpend for a moment all that we do not know about Hakkai’s (or would that be) Gonou’s life. Let the physical therapy begin. Holiday Gaiden Urasai at the end.

Author’s Note: Before I get blasted for this, snicker, I would like to direct your attention to (using TokyoPop’s version) page 18 of Book 5 of the manga. Look behind Gojyo. You will see the TV , the DVD/VCR combo and the STACKS of DVD’s. Also, he had electric lights, a refrigerator, an electric stove and a drip coffee pot.
Yeah, I’m upping the tech level. However, the device in Yaone’s bag has been there since chapter nine --- technically the sole reason for the bag. The other bandages were there to mask the real intention. Yeah, I‘m a letch.

Potential Spoiler warning: There might be a Goku spoiler. I honestly cannot remember if it comes out in Reload or Gensomaden Manga. I know it was eluded to in the Gensomaden Anime. Sigh, again, however since most of you seem to know more canon that I -- I’m keeping it.

A special thanks -- I would like to thank my betas Ashtari_Hime, Seph and ShadowFox, for all their help this chapter. And for putting up with, “I’m not telling you about that now. You’ll have to wait.”
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As they walked, Gojyo mulled over their conversation, their relationship and where it may or may not be going from here. He harbored no doubts that they were lovers again, but he did wonder if this little escapade damaged their relationship. Gojyo stopped and blinked at the windy path before the them.
Hakkai looked at Gojyo and scanned the area. He’d heard nothing. He’d detected no demon scent. He’s sensed no aurora; he didn’t pick up any indication of demon activity. With emerald eyes darting Hakkai spoke, “What’s wrong?”
Gojyo looked at that green clad shoulder before him, “You said you wanted to strangle me.”
Hakkai softly chuckled and sighed, “Well, Gojyo, sometimes , well, sometimes you exasperate me.”
Gojyo grinned and squeezed his eyes shut. He threw his arms around Hakkai.
Hakkai’s eyes popped open. His arms were pinned to his sides and his fingers stretched out from the unexpected hug. A welcomed hug, but unexpected nonetheless.
Gojyo squeezed Hakkai.
Hakkai squeaked as his breath was pushed from him, bent his elbows and wrapped his fingers around Gojyo’s waistband. “C-c-can’t br-br-breathe.”
Gojyo relaxed his arms, but did not let go. “Sorry.”
Hakkai took in a breath and maneuvered his arms around Gojyo, “Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”
Gojyo smiled against Hakkai’s neck, “Do you know what this means?”
“Clue me in here.”
“You were honest enough to admit to wanting something that wasn’t polite. It means I still get to see what’s under that smile.”
Hakkai lightly kissed Gojyo’s shoulder, “Well, you’re pretty special. Most certainly special enough to---” His voice was cut off as Gojyo squeezed him again.
Gojyo clamored against Hakkai, pulling him ever closer, grabbing and clutching at his emerald harbor.
“C..can’t br-breathe.”
Gojyo softly chuckled and sniffled. “Sorry.” He slipped his arms from around Hakkai and interlaced their fingers. He held tightly.
Hakkai glanced askance at Gojyo.
This time no words were needed -- really.
They walked up to a large thorny bush.
Gojyo knitted his brow as Hakkai knelt. “Dude, where are you going?”
Hakkai pulled some not-yet broken limbs out of the way. “The way I got here.”
“You crawled through thick and thicket to get to me?”
“Yeah.”
Gojyo laughed, “There’s a path of sorts.”
Hakkai gritted his teeth and his lips pressed into a thin line, “Now, you tell me.” He chuckled, What did I say about exasperation? Oh my.

“This is not how I got here.” Gojyo chuckled. He knew that tone of voice and he wished he could see that face.
Hakkai sighed, “Let’s be thankful there’s more than one way to get to a destination.”
Gojyo looked around at the autumn trees, barren bushes and dawning sky; none of this looked remotely familiar. There were no clues near here. He sighed, “Hey, Hakuryuu.”
A small dragon face turned.
Hakkai smiled, “See, I told you he understands more than what people credit him.”
Gojyo nodded, “We’ll see.” He pointed his finger and held it just off that little white dragon snout, “Do me a favor if you can wrap your little parrot mind around this.”
Dragon lips curled. Little, white pointed teeth were exposed. That finger was well within range.
Gojyo continued, “Take to the air and look for three mounds of rocks.” He motioned with his hand, “Three sequential sizes.”
Hakuryuu looked up and flapped his wings. Why did the General have to see that tactic before the Marshal? Why! Why did the one person that saw this problem the same way he did have to be the General? Gojun gained a bit more respect for Kenren’s intelligence; although, he did it reluctantly.
They walked in the direction Hakuryuu indicated and through no thick nor thicket they made it to the rocks.
Hakkai eyed the rocks as they passed. “So, that’s one of the clues you told me about.”
Gojyo nodded, “Yeah.” He’d told Hakkai of The Underground during his “confession” earlier. He didn’t intentionally do it, but the words just poured from him. Rushing out of him and by-passing his brain-mouth filter. (Which for Gojyo isn’t all that strong to begin with.) He knew the information was safe with Hakkai, but ingrained behavior is ingrained. He couldn’t shake the ominous feeling knowing that a pure----- sigh. Oh, come on. If there was one place this secret was totally and completely safe, it was with that brunette. The green-eyed man was one of the few pure breeds that would never…never do the unthinkable. Everyone, regardless, of their bloodline was safe in those long slender fingers. Assuming, of course, you aren‘t hurting someone that green-eyed, smile wearing, killer holds dear. “See the smaller mound?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s the way.”
“Like a pointer.” Emerald eyes rolled. Oh, you have got to be kidding me! It was that simple?

“Well, I suppose that’s one solution, but that’s not the intent.”
Hakkai blinked at the rocks. He knelt down and focused on the smaller mound.
“It’s the ---”
“Shhh!” Hakkai held up a finger. He was bound and determined to figure this one out himself. This was challenge. These three mounds and that mound of three rocks had become his own personal white whale.
Gojyo sighed and sucked his teeth. He sat down. He recognized it when Hakkai was on the hunt.
Hakuryuu sighed and perched on Gojyo’s shoulder. He couldn’t believe they were back here.
Hakkai scratched his head.
Gojyo lifted and eyebrow and slowly turned his head eyeing the dragon, “What is this? I’m glad to know I rank higher than mud. “ Gojyo scratched Hakuryuu’s chin.
Hakuryuu blinked at Gojyo.
Pink lips smiled and he lit up a smoke, “Hey, Parrot. Thanks for keeping an eye on him.”
Little dragon eyebrows knitted. What is this?

Gojyo nodded, “I know he’s safe with you. “
Little dragon cheeks flushed under those scales. That was the highest compliment he could ever be paid: The Marshal was assumed safe under his watch.
Gojyo continued, “I know some regard you as just a dumb animal. I may joke, but I see something in you. I sense that warrior spirit.”
Gojun was speechless. He was given one stipulation when he was granted permission by the Merciful Goddess, herself, to come down to the lower worlds to protect the Marshal. He was not to reveal his bi-ped form. Period. These four were to never equate Gojun, Dragon King of the Western Seas Clan with the creature known as Hakuryuu (White Dragon) --- end of story. His identity had to be kept secret. He supposed it was to help fly under the radar of Li Touten. How Gojyo saw that warrior in this form, Gojun would never understand.
A dragon snout slowly approached that outstretched finger and rubbed his cheek against it. I know he’s safe with you. Safer with you than with me. When you haven’t lost your damn mind, General.

