Motive and Mayhem

SPOILERS: All manga, all anime, L's true name, Another Note, Law and Right, Truth and Justice.

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Motive and Mayhem

Chapter 15: Suspect

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The month of training had been incredibly intense but Mello had made it, and when push came to shove, he decided that it really had been a good idea. He could read Matt so much better since the training, since they'd started 'living the lifestyle'. No one else knew, because Mello was still his usual pithy self, still used Matt's name when addressing him, because the playful banter still existed. The only difference anyone ever saw was the affection -- Mello had become a great deal more comfortable with Matt touching him in public.

But the connection between them was much more intense, the trust was like an unbreakable bond. It saved their lives countless times when they began embarking on more dangerous cases. The silent communication that could be exchanged with just a glance was all but invisible to the people around them.

The years slid by in a happy haze for Mello. He was able to be himself the majority of the time, following Matt's lead and showing the world just what they were capable of. It was a beautiful thing.

Until they got wind of Near's escape. They'd been working on a case in Japan with the help of a small taskforce Aizawa had put together for them. They'd just finished it up when Aizawa had given them a call, letting them know what happened.

Their reply was that they would go notify L immediately. So they did, and had a pretty good time interrupting sex. They were both rather amused by the simplicity of their sex, it was still plain, average, non-kinky sex. The complete opposite of what Matt and Mello did on an almost nightly basis.

A new Kira case had begun. They flew to the United States with the comfortable banter of old friends. Mello noticed the added tension Matt was sporting, though he was hiding it better than he had the last time they dealt with L and Light directly.

Face to face contact with other lettered orphans wasn't a common thing and Mello chalked it up to that and the prospect of facing Kira. Even if Near didn't have the power of the Death Note on his side this time.

Truth be told, Mello was glad to be working on the Kira case. He'd always had a mild, lingering uneasiness about the conclusion. It just didn't fit the Near he'd always known, the one he'd grown up with and competed against.

So, when they arrived in America, Mello took the first opportunity to start looking at the names, the victims attributed to Near's supposed reign of terror. When Beyond Birthday entered the picture, it was like someone had flipped the Rubik's Cube over and opposite the perfectly solved face was a mess of colors.

It was time to start from scratch, look at another angle of the case. Time to break it wide open. He found that most of the criminals killed while Near was Kira had never had both their face and name exposed in the same news bulletin or article. Which meant the probability of Kira and his or her proxies having the Shinigami Eyes was extremely high.

All too soon the case had a life of its own, dragging them across the world to England, where Light sat down with Near for a cup of tea and had his world tipped on end. The next day, Mello felt sorry for Light for the first time. It was strange, to wish that a serial killer would not suffer, but he supposed that was what personal connections were all about.

Hell, he was willing to admit that he'd actually grown pretty fond of Light, even though his contact with the man was limited.

The flight back to Japan, though, had set Mello on edge. Near was clearly trying to point suspicion towards him and he spent most of the flight deflecting the accusations and answering the strangest questions. He was hating Light again by the time they landed. How could he keep such smooth composure when he was being interrogated?!

It infuriated Mello to the point that he was surly even to Matt for a few day's time. The questions had bothered him horribly, not because they had been false for him. Rather, they had almost all been true for Matt and he was having a hard time convincing himself that it was all a coincidence.

Less than a week later, Mello and Matt stepped out to visit a convenience store -- Light refused to let them go alone -- and Mello took the opportunity to pull Matt aside, into a small alleyway.

"Are you Kira?" he hissed the question. "Take off the damn goggles and answer me."

One of Matt's eyebrows swept upwards. He pulled his goggles off, looked into Mello's eyes. "I am not Kira," he replied softly. "I'm your master."

For a long moment, Mello stared into his eyes. Finally, he cursed, stepping back, running a hand through his hair, his entire body tense. "Sorry. I'm sorry. It just... looks bad."

"It's fine," Matt replied, pulling the goggles down. "I expected as much, after all. It's B we're dealing with, remember? He'll cast guilt wherever he can, cause confusion so we end up chasing our own tails."

With a heavy sigh, Mello came close again, offered his lips, relaxed when he was granted a kiss. When they returned to the headquarters with their purchases, Mello was a great deal more relaxed, more focused. He was even able to take it in stride when Light was abducted, when L suddenly became all but useless to the investigation with worry.

As soon as the web site was up, Mello and Matt were occupied with intense attempts to breach the security, coordinated via satellite with the children at the orphanage who had strong hacking skills.

Two weeks later, Mello surprised even himself when he snapped at L, gave him a nasty tongue lashing for wallowing in grief. Light wasn't dead just yet, damn it, and Mello would be damned if he let it happen without a fight.

He found himself doing it, again and again, as the one month mark approached. The night before, Mello was surprised to have L pull him aside, take him up to the thirteenth floor where there was no surveillance.

"Please, sit," L said softly, climbing into a chair himself.

Reluctantly, Mello did as he was told, draping himself across it lazily. "We'll find him."

"I have no doubt about that," L agreed softly. "We will find him tomorrow, and B will not succeed in raping him. However, that is not what we're here to talk about."

