• 1-“Relax and Hang On II --- How it all got started.”
• 2-Relax and Hang on III---Hakkai meet Kink.
• 3-Relax and Hang On IV --- Kink Hakkai Style
• 4-RAHO V -- “Learn the Hard Way” [or] "Your Plan Sucks"
• 5-RAHO VI: “You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry”
• 6-RAHO VII -- “Predilection”
• 7-RAHO VIII -- “Tenderness and Compassion“
• 8-Relax and Hang On : Kenren, Tenpou and the Plot Against Heaven
• 9-RAHO IX: “Red Velvet and Crimson Cries”
• 10-RAHO X : Butterflies and Salvage Rights
• 11-RAHO 11 ---Kenren, Tenpou and the Plot Against Heaven : Folie a Deux
• 12-RAHO XII: The Underground
• 13-RAHO: XIII: Ligers, Tigons and Shoes -- oh my!
• 14-RAHO : XIV Blanctic Day One -- Let’s Play a Game.
• 15-RAHO: XV Blanctic Day Two : The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men
• 16-RAHO: XVI Blanctic Day Three: Among Other Things
• 17-RAHO XVII: Blanctic: Night Three -- Gotcha
• 18-RAHO XVIII: Blanctic: Day Four -- Photographs and Memories
• 19-RAHO XIX Blantic Day Five: Numbed Healing
• 20-RAHO XX: Blantic Day Six: “Now, Then and Way Back When.”
• 21-RAHO XXI Blantic Day Seven: "The Vacation Ends."

8200 HITS! THANK YOU ALL!!!

Author’s Note: My computer
has crashed. It needs to be sent off to be fixed. Yeah, fried it HARD. I do
have access to a machine *grin*, but the time is sporadic *frown* so I can
still write *grin* but there will be delays *frown*.

Please make note that I, as an
individual person and as the author of this fanfic,
may or may not share some of the beliefs and opinions expressed via the
“political pictures” that will be described in this chapter. People that
hold certain religious beliefs may find the “cerebral protests” expressed in
the described photographs offensive. To stress, I may or may not share,
hold, ordain, support or encourage these thoughts. Reader discretion is advised.

Out of respect for the passing of
the Pope and the people that love and respect him, I nearly further delayed the
posting of this chapter. I decided to post it after I couldn’t figure out how
long was long enough to wait. Please
remember this was written before he died and I am not trying to convey any sleight
against him personally. I am not Catholic, but I can respect someone so willing
to follow their conventions. This
chapter is politically charged and if you are grieving the passing of the Pope
I highly recommend that you do not read this chapter at this time. I
mean no disrespect to the Pope or Catholics with this chapter.

On to lighter subjects… I will not
admit to the truth of any of these stories except for one. The story involving
chickens is the reason why my HS Alma Mater’s thespian club is not allowed to
have cast parties. I will not confirm nor deny my hand in anything related to
it.

I have included an end note about
the t-shirts mentioned. Two of them I have seen, the others I made up.

***Warning***: Child
molestation has been a theme that has cropped up periodically in this fic. This chapter contains material that might offend some
sensibilities. I did not write a true lemon involving children, but you
should be able to tell what is going on. I feel that I wrote that section within
the confines of laws and good taste.
Reader discretion is advised.

RAHO trivia: These are little
factoids that I’ve been trying to fit into the story, but they just won’t get
there. I’ll include them as I can.

RAHO trivia: The little
bottle of lubricant that Goku has wasn’t purchased by him. The glass bottle of
clear oil is the same bottle that Hakkai had in the early chapters. It is also
the same bottle (hopefully not the same oil) that Kenren
and Tenpou had. They haven’t told me how Hakkai got
it. The change of possession from Hakkai
to Goku happened as Gojyo’s “bag of tricks” merged with Hakkai’s red leather
bag. Some items are still separated in the respective bags mainly because of
space and symbolism to show the keeping of individuality as couplehood
grows stronger. In the story, it was between chapters 8 and 13.

Chapter
Summary -- A butterfly
result, still photographs and moving memories. And, Hakkai
concocts another plan. *reader discretion is advised* potentially offensive
chapter.

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RAHO XVIII: Blanctic:
Day Four -- Photographs and Memories

The Merciful Goddess flipped off the
“on air” light and started the next song. She sat the papers from the AP
newswire to the side.

Jiroshin knitted his brow, “You
didn’t read all of the news.”

She nodded and glanced at the
papers, “You mean the farmhouse fire story?”

“Yes.”

She sighed, “There are some things
that Kappa needs not hear about right now.”

“Yes, but…”

She glanced at Jiroshin. “The circumstances
of that fire…” She shook her head, “He’d blame himself.”

Jiroshin blinked. He was just
reminded that this “woman” was indeed the Goddess of Love and Mercy.

Today was the real reason she’d
commandeered this radio station. She was going to be one busy Goddess.

-- which
certainly beat the shit out of boredom.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few days ago a chain of events was
set in place when a kappa left an inn. This is just one of the effects from
that cause.

The kappa’s departure (that
butterfly) led to a demon, a monkey and a priest to hunt for a paper. That quest lead them to an outdoor newsstand.

[They didn’t bother to take the
paper back to the room. They opened it at the newsstand and put the torn paper
superjacent of the intact sheet. A half a page of classifieds ads; this was
going to take a while to decipher. There had to be something here. ]

When someone comes to one’s
newsstand and asks for an old paper while pointing a gun at you, one tends to
pay close attention. Add to the fact that one of the participants of the
newspaper heist is a priest, who also happened to wield the gun, one pays
extremely close attention.

[Hakkai pointed to the ad, “That
one. That’s the clue.”

Goku looked up at him, “A dog?”

Violet eyes narrowed thoughtfully,
“Have you ever seen a red and tan dog?”

“Well...” Goku thought for a bit.

Hakkai looked over at Goku, “Red, Goku, not that brown that looks red. Not auburn. But red for
the mark of a taboo birth,” Hakkai hated that phrase, ”and,
I’m willing to bet, tan for the bruises.”

Goku blinked. That made sense. “I
think you are on to something.” Of course Hakkai was on to something, whether
or not Goku saw it. The green-eyed man was Hakkai -- who was stupid enough to
question Hakkai when it came to logic games and puzzles?

Hakkai tore that sheet from the
paper. They headed off toward the post office and left the paper on the
newsstand. ]

Then, when this motley bunch begins
to discuss the vile, but valuable taboo race -- one begins to see dollar signs.
It was no secret to the average man on the street, especially one that travels
in nefarious circles, of all the uses for that disgusting lot -- that wretched
red-haired race.

Just as Goku, Sanzo and Hakkai
deciphered the clue with another newspaper , the
newsstand owner deciphered with one of his leftover papers. The unwitting
accomplices had done the hard part, the newsstand owner already knew to look
for an ad about a red and tan dog -- the rest was easy. The three “accomplices” left that newsstand
oblivious as to what was going to transpire of the next few days.

Butterflies flapped all over the
place sending messages and triggering further events. A message sent. A phone
call made. A note left. Whispers traveled and a bounty party had their
suspicions confirmed. There was indeed a half-breed hide out around here.

With the large posse fanning out, it
didn’t take long to find the isolated farmhouse.

Cayce looked up from her book as the
unfamiliar knock came from the door. That always made her nervous. The few
children in the living room stealthy scattered and hid. The caring woman made
her way to the front door and with the chain secure she opened it.

Three men stood on her porch, six
others stood on the steps and a handful peppered her front yard. She knew. She
knew this was bad news before she recognized the face of one of the men. The face of disgusting pedophile. A pedophile from whom a
certain little boy with a scarred cheek had been rescued years upon years ago.

She softly smiled, “What can I do
for you gentlemen, tonight?” Maybe she could dismiss them and bug-out when they
weren’t looking.

“We’re here about the dog.”

Cayce knitted her brow. The code had
been broken. Fuck! She nodded, “My dog has been found. You must have
someone else’s dog. Thank you for taking the time to look for me and reunite me
with my loved one.”

No more words were exchanged. The
men kicked down the door and the small brass chain that formed the line between
safe and unsafe snapped. Cayce was slammed against a wall as blurred jeers were
thrown at her.

She yelled for all she was worth, “BUG
OUT!!” She kneed the man in front of her square in the nuts and wriggled
her way past the reaching hands. A torn dress and several uprooted locks of
hair later, she was herding children.

Like the trained soldiers of
survival that they were all of the kids fell into line. The older ones helped
the younger ones. All went to their stations and all grabbed their necessary
items.

Something exploded and fire began to
roar. Cayce never figured out if it was some kind of weapon from the men or
just an ill-timed accident.

Nimble children scurried like
rodents. In streaks of color and flashes of crimson the house was vacated.
Terrified kids and a fretful house mother dashed into the dark tree lines
leaving a growing inferno behind them.

A little girl, who was limping from
an ankle injury, stumbled and fell face first into wet mud. Without breaking
her stride, Cayce bent down and scooped the small child into her arms.
Clutching at Faythe, she darted between trees.

The underground tunnels were found
by the kids with little difficulty. The winding paths of the splintering
tunnels eventually converged. Panting heavily from the mad sprinting, Cayce
scanned the terrified faces of those around her. Little children whose only
crimes were being born just had their home ripped from them. Small lives
already broken from the harshness of bigotry just had their safe haven invaded
and it was now up to this woman to look at these horrified faces and make it
all better. The weight of altruistic leadership never felt heavier.

Cayce did several head counts and,
thank the butterflies, everyone got out. The hero-worship
got out. Even the guitar got out.

Faythe wrapped her
arms around one of Cayce’s legs and bright, shining, hopeful crimson eyes
looked up, “Never a dull moment.”

Cayce mustered a strained smile as
she patted the young one’s head.

An older teen looked at some of the
younger faces, “Ahh, that house was drafty.”

A few others nodded, “Yep, and the
third step was loose.”

The children gathered around and
together they walked toward safety. Occasionally, someone would offer an
insincere complaint about that old, broken-down, farmhouse. Finally, one of
young teenagers tossed an arm over Cayce’s shoulders, “It sure will be fun to
paint walls again.”

“I get to design the garden this
time!”

“It’s my turn to pick the fabric for
the curtains.”

“That couch
smelled funny. Can we get a new one this time?”

Cayce cried as she led the group of
resilient kids through the dark tunnel. It was morning by the time they reached
the surface.

When did we lose this? She
wondered. When did we forget how to look on the bright side? At what age do we
allow ourselves to get wrapped up in pessimistic cynicism? When is it that hope
and faith leave our lives? At what moment do we become jaded and give up trying
to help ourselves? When it is that feeling bad becomes feeling good?

These kids had nothing. In some eyes
they didn’t even have the right to breath, but somehow they found the silver
lining in this storm cloud. Somehow their optimism was contagious.

These kids refused to let themselves
be beaten and, by default, a woman joined them in their hopeful fight.

There was another house in the
circuit. There was another can of paint to be opened and there was another day
that led to healing and hope.

Resilience is birthed from
adversity. Some people heal, for some unknown reason, in spite of life’s
vicissitudes.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aww goddamn
it! She fell asleep with her
contacts in -- again. When was she going to learn? Ah’Nesty shifted her eyes
under her eyelids and felt the contacts sticking to the insides of her lids. It
didn’t hurt per se nor was it like her eyes were being scratched, but damn
it if wasn’t one of the weirdest feelings in the world. Just
feeling something solid and static between your eyes and your eyelids. Gods!
Oh! There… the contacts just broke free.

She carefully parted her eyelashes
and squinted at the world. Awww man. This day was gonna
suck. Her eyes were so dry it was hard to keep them open. She blinked the lines
of biological sandpaper over her eyes a few times and sat up. She hated waking
up like this. Oh… wait… this wasn’t so bad. She knew this couch. This was a
comfortable couch and, look, someone was so nice as to get her a pillow and a
blanket. Oh yes, she’d spent many a night on this couch while the happy couple
enjoyed some alone time in the next room. She sucked her teeth. Always the bridesmaid and never the bride.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Crimson eyes slowly opened and
blinked morning into his body. Gojyo smiled, his lover was still asleep upon his
chest. There was something incredibly soothing about feeling Hakkai’s breath
wash across his skin and Hakkai’s touch against him. Here he was warm,
comfortable and Hakkai was naked on top of him. Could life get any better?