Gojyo looked over at Hakkai, “Do ya want a hint?”
“No.” Hakkai counted the rocks in each mound. Maybe, the solution was mathematical. “Ok, does it have anything to do with a prime number or the golden ratio?”
Gojyo laughed, “Dude, no! Not even close. Keep it simple.” He was confidence his “golden ratio” has nothing to do with Hakkai’s golden ratio. Hakkai’s was probably that boring mathematic shit.
Hakkai turned his focus back on the smallest mound. Three rocks. “One rock for hair color and one for each eye.”
“Close. You got two.”
Hakkai nodded. One rock for hair. One rock for eye color. “Do all mix bloods have your breathtaking skills?”
Gojyo blinked, “Skills?”
“Yeah, bedroom skills.”
Gojyo actually blushed. The detached way Hakkai said that as he mulled over this puzzle made it seem like his being a good lover was a solid fact. A fact taken as a given like up being up and down being down. “No, Ha--.” His breath caught in his chest, “No, that just one way I’m special.”
Hakkai nodded, “You have no idea how very special.”
Gojyo pushed his hand to his forehead and softly chuckled. “Well, I work at it.”
Hakkai turned around, “Really? Because it just seems so natural for you.”
Gojyo laughed. It seemed Hakkai had forgotten all about that puzzle the moment sex was brought up. Now, who’s the perv here? “Yeah, I’ve acquired skills through out my life. I wasn’t born a good lover.”
Hakkai sat in the dirt and looked at Gojyo, “Hmmm. I didn’t think you were born a great lover, but c’mon, some of that has to be natural. I mean , really, it’s just…” He shook his head and let out a huff. “Unbelievable.”
Gojyo snuck in a quick glance at those emerald eyes and darted his eyes away before the twist kicked in, “Now, don’t go selling yourself short. You’re pretty….” His eyes narrowed as he listened intently. “You’re teeth are chattering again. Oh dear god, you’re still wet. Why are we talking about this here?”
Hakuryuu was beginning to wonder if he needed to make a fire. A little peeping sigh left him.
Gojyo knitted his brow, “And just where are your shoes?”
Hakkai looked at his feet. “I’m not exactly sure.”
“Oh for crying out loud, do you have another pair at the inn?”
There was a brief moment of silence as both wondered when their roles had reversed. When did Gojyo become the doting mother and Hakkai so interested in conversations about sex? Yeah, they’d been around each other too long.
Hakkai nodded, “Yeah, but…well…I guess I won’t have a choice. I’ll just have to break them in.”
“Wait a minute, you’ve been carrying a pair of shoes you have never worn all this time?”
“Yeah, you’re gonna laugh at me.”
“I won’t laugh.”
“Yes, you will.”
“No, I won’t.” Gojyo sighed. He hoped like hell he could stave-off that laugh.
“See, I have this thing about shoes. I’m pretty picky about my shoes. So, when I find a pair that I like, I buy a lot of them. I keep them in the boxes and switch shoes when a pair gets worn out.”
Gojyo pressed his lips together and bit them closed. He wasn’t going to laugh, damn it. Damn it!
Hakkai shrugged, “That was my favorite pair. They’d broken in just right.” He shivered and sighed, “But, here of late, they were getting , I don’t know, uncomfortable. Like they weren’t talking to my feet. Like there was some kind of miscommunication and well I suppose starting over fresh is a good thing.”
Gojyo grabbed his stomach. His mind jumped right to a visual of little, cartoon, talking shoes carrying on conversations with Hakkai’s feet.
Hakkai sighed and chuckled, “I told ya you’d laugh.”
Between chuckles Gojyo spoke, “I’m sorry, but…but…” He took in a self-collecting sigh and looked at the becoming blue sky, “Yeah, I think starting fresh is a good idea, but it won’t be totally fresh. You already have the pair.”
“Yeah, I’ve held on to them for quite a while now. I really like them. They’re a nice looking pair.” He sighed as he looked at the rocks.
Gojyo smirked as he stamped out his cigarette. He knew Hakkai wanted to figure this one out on his own, but there’s nothing wrong with a little help from your friends, “What do Ligers, Tigons, Hinnies, Mules, and Pumapards have in common?”
Hakkai blinked and looked over his shoulder at Gojyo, “They are all beautiful, powerful, special creatures that happen to be hybrids.”
Warmth washed down the inside of Gojyo’s body. He was never walking away from this. “And, something else.” Someone not of the blood-bond that was so… so… unconditional. Talk about rare creatures. One person, one very special man, and he was so lucky as to have found him.
Hakkai knitted his brow. “Sterility. They…are…” He looked at Gojyo.
Gojyo looked at his hands. “Yeah, half-breeds are sterile.”
Hakkai blinked, “I thought human and demons were different races not species.”
Gojyo shrugged, “I guess biologically there is a difference.”
Hakkai stood up, “Ya know not all hybrids are sterile.”
Gojyo stood up, “Really?”
“Yeah, the Zeedonk and Wolphin are capable of self reproduction.”
Their fingers interlaced as they walked.
Hakkai continued, “And, they are just as beautiful and rare.”
Gojyo squeezed Hakkai’s hand -- maybe there was a little room for “Faythe” and words in this world. Maybe words did help a bit. Maybe talking and saying what was unsaid had magic. Maybe, just maybe, after the fact sentences weren’t so impuissant.
He’d known for a while that in order to provide what was stolen from him, a good stable home and the love of family, he’d be a Dad that didn’t father his children. Finding someone that would not only care for a half-breed, but would open their heart and home to children not of their womb was a daunting task. Here he was with someone that looked beyond the curse trifecta and deeply understood the needs of orphans. He wanted to kick himself for even thinking this was anything but home.
Gojyo’s mouth moved and finally words came, “Ya know, I lo --”
Hakkai interrupted, “Shh. Save it for when you can put my name in that sentence.”
Of course, some things were just understood.
Hakkai softly smiled. He gave up on this -- this feeling, this kind of relationship, this longing -- when the most important person in his life was stolen from him. The affections he held for a woman in the Universal Taboo relationship with him had turned their focus toward a man brought into the world via a taboo birth.
Keeping it simple, was just not in Hakkai’s blood.
He never thought he’d experience this again. She was something special --Kanan.
She’d helped pull him form the shell of that sad little boy that saw only hypocrisy and carried only spite and hatred inside himself. She’d not only put up with him, but fell in love with him during his “difficult time”. Oh my, that phase. How he lived through boarding school, he’d never know.
How he lived through sucking mud and that coma, he’d never know. He was just thankful he did.
Gojyo slipped his arm around his lover. “You’ve got to be freezing.” The sunrise had shifted to morning and the temperature was warming to a seasonal early autumn, but Hakkai was still soaked and cold.
“I’m fine.” The truth was, he could no longer feel his toes. His fingers ached and itched as they warmed from Gojyo’s touch. His nose was no longer red, but still sore. His lips had regained their normal pink color having taken warmth from his lovers, but they were still a bit numb. He was wet and cold, but having Gojyo back was worth all the chattering and physical numbness. Worlds better than that emotional numbness that was trying to settle in before this new day.
Gojyo nodded as he opened the door to the inn “Yeah sure, you’re just trying to not make me feel guilty.”
No one, not Sanzo, Goku, Hakkai nor even the dragon, no one would ever throw this little departure up in Gojyo’s face. No one ever dug at him for it. No one held it against him. They just went on from here, safely acting like it never happened.
Gojyo would never let it happen again. In the future his first stop would be to his harbor. A lesson was learned --- the hard way.
You can’t go home again, unless you have never really left it. He’d never really left that harbor.
That tugboat captain wouldn’t let him out of the light -- wouldn’t let him fade into the darkness of the ocean. Life preservers, life rafts, ropes and fog lights kept being tossed at him until he grabbed one of his on volition. Then, after making the first steps on his own -- the safety tether was reeled in.
He could rely on himself and his friends -- that was certain.
They stepped into that inn and someone bellowed.
“About damn time, if ya’d left the dragon we’d be gone!”
Hakkai chuckled as a very tired looking Sanzo sucked his teeth. “I have no doubts you would have headed west with out us.”
Sanzo looked at his coffee. “As long as you know.”
They all knew and no one believed it.
Goku blinked, “What happened to you, Hakkai?”
Hakkai looked down at his disheveled and muddied form, “Well, ya see there was the stunning liger in distress and I just had render assistance.”
Goku blinked. Sometimes Hakkai didn’t make a bit of sense.
Gojyo looked at Sanzo, “Are we traveling today? You look worn out.”
Sanzo had been debating not traveling today. He was just on the verge of declaring a day off. He hadn’t slept. Goku hadn’t slept, to the best of his knowledge, and he was willing to bet that the happy couple was a bit worn out. However! That half-breed just threw down the gauntlet. There were traveling today out of spite, out of principle -- out of Sanzo never being too tired to travel even when he was too tired to travel, “Yes, we’re traveling today.”
If they were too stubborn to take advantage of the room Sanzo ensured they shared, then, damn it, they deserved a little inconvenience.
Gojyo chuckled. If Sanzo could pull it off then they could all pull it off. Gojyo wasn‘t about to be shown up by Sanzo. “Sure, west it is.”
Hakkai laughed. “I’m going to clean up and warm up. We’ll be down to discuss the route.”
Gojyo picked up on that pronoun change. They stepped into the stairwell and he slipped his arms around his lover. He nipped at Hakkai’s ear, “Does that mean a shower?”
Hakkai chuckled, “Of course. I think some good hot water would raise my body temperature.” It was nice to feel that cast against his stomach instead of his neck.
“Hmmm,” Gojyo smiled and kissed Hakkai’s neck, “Ya know… I could help that along.”
Hakkai nodded, “No doubt.”
Gojyo cleared his throat, “For medicinal purposes only, I assure you.”
Hakkai nodded as a blush warmed his cheeks, “Uh-huh, no doubt.”
They made it back to their room, gathered their change of clothing and toiletries.
Gojyo looked at his cast, “Do you think we could take this off?”
Hakkai sighed, “Gojyo, it hasn’t been nearly enough time.”
Gojyo whined, “Oh, come on. Did you use your chi?”
Hakkai laughed, “Yeah, you could say I used a little bit of that.”
Gojyo knitted his brow. He was going to have to get that story out of him, but not right now. “Well, between your chi and the couple weeks in this cast….I’m ….sure…” he tried to find words.
“It itches doesn‘t it?”
“Gods! Yes! It’s about to drive me nuts. PLEASE!”
“Do you really…” He sighed, “Let me make sure we have something to use as a splint. .something removable. We can’t have those bones shifting.” It was pointless to argue with Gojyo, he knew that. Hakkai sought out Yaone’s black bag.
“Where’d we get that?” Gojyo knitted his brow.
“Yaone gave me some supplies when they returned you.”
Gojyo blinked, “They did this?” He wondered, if that blonde with Kougaiji.
“No, your brother carried you back, I think they were the ones that rescued you.” He opened the bag.
Gojyo smirked. Jein was always doing what he needed and this time what he wanted. As soon as he left for that bar, he wanted to be returned. Through his anger, hurt and tequila -- he wanted to be back here heading west. Gojyo studied the signatures on his cast. Hakkai had written his inside the fish that, no doubt, Goku had drawn. He chuckled and muttered to no one, “Cucumber noises, that just doesn’t make any sense.”
Hakkai rifled through all the supplies. This time there was no real urgency; he had time to see all that Yaone provided. He pulled out an Ace bandage. “We’ll try this. If it hurts then we’ll figure out something else. “ Hakkai knitted his brow. There were two hand sized thin flat pieces of malleable, rubber-ish, plastic squares and a small, plastic, white rectangle. He turned both of the dials on the white rectangle and the squares vibrated. He quickly turned them off and hid them back in the bag. Deep tissue massagers. These were cordless. These had uses! Uses that Yaone couldn’t have seen unless she was a bit more freaky than she let on. A mischievous grin washed across his face.
He knitted his brow, This means they have access to tech. That little observation was being filed away in the “things that might come in handy” mental-file.
Hakkai pulled Gojyo’s pocket knife from his pocket. “I’m not too sure this is sharp enough to cut the cast.” They didn’t have a saw; something would have to be substituted.
“Hey, are you saying I don’t care for my equipment?
Hakkai flipped open the blade and brushed it down his arm. “This one is dull, but I‘m sure your equipment is fine.” He chuckled.
The half-breed missed the joke, “It is a pocket knife, not a razor.”
Hakkai smirked. He walked to his pack and dug down nearly to the bottom. He pulled out a butterfly knife and effortlessly flipped it open. He brushed it down his arm and hair fell from him. “Now, that’s an edge.”
Gojyo blinked. “Where’d you learn to handle a blade like that?”
Hakkai paled and laughed nervously, “Well, here and there.” There are some things in one’s life that need to be kept in the past -- like that phase in his.
Gojyo’s eyes narrowed. He knew Hakkai could handle a dagger; there was no way he could have taken out those clans with a dagger and not know how to wield it. That butterfly knife was another story. That takes practice, “You’re keeping secrets.”
Hakkai grinned, “Well, ya know, umm.” He added quickly, “Give me your arm. Lets get that cast off, shall we?”
Gojyo smirked, “Fine. Keep your little secret for now. I’m gonna get it out of you. You know I will.”
Hakkai started to carve through the plaster.
“Watch the signatures, I don’t want them messed up.” The realization sunk in that as long as he avoided those stunning green eyes, he felt fine. Linger a bit in those pools of emerald and the twist kicked in. Maybe, there was hope.
Hakkai nodded, “I’ll be as careful as I can.”
The cast split without a single damaged signature and no additional cuts to Gojyo’s arm. Hakkai smiled, “There all free.”
Gojyo rubbed his arm and scratched his skin, “Oh my god!” He flexed his fingers and rolled his wrist. “Freedom!” He looked at his cast, “I want to get a box for that.” There was a place he wanted to send it for safe keeping. He had no doubts that Cayce would keep it for him.
“Sure.” Hakkai smiled. He eyed his knife. No doubt that dulled the blade. He flipped it closed and put it back in his pack. He’d work with the sharpening stones later.
As Gojyo eyed his cast and paroled arm, Hakkai slipped the one of the massaging pads and the controller in amongst his clothing. He barely capped his chuckles as they made it to the shower room and smirked as he stepped up to the shower.
Gojyo stepped up behind him and whispered against the nape of his neck, “I’m willing to bet you’re feeling warmer already.”
Hakkai chuckled, “Yep.” He opened the shower curtain and stepped from Gojyo’s embrace. He pulled the curtain closed. “Enjoy your shower.” He laughed.
Gojyo’s mouth dropped open as that plastic veil slid between them, “You TEASE!”
Hakkai laughed. Starting fresh was fun indeed. “I’m sorry, but the physical therapy office is closed for the day.”
Gojyo laughed, “Is there a doctor on call, cuz I’m real anxious to get better?”
Hakkai laughed, “Yes, but he‘s out yachting.”
Gojyo sucked his teeth and sighed. He stripped out of his clothes and stepped into the stall next to Hakkai’s. “Fine. I’m going to remember this.”
Hakkai watched as the water took gobs of mud from his clothing. He started to undress and began to wash his clothes and his body. This warm water felt so good. It stung a bit as the warm water felt extremely hot against his cold skin, but now it was just solid penetrating warmth, “Hey, Gojyo.”
“Yeah.”
“There’s always a doctor on call for you.”
The average male thinks about sex every seven seconds, Gojyo thought they were slow and unimaginative. Maybe as water washed over him and soap slid across his body, the physical therapy had already started.
Leave it to Hakkai to make it a mental game --- to start.
Hakkai turned off the water and wrung out his clothes. He dried off in the stall and got dressed in clean, dry clothing. He was wet for so long he nearly forgot what it was like to be dry.
Gojyo stepped out of the stall still dripping and dried his body. He tossed the towel over his head then pulled on his pants.
Hakkai stepped out of his stall as Gojyo was ruffling his hair. He stepped up behind his lover and whispered, “Office visit number one.” He hooked his thumb into Gojyo’s khaki waistband and slipped the pad down Gojyo’s pants.
Gojyo dropped the towel. “What is this?”
“Medicinal activities.” He kissed Gojyo’s shoulder. “Turn around.”
Gojyo turned and looked at the white rectangle in Hakkai’s hand.
“Look at me.”
Gojyo tentatively lifted his eyes.
Hakkai turned the dial.
The pad suddenly vibrated against Gojyo’s flaccid member. Waves of gentle pleasure ran through him.
Hakkai turned it up a little more and smiled.
Crimson eyes went wide then slammed shut, “Oh my god!” Gojyo pushed a palm into the wall as his stomach started to quiver. His knees began to go weak.
Hakkai turned it off.
Gojyo was half hard when it stopped. He panted, “Where did you get that?”
“A gift from Yaone.” He chuckled.
“We’re not giving that back.”
“No, we’re keeping this and you are keeping that in your pants until I say otherwise.”
Gojyo lifted an eyebrow. “You’re devious.”
Hakkai nodded, “Yes, I am. And, do you want to know what else?”
“What?”
“You were able to look at me for a good bit.”
Gojyo blinked. The pleasure registered in his mind before the twist. Wait. There was no twist. Gojyo softly shook his head; he didn‘t understand it, but it was slowly working. No maybe about it, there was hope.
Hakkai leaned in and whispered, “A conditioned response can be changed.” He kissed his lover on the cheek.
Gojyo smiled. “Hey lover?”
Hakkai smirked, “Yes.”
Gojyo chuckled, “Relax and hang on.”
Hakkai dropped to his knees, “Gods! You’re evil!”
Gojyo laughed. That conditioned response was still there.
Hakkai turned the dial all the way up.
Gojyo dropped to his knees. “So are you!”
Emerald eyes lifted. “You’re fixing this problem you created.”
Gojyo looked at a green clad shoulder, “Oh, I am; am I?”
Hakkai grabbed a fistful of crimson locks, “Yes, you are.” He pushed his lips against his lover’s.
Crimson felt emerald probe him… tasting him. Eyes fluttered under closed eyelids as stomachs trembled against each other -- separated by a thin green fabric barrier. Gojyo pushed his hips against Hakkai’s.
A throaty moan left him as the vibrations from the pad worked through both of their pants. He could only imagine what Gojyo was going through.
Long tan fingers worked the button and zipper on Hakkai’s pants. He slipped his a hand between Hakkai’s skin and his boxers. His fingers curled around his lover’s member and he slowly stroked.
Hakkai broke the kiss and took in a sharp breath. He buried his nose in Gojyo’s neck as his hands moved to return the favor.
Gojyo worked Hakkai’s pants down to mid-thigh and curled his fingers around his lover.
Hakkai mimicked and cupped the pad in his hand. He wrapped the pad around his lover‘s cock as he stroked.
There was something about doing this in the shower room that excited Hakkai. The possibility of being discovered rushed the intrigue. The sense of breaking the rules -- of being so lewd --- called to him.
Gojyo’s eyes popped opened as Hakkai roughly nipped him. He smiled as his lover’s body writhed against his. He had a closet exhibitionist on his hands. He whispered, “You know where we are, don’t you?”
A breathy, “Yes,” escaped Hakkai as he moaned and stroked his lover.
They were kneeling in the middle of a beige and white tiled shower room. The shower room of an inn. A public inn. Hakkai knew exactly where they were. They were under lit electric lights. They were out in the open.
An urgent groan escaped Hakkai as he lapped at Gojyo’s neck.
Gojyo increased the firmness of his strokes, “You know we can get caught any second.”
Hakkai moaned. “Yes,” hissed from him as he teethed his lover’s collar bone. Gods! Did he know that. Anyone -- anyone at all could walk through that outer door: an inn employee, another guest, a random woman, Goku or even Sanzo.
Hakkai cried out.
Gojyo loudly moaned as the body heat from Hakkai surrounded him and vibrations from that wonderful device coursed through him. He panted and softly spoke, “What we’re doing wouldn’t be appreciated.”
Hakkai pulled himself against his crimson salvage and set out to ravish that neck and chest.
Gojyo rolled his head and shoulders back --- freely opening his body to his lover. “We could get in serious trouble.”
Hakkai swirled his tongue around a pink nipple and took the nub into his mouth. Five fingers curled and dug into Gojyo’s back.
Gojyo grinned, “Oh my, lover, you have gotten nasty.”
Euphoria slammed into Hakkai. His teeth pressed into Gojyo’s skin. His stomach quaked, thighs quivered and he ran right into that soft white world of “little death”. He cried out.
Between Hakkai’s nearly animalistic passion, the new device and now his lover’s private dance -- Gojyo was shoved into that beautiful frisson moment. His body shook and quaked against emerald salvage. One fairly loud, “Oh dear god,” later and they were catching their breath against each other. Gojyo gasped, “You’re a freak. You hidden thrill seeker, you.”
Hakkai chuckled. You have no idea. You’re learning, but you have no idea.

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The Merciful Goddess sat on her throne and crossed her legs. She chuckled. “This will be rich.”
Jiroshin broke out in a sweat. He knew that evil little chuckle all too well.

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Clean, warm, and getting fed Gojyo and Hakkai sat at a table with Goku and Sanzo in the eatery.
Hakkai pulled out the map. His brow knitted as he drew his little red progression marking line. He hoped and prayed to deities he didn’t believe in that Sanzo never noticed the real early mistake. Ok, so we’re here. His eyebrow twitched. Huh, I didn’t realize that. Hmmm.

Gojyo placed his hand on Hakkai’s knee. “So, what’s the verdict?”
Hakkai drew an invisible line on the map with his finger. So, if we … no we’ll still be there. He sighed, drew his finger back to their current location and tried another route. No, that won’t work either. We still have to go though Taikgen.

Gojyo knitted his brow and pushed his hand gently against Hakkai’s knee. “Hey, I’m talking to you.”
Hakkai’s knee swayed as he backed his finger and tried another route. If we turn here and then go through here and then… no… still in Taikgen. Why does it have to be so large?

He had no desire what-so-ever to find himself in Taikgen again not with these guys.
Sanzo slapped his hand on the map. “Hakkai! It’s not that hard. Point the front wheels west and go.”
Hakkai blinked at Sanzo and smiled. “Yes, yes, I know.” He glanced at the map. Taikgen was still a bit off. No point in fretting over the inevitable. Most likely the people there didn’t know him any longer.
Taikgen was not the small village where he and Kanan lived. No, that semi-annihilated village was already behind them -- that village was east of their current location. Taikgen was another place Hakkai did not want to visit. A place Hakkai thought he’d left behind him when he and Kanan headed east to start a new life together.
A persona -- he was confident was behind him when Cho Gonou died and Cho Hakkai was born. Hakkai set out to shed himself of that life. He tried to push away the sad, dark person he was before and become the man he wanted to be. He was a completely different person now.
Completely different. Totally different. And, he didn’t need these four learning of certain things. He’d never live it down.
There was one person he wouldn’t mind seeing again, but he’d have to tape her mouth closed to keep his secrets.
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The eyes residing in the Great Kannon’s head watered as she tried to cap her very unladylike guffaws. “Where is she? We’re totally making this happen.”
Jiroshin rolled his eyes, “Whatever happened to west?”
“It’ll be there. The fun is in the trip not the destination.” She shrugged, “This builds character.”
“They have enough character. They have enough character to be a comic book.”
She sucked her teeth, “Manga.”
He rolled his eyes. Whatever.

