The Spring Of Drowned Thief

“Akane dear. Please don’t be mad. We just want you to be safe. You’ve been like this for the last two hours…”

“I’m not talking to you dad!”

“Please don’t be mean… You know I can’t stand it when one of my little girls is mad at me.”

“Leave me alone! Boys are jerks and your one of ‘em!”

“Now, now Akane. I don’t want arrows or some thing flying at us like last time.”

“That wasn’t my fault Auntie! Kuno was being a pervert again!”

“Shampoo still wonder about arrows. We should be much far away from boarder. Maybe I take wrong turn?”

“Untie me!”

“We’ve been through this already sister dearest. We cannot trust you without adult supervision at all times. Which reminds me. Why doth thy dearest sibling carry explosives?”

“They helped didn’t they!? I demand to be released!”

“Good doctor. May I have that gagging cloth back?”

“Certainly Mr. Kuno.”

“My thanks.”


“Hey.”

“What mercenary girl want?”

Nabiki’s eye twitched a little. “Are you sure this is the right way? We’ve been seeing quite a bit of hostility. This IS a boarder right?”

Shampoo pulled out a map to look at it once again. “I positive. We suppose to be about mile way from boarder. But I follow all arrows. This big secret road.”

“Some secret, seems like every one knows about it.”

Shampoo’s eyes half closed and her face became annoyed. “We always turn around and go straight through…”

“Don’t get me wrong. It just feels like we already are going straight through.”

“We no can be. See rock over there? I hit stupid Mousse with it.”

“That is a pretty big rock, and that imprint is also about the same size as him.”

“See, I know exactly where I going.”

“Ok, ok. But if we’re bombarded again, I’m taking over.”

“Fine by Shampoo!”

*Twang!*

Shampoo examined the crude arrow stuck in the map she was holding. The arrows were mostly just sticks with no point on them, but they served as a warning to not come any further. Shampoo quietly knocked the arrow out, folded the map once and handed it to Nabiki. “Ok, you win.”

Nabiki took the map silently when suddenly another arrow stuck into the map, almost ripping it in half. “Kuno baby, I think he’s up in that tree, can you go take care of him?”

“With gusto! YAR!” A few moments later a tree was seen falling over with a Musk warrior flying out of it screaming. “Coward! Come hither!”

Nodoka sighed a little. “I feel that my student will forever be an idiot…”

Akane put a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry auntie. He’s always been like that, it’s not your fault.”

“I suppose so… I think we should all take a break. I’m not as young as I use to be.”

Kasumi went over to Nodoka with a smile. “I brought along lots of- EEK!!”

Every one froze and turned towards Kasumi’s direction. Three Musk had dropped down in front of her with mallets. One spoke quickly with a smile. “Would you like to have some tea miss?”

Kasumi was never one to turn down an offer and with out even thinking answered. “Oh, my. That would be nice, ummm ooo!” The leader picked up Kasumi and hefted her over his shoulder in a flash and shot off into the woods. The other two separated and one went for Akane while the other went for Shampoo. Fortunately Akane was in anti-pervert mode so her mallet found the face of her attacker, but he was sent flying into Nabiki’s direction. She neither had the time nor, the ability to react and was soon in the embrace of a lunatic wanting to have tea with her. Shampoo put up a good fight, but was knocked out with a mallet. As she faded out of consciousness her last thoughts were, ‘NO!!! I MARRIED AGAIN!’ She was hefted onto a shoulder and taken away.

Tofu had left in the direction before any one could move, his sights set on Kasumi. Soun did his best to collect himself and screamed. “NO!!! My little girls!” Akane soundly booted him and quickly they were running off into the kidnappers direction. Nodoka forgot her age and felt like a kid again. She was instantly filled with energy and she moved quickly through the foliage. Her Student came beside her in an instant and soon every body was part of the hunt. Save one.

“How dare they leave me here tied up and defenseless! I shall punish each and every one of them!” Kodachi struggled with her bindings, but they had done an excellent job with the knots. It wasn’t until her attention was fully away from her surroundings that a figure walked up next to her.

“My, my, my… What do we have here?”

Kodachi’s head snapped to the side quickly as she examined the redhead standing next to her cart. “It’s you! Quick! Untie me servant!”

The red head laughed loudly giving off a sound that could only rival Kodachi’s own insane laugh. “Now why would I want to do that my dear? Surly this is a reward for all my efforts. You’re such a lovely girl too.” The redhead leaned into the cart and took in a deep breath taking in all of Kodachi’s smells.

She slowly pulled out a rusty knife and slid it gently along Kodachi’s stomach.
She stared wide-eyed for a moment and gather whatever senses she had. “W-what are you doing harlot!? I demand that you release me this instant, or I shall fire you from my service!”

