The Spring Of Drowned Thief

One Way Ticket

Akane was leaning on the rail of the boat every one was on. Looking at the water made her forget about every thing wrong at the moment. The only thing was that all her thoughts would come back to one defining point. She was now stuck on a boat with a bunch of psychos. Family included. No one was getting along, except the usual. The Amazon’s kept to them selves, Kasumi was with Doctor Tofu always trying to spend as much time as possible with him. It was a shock to every one that the good doctor was on the boat heading out for a vacation. Kasumi didn’t seem surprised at all by it. In fact it was like she knew. The Kuno’s and Hikaru spent some time together, but it wasn’t for fun and games. Kodachi always sent him on errands, while Kuno used him like a living dummy, which is all the creep was really good for, but other then that he kept his nose in his weird books. Nabiki was always below deck playing cards with the sailors and using some things that Ranma had taught her. Soun had found out that he gets seasick easily and spent all him time in the cabin. Normally Akane would go do something with Ryouga if he wasn’t some where in the engine room trying to figure out why all the trees in the forest were made of metal. That only left Nodoka to talk to, but all she wanted to do was sit, have tea, and talk about Ranma, which was exactly what Akane didn’t want to talk about. So she watched the port in silence, thinking about how to not think about Ranma. It was annoying really and as every second passed she needed to hit some thing more and more. She decided to go seek out Kuno for once, and give her undying gratitude for the first-class cruise, by ramming his head through the hull.

On her way to the Kuno quarters, she thought back on what Nabiki and Mousse had brought back from the institute. It boarded along nothing and nil. There was a small report on Ranma, but nothing major. He was depressed, suicidal, had mood swings while alone and pretty much every thing that he’d said in his fake journal plus a few other conditions that couldn’t come to mind... The reports did say that he only got worse since he got their, but since he was self committed, he could leave on his own accord, which he did. It seemed odd to her that he was self committed, due to the long tear stained talk they had, but it was somewhere in the middle of the mountain of odd things every one had found out. This basically meant that Nabiki now had two new filing cabinets, purely out of annoyance. Akane was about to knock on the Kuno door, but a note was posted on it. ‘Currently Training Below Deck. Do Not Disturb Unless It Is Either An Emergency, Or The Fair Akane Tendo Whom Wishes To Gaze Upon My Manliness.’

Akane’s eye twitched a little, but she started making her way down. Once there she was shocked to see almost ever one crammed into the training hall. Kuno and Nodoka were facing off in the center. Nabiki was taking bets, while the others either watched, or did their own thing. Kasumi and Tofu were off in a corner close to a buffet drinking tea. Tofu was on constant fog alert. The amazons and Ryouga seemed to be some thing of their own which looked like some intense training. Hikaru was in another corner switching between the show and his books. Kodachi was nowhere to be seen, which was good new for every one. No body really wanted her around any ways, but she was bound to show up eventually, with another attempt at Akane’s life. Taken back by the site that she wasn’t invited too, she grew an angry look on her face and went to the sidelines of the Kuno vs. Soatome face off.
“Be wary, oh, fair witch. Just because you reek of beauty I shall not go easy on you.” Kuno finished with a flashy pose.

Nodoka finished tying her hair in a bun and pulled out a training bokken. “Can it junior. I won’t stand for such a young man to show such disrespect. And if you are making a pass at me, I’m flattered, but I’m much to old for you.”

“I STRIKE!” Kuno started things off with a flurry of fast forward strikes. Nodoka defended against them all and managed to tag him in the ribs. “ACK! You show talent my fair lady!”

“And you show none. Now fight like you mean it. If this is what my Ranma has to deal with, I fear that his skills as a fighter would only diminish with each fight against you. You’re form is sloppy and you drag your feet!”

“HA! You shall be eating those very words in a matter of moments!”

Kuno started his onslaught once again. He attacked with a series of upper and lower slashes, but nothing got through to the woman. He found it necessary to try out his new Kamakazi move. He stepped back and leapt into the air and pointed his bokken downward for a knock out blow. “This is where you fall, my lady!”