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He pulled off his monocle and rubbed his eyes. He brought his hand up to his temples and rubbed them in small little circles.
Gojyo glanced quickly at Hakkai then cut his eyes to the map, “Headache?”
Hakkai sighed, “Beginnings of one, yes.” He opened his eyes and looked at his monocle. The glass magnified a little place on the map that wasn’t marked with any name. No little dot. Nonetheless, Hakkai knew what was there.
Taikgen was a ways away. If he was forced to go through there; he was going to make it pleasant for all of them. If he was going to have to endure Taikgen, they were making a stop off at Blanctic first.
And, what a great place that was!
He put the monocle on his face and grinned, “Bundle up gentlemen, were going to be hitting some higher elevations. This time of year it shouldn’t be too cold.”
Goku knitted his brow. “Higher elevations?”
Hakkai nodded, “Yes, Goku.”
“So, it will be colder.” Goku sighed.
“Yes. We’ll wear our cloaks; we should be fine.”
Gojyo looked at Hakuryuu, “It would be nice if you came with a roof.”
Hakuryuu peeped. A roof? Of course his jeep form had a roof. That General was out of his mind again. It was insane to use it. How, just how, would they be able to keep an eye out for aerial attacks if they had a roof? He was a versatile dragon, a powerful versatile dragon, he had a roof -- they’d never see it, but he had one. No doubt, the moment that roof was used, something would dive bomb them. They were keeping an overhead look-out while they were riding , right?
Surely, they weren’t that stupid.
One indignant huff later and Hakuryuu was in the air above the table.
Hakkai chuckled, “It seems you have upset him.”
Four wooden chairs scooted across a wooden floor and they piled into the jeep. One quick stop at the post office to leave a boxed up cast for a certain lady to pick up and---

To West

with a pit stop

in Blanctic

Goku leaned back and bundled his cloak around himself. Most of the trees had most of their fall plumage and the blue sky held thin strips of stratus clouds. He scanned the horizon and saw the mountains coming toward them, “Hey, Hakkai?”
Hakkai twisted the dial in his pocket. “Yes, Goku?”
Crimson eyes slid shut and a soft smile melted upon Gojyo’s face.
Goku spoke, “Is that where we’re going?” He pointed over Hakkai’s shoulder at a mountain.
Hakkai turned the massager off, “Yes, Goku. We’re going to a place called Blanctic.”
“Never heard of it.” Goku eyed the mountains.
Crimson eyes opened, “Will we be there tonight?”
Hakkai nearly blushed, “Yes, Gojyo, we will be there before nightfall.”
A blonde eyebrow lifted, “I don’t remember seeing that on the map.”
Hakkai glanced at Sanzo, “It’s not a town. It‘s a place.”
Violet eyes narrowed.
Gojyo leaned forward, “You’ve been here before.”
BUSTED! Hakkai blinked and focused intently on driving. He’d been here before several times; however, he never arrived in a vehicle with four wheels.
Gojyo laughed as he sat back, “One of these days, Green-eyes, one of these days.”
Stratus clouds gave way to cumulous clouds as the afternoon waned. Goku scanned his companions and knitted his brow. Why wasn’t anyone talking? He jerked his foot and tapped Gojyo’s.
“What?” Gojyo sucked his teeth.
Goku jerked his elbow into Gojyo’s ribs.
“What do you want, Monkey?”
“Nothing, Gods! Can’t you just ride in peace?”
Gojyo sat up and glared, “Quit crowding me.”
Goku sat up, “I wouldn’t be crowding you if you staid on your side of the jeep.”
Gojyo put his hands on his thighs, “I am on my side of the jeep!”
“Then, how can I be crowding you?!”
Sanzo shot off a round. Hakkai turned the dial -- oh yes… this thing had a lot of uses.
The back seat suddenly got quiet.
Hakkai turned the device off.
They turned down a small one-lane dirt road.
Sanzo looked at Hakkai, “Are we lost?”
Hakkai laughed, “No, we are not.”
Gojyo chuckled, “Oh, no, Sanzo, he knows exactly where we’re going. He just won’t tell anyone.”
Hakkai smirked. “I told you : Blanctic.”
Gojyo sucked his teeth, “What kind of place is this?”
“You’ll find out.” An exasperated sigh left him.
Sanzo gritted his teeth, “We don’t have time for field trips.”
Hakkai softly smiled, “Think about it, Sanzo. We know Kougaiji is with whomever we are suppose to deal with once we get west. They’ve been trying awfully hard to get that sutra.” He glanced at Sanzo, “So, we can deduce they need it for whatever they are trying to do. Thus, as long as you have that sutra, we have all the time we need. Literally, west will be there when we get there. Besides, if the demons haven’t been through here it is a roof before nightfall.”
A blonde eyebrow lifted. That was the nicest way anyone had ever told him to just shut up and play along. He just couldn‘t play along. He did not get good marks under the “plays well with others“ column for good reason. “What is this place?”
Hakkai brought jeep to a stop, put it in neutral and turned around, “You guys just won’t let anyone surprise you will you?” He sighed and smiled- oh-so-sweetly, “I, personally, am a little road weary. I’m a little tired of sleeping on lumpy beds; the hard dirt; cooking on hot rocks and fires; bouncing between candlelight and electricity; and I would like to be reminded a bit of the technology I am use to before I forget how to use it. How long has it been since either one of us has seen a TV? Gojyo’s place?”
Gojyo interjected, “Our place.”
Hakkai nodded, “Our place? Do you even remember your DVD collection?”
Gojyo smirked. That was one hell of a collection.
Hakkai continued. “So, would you please just let me do something nice for you.” With a tiny huff, he turned around and put Hakuryuu in gear. It was time to get there before he had to strangle someone. He softly chuckled. Would they like what was under that smile once they saw it?
Three thoroughly and politely chastised “children” sulked.
Goku looked over at Gojyo. “I remember that collection. You had like three movies that weren’t porn.”
Gojyo smirked, “Why buy crap? I had more than three that weren’t porn.”
“That’s right four,“ There were exactly four; Goku was sure of it. “Name them.”
Gojyo nodded and counted on his fingers, “ Five. Well, I had ’Eyes Wide Shut.’ “.
Sanzo sucked his teeth, “That’s porn.”
Gojyo rolled his eyes, “Hard R, thank you.”
Goku nodded, “Soft porn -- go on.”
Gojyo blinked, “Basic Instinct.”
Sanzo picked his ear, “Might as well be considered porn.”
Goku laughed.
Gojyo sighed, “Sex , Lies and Vid--”
The laughter muffled his sentence. Even Sanzo couldn’t cap his soft chuckle.
Gojyo scratched his head, “The Sports Illustrated --- never mind.”
Hakkai laughed, “There was one more. No, two more. Clockwork Orange and one other.”
Gojyo cut his eyes to the side of the road. “No, there wasn’t.”
Hakkai nodded, “Oh yes, the one, “ He paused, “You picked up for Goku.”
Golden eyes narrowed as they shifted to an uncomfortable looking water sprite.
Gojyo sucked his teeth, “Yeah, you got that right. For Goku. Just for Goku.”
Goku tilted his head, “Which one was that?”
Gojyo mumbled, “Shrek.”
Goku laughed, “If that was for me, why haven’t I seen it?”
Gojyo pulled his cloak over his face, “Are we there yet?”
“No, a few more hours.”
Goku elbowed Gojyo, “Why haven’t I seen it?”
“West. We went west. It’s probably still in the plastic.”
Hakkai laughed so hard he nearly swerved. Gojyo kept that DVD in the player; it was on repeat. Swearing that he had to check it before he gave it to Goku to ensure that it was of good quality. He never let Gojyo know about the ones he found under the mattress when he flipped the bedding: “Monsters Inc.” ; “The Little Mermaid.” ; “A Toy Story.”; “Dark Crystal.” and “Fern Gully.“
Of course they were hidden under the mattress, Gojyo had a reputation to protect.
Hakkai carried on a conversation with himself, “I flied? No, you falled.”
Gojyo kicked the back of Hakkai’s seat.
Sanzo glanced over, “I’m blind. I can see! It’s a miracle.”
Gojyo sucked his teeth and bundled himself up real tight in his cloak, “Shut up. For Goku. FOR GOKU!”
Hakkai glanced over at Sanzo, “You’ve seen Fern Gully?”
Sanzo nodded, “Temples have brats.” That was his story and he was sticking to it.
Hakkai nodded as he smirked. “Of course.” He didn’t believe that for a second.
Goku yelled, “How come I’ve never seen these things?!”
The fan flew!
It wasn’t long before Hakkai passed a very narrow turn off. He smiled at what looked like little more than a wide path. “Gojyo, how’s your hand?”
Gojyo looked at his Ace bandaged hand and flexed his fingers, “Just fine. No pain or anything.”
A mischievous grin spread across Hakkai’s face. He did a quick three-point turn, “Up for it Hakuryuu?”
One good “Kyu” later and they were off to what Gojyo and Goku were convinced was never intended for anything with four-wheels.
Hakkai grinned and laughed as they dashed through thick and thicket. They rolled over logs and barreled down hills.
Sanzo looked mildly amused even though he was trying desperately to look apathetic.
Gojyo and Goku bounced around in the back. Holding on to the jeep, their supplies, each other and whatever else they could grab as their world kept shifting. Sanzo was smart; he had his seatbelt on.
Hakuryuu cried out as they went airborne over what Hakkai would later insist was only a small hill and dip. They kicked up wave of mud and brush as they took a turn at what Hakkai would later insist was a perfectly prudent speed. Suddenly, Hakkai came to a stop as he looked at what was a about a 20 degree grade decline.
Gojyo’s eyes widened, “Don’t you do it.”
Goku looked over the edge of the jeep, “You’re insane!”
Sanzo feigned a yawn, but he was itching for Hakkai to just roll those wheels over edge.
Hakkai nearly cackled as he put it in reverse.
Gojyo and Goku started screaming during the running start.
Sanzo actually cracked a grin when his ass lifted slightly from the seat.
Hakkai smiled as the ground appeared to come right at them. This is what he would later refer to as “the good sized fall“.
They slammed down and started up another hill.
Gojyo grabbed Hakkai’s shoulders, “What the hell are you trying to do?”
Goku looked up the hill, and up, and up and still further up. “That’s not a hill; that’s a damn wall!”
Hakkai shifted gears and started the trek.
Sanzo was a bit nervous about this one.
They crested what Hakkai would later call “the hill” and before them sat one huge A-frame building.
Sanzo blinked, “This would be a ski resort.”
Goku looked around, “It looks deserted.”
Gojyo looked behind them; he was sure he left body parts back there. “If you took us through all of this and they aren’t open, I will severely ---”
Hakkai turned the dial. “What was that? I don‘t think I heard you correctly.” He grinned.
A weak, “Nothing,” lifted from Gojyo.
Hakkai sighed and turned off the device, “They aren’t closed; they are always open. This is the best time of year to visit. The summer visitors have left and the conditions aren’t right for the winter visitors.” Hakkai smiled as he scanned the building. It was exactly like he’d left it.
He was flooded with memories of ---
“Did you use to ski?” Goku asked as he pulled his pack out of the back.
Hakkai laughed, “Ski? Oh, no -- that would be insane.”
Gojyo knitted his brow as he tried to convince his legs they were on solid ground, “Did you use to work here?”
Hakkai shook his head, “No.” He wondered if the same couple still ran the place. He rolled his eyes, of course they would be. There should have been no doubt. They started this place and they would be buried here. They were an odd couple, and he wasn’t sure where they were from, but they most definitely weren’t locals.
He threw his pack over his shoulder and after Hakuryuu rested on his free shoulder, he began to walk to the main door. He paled as they stepped into the foyer. “Umm, you guys wait here. I’ll check us in.” He knew Ms. Marie would want to mention old times. He didn’t need to deal with that now, “We won’t be sleeping in this building anyway.”
Gojyo was happy to have a seat that didn’t have wheels. Goku was lost in the scenery.
Sanzo figured he could stand out of sight but within ear shot and find out what Hakkai was trying to hide.
Without verbal protests, Hakkai dropped his pack, took the card from Sanzo and headed straight through a set of glass doors that lead directly to the front desk.
Sanzo feigned interest in a photograph on the wall that became real interest in the photograph. It was the back of a man with long brown hair -- down about mid-back. He was wearing what looked like a black leather duster. His feet were about shoulder width apart and his left arm stretched out to the handle bars of a motorcycle. Not a Harley or a crotch-rocket, but a down and dirty dirt bike that had mud gripping tires with thread so deep that the grooves showed up in the picture. Although most of the bike was blocked by the man, Sanzo could tell it was impeccably clean as light reflected off the front shiny black fender. Sanzo forgot all about his planned eavesdropping; which was moot anyways, with the double entry way he couldn’t have heard anything.
Hakkai knocked three times on the polished wooden counter and tapped the bell twice.
A woman’s voice came from the back, “I know that ring. I’ll never forget that ring!” She hurried out front and grinned.
Hakuryuu perched on the counter.
Hakkai’s eyes lit up as he saw the woman that was at least 40 years his senior. Her hair was solidly gray and pulled up in a loose bun on top of her head. She shuffled as she hurried to give him a hug. Hakkai softly spoke, “Ms. Marie.” Her eyes we’re baby blue and her wrinkles made her face light up when she smiled. Those were the wrinkles of a woman that laughed and smiled on a minute by minute basis.
“Oh my god, Cho Gonou! How are you dear? Oh my! You’ve cut your hair off!” She grabbed his shoulders and gently shook him, “Let me look at you! My, you’ve grown into a fine young man.”
Hakkai smiled.
Her eyes went wide, “They helped you find it and you kept it. Didn‘t you?” She pinched his cheek. “Such a sweet smile.”
Hakkai nodded, “Yes, ma’am, I have.”
She eyed the small dragon, “My, that’s a strange creature, bless his heart. You didn’t have him before.”
“No, ma’am I didn’t.”
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Gojyo’s interest got peaked as he watched Sanzo get engrossed in the pictures. He stood and found one that had two women. They were standing with their backs toward each other and had their faces lifted. They both had long hair and it hung freely in the air between them. They were profile shots, but Gojyo could tell one had brown hair and green eyes while the other one had blue eyes and black hair. He smirked, that was an obvious dye job, but she was rather cute. Both women were quite attractive. He glanced at Goku as the younger man walked up to the picture.
Goku walked up to him, “Oh my god, that one.” He pointed, “looks just like Hakkai.”
Gojyo waited for the twist in his stomach evoked by hearing Hakkai‘s name. It was mild, but tolerable.
Sanzo quickly turned his attention that picture.
Gojyo softly spoke, “That’s Kanan.” He winced and turned from the picture. He’d never seen Kanan before, but he knew. She looked just like Hakkai; it had to be her. He spoke softly, “If he brought us here, then this place must be very special to him.”
Sanzo and Goku studied the picture. They’d been told stories and heard descriptions, but this is the first time they’d seen her.
The three of them shared a glance. No words were needed as they all came to the same conclusion. Hakkai hadn’t shared jack-shit about his life. The only reason they knew about the orphanage is because they just happen to stop at that town. Hakkai had separated himself from the group to handle whatever business he had with them and if that young nun hadn’t found them at that inn, they probably still wouldn’t have known what was going on. Speaking of which, they still didn’t have details. That orphanage obviously handled only younger kids.
Hakkai had to have gone to a different school after about sixth grade. They didn’t know where he went to school. They didn’t know how old he was when he met Kanan. They didn’t know when he and Kanan moved east to that village.
Gojyo knitted his brow. How could he have lived with him for three years, traveled with him this long, and care so deeply for a man he barely knew? That’s when it hit him. They knew Hakkai. Hakkai was around four years old. Gonou died at nineteen. Everything they’ve been through was Hakkai’s life. They knew all there was to know about Hakkai; they didn’t know Gonou.

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Ms. Marie looked over her shoulder, “Rupert! Rupert! You old man! Get on out here, Cho Gonou has come to pay us a visit.” She looked at him and spoke softly, “Don’t mind him, dear, he’s beginning to loose it upstairs.”
Rupert had been “beginning to loose it upstairs” for years now -- ever since Hakkai met him.
Rupert bellowed through the door, “I’m a comin. Don’t get yer knickers twisted!”
Ms. Marie looked around, “Where are those lovely girls you use to come here with?” She laughed, “I know you were sweet on them. You can’t hide that from an old woman like me. I’ve done seen it.”
Hakkai smiled and sighed, “One I’ve lost touch with and one has passed.”
That was the first time he saw Ms. Marie’s smile fade, “Oh, dear, I’m so sorry.” She hugged him. “If ya don’t mind me asking, which one?”
Hakkai blinked, “The green eyed one, Kanan.”
She hugged him again, “How long has it been, dear?” She knew the green-eyed one was the one Gonou was particularly sweet on.
“A little over three years, now.” He pressed his arms in her back. Almost four.

She whispered, “Not long after you left here, you doin’ alright?”
He nodded, “Some days are better than others.” Lately he’d found that the better days outweighed the others. He figured that was because of a certain special person in his life.
She pulled back from him, “Are you here with anybody today?” She looked around him and hoped to see the other lady. She’d hoped to see Ah’nesty.
“Yes ma’am.” Hakkai turned and pointed through the glass, ”Those four… gentlemen.” His stomach flipped when he realized they were looking at the pictures. He’d forgotten about that. He hoped none of them showed his face.
She blinked and patted his hand. “I don’t have my specs.” She shuffled to the desk and put on her glasses and blinked several times. “Which one you sweet on?”
Hakkai’s mouth dropped open. He’d shown no interest in men while he was here.
She laughed, “I wondered how long it would take you to figure it out. We knew ,dear. We’ve always known -- you’re the type to see beauty in all things. We knew you had that smile before you did. We knew you were sweet on those girls and we knew this.” He was always bright boy, but sometimes he didn’t see things that were right in front of his face.
Hakkai swallowed, “The red-haired one.”
She nodded, “He’s a fine looking man. Rupert! Come on already, he’s brought his beau!“
Rupert bellowed, “I’m comin’ woman! Keep yer griddle on!”
She looked at Hakkai, “Does he treat ya right?”
Hakkai nodded, “Yes, ma’am, very good.”
“Oh that’s nice.” She looked at the three men and knitted her brow, “Is that a Sanzo priest?”
Hakkai nodded, “Yes, ma’am.”
Rupert had finally come out of the back, “Well, I’ll be damned. I never thought I would see you with a priest on your own reckon.” Rupert was wearing his customary denim overalls with his red and black plaid shirt. He was wiping his hands with a red rag.
They knew Gonou didn’t like priests -- anyone that knew Gonou knew he didn’t like priests. They did not know why; at the time, neither did Gonou. In reality, Hakkai still didn’t really know; Tenpou was able to grab a lot of papers.
Hakkai nodded, “That’s not my beau.”
Rupert gave Hakkai a good hardy slap on the back, “Course not, boy, that there’s a priest. Priests don’t have beaus.”
Hakkai sighed. If you only knew.