The redhead smiled as she quickly cut Kodachi’s cheek. Kodachi flinched a little but kept staring. “Are you mad? Stop this!”

The redhead just kept smiling at her gently and she leaned in and licked the blood from her face. “I don’t think I should love. You taste so goooood. So, good it makes me quiver! Should I save you for later, or should I eat you all up now? Maybe I can cut you up? That sounds like a good idea doesn’t it?”

Kodachi shivered and felt a bit sick, but then some thing came to her. She had a small knife in her bracelet. She worked it into her hands as the psycho continued to give her small cuts all about her body. Her bindings finally cut through; she brought her arms forward and pushed the cleaning lady back. She made quick work of her legs and soon she was free and running in the direction her brother went.

The redhead laughed and picked her self up while brushing off her red dress. “She’s so full of energy. Oooo! I want her even more now!” The redhead let a long blade slide from the sleeve of her dress and touch the ground. It looked like a long rusty cleaver that dragged along the ground as she walked. “I can’t possible let you go now, can I love? Oh, it’s been years since I last hunted some one so pretty. It’s decided! I’ll kill her before I’m done! And next is you, Jack!” She laughed like a witch as she ran forward through the forest.


“This is disgusting… They’ve all been cut open…”

“I think I’m gonna be sick… urk…”

“Ukyo!”

Ryouga ran over and held her head as she heaved. Cologne let them be as she went over to a scout that had been nailed to a tree. A note was carved into his chest. ‘Danger Ahead’

Cologne took that moment to turn to the others and speak. “If you don’t wish to go on with me, I won’t hold it against you. It seems he is becoming more and more dangerous.”

Hikaru put a hand on Ukyo’s back and asked. “A-are you ok?”

Ukyo shook her head as she spat out some of the foul taste in her mouth. “No… No I’m not… I wasn’t expecting this… Maybe some one beaten up or some thing, but not this… urk…”

Ryouga wanted to do the same as Ukyo, but he managed to keep a hold of himself. He found it a bit unnerving to see Hikaru not at all affected by his surroundings. Maybe he had his own way of dealing with it. Ryouga stood tall over the other two, as he told Cologne he’d keep going. Ukyo tried turning around but couldn’t. “I don’t want to see this…” Ryouga took off one of his bandanas and handed it to her.

“You don’t have to.”

Ukyo declined the offer. “No. I have to see where I’m going.”

“Ok, just remember I’m here ok?”

“Yeah… Yeah… Thanks…” Ukyo looked straight ahead at Cologne and ignored every thing around her. “I’ll… go to… If for any reason, to prevent this…”

Cologne shook her head. “I do not advise it, but I won’t tell you not to come. Let go quickly, before some one mistakes this for our work.”

The three teens nodded and made their way forward. None noticed the one up in the trees mumbling to him. “Stubborn, aren’t they? Are you sure these are the right guys for the job? What’s that? No… just the one I got. The other three are fucked…. No it’s not Jack, he goes after weak women and keeps a pretty low profile. I’d say it’s the general… No it can’t be her; she’d only go through a place that wouldn’t cause her any harm. Are you getting worried? …Don’t worry; you have to have some faith out here…. No I don’t know why it happened, but I’ll fix it… It’s your plan stupid, I’m just the follow through guy… Don’t get mad at me, this is as much your fault as mine… It’s not good to panic you know? He’ll make it in time… Well, to be honest, I never asked myself that question… I guess I am… Look if all you’re going to do is bitch then-… Oh, for fuck sakes… Fine, have it your way then, its no skin off my ass if-… Oh, yeah… *sigh* Ok, ok, I won’t do that again, but you better start pulling your head out of your ass real soon. This is serious stuff, believe me I wouldn’t have done what I did if I didn’t think it was a last resort situation… Yeah, I know… Yeah… I’ll keep that in mind, but for now I need a messenger. I’ll side track him later, believe me he’s not going any where soon and he’s easy enough to find… Shit never thought about that… Yeah, better hurry.”


Kyva jumped out of the tree and landed with out a sound. He pulled his knife out of the Musk warrior’s neck and started performing a few small moves. After a few seconds his hand started to glow and the wounds on the warrior were healed slowly. “I may have waited too long…” He spoke too soon, as the Musk warrior took in a breath of air and his eyes shot open. To prevent him from shouting out Kyva place a hand over his mouth and told him to shut up. After the fallen warrior gathered his wits he placed a searching hand on his neck and looked at his killer/savior in the eye. Before he could say, or do any thing Kyva spoke first. “What’s your name kid?”

The warrior stared at him with little trust in his eyes and finally let out. “Parsley.”