Hakkai slowly shifted and tucked his
fingertips under Gojyo’s shoulders.

Gojyo smiled. Life just got better.
He was just reminded that he was loved. Was staying like this all day a viable
option?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She pressed her index fingers to the
corner of her eyes and blinked her contacts out. Those things needed a good
long soak. She blinked her crimson eyes a few times and felt the red
spider-webbing spread along the whites of her eyes. She shifted to her feet,
nearly tripped over two sleeping dragons, opened the cabinet above the fireplace,
turned on the radio and shuffled into the kitchen to start some coffee.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Crimson eyebrows knitted as
synthesized tones drifted in to the room. What he assumed were electric violins
kicked in and he recognized the song. It was a decent song -- a remix too. He
started mouthing the words before he realized it, “When I look into you your eyes there’s nothing there to see. Nothing
but my own mistakes staring back at me.”
He felt a subtle shifting upon his chest. Crimson eyes cut down and
Gojyo shifted his head.

[…Lose your
mind…]

Half asleep Hakkai was silently
mouthed the words, “This is the last smile that I’ll fake for the sake of being
with you.”

There snuggled up together they
shared a sleepy silent duet. ”Everything falls apart. Even
the people who never frown eventually breakdown.”

Hakkai and Gojyo were both fully
awake by the time, “everything has to end. You’ll soon find we’re out of time
left to watch it all unwind” came through the radio waves.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She splashed water across the
counter, spilled coffee grounds near the coffee pot, nearly forgot to put a
filter in the basket and stubbed her toe on the kick plate. She shook her head.
She wasn’t going to win today, she just knew it. This was not going to be her
day. This day was going to suck. Big Time.

[Why I stick
when you just push away.]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hakkai softly smiled, “Well, that’s
an ominous way to wake up.” He sighed and darted in for a quick good morning
kiss. He settled upon the hips of his lover and the blanket slid down his back,
“There is a form of divination that places great importance upon the first
words one hears upon waking called cledonism.”

Gojyo smirked, “Good thing we don’t
give a shit about crap like that.”

Hakkai nodded, “It ranks right up
there with, oh say…” he lightly shrugged, “phrenology.” He chuckled. “If we
paid any mind to omens, I don’t think we’d be heading toward the land of
death.”

Gojyo glanced up at his exposed
naked lover. The morning sunlight washed diagonally across Hakkai’s body. The
yellow hues of the golden rays called to the emerald of those eyes and made the
green pop and jump from their wet orbs. The tan skin of Hakkai’s sunlight
exposed shoulder shimmered with a pale bronze hue and what looked like a line
of golden spider web traced the soft angles of his muscles. The mussed chestnut
tresses hinted at their illicit liaison and blissful rest. Crimson eyes shifted
down and captured the life-stealing and life-providing scar that decorated his
lover’s abdomen. The scar was once a source of shame for the emerald eyed man
-- so much so -- that even the crimson haired man that helped stuff those
innards back in was forbidden to view it. Now -- wondrous now -- Hakkai
straddled him naked and uninhibited. Crimson eyes dipped into a delicious naval
and followed the ultra-fine wisps of chestnut that pointed directly at a mass
of brunet curls. Gojyo smiled as he eyed his lover’s ---

Emerald eyes filled Gojyo’s line of
vision.

Maybe Hakkai wasn’t completely
uninhibited. Gojyo softly smiled, “Is there something I can do for you?”

Hakkai smiled and softly blushed,
“No, but there is something you can do with me.”

A crimson eyebrow lifted knowingly,
“Sure thing. Any time, lover.” Tan hands curled over
the nearly forgotten bedding as Gojyo’s neck was attacked by Hakkai’s lips. Who
is the insatiable one now?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eye drops. Where were
her eye drops? Crap. In the bedroom. The bedroom with the closed door. The bedroom where Gono-- oh wait -- that’s not his
name anymore. What was his name? She snapped her fingers. Ahhh crap. Ha…Ha-something.
Fuck it; she’d just call him Somber. Som was how she
knew him best. A little name she started calling the woeful boy that never
smiled and it stuck.

[The sacrifice of hiding in a lie.]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With the blankets over his back,
Hakkai moaned softly as his growing erection pressed against his lover’s.

Tan fingers gripped a light tan ass
as his lover shifted the oral attentions to his chest.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She eyed that door. She really
needed those eye drops. She shrugged. It was time to get lazy-bones out of bed.
It’s not like she hadn’t done this before. It will be like old times.

[Never
knowing -- Why I never walked away. Why I played myself this way.]

She knocked once and opened the
door, “You better be decent and if you’re not I don’t give a da---” She pressed her lips together and laughed as the two
blanket covered men jumped slightly. She sighed, “Oh, dear god, did you find
yourself another bunny, Som?”

Gojyo chuckled.

Hakkai squeezed his eyes closed and
pressed his forehead against Gojyo’s sternum, “Ah’Nesty, your timing is so
precise.”

She shook her head, “I need my
stuff.” She walked over to her bag, “It’s not my fault you left it in
here.” She knelt by her pack, “You two look so delicious, I’m tempted to join
you.”

Hakkai laughed, “You come near this
bed and you know where my hands will be.”

Crimson eyes went wide. Was this a
hint of the letch under that polite smile? “Hakkai!
I’m surprised at you.”

Ah’Nesty chuckled and stepped toward
the bed.

Without lifting his head, Hakkai
whipped an arm from under the covers.

Gojyo’s mouth slightly opened. He
couldn’t believe he was witnessing this.

Ah’Nesty, with no signs of
bashfulness, grabbed Hakkai’s wrist and put his hand firmly on her breast.

Crimson eyebrows hit a crimson
hairline.

With a
sharp, “Eeep!” Hakkai quickly withdrew his
hand and nervously laughed. “You weren’t supposed to call me on my bluff!” Good
god! Ah’Nesty had grown up since he’d last --- that thought was getting
pushed from his mind right now.

She laughed and flopped onto the
bed, “You shouldn’t bluff unless you are holding cards.”

Gojyo softly chuckled as he
recognized the rekindling of one those friendships one must live to understand.

Hakkai pressed his cheek against
Gojyo’s chest, “Not that your lovely face isn‘t appreciated, but we’re less
than dressed here.”

Gojyo laughed, “Would you be more
comfortable if you got into my boxers, Hakkai?”

Hakkai groaned and hid his face
against Gojyo’s chest.

She laughed, “It’s nothing I haven’t
seen before.” Female crimson eyes flicked to male crimson ones, “On both of
you.” Her eyes narrowed slightly as she noticed his scars again. Now that
fatigue wasn’t clouding her memory, she was beginning to place him.

Emerald eyes blinked and a second
set of eyes rested upon Gojyo.

Gojyo shrugged. Two people in bed
didn’t faze him in the slightest. “I was going to join you in the shower, only
you weren’t you.”

Hakkai softly chuckled and glanced
at Ah’Nesty, “Oh my, that must have been a shock.”

Gojyo poked his lover in the ribs. “For me too.”

Emerald eyes shifted, “For you,
really?” Who was Gojyo trying to kid? The Casanova probably rejoiced at the
opportunity to taste some eye-candy.

A sheepish grin washed across
Gojyo’s face and crimson eyes rolled, “Ok, yeah you gotta
point.”

Ah’Nesty pulled herself from the
bed, “Coffee’s brewing.”

Gojyo looked over Hakkai’s cloth
covered form, “Are we gonna see the photo albums
today?”

Hakkai groaned.

She looked over her shoulder,
“Sure,” she pulled one of her packs over her shoulder, “I got ‘em right here.”

Emerald eyes blinked as blood
vacated his face, “Wait!” His heart began to race, “Photo albums
--- plural?”

A mischievous grin washed across
Gojyo’s face as he felt Hakkai’s heart beating against his chest.

Ah’Nesty wrapped her arms around her
waist as she doubled over in laughter, “Yes! Plural.” She snorted as she calmed
down enough to speak, “Don’t worry, I’ll only share
one of them.”

“Like hell!” Gojyo interjected. If
Hakkai didn’t want something shared then it absolutely, positively, without a
doubt had to be shared. He was getting his hands on that forbidden photo
album someway somehow.

A plaintive groan lifted from Hakkai
as he tried to hide against his lover-come-tormentor’s chest, “You don’t want
to see those albums.”

Gojyo laughed rambunctiously as
Ah’Nesty left the bedroom, “You lie! You so lie.”

Hakkai started to slink off his
lover’s chest and aimed for sliding off the side of the bed.

Gojyo stopped his lover with the
gentle touch of his hand.

Tentative emerald eyes slid into
crimson.

Gojyo chuckled, “So… two
photo albums, huh?”

Hakkai closed his eyes. With a
plaintive groan he shifted to start this horrendous day.

Gojyo laughed as he grabbed Hakkai’s
wrist, “After that Prince Albert revelation,
I’m dying to know about that other album.”

Hakkai pulled his wrist away from
his lover and pushed his hand into his forehead, “Oh dear god.” He shuffled two
steps toward clean clothes, “I’m never going to live any of this down, am I?”

Gojyo sat up in bed and shook his
head, “Nope. Not as long as I have breath.” He snickered as he stood from bed.
He spoke with overwhelming glee, “Let’s get this day started. Oh! We should get
the gruesome twosome and make a family day out of it.”

Hakkai looked at his fleece shirt
and wondered if he could fit in the weaving. Of course, he could just leave the
cabin --- no --- that would not work. That would unbelievably not
work for that would mean he would not be here to keep Ah’Nesty’s mouth shut and Gojyo’s eyes off certain
pictures. He sighed, “Time to make the coffee.”

Gojyo knitted his brow, “She said it
was brewing.”

Hakkai softly chuckled, “You won’t
be able to drink it; I promise you. No one changes that much.”

Gojyo slipped his arms around
Hakkai’s waist and nipped his lover’s ear, “No one changes that much, huh?” He
snickered, “Still want that Prince Albert?”

Hakkai hid behind both hands, “Oh
dear god.”

Gojyo curled his fingers around
Hakkai’s shoulders and pressed his lover’s back into his chest, “Seriously, you
never told me her problem.”

Hakkai softly smiled, “It’s private, Gojyo, I’m not sure she’d appreciate me
telling you.”

Gojyo chuckled, “Did she ever tell
you not to tell me?”

Hakkai shook his head, “Don’t mince
words.”

Crimson hair tilted forward and he
pressed a kiss against his lover’s shoulder, “Joking aside, can I help or
something? I’ve dealt with a lot of people with a lot of different problems.”

Hakkai smiled, “If you’re trying to
get her in bed, give up now.”

“It’s not that, lover. I need to
know how to be around her. If she’s got a problem, I need to know so I don’t
freak her out or something. C’mon just tell me already.”

Hakkai sighed, “Vaginismus, she has
primary vaginismus. The doctors told her when she was 15 and went in for her
first pelvic exam.”

Gojyo knitted his brow, “Two
questions. One, you’re talking about the psychosomatic disorder, right? And
two, how do you know about her first pelvic exam?” He softly chuckled.

Hakkai nodded. Leave it to Gojyo to
recognize a rare sexual disorder in women. “Yes, the psychosomatic disorder.
And, who do you think held her hand and patted her back when she cried during
that exam?”

“Damn, man, I didn’t know it was
like that.” Gojyo sighed. He knew about vaginismus. It was rare, but he dealt
with it first hand once. That was a heart wrenching night. She was a nice girl
too. One ear splitting scream and then nothing but tears and
apologies. He thought he‘d done something wrong and she was
apologizing to him for being a cocktease. What a crock of shit, by that point Gojyo didn’t
care about his urges. He just wanted to know what was wrong.

