Je Ne Regrette Rien

AN: OMG I can’t believe this chapter got to 3,000 words... and I’m sooo excited about the next chapter. Its short (so I will probably release it tomorrow as a treat) but I like it. *evil grin*

Suggested Listening: Long Way To Happy by Pink; I Need A Miracle by Fragma (no idea why this was on my playlist for JNRR... yes I have a playlist just for this fic... so sue me.)

Chapter 12: Disquiet

~Matt~

The past few months had been.... trying. To say the least. Every two to three weeks we received a video. If we hadn't found it before a certain date, as they didn't always leave clues for me to use, then it would be aired on television.

Because of this many detectives had backed off and left the case to others. I hated them. It wasn't just about Mello, though the rest of the world could burn if it would get him back by my side, everyone was in danger because of the Organization.

They had made it more than clear that they weren't stopping anytime soon. Detectives first, then came law enforcement and finally the governments. They had wanted to start small and work their way up, and they had been doing a damn good job of it so far.

After Mello's capture there had been a small decrease in detective killings before spiking at an all time high. Though they only broadcast Mello's torture, live or otherwise. I didn't know why, neither did L, but in a sick way it at least proved he was still alive.

But with the increase in violence and severity in his torture sessions... I couldn't say for how long, even with knowing they needed him alive. Sometimes, usually when I was by myself, I almost wished that he would cave and spill our location. At least then his torture might end.

Then I’d realize what I was thinking and take a short rest. Those idiotic thoughts only appeared when I was tired. Alone. And after another video had been found or aired.

There had been three more video's since the second one.

And Mello had been captive for close to four months.

Currently I was working on the latest video which we had come across over two weeks ago; so I suppose it was rather futile to still be mulling over it. I let my eyes close in shame as I recalled what my reaction had been to the video. It was not one of my prouder moments.

And yet completely justified. At least in my mind. I was the reason he was still there.

I hadn't been able to disconnect myself from any of his tortures, and this one had been no different.

He was wearing thin, and they had made a real mess of him. He had been hallucinating towards the end of it. Mello had always handled sleepless nights well, so I could only imagine how long they had deprived him of sleep for all that to happen.

At one point, I had almost though he would give in and tell them where L was, just to get some sleep. But he hadn't

It hurt... to see him like that. He shouldn't have been there in the first place, and not for so long. There was just nothing to go on, not since their first slip up.

Or maybe it had been intentional, the video had been left in that mansion after all. It just didn't matter to me any longer. We didn't have any new leads, even with Jasper helping, not that I expected much.

So even as I watched the newest video for the tenth or so time, still unable to fully hide a wince at his state, I didn't expect much.

I let my mind wander. There had to be something we could do... the next one was being aired live, or so the note attached to this one had stated.

Aired live...

Could we possibly.... maybe if we were prepared we could...?

I closed my laptop and stalked out of my room. I was usually in the computer room but had taken a few hours by myself today. We would have to act quickly since they could start broadcasting at any time now. But this might just be what we needed....

We had never previously known when, or what form the video's would take. Whether they would be in tape form, released on the net or aired live so we had never bothered with this before. But now that we knew for certain the next one would be live, perhaps we could trace the signal.

I explained that to L as I set up my laptop by my usual work station.

“Hm... that just may work. At any rate, I would say that it is worth a try. What would you require of Near and I?” L's eyes glanced briefly at me while he stacked sugar cubes in his coffee.

“You would be backing me up. I highly doubt that they are stupid enough not to hide their signal, we will probably be hacking through dummy signal's within the broadcast, and even possibly have to sift through them to find the one linking to the actual one. I don't know how long the broadcast will be and I cant chance my skills not being enough. We will only have one shot.” I watched as L stirred his syrup-in-a-cup and began opening specialized programs on both mine and Mello's computer.

I had already added most of my programs to Mello's laptop two months ago, in case one of them was compromised in some way or I needed to run multiple programs and watch them at the same time without the pc slowing down. It would be more than useful for what we would attempt to do.

I was going to set Mello's up as the backup. It would have a whole different set of programs up and ready in case I had to use them on the fly.

“Get everything set up then. I believe you will have us using your programs?” I smirked. I still hadn't given L my hacking programs. I would have to update mine after this to make sure they were still better than whatever L could drudge up. How else would I make money after this?

“Already on it.” I mumbled to him as I sent my programs in a package over L's server. They would be installed in less than three minutes on all of the computers once L opened it. I couldn't worry about their end right now, I had to make sure everything was working just right on my own laptop.