Kyva raised an eyebrow. “Must be a new fashion thing. Any ways kid, I need you to do some thing for me.”

“You killed my friends!”

*Wack!*

“Shut up, I didn’t kill ‘em. You were about to screw up my plan, but things seemed to work out. You should be thankful I brought you back.”

“Why should I believe you!”

*Wack!*

“I thought I told you to keep it down. And you should believe me, because if you don’t, I’ll rip your goddamn throat out right here. Do you understand?”

Parsley nodded slowly with a bit of fear in his eyes. “Good, now listen up. It’s nothing hard, I just want you to go to Prince Herb and tell him his Uncle Kyva is coming to pay him a visit.”

Parsley snorted out a sign of disbelief. “Prince Herb has no family! The royal family died off long ago. He’s the only one left.”

“I control the power of life and death kid. Believe me, he’s not alone. Now get you ass moving, or I’ll move it for you. Tell him to expect me there tomorrow evening.”

Parsley got up and gave him a glare. “Fine, I’ll tell him, but don’t think our scouts are going to watch you pass by!”

“I wouldn’t dream of it. Oh, and don’t fight those guys up ahead. They’re a bit out of your league. Oh, yeah. If you see any one that looks like me, stay the hell away from them. You got that?”
Parsley didn’t answer but took off into the trees with out any sound. “They must’ve crossed him with a flying squirrel and an idiot or some thing… Fuck! Stop nagging me will you!? I’m going, I’m going!… I’ll take the goddamn shortcut then. I know this place like that back of my hand-Cripes! What the hell is that!? It looks like some sort of rotting mole, damn that’s disgusting!… It was a joke… I’m moving…”


Tofu laid at the edge of the foliage at the boundaries of a large clearing. His face was covered in scratches and nicks from his pursuit, but his sights were locked on a single target, and there she was, up atop a temple, tied to a chair, drinking tea. With her, Nabiki, and a dazed Shampoo. He had left with out thinking and got himself quite the head start on the rest, but that wasn’t going through his mind right now. What was going through his mind was the dirty thought of some damn dirty bastard laying a hand on his woman. His mind had become irrational for once and he was about to do the only thing he could think of. A full frontal assault. This plan was moments away from being executed when a hand touched his shoulder and asked. “How are they?”

Tofu answered Soun with. “Not good… She’s having tea…”

Soun didn’t know how to interpret that, but he gave a look, and didn’t see a whole lot wrong with the scene, other then the fact that his girls were tied up. “It doesn’t look that bad… Maybe we can reason with them?”

“Hath thy ears gone insane!? Damsels in distress! Musk knights! This is surly a battle if I have ever seen one!”

“You think every thing is a battle. How about you put a sock in it for now pervert.”

“Ah, tis the fair Akane Tendo. Once I have freed these ladies we can all date together!”

Nodoka came up with a swift hit to the back of Kuno’s head. “Quiet! I don’t want them to know we’re here.”

“Sorry Sensei…”

“Stop talking idiot!”

“Thine words hurt thee fair-“

“Shut up!”

Kodachi took this moment to come in screaming. “Brother! Brother! Your cleaning lady has gone insane!”

“Sister! How did you cut yourself?”

“That crazy harlot cut me while I was tied up! Please fire her! She won’t listen to me!”

It was at this moment that the group was surrounded by Musk warriors and guards of the temple. Every one blinked for a moment now knowing that their cover had been blown long ago. A few spears and knives surrounded every one as they huddled into a circle. The Shaman stood atop the temple and signaled for every one to come closer. The guards constantly wheeled around the group and lead them to a sort of circle area drawn on the ground. The Shaman held out his hand and spoke. “Why are you here? Why have you come to Panda Temple?”

Every one wanted to choose their words carefully right now, save Kuno, whom owned one of the biggest mouths in both China and Japan. “We are here to save these fair damsels, thoust hath plundered from us!”

The Shaman scowled and pointed at the intruders. “These are our sacrifices! Once we have tea with them, they shall be sent to the holy plains to give our master strength! You can’t just barge in here and make demands outlander! Tie them up and hang them from the trees! They’ll serve as a further sacrifice.”

Kuno took this moment to go flying into battle, as did the others not knowing what else to do. The unfortunate part was, that it was pretty much a losing battle. As valiant as the Kuno siblings were, they just didn’t have the bronze to back up the bark. Soun was always a bit of a wuss and never really trained much these days. Tofu and Nodoka put up a good fight, but the volume of fighters overwhelmed them. Akane was the last one standing with four guys surrounding her. She knocked two out, but they ended up netting her and bringing her to the ground. About thirty minutes past after that of the Musk playing tea party with only one real participant. It was pretty embarrassing really. Every one was red with rage along with broken egos.