Nodoka simply sidestepped as he came down and planted the hilt of her bokken into Kuno’s jaw with an upward hilt strike. The blow was hard enough to send Kuno back into the air, but in the other direction. He probably would have flow for a few feet, but he was forced down instantly with a powerful downward slash, which covered the length of his body. The loud thud along with the impact mark said that Kuno was defeated. Nodoka put a foot on his chest and the bokken tip near his chin. “Now what have you learned young man?”

Kuno stared up wide-eyed at the middle-aged woman. He got himself out from under her foot and into and very humble bowing position with his head against the ground. “I have learned that you are a goddess in the art of sword play! Please! Teach me more Sensei! I beg you! Teach me!”

Nodoka smiled. “Ok, junior, but this time with out the poetry. I’m going to carve you into a perfect swords man. I can’t have my Ranma facing weaklings.”

Kuno started to repeatedly bow while crying. “Thank you sensei! Thank you!”

“Good. You show respect. Now pick up your stick and lets make a real man out of you.”

Nabiki was happily collecting her currency, while sailors went off to find some thing productful to do. Akane walked away feeling satisfied with not having to scrape her fists over Kuno. She went over to where Ryouga was fighting two amazons while Cologne watched. “Hello Akane. Came to spar with us too have you?”

“No thanks. Auntie just relieved my stress for me.”

Cologne chuckled. “Feeling anxious, child?”

Akane bowed her head a bit. “Yeah… I can’t wait to get into China and find Ranma. I guess it just feels like we’re moving too slow.”

Cologne smiled. “Oh, I remember being young and in love… The world seems to move too fast or too slow when you’re with the one you love. I’m almost glad that you and my granddaughter aren’t an item any more. Were we come from, honor is every thing and that’s why I tried to make it stay.”

Akane smiled a bit. “Who knew a piñata beating contest would have solved every thing?”

“Please don’t bring that up child… Still, I wouldn’t mind to have Ranma as an Amazon. He has quite a bit of energy surrounding him. You don’t see that a lot any more. It’s mostly just a bunch of body builders in silly costumes these days.”

Akane looked on as Ryouga struggled in a power battle against Shampoo and Mousse. Both had one of his hands trying to over power him, but he was the one pushing them back. Akane pointed. “What about Ryouga? How’s the energy around him?”

Cologne smiled. “I hope you don’t have any plans with him…”

Akane smiled as well. “I do actually, but it’s Ranma you have to worry about. But how is it?”

“I don’t think he realizes it like Ranma does his own power, but Ryouga here has a large amount of potential. I think I can have him using Ki attacks in under a week, but I’m going to do some thing simple like a breaking point technique or some thing. As soon as he can start using one ki attack, he’ll be able to start using many.”

“What’s a breaking point technique?”

“He’ll be able to shatter rocks with his finger.”

“Must be pretty dangerous.”

“No... It only works on rocks.”

Akane raised an eyebrow. “So what’s the point in teaching him?”

Cologne looked at Akane with a large toothy smile. “It builds character, but wait until you see what he has to do to master it.”

“Is it bad?”

“It’s comical more then any thing. Think he can take large boulders in the face?”

“That’s cruel…”

“I’ll make him tougher. I went through it once myself. I’ve been dying to make some one else go through the training for a long time now.”

“That’s still cruel. How are Shampoo and Mousse getting along these days? I haven’t seen him cling onto her in a while.”

Cologne kept her smile. “You know child… It may seem odd to you, but the women of my tribe find a man they like and make his life a living hell. I’m proud to say that my granddaughter excels at this feat.”

Akane looked down at the old woman with a raised eyebrow. “That IS odd. But is Mousse giving up or something?”

“No. He’s finally decided to give her some space. It’s bringing them closer together.”

“Weird…”

“Can you do me a favor child?”

“Sure, what do you need?”

“I want you to join Shampoo and Mousse over there with the fight against Ryouga.”

“I guess I can… Why though?”

Cologne bowed her head. “As much as I’d like to say one from my tribe is strongest, it’s not true. We know Ranma’s power, and I’d rather be safe then sorry when we get there. Ryouga has so much power in him, but his speed is lacking. That’s why I’m giving him more opponents. I want that Kuno boy over here as well, soon.”