Rupert continued, “And I know you ain’t with the child, so it’s got to be the half-breed.”
Hakkai nodded, “Yes, sir.”

Rupert smiled, “That’s real nice, Gonou, real nice.” He scanned Hakkai, “I see you finally took my advice and cut that hair. You were beginning to look like a woman. And that damn duster, nearly didn‘t recognize you without it. What happened? Decided you couldn‘t get the mud out but so many times?”
Hakkai nodded, “Yes, sir. Sometimes we just need a little time to grow up.”
He threw an arm over Hakkai’s shoulders, “Ain’t that the truth. Listen to me boy, ya never want to grow up all the way. Cuz that‘s when ya die.”
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Gojyo eyed another picture of a woman. She was standing on a rock with her arms out wide and one foot lifted out to the side. He glanced back at the picture with Kanan. This picture was the other woman although she now had hot-pink hair that was cut to her jaw and one blue eye and one violet eye.
Sanzo’s eyes narrowed as he looked at a picture. This picture was black and white. The man in the duster was standing out on the edge of a cliff overlooking at the mountains. He had his arms outstretched, his palms turned up and the bottom of the duster angled out. The man wore a fedora in this picture and had his head tilted up. The man in the dark leather stood out starkly against the snow covered landscape.
Goku softly spoke, “Hey, Sanzo, here’s that guy again.” Goku pointed at a picture of the duster wearing man. This time he was standing on a shiny floor and yet again his back was to the camera. He had one arm stretched out and up at an angle. The other arm was angled out and down. The fedora was rolling down his arm.
Right next to it, was a close up of just a hand with the fedora inverted in his fingers.
Sanzo knitted his brow, “That hand looks young.”
Gojyo looked back at the picture of the woman on the rock. He blinked, “Sixteen maybe seventeen.” Gojyo knew jailbait when he saw it.

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The Merciful Goddess moved her piece on the board. “Hey, Jiroshin,” She cackled, “Get a load of this shit.”
Jiroshin sighed, “Oh, what have you done now?” He eyed the board. “Are you that bored?”
Her laugh reverberated off the walls. She was that bored.
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Ms. Marie smiled, “You gonna be staying with us during the storm, right?”
Hakkai knitted his brow, “Storm?”
Rupert clapped the counter, “Yeah, boy, don’t ya listen to yer radio anymore?”
Hakkai smiled. They hadn’t used the radio in Hakuryuu since real early in the mission.
Ms. Marie waved Rupert off, “He’s a young man. He’s got more important things to do that just sit around and listen to the radio or the TV. Yes, dear, there’s gonna be a storm.”
Rupert nodded, “A big one too, boy.”
Hakkai tried to hide his elation at being “stuck” here for a while, “How big?”
Rupert pursed his lips, “According to Blue, “ Blue was Rupert’s “good hunting dog” that could hunt his way all the way to his bowl in the kitchen. Ever since he was a puppy that was the extent of the Blue’s hunting ability. “It’s gonna be pretty big like --”
“Rupert, that dogs arthritis can’t tell the weather no more than the paint on these walls.” Ms. Marie sighed, “According to the radio, you could be here for about a week.”
Hakkai couldn’t hide the huge smile that just had to wash across his face. “A week?” A week… a lone in this place with Gojyo. A week delayed in getting to Taikgen. A week … a wonderful luxurious week. A week of cooking in a real kitchen. A week of sleeping on a real bed. A week of bathing in real facilities. A week. A wonderful, wonderful week!
Ms. Marie smiled, “Yes, dear a week.”
He put the card on the counter, “Sign us up. Two cabins, please.”
She pushed the card away, “You’re money is no good here. It hasn’t been for a long time, now put that away before we get insulted.”
Hakkai blinked, “But, Ms. Marie, you haven’t anyone else here.”
Rupert shook Hakkai’s shoulder, “Now, don’t argue with the woman, Gonou. You won’t win, trust me.”
Truth be told, this was shaping up to be a very good year for them.
She smiled, “It’s not polite to argue with your elders.”
He nodded. Here it came. When Rupert and I came here….

Ms. Marie spoke as she grabbed some papers, “When Rupert and I came here, we didn’t know anyone….”
Hakkai smiled. We started this place…

“We started this place with just this front desk and one cabin.”

It was a dump, but …

“You two started coming up here and word spread. I know you had to walk it from Taikgen, you were only fourteen.”
Hakkai nodded, “Yes, that was before we got the bikes.“ They were thirteen, for some reason Ms. Marie always had fourteen in her mind. He knew she was going to continue, Slowly, we added

“…we added on and you and Ah’Nesty were here to help. You two never asked anything in return except for a place to get away.
Hakkai managed to not roll his eyes, Hide from St. Christopher’s is more like it. He blinked, You helped out…

“… when we got busy and when one of us was under the weather. Then that other girl started coming up here with you two, it was about that time I saw your smile.”
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Gojyo scanned another picture of the unknown woman this time she was sitting next to a man in long brown hair wearing a duster. She was looking at the camera; he was looking away. She had brown hair and two violet eyes. This was a close up of her face. He looked at her eyes. She had the same razor cut eyes that Gojyo did and her eyelashes were crimson. Contacts and hair dye. She looked about fifteen maybe sixteen. The bottom left corner of the picture revealed that she had her hand on his thigh. There was something about her face that was calling to him. Something seemed familiar to him.
Gojyo sighed and knitted his brow. He now knew why he never had to actually explain what a half-breed was to Hakkai. He’d assumed that Hakkai was just learned and simply knew. He now knew that he wasn’t the first half-breed in his lover’s life.
But! Why did she look familiar?
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This could go on for hours and it was always the same thing. The same words and they were spoken every time he tried to pay for anything. Hakkai glanced at his hands and worried his bottom lip, “Ms. Marie, I’ve changed my name.” He blinked.
She nodded, “Of course you have, dear.” She said that like it happened every day. Gonou could do no wrong in her eyes; anything he did had to have good reason behind it, “I can tell you are a completely different person now.” That was the quickest explanation she could reckon. “What is it now?”
He smiled. He was a completely different person now. “Hakkai. Cho Hakkai.”
Rupert nodded, “That’s a good name. A good strong name. Gonou was a sissy name.”
Hakkai chuckled. That was the first time Gonou was ever summarized as a sissy.
Ms. Marie handed Hakkai two keys, “Well, Hakkai, here are your cabins. I have you in thirty-nine and thirty-eight.”
Hakkai blinked, “No, Ms. Marie, that can’t be right.”
Rupert glared, “Young man, what have I told you about sassin’ your elders?”
Hakkai smiled, “If you’re sure.”
Ms. Marie smiled, “We’re sure, dear. Be sure to help yourself to anything you need. You know where the store is.”
He’d better; he helped stock it the first time and gear it up for the winter rush each year. “Yes, ma’am, I do.” Hakuryuu landed on his shoulder and as he walked back to his companions he looked at the keys. These were their best cabins.
These cabins had the best view and a nice courtyard between them. The guys are going to love this!
Ms. Marie looked at Rupert and whispered, “He’s got that same look in his eyes as when he started seeing Kanan.”
Rupert looked at her, “What?”
She sighed, “I said,” She spoke up, “He’s got that same look in his eyes…”
Rupert nodded, “As when he started seeing Kanan. Yeah, that boy’s done fallen in love.”
Hakkai sighed as he acted like he didn’t hear them. He had the same feeling inside too. He opened the door and eyes turned toward him. He noticed Gojyo moving to look at him and he slipped a hand in his pocket. He turned the dial.
Gojyo lost his ability to speak, but was able keep his eyes on Hakkai longer. This physical therapy was working.
Sanzo lifted an eyebrow. “You’ve got some expl ---”
Hakkai smiled, “There’s a storm coming. So, we’re all going to be here for a bit.”
Goku looked at his fingers, “A storm?”
Hakkai nodded, “Yes, Goku. Don’t worry we won’t be traveling. It will be nice and warm where we‘ll be.” He turned off the dial.
Gojyo gritted his teeth, “We’d better get there quick.” All this teasing was getting unbearable. When he got Hakkai alone, he was going to nail him to the freaking floor -- through their clothing if he had to. He sighed, but he was exhausted. He hadn’t slept well for a while and he didn’t sleep last night. Could he be too tired for sex and still be Sha Gojyo? He subtly nodded as he devised his simple plan. They’d grab a couple hours of sleep and then he’d jump Hakkai in the middle of the night. Good plan.

Hakuryuu transformed and they piled into the jeep. Hakkai headed for their cabins.
Sanzo knitted his brow, “We won’t be traveling, huh?” Wasn’t he the one that made those decisions? When did Hakkai get so bold as to interrupt and then make this choice?
Hakkai handed Sanzo the cabin key, “We travel only if it is safe to travel. This is suppose to be a sizable storm.”
Goku looked up at Hakkai, “Right now, I’m questioning your definition of safe.”
Hakkai sighed, “It was just a small hill with a small dip.” He laughed.
Much to Hakkai’s delight and Gojyo and Goku’s dismay , Hakkai remembered the path less traveled to their cabins. He couldn’t be faulted; it was the only way he remembered.
They believed him.
He hid his snicker.
Three “small hills”, four “sizeable drops” and one “small patch of mud” later, Gojyo was utterly convinced that Hakkai was not only a closet exhibitionist, but also a closet thrill seeker. The deeper he got under that smile the more he liked it.
Goku was actually too sick to eat.
They made it to the cabins and parted ways. Gojyo and Hakkai went to cabin thirty-eight and Sanzo and Goku went to cabin thirty-nine.
Hakkai stepped into the cabin and flipped on the lights.
The rustic, yet opulent to his eyes, view filled his line of vision. The cabin was essentially a one bedroom apartment with an area all-electric kitchen and a four-top breakfast nook. The floors in the dining and kitchen area were shiny, honey-stained hardwood. The living area had thick beige carpet. There was a black leather couch, a fire place and a faux “bear” rug. The rug was a very soft looking white. He smiled and dropped his pack at the door as he got lost in the site and wonderfulness of the technology.
He wasn’t one to complain, but he really needed this right now for several reasons. He needed to be reminded that the world contained more than outhouses, wells and campfires. With all the tension lately, he needed a bit of a comfort zone. Most importantly he needed a safe remote place where he could help Gojyo break that conditioned response. He was surprised at how quickly his therapy was working. That meant one of three things or all of them, probably a combination of all, Gojyo’s response wasn’t as deeply ingrained as originally thought. The brief time period without reinforcement was wearing it away. And/or three, Gojyo really wanted it to be changed.
The storm was just serendipity, and as long as the Merciful Goddess kept her mouth shut -- no one would be the wiser.
Hakkai softly sighed as he looked at the pictures on the wall: landscape photographs. He knew exactly who took each one of them : Ah’nesty. She was never far from her camera. He also knew exactly where each and everyone one of them was taken.
Gojyo tossed his pack on the floor and looked around. He shrugged, “It’s nice.” He stood behind Hakkai ,slipped an arm around his waist and kicked the door closed with his heel. He nipped Hakkai’s neck and whispered, “Hi there.”
Hakkai curled his fingers around his lover’s arm, “How are you feeling?”
Gojyo softly purred, “Do you really have to ask?” He ran his tongue from Hakkai ear to the collar of a green shirt that was about to hit the damn floor.
Hakkai chuckled as he turned his head opening his neck to his lover. “What’s my name?”
Gojyo stopped all movements.
Hakkai squeezed Gojyo’s arm, “We still have work to do.”
Gojyo pressed his forehead into Hakkai’s shoulder, “Please, don’t give up on me.”
Hakkai turned the dial. “I won’t.” He whispered, “Close your eyes.” He turned in Gojyo’s arms and cupped that beautiful face in his hands, “I need to see those eyes on me again. I want to stand here, be here, until I can look at you look at me.”
Gojyo pulled Hakkai to him and wrapped his arms tightly around the slightly smaller man. He remembered that sentence from a time when things were just beginning to get “complicated”. Kinky and complicated.
Hakkai whispered, “You know what this means?”
Gojyo whispered, “What do you have going on in your head?”
“Blindfold fun.” He turned off the dial.
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Meanwhile in 39

Sanzo opened the door and Goku barreled past him. He opened the bedroom door. He put his head in the toilet and proceeded to worship the porcelain gods. That was one rough trip in the back of the jeep. When did Hakkai get so dangerous?
Sanzo took a moment to take in the surroundings. This was nice, even he had to admit that. He dropped his pack, dropped the top of his robes and sat down on the couch. He lit a smoke and wondered if Hakkai was making dinner. He sure didn’t feel like cooking.
Goku stumbled into the living room area and flopped down on the couch. He put his head in Sanzo’s lap.
Sanzo looked down and sucked his teeth. “What do you think you are doing?”
Goku slowly closed his eyes, “I feel like shit.”
“If you get sick in here you are cleaning it up.”
Goku nodded as he rolled over on his side, “Wake me for dinner.”
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Konzen lifted an eyebrow, “Still think he’s old enough?”
Sanzo picked his ear. Not listening.

Konzen balled up a fist, “I said do you still think he’s old enough?”
Sanzo lifted an eyebrow, “Look, I’ve had enough of your shit. He’s not feeling well back off.”
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Meanwhile in 38 ….

Gojyo sighed and thought about the blindfold, “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea. Considering the hood and all.” Oh, but did it ever sound fun!
Hakkai leaned against Gojyo and whispered, “I won’t bind your hands or anything. You can feel free to slip it off. There’s a certain openness… a certain expansiveness that comes along with more than just having your eyes closed.”
Gojyo nodded, “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll give it a try, but no promises.”
Hakkai gently squeezed the crimson haired seducer, “One step at a time is all I’m asking.”
Gojyo buried his nose in Hakkai’s neck.
Hakkai patted Gojyo’s back, “We need to get supplies for dinner.”
They stepped outside and Hakkai scanned the sky, “That storm is going to hit tonight.”
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Sanzo snuffed out his cigarette in the ash tray on the end table and looked down at a sleeping Goku. The small man had his arms crossed over his chest and was gripping his shoulders. Sanzo sighed and lightly ran his fingers through light brown hair. Porcelain fingers danced over a golden coronet.
How could something so small contain something so dangerous?
Goku shifted and nestled into the couch and Sanzo’s lap. A very soft mutter that hinted at Sanzo’s name escaped him when he moved.
Sanzo blinked and draped an arm over Goku.
Goku wrapped his arms around Sanzo trapping the black silk arm to his chest.
The corners of Sanzo’s mouth curled up just a bit. He rolled his head back against the cushions of the couch. How could anything be wrong with this?
These were the kinds of moments Sanzo didn’t get nearly enough. Moments of peace and quiet in comfortable surroundings. Goku was simple. Nothing much bothered the free-thinking young man. Sanzo needed that. He needed something in his life to help un-complicate him.
Gojyo couldn’t provide that and Hakkai most certainly couldn’t provide that.
Here he was a priest of the highest order that had taken a monkey as a regular lover. Sanzo rolled his eyes that was as far from uncomplicated as one could get.
Porcelain eyelids slowly slid down and shielded violet from any further complications -- at least for a little while.
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Hakkai nearly giggled with glee as he turned on the electric stove.
Gojyo looked at the drip coffee pot, “I hope I remember how to do this. If it’s strong I don’t want to hear it.” Maybe, with a little coffee we can skip the few hours of sleep step. Good plan!