A ray of light shined upon them when Kodachi pointed out a figure moving along in the bushes. Well, it was more like a ray of light to every one else; it was pure terror for her, because she knew exactly who it was. “Brother! It’s your insane cleaning lady! She’s going to kill us all!

“Stop this nonsense sister! She may have been a bit violent on the ship, but I find it quite unlikely that she would want to kill us!”

Akane twisted her head as best she could to look behind her to see Ranma. “Dad! I think Ranma’s in the bushes!”

Soun’s eyes squinted half closed and he spoke with a bit of malice in his voice. “Is that so?”

“Yeah, I think I saw a flash of red hair over there.”

“Where’s my Ranma!?”

Every one did their best to turn and look. Nodoka yelled off into the distance. “Ranma! Where are you!?” A guard poked Nodoka with the end of his spear. “Quiet down! Kiwi, go see what going on over there.”

Kiwi made his way off into the dark jungle. There were a few shuffling sounds but otherwise silence. Nodoka looked up at the guard with a glare. “You better not hurt my Ranma!”

The guard crossed his arms and spat. “If I find any more people out there, I’ll personally take care of them.”

“You-“

“What did you find Kiwi?”

The guard that originally went off walked back into the clearing slowly, with his spear hanging limply in his hand. The Captain’s eyes grew wide as he saw Kiwi covered in blood. “What happened out there!”

Kiwi didn’t answer, but kept moving himself forward. After getting a bit closer the captain noticed that his man was missing his windpipe and had a hole in his stomach. “What the…”

The body of Kiwi hit the ground revealing a short redhead with a huge blade and a large chunk of flesh in her mouth. Her face covered in the guard’s blood, she could only giggle cutely. She spat out the throat in her mouth and laughed loudly. “I hate the Musk soooo much, but you all taste so good!” Before the captain could say any thing he had a large crude blade cut him straight up the center of his body, all the way to the top of his forehead. He shivered a bit before falling down. She laughed once again while ripping a piece out of his shoulder and started chewing on it. Kodachi was that first one to scream followed by Akane and Nodoka. Soun and Kuno passed out as Tofu watched in disbelief.

The Musk warriors were alerted and saw what every one was screaming about. Immediately Musk filled the area, even some not even seen before. The redhead didn’t waste any time as she went into some sort of weird ballet sword swinging. She laughed and giggled as she swerved around the fighters and let the blood washed over her. Bits and pieces flew in several directions as the fighters tried their best to ward her off. Akane started breathing heavily as if getting ready to throw up. She didn’t know whom to ask so she just let the question fly wild. “What the hell is Ranma doing!?”

The question went ignored as the few still able to watch the girl laugh in ecstasy while yelling. “It’s raining blood! It’s beautiful loves! Can’t you see it!?”

Every thing was halted when a gunshot went off. Every one stopped fighting to see a man standing at the other end of the clearing holding a pistol in the air. Those who were still awake from the onslaught let their mouths drop at the figure they saw. Akane was the first one to ask another unanswered question. “Is that Ranma…?”

At one end stood a crazed female Ranma with a long cleaver and at the other end stood a male Ranma with a gun. The Musk warriors didn’t know what to make of it, but then again neither did the people who knew him. The smoke from the pistol cleared away and he opened his mouth to let out an English accent. “Marry… You know I love you… But I cannot let you do this. We must leave these poor people out of this...”

So-called Marry stepped forward with stars in her eyes. “Jack! Where have you been love? I’ve missed you so much…” She let her blade start to drag on the ground again as she ran in his direction. “I love you so much, Jack… Let’s become one. Now and forever!”

So-called Jack turned quickly towards the bushes he had come out of. “I can not do that yet… First you must leave these poor people alone…”

Marry went into a craze as she ran faster slowly lifting her blade into the air. “Any thing for you love! Just come back to me!”

Jack ran hard into the bushes, vanishing almost instantly along with a screaming Marry in a blood red dress.

The Shaman looked down at his fallen followers with disgust, and then at the prisoners. “You dare bring that monster into Musk territory!? She slaughtered them and laughed! What do you have to say for your selves!?”

Every one was too dumb to speak at that moment. The prisoners hadn’t known what they saw at all. Kuno was the only one able to speak, having seen the end of it. “S-she’s become a demon of blood and fire… I-I have to save her…!”

Kodachi kept a distant look in her eyes, not being able to focus on any thing real. Akane could feel Nodoka quivering her as she gripped a cheap sword, she’d picked up from a dead guard, and held it like a safety blanket. She was cutting through her bindings with fear in each stroke. Soun had managed to free his hands and held Akane’s head in his chest to cover her eyes from the sights. Tofu was the second to speak. “Please untie me! I’m a doctor, I can help!”

