Darkness Within your Light

I’m so sorry! I know I promised everyone that I would have the next chapter out by New Years but…I forgot my laptop at home when I went on vacation late December!! And when I got home finally…well the new school semester was starting in about a week and I was scrambling to get my books and stuff ready that I completely forgotten my fanfictions for a while…I’m very, very sorry!

Thank you all who have reviewed and had had the patience to not hunt me down at gun point to get this next chapter out, sorry for the long wait. Since I want to get this chapter out as soon as possible now that I’ve finished it, I’m just going to thank you all at once this time instead of individually. Sorry.

Thank you all so much!- Sarian(thank you for defending me!), Mustang89, Draug, Nyves, Elle, Aurora Moon, Stitches, TempestWitch, Immortal Senshi, Fouloldorn(thanks for trying and not flameing me when u decided you didn't like this),Jennifer

I love all of you so much! Sniff...thanks again for waiting for me! XD

Finally! The Truth is out!!

---

Last Time on ‘Darkness within your Light’-


Raito took a deep breath, now how to explain that everything? How should he go about it? Raito had an idea brewing in his head, it was still very hazy and he hadn’t had the time to harsh it out but…

“Well…hmm…I guess it would be easiest to show you instead.”

“Oh?”

“Yes…so L…I want you to knock me unconscious.”

“…”

“…”

“E-excuse me!?”


----

Raito couldn’t help but feel a sense of bemusement at L’s uncharacteristic reaction to what even Raito knew had to be a very odd request given the circumstances…hell it was strange under any circumstances.

“I don’t believe I stuttered L. I asked you to hit me, preferably hard enough to knock me unconscious.”

L was looking at him as if he finally believed that Raito had lost his mind. Raito thought it was more then slightly amusing and a tad unsettling that L only thought he was crazy when he asked for L to purposely strike him…but not when he told him about a notebook that can kill a human being just by writing a single name in it and apple addicted deathgods.

‘You’d think that even with all this craziness that has been happening to both him and me lately that he would at least be more skeptical then he is right now…I mean what proof does he have that anything I’m saying right now is the truth? I mean it is but other then that weird dream he had how can be believe me so easily? The way he’s putting so much trust in me right now…it is more then a tad disturbing. I mean he says he loves me but…how can he say that so easily…oh to hell with it! Let’s just see how well he takes my TRUE form first before I try to judge his sanity level.’

“Look L, I’m not crazy nor am I trying to get out of telling you the entire truth. It’s just that I have a rational reason for asking you to do this…but it would sound too crazy if I just try to tell you…so I would rather try to show you what I mean instead. Trust me it would make explaining the rest of it much easier for the both of us.”

“But Raito-kun…how can you really ask me to do that now? You still have a slight concussion from the last time I hit you and that was accidental…I don’t want to hurt you anymore, especially if it’s on purpose. I’m…I’m just…”

L looked so confused and distressed with his indecision of whether he should do as Raito said, taking the risk of hurting him to find out the truth that he had sought for so long…or if he should follow his emotions and new conviction to let no harm come to Raito anymore…it was so unlike the L that Raito had use to know from his own time-line that Raito couldn’t help it. He laughed. Hard.

He couldn’t help it, L wasn’t acting like a world renowned detective…no instead he was acting like how any other human being would react in this situation…quickly Raito realized his mistake. L may be a genius detective who almost seemed to be inhuman with the way he dealt with cases and his lack sociality, but it was so easy to forget sometimes… L Lawliet was human.

He wasn’t dealing with the world renown detective L right now…no he was dealing with someone much more precious and mystifying…the human L Lawliet that had been buried inside of the socially and emotionally deprived detective.

Though he quickly stopped when he realized his mistake he gulped as he saw the flush of anger and humiliation grow on L’s face, he became so captivated by L’s usual pale skinned face turn a shade of red that could only be called rosy…so he wasn’t prepared for when L quickly stood up with a look of betrayal on his face.

It only took Raito about three seconds to realize what was about to happen, and while it was what he had wanted in the first place…he didn’t want it done in anger. Raito realized that he had better apologize quickly with an explanation, but it seemed that L was too embarrassed by Raito laughing in his face to listen.