Plenty of nights he’d had women cry
on him while he was in them. Some kind of odd sexual therapy, he supposed, but
this particular lady was different. She needed a touch that was
different. He held her all night and she
shared just enough information to get him curious. After some checking (three
towns over so that no one he knew would see him in the library), Gojyo learned
that vaginismus was psychological disorder with a physical manifestation. A deep-seated fear of
penetration that caused the vaginal muscles to spasm. Typically the
outer third of the vaginal wall would clench making sex extremely painful at
the least, but more commonly, impossible. Hakkai said hers was primary, Gojyo
knew that meant she’d lived with it all her sexual life. That settled it.
Something happened to her -- something horrible. Something
that affected her for life. Damn. “You may have not been told, but
something happened to her. Almost always it’s some kind of event.”

Hakkai nodded, “You’ve checked into
this.”

Gojyo nodded, “Yeah.” Once
being caught off guard was enough. He got himself fairly well versed on
a lot of sexual disorders.

Hakkai sighed as his lover’s arms
slipped from around him, “So did I. Primary vaginismus isn’t always caused by a
traumatic even. Sometimes it’s just a deep fear that sex is inherently painful.
Secondary vaginismus is almost always caused by a traumatic event. Almost.”

Gojyo shook his head as he dressed,
“Nah man, with all of the other signals from her -- something happened to her.”
He glanced at the closed door, “Something horrible. She was probably real young
too.” Gojyo liked Ah’Nesty. She seemed fun-loving and spunky -- that alone was
reason enough to strangle the prick that did this to her. “Wait.” A sly smile
slipped on his lips. “You were awfully young to know about this shit.”

Hakkai blushed as he pulled his
socks on.

“Whoa,” Gojyo pointed a finger at
Hakkai, “How old were you when you started this physical thing with her?”

Hakkai pressed a hand to his face,
“Fourteen.”

Crimson eyes went wide, “Fourteen!”
He laughed, “And you guys call me the perv.”

Gojyo’s mental wheels began to spin,
“Wait. You said you were sixteen when you started your relationship with
Kanan.”

Hakkai nodded. Where was the
confusion?

Gojyo tilted his head, “So you went
what two years in a sexual relationship that didn’t go all the way? Goddamn
man, what do you have the patience of --- “ He hated
religious references but had to go with it, “Job?”

Hakkai chuckled, “I have nothing in
common with Job that I can assure you. Have you even read the Book of Job?”

Gojyo shook his head, “Nope, it’s
just a saying that’s all.”

Hakkai crossed his legs, “Pick
another one that one’s not fitting.”

Gojyo waved a hand in the air. “It
doesn’t matter. Two years without release. Two years of constant teasing and
foreplay. God damn!”

Hakkai crossed his hands at the
wrist, rested them on his knee and spoke matter-of-factly, “Gojyo, what makes
you think it was without release? There are a lot of things to do sexually and
very few of them involve quote end-quote intercourse.”

Gojyo sat down on the bed and looked
at his lover, “You little perv.” He waggled a finger
in the air, “You were freaky before I was freaky.” Like most sexually abused
children, Gojyo considered the start of his sexual life with the first
full-consent moment. “And that’s saying a lot.”

Hakkai chuckled.

“Speaking of freaky…”

Hakkai hid his face behind a hand;
he did not like that tone in Gojyo’s voice nor the
twinkle in those crimson eyes.

Gojyo mischievously chuckled, “That
night with the pearls. You said you’d done that with women before. Women -- plural.”

Hakkai nodded, “Yes.”

Crimson eyes narrowed. What was
hiding behind that cloaking ‘yes‘? “I can safely assume one of the women.”

Hakkai agreed, “No doubt.”

“So, if Ah’Nesty has vaginismus then
the other one can’t be her.”

Hakkai lifted an eyebrow, “What
makes you say that?”

“Because of
the vaginismus.”

Hakkai lightly and slightly smugly
chuckled, “Dear Gojyo, do you recall how vaginismus is treated?”

Crimson eyebrows knitted. Now
his memory fails him, “No.”

Hakkai sighed, lifted his palms to
the air in a shrug and smiled, “With physical therapy.”

Gojyo fell backwards on the bed and
laughed, “So, is the doctor in?”

Hakkai smiled as he glanced over his
shoulder at his lover, “I have one patient. Do you think I need another?” With
that Hakkai left the room to go make some coffee.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sanzo sucked his teeth and stared at
the ceiling. Goku was sprawled out over him like the chimp was staking a claim.
Everywhere Sanzo could shift -- monkey parts. Bits of Goku just surrounded him,
“Get up, Goku.”

Sleepy golden eyes opened, “I am
up.” He snickered, “Oh, you mean get out of bed.”

Violet eyes rolled, “You were out of
line last night.”

Goku chuckled as he sat up, “You
seemed happy by the end of it.”

Sanzo gritted his teeth as he found
his footing, “Watch yourself, one day I might bite
back.”

Goku grinned, “Oh, please do.”

Violet eyes narrowed as he eyed
Goku, “Hnnn.” A smoke and shower, that’s what he needed.

Goku put on his boxers and followed
Sanzo into the living room. He tossed Sanzo his boxers and plopped down on the
couch, “You must be tired if you forgot to put those on.”

“Tch.” Sanzo put on his boxers and sat down at the
table a lit a cigarette, “If someone would let me sleep, it wouldn’t be a
problem.”

Goku bounced toward the table and
leaned in close to Sanzo, “Can’t really blame me now can you? I mean, look at
you. Damn.”

The fan flew.

Goku balled his hands up and shook
his fists, “Your robes are no where near you! Where the fuck did that
come from?” He eyed Sanzo and there was no evidence of the fan, “I think
Gojyo’s right. You just pull it right out of your ass.”

Sanzo flicked his ashes, “Gojyo
doesn’t need to be thinking about my ass.”

Goku sat down in one of the chairs
next to Sanzo, “Yeah, he’s got Hakkai to worry about. “ He snickered.

A blond eyebrow lifted.

Goku chuckled.

Violet eyes blinked and Sanzo turned
his head.

Goku began to laugh.

Blond eyebrows knitted, “Stupid
monkey, nothing’s funny.”

Goku lifted his face, “A Prince
Albert, I’ve never seen one.”

“And, you’re not going to.”

Goku grinned, “I bet those look
really cool.”

Sanzo took a drag off his cigarette.
Some things were too stupid to acknowledge.

“Really,
really cool.”

Sanzo looked at the cherry on his
cigarette, “Get one if you are so interested.”

Golden eyes rolled, “Fuck that.” You
on the other hand… He snickered.

Sanzo sighed, “What is it now?”

Goku folded his hands on the table
and tried to look innocent, “Ya know, with Hakkai’s
chi-shit, that recovery time would be damn short.”

Sanzo tossed his cigarette in the
ashtray and shook his head. Wordlessly, he went into the bathroom to take a
shower.

Goku dashed to his pack and pulled
out a tablet of paper and a pencil. He began to write another note to Hakkai.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Deciding to forgo Ah’Nesty’s coffee, that attempted to pour itself, Hakkai
made some coffee. The three of them sat at the dining room table. Hakkai felt
the hair on the back of his neck stand for no good reason, “You two are
conspiring.”

Ah’Nesty’s eyes went
wide.

Gojyo put on his best “who me?”
face, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Hakkai.”

Ah’Nesty put a photo album on the
table and strummed her fingers on the cover. She released an exaggerated sigh.

Hakkai gripped his coffee cup and
stared at the tan liquid, “Completely different person.”

Gojyo lifted and eyebrow, “You’ve
said that like a million times since we’ve been here. Who are you trying to
convince? Us or yourself?”

Hakkai paled. That was an excellent
question. He knitted his brow.

Gonou snickered.

He was a different person --
completely different, right? Nothing lingered, he’d made sure of it. He went to
great pains to draft this personality and he was settling into it. He was becoming the person he always wanted
to be and save for a few slip-ups, he was doing fairly well. Most people were
fooled by his smile and one day he’d fool himself. Granted, there was still
pain when it rained and occasionally -- often -- commonly -- frequently -- most
of the time, Kanan was still that woman behind the bars; however, it was
getting better.

Being back here dragged up some
harsh memories, but at least he remembered her without a blade in her hands. It
sure would be nice, to be able to remember her more often as the beautiful
woman she was. Kanan as the woman sitting at their kitchen
table. As the woman who worried him over wearing a helmet. As the woman who fed the stray cat that always showed up at dinner
time. As the woman who would laugh and cause storm clouds to leave. As the woman who could sing and make angels cry. As
the woman who couldn’t take two steps without spilling her coffee or tea, but
only spilt hot liquids. As the woman who knew him and loved him
anyway. As the woman who would hold him so tenderly. As the woman who
saw no wrong in anyone. As the woman who --- Hakkai stood from the table and
whispered, “Excuse me.” A shower, he needed a shower because one day, damn it,
he was going to get clean.

Gojyo knitted his brow as Hakkai
stepped into the bathroom. He glanced at Ah’Nesty, “Did you see the look on his
face?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

He shook his head, “Damn, I was just
teasing. I … fuck.” He pushed a hand to his forehead.

She looked at the photo album, “Is
this a bad idea?”

Gojyo shook his head, “No, something
in my gut tells me it’s not.” He smirked, “I hope it’s not just me convincing
myself that a good laugh is …” He sighed, “He’s got a great sense of humor. I
can tell he sees the …” He sighed. “If he really didn’t want this shared. I
would know about it.”

Ah’Nesty sipped her coffee, “I don’t
want to do anything that’s going to set him back. He seems to do enough of that
himself.”

Gojyo smirked as he lit a cigarette,
“Actually, I think he really wants to get past this. It seems like the moment
he starts to walk away from that grief…” He shook his head, “Something happens
to just throw it in his face.” Gojyo leaned back against his chair and flicked
his ashes.

Ah’Nesty nibbled her bottom lip, “If
we do this, the short-term consequence might be him crying on your shoulder.”
She narrowed her eyes and studied Gojyo’s face. It might be him. It was years
upon years ago and the chances of them meeting again were astronomical, but
those scars. Those scars. The chances of two
half-breeds having those scars were less than meeting “him” again. He didn’t
seem to place her, so there was no point in mentioning it.

Gojyo huffed, “It might be you he
cries on.”

Ah’Nesty shook her head, “No, he looks
at you the same way he looked at Kanan.”

Gojyo smiled. That was real nice to
hear. Kanan held a special place in Hakkai’s heart -- no -- his soul, that
Gojyo knew he could never replace. It would be stupid to try, but to hear an
outsider tell him that he might be close to Kanan’s level -- that meant the
world. That alone made this quest west worth it. He sighed, “You must love
him.”

She nodded, “Yeah, I do.”

“Loved him
for a long time.”

She nodded again, “Yeah, I have. A long time.”

“So, why did you give him up?”

She weakly smiled, “I’m not getting
in the way of his happiness. I’m not blocking him from anyone that can make him
honestly smile.”

Gojyo took a drag from his
cigarette, “If you love something set it free, huh?”

She sighed, “Yeah, and he didn’t
come back to me.”

Gojyo looked at the cherry of his
cigarette. Hakkai had come back to him -- he left as Gonou and came back as
Hakkai. That’s got to stand for something.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With damp blonde hair, Sanzo sat at
the table and violet eyes shifted as Goku made his way to the shower. As soon
as the bathroom door clicked closed, Sanzo stood.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hakkai pushed the towel to his face.
He took in a deep breath and felt the beading water roll down his spine. He
leaned against the wall and looked at himself in the foggy mirror. Coming here
was a bad idea. Memories. Memories everywhere he
looked.

****

Water sprayed against the couple and
Gonou kissed Kanan’s neck. He felt her breasts heaving against his chest and
her calf slide down his thigh. They stood in the recently constructed shower
and Gonou held her tightly. He shifted his hips and she softly moaned.

Feminine emerald eyes went wide as
she began to tremble.