The Shaman paid no attention to the doctor and called forth his followers into a small group around him. His various arrays of trinkets jingled and clattered as he moved. He gave off the feel of a lion collecting his pride. “Listen all. We must burry the dead and finish the sacrifice. Once these are complete we will hunt down this demon!” All the followers nodded and started their rounds. It was at this moment that fate decided Mousse should catch up with the others. He came through the shrubs and into the clearing shouting for Shampoo to answer. All heads turned his way as he froze in his steps.

Taken back by the sights that greeted him, he was finding it hard to think let alone act. The Musk on the other hand wasted no time taking him down and binding him. Any hope of escape left the group as Mousse was thrown in with the others. Though most had gotten rid of their bindings, there was still the circle of guards that trapped them. None were really thinking about escape any more any ways. They were to busy thinking what had happened. The sobs of Nodoka could be heard, as her face remained buried in her kimono. Akane just kept holding her father while shaking. The three up at the temple just sat and stared. Kasumi was the one that looked like she was going to pass out though. Every one was scared at this point. The danger was gone, but the carnage still lingered.


Before any thing more could happen Kuno opened his big mouth. “Why may I ask, did you do nothing to free us?”

Mousse turned back and glared at Kuno. “What did you expect me to do!? I came here to help you guys and I find a slaughterhouse! Sorry, if I didn’t know what to do!”

“It’s not your fault. None of us were expecting it.”

Akane pulled away from her dad and looked around. “Was that even him…? Are there two of him now…?”

“Five to be precise.”

Nodoka was heard mumbling Ranma’s name over and over again, but every one decided to just ignore it for now. She probably needed some time alone.

Soun kept an arm around his daughter and looked up at the temple to see his other girls. “We have to save them…”

“I’m on top of it.”

Tofu looked around in horror. “We have to help these people. It might already be too late!”

“I said, I’ve got it covered.”

Mousse looked up for a second and started looking around with a questioning look on his face. “Who keeps answering our questions?”

Tofu gasped and he was heard scurrying away from Nodoka’s direction. Every one made an effort to look her way. What they all saw was Nodoka’s back to the group and her son sitting beside her with an arm around her and her head on his shoulder. “I’m answering them.” He kept rubbing Nodoka’s back with a soothing motion and spoke softly into her ear. “I’m not your Ranma, but I don’t mind pretending… Pretty ladies shouldn’t be left to cry...” Every one watched in horror as Nodoka held onto him tighter.

“Sensei!”

Mousse looked carefully at this Ranma and finally asked. “Kyva?”

He turned his head back a little and gave Mousse a smile. Akane looked hard at him and asked, “Who’s Kyva?”

He turned his head once again in Akane’s direction. “I am. You guys are from the ship aren’t you? Sorry about your hand miss. I’ve got a bit of a short temper…”

Soun glared at him with a look that seemed to try and burn a hole in the back of Kyva’s head. “That’s no excuse!”

“You must be her dad. I don’t blame you if you don’t like me. Not too many people do. But I am willing to help you people out a little, as my way of saying sorry for acting like a brute. And to make it up to this lovely lady… She’s been through a lot, but she’s been strong…” Kyva continued rubbing her back and holding her close.

Mousse gave him a rather cold look. “How can we possible trust you? Better yet, how did you get here before me?”

“Easy questions to answer. You’re going to trust me because you don’t have a choice in the matter, and I could have just left you here. And to answer how I got here before you. Well, I just have my ways.”

Akane scooted over beside Kyva. “Are you really not Ranma?”

Kyva nodded his head. “I assume this is his body I’m using right now, but believe me, the spirit is mine.”

“Why are you controlling him…?”

“I’m not controlling him, I’m merely taking on his form, because it was the one we were all given. I can change my looks, but it’s a bit pointless out here. As your next question will probably be, where is he, I neither have an idea, nor do I have contact with this Ranma. I’m on a bit of a mission right now, and my orders are undisclosed.”

“You’re hiding something.”

Kyva examined her up and down for a few moments. “Of coarse I am. It’s my job, besides you’re being awfully friendly. I was expecting a bit more hostility from you.”

“My hands aren’t free yet, other wise you would be.”

“Gotcha. Anyways, every thing is already set up, just have to wait a few seconds.”

Akane gave him an odd look. “What did you do?”

“You’ll see kiddo.”

“Why do you keep calling us kids?”

“I’m 193 years old. I feel that this gives me a bit of seniority over you. How about you?”

“I think you’re lying…”

“Believe what you will. You just saw two others like me didn’t you?”

“Well… Yeah…”

“And I’m not one to hack people to pieces…As effective as it may be, it’s not my style.”

