No Escaping Fate

No Escaping Fate

The progress of this chapter is a little choppy but it is supposed to be. Kind of like the prologue where Shu’s thoughts are muddled and tend to run together.

Thanks to Trish for betaing.

Chapter Thirteen

Eiri glared at the phone as it rang. This was one of the few times that he had voluntarily spent time with Tohma and Mika and someone picked now to interrupt.

“Seguchi,” Tohma answered. “Already? I was told that we would have more time to prepare him… No… Alright, I will take care of it on my end… No, thank you for letting me know.”

Eiri had a very bad feeling as Tohma’s conversation progressed. When his brother-in-law looked up at him Eiri knew that something wasn’t right. “This isn’t a social call, is it?”

Mika got up and sat down next to her brother as Tohma shook his head. “Eiri,” she said very softly. The writer had been very emotionally fragile since the events with Shuichi six years ago. “You know that things have gotten bad. The doctors are now sure that he will never wake up again.”

Eiri stiffened and leaned away from the hand she was reaching out to him. He didn’t have to ask who or what she was talking about, he knew. “No…”

“Eiri-kun, they are cutting off the life support as we speak.”

He wanted to hit something or someone. Eiri got to his feet and took several steps toward Tohma. “And you all decided that it was in my best interests to keep me in the dark until the last possible moment so that I couldn’t interfere.”

Mika stood up and laid a hand on his shoulder which he quickly shrugged off. “Eiri, please, calm down. We didn’t think…”

“I don’t give a damn what you did or didn’t think. I will be damned if you kill him.”

Tohma stood up and got in Eiri’s face. “We all decided that it was best for you. You have let this eat away at you for six years Eiri. Six YEARS!”

Eiri took a step back from the keyboardist. It was the first time in memory that Tohma had yelled at him. His heart throbbed and he fought to keep tears out of his eyes. “I… know… but I can’t let him go.”

There was silence for several tense moments but then the look on Tohma’s face softened. As he opened his mouth to speak the phone rang again.

*

For some reason he hurt all over. Several people had been in and out of the hospital room. He hadn’t been able to open his eyes to look at them, he was just too tired, but they had all bent low and spoken to him. The things that they kept telling him made him feel strange, like he was going somewhere. Hiro, Suguru, Maiko, his mother and father, they had all been and gone and it was strange. He had only passed out, after all.

After awhile there was silence again. He couldn’t have moved if he had wanted to; couldn’t have opened his eyes or spoken. He was so tired. After awhile he felt himself drifting again toward sleep. But he had a feeling of foreboding, like if he did fall asleep again something bad would happen.

Somewhere in the distance the door opened again and he heard low voices converse for a moment before it closed again.

Slow steps crossing the room…

The bed dipping next to him…

A gentle hand sweeping across his face…

“You never knew how to do anything the normal way did you? You always waited until the last possible moment and then changed your mind.”

Shuichi didn’t understand.

He knew that voice though, it was Eiri. For some reason the fact that it was Eiri didn’t bother him like it normally would have. He liked the fact that the author cared enough to come and see him.

“I know it isn’t my usual night to come and see you, but under the circumstances I thought you might enjoy one of our talks.”

‘What? Talks, visit? I’ve only spoken to Eiri twice since coming back to Japan.’

“So let’s see. You were supposed to be thinking about my idea for doing a historical story. I know it’s not really my style, but I would make for a nice change of pace.”

The hand had kept petting his hair and Shuichi felt the need to nuzzle into the touch, it felt so good. He strained his neck for a moment and then the muscles gave and he pushed his head into the hand.

“…he woul- … Did you?”

The hand froze mid-stroke and all Shuichi could do was whimper. He wanted that touch and he wanted that sweet voice. Oh, how he had missed it. The anger he had once felt toward the man seemed to be gone. Again he had no explanation as to why, but the anger seemed like distant dream.

“Can you… can you hear me?”

‘Now that is a stupid question if ever I heard one, Eiri; and you call me a baka.’ Shuichi managed to open one bleary eye and attempted to glare at the writer.

“Oh… my… Shu-han… baby?”