Akane shrugged her shoulders. “Ok, I just hope he doesn’t him me hard… Hey! Where’s Ukyo?”

“She’ll be here in a little bit to fight Ryouga as well. She’s just working the concession stand up top right now.”

“I was wondering where she disappeared too. Well, wish me luck.”


Later that day, Ryouga laid on a bed moaning as Akane entered with an ice pack. “Sorry… I didn’t mean to kick you there…”

Ryouga took the ice bag and gently placed it on his crotch. “Ugh… Don’t worry about it… Just be more careful next time…”

“But you were amazing! You were fighting all five of us at once! How did you get so strong?”

“I eat my greens. Well, actually, I think I was just born with it. A lot of things run in my family.”

“Like your sense of direction?”

“That especially runs in my family. I haven’t actually seen my parents in about 6 years. They were always ‘around’ but actually ‘seeing’ them was a different story. They call me a lot because I can’t really write to them. The postman usually gives up after 2 weeks of searching.”

“What would you do if you found them again?”

“Probably handcuff myself to them. I really miss seeing them… My dad’s a really fun guy. Taught me almost every thing I know.”

“What did your mother teach you?”

“How to treat a lady properly and give her the respect she deserves.”

Akane smiled then slowly leaned down and gave him a kiss on his forehead. “She did a good job. I’m going to go for a walk. Want me to bring you back any thing?”

Ryouga was bright red and busy concentrating on holding in a nosebleed to give her an answer. “How about some food?”

Ryouga plugged his nose and nodded with a nervous grin. As Akane left the room she almost started laughing out loud. ‘He’s so easy to bug. I think I see why Ranma likes him so much… Ranma… That big jerk… What have you gotten yourself into this time?’


One of those nights… It has potential to be beautiful, but there are too many things wrong in the eyes of the looker. The clouds covered the stars from a great sight. Another nightly party between rich people trying to get in each other’s wallets. Food that was more art then tasteful. A luxury cruise to China with nothing interesting to do.

“I still can’t believe it though…”

“What’s so hard to believe? It IS Kuno. Of coarse he’d pull some thing like this.”

“Yeah, but we need to get to China NOW. I didn’t come here for a romantic cruise and to ‘date with him’.”

“Well, the sights are kind of nice. You just have to think about is as me leading the way through a winding road. You just have to have patients.”

“I don’t have that kind of patience. There’s nothing to do. Even training is getting boring.”

“You could always ‘date with Kuno’.”

“Hmmm, bad poetry, gazing at his manliness, a constant onslaught of unwanted groping, gee sounds exciting. Have you got rocks in your head Ryouga?”

Ryouga slugged down onto the railing. “I was joking. You don’t have to be mean about it.”

Akane ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. “Yeah, I know. Sorry, but I just wish some thing would happen; all these rich people are boring. All they talk about are politics, money, and compare the level of education their kids have. Really? Does any one care about this?”

“Yeah, I guess so. You should try just lying down and thinking one of these days. Always helped me pass the time, and I got figure things out.”

“When do you lie down and just think?”

“Usually when I’m lost in the woods, shouting undying vengeance against Ranma or some thing.”

“You still do that?”

“Old habits die hard...”

“I see…”


Mousse decided to walk into the scene at this point, well not so much walk in, more hang upside down from the above deck and scare the crap out of Ryouga and Akane. “I got some thing for you guys.”

WACK!

“Don’t do that!”

Mousse, not being a stranger to being clobbered by a woman, continued on as if nothing happened. “Nabiki and I found out some thing you guys might like.”

“Who has my sister blackmailed this time?”

“A sailor that we found in the mess hall. He likes wearing women’s underwear, especially the lacy stuff, but that’s not it.”

Ryouga and Akane both blinked at that, but decided to shrug it off and wait for the real answer. “Ranma might be on this ship.”

Akane grabbed him and pulled Mousse down into a standing position. “Really!? Where is he!?”

Mousse shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t have a clue, but there’s been a suspicious character wandering around the ship.”

Ryouga crossed his arms and gave a disapproving look. “That doesn’t mean its him though, does it? It could be any one.”