Gonou shifted to see her face,
“Kanan?” He watched the blood leave her face and her eyelids partially close. “Kanan!” He gripped her shoulders and felt warmth by his
feet. He looked down and crimson swirled with the shower water. She slumped
against his shoulder.

~~~

Gonou sat beside the hospital bed
and held Kanan’s limp hand. The medical staff didn’t bother to ask who he was
or what their relationship was. Gonou, Kanan and Ah’Nesty were well known in
the hospital for his volunteer work as well as his frequent visits to the
trauma ward. They couldn’t get him to wear a helmet either.

The doctor dropped the bomb on them
like it was nothing. A miscarriage. Gonou stroked the
back of her hand and listened to the beeps of the various monitors. A miscarriage. She was a month and a half pregnant and they
had no idea.

He wrapped his hand around his eyes
and pressed his lips together. The OB/GYN assured him that nothing they did
caused this. It wasn’t the result of injury and sex in the shower or otherwise
didn’t cause this. It was simply a medical fact; her body detected something
wrong with the fetus and terminated the pregnancy.

That sounded so cold, so detached, so clinical. Even with the staff’s assuring words, Gonou
couldn’t help but to feel guilty over Kanan’s weakened state. “You did nothing
to cause this.” That’s what he was told as she slept with tubes running in and
out of her. “Something wrong with the fetus.” Those
were the words as machines beeped and a red glow lit up her middle finger.

Neither Kanan nor Hakkai were
stupid. They knew something that the medical staff here didn’t know and that
was the true nature of their relationship. Hakkai sighed as he scanned his
sleeping twin sister. Her breath was deeper and her color was coming back. The
bleeding had stopped and she would be fine. Those comforting pieces of news
didn’t help much. They didn’t help that he knew what was wrong with the
fetus. The chances of them having a healthy child were less than a “normal”
couple and at seventeen they weren’t trying to have a child. Gonou held firm
beliefs in what the “something wrong” was and he knew something had to change.
Carelessness caused this -- his carelessness.

Something had to change, but how
could he convince a woman that held faith in the Pope that birth control
wouldn’t condemn her to hell?

Kanan lazily
turned her head and a sleepy moan lifted from the brunette. Gonou looked over
at her. She whispered, “I love you, Gonou.” Feminine emerald eyes slowly
closed.

****

Masculine emerald eyes opened.

What if… what if she was pregnant
and didn’t know it -- again. What if…what if…

Sanguinans sat down and drew his
knees to his chest. He wrapped his arms around his shins and let the chains of
his shackles dig into his skin. What if – indeed.

Hakkai glanced up at the ceiling and
began to slide down the wall. Gojyo was in the bathroom before Hakkai hit the
floor.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sanzo was standing next to the
bathroom door. As soon as the water was turned off, he opened the door.

Golden eye peeked from under a blue
towel, “Yeah?”

Sanzo curled his fingers around a
tan shoulder and yanked, “You were out of line last night.”

Goku smirked, “Really?”

Sanzo whipped the towel from the
younger man and turned Goku around, “On your knees.” He pushed on Goku’s shoulders and both men dropped to their knees.

Goku gasped, “Sanzo?”

Sanzo claimed Goku’s
neck with his lips, “I’m biting back.”

Goku grinned, “Deal.”

Sanzo nipped at the nape of Goku’s neck.

Goku pushed his hips back against
Sanzo’s. Brown eyebrows lifted, his lover was already hard enough to be felt
through the denim.

A porcelain hand slipped between
then and Sanzo began to open his pants. He pushed his fingers into Goku’s chest and pulled the younger man close.

Goku moaned as the strong fingers
mashed his flesh.

Sanzo nearly growled, “You are my
lover. If you have questions; you come to me.” He didn’t need anyone screwing
with “Goku Logic.”

Goku felt heat begin to pool between
his legs.

Light pink lips and white teeth
claimed a tan shoulder, “I own my body and I know what I like done with it.”

Goku’s stomach
flipped when he head Sanzo’s buckle hit the tiled floor. He wasn’t sure what
sparked this possessive streak in the priest, but he liked it.

Sanzo fished through his fallen
pockets and pulled out the small glass bottle of oil. He used his teeth to pull
the top off and backed his hips. He drizzled some on his cock.

Goku slid a hand between his legs as
the bottle tinked against the floor. He began to
stroke himself.

Sanzo wrapped his fingers around his
arousal and used his knees to open Goku’s legs. He
positioned himself against Goku’s opening, “Don’t
move.”

With a soft whimper, Goku froze.
“Uh-huh.” Sanzo hadn’t been this aggressive with him before. He was incredibly
excited and slightly nervous.

“Tch.” Porcelain hands met at Goku’s stomach. Sanzo crossed his arms and curled his hands
over Goku’s shoulders, “Monkeys need to be trained.”
He bucked his hips and pulled on his lover.

Goku cried out as Sanzo entered and
stretched him. Warmth radiated around him and he began stroking himself in
earnest.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gojyo sat on the floor holding
Hakkai in his arms. He heard no weeping and he didn’t feel Hakkai’s breath
hitching. The silence told him that his lover was actively burying something --
pushing something deep down inside. His legs were under Hakkai’s knees and a
soft towel draped over Hakkai’s hips. “Talk to me, please.”

Hakkai remained silent and clutched
at Gojyo.

Gojyo curled his hand around the
back of Hakkai’s head, “You’re not alone anymore. You don’t have to bear this
alone. I’m here.” He sighed, “I’m here.”

Hakkai knitted his eyebrows as tension
grabbed his chest. He was afraid that if he spoke, he would lose all of his
composure.

Gojyo rubbed Hakkai’s back and knew
he was going to have to pull this from his lover, “Is it the photo albums? If
it is then we ---”

Hakkai shook his head and pressed is
fingers into Gojyo’s chest.

Crimson eyes ticked up and Gojyo
eyed the mural on the ceiling. “You’re here surrounded by all these memories
and I don’t know what to do to show you that you don’t have to carry this
alone.”

Hakkai tightened his legs around
Gojyo’s hips.

“Do you want to leave? We can leave
today.”

Hakkai shook his head. It had
stopped snowing and the snow had begun to melt, but it was still unsafe to
travel. He couldn’t and wouldn’t dare jeopardize his friends because of
memories.

Gojyo shifted his hands and cradled
Hakkai’s face. He pushed space between them and looked into barely controlled
emerald, “You’re not alone anymore.”

Hakkai squeezed his eyes closed.

“And you’ll never be again.”

Something in Hakkai’s chest snapped.
He just lost his composure.

Gojyo did the only thing he could
think of which was to hold Hakkai tighter.

And that,
was exactly what Hakkai needed.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Short brunet strands bounced as
Sanzo impaled him. Colors and visions jerked and swirled in Goku’s
vision. He felt his teeth jarring together.

Sanzo released one of Goku’s shoulders and wormed his hand down the lithe tanned
body. He curled his fingers under Goku and cupped the smaller man’s balls. He
firmly massaged.

Goku jerked his head back and loudly
offered Sanzo’s name to walls.

Sanzo smirked. And don’t you
forget it.

Goku’s stomach
started to clench. Pressure built up inside of him and the calls for release
screamed in his head.

Sanzo felt his lover’s writhing and
knew the twist of pleasure and need to release that was building the brunet. He
curled his lips from around his teeth and claimed Goku’s
shoulder.

Sanzo’s teeth met his flesh and Goku’s mind flashed white. He screamed as euphoria exploded
inside of him and raced from him.

Violet eyes slammed shut as Goku’s internal muscles claimed his cock. Sanzo bucked one
last time and arched his back. An incomprehensible sound rushed from him as his
body danced in pleasure. He felt himself twitching inside of Goku expending all
he had to offer. He curled both arms around his lover’s chest and pulled the
smaller man into him.

Goku smiled as Sanzo’s breath
brushed across the nape of his neck. He just won. Sanzo, Genjyo Sanzo,
initiated and dominated something that was pleasurable. The blond admitted,
although not verbally, something he needed and wanted and did so without any
form of pain. From here on out, any games they play will be because they want
to play them not because Sanzo won’t let himself enjoy something for the sake
of enjoyment. “Sanzo?”

Sanzo panted between clenched teeth,
“What?”

“I’m hungry.”

Damn it! Where was that fan?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gojyo softly whispered, “Stop. Just
stop trying to carry this alone, please. It’s eating you up inside.” He pulled
space between them.

Hakkai leaned his back against the
wall as tan hands rested upon his chest. “I have cried more since we’ve been
together than I have my entire life. I’m not this weak.”

Gojyo smiled, “It takes strength to
cry. It takes strength to face yourself.”

Hakkai wiped his face and sighed.

Within each other’s harbors both men
had found a place that was safe enough and comfortable enough to deal with
latent issues. Only because of their closeness could each allow themselves to
feel what needed to be felt and release some of their guilt and sorrow. Every
tear that was shed carried a sliver of healing. Every heavy sigh carried a
longing for touch. Every tender embrace carried a rejection of solitude.

Wet emerald eyes blinked, “What of
you? My wounds are no worse than yours.”

Gojyo smiled and shrugged, “I don’t
know.” He sighed, “I know that I feel a lot stronger knowing that I have you to
hold at night. I know that each day is brighter knowing the love we share.”

Hakkai glanced at Gojyo’s shoulder,
“Do you love me?”

Crimson eyes narrowed, “Of course,
how can you doubt that?”

“You don’t know me, how can you love
me?”

Gojyo tilted his head, “I don’t know
you? Damn, Hakkai, I know you better than anyone else. Are there things I don’t
know? Yes, of course, but I know you and everyday I learn a little more about
you. Everyday I love you a little more.”

Emerald eyes slowly blinked, “You’ve
been hurt so bad, how can you love so freely -- so
easily?” So unquestioningly?

Gojyo smirked, “I was hurt by denied
love. You were hurt by shared love. That makes all the difference in the
world.” He tapped Hakkai’s chest, “There are walls that are so terrified of
hurt they won’t open, but they’ve opened for me. How could I walk away from
that?”

Hakkai sighed.

Crimson probed emerald, “Do you
doubt your love for me?”

Hakkai shook his head, “No.” He
shrugged, “I suppose it would make more sense if I did, but I honestly don’t
doubt what I feel for you.”

Gojyo nodded, “Then you doubt my
love for you.”

Hakkai winced, “Doubt. That sound
so…” his words trailed off.

Gojyo nodded, “Maybe not doubt. Maybe
it just hasn’t sunk in to you.” He tapped Hakkai’s forehead, “You over-think
things.”

Hakkai
weakly smiled, “I don’t mean to.”

Gojyo softly shook his head, “No,
you don’t. You also don’t mean to push me away or shut me out.” He grinned, “I
can tell you want me to know you better, but you just don’t know how to do it.”

“That’s part of it. I’m also a bit
scared of your reaction when you learn these things about me.”

“That’s your fear talking.” Gojyo
ran a hand through his hair, “I suppose I need to do a better job of showing you
that I love what’s beneath your smile.”

Hakkai’s stomach
flipped. He wanted Gojyo to love the smile more. He wanted Gojyo to love Hakkai
more than Gonou. “Something tells me that’s not it.”

Gojyo knitted his brow, “I think I
would be confused and acting a bit strangely if I had to spend some time in the
home I grew up.” He huffed, “You coming back here, is kinda
like me going back to where my mom died.” He shook his head, “If I had to stand
on that floor and …” his voice trailed off.

“No, Gojyo, that
would be if we were in that castle. Near her cell.”

Gojyo leaned forward and kissed
Hakkai’s forehead, “I suspect this is worse. You have happy memories here.
Memories you want to remember and forget.”

Hakkai paled. “Not forget. Never
forget.” If he forgot, then he would risk making the mistake all over again. A
lesson remembered is a lesson learned.

Gojyo curled his fingers under
Hakkai’s chin, “Well, then let’s have a day of not forgetting. Let me take a