The pseudo glare left Shuichi’s eye. ‘You’re being awfully nice today. I figured that you would be mad at me for overworking myself. I am sure that Tohma told you about that by now, but you should know that it is just as much his fault as mine. Really! You know that man could talk Eskimos into an ice machine, he had me thinking I could be in two bands at once’

The singer managed to slowly lift one hand to cover Eiri's where it was on his cheek, but try as he might he could not manage to move his left hand to reach out to Eiri’s face. In fact his whole left side felt a little sluggish, almost numb.

“You’re… but…” Eiri’s free hand started fumbling for something Shuichi couldn’t see. When he found it there was a rapid series of clicks. “Stay with me, Shu-han! Come on baby, stay with me! Don’t go back to sleep!”

Eiri’s voice seemed frantic. It was a little overdramatic as far a Shuichi was concerned, but it was still nice to be fussed over. He had spent years trying to get Eiri to care. It was hardly worth it to push him away now… ‘But since when am I okay with this? Just because Tohma and Ryuichi think that I should go back to Eiri doesn’t mean that I have to be with him or even that I need him… but its okay I guess.’ Shu stared up into scared amber eyes. ‘He genuinely seems worried about me. I would be rude to push him away now… assuming I could find the strength.’

Shuichi let his hand fall to the side. It was too much effort to keep it up at this point. He could hear running footsteps and then the door opened. He turned his head just enough to see several people in scrubs entering.

The chain of events that followed were a blur. He was poked and prodded. He was asked to blink, move, and speak. Most of this he was able to do without problem, but his voice was weak and all the movements on his left side were slow in coming.

While all of this was going on Eiri was there, no longer sitting next to him, but always within his line of sight. The blond had a phone in his hand and was making numerous calls. Next to him Tohma and Mika were also making calls. They had been told more than once not to use the cell phones in the hospital or at least to go out into the hall, but after several glares the staff had given up on getting any of them to move.

Shuichi for his part was trying to stay calm, but really he was starting to get frustrated. He hadn’t been able to form any actual words yet and so he was unable to ask what was going on. From the frantic way everyone was acting he could guess that he had been sicker than he thought. Really, though, it would have been nice if someone told him what was happening to him.

In the back of his head something prickled at his thoughts.

The silver flash of the knife against his skin…

‘The day I left...’

Running away from the apartment building…

‘Wait, where are my things? And I got into a cab, I didn’t run.’

The busy streets and the park in the distance…

‘I didn’t go the park, I went to the airport.’

he screech of tires… pain… cold… dark…

Shuichi took a deep shuddering breath. ‘No… that’s not the way it happened.’ Familiar panic was rising in his chest and the din of voices was fading. Eiri was no longer on the phone, he was desperately trying to force his way past a large orderly to get to Shu.

His heart was beating franticly in his chest and he felt disoriented. The room around him faded as the lights grew brighter and brighter until all he could see where Eiri’s eyes… then Eiri's face came back… his shoulders… his body… There right in front of him was Eiri, but they were alone now. Alone and surrounded by white.

“What?”
Shuichi was standing now and he turned a full circle, but there was noting and no one else there. “What is going on?” He faced his lover again and suddenly another question was burning to get out of him, “What happened that day? That’s not the way I remember it.”

“Isn’t it? You remember that from somewhere.”

“But… I…”

Eiri laughed. “You always were a bit slow on the uptake. You ran for the park and were hit by a car. Everything that you think has happened since has only been in your mind.”

Shuichi shook his head vigorously, the anger he had felt toward his one time lover burning suddenly under his skin again. “No, this is some kind of sick joke.”

Eiri sighed and leaned against… well something. He seemed so relaxed and at the same time Shuichi could since an underlying tension.

“You weren’t ready to accept what had happened to you so you created a world where you made one different choice and thus changed the entire course of events.”

“No, that is so…” Shuichi crossed his arms over his chest. “I wouldn’t do something like that. How did I learn English? What about my other band?” His voice was rising with each word and he began waving his hands about as if gesturing to the memories themselves.

“What about the songs I have written? How did I become a totally different person? You don’t just dream things like that!”
Eiri stood up straight again. “You did.” The statement was so simple. There it was, the past six years summed up in two words.
Maybe it was a dream, but how?

“That is so messed up. Why would I do something like that?”