Mousse pointed his eyes towards Ryouga. “How many young women have you seen in Japan with red hair? She was seen climbing the smoke stack a while ago. I can only think it’s him. Nabiki says he’s up to some thing.”

Akane rolled her eyes. “Of coarse he’s up to some thing. Any idea what it is?”

Mousse adjusted his glasses a bit and gave them a quick clean. “Well, we found out that this ship is carrying a pretty precious artifact. It’s called the Phoenix Crest. Remember any words on our list?”

Ryouga kept his arms crossed and looked up at the cloudy night sky. “Yeah, yeah. Phoenix. What is the Phoenix crest any ways?”

“Again, I don’t have a clue, but we’re about to ask the old prune. Come over to our cabin. We’ll talk there.”


Ryouga scratched his head and thought it out. “So, basically it’s a token of life, death, and rebirth?”

“That is right child. It’s quite a treasure with remarkable powers if used properly. It’s not some thing I would want Ranma to have in his possession.”

Nabiki crossed her legs and put her head back in her seat. “Well, it’s having a viewing later on tonight, towards midnight. It’ll be pretty pointless to try and stop him from taking it. He WILL get it if he wants it.”

Akane gave Nabiki a lazy look. “I don’t care about the treasure, I want Ranma.”

Ryouga bowed his head with a smile and gave a grumbled laugh. “Heh! Good luck with that one. To catch him is some thing that can’t be done by us. He’s been evading the international police with ease for the last two months and is pretty much a ghost when he wants to be. Chances are, he’s already got the crest and he’s in hiding right now. 100 yen says that the crest has been replaced with some thing when it’s unveiled.”

Mousse gave him a funny look. “What would he replace it with?”

Nabiki interrupted before Ryouga could say any thing. “Wait. He’s been evading the international police, AND he’s been living at our place?”

Ryouga nodded. “Yup. He’s gotten his hands on some national treasures and quite a few documents that could cause wide-spread conspiracy.”

Nabiki put her hands behind her head. “Like?”

Ryouga thought back. “I’m pretty sure he knows who killed that American president, Kennedy. Various black lists and videos of government decisions causing war. Pearl Harbor. Pretty much any thing you can put a conspiracy theory on. I swear, if that guy let that information leak, half the world would be at war right now.”

“And how do you know this?”

Ryouga went bright red. “Uhhh…! Errrr….. Lets not get into this…”

Akane nudged him. “C’mon tell us. He never mentioned any of this to me.”

“Look, I don’t want to explain. We’re best friends, we tell each other things.”

Nabiki got a huge grin on her face. “What’s wrong Ryouga? You look all sweaty. It seems like a weird thing to just talk about.”

“I said I don’t want to explain!”

Mousse smiled catching some thing in Nabiki’s voice. “You’re backed into a corner now. You have to tell us man.”

“It’s none of your damn business!”

Akane came in close to his ear. “You must have done some thing pretty nice, for Ranma to tell you stuff like that…”

“You where there too, when she was talking about it!”

“Oh, Ranma was a girl when he told you? Why was he a girl?”

“WILL YOU GUYS LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!?”

Nabiki turned her chair and started poking Ryouga in the ribs with her foot. “You three didn’t DO any thing did you? Say October 14th?”

Ryouga’s head started vibrating and it damn near exploded when Akane went wide-eyed and said. “Wait! I thought you said we didn’t do any thing!?”

Nabiki smiled and almost started giggling. “I say a lot of things. And this time I’ll say, it was probably pillow talk afterwards.”

Every one looked up at Ryouga bent the steel door open and ran out. He managed to find a shower in record time and the hot water was on full blast. A prayer could be heard amongst the sound of the scolding hot water and steam. Akane broke the silence with, “Wow… I never knew I had it in me…”

Nabiki added absently. “You had two in you actually...”

Mousse just so happened to be sipping tea at that point, which shot across the cabin. Cologne had a disgusted look on her face as she pogo-ed out. “KIDS THESE DAYS!”

There was a silence, which consisted of nothing being said for a few moments, while all that could be heard was the prayer from within the shower room down that hall. Mousse had to ask for the sake of talking again. “Does any one know why he does that?”

