Hakkai's Secret | By : TsuzukiM Category: Gensomaden Saiyuki > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 3026 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki, know the author, or make and money off this story. I do not own any of the characters except the ones I create. |
Wow, I've already posted chapter 14! Krakennight! I've tried to get back in touch with you! Seems like I'm not getting far though. Helliongoddess, I just came across you here and realized I really have to read EVERYTHING you have ever written. Man, you are soooo goood!
So keep up the reviews! They sustain my motivation- thank you all for giving them to me. God I love AFF!
Any ideas where you think you would like this to go? There are some later chapters that are giving me some trouble so... invitation is still open.
It didn’t take long for the little money he’d brought with him to dry up. Hakkai was struggling to come up with money for food. He’d traveled a long time and foregone the comforts of an inn whenever he could. He was used to camping, but the cold winter was always difficult to deal with and he had other things slowing down his body. He at least had the spring to look forward to.
It was getting into early April and it could still be pretty damned cold, even if the days were warmer. Hakuryuu couldn’t stand to stay in his Jeep form while it was cold. Hakkai slept in him when he could, but it was impossible in this weather. Now, it was quite the opposite. Hakkai had one of those new thermal-sleeping bags that were supposed to keep warm to minus a million degrees. It was cozy with the little dragon curled up inside against his chest.
Hakkai had spent some of what little money he had on an elaborate hip harness for his dagger. The belt was thick leather and the scabbard that hung against Hakkai’s thigh had presswork that resembled the articulated designs in the hilt. It also had a yin-yang embossed into it and Hakkai liked to keep the theme. There was a second strap at the bottom that buckled around his thigh, and it kept the dagger from flopping around when he moved.
He could have spent two nights inside for what he’d spent on it. He regretted the decision now, but he got a kick out of it just the same.
“One more month, Hakuryuu and the snow should be behind us. The further south we go, the warmer it will get too.”
He’d already experienced a small climate shift. He’d been steadily heading South, South-West, although not all the time. He’d pretty deliberately gotten lost and had forsaken most maps. Eventually, he would find a place he could settle in.
He was starving. Travel was not kind, especially when you had to eat for two. Hakkai had found himself sympathizing with Goku’s plight a lot. There were days when he had nothing to eat but jerky, and that didn't do a pregnant body justice. He sorely wished for his pastry shop.
“At least I won’t get fat, eh Hakuryuu?”
“Kyuu!”
Days had turned to weeks and Hakkai had not had anybody to talk to- at least not anybody who he could converse with. Dragons, ghosts, daggers and unborn children didn’t make for eloquent conversation, even in the second trimester.
Kanan was with him, but she seemed to stay in the background of his mind. Sometimes, she would speak to him.
More often, she visited him in his dreams.
Despite it all, he felt good. His life force had grown; his Qi Gong had strengthened considerably. There was far more gold in it. Hakkai was beginning to find that if he didn’t practice with it, his energy levels would start to make him uncomfortable. His Qi gong techniques had always been limited by how much energy he could afford to expend without hurting himself. Now, he was doing it because he needed to discharge extra energy. The discomfort came in the form of listless anxiety. He’d start to sweat and that was bad news stranded out doors in the cold.
So many Inns and resources were hard to come by. Hakkai had reacquainted himself with his skills as a pick-pocket and card shark If he hadn’t he wouldn’t even have jerky. He’d always harbored a guilty pleasure in those abilities. Gojyo would be proud.
With no set destination, he lingered here and there in different villages and towns. He never stayed long enough to make friends with people. He didn’t want them to remember his passage. As things progressed, perceptive people had begun to look at him strangely. He knew there would be a time soon when everyone looked at him like that.
He hadn’t even felt the need to cut himself. Hakkai had begun to realize that maybe he was somehow more suited to a life of traveling. He had been at his happiest when things had been at their most adverse. He remembered the journey west fondly. It had taken on a rosy glow that he knew intellectually hadn’t been there. Yet it had probably been the happiest time in his life, no matter how he’d felt at the time. Sanzo had even given him an out, told him he was free to do as he pleased. However, Hakkai had continued on out of more than loyalty to the monk.
Sometimes when he drove, he pretended the rest of them were in the Jeep with him. He could almost feel Sanzo’s presence in the passenger seat beside him. If he stared at the empty seat long enough, it was like his ghost was there, arms crossed, napping. He could imagine that at any moment Gojyo and Goku would start screaming at each other like little children in the back. As annoying as those arguments could be, Hakkai would pay money to hear them now.