Akane stared at him for a few moments. His face was the same, but he defiantly had a different feel to him. His face looked tired, and even though he was sitting, he still seemed to carry himself sluggishly. The personality was the definite difference along with the weird way of speaking. The personality was filled with a bit of rage along with a natural charisma and the voice was a deeper mannish voice, with a bit of rasp in it. He really gave off the impression that he didn’t care what happen to other people, unless he’s repaying a debt, so to speak. Remembering back on an old conversation Akane’s eyes grew wide. “You’re the thief aren’t you?”

His nose scrunched up a little, and his body let off a jolt, which tightened it. “Th-thief!? Is that really my title after all these years!?”

Mousse tossed a small pebble at him to get his attention. “Hey! You’re making a scene! Quiet down.”

Kyva let out a breath of air slowly and grit his teeth a little. “Oh, those bastards! Who named the springs!? Musk or Amazons!?”

Before Mousse could answer there were small explosions going off all around them, tearing up earth and tossing it every which way. “Oh! Time to act!” Kyva was up and out of Nodoka’s hold, letting a long dark over coat hit the ground. He looked down at the group with a lazy eye and pointed to Mousse. “That’s your girlfriend up there, so you save her. I’ve got smoke bombs set up all over the place; it’ll cover your escape. Head northwest from here and keep going. You should end up at a castle of some sort within a day, don’t expect any hostility, I’ll clear the way for you, just don’t expect to see me again any time soon.” Kyva began running off, but stopped himself and hit his head as if remembering some thing and turned back to them. “Oh, yeah, I cut all your ropes a while ago, so don’t sit there pretending to be trapped. See you all later.”

Every one seemed to blink in unison as they pulled against their ropes and pulled away without any resistance. Every one watched as Kyva walked into the middle of the confusion and dropped troops with quick hits and various maneuvers, which pinned the enemy down, he was quite literally clearing a straight-line path in the direction he noted. The group gathered and started following behind Kyva while three warriors stayed behind. Kuno, Mousse and Tofu all gazed up at the temple to their women in need. The Shaman had already retreated inside with his priests. The temple guards were well trained and stood their ground at its steps, unmoving to the devastation around them. Six warriors stood there, all seeming to have been crossed with eight hundred pound gorillas and maybe a rhino. It was hard to say, but they defiantly weren’t there for a tickling contest. Things were about to become pretty bleak when a sudden shriek came from within the temple, and Tofu’s ears toned into exactly whose voice it was. His face dropped with an instant wave of fear and just as fast he took off up the stairs, plowing over two of the guards leaving them in a daze. This still left four huge demi-humans with hammers against a guy with a disabled arm and another with a busted sword and a disabled brain. Mousse decided to follow the doctor’s method and leave the stupid one behind. This would have been a great plan if they all didn’t turn around and go after the doctor. Mousse sighed at the oncoming uphill battle.

A few pulverized Musk later Tofu found himself in a great hall where the Shaman and the priests were busy conducting their ritual. Tofu saw his girl chained to a pillar with a red mark on her face. She had a few tears in her eyes and she called for him. The Shaman took this time to do the single most stupid thing that any one could do within a one hundred mile radius of Doctor Tofu. In a fit of frustration he turn towards her with a scowl on his face, slapped her and yelled, shut up. Tofu’s entire world slowed down in that instant and his glasses became foggy with that all to familiar mist. Although this time he wasn’t a blubbering idiot. His eyes were clear and his face emotionless. He walked slowly across the room contorting the body of any one that came near him. His hands became nothing more then mere blurs to the untrained eye as he worked his motions and hidden talents in the depths of his martial arts.

There was defiantly something unique about his art. Not only was he causing his enemies much grief and dislocations, he was healing them in the same strokes. In what seemed to be one motion he moved his head slightly to the left to avoid a deathblow from a spear and raised his leg while grabbing the spear in one hand and lowering his leg quickly to snap the shin of the warrior in front of him. The Musk let go of his spear and started falling back, but before he hit the ground his spear was split in two and the bone reset with a crude splint holding the leg straight. The irony being here was that the move was called Tender Loving Care.

Another one tried running him through with a knife, but once again a slight dodge sent the warriors arm into Tofu’s robe and down his sleeve. Tofu wasted no time as he gave the Musk a quick spin and dislocated his shoulder while taking the sleeve off the robe and quickly taping his arm across his chest while putting the Musk’s shoulder back in place. A quick scream of pain came from the warrior as well as heavy breathing once he hit the ground. This move was called Turn Your Head and Cough.