“With the hot water?”

“Yeah.”
“No idea, but I think he simulating the cold waterfall punishment, but doesn’t want to turn into a pig.”

Akane bobbed her mouth a few times oblivious to Mousse and Nabiki. “Two…!? Who talked me into THAT?”

Nabiki looked over her shoulder and at her sister. “Not sure, but in case you’re wondering, Ranma was a girl the entire time.”

“….wow…. I have no idea what to say to that.”

“Slut.”

“Normally, I’d object, but that pretty much sums up my self image right now…”

“I got a few items and connections that you might-“

“No…”

“Well, I’m just saying that Ryouga seems like the type of guy that would like-“

“No…”

“Are you sure you don’t want to-“

“No…”

“I’m just saying, some people like those kinds of parties and-“

“I said no!”

“…”

“…”

“Wanna watch the tape?”

“…”

“Akane?”

“Get the hell out Mousse…”


Akane laid on her bed with her arms spread out staring at the ceiling. Taking Ryouga’s advice, she was just thinking. Thinking about how Ranma was going to get the crest. Thinking about what was going to happen when they finally cornered him. Thinking about that damn video. “Wow…”

Ryouga was on the bed across from her with his face down in the pillow, still trying to get over his embarrassment. “What’s wow?”

“I wish I could remember, it looked like I was really enjoying myself…”

Ryouga twitched and his pillow started staining red. “Uuuhhhhh….”

“My first time with a guy, and Ranma made me forget it…”

“Uuuhhhhh….”

Ryouga tried to drown his embarrassment, but every thing came back in full force when he felt hands on his back. “Hey, Ryouga?”

“EEK!”

“Don’t be nervous around me. Just answer me some thing…”

“Er… Ok…”

“Why didn’t you mention that we did the deed? Why hide it?”

Ryouga’s entire body started vibrating. “I-I-I, just d-didn’t want you to get mad at me… It was a real spur of the moment kind of thing.”

Ryouga’s nervousness only got worse when he felt the bed sink as another body came onto it and lay beside him. His heart skipped a few beats as Akane wrapped her hands around Ryouga. “I’m not mad… I really like you and you’re an awesome friend. I’m just wondering if there were any other things that happened that I should know about.”

Ryouga shook his head violently trying not to think about her hands on his shoulders. “N-nothing else happened… I just tried to cheer you up a lot.”

“Why are you so nervous around me?”

“I… I’ve never been good around women…”

“What about Ranma, when he’s a girl? You’re not nearly this tense.”

Ryouga curled up a bit as if in shame. “When Ranma’s a guy or a girl, they’ll always give me courage. That talk we had. He said that when he’s a guy treat him like he’s a guy, and when he’s a girl treat her like a girl. I guess you just don’t tense up around your best friend, even if they give you reasoning like that. I’ve known him a lot longer then you, so I guess I’m just more comfortable around him then you.”

“That kind of hurt.”

“S-sorry… I didn’t mean it that way… I really like you and that’s why I tense up…”

Ryouga tensed once again when he heard Akane giggle. He kept on his stomach with his face down on the pillow chattering his teeth. “I know the perfect cure for that then…”

Before Ryouga could ask what it was, he felt the weight on the bed disappear for a brief second, and then return on top of him. He was once again about to get a few words out, but his shirt flew off on it’s own accord. “W-w-what!?”

He heard Akane giggle again. “Now hold still, you’re going to love this.”

“Huh?”

POP CRACK CRUNCH!

“ARGH! THAT HUR- Hey… My back feels great…!”

Another giggle could be heard. “Good. You’re lucky. Ranma gave me these all the time and taut me all about how to give a good massage. I’ll have you drooling in a matter of seconds!”

“Ooooo! Ahhh! Yeah! Right there! Grak… Humuna humuna humuna...”

“See? You’re loosening up already.”

“Uuuuunnnn….”

“So are we going to the unveiling thing at midnight?”

Swish Swish

“Gaahhh… Y-yeah, I guess so. Think, ahhh! He’s on the ship?”