shower and hopefully we can get out there before she burns the kitchen down.”

Hakkai chuckled, “How can she mess
up coffee that badly?”

“She’s your friend.”

Hakkai pulled himself to his feet,
“Why does it feel like we’re just waiting for something bad to happen?”

Gojyo chuckled, “Because things
don’t stay good for us for very long.” He pulled off his shirt and shook out
his hair, “We’re not use to things being nice.”

Hakkai watched those crimson stands
dance around Gojyo’s shoulders and rest upon bronze skin. He closed his eyes
and bit his lips tight.

A crimson eyebrow lifted and a
crimson eye peeked over a bronze shoulder. Gojyo grinned.

Hakkai took in a deep breath and
opened his eyes. He nibbled his bottom lip.

Gojyo shook his head, “Your mood
changes like the weather.”

Hakkai shrugged.

Gojyo tucked his thumbs into his
waistband.

“Ahh,
Gojyo, I should finish dressing before you do that.”

“Why?”

“Because
we’ll never leave this bathroom.”

Gojyo dropped his pants.

Hakkai squeezed his eyes closed and
clenched his teeth, “So wrong.” Emerald eyes slowly opened and shifted down.
Hakkai stood in the bathroom attempting to absorb the feast before his eyes.

Gojyo stood upon slate-look tile
with one hand on a curved frosted glass door. Hakkai nibbled his bottom lip as
crimson strands came to a point between bronze shoulders. The soft shadow below
Gojyo’s shoulder blades was visible. Soft muscular shading skated down Gojyo’s
back and came to soft point just above Gojyo’s ass. Hakkai smiled as he eyed
the gentle shading on the outside of Gojyo’s lower cheeks and the subtle curve
of the line between Gojyo’s ass and his thigh. The back of the red-head’s tan
legs were smooth and the strong tendons beckoned emerald eyes to the back of
his lover’s knees. Two soft divots of shadow adorned the back of Gojyo’s knees
and his calves were long and lean. A line of shading ran down the outside of
bronze calves and a whisper of angle punctuated the relaxed muscle. For a brief
moment, Hakkai felt a twinge of guilt for all the people that would not be able
to witness this sight and for a much longer moment he wondered how delicious
this would be with Gojyo damp from his pending shower.

Gojyo’s body carried no trace of the
horrors inflicted upon him. He was completely and totally healed and back to
his perfect “bronze god” state.

Hakkai’s thoughts were stolen from
his hormones when Gojyo closed the frosted glass door. It took every once of
Hakkai’s inner resolve to get dressed and leave the bathroom. He wanted to kick
himself for not taking advantage of the situation the moment the door clicked
closed behind him.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dokugakuji held the reigns of a
flying dragon in his hands and debated his course of action.

Yaone sighed, “Would you like for me
to go to Taikgen with you?”

Dokugakuji sighed. “I’m not
worried.”

Yaone nodded, “Of
course not, I didn’t mean to imply that you were.”

The taller demon rubbed the leather
straps between his index finger and his thumb. Worry churned inside of him and
pulled on his mind. He just wanted word that the little brat was alright. He
needed to know the slacker was still loafing around and making a mess of his
life.

The scouts still provided nothing.
The increasingly useless boxes of circuitry provided no hope. Dokugakuji was torn. Dr. Ni had been notably
quiet lately and spent a lot of time locked up in one of the labs. That was always
foreboding. He couldn’t traipse off on some personal quest and leave Kougaiji,
Yaone and Lirin without his arm. Yet, Gojyo -- Gojyo was his little brother. It
wouldn’t take long to find the little troublemaker, confirm that everything was
alright and then come back here. Of course, it didn’t take long for something
ominous to happen either.

“I want that sutra.”

Dokugakuji turned his head and
watched as Kougaiji approached a flying dragon.

Yaone smiled.

Lirin grinned.

Kougaiji straddled a large dragon
and Lirin wrapped her arms around her brother’s waist. The noble prince spoke,
“There’s a saying. All roads lead to Taikgen and I want to be there when that
sutra gets there.”

Dokugakuji nodded his head and wryly
grinned. Wordlessly, he and Yaone mounted their separate winged steeds.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All showers were done and breakfast
was being digested. The two dragons had been let outside to romp and play in
the way only dragons can and Hakkai was currently in the hot-seat. He was
already three shades of scarlet.

Gojyo squeezed Hakkai’s shoulder,
“That’s too good.”

Hakkai sighed, “It’s not my fault
mass was less than enthralling.”

Sanzo shook his head and eyed the
green-eyed brunet, “Origami out of hymnal pages. Tsk.”

Goku was a bundle of giggles, “Tell us more!”

Ah’Nesty who put on a pair of blue
contacts after her shower, laughed with such force her hair bounced, “But
that’s not the best of it.”

Hakkai pinched the bridge of his
nose, “It’s enough.”

Ah’Nesty waved an index finger
through the air, “The type of origami is the key!”

Crimson eyes went wide as he eyed
his squirming lover.

Hakkai groaned.

Ah’Nesty continued, “I mean, were
not talking swans and boxes here.”

Gojyo bellowed, “You little perv!”

Sanzo knitted his brow. He couldn’t
think of any form of lewd origami. However, from what he was learning of Gonou
-- if it were possible Gonou would figure out how.

Hakkai crossed his arms over his
knees and hid his face. He started to laugh, “We’d leave the,” he lifted his
head, “the questionable shapes inside the hymnals.” He shrugged, “I thought
they made wonderful bookmarks.”

Gojyo smiled; he was relieved Hakkai
decided to join in on the fun.

Ah’Nesty took in a breath, “Then
there was the time where we replaced the incense with sage and oregano.”

Goku knitted his brow as Gojyo
nearly fell from the couch, “Why?”

Hakkai chuckled, “Because when it’s
burned it smells just like marijuana.” He laughed, “The priest got some
interesting looks that day.” Without tape for her mouth, he had no choice in
this trip down memory lane. He either participated and
found the humor or he squirmed.

Sanzo lit a cigarette, “You were
quite the young insurgent.”

If they had known Tenpou, no one would have to wonder about the source of
these antics.

Ah’Nesty eyed Hakkai.

Hakkai eyed her back.

She grinned, “Well?”

Hakkai shrugged.

She smirked, “If you don’t tell
them, I will.”

Hakkai glanced at the fire behind
her and leaned back against the couch. He curled his fingers around Gojyo’s and
sighed, “The real rebellion took place with the yearbook.”

Gojyo knitted his brow, “I’m
surprised you got involved with after-school activities, considering your
resistance to the dogma.” Prior to this time in Blancitic,
Gojyo thought it was plausible for Hakkai to have been class president, but
these recent revelations put his lover in a new light.

Hakkai sighed, “It wasn’t my idea.”

Ah’Nesty nodded, “We cared less
about the yearbook; we just wanted to play with the equipment.” She giggled,
“Unsupervised access to the photo lab.”

Gojyo just had his suspicions about
that second photo album confirmed. He shook his head. What kind of undercover
freak had he found? Most people, if they had pictures like that, had maybe four
or five. He’d never heard of someone having enough to warrant a whole photo
album.

Hakkai interjected, “I was talked
into it.”

Ah’Nesty smirked, “Persuaded.”

Hakkai leaned toward Ah’Nesty,
“Coerced.”

“Encouraged.” She leaned
toward him.

“Forced.” He leaned
closer.

“Urged. She leaned
closer.

“Shanghaied.”

“Coaxed.”

“Beguiled.”

Gojyo stepped in and parted the two
before it came to blows, “Seduced. Now, tell us about this yearbook.”

Hakkai leaned back against the
couch, “Entrapped, but that’s a moot point, because we don’t have any of the
yearbooks.”

Ah’Nesty nodded and laughed, “True,
but I have the proofs!”

Finally, the photo album was opened.
Ah’Nesty took great care and pride in her album. Next to her camera, which was
her livelihood, her albums were her most prized possessions. This album was set
up like a scrapbook. The first picture was off three overlapping hands. The
hands looked fairly young, two were female and one was male.

Hakkai recognized Kanan’s hand
immediately. He softly smiled and gently squeezed Gojyo’s calf. Gojyo returned
the tender gesture against Hakkai’s shoulder.

Ah’Nesty started quickly flipping
through the album looking for the yearbook proofs.

Hakkai took in a deep breath, “Ok,
before you see these, you need to know they were staged photographs.” He put a
hand on the album, “We were making a statement with these pictures. Expressing
our distaste for the ---”

Ah’Nesty lifted an eyebrow, “Don’t
get on your soap box, Som.”

Hakkai nodded, “Expressing our
distaste for a lot of things.”

A blonde eyebrow lifted, “A
protest.”

Hakkai nodded, “To put it mildly,
yes.” He lifted his hand.

Ah’Nesty turned to an 8X10 picture,
“This one ran on the first page of the yearbook. We ran it without a caption
because we felt it spoke for itself.”

“Or didn’t
speak to be more precise.” Hakkai added.

The picture was taken in the main
sanctuary of the campus. They had a mock-up of a cross and Gonou was on the
cross. He was naked. Rosary beads bound Gonou’s wrists to the crossbeam and a
woman knelt reaching up to the man on the cross. Her hand blocked the camera’s
view of Gonou’s groin. The woman was also naked and was wearing a long wig. Her
hair traveled down her back and washed onto the floor. Gonou’s eyes were closed
and his head tilted forward slightly. His long hair rested against his chest.
He had a large piece of silver tape over his mouth and a heavy chain acted like
a “crown of thorns”. There was a huge lock resting on his forehead between his
eyes. There were twelve candelabras lit and approximately fifty white candles
flickered surrounding the scene.

Gojyo winced, “I’m not Catholic and
I think I’m offended.”

Hakkai eyed the picture. He
recognized the statement, but all he could see was his scar-free abdomen.

Sanzo knitted his brow. He’d done
plenty to “buck the system” during his time at various temples and while
wearing his robes, but he didn’t expect anything like this to come from Hakkai
or rather Gonou. “A few disagreements with the church and the freedom of thought and speech,
Hakkai?”

A brunet eyebrow lifted and an
emerald eye looked at the blonde who was covering his chakra,
“Did you enjoy the bacon with breakfast, Kory?”
He knew Genjyo Sanzo wasn’t trying to play a hypocrite card.

Sanzo sucked his teeth and decided
to keep his mouth shut lest his name be changed to “kettle“.

Goku knitted his brow and touched
Hakkai’s shoulder, “You said this got into the yearbook? How?”

Hakkai lifted his hand to Goku’s and palmed the note being handed to him. “That’s a
long story.”

Ah’Nesty laughed, “We broke into
---”

Hakkai interrupted, “Acquired
access.”

She smirked, “Acquired access to the
printer’s facility the night before the book was run. We changed it and they
printed half of them before anyone noticed.”

Gojyo shook his head, “Did they
actually get out?”

Hakkai nodded, “Yes. See, the
picture is a protest, as Sa-- Kory, pointed out, against restrictions placed upon
speech and thought. If they stopped those copies from getting out, then they
proved our point.”

Ah’Nesty chuckled, “They twisted it
on us, though.”

Hakkai sighed, “They used the
picture in some of their PR work to show how different they were from the other
schools.” He shook his head.

Gojyo ran his fingers through
Hakkai’s hair, “How did Kanan feel about this?” He had been under the
impression that Kanan supported the church more than Hakkai or rather Gonou.

Hakkai sighed, “Who do you think the
woman is? Ah’Nesty took the picture.” He chuckled, “She wasn’t too fond of some
of this, but she understood.”

Ah’Nesty flipped the page and
another picture was revealed, “This one ran with the caption: ‘Silence Breeds Shame’.”

This picture was taken at a
confessional. It showed the back of Gonou; he was wearing a black priest robe.
He had his fingers curled around the sliding door of the booth. The door was
partially open and inside showed a sliver of a young boy pulling off his shirt.

Gojyo, who knew more than Hakkai’s
memory would let the demon know, gasped. If his lover could devise this
picture, there was a part of Hakkai that remembered. No doubt about that. It
was probably a very small and very young part of Hakkai that needed some kind