The huge guys from before had finally caught up with him and were busy making quick work of Kuno and Mousse. They didn’t display any real talent in their fighting techniques, but if you can’t hurt them, and they display the kind of strength that can stop a semi in its tracks, then talent isn’t really needed. Mousse found it hard to fight single handedly, while only being able to use a single weapon at a time, but his explosives were becoming tempting at this point. Kuno on the other hand, didn’t seem to know how to get hurt and stay down. It was no secret that he had broken bones, but he seemed to be feeding off of an adrenalin rush. Not that it helped any. Tofu stepped in with one of his more forbidden moves. Miracle Cure.

One of the monstrosities leapt at the doctor, but with yet another quick sidestep, the beast man felt something wet touch his butt and then a sharp poke, which caused him to jump. When it looked back he saw the doctor holding an alcohol swab and a needle. Unknown to him were the contents of the needle. Within it once held amino acids, proteins, vitamins, glucose, sugars, a booster shot, and a sleeping drug. The beast man staggered around for a few seconds blinking its eyes and shaking his head to stay awake, but soon the large hammer in his hands dropped and with a thud he was down on the ground sawing logs in dreamland.

The others saw this and made their attack on the doctor, but it was too late to save them. Miracle Cure was used once again, as well as one other forbidden technique. Grandma’s Secret Medicine. It was a disgusting mixture of cold medicines, tea leaves, bustle sprout soup, and fast action suppositories that was force fed down the beast men’s throats. It didn’t matter how well train they were, when you gotta go and gotta go. There just isn’t an out house in the world close enough to find your relief as fast as you need it, so the only option left is to soil yourself in loneliness away from eye witnesses. With this said, the beast men were defeated and all that were left were some shocked priests and a Shaman.

“Lo! For victory is near!”

Nabiki sighed in her restraints. “I’d like to point out that Doctor Tofu has been doing all the work, Kuno baby.”

“Hmph! Then I shall make this victory mine!” Kuno immediately ran forward with his sword out screaming a battle cry. He was inches away from the Shaman with a downward slash, when in a calm and calculated motion, the Shaman brought his arm back smoothly and with the same grace brought it forward with a powerful blow placed right between the eyes and forehead. Kuno’s legs acted as some sort of gel as they wobbled and he fell back staring straight up with crossed eyes and a stupid look on his face.

Nabiki shook her head in disappointment. “My hero…”

The Shaman came in again with his a slap, but this time to Nabiki. “You will speak when spoken to!”

Shampoo took this moment to speak her mind as well. “No hit girls! It wrong unless trying to get married!”

He whirled around and planted one on her as well. “Same goes for you! You shall not speak in the sacrificial chambers unless you are a priest!”

Through the Shaman’s actions Mousse and Kuno seemed to become empowered. Kuno slowly got up with a scowl on his face. “Wretched enslaver of women… I’m not through yet!”

Mousse’s knuckles cracked as he pulled out a large bamboo staff. “Shampoo… How dare you do that to her…”

Kasumi started crying and as soon as her first tear his the floor, Tofu’s glasses broke on one side as his head started vibrating. “K-Kasumi-chan…!”

The Shaman pulled off his cloak to reveal a large brigade of rippling muscles. Tiger striped covered his torso and long orange hair stood on end all down his back. He waved a large arm to signal his priests to get out of harms way. “If I am all that is left to protect this temple and it’s ways, then I shall do what I must for our lord.” He turned to face a large painting of a panda on the wall. He raised his arms into the air and closed his eyes. “Great one… Give me your blessings… Give me the strength to fend off these heathens...” After a few moments of silence, he let out a breath slowly and breathed in deeply. There was a sudden roar from his mouth as he screamed and crouched down, he raised up quickly with his chest high in the air still letting out his giant roar. He turned back to them and it seemed all his muscles were flexed rock hard all over. He ran towards them with a fist double its original size and mowed over the good doctor. In the same movement he used his other arm to sweep across and knock Mousse back. Kuno came up behind with a sword in the air once again, but the Shaman turned to his side and extended a solid straight leg into Kuno’s jaw.

The Shaman did not show ignorance and laugh, nor did he claim victory. He kept himself in a defensive stance and waited. Slowly but surely the three got up off the ground. Tofu pushed himself up and put away his glasses. Kuno used his sword for support and spoke. “When thine blade leaves thy cold dead hands, is when I am truly defeated!” Mousse got up and held his bad shoulder in pain, but his eyes never came off of his target.

Tofu clenched his teeth and stared hard at the Shaman while thinking of only one thing. “K-Kasumi…” As if it the name itself were a signal, Kuno went first, followed by Mousse, and Tofu being the last to go with fists clenched. It was their turn to attack and they only had one chance.

Kuno saw the same calm strike coming his way and waited until the last second to move. The fist flew wild and Kuno was on the Shaman’s back. “100 strikes! Hya!”