I wouldn't let it be my error screwing Mello's chances up again.

I vaguely heard Near asking L if he was supposed to click on something or not and withheld a sigh. Near was good at hacking, but anything else with a computer and he was lost. I didn't understand it at all.

As I tweaked seemingly random things around the laptop I was suddenly glad I had gotten some sleep earlier, because until that broadcast started, none of us were leaving this room unless it was an emergency.

Hell there was even a bathroom in here, so if one of us was inside when it started it wouldn't take long to get to our computer.

Too bad there weren't any beds.

One day passed. Then two. On the second day I was starting to get antsy. It was almost the three weeks mark and still nothing. I knew there was no reason to be worried, that they would broadcast soon, but waiting always made things worse-

-beep- -beep-

“Start!” I had the computers set to chime when any of the normal broadcasts were interrupted, and sure enough as Watari turned on the television is was blank except for the word Organization. Though I had only glanced at it to make sure.

The three of us were typing as fast as we could to trace the signal, shredding through fake lines the second we spotted them. But there were many. They were broadcasting from several thousands places at once. At least that's what it appeared.

Naturally there would only be one main point of origin, but it was connected to many other servers and spreading the signal rapidly in every direction so the starting location was hidden.

I swore as the actual video began. Not even five minutes later I heard Mello yell 'No!' clear as day. I itched to turn around and see what they were doing to him, but I had to concentrate on the hack.

Thankfully Watari turned the volume down or muted it, so it made it easier.

“I would say it is almost finished.” he stated softly a few minutes later. I grit my teeth. There was so little time and it was looking like we wouldn't be able to hack the feed in time. I paused my own hack and left it to L and Near who's fingers were flying across the keyboards.

Instead I switched to Mello's laptop with the desired programs already open and continued on. His computer was a little slower in some areas, but would be faster in the end. To use this program was to have all fire walls and anti-virus material off. It needed unrestricted access that a firewall would hinder.

The main problem was all the things that crept onto the computer in doing away with the security. Which is why I hadn't used mine, and used this as a last resort.

L and Near were diverting a lot of the duplicate and fake signals though it still left me a lot to go through in about thirty seconds.

Twenty seconds. “Shit...”

Fifteen.

Ten. I had found the original, not the location yet, but I had the direct signal. Now to follow it back...

Five.

I narrowed it down to two possible locations before I couldn't get any further, but not because the actual broadcast had ended; a virus was eating its way through Mello's laptop. Quickly memorizing the information I pulled his laptop free from the main hookup to L's network and slipped in a flash drive.

A box popped open and I typed in a few lines of code and watched as the screen flashed before going white. That virus had been made to corrupt whatever attacking system and steal their data before wiping the host computer clean.

The only way to stop it was to wipe the computer before they could get their hands on anything. Mello would definitely need a new laptop after this.

“Matt?” I yanked the flash drive out and pocketed it again. I had only brought it just in case, and I was happy I had. Because smashing the laptop to pieces wouldn't have worked and neither would forcing it to crash.

I stood up and moved over to L's computer and typed out the two locations into an open Word document.

“This is what I had gotten to before they infected his computer. From what I can tell they don't know I have this yet, but I would hurry. If they are at one of these locations and know they have been compromised...” L nodded and immediately had Watari call people to check them out.

As much as I would love for him to have local police just storm into those places, if Mello was in one of them, it might get him killed. So as painstakingly slow as it would be to have people take the time to properly watch each location, it was smarter in the long run.

Having run out of cigarettes, and needing a quick break, I headed for the door intending to spend a few minutes by myself.

“Matt, before you go, would you like for me to bring anything back when I get L his sweets?” Watari asked me while he slowly pushed the cart in front of him. It was filled with empty dishes that had once contained various types of sweet things. How he and Mello could eat so much of that stuff without going into a coma I would never know.

“If it's not to much trouble, just something small to snack on.” Watari smiled at me for a moment, before he took on a much more somber expression.

“That won't be a problem. However, since there is no real need of it... I would suggest that you do not watch the new broadcast.” he continued on and out of the room and all I could do was stand there and stare stupidly at the spot he'd vacated.

For Watari to suggest something like this... whatever had been done to Mello had to have been bad.

I would have gone back and retrieved my laptop but I figured I wouldn't be left alone for very long if I stayed in my room. So watching the broadcast would have to happen in the computer room. Not something I really wanted to do.