“Wouldn’t surprise me, but why do you think he wants the Phoenix Crest?”

“Heck, I dooOOOOOOn’t know. You’re the oOONNnne that said weeEEE should just wait and see.”

“So are you going to show me a good time tonight?”

Akane smiled as the once soft back turned rock hard under her therapeutic hands. “Is this a yes, or a no? I can never really tell.”

“Uhhh… Gahhh… Uhhh…”

“You’re going to have to start using real words Ryouga…”

“Y-y-y-y-y-y-yeah… S-s-s-sure…”

“Why do you have to be so nervous? Geez, you treat me like I have lobsters crawling out of my head.”

Ryouga tensed again, but this time it was because of a small laugh. “S-sorry… I don’t go out a lot… Especially with… ummm… good looking women…”

“How many dates have you been on?”

“….Uhhh… well… none actually…”

“But you have spontaneous encounters of sex?”

Ryouga went bright red and tensed once again. “I-I’m sorry! That was the first time any thing like that ever…. well… happened!”

“I’m just teasing you. Even though this is our first date, I won’t forgive you for treating me badly!”

Ryouga turned over in a flash with determined eyes. “I’d never mistreat- Uhh…” Ryouga’s attention was caught by a series of things when he turned over. The main one was that Akane had only a pair of pants and a bra on, when she had discarded her shirt was a mystery. The other thing that caught his attention, was the position he had put himself in when he swiftly rolled over. If Nabiki had been in the general area with a camera, she could be doing some serious blackmail right now. Ryouga’s brain did the only thing it knew it could do right now. Flush out the holding tanks and reset the system. Akane watched with a curious eye, as Ryouga looked into her eyes, then into her other set, and finally down. The process was complete with a look back up at the eyes, a stupid smile, a nosebleed, and a black out.

“…”

“Gak…”

“I think I’ll take this as a compliment. I don’t know why though…”


Meanwhile in Ryouga’s head.

“Hey, Tony! How are those coolant tanks coming along?”

“Almost done refilling, how’s the power grid?”

“It’s taking its time as usual. This has been happening a lot lately, huh?”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. Wanna go see what Jim’s doing after this? He said a new movies playing at the Dream Theater.”

“Hell yeah! I hope it’s another episode of Doctor Ryouga Wang Johnson, and his Stethoscope of Loooove.”

“I hear ya.”


Later that night at the entrance to the party lounge.

“Ugh! I can’t believe that guy some times!”

“Hey, it’s a great dress though. It brings out your lines and curves very nicely. I say we just let it slide this time and forget to return the dresses.”

“But still! How did he get my measurements!? That kind of information is sacred!”

Nabiki smiled as Ryouga could be seen walking down the deck with a blind man and his dog. “Yeah, I know. You wouldn’t believe the pay out from it though…”

“Yeah, I gues- HEY!”

Nabiki took that moment to slip through the door in into the sea of rich people. Ryouga arrived with his guide while Akane fumed. “Sorry it took so long, I got lost again…” Ryouga turned to the blind man. “Thanks for showing me the way sir, much appreciated.”

The blind man smiled as he walked through the door. “No problem kid. Any ways, I got a show to do, so if you’ll excuse me.”

Akane smiled, “So who was that? He looked familiar…”

“He said his name was Stevie. I hear he’s good at playing the piano. Well, shall we?”

Akane wanted to laugh at Ryouga’s shaking arm. His face said confidence, while every thing else said, he was nervous. She smiled and took his arm; she leaned in close to his ear. “Just relax, ok? I want to have fun, and we can’t if you’re all tense.”

“R-right!” Ryouga walked in with his legs as stiff as boards. Akane just smiled and shook her head a little. ‘Hopefully, he’ll relax…’


Stevie sat at his piano and the band started playing before he touched the electric keyboard. Ryouga nodded as he found that this piano player had a hell of a voice as well.

“Very superstitious, writing\'s on the wall.
Very superstitious, ladder\'s \'bout to fall.
Thirteen-month-old baby broke the looking glass.
Seven years of bad luck, the good things in your past.
When you believe in things that you don\'t understand, then you suffer.
Superstition ain\'t the way.
Hey, hey, hey.”