But such thoughts inevitably brought on loneliness and Hakkai had to stuff them away. He was determined to move forward. He had a life other than his own to look after and he didn’t want to screw it up. He needed to find someplace suitable to settle down for a while.
His stomach growled. The child turned over and made Hakkai want to barf. He almost ran Hakuryuu off the road when it happened. He just couldn’t seem to get used to the idea that another being could affect him so suddenly from the inside out. He swore the child communicated directly with his body when he wanted something. One would think nausea and appetite were naturally opposed- but not for Hakkai.
“Why do you do that to me? You know I’d eat if I had it!”
The scenery had changed. He was no longer in a forested area. The forest had given way to a semi-mountainous region and Hakkai recognized the symptoms. There was probably a desert ahead. The brush was thinning and the sand and rock increasing. He decided to stop at the next town he came across to ask which direction was the best for aimless travelers.
Tired and happy to be done driving for the night, Hakkai thought he had enough money on him to buy a bed for the night. He allowed Hakuryuu to transform and shouldered his pack before climbing the steps to the first Inn he saw that looked cheap enough.
Hakkai was surprised as hell to find a limiter-free youkai female at the front desk. The population had changed with the scenery, and this could only mean he was near one of the few remaining youkai villages. He had already been suspicious. It seemed he was in and area dominated by youkai. Even so, for them to wander and conduct business without limiters had become rare. Only those who lived in all youkai villages or youkai Lords went without them. She looked up at him from her magazine and scowled. Hakkai got the impression he had ruined her quiet time.
“I’d like a room for the night?” Hakkai said pleasantly. He flashed to her a delicate smile; the one meant to charm women. He had learned a few things from Gojyo.
Her eyes drifted up and down his body for a moment and then she opened her guest registry.
“Name,” she said blandly.
“Cho Hakkai. By the way, is there a desert near here?”
Cat slit eyes flicked his way for a second. “Well you’re not from around here,” she mumbled. She was young and had a lip ring. Hakkai couldn’t help himself from staring at it. She had many uncountable piercings running almost to the end of her pointed ears. “Yes, a huge one. If your heading anywhere towards the west you’ll hit it.”
“No, I’m traveling South West.”
She blew out a long whistle as she filled out her paperwork. “Have fun, you’ve got a choice and it isn’t too good.”
Hakkai looked at her quizzically. “What’s my choice?”
Either I’m taking you back to fix this little problem or you can run.
She didn’t notice Hakkai grimace and stop to rub his face. He was still having flash backs at odd moments.
“Which is shorter?”
“Well through it, obviously. You aren’t too bright are you? But that way is dangerous. The desert is at least a thousand miles across and there is only one stop on the way through. You have to take a tram, and its expensive .It’s cheaper to go around.”
“Is it much longer?”
“Yeah, it sucks, it will take you weeks to do it, but it’s safer. Unless… you want to see the Oasis.”
“Well, I guess I’m not in a rush. What’s the Oasis?”
The demon girl smiled at him for the first time. “If you haven’t been there it might just be worth the trip- since you’re a demon.”
Hakkai’s eyes narrowed. Youkai were generally good at spotting their own kind, limiters or no. “Why’s that?”
“You’ve never heard of it?” she said, truly seeming aghast.
“No.”
“Wow, you must have come from a long way away. Its like, the demon capital of the world! A lot of us were born there- I was! The Karasu control the Oasis. A lot of us moved out here though.” She didn’t sound particularly pleased to have moved out here.
Hakkai’s curiosity was piqued, and a little sightseeing seemed a good idea. “Youkai capital of the world? It sounds interesting. Where is it?”
“Out in the middle of the desert of course! GEEEZ! Where did you think it was? Haven’t you been listening?”
Hakkai was becoming annoyed with her. Her attitude was grating on the last few nerves he had. However, his pleasant smile remained fixed.
“I’m a traveler. I’ve never heard of it before,” he said flatly. But she had piqued his interest. Something about the great demon city in the desert rang a bell in his mind. He thought he might have actually heard of it before and just didn’t remember. Just hearing of its existence made Hakkai want to see it. The dagger at his hip pinged him and he got the feeling it wanted to go too.
“Well, it’s in the middle of the desert. Most people who pass through here are either going there or coming back. If you are just looking to pass through, it’s not worth the danger. If you want to go there, it’s worth it.”