Eiri had closed the distance between them in the blink of an eye and Shuichi was forced to take a step back only to find himself pressed against another invisible wall.

Eiri pressed his chest against Shuichi’s and lowered his head until their lips were just a hair’s breath apart. “It’s your head Shu-han. If you don’t understand it then no one else can be expected to.”

Shuichi felt his chest constricting again. “But…”

“Let go, Shuichi. Give up the pain that you have held onto. That is what has kept you here. You’re doing so well. This last time… me… that was real…” Eiri’s eye’s burned into Shuichi’s.

Shuichi closed his eyes said just what he felt. “You hurt me so bad… I still hurt so much, because… I still love you. No matter how hard I try to stop… I still love you so much.”

He felt a hand on his face and whispering breath passed his ear, “It all comes down to the one thing you have been avoiding all this time. Me.”

“I…”

“Do you love me enough to come back and stay with me? Were you just waking up to say goodbye? How does the story end?”
Shuichi’s mind flashed back to what he remembered having said to Ryuichi. “The story never really ends. Something always happens after it is over.”

“I told you that.”
Shuichi closed his eyes. Eiri’s voice, the real Eiri, flashed into his mind. ‘Why does it matter if the ending is happy or not? Just because you close the book doesn’t mean that something else didn’t happen. Something always happens after the story is over. They don’t ever end, because the sun will always rise on a new day. Besides, I could just write a sequel and kill them all.’

“So now tell me. What are you going to do?” Eiri’s lips fell on Shuichi’s. For an instant he wanted to push the author away, but something told him to cling to that body. It told him to hold on… for dear life.

*

Beep, beep, beep, he hated the sound, but Eiri always laughed at him when he said so. There was something in the author’s face when he made those comments. To him it was a longing, a comfort, and a reassurance… the sound… the beep.
‘But I guess I’ll never know, not really.’

No one else seemed to have a fondness for the sound, but then again no one found it as annoying as Shuichi did.

They had all come to see him in the weeks since his ‘miraculous’ awakening. Of course it didn’t seem very miraculous to Shu. It felt like he had lost something… yet he could not bring himself to tell any of them about his dream.

It was a bit painful for him. He left an entire life behind in that dream world. If nothing else there mattered… he had lost Rick. Rick was a dream, some kind of strange combination of Ryu, Hiro, Maiko, and Eiri. The people he cared most about had still been with him in Rick. As least that is what Shuichi told himself. And even then the imaginary musician was never really able to replace his best friend, his mentor, his sister, and his lover.

It had taken Shu a month to figure that part out, to accept that maybe he didn’t loose Rick, but rather Rick turned back into the real people he had always been based on.

Shuichi shook his head to clear the thought. He was alone for once. It was a rare thing. It seemed that someone had been with him almost constantly since he had woken. There were times that he would wake up and find Eiri just watching him. As if afraid that Shu would suddenly slip back into the coma.

‘To think that I was ready to give up on them… all of them. I wonder… would I have really run away?’

The whole thing was a lot to take in. It really had been six years after all. He had gotten some things in dream right. Maybe it had been his subconscious listening to them talking to him over the years… no, not them… they had all given up on him… all but Eiri…
Shuichi lifted his right hand, as his left was still a bit heavy and sluggish from the stroke, and ran it through his hair. It would take time. All of it would take time. There was still a lot to resolve, doubts, fears, anger… betrayal.

‘Yes it will take time, but fate has a funny way of getting what she wants. She has a way of catching even the most reluctant soul, no matter how hard they try to run away. So after trying so hard to escape the story of my life it begins again,’ he thought ruefully, ‘but Eiri always says that they never really end to begin with.’

Shuichi pulled the journal from his bedside and flipped it open. He had been working on writing down as many of the lyrics from his dream as he could remember, but what he wrote this time was not from his dream. This was new. Carefully he scribed his thoughts onto the page. When he was done he knew what the title had to be:

After “The End”

*

That’s it!!!! But what did I say about stories ending? Something always happens after they are over. Besides, I could always just write a sequel and kill them all. –Smirks evilly-

I know you are all sitting there going, “What the fuck?” Not to worry though, this has a sequels planed for it. So stay tuned for the next two parts of the No Escaping Fate series, Twisting Fate and Changing Fate.