of trigger to speak.

Violet eyes blinked, “Have a problem
with priests?”

Hakkai softly smiled, “Yes, with one
notable exception.”

Sanzo nodded. He understood that
some people abused power bestowed upon them, but he didn’t like the assumption
that a few spoiled apples would ruin the whole barrel. He knew one very
honorable priest. He knew Hakkai didn’t hold faith per se and didn’t fault the
converted-demon for his reluctance to believe in the intangible. Sanzo didn’t
hold faith in “gods” either. He, however, had assumed Hakkai’s reluctance was
over an ecumenical matter, but this was beginning to seem personal.

Ah’Nesty grinned; she was quite
proud of this work. She felt they were thought provoking pictures and the fact
that some people found them disturbing reinforced their validity. She flipped a
few pages, “This is the last of the good ones. This one is titled,
‘Inquisition.’”

Hakkai winced and averted his eyes.
This picture had taken on a whole new meaning for him. He remembered it
vividly.

Gonou was dressed white priest‘s
robes and wore a tall white hat. His back was to the camera and his face was
turned looking over one of his shoulders and down an outstretched arm. Kanan was wearing a black cloak and a green
dress. She was on her knees looking defiantly up at him. Her hands were clasped
behind her back. Gonou held a one-handed sword and the point was resting
between her breasts. The word “ego” was emblazoned upon the blade. His hands
were covered in red paint and they were dripping.

Gojyo squeezed Hakkai’s shoulder,
“Next picture.”

Ah’Nesty knitted her brow. She
quickly processed the situation and wondered how she could have been so stupid.
“Yes, of course. On to lighter subjects.” She flipped
through several candid casual pictures.

Gojyo eyed the memories-in-still
very carefully. The candid shots started out with just Gonou and Ah’Nesty.
Gonou almost always wore a black leather duster and a fedora. Rarely had
Ah’Nesty captured Gonou’s face. It seemed he’d either thrown
up a hand, turned his head or blocked the camera’s view with some object. “Why
didn’t you want you face captured?”

Hakkai shook his head. “I’m not very
photogenic.”

Gojyo chuckled, “Bullshit.” He hated
admitting this, but most of these pictures were hot. He wanted to choke himself
for finding a young teenager attractive, but he had to call it like it was.
Gonou/Hakkai was damn sexy. He was real thankful Hakkai was old enough where he
could enjoy all the sexiness his lover had to offer.

Ah’Nesty sucked her teeth, “That’s
not why. He didn’t like the way his eyes showed up on film.”

Gojyo lifted an eyebrow as he eyed
one of the rare pictures that showed Gonou’s face. Those emerald eyes looked
nothing like what he saw when he held Hakkai. The physical structure was the
same, but there was very little light behind them. They looked nearly dead. He
patted Hakkai’s shoulder and tenderly held onto his lover as years of memories
flipped before them. A candid shot of Kanan came into view and Gojyo noticed
something else about Gonou.

Gonou’s hair when he was with only
Ah’Nesty was down about mid-back. At some point after Kanan got involved Gonou
cut his hair to about shoulder length. Shortly after the first picture of Kanan
the first picture of Gonou smiling showed up. It was a sweet boyish grin, but
it was his smile. A real smile. The first picture with
Kanan also contained the beginnings of the light
behind those emerald eyes.

Early afternoon was spent sharing
stories of the typical teenage pranks: food coloring in decorative fountains;
soap in fountains; soap and food coloring in fountains; freeing the animals in the biology lab;
greasing door handles; unscrewing hinges on bathroom stalls; putting cayenne
pepper in opaque pepper shakers; filling manila envelopes with shaving cream
and sliding them under doors before stomping upon them; spreading limburger
cheese on duct work. Finally, Gojyo had to ask, “Didn’t you have any school
pride?”

Hakkai chuckled, “The chicken
story.”

Ah’Nesty flipped a few pages in the
photo album and pointed to a picture of Gonou and Kanan making tiny capes. Tiny red and black capes with the letters S. M. on them.
“Saint Mary’s our chief rival.”

Hakkai shook his head and looked at
Goku, “I am not advocating any of this behavior.”

Goku laughed.

Hakkai continued,”We made about
fifty capes. All of them were Saint Mary’s colors and had their letters on
them.”

Ah’Nesty added, “Then, we stole a
chicken truck.”

Hakkai corrected, “Clandestinely
acquired the use of a loaded chicken truck.” He sighed, “St. Mary’s was
having their homecoming basketball game. We drove to the school and dressed all
of the chickens in the capes.”

Ah’Nesty interrupted, “Do you have
any idea how hard it is to tie capes around the necks of live chickens? They
peck. A lot. It hurts.” She pointed to her hand,
“Especially, when they get the webbing between your fingers.”

Hakkai wrapped his fingers over his
eyes and laughed. “We opened the backdoor to the gymnasium, threw the caped
chickens onto the court and took off running.”

Gojyo and Goku roared with laughter.
Even Sanzo had to chuckle. He tried not to, he bit his lips closed, but the
laughter was infections.

Hakkai calmed down enough to speak.
“To this day, I cannot figure out why we didn’t get into the truck to get
away.”

Ah’Nesty shook her head, “Why did we
think we could out run a basketball team? A whole team.”

Hakkai snickered, “But, we did.”

Gojyo stretched a hand down to turn
the page in the album and Hakkai’s stomach flipped as he scanned the new page.
Emerald eyes shifted and glared accusingly at Ah’Nesty

Artificially blue eyes went wide in
a trite attempt at innocence.

Emerald eyes narrowed. Shouldn’t one
of those pictures be in the other album? He glanced at the last photo on
the page.

She stifled a snicker. That picture
showed nothing more than his bare shoulders and his face frozen in a moment of
rapture.

Hakkai pushed a hand to his face. If
he didn’t mention it; no one’s attention would be drawn to it. Sanzo and Goku
wouldn’t recognize the look on his face and maybe Gojyo won’t notice it. Maybe,
they will think he was sneezing.

Gojyo scanned the pictures. The
first one was simple enough. Hak--- Gonou was sitting
at a table surrounded by books and papers. He wore a full set of glasses and
one side of his hair had fallen from behind his ear.

Kenren did a
double-take. Put that guy in a white coat and he was the mirror image of Tenpou. He shivered as he tried to pull his eyes away from
a mortal god.

Crimson eyes shifted and the next
picture was mundane also, save for the bottle of tequila sitting next to an
obviously too young to be drinking brunet.

Goku sucked his teeth. “Hakkai drank
before he was of age.”

A blonde eyebrow lifted, “That’s not
Hakkai.” Sanzo pointed at the album, “I don’t know why you are so interested in
this. Those are pictures of a dead man. Those document none of our lives.”

Gojyo sighed, “Don’t be a spoil
sport with the truth, Sa-- Kory.” Sanzo had a point.
These pictures made it real easy to blur the line between Hakkai and Gonou.
Crimson eyes went wide at the last picture on this page; the Gonou/Hakkai line
was basically nonexistent. He knew that expression quite well. “Well now, what
do we have here?”

Hakkai cringed.

Gojyo leaned over to get a closer
look at that picture and whispered, “Is that what I think that is?”

Hakkai nodded, “Yes, I’m sneezing.”

Gojyo chuckled, “Sure, I’m seeing
that other photo album and you know it.”

Hakkai took in a sharp breath, “Next
page, please.”

Gojyo softly chuckled, “That’s the
kind of picture that makes my pants uncomfortable.”

Ah’Nesty flipped the page with a
soft chuckle.

Hakkai stood from the floor and
headed toward the bathroom. Once the door clicked closed, he pulled Goku’s note from his pocket and quickly read it. He shook
his head and began to write out his response:

I’m glad it is working. You are
right and have reason to be concerned. Games are all well and good, but when
one needs them, then that is a sign of an issue. I think you might be on to
something. It does seem like he is seeking some kind of punishment or trying to
prove something. Keep me informed of your progress.

Yes, I’ve noticed Gojyo’s behavior
has improved too. He’s actually helping with food preparations. This can only
be a good thing. We should have done this a long time ago. Maybe the rest of
the way west will be a bit more peaceful.

I will not be held accountable for
the serious bodily harm Sanzo will inflict upon you if you do that. Yes, I can
use my chi to help with the healing, but Sanzo may actually kill you for it.
You need to really think on this and “it looks really cool” isn’t reason
enough. I seriously doubt we will be able to find jewelry shaped like meat
buns. Most piercing professionals will not work on an intoxicated person and
I’m not sure if a Prince Albert is the best
way to go for Sanzo. Think about the activities the two of you enjoy and you
tell me if it is wise. There are other types that might be more appropriate. Do
you want me to draw you some pictures?

I would give you a ride, but I no
longer have the bike. Yes, you would have to wear a helmet. End of story, no
debate, you would have to wear a helmet, but the point is moot. Like I already
said, I don’t have the bike.

I’ll make sure it is unlocked. If I
can figure out an excuse to get out of the cabin today, it will be ready for
you tonight. If not I’ll come up with something tomorrow. If you go real late,
it should be fine. No, they won’t hear you. No one will.

Hakkai shook his head and folded the
note. He slipped it in his pocket and flushed the toilet for no good reason.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gojyo’s head whipped at the sound of
the toilet flush, “Ok, he’s coming back.” He looked at the group, “Good job
guys. Let’s try to keep this light and fun.” He glanced at Ah’Nesty, “No more
of that heavy shit.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hakkai washed his hands.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gojyo looked over at Sanzo, “Good
timing with reminding him that Gonou is dead.” He sighed, “I think I needed
that more than he did.”

Violet eyes rolled and Sanzo sucked
his teeth. Didn’t he make it clear that he was not a part of the kappa’s
orchestrated games?

Ah’Nesty started to laugh when the
bathroom door opened. Gojyo and Goku grinned at Hakkai. Sanzo lit a cigarette.

Hakkai sighed, “What do I have to
deny now?”

Goku chuckled, “You can dance.”

Hakkai paled, “No, I can’t.”

Ah’Nesty held up an 8X10 picture of
a man in a leather duster with a fedora rolling down one arm. She cleared her
throat.

Hakkai sighed as he sat down between
Gojyo’s shins. “I can sway to music. That’s not dancing.”

Gojyo coughed, “Bullshit.”

Goku nodded, “Cut the crap, Hakkai,
it’s easy to tell you are a dancer.”

Hakkai knitted his brow, “How?”

Gojyo snickered. He wanted to say
something about bedroom activities, but he knew that would get him in trouble.
“You point your toes when you jump. You are way too graceful and you have too
much body awareness to not be a dancer.”

Goku sucked his teeth and shoved
Gojyo, “Do you even know what body awareness is?”

Gojyo shoved back, “Do you?”

Sanzo cringed, “Don’t start.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Merciful Goddess waved a hand in
the air, “Shhh! It’s almost my cue.”

Jiroshin knitted his brow. What was
the “shhh” for? He wasn’t talking.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hakkai whipped his head toward the
door, “Is that the dragons?”

Gojyo shook his head, “Don’t go
changing the subject. No, it’s not. They are out doing dragon stuff.”

Ah’Nesty stood and held out her
hand, “Prove it.”

Violet eyes rolled. Great. That’s all he needed was to watch
Hakkai shaking his ass. This trip down memory land was getting painfully
boring.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Merciful Goddess hovered her finger over a button and held her breath. She
had the perfect song ready to play.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hakkai shrugged, “That’s not the
right kind of song.”

Ah’Nesty lifted an eyebrow, “It’s
almost over.”

Hakkai shrugged, “Well, when an
appropriate song is playing, then we can show them I can’t dance.” Maybe, he
could be cooking or bathing Hakuryuu at the time.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The song ended and the Great Kannon pressed a button. She cackled.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Violins came over the airwaves and