Akane started to move and soon she had Ryouga by the hands dragging him to the dance floor. “C’mon! I want to dance!”

“B-b-b-b-but I c-c-can’t dance…”

“Yes, you can, you just don’t know it.”

Akane was surprised to see that Doctor Tofu and Kasumi had beaten them there, but that was still a good thing. Off on the sidelines Kuno was looking for the fair Akane Tendo to dance with, surly no one here would even dare to go near her with him around. Deep in his heart he had a place set aside for the glory of funk and soul, he couldn’t help but sway and dance his way through the crowd. His groove almost stopped when he noticed his sister dearest swaying hips with the school nerd, he couldn’t help but intervene. “What is the meaning of this!?”

“Why what do you mean brother dearest?”

Kuno pointed an accusing finger at Hikaru. “THIS, is what I mean! What are you doing with this master of the dark arts?”

“Hmph! This worm doesn’t know how to dance, so I am merely practicing with him so as I may dance with my wonderful Ranma one day.”

Kuno eyed them both up, but saw it as a lost cause to continue, he was on a mission and had to seek out the lovely Akane Tendo. His hips went back onto auto pilot and the hunt was on.


“Wow, you ARE bad at dancing.”

“Sorry… I never thought I’d have to dance one day…”

Akane sighed, “Ok. I hope you’re a fast learner because you’re about to get a crash coarse.”

“Huh?”


“Ooh, very superstitious, wash your face and hands.
Rid me of the problem, do all that you can.
Keep me in a daydream, keep me goin\' strong.
You don\'t wanna save me, sad is my song.
When you believe in things that you don\'t understand, then you suffer.
Superstition ain\'t the way.
Hey, hey, hey.”

“Oh, my! Doctor Tofu, I didn’t know you were so well on your feet. When did you learn how to dance?”

“Kasumi-chan! Ahhh…! Thank you…! Y-y-you’re great at dancing too!”

‘Tee hee hee. No Betty to run to this time…’

“Show me that thrust again doctor?”

“Ahhh….! Ok!”


“Ahh! Nabiki Tendo. I am inquiring about a dance with-“

“Oh, fine! But this is going to cost you. I’m not cheap to dance with.”

“But, I-“

“Lets go. We’ll talk about a price after.”

“But- Argh!”

“Stop dragging your feet, and watch your hands.”

“Ok… No! I mean to-“

“Yeah, more like that. You have to move all over to this kind of music.”

‘Oh, what the hell…’ “I’ll show you my true moves now, oh, sly Nabiki Tendo!”

“Good!”


“Wow! Look at Kuno go! If only he were as good at fighting with a stick.”

“That’s great Ryouga, now I advise you learn a thing or two. I want you to use a couple of those moves.”

“Even THAT one?”

“Yes, especially THAT one.”

“I don’t want to seem like a pervert though…”

“That’s not even the tip of the iceberg Ryouga…”

“Please don’t mention iceburges while I’m on a huge ship… I have a phobia about that…”


“Is it really appropriate for us to dance Nodoka? I mean, what would the kids think?”

“Look, I haven’t had a night out with a good man in almost 20 years Soun. I just want to have fun and dance for a while.”

“20 years? What about Genma?”

“Please don’t mention him… It pains me… And I said a GOOD man.”

“I see…”

“Now show me your moves!”

“ACK!”


“So, tell me, worm. How would I make a knock out grenade that only effects males?”

“E-explosive, or aerosol?”

“Aerosol.”

“W-well…”


“Very superstitious, nothing more to say.
Very superstitious, the devil\'s on his way.
Thirteen-month-old baby broke the looking glass.
Seven years of bad luck, the good things in your past.
When you believe in things that you don\'t understand, then you suffer.
Superstition ain\'t the way.
Hey, hey, hey.
Very superstitious.”


“How am I doing now?”

“Great! Oh, and don’t forget to do the pelvic thrust every so often.”

“Right! Hey, where’s Ukyo? I haven’t seen her all day.”

“Why?”

“I’m just worried. All she does is work and train, I’ve never seen her going out and enjoying herself.”