Hakkai chuckled as the sizzle of oil lifted to his ears. He glanced over his shoulder and smiled, “It’s been a while since we’ve shared a kitchen.”
Gojyo nodded as he carefully measured the coffee grounds. “Yeah, too long.”
Hakkai found the cutting board and began to slice the goodies for the stir fry.
Gojyo turned on the coffee pot and eyed it as it began to brew. He heard the assuring gurgle and looked over his shoulder at his green-eyed lover. “So, this is what it will kinda be like once we’re back east.”
Hakkai nodded, “Yes, I suppose it is.”
Gojyo turned around, leaned against the counter and crossed his arms in front of his chest, “So, who is the chick in the pictures?”
Hakkai felt the blood leave his face.
This was the reason for his apprehension over Taikgen. It had nothing to do with the town, but the memories there. It had nothing to do with the memories per se, but everything to do with the person he no longer was.
He softly spoke as he looked around the room, “These are landscapes.”
Gojyo nodded, “In the lobby. The pictures in the lobby.”
Hakkai skipped a cut on the squash, “There are lots of pictures in the lobby.”
Gojyo sighed. Hakkai was going to make him say it. “The woman in the picture with Kanan. Who is that?”
Hakkai set the knife down. He swallowed and debated changing the subject with a bit of mechanical intervention. “That would be Ah’nesty.”
“Honesty?”
“No, Ah’Nesty.”
Gojyo shrugged. He didn’t hear the difference. He did confirm one bit of information; that picture was of Kanan. “Who was Ah’nesty?”
Hakkai worried his lip, “A friend of mine from school.”
Gojyo stepped up behind his lover and whispered as he covered Hakkai’s hands with his own. “They” picked up the knife and “they” held the squash as “they” continued to cut under Gojyo’s very careful guidance; he was holding the knife in his non-dominant hand. “You wouldn’t be so guarded over a friend.”
Hakkai watched as “they” slowly and methodically cut the vegetable. Gojyo’s body next to his … his lover’s hands on his … the cabin -- this -- this is what he wanted. This is what his soul had cried for as it wanted its “little while”. This is what his heart screamed for. This is what his mind tried to deny him. He lost his ability to speak as he melted in Gojyo’s embrace.
Gojyo kissed his lover’s cheek, “Talk to me. I want to know. I want to know the man I hold in my arms.”
Hakkai smiled, “Like I told you she was a friend.” That was and wasn’t the truth.
Gojyo nodded, “Uh-huh. Just a friend.” He sighed, “C’mon you were more than friends, I can feel your shoulders tensing up.”
Hakkai worried his lip, “Well, we were maybe a little more.” He let out a huff, he wasn’t getting out of this. “Friends that… umm…shared a lot.”
Gojyo lifted an eyebrow, “What kind of sharing?”
Hakkai spoke quickly, “Friends with benefits.” That was and wasn’t the truth.
Gojyo almost fell to his knees. He grabbed his stomach and roared. He leaned on the far counter to keep from falling over, “Fuck buddies! You had a fuck buddy?”
Hakkai tried to hide his smirk, “Gojyo, don’t put it like that. It wasn’t exactly like that.” He scraped the squash into the pot.
“Oh my god! You don’t have fuck buddies, I do.” He laughed so hard his stomach hurt. “Well, did.”
Hakkai stirred the mixture on in the pan, “Gojyo, I’m telling you it’s not exactly like that.”
Gojyo blinked, “Wait a minute, that girl that was in the picture with Kanan.” He lifted an eyebrow, “Tell me, was she in the picture with Kanan?”
Hakkai gripped his forehead as nearly dropped the pan, “Gojyo! Oh my god!” The blush burned on his cheeks. He tilted the pan and perfectly cooked food slid into a glass serving bowl. “It wasn’t like that.” At least beyond his active adolescent dreams.
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Adult Gonou sighed, “Ahh, good times!”
Hakkai sighed, “You’re a letch.”
Gonou chuckled, “Women. Beautiful and soft. Rounded hips firm breasts.” He sighed again.
Hakkai shook his head. “So, sad. So very sad. Happiness is beyond your pants.”
Gonou jerked his hands in the air, “What has happened to you? We use to have so much fun!”
Hakkai blinked, “We had a death wish. We dove into dark destructive behavior to hide from the emptiness. I don’t need to remember that now.”
Gonou laughed, “They’re gonna love you when they find out.”
“They’re not going to find out!”
“You know you’re bound to run into someone that remembers me in Taikgen.”
“Not if I can help it. That will be a brief stay.”
Gonou raised his voice, “Bury me all you want. I’m still a part of you!”
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Gojyo shrugged as he got four large plates and one small plate out of a cabinet. “Well you’ve got that rule thing with us. I just wondered where that came from and figured, well , you know.”
Hakkai sighed as he carried the food to the table. “That rule is something just for you.”
Tenpou did his best to look innocent -- completely and totally innocent. He had nothing to do with Hakkai having that rule; why should any one even think such? Yep, trying real hard to look innocent and the harder he tried the more guilty he looked.
Gojyo carried the napkins to the table, “So can you explain this rule to me. What’s the difference?”
Kenren sat on the edge of his tree limb. He’d been itching to know this.
Tenpou rolled his eyes. Hakkai saw it clearly. Konzen helped him come up with it. Kenren seemed to understand it. What was this guy’s issue?
Hakkai smiled as he put the glasses on the table, “Well, Gojyo,” He shrugged, “I can’t compete with a woman. Everything is different with a woman; a totally different set of needs, feelings and sensations.”
Kenren blinked. Could it really be that simple? Jeez! Why hadn’t he figured that one out on his own? He couldn’t believe he went centuries without understanding that!
Gojyo nodded, “Ok, I can appreciate that.” He knitted his brow as he looked at Hakkai’s hand, “Why are we eating with those?”
Hakkai looked at the silverware in his hand, “Because that is what is here.”
“Oh. That makes sense.” Gojyo shrugged.
Hakkai looked at the table and smiled, “Please, light the candles; I’m going to get the others.”
Gojyo sat down at the table as Hakkai stepped from the cabin. He scanned the place settings. He stood, dimmed the lights and sat back down. It was nice to be home -- finally home.
Hakkai lightly knocked on the door as a shiver ran down his back. Should have grabbed the cloak.

Violet eyes opened. Damn it! Whoever that was -- was going to wake Goku. He sighed as he gently slid his arm from the young man. He cautiously lifted Goku’s head and carefully sat it down on the couch. He walked to the door.
Hakkai smiled, “Dinner is ready; are you joining us?”
Sanzo nodded. How long have I been asleep? “Yes. The monkey is asleep. I’ll wake him and be there.” Sanzo pulled out the fan as he closed the door.
The moment the door was closed the fan was back where it originated. He walked over to Goku and gently shook him, “Goku?”
A weary, “Huh?” lifted as sleepy eyes blinked.
“You feel well enough to eat?”
Goku nodded and sat up.
Sanzo knitted his brow. That had to be the calmest way Goku had ever reacted to dinner.
Goku stood and rubbed his eyes. “Hakkai cook it?”
Sanzo nodded, “Of course.”
Goku nodded as he shuffled toward the door, “Thanks for waking me.”
Sanzo softly shook his head and lifted his robes over his shoulders. “No problem.” Something was off with Goku. He knew it -- he couldn’t place it, but he knew it.
As soon as they were outside Goku looked up at the dark sky, “It’s cold.”
Sanzo nodded, “We’re on a mountain and it is autumn ; although, this seems colder than seasonal.”
Goku sighed, “Do you think it is the storm?”
The blonde shrugged, “It might be.”
Goku knocked on the door.
Gojyo opened it, “Hey! It’s the monk and the monkey! What brings you here? “ He laughed.
Goku smirked.
Sanzo sucked his teeth.
They sat at the table and Goku looked at Hakkai, “This is nice, thanks.”
Hakkai smiled, “I had to make sure everyone ate, even if we aren’t camping.”
As they ate Hakkai kept the dial tucked away in his pocket and was ready every time Gojyo glanced at him. Those glances were coming with more frequency. Hakkai smiled, this was most definitely working.
Gojyo was so wound up he thought he was going to bend his fork. He knew he was bending something at some point and that something had green-eyes. Yep, he had a plan. Few hours of sleep and he was jumping that man. Nailing him right to the bed.
There in laid a big difference between Hakkai and Gojyo. Hakkai’s plans were elaborate, detailed and convoluted. Gojyo’s had about two steps:

1) get naked

2) get laid
or
1) draw weapon

2) kill something
….and if he was lucky he got to implement them both in one day. Hakkai wasn’t the only one that always got what he wanted.
Dinner passed with an eerie peacefulness in the air.
At this point everyone knew something was off with Goku -- they just didn’t remember what.
Hakkai saw them to the door. He glanced at Sanzo, “If Goku gets to feeling worse, don’t hesitate to get me.”
Gojyo gritted his teeth. He’d better hesitate and knock real fucking loud.

Sanzo nodded.
Goku yawned and wiped his eyes, “I’m fine now that I’m not riding down a cliff.”
Goku didn’t seem fine --- not at all.
Hakkai sighed. “It was a sizable drop.” He wouldn’t really call it a cliff. A cliff implies a sheer face and this did have a declining slope ,granted, a sharp slope, but a slope nevertheless.
Goku muttered as he closed the door, “Which one? There were like a gazillion of them.”
Hakkai made his way to the table and began to clear it.
Gojyo stepped up behind him, “The dishes can wait. There’s something I want.”
Hakkai laughed, “And you always get what you want.”
Gojyo nipped at Hakkai’s ear.
Hakkai continued, “In due time.”
“The time is now; I can’t take anymore.”
Hakkai looked at the table. “Oh please, I haven’t even begun to tease.“
Gojyo softly whimpered in Hakkai’s ear. “Lesnan, please.”
Emerald eyes looked at the table blinked; the dishes could wait. They weren’t going anywhere.
Every so often one has to ask themselves: when they look back on their lives will they be remembering the good times by how many times the sink contained no dirty dishes or will it be special moments with special friends?
Hakkai turned on the dial and chuckled.
Gojyo’s body shook against his lover’s back and he grunted, “So wrong!” His erection was screaming in his pants and straining against the fabric.
Hakkai turned in his lover’s arms and took a brief moment to look into those crimson orbs, “What’s my name?”
“Hak---”, was the partial answer. Gojyo cut his eyes to a green clad shoulder.
Hakkai smirked, “Three things.”
Gojyo nodded.
“Get the bag, get in your boxers and get on the couch.”
Gojyo lifted an eyebrow. He was liking this forward Hakkai. “The bag?”
Hakkai nodded as he sat slipped from those strong arms, “Yes, our bag.”
A lump formed in Gojyo’s throat. The red leather bag. Their bag. The one he was special enough to see inside. He softly spoke, “Our bag.“ The one that had the zipper that let him in. Gojyo didn’t need to be told again. He dashed off to the packs.
Hakkai went into the kitchen. He grabbed a few items and put them in a bowl, flipped off the lights and headed for the living room. He sat the bowl on an end table and put some logs on the fire. “Hakuryuu, if you please.”
Hakuryuu was curled up in the front bay window, he lifted his head and flapped over to the fire place. A few small fireballs later and there was a beautiful fire going.
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Sanzo sat up on one elbow and looked at a sleeping Goku. Brown hair and a tanned face poked out around sage sheets and a dark brown quilt. He’d gone right to sleep. Blonde eyebrows knitted. They way Goku insisted on sleeping in the bed, which in Sanzo’s mind was never in question, indicated the man-child carried fears of being left; or rather, abandoned.
Goku was sleeping on his side with one arm tucked under his chin and one hand twisted into Sanzo’s pajama shirt. The brunette held on like he was afraid the blonde was leaving.
Sanzo sighed. Where would I go?

Goku’s legs were slightly bent and he was curling in toward his sun -- facing the sun. Trying to suck up every last bit of warmth and feel every single ray.
His sun.
Porcelain fingers wrapped over Goku’s forehead. His hands weren’t as trained as Hakkai’s, but Goku didn’t seem to have a fever.
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Gojyo emerged from the bedroom. The hell with his plan -- it was shit. This was a much better plan and that plan was -- whatever Hakkai wanted. Good plan. He had his Ace bandage removed, their bag in one hand and was wearing only his green silk boxers. He felt like a kid on a gift-giving holiday. “What’s in the bowl?”
Hakkai smirked, “You’ll find out. C‘mere” He patted a seat cushion next to him.

Gojyo didn’t need to be told twice, he quickly closed the distance between himself and his lover. He sat down and Hakkai lifted off the couch and straddled his legs.
Green eyes went soft, “You left it there.” He softly moaned as the vibrations traveled through the fabrics.
Gojyo nodded as he went after Hakkai’s neck, “You said to not remove it. See, I listen sometimes.” He wormed a hand between them and popped the clasps on the green shirt.
Hakkai rolled his shoulders back and the fabric fell from him. His monocle clinked against the end table and his head band was slipped off.
Gojyo softly smiled as the firelight drew a ruddy line on Hakkai’s skin, “Did you notice what you just did?”
Hakkai knitted his brow, “What?”
“You did that --- all of this --- with no reservation, none what so ever. You’ve come a long way.” Gojyo inched his face forward and walked kisses to a pink nipple.
Long slender fingers traveled into long crimson locks and he arched his back pulling his lover closer. He breathlessly spoke, “You forgot something.”
Gojyo whispered and his lips brushed against a now firm nipple, “What’s that?”
Hakkai gently pulled Gojyo’s headband over his eyes, “That.”
A soft, “Mmmm,” left Gojyo as his hands pressed into his lover’s back.
Hakkai straightened his arms and pulled his lover’s lips from his body. He cradled Gojyo’s face in his hands. With their lips so close they nearly tapped, he whispered, “There is only one thing I want to do tonight.”
Gojyo smiled in his world of comfortable darkness, “What’s that?”
“Make you feel good.” He pushed his lips against his lover’s and tongues danced. Hakkai worked his hand between them and removed the pad from Gojyo’s boxers. Heads tilted and tongues still danced. He placed the pad on couch beside them. Hakkai took the red-head’s bottom lip between his teeth. He turned the dial off and put the controller next to the pad. The fire popped. Lips met again. He rocked his hips against his lover’s and moaned as their fabric separated arousals met. Heads tilted again and tongues still danced. With a soft moan the green-eyed man broke the kiss and tilted crimson locks back. He teethed Gojyo’s jaw and lapped at the soft throat, “I’ve missed this.”
Gojyo moaned in agreement as his fingers danced around Hakkai’s waist and began working the button on those khaki pants.
Hakkai walked kisses along Gojyo’s collar bone, “I’ve missed your scent.” He ran his tongue across his lover’s shoulder. A pink tongue remained extended and pointed as it found its way to a ruddy nipple. “I’ve missed your touch.” He swirled his tongue around that nipple and took it into his mouth. He gently suckled.
A quiet jagged breath escaped Gojyo as his brow softly knitted. A zip was heard as he pulled open Hakkai’s pants. He still liked that sound.
A pointed pink tongue traveled to a neglected nipple, “I’ve miss your moans.”
Gojyo blinked under the blindfold. His fingers danced into short locks for two reasons. One he wanted to feel that short silky hair under his fingers; and two, he needed to make sure this was Hakkai. Confident that these words were coming from his lover he lifted his hips and pushed himself against the slightly shorter man.
Hakkai softy whimpered and breathlessly spoke, “Tactilely speaking, I have missed most of all the feel of your skin under my tongue.” He lapped at Gojyo’s nipple and took the firm bud into his mouth.
Gojyo softly spoke, “Stop.”
Hakkai froze, “What’s wrong?”
He chuckled, “What’s gotten into you? First the shower room and now all of this? You aren’t normally this amorous.”
Hakkai sat back on Gojyo’s thighs. He looked nearly deflated, “You don’t like me salacious?”
Gojyo smirked, “Now, I didn’t say that. This is you sans gê
ne and trust me, I like it.” He softly chuckled, “I told you before. I like you. All of you: past, present and future.” He hoped Hakkai would get the hint and open up a bit about this place. Sans gê
ne? Yeah, I’ve been around him too much and reading too damn much.

Hakkai got the hint and chose to ignore it, “You’ve gotten to me, Gojyo. You’ve gotten under my skin, in my mind, in my heart and…,” He stood to remove his pants and leaned in to place a soft kiss on Gojyo’s lips, “in my soul.”
Gojyo whispered, “Ensoulled.”
Hakkai tugged on Gojyo’s hips encouraging the man to shift down on the seat, “Ensoulled -- fully and completely.” He straddled his lover’s thighs again and leaned over. He plucked a piece of fruit from the bowl.
Gojyo felt something cold and wet against his lips and a delicately sweet scent lifted into his nose. Lips parted, teeth parted and the fruit was nudged into a wet warm cavern. “Passion fruit.”
Hakkai smiled as he quickly licked his index finger, “You like?”
“Actually, I’m allergic.”
Green eyes went wide, “What?”
Gojyo laughed, “Kidding.”
Emerald eyes narrowed, “You’re going to pay for that.”
Gojyo rolled his head back, “Hurt me, beat me, make me do bad things.”
Hakkai dove after the exposed throat, “You don’t need any help with doing bad things. Doing very good -- bad things.” He’s making jokes. This is good. This is showing improvement. Or is this deflecting discomfort with humor?