The Shaman felt pins and needles take over his back as he went to his knees. He was going to sweep across with his arms again, but Mousse came up close to his front. “Kick of the white swan!” Mousse slid to fall back onto his shoulders and with one arm pushed up with every thing he had. Both his feet went under the Shaman’s chin and brought him from his knees to his toes with his back arched and chest up.

While stunned Tofu came in to perform the finishing blow and his most forbidden technique. “Body Cast!” Tofu came up from the side and swept a leg under the Shaman and planted him on his belly face down. Tofu lifted a fist but brought down a finger right into the Shaman’s spine. A loud scream was heard as all the joints in the Shaman’s body popped out of place leaving all his limbs limp. Tofu finished up the attack by quickly wrapping the Shaman’s body up in bandage and popping every thing back into place. The Shaman laid on his back with out saying a word as he tried to find his breath.

The three got up as best they could and made their way over to their girls.

“Nabiki Tendo. Doth thou fair well?”

“Thanks Kuno Baby. I never thought you’d be the one to help me out of any thing…”

“Such harsh words…”

“Shampoo are you ok?”

Wack!

“I no need your help!”

Mousse let his head bow down in defeat when he felt a nudge from Nabiki. “She’s smiling you know?”

Mousse looked up into Shampoo’s eyes to see her smiling with a few tears in her eyes. “Why you have to be so stupid Mousse…? You could be hurt very bad…”

Mousse wiped a tear from her eye and spoke softly. “I don’t mind… As long as you’re ok…”

“Oh, stupid Mousse…”

Nabiki got the two’s attention and pointed at Tofu and Kasumi. “I say we follow suit.”

Shampoo nodded and smiled. “Agreed.”

Both Mousse and Kuno look to their left dumbly as Tofu and Kasumi engaged in a serious lip lock. “Oh, doctor Tofu… I was so scared…”

“I’m here now Kasumi-chan…”

“Oh, doctor…”

Shampoo flicked Mousse in the head. “Hey, I over here.” Mousse looked back with the same stupid look on his face and let his eyes bulge out as she attacked him with a ground-breaking kiss. Nabiki gave Kuno a quick peck on the cheek, but it was more then enough for him to fall in love instantly.

Tofu and Kasumi spent an eternity and some in each other. Tofu leaned down slowly as Kasumi wrapped her arms loosely around his neck. “Oh, doctor…”

“Kasumi-chan…”

“Doctor…”

“Kasumi…”

“Doctor…”

“Kasumi…”

“Can you two speed it the hell up, I’m in a hurry here.”

Every one broke away and looked back at the entrance of the great hall. There stood the form known as Kyva. “God damn love birds, wasting every one’s time. Hell of a show by the way. I thought I was going to have to get involved again.”

Mousse pointed and put Shampoo behind him. “You! What are you doing here.”

“Gee, your welcome for helping you guys escape and all. No, no. Don’t get up and praise me all at once. You people are really selfish you know that? I told you guys, I’m here to fix things.”

Kyva walked forward and stopped at the Shaman. “How ya feeling buddy?”

“Leave me be… I’ve disgraced my temple and many have died… Just leave me here to die with them. I would have it no other way…”

Tofu’s eyes went wide. “Oh, no! I forgot all about them!”

Kyva grabbed the doctor and pushed him back towards Kasumi. “I told you I was on top of it. Don’t any of you listen?”

The Shaman coughed out a laugh and shook his head with much pain. “So you killed them all did you warrior?”

Kyva raised an eyebrow and leaned down. “No, why would I do that? I actually came here for a reason. Does this look familiar to you?” Kyva pulled the Phoenix crest out of his pocket and held it in front of the Shaman’s eyes.

“The… The Phoenix crest! How did you…! You! You saved them!?”

Kyva bowed his head a little, but kept his constant small smile. “The crest only has so much power in it. I saved most of them, but I still need it for one small thing. It will end up draining it’s power for about a year.”

The Shaman breathed out slowly and gave a nod. “I suppose I’m not in a position to argue…”

“Not really. But you may like it as well.”

The Shaman frowned a bit. “Unless you plan to revive our god, I can’t see it to be any thing short of being selfish.”

Kyva let his smile grow wide. “That my friend, is exactly what I had planned.”

The Shaman gasped and tried to lift himself. “Ergh! Ahh… Who are you? Why do you want to save our god?”

“Call it a hobby of mine, but I’ll need your help, and you’ll need to let these people go.”

“But we need them for-“

“Old beliefs bud. As long as I’m here we don’t need them.”

The six started walking off with their new freedom, but Kyva cut it short. “Hey! You’re not going anywhere yet! You’ll be taking their god with you.”

They all looked at him weird and stopped in their tracks. Mousse was the first one to ask. “Why?”