“Wait L I didn’t m-”

“No Yagami, you want to be knocked out? Then so be it!!”

It happened so fast, Raito never saw the fist coming at all. One moment he was staring up at L’s red face and the next…oblivion.

---

Once more Raito found himself swimming in darkness, but unlike last time he was now aware of what was happening and where he was.

"Well this is it…there’s no going back now. Any minute now I’m going to awake in my shinigami body…and L will see me the new…no the real me."

"I just pray to any god out there that’s still living or existing right now…that L won’t freak out before I can explain myself first. Though the way he was pissed at me before hand…well I hope he doesn’t try to kick me…not that it would hurt me since I’m about 90 percent sure it would just faze through but he might seriously hurt himself if he’s not careful."

Raito sighed…or at least he sighed as much as any disembody person could in this black space. The only thing he could do in this place was to hope and pray as much as he was able…which wasn’t that much to begin with anyway. He had never been much of the praying type when he had been a normal human, mostly it had to do with him not believing that any disembodied entity that idiots and fanatics worshiped could ever grant any wishes or prayers he had…not that he had had any to begin with, when Raito wanted something he got it, he didn’t spend wasteful minutes of his life wishing for something. Raito may have change a lot since his rebirth from his original self…but there was just some things that would never-could never change within him.

His large ego and his superiority complex where some of the many traits that would never go away, but they were some of the many things that made Raito…Raito. He figured that anyone who didn’t like those things about him might as well not like him at all. So if L didn’t like that…well…

Just the thought of L not accepting him made Raito want to cry, he was betting it all in this one gamble, if it didn’t go as planned…

‘Geez Raito, aren’t you just a wretched little emo today.’

“Wha?!”

Raito felt a jolt of shock as a voice sounded around the darkness. It only took him a second to get over it though and realize who it was. As soon as the shock wore off he felt a sense of relief and annoyance flood him. Relief because for some reason whenever Zaki was around he couldn’t help but feel a sense of safety and companionship while talking to him. What annoyed him though was the way that Zaki sometimes spoke to him. How he never sugar coated his words and how outspoken he was whenever he found fault in Raito.

“Don’t you think I have a reason to be kind of depressed Zaki? You do know what’s at stake right? If L decides to…”

‘…to...what? Reject you? For the love of the King and Mother…geez, look Raito I can see that you need a talking to right now so I have only one thing to say to you right now and that’s…WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?! You are Yagami Raito! The Former Kira and A Deathnote user and one of the most intelligent human being that has ever existed on the face of the earth! You would have never let something like this effect you like this! You are a strong, unaffected, and I hate to say it but boarding on a sociopath human, who’s beliefs where all most unshakable. Take a good look at yourself right now Raito…do you like how weak you sound? I know that you have changed…and I know that it has mostly to do with L and all the experience and events and trials that you have undergone in your life and afterlife. But you forget Raito…you are now one with the prideful shinigami race. I know you may not think that’s much to take pride in, but before the shinigami’s had wasted away into a desert wasteland, they use to be demigods, only second to the gods themselves. They use to be worshiped and praised by humans eons ago…I’ve only existed for a few centuries now so what I’ve learned about the history of the race of the shinigami I’ve only heard from the King and the Little Mother when they created me because well…all the other shinigami and the other races had already died out by the time I was created…’

‘…anyway Raito please, take some time to think about how you are acting, and what you are feeling right now. I know you love L and want him to accept you so you can be with him but…you have to prepare yourself that you might not get the happy ending you want. If anyone deserves it you do but you know just as much as I do that reality doesn’t work that way…even if…even if things don’t work out, you know I’m here for you right? I’ll always be here with you Raito, from now on until the end of days. I hope for your sake that L Lawliet will be able to accept you…and for the sake of this world as well. You are prideful, smart and beautiful man Raito, it’s time you find yourself again and remember there are more things at stack right now then your love life.’

Raito never thought that he could be more shocked to silence then he was right now. Zaki’s impassionate speech cut through him like a bucket of ice water.