My steps were brusque and my motions in grabbing my cigarettes even quicker. I had originally intended to smoke one or two in my room and head back. Instead, I pocketed six packs, my ear buds, and returned to my laptop.

Now nervous, worried and completely tense I pulled up the recorded broadcast and made sure that my ear buds were in securely. It wouldn't do to have whatever I would be watching to suddenly be spouting across the room because I accidently pulled the chord loose.

With a poorly hidden sigh I clicked play.

The first minute or so wasn't so bad, though it did allow me time to look Mello over. He was exhausted, emaciated and barely conscious. But still alive. His hair was longer and clumped together, when was the last time water had touched it?

And I could just make out his burns from the ice cubes and salt, the ones on his right arm hidden as his arms were strapped wrist down.

I watched as a knife was taken out and brought over to his left hand and a cut was made below the final knuckle.

I still had no real idea what they would be doing, were they going to just cut him up or...

Mello was rapidly loosing what little composure he'd had left. I heard his breathing pick up and his whole body tensed. It was as though h knew exactly what they were going to do to him.

I watched silently as the man, a doctor I would be inclined to say, broke the middle finger on his left hand. Just broke it, applied pressure until it snapped like a twig. Mello choked on air and froze, panic in his eyes as the knife was raised again.

So many things swam across his features, but the main one was panic.

“No!” he yelled. This was when Watari had turned the sound off earlier so we could hack without distractions. Mello looked horrified that he'd shown them fear, and I could understand why. These people were sick, and they lived for it, and would use it against him.

I was more than worried when they didn’t taunt him as they usually did, instead...

Instead they moved onto cutting his finger off. Completely off. Mello was pale and gasping; I had never seen him look so... scared. It hurt so bad to watch him like this.

Blood was spilling all over him and the floor as his finger was tossed somewhere off camera. Mello took one look at his hand and threw up.

And it only got worse for him when he wouldn't give them anything on L. They cut off two more fingers on his left hand. He had lost his composure completely before the end. So exhausted and hurt that he couldn't help but scream.

I clenched my fists so tightly my fingers ached.

The clip ended with him staring blankly at his hand, seemingly watching as he bled out. He needed to be found soon or we weren't going to find him alive. If they were this frustrated with Mello's lack of cooperation that they were already... cutting things off, what would they try next?

I quickly lit a cigarette from one of my new packs and took many long drags from it, trying to get as much of the calming nicotine into my body as I could. I had finished three cigarettes total before Watari appeared with the food.

He set a plate of sandwiches in front of me and I smiled weakly. I no longer felt like eating anything at all. But I knew I would. I needed to eat, and I would feel bad for making Watari get it only to have it sit there.

“Thank you.” he gave me a warm smile and walked off to L, who was then surrounded by sweets.

Quickly stubbing out the remainder of the fourth cigarette I hesitantly picked up one of the sandwiches and bit into it. I suppose it would have tasted excellent had I eaten before I watched the broadcast.

Now... I knew I was eating, but I couldn't really taste it. Perhaps that was at least better than it tasting horrible.

I was only able to stomach two of the small sandwiches before feeling sick. Any more and it would be coming back up. I needed sleep... but if I left then they wouldn't inform me of anything until I had gotten up on my own.

It was going to be a long wait before we knew anything. I wasn't even sure how long. It might be hours... or it might be days. With a sigh I pulled my goggles to rest at my neck and leaned back in the chair. Folding my arms I attempted to get comfortable.

It was warm in the room, not uncomfortable, just warm. With that and the soothing sounds of typing I was able to drift off occasionally, but never for too long. The chair was ok to sit in, but not for any length of time.

The process was repeated a few more times, and each time it seemed like I got less sleep.

I was eventually startled awake by L's phone ringing. Sitting up quickly and rubbing my blurry eyes, I yawned quietly. My neck was stiff and I rolled my shoulders to release some of the tension.

“Alright, get everything ready. I want to be connected before you go in.” I had yawned so many times in the past few minutes I missed half the conversation. Pulling my goggles back over my eyes I looked in L's direction.

“Matt, the Organization is currently staying in Finnmark, Norway. I have my contact acting as my proxy and the local police will be forming a strike force. They should be ready within the next hour.”

I sucked in a breath.

Finally, after nearly four months, we were going to free Mello and take that damn organization down.

-End Disquiet-

AN: Yes! We are finally winding down with this. Only a few more chapters left..