Ah’Nesty grinned, “You love this one.”

Hakkai sighed and stood. He took her
hand.

[Who can say
where the road goes. Where the day flows. Only time.]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jiroshin paled, “My lady, don’t you
think they could misinterpret this song?”

She grinned. “Who is to say which is
right?”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[And, who
can say if your love grows as your heart chose. Only Time.]

Hakkai could never resist this song.
He could dance and dance he did.

Gojyo grinned as he watched his
lover get lost in the soft music and angelic voice of the singer. He got lost
in Hakkai giving Fred Astaire a run for his money.

A blonde eyebrow lifted. Hakkai
could not only dance but dance well.

Gojyo’s grin began to fade as he
watched.

[…if your love grows as your heart chose…]

Hakkai seemed to float above the
floor. His movements were fluid and self-assured. He curled his fingers around
her hand and slipped his hand to the small of her back. He whispered, “It’s
been a long time.”

She smiled, “Too long.”

They swayed side to side and Hakkai
stepped out. His outer foot pointed and his free hand slightly curled out. He’d
forgotten all about his audience.

She turned out and curled into his
arm. With her back against his chest and his arm around her waist, she closed
her eyes for a brief moment. She
“rolled” out and he slipped his hand between her shoulder blades.

[Who can say
why your heart cries…]

Gojyo knitted his brow. He realized
he wasn’t watching two people merely dance.

Emerald eyes bounced between sapphire as Hakkai’s lips rested just a whisper from hers.

Ah’Nesty softly blushed as his
breath brushed her skin.

He leaned in to kiss her and took
her into a dip at the last second.

She curled a leg around his weight
supporting leg.

Gojyo pressed his lips together. He
was watching seduction at its finest and most subtle. He was watching two
people that were intimately familiar with each other and it clearly showed. He
was watching two people that knew each other. He knitted his brow and
realized he was watching -- love interrupted.

[When your love lies. Only Time.]

He ran a hand through his hair. They
didn’t have this kind of history. He began to doubt… to question. Hakkai’s
words came back to him -- You don’t know me, how can you love me? He’d
just spent several hours learning about the man she already knew.
No amount of stories or pictures could ever gain Gojyo the knowledge she had of
Hakkai -- Gonou – whatever -- whoever. She --- she.

Wasn’t that how love was supposed
to be? Male and female -- together. That was “the
dream”, right? He, she, some house, picket fence, 2.5 kids
and dog. That was the ideal, wasn’t it?

Gojyo glanced at the door and back
at love interrupted. His face twisted under conflicting emotions. Ah’Nesty had
been noble enough to step aside and let Kanan love Gonou. Due to that act,
Ah’Nesty was spared Kanan’s fate. Maybe, Ah’Nesty was the one that was
connected to Hakkai’s red string of fate. Maybe, being back here wasn’t
serendipity, maybe it was fate.

[Who can say
when the roads meet…]

Gojyo rubbed his fingertips against
his forehead and glanced at the door. He could walk out right now and take the
high road. He could just step out of the way of something that looked so right.
He worried his bottom lip and looked at the two sleeping dragons.

[On your heart….]

If he walked out that door right
now, a family would be reunited and another one started. Hakkai could have “the
dream” if Gojyo would just take to his feet and leave. It would hurt, but he
got along alright before Gonou fell into his life. Living was easy. Pitifully easy. Sickeningly easy. Sadly easy. He never needed love before and why should he
block someone else’s romance? God damn it! How much longer was this song
going to last? Gojyo wrung his hands together as his stomach knotted. He felt
ill.

What could he offer Hakkai? A warm body in bed? A game of poker?

[Who can
say…]

Sure, she was a half-breed and
couldn’t bear children either, but with her Hakkai could have what he’d lost.
He could get back “the dream” he had with Kanan. He could reclaim what was
stolen from him and have the semblance of a normal life.

Gojyo slowly stood and heavily
sighed.

Hakkai and Ah’Nesty shared a laugh
and Hakkai glanced over at Gojyo. His laughter immediately stopped. Something
was seriously wrong with his lover.

He walked up to Gojyo and knitted
his brow.

Gojyo averted his gaze from his …
friend. Fine time for the damn song to end.

Hakkai moved his hand and brushed
his knuckles against the back of Gojyo’s hand.

Gojyo pulled his hand away and
looked at the floor.

Emerald eyes went wide and Hakkai’s
heart began to race. He felt the invisible wall around his lover. He turned
sharply and politely smiled at the others in the room. “Excuse us.” This was
not going to happen again. He recognized with a quickness
that he was on the verge of losing his lover and refused to allow that to
happen. He twisted his fingers in Gojyo’s shirt and pulled.

Gojyo resisted.

Hakkai’s smile strained, “I would
appreciate a word with you on the back porch, please.”

Gojyo nodded and blinked at the
floor. A few words, yeah, he owed Hakkai at least that. It would hurt for a
little while, but maybe they could salvage a friendship out of this. He started
walking to the backdoor.

Hakkai’s hands were shaking by the
time the door closed.

Gojyo stood on the edge of the porch
and crimson eyes took in the landscape. The sky was a nice baby blue; the sun
looked warm; and there were even strands of brush showing in places that got
direct sunlight. Today wouldn’t be a bad day for a walk.

Hakkai sat on the padded hot tub
cover and emerald eyes bore a hole into Gojyo’s back.

The occasional splatter of melting
snow punctuated the silence.

Hakkai sighed and weakly smiled,
“Don’t close off from me.”

Gojyo winced, “You dance
beautifully.” All he needed to do was lift his left foot and put it on the
ground. Just lift it. Lift it. Pick up his foot and --- why weren’t his feet
listening?

Hakkai nodded, “Thank you, but we’re
not here to talk about that, are we?”

Gojyo sighed, “I want you to know
you’re right.”

Hakkai’s stomach flipped, “Why do I
get the feeling, I’m not going to like this?” He swallowed, “Gojyo, please,
turn around and look at me. I can talk to you like this, but I can’t
communicate with you without seeing your eyes.”

Gojyo ran his tongue over his teeth.
That would be why he was standing like this. He knew if Hakkai could see his
eyes then he wouldn’t be able to take the high road. He also knew that he
wouldn’t be able to tolerate the look in those emerald eyes when his feet
finally decided to move, “You are right. I don’t know you.”

Hakkai paled and slid off the padded
cover. He took two steps toward Gojyo.

Gojyo squeezed his eyes closed.

Light tan fingers twisted into a
black fleece shirt, “I’m not letting go until you look at me.”

“She knows you.”

“Look at me.”

“I don’t know you.”

“Look at me, please.”

Gojyo ran a hand though his hair,
“With her you could get back what you lost.”

Hakkai gritted his teeth, “Look at
me.” He curled a hand around Gojyo’s shoulder and tucked a foot behind Gojyo’s
knee. With a streak of crimson, Gojyo was on his back in snow. Hakkai straddled
Gojyo’s hips. “If you won’t look at me, I’ll make you.” He curled his fingers
around Gojyo’s chin and gasped as solid woe shot at him from behind those
crimson eyes. “Has this been decided or do I get a say in the matter?”

“Let me up.” Determination from
those emerald eyes poured over Gojyo.

Hakkai shook his head, “No. I should
punch you,” he smiled, “but, I won’t.”

“Hakkai, listen to me, we don’t
dance like that. We don’t have chicken stories. We don’t… have that kind of
history.”

Hakkai’s mouth hung open, “How can
you say that? We don’t have chicken stories, but we have monkey stories. We
don’t have history like that, but…” He grabbed Gojyo’s hand and pushed it to
his abdomen, “We have a history like this.” He firmly shook Gojyo’s hand
against his scar. “And…” He shrugged, “You’ve never asked me to dance.”

Gojyo winced. “Let me up.”

“To walk or talk?”

“Talk.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

With a sigh, Hakkai stood. He held
out his hand to help Gojyo up.

Gojyo didn’t know why, but he took
Hakkai’s hand.

Hakkai interlaced their fingers and
held on tight.

Gojyo shrugged, “Hakkai, you’re not
the type of guy someone asks if you’ve ever considered getting your dick
pierced. Or, have you ever tied a cape around a chicken’s neck. Or, made adult origami.”

Hakkai nodded, “There’s good reason
for that.”

Gojyo knitted his brow and scanned
Hakkai’s face.

Hakkai softly smiled, “Because, I’m
not the kind of guy that does those things. Cho
Hakkai hasn’t done any of that.” He sighed, “Cho
Gonou…” he sheepishly grinned, “had issues.”

Gojyo wrapped an arm around Hakkai’s
shoulders, “She loves you, ya know.”

Hakkai curled an arm around Gojyo’s
waist, “She loves Cho Gonou. She loves a dead man.”

Gojyo paled and squeezed Hakkai.

Hakkai softly chuckled, “She doesn’t
know me. She knows Cho Gonou.” He sighed, “As far as
I can tell there is one person that has ever loved Cho
Hakkai and that person is Sha Gojyo.”

Gojyo squeezed his eyes closed and
pushed his nose into chestnut locks. “There are things I can’t give you.”

Hakkai pushed his nose into Gojyo’s
neck, “Like what?”

“The dream.”

“The dream?”

Gojyo nodded, “Yeah, ya know, wife, kids, house, dog -- normalcy.”

Hakkai softly smiled and kissed
Gojyo’s neck, “I’m sorry, I must have missed that announcement. I didn’t know I
was supposed to want all of that.”

Gojyo over looked something
important. “The dream” wasn’t Hakkai’s dream.

Hakkai sighed, “Silly me, here I was
happy with the kappa, the monkey, the priest and the dragon.” He gritted his
teeth, “Really, really happy.”

Gojyo slid his fingers into Hakkai’s
hair, “Don’t you want your old life back?”

Hakkai knitted his brow, “Wow, you
just put me in a real difficult spot.”

Gojyo sighed, “I’m sorry.”

Hakkai sighed, “You’ve just asked me
…” He closed his eyes and firmly squeezed Gojyo’s chest, “Given all that I know
now, would I go back in time and change things?
That’s what you have asked me.”

Crimson eyes squeezed closed.

“You have asked me to compare my
feelings for you and Kanan. You have asked me which one of you I love more and
which one I want more.” He slipped his hand from Gojyo’s clothing and balled up
a fist, “You have asked me to compare apples and oranges. That’s not a fair
question and it is a moot question. I can’t go back, so I don’t need to be
concerned with if I want to.” His fist began to shake, “Let me ask you, who do you love more: me or your brother?”

Gojyo’s face twisted as he pondered
the question, “It’s a completely different kind of love. I can’t really say I
love one more or less -- it’s different.”

Hakkai released his fist, “So, you
have your answer. Two different loves, both powerful and yet incomparable.”
Hakkai slipped his arms from around Gojyo and leaned against a wooden support
beam.

Crimson eyes slid into an emerald
gaze.

Hakkai sighed, “Now, it is time for
me to ask you a question. To put you in a difficult spot.”
His bottom lip began to quiver. He swallowed hard, “Who do you love more? Gonou or Hakkai? Which one do you want in your arms and in
your life?”

Gojyo felt all the blood leave his
face. He saw no safe answer to this. If he told his --- lover --- the he loved
Hakkai more then it would be a rejection of the green-eyed man’s early life. A time period that was very much a part of and separate from the
man currently standing before Gojyo. If he told Hakkai that he loved
Gonou more then it would be a rejection of the person Hakkai currently was. It
would be a rejection of the man Gojyo wanted so desperately to hold in his
arms. He saw the line between Hakkai and Gonou, but Gojyo also saw that there
was a bridge between the two personalities that carried the emerald gaze. Two completely different people and yet the same person. He
decided to take a tip from one of the masters of deflection, “That’s not a fair
question, is it?”

Hakkai shook his head, “That’s my
line; you can’t have it.”

Gojyo nodded, “I didn’t expect to
get away with that.”

Hakkai tried to lighten the
conversation, “You get an ‘A’ for effort.”

Gojyo shrugged, “I have a good
teacher. He’s a real motivator.”