"He’s right…oh my god…what happened to me? I can’t help but feel both elation and disgust at my behavior. I’m acting like any other normal human being would feel and act…but goddamn it! I’m not a normal human being at all! I-I don’t want to change anymore but…I know that Zaki’s right, I can feel trouble brewing and my relationship with L must come second. If he can accept me-well that would be great! But if he can’t…I’ll have to accept that for now and hold on any of those seduction plans I had in mind if things turned sour when I revealed myself…"

Raito stomped down hard onto the sudden rush of dirty thoughts; he understood now what Zaki was trying to say, it was like all those teenage hormones that he had suppress when he was human had come back to him ten forth, and sadly he didn’t have the time to deal with it, nor the time to sort out the new feelings and emotions as well.

“…Zaki, thank you. I know that there are more important things at stake then my love life and I’m…sorry that I got sidetracked. I do know that you will be with me; you are like a piece of me, a part that L could never reach. I would be lost without you… I guess what I’m trying to say is that you’re like my better half and I ah-thank you.”

Raito was at a lost of words to express his gratitude and fondness to his Lifenote. But luckily for him it seemed Zaki understood.

‘Ah it’s so much fun to see you at a lost for words…heh especially if it’s because you can’t find the right way to say what your feeling. Don’t worry Raito, I understand just fine. I hope things work out, I truly do; and hopefully quickly. I can’t tell you exactly what’s going on but…something truly bad is going to happen Raito…be careful.’

Before Raito had the chance to think more on what Zaki was trying to warn him about he felt his mind go haze…this was it, there was no turning back now…he just hoped that he wouldn’t come to regret his decision…to be completely truthful and honest with someone else, no hiding himself anymore.

---

The first thing that Raito became aware of was heavy silence; he soon became aware that he was floating upside down in the air because he could feel his long shinigami hair was pulling upward away from his face instead of trying to cover it liked it usually tried to. His eyes where still closed, giving the illusion of still being in that protective darkness.

But no…even with the absent of sound Raito knew that he had separated from his human body, so he was now a thin, straight jacket wearing, grey winged shinigami once more and anyone who had ever touched his lifenote would now be able to see him as clear as day. He knew that it was a lot to accept or to even conceive but…what was L doing? Why wasn’t he saying something? Raito had to confess that he would rather have woken up to screams of terror then this…silence.

Raito slowly opened one of his eyes a creak and looked down where he knew that L should be…what he saw made him blink his eyes a few times rapidly before then widening almost too comically proportions as the situation finally caught up with his brain it also had the effect of making his jaw drop. A thing that he would later deny had ever happen.

It took a few seconds to process what he was seeing but he couldn’t help the small smile that overtook his face. Even with the warning growl that sounded below him.

For what Raito saw as he looked down was L crouched protectively over Raito’s unconscious human form, one arm was wrapped around Raito’s waist while the other one was raised as if to attack. A fierce expression covered L’s usual unreadable face as he faced what he thought was a threat.

It seemed that L hadn’t realized quite yet who he really was.

Raito made a note almost absentmindly that he was floating close to his bedroom ceiling, luckily it made him well out of the vicious L’s arm and leg reach. Even if he was sure that any attack would just faze through him, Raito would rather not chance it, with his luck L would found find out some unconceivable way to land a hit on him.

Raito didn’t really know how to deal with this, out of all the possible scenarios that Raito had come up with he had never thought of this one. Though it did make him feel pleased inside to see that L’s first priority had been to protect him, even as an unknown entity appeared in front of him, an entity that shouldn’t even exist according to L’s atheist ways despite Raito’s tales of shinigamis and gods and other worlds.

As Raito tried to think of a way to calm L down enough to listen to him explain himself he didn’t see L’s eyes watching and moving over him keenly and critically, nor did he see L switch his gaze back and forth between his knocked out human form and his shinigami one.

He also totally missed L’s eyes widen as he came to a sudden conclusion. Raito was so deep in thought that he didn’t see L stand up slightly from his defensive crouch and gently set his nonresponsive body on his bed and rearrange it to his satisfaction. After that he slowly started to move towards the still oblivious shinigami.