Either way, it was a sign that Gojyo was getting back to being Gojyo.
He ran his hands up Hakkai’s now exposed thighs, “I don’t need any help doing good things either.”
Hakkai chuckled as Gojyo’s fingers slid under the legs of his boxers, “Oh, well if you can do it all alone, then I’ll be off to bed.”
“You’re not going anywhere, Lover.”
“You’re right. I’m not going anywhere.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sanzo sighed and looked up at the exposed beam ceiling. Did that monkey think they were coming up this mountain to leave him in some cave? Stupid monkey. Porcelain fingers wrapped around a small shoulder, “Monkey.”
Goku groaned.
“Monkey!”
A very weary, “Yes.” came from Goku. Golden eyes remained closed.
“We’re not leaving you here.”
Goku nodded his head and something completely incomprehensible came from his mouth.
Blonde eyebrows knitted, “I’m not leaving.”
“I…k..ow….that. Wh..re wou…..u…go?”
Sanzo sighed.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Konzen sucked his teeth. “What did I tell you?”
“He’s sick.”
Long blonde hair shook as a purple clad man nodded, “Yeah, sick. Sick is the word I would use too.”
Violet eyes narrowed under short blonde bangs, “If you have something to say, come out and say it.”
“I’ve said it. You just won’t abide by it.”
Sanzo lifted an eyebrow, “Conformity is over-rated.”
Konzen blinked. He’d heard something similar once.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hakkai held a grape in three fingers and brushed it against Gojyo’s lips.
A pink tongue pointed and moved as it followed the sensation.
Hakkai grinned as he pulled the grape away.
Gojyo leaned forward chasing the grape.
Hakkai chuckled as he lead Gojyo right to his lips. He kissed his lover back down toward the cushion. He broke the kiss and whispered, “What’s my name?”
Gojyo smirked, “Tigon.”
Hakkai chuckled, “Alright, Liger.” He pressed the cool grape to warm pink lips and lightly traced his fingernail down Gojyo’s chin as his lover took the grape.
He plucked another one and rolled it across his lover’s cheek, over the bridge of his nose and down the length of it.
Large tan hands captured a light tan one. Gojyo took the grape from Hakkai and with a little help from his friend and lover pressed the grape against Hakkai’s lips.
Hakkai parted his teeth and let the grape fall into his mouth. When he closed his lips he captured a fingertip.
Gojyo smiled as Hakkai paid careful oral attention to each and every finger. One by one each received gentle kisses and light nips.
Gojyo sighed, “Lover, I can’t take it anymore.”
Hakkai chuckled. He hadn’t even gotten to the good teasing yet. This was all the gearing up. “Oh my.”
Gojyo sucked his teeth, “Tell me about Ah’Nesty.”
Hakkai blinked and sighed, “Gojyo, why? That was so long ago and she’s not here; what does it matter now?. Do you really want to talk now?”
Gojyo smirked, “No. Not at all, but I will if I have to. I want to know you.”
“You do know me, Gojyo.”
“Do I really? Tell me about your life.”
Hakkai sighed, “Well just over three years ago, I was born.”
Gojyo sighed, “No, your life before that.”
Hakkai smiled, “I was conceived in a sea of blood. Shortly thereafter, A wonderful man found me face down in mud. I remember looking at him and silently begging for death.”
Gojyo softly spoke, “He was selfish and didn’t let you die.”
Hakkai nodded. “Yeah, he wouldn’t kill me.” Hakkai pulled another piece of fruit from the bowl and quickly brushed it across Gojyo’s lips, “Everything went black and I woke up in a very ordinary heaven. Labor pains screamed across my stomach. I still have the scar; I‘ll have to show you it one day.”
Gojyo smirked as he felt for Hakkai’s hand, “That’s not what you said then.”
Hakkai took the piece of apple from Gojyo’s fingers, “I was mistaken then. I was mistaken about a lot of things.” He kissed Gojyo lightly on the cheek, “I wasn’t mistaken about the wonderful man.” Hakkai sat back on Gojyo’s thighs and looked at the blindfolded man. “You’re not into this tonight, are you?”
Gojyo smiled, “I’m in to it alright.”
“You sure?”
Gojyo carried his hands over his lover’s shoulders, curled his fingers around that soft neck and coaxed his lover’s head back. He ran his tongue from the center of Hakkai’s collar bone to his chin. Blindfolded or not, Gojyo knew a lover’s body. Especially this lover’s body . “Yes, I’m sure. I‘ll like to be deeper into it.” Gojyo meant that two ways.
“That can be arranged.“ Hakkai reached over and opened their bag. He pulled out a small tube and sat it on the couch.
Gojyo hissed as Hakkai began a slow -- agonizingly slow -- march of kisses down his body. He lifted his hips as his lover slipped the silk away from him and cried out when he was engulfed in wet warmth.
Hakkai conjured a small ball of deep crimson chi. He backed his head and listened as the chi crackled against his lover’s wet member.
Gojyo’s fingers gripped into the leather cushion and he clenched his teeth. “Lover, please!”
Hakkai pressed a light kiss in Gojyo’s thigh, “What’s my name?”
In his blindfolded darkness, Gojyo saw a distant pair of emerald eyes. He smiled, “Hak--”
Hakkai saw the soft jerk of Gojyo stomach and lightly kissed his lover’s hip, “We’ll get there. We’ll get there.”
Gojyo took in a sharp breath as that chi continued to electrify him. “Please! You’ve been teasing me all day. Please!”
Hakkai heard the urgency in his lover’s voice and decided it just wasn’t urgent enough. He carried that chi ball up one side of Gojyo’s chest and down the other.
Gojyo squeezed his eyes closed and released a vowel laden yell. His body began to slightly shake as he barely capped his urge whip that blindfold off and pounce.
Hakkai held the ball of chi just off the tip of Gojyo’s cock and pushed it into his lover’s body.
When the chi hit that special spot deep inside Gojyo’s body the crimson haired Don Juan was propelled into the throes of a releaseless orgasm. His hips jerked from the couch.
Hakkai smiled and removed his boxers. As Gojyo trembled and panted under the waves of fading euphoria, Hakkai popped the cap on the tube of lubricant. He’d hoped the chi play would have evoked his name from his lover’s lips. He supposed he still had more work to do, but he’d do it and he’d keep doing it until everything was once again perfect inside his lover. For anything else was fundamentally unacceptable.
Gojyo hissed as cool slicked fingers wrapped around him. His hands traveled up Hakkai’s arms and wrapped around slender biceps. Hakkai slowly stood and knelt high over Gojyo’s thighs. He tilted his head forward and their foreheads touched, “Gojyo?”
“Yes?”
“Relax and hang on.” Hakkai pushed his lips against Gojyo’s and slammed his hips down; quickly taking his lover. Searing heat jolted through him as his lover filled his inner most depths.
Gojyo’s mind finally recovered from a whiteout . He smiled as he felt Hakkai stiffen and then relax. In his mind’s eye he saw those shoulders soften, that chest tightening, those eyes-- he lifted an eyebrow. This was totally unfair! He’d never had Hakkai like this! Here they were doing something different and he couldn’t watch! Oh, that sneaky bastard was going to pay for this.
Hakkai began to slowly travel along Gojyo’s length and pulled his lover’s face into his chest. Light tan arms wrapped tightly around tan shoulders. Moving in a slow narrow elliptical trajectory, Hakkai suddenly shook. Gojyo’s cock had just hit that special spot deep inside of him. Hakkai cried out. This trip through euphoria was not without release for him. His body trembled and danced around his lover.
Gojyo’s eyes rolled back as he felt Hakkai’s warm seed wash against his stomach. He didn’t even let Hakkai finish cumming before he spoke, “Relax and hang on.”
Ten fingernails ran across Gojyo’s shoulders and ten fingers gripped thick biceps.
Gojyo smiled as Hakkai screamed his name. They were most definitely doing this again, without a blindfold as soon as possible.
Hakkai wasn’t moving slowly anymore. Fiercely rejuvenated, he bounced against Gojyo.
Gojyo felt himself getting shoved into and pulled from the couch. His head rocked back and forth. Hakkai was going nuts and he couldn’t see it! This was so wrong! Oh, but he could feel it! He could feel his lover’s body slamming into him and tightening and relaxing around him. He could feel Hakkai’s fingernails dig into his skin and sweat flinging against his chest. And, he could hear his lover. He could hear the urgent pants, the deep moans and raw pleas.
It was still utterly unfair.
Salacious frenzied cries filled the air. The couch nearly broke.
Hakkai suddenly stopped and leaned against Gojyo. He kissed and nipped at his lover as he panted, “What’s my name?”
Gojyo lifted an eyebrow. That wasn’t the normally soft inquisitive tone with which that question had been asked before. Hakkai’s voice dropped in register -- that was a demand for information. That was claim on a stake. He softly spoke, “Hak--.”
Hakkai began to slowly move again.
Gojyo felt a sudden tightness around him as Hakkai’s arms slid through his hands. Hakkai was barely moving but the tension was nearly unbearable. He couldn’t take it anymore. He whipped his head forward several times and shook himself free of the blindfold. His breath left him as the sight before him filled his senses.
Hakkai was arched backward nearly in half. The flames from the fire place lapped at the air above light tan shoulders. Brunette hair swayed freely in the air as his head was rolled back. Light tan skin took on a yellow-orange hue as the firelight reflected off the sweat running down the clean lines that comprised Hakkai’s torso.
Their arms were extend toward each other and fingers wrapped around corresponding forearms. A crimson haired man sat on a black leather couch as the brunette man arched backward moving slowly along his lover’s length.
Hakkai’s vision was filled with an inverted fire.
Gojyo’s vision was filled with passion -- artistic, graceful passion. He gasped, “Hakkai.” The word left him without fanfare. It escaped as a mere thought placed upon breath.
Hakkai slowly rolled his head back and locked onto crimson eyes.
Gojyo’s senses were filled with stunning emerald eyes that were overflowing with passion, raw lust and affection. Those emerald eyes sank into him and his eyes slammed shut. His mind flashed white as he jerked and rocked under his lover.
Crimson and Emerald amalgamated again -- feeling almost like the first time.
Hakkai pressed his lips against his lover’s as he felt Gojyo twitching inside of him. He nearly wished for the blindfold as he did not want Crimson to see the tears softly falling. Tears of relief. Tears of joy and tears evoked by overwhelming carnal sensations.
Gojyo broke the kiss and softly knitted his brow. He cupped Hakkai’s face in his hands and gently stroked the wet drops away with his thumbs, “Lover? Are you hurting?”
Emerald soft shook his head and barely whispered, “You said my name.” He smiled and collapsed into his crimson salvage.
Gojyo blinked at the fire and collapsed into his emerald salvage. He softly whispered, “Hakkai.”
Well, what do you know, Gojyo was still special enough to cause and stop tears. Pink lips on a tan face slowly curled in to a soft smile, “No fair turning on the waterworks.”
Hakkai sniffled as he squeezed his lover, “And why is that?”
“It makes me want to make you feel better.”
“Impossible. You can’t possibly make me feel any better than I do now.”
“Yes, I can.” He pulled space between then and once again dove into emerald orbs without any twist or reservation, “You only got one.” He wrapped his fingers around Hakkai’s arousal and began to stroke.
Emerald eyes rolled back and soft breaths transitioned into urgent pants.
Gojyo fervently pleasured his lover and watched as passion emblazoned itself upon Hakkai’s face and body.
Hakkai suddenly jerked and a lustful cry began an é
lan crescendo. Ecstasy liberated itself from him.
Gojyo smiled as he once again felt the heat of his lover’s inner essence against his skin.
Barely focused emerald eyes that screamed of satiated desires found sparking crimson. “I have been corrected.”
Gojyo chuckled, “I thought you might be.”
Gojyo slowly shifted and without breaking their physical union, he rested upon his back.
Hakkai curled his arms around Gojyo’s shoulders and tucked his knees up.
Gojyo drew invisible lines in the slippery dampness on Hakkai’s back.
There -- surrounded by the firelight and serenaded the popping and crackling of the fire, their breathing eventually calmed.
Gojyo blinked at the flames, “This feels so incredibly comfortable.”
Hakkai smiled as the vibrations of his lover’s voice shuddered through him. “I’m glad that wondering is more distracting than having.”
Gojyo nodded as he ran his fingers through soft brunette locks, “So, who was she?”
Hakkai blinked. There was no getting around this. He took in a soft breath as sap popped in a log, “Ya know how every guy has the shouldn’t have been, should have been and thank the powers that be that it was?”
Gojyo nodded, “Yeah.”
“I ,thankfully, have never had a shouldn’t have been. Ah’nesty was my should have been.”
Gojyo nodded, “I see.” His soul soared over being special enough -- trusted enough -- to see under that smile. “You didn’t want a commitment, huh?”
“No, I think it was she that didn’t want it. In a way, I’m glad it wasn’t. Are you familiar with chaos theory?”
Gojyo nodded his head, “A little. A butterfly and some dumb shit, then you get a storm.”
Hakkai nodded as flames reflected on the hearth. “Well, if that butterfly had flapped its wings, I would have never had Kanan; thus, I would have never had you.”
Gojyo blinked as the realization hit him, when one boils it down -- Kanan had to die. She had to suffer and Hakkai had to suffer for this beautiful union to occur. A series or horrid events had to be endured for something so right.
Sequential cascading tragedies converged into Gojyo walking alone that night and Hakkai face down in mud. If those butterflies had not flapped their wings then this would never have come to be.
A silence fell upon them as wood crackled and a small dragon softly snored near a window.
Gojyo swallowed, “But, you knew them at the same time.” Why was it that the more he found out the less he understood?
Hakkai muttered, “I …ew….N….fi st.”
Gojyo lifted an eyebrow. His lover was asleep. Clarification on that would have to wait until morning. The shades on crimson widows were slowly drawn.
“Hakkai, I love you.”
“I love you too, Gojyo.”
Gojyo smirked as a single tear escaped him, That little faker. He wasn’t asleep.

They’d both managed to forget the fading bruises on Gojyo’s body -- for a little while.
Emerald eyes slowly opened and a tear drop sparkled in the firelight as it rested at the bridge of his nose. Shades were slowly drawn.
Two entangled souls slept as the fire warmed the room. Converging é
lan vital became tangible in the air.

Never underestimate the power

of the convergence of

stubbornness to heal,

cunning to work tactics

and

love

to make it blossom.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Author’s suggestion: cue up Evanescence’s “All of Me”

or listen to nothing]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Evening became thick of night and the storm encroached. Upper atmosphere frigid air was pushed downward. A squall line scraped the mountains and began to stall.

Small feet moved. A window to the world was sought out.

Fear set in.

It was so quiet.

“ .”

Goku opened his mouth to scream and he could not hear it. He could feel it in his throat, but he could not hear it. He could feel it in his mouth, but he could not hear it. He could not even hear it in his own head.

It was so quiet.

“ n .”
He looked out and there was nothing but blanch white. A cursed blanket had been cast upon everything. Tauntingly fluffy and soft, yet utterly evil.

“ an .”

It was so quiet.
Not the quiet that occurs during lulls in conversation, but it was starkly silent. It was as if something was locking up all of the sound. He couldn’t even hear his own breathing. He couldn’t hear the blood in his own ears. He couldn’t hear the white noise that typically comes with quietness. It was utterly soundless.