“Think she likes other girls like me? You know, how she dresses and all.”

“No, she’s pretty hell-bent on Ranma. I think its abandonment issues.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Boys don’t cry.”

“Oh… Wanna go find her?”

“What are you planning Akane?”

“I heard Gloria Estafan is coming on next.”

“And?”

“CONGA LINE!”

Ryouga smiled and broke out laughing. “I love it! Let’s go get her before the song starts!”

The announcer came on stage and adjusted his huge tie with a million dollar smile. “That was Stevie
Wonder ladies and gentlemen, another big round of applause.” The crowd went into an uproar and the cheering didn’t stop as Ryouga and Akane snuck out the entrance. “I forgot to ask, where did you get the tux Ryouga?”

“It’s Ranma’s.”

“Ranma has a tux?”

“You wouldn’t believe his wardrobe…”

“Funny… I’ve never really seen him where any thing but a Chinese shirt and sweat pants…”

“I know. I guess he likes to be prepared.”

“Must be… Your measurements are pretty close.”

“Yeah, it’s kinda snug though.”

“Don’t worry, you got a nice butt Ryouga.”

“grak!”


A good-looking waitress was passing by one of the tables and stopped when she noticed some thing wrong. “Hey, what’s a good looking guy like you doing just sitting here? Don’t you have some one to dance with?”

Mousse scratched his head. “Well… Kinda… I just don’t know how to ask her…”
The waitress almost lost her tray of dishes. “What!? But Gloria Estafan is coming on in a few seconds! You HAVE to dance! Where is she!?”

Mousse pointed over in Shampoo’s direction. The waitress sighed as she saw that it was the new part timer from China. She looked back down at Mousse. “Just give me a second… I think I can help you.”

”Really!?”

“Yes! Now lay low for a few second. You’ll know when to act.”

“Uhhh, ok.”


“Hiya! Hoowa!”

SLASH! SWIP! SWIPE!

“Ohhhh, that bastardhead is going to pay when I find him! Ditch me and get engaged will you!? HYA!”

CLANG! “Clang? Punching bags don’t make a clang, when I hit them… Wait, wasn’t the punching bag behind me?” Ukyo pulled her spatula back to see a comatose Ryouga flat on his back.

“Stars! Wee!”

“AHH! Ryouga! Are you alright sugar!? What were you doing there!?”

Akane stepped into the room. “Oh, you found her Ryouga! Good!”

“My world is pain…”

“You’ll be ok. Hey, what are you doing here Ukyo? There’s a party up top.”

“Hmmm… Not interested, but thanks anyways sugar, I’ve got a few things to do.”

“Like?”

“You two are standing on me…”

“Umm, well… err…”

“Just because you’re mad at Ranma doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time.”

“Akane…?”

“I guess… But I don’t have any one to dance with...”

“Well we can dance?”

“Akane?”

“Huh!? S-sorry sugar, but I don’t want to give the wrong impression to people.”

“Akane, you’re wearing a dress!”

“Good idea Ryouga! We can get you into a dress, all the guys will be all over you!”

“I don’t know…”

“No! Akane! You are wearing a dress!”

“I know I’m wearing a dress Ryouga, I’m not blind you know? I also remember the ordeal it took me to get into this thing too!”

“GREEN POLKA DOTS!”

Akane turned bright red and slowly stepped off of Ryouga’s chest. “Oh…”

“Great, now I got his tux all bloody…”

“I’m sure he’ll forgive you and I\'m sure he didn\'t pay for it. So how about it Ukyo?”

“Well, ok, since you guys insist, but umm… I have a bit of a problem…”

Akane and Ryouga both listened in. “Can you, umm, turn around and plug your ears Ryouga… It’s really embarrassing…”

“Uhh… Ok.” Ryouga did so oblivious of every thing, or so it seemed.

“Whisper, whisper.”

“Whisper, whisper, Never?”

“Never.”

“A dress?”

“Never.”

“A skirt?”

“Never.”

“How about a tube top?”

“Never…”

“A bra even!?”

“No!”

Akane sighed. “Don’t worry… I’ll help.”

“Th-thanks sugar…”