The silence lingered for a long time and, slowly, Mello closed his eyes. "You think I'm Kira. You have evidence, strong evidence, that's pointing at me."

"No. The evidence leads to Matt," L bit his thumb again.

Mello's eyes flew open and he sucked in a breath like he'd been punched. "No. Fucking no!" his fingers dug into the chair painfully.

"We have forensic evidence that connects directly to him," L sighed weakly. "You deserve to know. Before I arrest him."

"He told me he wasn't. He looked me in the fucking eye and told me he wasn't!" Mello was yelling, but even that couldn't mask the fear that had crept into his voice, couldn't hide the tears that were burning his eyes.

"He isn't, not anymore. The Death Note was destroyed, but he is responsible," L replied quietly.

"I trusted him," the words were a whisper now. His fingers dug in harder, until his nails bent under the pressure, until the fabric snarled in protest. He closed his eyes, head dipping forward to hide his face.

With a great deal of uncertainty, L rose, put an arm awkwardly over Mello's shoulders. "I'm sorry."

"I trusted him!" Mello screamed it, pulling his hands away from the chair arms, curling them into fists and slamming them down again. The chair's metal vibrated loudly from the blow as the first sob tore through Mello's chest.

It was, needless to say, awkward for L. He could do nothing but stand there in silent support, his arm over Mello's shoulder as he waited for the moment to end.

It lasted nearly an hour before Mello was calm again, before he'd stopped screaming, hitting things, crying. When he was done, he took a few moments to eat a chocolate bar before he spoke. "When and how is he going to go down?"

"When we go in to rescue Light. There will be chaos, and Aizawa's men will take him down then," L replied quietly, sipping his tea. "If you wish to be a part of it, I will let you. Otherwise, you will remain with me. He may signal you for help, I am asking you to ignore it or you will be charged as an accomplice."

"No," Mello replied quietly. "I won't help him, and I don't want to bring him down myself. I've done too much already, without even fucking knowing a thing," he closed his eyes, leaned back in the chair and let himself relax for a moment. "It all makes sense now. I always wondered why Near didn't talk, always thought it didn't quite fit right, that Near wasn't the type to do that kind of thing. I never even glanced twice at Matt for it."

"Affection can do that," L agreed quietly. "It will make you look closer, or look away, depending upon the situation."

"Yeah," Mello sighed. "You know, every time I wanted to go take a look at the old Kira case stuff, from when Near was convicted, we'd always have an argument about it. Every damn time. It explains why he's been nervous around you, lately, and why he calmed down after Near interrogated me on the way back here."

"It is difficult, when you're drawn to a man like that," L replied quietly, looking into his tea with a soft frown. There wasn't enough sugar.

"Yeah, but you caught yours after you knew what he was. It's not so easy when you've given him everything and find out about it after the fact," Mello grumbled, taking a bite of chocolate.

"If it's not uncomfortable, just what kind of relationship do you share?" L asked.

There was a very long silence that time as Mello debated on how to answer that. "Kinky," he muttered. "You know how, when you and Light got married, you promised the whole love and respect thing?"

L nodded softly, finishing off his tea.

"When he and I made our... commitment, I promised him that I would always obey him. It's a lifestyle relationship," Mello sighed deeply. "A BDSM lifestyle."

"And you fulfill the submissive role? The role of slave?" L tilted his head to the side. "You enjoyed it, I could see that much from the changes in your behavior."

"Yeah," Mello replied to all three, running a hand through his hair and biting off another chunk of chocolate. "That kind of a relationship, you have to trust completely, you have to give yourself entirely to the other person. I didn't make the choice lightly. We only did the lifestyle part time for years, until I told him I'd do it full time if he wanted to. He fucking took advantage of me."

"We all have our weaknesses," L gave a lopsided smile. "And I'm sure we've all had those weaknesses exploited, as well. It's strange to say it, but if B had not raped Light, he would have exploited my own weaknesses completely and killed me."

"How am I supposed to go back to a normal life?" Mello asked softly, shaking his head.

"You will remember how. That will not be a problem for you. If I were you, I would worry more over how you will let go of your attachment to Matt," L advised. "I will not allow you to break him out of prison, nor will I allow you to be imprisoned in the same facility."

The glare Mello leveled on L nearly burned the older man's shirt. "I'm not a fucking pussy," he snarled. "I won't break him out and I sure as fuck won't get myself locked up over him."

"You see? You've got plenty of teeth to dig into a new life with," L's smile was as warm as it ever was. "Now you need to use your considerable acting skills to deceive Matt into believing I have been interrogating you this entire time."

"Yeah, I can do that," Mello sighed, finishing off his chocolate bar and throwing away the wrapper, pulling out a new one, unwrapping it and taking another bite. It would, at least, explain why his mouth tasted like chocolate.

He wasn't looking forward to tomorrow. He wondered, absently, if Matt would try to make him into a scapegoat.

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A/N: One more chapter to wrap everything up here, I think, then another bonus materials chapter with the origins of the chapter titles and review responses. Then! The next fic in the series!