“ an o.”
It was so quiet.
The cold. The frigid cold was not the problem. The metal collar around his neck was not the problem. The cold cruel cuffs around his wrists were not the problem. The shackles around his ankles were not the problem. The problem was that when he moved the chains did not clank.
“ anzo.”
It was so quiet.
Silence. A heavy silence. A silence that was palpable. A silence that was tangible. A silence that moved around him -- surrounding him --- engulfing him. He stood circumjacent to soundlessness. He felt it pull him down.
He tried to scream and again a void escaped his straining vocal cords. He felt himself going hoarse, but only heard silence.
“Sanzo.”
It was so quiet.
He walked to the earthen bars that striped his world and watched as the sound keepers kept falling. The sound stealers were back. The robbers of life were coming!
“Sanzo.”
“ ?”
It was so quiet.
They kept falling. He stretched out his hand to keep them from landing and they fluttered just beyond his fingertips. He knew if he could just touch them then they would die, but they were just beyond him. Pain ran through his shoulders as he tried to squeeze between the bars. The cuff around his neck tried to cut off his air -- pulling … stretching…pulling … stretching all in vain. Cursed sound stealers still fluttered down.
“Sanzo.”
“ a ?”
It was so quiet.
He held up his finger, his index finger. And the little bird did not come. The yellow bird did not fly! The bird did not sing! The bird could not be seen! The bird did not return! No matter how long he held up his finger. No matter how long he waited. No matter how loud he tried to call the bird did not come. The bird had forsaken him!
“Sanzo.”
“ ha ?”
It was so quiet.
The light. The white light. The light was a muted moonlight. A moonlight that was dampened and filtered by the homes of the sound stealers. It was a sterile light. A cold light. It was nothing like the light he craved. It was nothing like the warm, radiating, yellow light that he needed.
“Sanzo.”
“ hat?”
It was so quiet.
It starts with the sound. Then, the air gets too heavy to breath. Then, it becomes too cold to even open your eyes. Then … then… the heaviness gets you. Then… then… there is nothingness.

Utter nothingness.

Nothingness.

Nothingness.

No…

Thing…

Ness….

…

“SANZO!”

“What?”

When this first happened, he had no name to call. He called, but he did not know to whom or even what to say when he called. He did not and still does not know how he called, but call he did. Call he did with all his might! A silent call cutting through the silence!
He now at least has a name.
“SANZO!”
“I’m here.”

Sanzo knitted his brow as he walked into the living room. His mouth fell slightly open as he watched Goku being captured by his inner demons. The man-child had himself curled up in the bay window and his eyes were ensnared by the snow on the ground. His pajama covered arms were crossed about his knees and a hollowness filled the air around him.
Violet eyes lifted and took in the sight of what he thought the young man had left behind him. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have not seen it?
They all had forgotten. Everyone had become wrapped up in themselves and their own personal issues they had all forgotten about the fragile life entrusted with them.
Here that fragile life sat before his eyes and those five years between them expanded. This vision was of the scared child inside of the young man.
Konzen lifted an eyebrow, “Well? Still say he’s old enough?”
Sanzo sucked his teeth, “Fuck off.”
As Sanzo approached Goku, he felt the need to bathe. Am I really a sad man? He placed a hand on Goku’s shoulder, “I’m here now. So you can shut up and stop calling me. It’s annoying. ” He tried to make his voice strong. He wasn’t sure if it worked.
A heavy sigh lifted as distant, large golden eyes turned, “I wasn’t calling.”
Sanzo felt something snap in his chest. This was coming to a stop right now. All he needed was a little help from his friends. Sanzo turned quickly, flipped on the lights, threw his robes on over his pajamas and tossed the cloak about his shoulders.
Hakkai jumped as the pounding on the door woke him. Crimson eyes did not open.
Hakkai slowly lifted himself and took a gasp as Gojyo’s flaccid member escaped him. He felt a sense of loss -- a sense of separation as he found his footing and slid on his boxers.
Gojyo stretched out a hand and touched Hakkai’s thigh, “Not tonight; we’re suppose to be sharing tonight.”
Hakkai pressed his lips together. His heart cracked as he saw his still sleeping lover and thought about of all those wasted nights when he would leave in the middle of the darkness. He’d willingly given away nights like this over some need to not be complicated. He brushed his fingers against Gojyo’s cheek, “Gojyo. I suspect Goku’s ill.” If Gojyo was still carrying that after all of this, how deeply had he disturbed Gojyo’s abandonment issues? If he had the fan, he would have used it on himself.
Sanzo pounded against the door, “Stop fucking and open the goddamn door!”
Crimson eyes were now open. “That monkey had better be bleeding.” Gojyo sat up and he felt vacant.
Sanzo squeezed off a round, “I don’t care if you’re naked, open this fucking door!”
Hakkai dashed to the door fully expecting to see Sanzo carrying a bleeding and broken Goku. He opened the door.
Violet eyes hit emerald and Sanzo had to fight within himself to keep his gaze on those emerald eyes. “Get dressed. Put on your cloak and meet me outside.”
Hakkai blinked as the cold air his mostly exposed body, “Goku? Sick? Outside?”
Violet eyes darted toward a scarred abdomen and then cut to snow, “Just do it.”
Konzen snickered. A violet glare and a Smith and Wesson might indeed get a lot of shit done, but a violet glare and divine grace can get shit done with subtly. He’d been working on that short haired blonde for a while now. His frustrations grew as his intentions were rationalized under humor, spite and deflected upon random women. Kenren might be stubborn. Tenpou might be cunning. Konzen was effectively subtle.
Sanzo did his best to ignore that blonde female impersonator as he stepped into the snow.
Hakkai and Gojyo quickly dressed and headed for the door. Hakkai swept his cloak behind his shoulders.
Gojyo grabbed Hakkai and turned him around, “Did you mean it? Don’t tell me things if you don’t mean them.”
Emerald lifted into fretful crimson, “Yes, I meant it. I meant it without reservation or justification. I love you.”
Crimson swam in an emerald bay. He couldn’t believe the woeful widower had finally come from that shell. This was Hakkai living -- living for himself and Gojyo loved it. “I love you too.”
Hakkai blinked, “The last person I said that to died on me. Don’t you dare die on me, Gojyo. I can‘t take it again.”
Gojyo knitted his brow, “The last person I said that to killed my mother and walked out on me. Save me, but don’t leave me.”
They both couldn’t help but wonder if they had sealed each other’s fate by saying what maybe should have just been left understood. If they didn’t love, they didn’t hurt -- right?
Lips began to creep forward -- they liked living dangerously.
They jumped as a gunshot cracked the air.
Gojyo chuckled, “I’ll be back for that kiss.”
“It’ll be here.”
If they were going to seal each other’s fate , they were going to enjoy the crash before the burn.
They stepped into the snow, one quick glance was shared between them and they remembered.
They dashed to Sanzo.
Hakkai looked at violet eyes, “Is he inside?”
Sanzo nodded.
Gojyo took a step to get in line of sight of the window.
Sanzo firmly spoke, “Stop.”
Gojyo turned around. “What?”
Sanzo knelt and scooped up a ball of snow, “There is to be one thing and only one thing in front of that window.”
Hakkai and Gojyo shared a glance.
Sanzo sucked his teeth. “Now get down here and help me roll a fucking snowman.”
Hakkai smiled and Gojyo chuckled.
Goku sat in his little window of memory and knitted his brow as a large white ball slowly rolled into the view. Lit by the diffused light of the moon and drifting light from the cabin, three sets of hands rolled the ball and three men stood. He lifted his face as the warm yellow light came into view. They seemed to so easily manipulate the sound stealers. How could this be? The sound stealers were incredibly powerful and yet they did seem to die when they were touched.
Each man looked at golden eyes and each tried to reach through the cold bars of fate.
A smaller ball rolled into view and the warmth came back. Three men lifted that ball of snow and placed it upon the first. Goku softly smiled. He wondered if he could manipulate the sound stealers too. That looked kind of fun. He shifted and fear gripped him. He sighed as he watched the sun leave again.
A blonde eyebrow twitched, “We’re making progress.”
Hakkai nodded, “Yes, we are.” He glanced at Gojyo and then Goku.
Gojyo sucked his teeth, “Why don’t we just carry him out here?”
Hakkai patted Gojyo’s arm, “Because he has to do it on his own.”
Gojyo nodded. He understood that.
A third and still smaller ball rolled into view and was lifted upon the second ball.
Gojyo looked up at the ball. “This thing’s taller than I am.” He rubbed his hands together and cupped them to his mouth trying to warm them.
Sanzo nodded, “If you’re going to do something do it right.” Sandals were not meant to be worn in the snow. He couldn’t feel his toes and he didn’t give a damn.
Hakkai clapped his hands together, “Now, to decorate it.” He was warm and toasty.
Sanzo nodded, “One step a head of you.” He reached into his robes and pulled out his crown. He placed it along with the accompanying fabric on top.
Goku sat up and blinked. He pressed his lips together. That looked like a lot of fun.
Hakkai untied his sash and put it around the snowman.
Goku turned in his seat and fear gripped him again.
Gojyo pulled off his blue button up and warped it around the snowman and under Hakkai’s sash.
They found rocks for eyes.
Goku sat up on his knees and pressed his palms against the cold glass.
They found several rocks to form a smile. Gojyo thought a yelling mouth would be more appropriate, but Hakkai insisted upon a smile.
Gojyo insisted on giving the snowman a cigarette.
Hakkai used a strawberry as nose.
Gojyo got the fan when he wanted to make the snowman anatomically correct.
Goku nearly chuckled.
They stood in silence around the snowman looking at Goku though his now glass prison.
Sanzo lit a cigarette, “Sing something. It’s the silence not the snow.”
Hakkai blinked, “I can’t sing.”
Gojyo nodded, “It doesn’t matter.”
Hakkai shook his head, “No, I mean it. I really can’t sing.”
Sanzo sucked his teeth. “It doesn’t matter! Doesn’t anyone of us know any songs! Shit!”
Gojyo started to chuckle, “Hakkai, what about that one you wrote that time we were caught in the snow waiting on Sanzo’s ass while he was working with that brat?”

Could you fit anymore prepositional phrases in that sentence? Hakkai blushed, “Oh no. That’s not appropriate.” Sanzo was here. That song was to never be heard by Sanzo’s ears.
A blonde eyebrow lifted.
Gojyo laughed, “Goku loved it.”
Hakkai shook his head, “No, it’s stupid.”
Sanzo sucked his teeth, “So is the monkey!” A flake of snow landed on the tip of his nose.
Gojyo sucked his teeth, “I’d do it, but I can’t remember how it starts.”
Sanzo sighed, “Hakkai.” That was a warning.
Hakkai pressed his hands to his face, “No, the ending isn’t quite right.”
Sanzo gritted his teeth, “Sing, damn it, and sing loud enough for him to hear it thought the damn glass. Don’t make me get my gun.”
Hakkai blinked and slowly started.
Gojyo immediately joined in. He remembered all the words, but just had to see if Hakkai would do it.
Together they sang -- Gojyo beautifully and Hakkai completely off key.
“Sanzo the blonde haired priest.

Had some very shiny hair.

And if you ever saw it,

You would really have to stare.
Gojyo interjected, “And he’ll hit you with his damn fan.”
The fan flew!
Goku chuckled.
“All of the other monks,

Use to laugh and call him names.

They never let poor Sanzo

Join in any priestly games.”
Gojyo interjected, “Like the horizontal mamba!”
The fan flew! “Not that kind of temple!”
Goku laughed.

“Then one foggy Christmas eve

The Sanbutsushin came to say,

Sanzo with your hair so bright

Won’t you travel west tonight?

Then how the demons feared him

And shouted as they flew

Sanzo the blonde haired priest

One day we’re gonna get you.”
Gojyo interjected, “A big honkin’ bowl of ramen with mayonnaise. Ya nasty freak.”
The fan flew!
Hakkai remained quiet; trying desperately not to die.
Sanzo was not amused --- not one little bit.
Goku was highly amused.
Sanzo softly spoke, “Monkey, we’re missing something.”
Hakkai laughed for no good reason.
Gojyo laughed for no good reason.
Sanzo remained stoic.
Gojyo muttered, “Laugh or I will tickle you. I still remember that time with Tano.”
Sanzo began to laugh of his own accord. It was stifled and jerky, but he did it his damn self.
Laughter surrounded Goku and he sprang from the window. Sound filled him as he bolted through the door.
As soon as he stepped into the snow, dawn broke.
Goku took off his cape and with a little help from his taller friends the snowman wore it.

Never underestimate the

subtle

synergistic power of

friendship,

laughter,

and

love.

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Quick Endnote before Urasai

One of my beta’s thought I should explain these:

Zeedonk --- A Donkey / Zebra mix

Pumapard -- A Puma and Leopard mix.

Wolfphin -- A False Killer Whale and dolphin mix.

http://www.greenapple.com/~jorp/amzanim/crossesa.htm

Note the information on Ligers and Tigons. The “nicknames” will make more sense.

Giaden Holiday Urasai:

I have to -- tis the season -- short and light. Not to be taken seriously, well too seriously.

Advowtrye -- an arcane word meaning adultery; sexual intercourse for fleshy delight. Not really important it just gave me a chuckle.
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KA-BOOM!

A that very moment, everyone in heaven had the same thought: “Where’s Tenpou?”
Everyone except for one, for Tenpou knew where he was.
Two seconds before:
Tenpou lifted an eyebrow. Did I remember to…

One second after:
Tenpou patted out the flame on his lab coat. I guess not.

As the sound rumbled through the walls Kenren gritted his teeth, Aww goddamn it! Can’t a guy take a leak? He zipped up his pants and kick flushed the toilet. If something happened to Tenpou and Gojun finds out about it. He shoved the door open and took two steps. He turned around and went back in the bathroom. He will be all up in my ass! He stepped up to the sink. Those sharp dragon teeth and long dragon talons just chewing. He turned on the water and began to wash his hands. Chewing! Chewing my ass! He didn’t need this shit. He turned off the water and dried his hands. He left the bathroom once again and turned in the hallway, “Tenpou! What the hell have you done to my kitchen?”
Tenpou was smoking. Not a cigarette, but his singed bangs, charred lab coat and soot darkened glasses were --- he was literally --bodily -- smoking.
Kenren sucked his teeth, “How many times have I told you. Let your sister handle the big meals and let me handle the small ones. You know you can’t cook.”
Tenpou cocked his head to one side as he licked his fingers and snuffed out a lock of hair, “One day I’ll learn, and you’ll like it! Anyways, I wasn’t cooking.”
Kenren looked at the destroyed stove and soot covered wall. A copper bottomed pan was mating with the wall. “Then, what happened?”
Tenpou ran his glasses under water and spoke as he cleaned his them, “I suspect the nitro glycerin went unstable.”
Kenren blinked and nearly turned into ice. He took in a breath and knitted his eyebrows, “Excuse me, just what were you doing with nitro glycerin?”
“Making candles.”
“Candles! Candles! Tenpou for crying out loud. Nitro doesn’t go in candles!”
Tenpou nodded, “It doesn’t? Ahh, see now we have found mistake number one.” He made a mental note for next time. Just say no to nitro.
Kenren picked up a rag and tried to clean up. “Why don’t you just go and buy the silver and gold candles?” Nitro? Why ? Oh why would you even think to put that in candles?

Tenpou sighed as he took off his coat, “They are so hard to find up here. This little celebration isn’t allowed, you know.”
Kenren yanked the pan from the wall, several tiles fell out and broke on the floor, “Why? Why do we do this every year?” And, why do I need a new kitchen just as often?

“Because, it has nothing to do with the Jade Emperor. Because we’re not allowed to. Because it breaks a rule.” He sighed, “And Yule celebrations look like so much fun in the lower world.”
Kenren gritted his teeth as he yanked the stove from the wall. Good thing he thought to get an extra one last time. “Now, you are just breaking rules for the sake of breaking rules.”
Tenpou nodded as he picked up shards of glass, “Yep.”
Kenren yelled, “Stop! Don’t touch a damn thing.”
Too late, Tenpou had already cut himself.
Kenren sighed, “You just can’t keep it together off the battlefield, can you?”
Tenpou laughed, “The battlefield and the bedroom.”
Love and war -- they’re what he knew.
Eventually the kitchen became safe although not fully cleaned and guests began to arrive. As a show of good faith, Homura was invited, but he politely declined. He already had rule breaking plans with a very special lady. Gojun politely declined also. He spent the day with his family.
Tenpou’s sister, Advowtrye, stood in the kitchen and looked up at the ceiling. “He tried again this year didn’t he?”