Raito only became aware of his surroundings when he felt his long hair start to gently be tugged. When he realized that he had become lost in thought for who knows how long he felt like blushing, luckily for him it seemed like his unnaturally pale skin didn’t redden that well so instead of his face turning a shade of red only found in blood, his face redden into a pale pink that unknowingly to him made him really cute looking.

It seemed L thought so at least if the small striking smile tugging at his lips was anything to go by…it captivated Raito so much that he didn’t realize that his wings had started to fold up automatically when he no longer felt a sense of apprehension of L’s reaction.

With a yelp he fell the six feet to the ground, luckily landing on his feet because of his shinigami reflexes that allowed his to turn right side up quickly enough so he didn’t land on his head instead. He would most likely have died on the principle alone if he had done that and with L standing there watching him with a sort of bemused smirk on his face…well let’s just say that even Raito would have wished for a heart attack to overtake him if that had happened. Luckily for him it wasn’t the case as he landed quite safely down on the ground.

He stood a few feet away from L; he noted in mild fascination that he stood at least a foot or two taller then L. He tried to keep his face inexpressive as much a possible. Raito had come to the conclusion while he had been floating before that he should let L make the first move…he just hoped that it wasn’t L’s martial art form of capoiera that would be speaking.

Raito watched as L’s snarky expression turn into a passive expression, but he wasn’t fooled. He saw the calculations in L’s eyes, he watched in fascination, because even when he had been Kira he had been captivated by L’s eyes, especially when he was calculating and thinking. They showed the most life when the brilliant mind behind them was working overtime.

After what seemed as if an eternity had passed while in reality it had only about five minutes did L finally made his move.

Raito watched as a look of uncertainty passed on L’s face before a look of determination quickly took its place. L seemed to brace himself a bit, and squared his shoulders determinedly. Raito was shocked to see L once again for the second time straighten fully from his hunched position and stand tall. At this height Raito now was only a foot taller then L.

“…Raito-kun?”

A feeling of something passed through Raito, he didn’t know what it was but the sense of giddiness made him feel a bit faint.

Maybe…just maybe…

“Yes L…it’s really me.”

---

The silence that overtook them after Raito’s affirmative only lasted about five seconds before it was broken.

“Well fuck...”

Raito couldn’t stop his smirk.

“Couldn’t have summed it better myself if I’d tried. So L…I imagine that you might have a few questions for me huh?”

This time it was L who smirked.

But Raito couldn’t but notice the way L shook ever so slightly, or the way his voice wavered or the way that the smirk on his face looked totally fake, as if he was trying to hard to stay calm.

It took Raito a second to come to a sad, conclusion…L was afraid…afraid of him.

‘…Oh Lawliet…’

Raito took a deep breath and harden his resolve. L might be afraid right now and truthfully he had every right to be afraid but…Raito had this one chance right now. A chance to show L that there was no reason to be afraid, at least not of him.

Raito turned and walked a few feet towards the wall opposite of L, he moved around a bit so he could comfortable lean his back fully against the wall, he was able to fully face L this way. He crossed his arms and waited for L to figure out what he was doing.

L, who had been standing beside the bed where Raito’s human body was lying, flinched ever so slightly at seeing Raito move. Raito wondered how he looked to L…was he ugly? He knew L was scared of him but he didn’t know if it was the situation that L was scared of or him personally.

L spent a minute or so just analyzing and watching him, like he was making sure that Raito wasn’t going to do anything else unexpected. L finally seemed to realize what Raito wanted him to do; Raito felt relief as he heard a chuckle of amusement come from L as he moved to the wall opposite of Raito; the only thing between them now was Raito’s bed.

It was a recreation of their time in the white room; where they had faced each other from across the room, only this time they weren’t locked in, nor was it unfurnished, and this time…there will be no lies or hidden truths spoken between them.

Raito decided to start off by picking up where he had left off before…by telling L all about their past life together…but first…

“L before I can explain what I am I have to finish my explanation from where I left off, you see…this is actually the second time I’ve lived on this earth…although the first time definitely didn’t go this way.”

L just raised his eyebrow in a ‘go on’ gesture.