Hakkai forced a chuckled and watched
a bird … no, a dragon… correction, three dragons… three flying dragons
streak across the sky. Emerald eyes narrowed. Hakuryuu and Advowlkrie landed on
the hot tub cover.

Gojyo knitted his brow, “What?”

Hakkai waved a hand in the air, “I
don’t think we were spotted.”

Gojyo straightened up, “Demons? Assassins?”

Hakkai weakly smiled, “Relax, it
looked like Kougaiji and his companions.” He shrugged, “They were so far away, I can’t be sure.”

Hakuryuu cooed affirmatively.

Hakkai smiled, “So, it was them.
Hopefully, they did not see us.” He grinned and stared right into those crimson
orbs, “I’m not ready to end my vacation with my lover. Are you?”

Gojyo shook his head, “No, I’m not.
I want to spend a lot more time with my lover.” He shook his head, “I guess I’m
real selfish.”

Hakkai knitted his brow, “What makes
you say that?”

Gojyo slipped his arm around
Hakkai’s waist. Funny how his feet worked to walk toward Hakkai, “I’m such a
selfish ass, that I won’t let you have the dream.”

Hakkai softly smiled, “I say we
create our own dream. We’ve always been the type to do things our own way.”

Gojyo smirked, “To hell with
convention and common wisdom, huh?”

Hakkai nodded, “Yes.” He noted that
Gojyo got out of answering the question, but didn’t have the courage to bring
it up again not now at least. Maybe later.

Gojyo shook his head, “I think I
know her from somewhere.”

Hakkai knitted his brow, “Ah’Nesty?”

Crimson eyes rolled, “No, the chick
DJ on the radio. Of course, Ah’Nesty.”

Hakkai chuckled. “There is only one
‘her’ here isn’t there?” He sighed, “Any idea at all from where?”

Gojyo shook his head, “Nah. None.”

“It would have had to been a while
ago, she was at St. Christopher’s as soon as she was of age.”

“Is her family around here? Cuz, I’ve not been this far west.”

Hakkai shrugged, “She never
mentioned any family. As far as I know she was always in some kind of boarding
school.”

Gojyo sheepishly smiled, “Uhh, Hakkai, her two best friends were orphans. I would
imagine talking about family wasn’t exactly a priority.”

Hakkai nodded, “You have a point.”

Gojyo sucked his teeth, “Man, this
is gonna bug the shit outta
me till I figure it out.”

They approached the door and Goku’s laugher was clearly audible.

Hakkai groaned.

Gojyo chuckled.

Hakkai opened the door, “Whatever it
is, I can explain.”

Goku snickered.

Gojyo squeezed Hakkai’s waist, “We
think we may have seen some of our friends.”

Sanzo lifted an eyebrow, “How
close?” The more important question is which “friends” Kougaiji and his
associates or Homura and his henchmen?

Hakkai walked to the refrigerator,
“Not close enough to invite for lunch, regrettably.”

Goku knitted his brow.

Sanzo lit a cigarette, “Old friends
or new friends?”

Gojyo nodded at Sanzo, “Old
friends.”

Violet eyes narrowed. Kougaiji
wasn’t a concern. He wasn’t the type to get innocent people involved, but his
presence so close could draw Homura’s attention. It seemed
to Sanzo that Homura lived by the adage “by any means
necessary.”

Goku shook his head, “Friends?
Who---”

“Goku, could you, “
Hakkai loudly interrupted, “help me with lunch, please.”

Golden eyes went wide, “Lunch?
Sure!”

Sanzo watched the shorter brunet
walk into the kitchen. Yes, indeed Homura would use
any trick necessary to meet whatever objective the trio had. Goku was not
slipping from their hands again.

Hakkai handed Goku a dish towel and
a note. Goku palmed the note and tucked it into his waistband, “So, whatcha need me to do?” All those times he told Sanzo he
was reading, he meant it. However, he didn’t mean he was reading only books.
Goku had indeed been around Hakkai too long.

Gojyo grinned at Ah’Nesty, “So, what
was so funny? What did I miss?”

She pointed at the photo album,
“Goku found this shirt rather funny.”

Gojyo eyed the picture. Gonou looked
about fifteen years old. He was standing by the bike. The bike was in several
pieces. Gonou had a wrench in one hand and a streak of grease across one cheek.
He was wearing a pair of black jeans and a black t-shirt with white
lettering. The t-shirt read, “Gift
(unwrap below)” with an arrow pointing down. Gojyo shook with laughter.

Hakkai tilted his head, “Which
t-shirt?”

Ah’Nesty snickered, “Gift.”

Hakkai pushed his hand to forehead,
“Oh dear.” He sighed, “Kanan hated that shirt.”

Ah’Nesrty nodded, “Ooohhh! So that’s why you stopped wearing it.”

Hakkai nodded, “Yep. Along with the others.”

Gojyo covered his mouth with his
hand, “Others?”

Hakkai sighed and pointed Goku at
the rice on the stove. He might as well fess up now. Not only would the
pictures tell all his secrets, but it might make Gojyo feel better if he just
shared. He started ticking off on his fingers, “Muff diver shirt.”

Gojyo doubled over in laugher, “You
had a muff diver shirt?” He leaned on
the couch, “The real deal? ‘No muff too tough, we dive at five.’ The real thing?”

Hakkai nodded, “Yes. I also had one
that read, ‘Jesus forgot the safe word.’ I wasn‘t allowed to wear that one
anywhere near campus. “

Gojyo’s knees hit the floor and then
he suddenly stopped laughing. Did that green eyed paramour know what a safe
word was before their kink games? He snickered. Technical knowledge without
practical experience sucked. “What else?”

Hakkai started chuckling, “I had a
Dick shirt.”

Violet, gold and crimson eyes slowly
shifted to Hakkai.

Hakkai nodded, “It had stick figures
on it and the captions were, ‘See Dick. See Dick buy a lollipop. See Dick lick.
See Dick suck. Any questions?’” He started to laugh,
“I really liked that one.”

Ah’Nesty scratched her head, “You
also had a Captain Condom shirt -- hot pink.”

Hakkai’s shoulders shook, “Yeah, hot
pink. With a caped condom on it.” He waved a hand in the
air, “A few others, I can’t remember.” He glanced at Gojyo, “I’m sure they are
in there somewhere.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Merciful Goddess wore a look
that defined “smug”. She blinked at Jiroshin, “And you doubted my choice of
music.”

Jiroshin lifted an eyebrow and
crossed his arms over his chest, “I still do.”

She waved a hand in the air, “Oh,
they’re stronger for it. The conversation isn’t over, but they’re stronger than
when this day started.” She stretched, “I’m so good.”

Jiroshin rolled his eyes, “So, are
we heading back now?”

Her eyes went wide, “And risk
traveling when one of them may decide to have fun? No way.”
She pointed a finger at him, “Remember, I was cheated last time. I’m not taking
a chance on missing out on anything good.”

Jiroshin sighed, “Whatever happened
to ‘I saw this coming from a mile away’?”

She sucked her teeth, “Some things I
don’t see.”

He nodded, “Are you really that bored?”

She sighed and looked at her dials,
sliders and LED readouts, “Yes.”

Jiroshin snatched her pony tail,
snapped her head back and planted a kiss right on her lips. Bet you didn’t
see that coming.

Her arms flew out to the side and
she gripped the edge of the control panel. About damn
time.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Hakkai
and Goku worked on lunch, Gojyo flipped through the photo album. As years
went by in still photographs, he noticed something. Two earlier suspicions were
confirmed. In the beginning of the photo album, when the pictures were just
Ah’Nesty and Gonou, Gonou wore his hair rather long. Straight brunet locks down
to mid-back. Shortly after Kanan showed up, Gonou’s hair progressively got
shorter until it rested around Gonou’s shoulders.

Gojyo paused and eyed a picture
toward the end of the photo album. Gonou and Kanan were frozen in time with
their arms around each other’s waist. Kanan had her head tilted to his shoulder
and Gonou had his face turned toward her with his nose dipping into her hair.
It looked like they were laughing and Gonou wore a small metal cross around his
neck. Gonou’s hair brushed his collar. That was the length it was when Gojyo
nearly tripped over the bleeding brunet.

Gojyo snickered and tossed his hair
over his shoulder. He reasoned that Kanan, being the straight arrow she was,
must have made Gonou cut his hair. Crimson eyes shifted and watched two brunets
working diligently in the kitchen. He found Hakkai attractive in short hair or
long hair. A part of Gojyo really liked the long hair. He thought that would be
fun to play with and it seemed to bring out a little of the “bad boy” hidden
inside the now conventional man. He grinned and wondered how much encouragement
would it take to get Hakkai to grow it back out.

Along with
the hair, he confimred something about Hakk-- Gonou’s eyes. The “deadness” began fading
once Kanan started showing up.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Taikgen?” Homura lifted an eyebrow.

Shein nodded,
“Yes, there seems to be a flurry of movement there.”

Light tan fingers folded together in
front of mismatched eyes, “Let me make sure I’m understand you. Kougaiji, his
entourage and a slew of other demons are all converging in Taikgen, but no one
is attacking?”

Shein nodded, “So
it seems.”

Zenon shook his
head, “Why Taikgen? That’s just a college town.” He snapped his fingers, “And
there is another reason that town is known.” He couldn’t recall it. “ Whatever, why Taikgen?”

Shein sighed, “I
don’t know, but something is going to happen.”

Homura sighed, “I
suppose we should be there. Kougaiji is always a good indicator of where the
Sanzo party will be.” He was growing bored with cat and mouse game. It
shouldn’t be too much longer before Goku is strong enough for his destiny.

Zenon sucked his
teeth, “Man, I don’t need to be around a bunch of frat boys with their kegger parties and puke.”

Homura smirked, “Zenon, you forget the other side of that equation.”

Zenon lifted an
eyebrow.

Shein sighed,
“Sorority girls.”

Zenon grinned,
“Yeah, sorority girls with their short skirts, greek
letters and keg parties.” He slung his machine gun over his shoulder, “I
suppose we could go just to look around and see what’s going on.”

Shien shook his
head. Wasn’t Zenon the one that said the quiet life
with a wife and kids was the life for him?

Homura smirked,
“I’m glad you agree.” He stood from his chair. His cape billowed behind him as
he walked, “Shein. Zenon.”

Shien opened one
eye.

Zenon lifted his
head, “Yeah?”

“Let’s go.”

Be they mortal or immortal. Be they
500 or 18. Be they heretic or fallen protector. Men will be men and a pretty
face in a short skirt will draw their attention. Of course, these three men were just going to
Taikgen to see what was drawing everyone else’s attention.

Of course, and let the history books
reflect that purely mission-essential motivating factor.

Of course…
of course…

That’s their story and they are
sticking to it.

The castle doors closed behind them
and Zenon knitted his brow, “Wait. Taikgen, isn’t
that where ---”

Shien
interrupted, “Yes, that’s where Tenpou got hurt.”

Homura lifted an
eyebrow, “Oh, that battle.”

Shien nodded,
“That battle. Kenren never forgave himself
of that.”

Zenon shook his
head, “Ya know we don’t hear much from Gojun these days.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gojyo eyed a candid picture that
must have been taken by a fourth person. He shrugged and figured it was one of
the couple that ran the place. It was Gonou, Ah’Nesty and Kanan all hanging
upside down from a tree limb. They all had their arms straightened out. The sun
was setting and long shadows decorated the ground beneath them. Three sets of
hands were clasped together.

Gonou’s shirt had
fallen with gravity and a smooth abdomen was exposed. Despite or maybe because
of the smile on Gonou’s face, Gojyo decided to not
call attention to this picture. Some things just didn’t need to be thrown in Hakkai’s face and this was one of them. A joke was a joke,
but this was a bit too real.

If the Gonou
locked inside of Hakkai had known that picture wasn’t being pointed out to
Hakkai, he would have been rather upset. He’d been waiting all day for that
picture to come into discussion. He had very fond memories of this place and
that picture meant a lot to him. It meant friendship, laughter, frivolity,
trust and fun – something Hakkai really needed more of
in his life. He didn’t want those memories or that tree to die. If only he
could figure out a way to get Hakkai to understand that.

Unceremoniously, Gojyo turned the
page, eyed the next picture and started to snicker. “Sa-- Kory,
ya gotta see this.”

A blonde eyebrow lifted as Sanzo
leaned forward and eyed the photo album.