Kenren nodded, “Yep.”
She smiled and giggled, “Which is why I always bring some.”
Kenren laughed, “You know him so well.”
She folded the dish rag in her hand and sighed, “I want you to know; I really appreciate you being in his life.”
Crimson eyes lifted and found emerald.
She continued, “You don’t know how well I rest knowing that he has you to watch over him.”
Kenren softly smiled, “I try.”
She shook her head, “You do more than try, you succeed.”
A damp, but clean Tenpou stepped from the bathroom, “Hey now! You’re not putting the moves on my sister are you? Don’t want me to have to become the over-protective brother.”
They both threw dish rags at him.
Konzen was led by the hand all the way to Kenren’s house by Goku. Nataku promised to show if he could slip away from his father, which he was able to do.

Only Goku could contain the power to make Konzen so tractable.
They actually allowed Tenpou to light the candles and the Yule log.
Nothing exploded.
They took this as a good sign.
The day was filled with light hearted games, conversation, and food prepared by Advowtrye and Kenren.
There was a brief discussion about the “rebirth” of the sun -- Tenpou insisted on it. They had to do something to make this more than just a friendly gathering or he wouldn’t be able to check-off another rule.
They also enjoyed the requisite number of step typical sappy moment that included bamboozling Konzen into a set of foam reindeer antlers -- which he was forced to wear for the rest of the day.
Konzen was far from amused.
War, heretics and worries faded for one day as they were just they.
Goku still forgot to tell Nataku his name.
Time came for presents.
Konzen received an new ink pad. He was not amused. His real present was a large white paper fan. He’d been complaining that his office was stuffy. They figured that would keep them from hearing him complain so much.
Kenren received a new flask. His broke not too long ago. His real present was in a small box in the bedroom -- where Tenpou was going to personally show him how and where to use it. It vibrated -- that was going to be fun.
Tenpou gave Advowtrye a leather necklace that had a wooden cross pendant. He didn’t understand her draw to the ancient symbol used by some in the lower worlds to represent the crossing of the Heaven and Earth. He found this one on a recent trip to the lower world. The engraving on the back read: “Death is just the beginning.”
Goku gave Nataku a flower necklace and a book about dragons.
Goku received a book about butterflies and no one hassled him about food all day.

Tenpou received a helmet.

As the evening waned, they all curled up around the television.
Reindeer antlers cast as shadow on the back wall as Shrek flickered on the screen and Kenren silently mouthed all the words.

Happy holidays to all and to all a good night!

(Go out there a break some rules will ya?)

*********Reviewer Feedback*****

Shadowfox13 2004-12-10
Wow, you did a really good job with chapter 12 and there was a lot of sensual (ok people I meant word wise!) description, just very lush. Hehe and that made it easy to do a lot of visualizing :D I am most definately looking forward to the next installment. ^.^V

ShadowFox-- You’re too sweet! Thanks for the assurance. You knew I was a bit nervous about this chapter cuz there wasn’t a solid visual moment. Whew. Thanks! I really try to make it seem like the reader is standing there watching it unfold and I was nervous that I missed it this chapter. Thanks for the assurance.
I really appreciate all of your assistance thus far!
Cupnjava c[~]~~~*sip*
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Silvertales6 2004-12-10
AGGG!

i cannot stop reading this story! i wait and wait for another chapter to come and when it does...IT'S LIKE CHRISTMAS EARLY! Your writing is absolutely.....amazing for lack of a better word. I heart Gojyo....he is my favorite. I also heart Tenpou...and Hakkai...and Kenren....ALL OF THEM! hahaha!
Your writing is very deep and obviously this is more than the "Oh! We're at an inn...we've only 2 rooms...let's add a senseless lemon!" storyline. I loved the little girl Faythe and Cacye's doormat. I could gush and gush but i must go now.

Keep writing!

kbye

-silvertales6

Silvertales6-- It is because of your review , I scrambled to get chapter 13 out on the 24^th. I wanted to give you Christmas Early. *BLUSH* (As if I could really do that) You’re words are too much.
They are a great bunch of guys aren’t they? So much fun to toy with. I tried to pull this out of the realm of PWP. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy the alone in a room and one thing leads to another stuff. Good smut is good smut. However! I like to write with a few themes running. I’m glad you enjoy it!
Thank you so very much for reviewing!
Cupnjava c[~]~~~*sip*
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CloeyKujaku 2004-12-11
(Sitting in corner sobbing.)

Ego 1: ....You're on.

I'm on?

Ego 2: Yes, dipshit, start the review.

(Whipes tears, force-smile.) That. Was. Awesome. I can't put my awe into words. I love this fanfiction so damn MUCH! You litterally had me sobbing throughout the chapter. Though I hate it, I love it all the same. It's VERY hard to make me cry, so I comend you!
LMFAO. The Konzen and Sanzo bit had me cracking up, though. I had to run to my friend and scream about how Konzen bitches at Sanzo for being a pedophile. Damn pedophile priest (hey! Alliteration!) But we love him that way.
It's funny how you can get me to scream at this story. XD Like, I was yelling at Konzen to shut the fuck up and let Sanzo bang Goku so Gojyo can do Hakkai. (Perverted, shhh!)

As always, you continue writing, I continue to spare your life and review. (Blow kiss.) Tootles! And DEEPLY looking forward to next chappie!

CloeyKujaku--- (gives tissue) The last few chapters were heavy, I tried to lighten it up a bit with 13. It was hard to write. I had to keep tissues handy myself.
Konzen and Sanzo see Goku very different. Now, we begin to learn why Sanzo is running so hot and cold -- why he just can seem to feel normal. Konzen is screwing with him. Funny how it started with Sanzo not wanting to complicate things and playing the mental joke on Hakkai --- all the while Konzen was doing the same with Sanzo making Sanzo complicate things.
Yeah, Konzen needs to shut up and let Sanzo bang Goku. Geez, he passed on his chance with the green eyed man. That was his mistake and now he has to live with it. Sigh.
Thank you for sparing my life once again. I know that the punishment for bad writing is severe in this dungeon of yours. Egor will do her best, master.
(snags kiss in the air and keeps it forever)

Giggle.
Cupnjava c[~]~~~*sip*
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Pink Plaid Robot 2004-12-11
This chapter moved me to tears... *sniff sniff* I love this story...please keep it up.

Pink Plaid Robot -- (hands tissue) So nice to hear from you again! I’m glad to know you are still with us! Oh yes, this fic isn’t ending anytime soon.
Thank you for your kind words,
Cupnjava c[~]~~~*sip*
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Addictedtomarbles 2004-12-11
You made me cry ... it was so moving ... I couldn't get any work done for at least an hour. Once again a beautifully thought out chapter, with a new take on Gojyo's background that is genuinely heart-warming and distressing at the same time. Misunderstandings resolved ... yay. I liked how Hakkai just stood in the rain, not caring about how he was cold and it just reminded me of earlier on in the fic when Gojyo said "I guess when he falls in love, it really is forever". Ahhh, bless. Something that can't be said ... but can be written, on a cast that contains an injury nonetheless, it's supremely poetic and yet as stark as the trees with no leaves.

It's noticeable too that neither one of them has said 'love' yet as if it doesn't need to be said, or they're afraid of saying it. Possibly because neither of them know what love means anymore; they only have mixed up versions of it, so the feeling of 'love' has lost its resonance and doesn't feel as special anymore. Poor Gojyo and poor Hakkai ...

I also like Konzen coming into play about how he doesn't really see Goku as an almost-adult and how he still has affections for Tenpou without realizing that Sanzo is no longer him and Hakkai is no longer Tenpou. The idea of the characters having the same core but coming out with different result is always a challenge, but you did such a marvelous job of it. It's easy to forget that Konzen has had a relative who loves him and relatively comfortable life whereas Sanzo fought for his life from day one same as Tenpou has a job which is to protect (his troops) and can channel the need to protect to them whereas Hakkai has nothing to protect apart from himself and actively seeks other people. I'm procrastinating now....

Ahh that other reviewer is right! Its just like waiting for the dvds and manga to come out. I always check my inbox daily just to see if you are early with the installment, so I can copy and paste it into the file for some serious re-reading (tomorrow I'm on my own, so I'm curling up with cocoa and gonna read the whhoooooole thing).

Continue please! I love these installments.

Standing by with cookies

Addictedtomarbles--- (hands tissue) Your support through out this fic means so much to me. I just cannot properly express it. I try to find the words and I simply cannot. Please understand what I cannot express --thank you so very much.
I didn’t mean to mess up your workday. I’m so sorry. People were probably wondering why you were sniffling at your computer. “Uhh no ummm no --- smut is not getting to me like this. I’ve got a cold.” Giggle. It was rather difficult to write I can assure you. Especially considering I do 90% of my writing in solitude -- shiver.
The “L” word. It gets spoken in chapter 13. I cheered when they finally said it. I thought it was touching that Gojyo only got up the nerve when he thought Hakkai was asleep. I can only imagine if it was whispered in the dark of night before. They do fear that word -- I can’t blame them. It has only been the forbearer of heart ache in the past.
Konzen and Sanzo -- yes Konzen sees the people in Sanzo’s life very differently from how Sanzo sees them. When I was informed of this, it made Sanzo’s bi-polar nature make a bit more sense. He’s been fighting with himself since the beginning of the fic.
Hakkai and protection -- this will get flushed out a bit more. I can’t say anything more without giving stuff away before its time.
You guys are SOOO sweet! Like waiting for the DVD’s --- *BLUSH*. You guys are too kind, really.
You’re going to read the WHOLE thing? I just found out that one of my betas has been putting them all in once big word document. The fic is over 400 pages long now. I had NO IDEA. This is insanely long, I just don’t understand it.
Thank you so very much for staying with me on the ride.
Cupnjava c[~]~~~*sip*
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Turin me 2004-12-11
Ah! So touching and sweet and heart-breaking! You're truly one of the BEST Saiyuki writers around! As long as you keep on writing, be assured we'll keep on reading!!!

Turin me -- Is your nick rooted in the Turing Test? Just had to ask. I like it.
One of the best? *BLUSH* I will keep writing and I do hope I never disappoint.
Thank you for reviewing and reading,
Cupnjava c[~]~~~*sip*
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a little shy 2004-12-12
Hello. I just wanted to post a quick comment. I've been following this story for some time now & have just really been drawn into it. I enjoy reading fanfic, particularly slash, but this story has somehow meant a lot more to me. I took a little time warming up to the whole split personality concept, but am now accustomed to it. I of course love the smut & have found myself having a little understanding of kink that I did not really possess before. I adore Gaiden stories & have appreciated the flashbacks. As the "past lives" personalities of our characters play a lot in this tale, it is also good to go back & see them in that time. The torture was difficult to stomach, but I appreciate the necessity of telling a story full-on, not watered down. I didn't realize when I began to read this story, where it would take me. I think your words may very well influence the way I think about Saiyuki (& particularly my dear Hakkai & Gojyo) in the future. This last chapter (12) - I just really felt it & found myself surprised to be emotional and tearing up during Gojyo's song. I rarely get emotional over fanfic! Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for writing this story. I thought perhaps this chapter was the end, but am pleased to see that you are planning to continue it. I look forward to future chapters & whatever else you may write in the future. Take care & thanks again.

A little shy -- A new voice! Yippie! Welcome to the ride; it is nice to have you along.
It means a lot that your understanding of kink has deepened a bit via this fic. All too often kink is presented as non-consent that becomes consent or as some other form of sadist violence. That is not kink. Kink develops out of trust and sense of adventure. It takes a deep relationship to fully explore and enjoy kink -- it is also extremely fun to write and read. Giggle.
This is a level of connectivity our boys will be building back to -- as soon as a certain kappa is ready.
I’m glad you have enjoyed the fic thus far, I hope I do not disappoint with future installments.
Thank you for speaking up and reviewing. There’s no need to be shy -- we’re all friends here untied by our addiction and obsession -- Saiyuki.
Cupnjava c[~]~~~*sip*

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Shadowfox13 2004-12-12
I just caught on to something *LOL* The part where Gojyo jingles a bell and Goku immediately thinks of Lirin. *eheheheh* Don't tell me those two have been....er.....intimate? hehehe, if so, I could just imagine Kougaji's reaction if he ever found out. Hehehehe. Boy I just pick up on new things each time around that I read it.

It's kind of neat thinking of those 4 as a family btw, that they could secretly depend on eachother should they need to. Hm, speaking of issues....will there be a chapter dealing with Sanzo as well as Goku's issues too? Oh yes that was the other part I was curious about, who else did Goku 'play cards' with?

ShadowFox -- I can’t slip anything past you can I? Rather to quote a certain monk, “With you guys around, I can’t get away with anything.” Yes, there is an implied pairing between Goku and Lirin. Tee-hee. I just think they are too cute together. Of course cute is nothing compared to 3 / 9 HOTNESS! LOL
I don’t know how Kou would take it, and I’m a bit scared to find out. Hopefully, we won’t have to deal with it. (You asked off board) And, yes, Sanzo does know about Lirin and has no problems with it. Because of Goku’s open-mindedness, they have a rather strange relationship. It works for them and Sanzo is the type to only fix when broken. So, as long as it keeps working then a true commitment between those two is not even on the radar.
Family -- I see them as a piecemeal family. They are all each other has. Gojyo has Jein, but doesn’t have him. I cannot imagine how it is to have someone that was once so close stand on the other side. Once was so close -- that’s not quite right is it? They are still rather close. I don’t think either one could really hurt the other.
Thanks again! See ya on Yahoo!
Cupnjava c[~]~~~*sip*
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Shinigami_senpai 2004-12-17
I haven't had a chance to review in a loooong time, and I've read other reviews that have said what I was thinking already. I just wanted to give love and encouragement. This is my favorite Fan Fic of all time! (And that goes waaaay back to XFiles fanfics) I anxiously await the next installment. Oh, and the Sanzo/Konzen thing at the end of the chap.....EXCELLENT! I can't wait to see where that goes.

Shinigami_senpai--- Nice to hear from you again! Favorite fic of all time? Oh my! *BLUSH* You guys are really too much!
Thank you so much for the encouragement. Reading these reviews really helps me get motivated to write when I’ve had a bad day or just don’t feel like writing. I hope I never disappoint. The bar has been set pretty high for this fic, sometimes I get rather nervous that a bad chapter will come about and house of cards will fall.
Thank you for your kind words.
Cupnjava c[~]~~~*sip*
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Flamingolo 2004-12-18
Gods. How many ways can I say how much I adore this fic? The build-up in this chapter was outstanding, the way you bounced between scenes until it came to a whirlwind climax...just lovely. As always, your atmosphere was astounding; and as always, you manage to make each chapter better than the one before. I had several favorites from this chappie, but I'd have to say my top two scenes were Hakkai all muddy and lost, and Gojyo playing the guitar. The image of Hakkai was so heartwrenching...and making us poor readers remember Tenpou from the previous chapter, you clever author, you. Your set-up made it that much more poignant, and I found myself cheating and trying to read ahead to see what happened. The entire scene with the Faythe and Gojyo taking her 'home' was very, very well-written as well. I loved the initial scene of the 'mother' figure opening the door and enfolding him in a hug ^_^ Anyway, I could go on and on about this lovely little fanfic. Outstanding job, looking forward to more!

Flamingolo -- How many ways can I say I appreciate you? You’re encouragement is so important to me.
Each chapter better than the one before -- ok yeah the pressure is truly on now. Eeeekk! I hope I don’t disappoint.
A lot of people like the Gojyo song bit. I thought it was very fitting. I’ve known for a while that he was going to be using the guitar to get through it. I wanted to pay a bit of homage to the wonder singing the Japanese voice actor does and show that Kenren really did help Gojyo with the problems.
I wonder how many people noticed the tilted parallelism that Gojyo had to make it a mental game and Hakkai had to draw upon strength. They had to step out of their element and into the other’s in order to get it done. A convoluted way of showing how they need each other and with out each other’s deep influence they could not have surpassed the problem.
Yeah, I get to cryptic sometimes.
Faythe -- she’s a sweetheart. She’ll be fine btw. She’s going to grow up to be a strong healthy woman. Gojyo got her home just in enough time. He saved her while she saved him .
Remembering Tenpou -- ya picked up on my HEAVY love affair of call-backs. I like how the anime makes the earlier stuff seem more important by the later stuff. I’m trying to copy that.
The Mother figure -- yeah there’s a lot of symbolism in that whole bit. Only one bit is to indicate why Gojyo was initially attracted to Hakkai.
Hey! No fair cheating and reading ahead. Giggle. When I wrote it I actually asked myself. I wonder how many people will scroll all the way to the bottom to see if they are together before they read it. LOL!
- 12
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- 14
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