“What’s the danger?”
Hakkai was intrigued. Despite himself, genuine curiosity crept into his voice.
“Humans of coarse!”
“Humans?” Hakkai said, nonplussed. The statement was an inversion of a lifetime of experience.
“I know, you wouldn’t think humans could be such a problem but they just can’t stand that demons can have such a great city as the Oasis! They are hell bent on destroying it. But that will never happen.”
“You sound sure.”
She waved at him dismissively, but she became more animated the more she talked about it “Yeah, well, we’ve been dealing with them for years and they haven’t been able to destroy the city yet. They are just pesky humans. Sometimes they cause the caravans trouble. There are obake demons too.”
“Are there a lot of youkai out here?”
She looked at him and rolled her eyes, “Yeah! We are mostly youkai out here. You know, you really don’t need to wear limiters out here. The humans who live here are used to us, and we own pretty much everything any way.”
“We do?”
“Well, the Karasu own the outposts, and control most of the towns like this one. What kind of demon are you?”
Hakkai wasn’t sure how to answer. He didn’t think it prudent to tell her he was a Taijiya. It probably wouldn’t go over well. He wasn’t really sure what kind of demon he was. Despite his years with Gojyo, and all he’d been through he only had a rudimentary awareness that there were different races of youkai.
“I’m kind of a mix.”
She scowled at him. “I guess we can’t all be high bred. You look like a higher youkai though.”
“Aw, well, I get that a lot.”
Her eyes narrowed at him again, “This is going to sound very strange and I’m going out on a limb here but- are you a man or a woman?”
Hakkai blinked at her. It took more than his usual control to not be openly insulted by the question. “I’m a man, why?”
“Ah, oh, nothing, nothing. Here’s your room key!” She blushed, suddenly seeming embarrassed. “Forget I asked!”
Hakkai took the key. Sensitive people had been looking at him strangely more and more often. He supposed he’d better get used to it. He wasn’t entirely sure how people were going to react to him as things moved towards their inevitable conclusion.
Am I really that odd looking?He realized some hurt had come through his voice and he cursed himself inwardly.
Hakkai took the key from her and studied it, feeling more than a little awkward. His condition wasn’t big enough that his clothing couldn’t hide it easily. The problem was the super strong aura his son had was becoming blatantly obvious and his scent was a broadcasting his condition to other youkai. Damn youkai pheromones…
The way the Innkeeper looked at him was not lost on him. He’d already been accused of androgyny in the past- but this was a whole ‘nother level.
He was getting damned uncomfortable with the whole thing. He could feel the blood run to his face.
Have to get used to this, or get used to having to rip people’s heads off on a regular basis. One way or the other, I can’t hide it forever.
Hakkai sunk into a soft bed before the sun was completely gone from the sky. Hakuryuu squeezed his body up under his arm and purred softly. Hakkai ran his hand along the soft curve of his belly.
He’d eaten too much. Eating until he was overstuffed was becoming a routine whenever he had the money and the opportunity. His stomach was over full and it kept growling and making noises. It was uncomfortable. Of course, this made the child active and between the two, Hakkai had little hope of sleeping until things inside him calmed down.
Tired as he was, he smiled to himself. He had made so many mistakes, and taken so many lives. Often he’d questioned the wisdom of his very existence. He could take a life in a nanosecond. Giving it was a lot more complicated. Somehow, there was redemption in Hakkai’s new found love.
As awful as he had made things for himself, even in retrospect he couldn’t say that he would have don’t anything different. No matter what detail he changed in his mind, he couldn’t fathom a different outcome. The Goddess had changed everything. Even as Hakkai loathed her for it, he wouldn’t have changed his decision now. He could only curse her for having given him a choice and made him responsible for the whole mess. There was a downside to implied consent.
If his friends couldn’t understand, nothing could change that either.
Hakkai ran his finger tips lightly across his stomach. There was no hope for it. In the beginning he had cursed this presence, wished it away, entertained thoughts of killing it, back when Hakkai could still call him “it.” He had felt such regret and anxiety his life had become a misery.
He was away from that now. He didn’t owe anybody anything except for this little one. The baby had become all he had. He had someone to protect, and this child had inherited one hell of a guardian. Hakkai gently wrapped all of his emotions around the baby. The small aura responded, and it threatened to overwhelm Hakkai’s aura. There was just so much raw power…
From now on, everything is for you.
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