“Well L it’s like this…”

So Raito started to talk, he talked about how he had lost his memories as planned when he had been imprison by L. How he had become passionate about catching Kira and bringing justice to what he thought was a murdering psychopath, he even told L about L’s fake execution when he had Raito’s father pretend to shoot him. Raito was amused that L interrupted him and apologized.

“There’s no real reason to apologize L, it’s not like you did it this time, and at least I didn’t spend 5 months in that cell this time so I guess it works out…though that white room you subjected me to was almost as bad, anyway remember this L whatever happened last time did just that, it happened in a different time-line. It now has no real effect in this world now. Whatever you did or I did at that time doesn’t matter anymore.”

Raito couldn’t help but feel a sense of embarrassment as he told L all about how L had handcuffed him last time, about how Raito had demanded separate beds, and even about how his more innocent self had tried to tame his L into eating healthy food.

Raito smiled as L laughed right out at that.

“I hope Raito-kun that you are smart enough this time to not try that again.”

“Oh I don’t know L…I got you eat asparagus.”

“Ewwww!! There’s no way you could have done that unless you fought me to the ground and held my nose closed so I would have been forced to open my mouth to breath…though I imagine that I would have most likely chosen to suffocate instead.”

Raito laughed at L’s scrunched up face as he imagined having to be forced to eat such healthy gross food.

“Well close…I bribed you with chocolate covered strawberries dipped in home made whipped cream…”

L raised an eyebrow as Raito trailed off.

“And..? I know you must have done something else for me as well, I may love chocolate strawberries but I don’t believe I would have eaten…that stuff even for them.”

Raito could feel a slight flush rise on his face as he thought of what he had to do to make L eat the green food.

“Well your right that the strawberries themselves weren’t enough of a bribe to make you eat the asparagus so…I proposed that I would hand feed you the strawberries…while wearing a gag so you couldn’t hear the degrading comments I made about you in retaliation.”

“…”

“Raito-kun, you have my permission to try to bribe me again.”

Raito flushed even more as L started to leer at him. Well at least L seemed more relaxed now so Raito could forgive that it was at him having to reveal something that had greatly humiliated him at the time…now though…

Raito blushed and coughed a bit as a string of dirty images and thoughts flew through his mind, with more inner strength then he thought he had he was able to halt them before L noticed.

“Shut up L. Anyway as I was saying…”

Raito quickly changed the subject to tell L all about the months chasing the third Kira Kyosuke Higuchi and the Yotsuba group that had killed for political and business reasons, and about the fight of morals and ethics that had made the investigation members spilt up into two groups for a while, he told L all about how they had tricked the third Kira into revealing himself and then he told L all about what happened to them in the helicopter and about finding the Deathnote and the Shinigami Rem…he told L all about how he regained his memories of being Kira and how after that it was like the human aspect in him had died.

Raito couldn’t help but falter a bit as he came close to that day…November 5th…the day that L had died, and the day that humanity had truly left Kira…had left Yagami Raito.

“It was about a month after I had killed the third Kira and regained ownership of the deathnote that you unveiled your plan to test out the deathnote, I have to admit L, I couldn’t tell if it was because of your pride was damaged or just your unwavering conviction and certainty that I was Kira that made you want to do such a reckless thing. Though it was all going according to my plan I couldn’t help but feel a sense of disappointment that you fell into it so easily. Misa was already killing criminals in my name by then and I remember how she always tried to complain to me about Ryuk…about how she was spending too much of her money on apples for him or something stupid like that…heh it took a lot of will power not to just kill her out right but since I didn’t have a death wish I managed to restrain myself...barely.”

“It was on November 5th that you decided to test out your plan. I remember that you had gone missing and that we couldn’t find where you had gone. After a while of looking for you in the usual places; kitchen, bedroom, some random room. I remember you liked to go into empty rooms and crouch in the middle of them in thought…but after about 3 hours of searching with the team and dealing with their complaints I volunteered to try to track you down by myself…I remember feeling very smug about your impending death, I remember thinking that you must have been hiding, that you felt that your end must have been near...I-I found you on the roof, it was raining really hard out.”

“You-you just stood there…while the wind howled and tore at your clothes you just stood there in the heavy rain and just stared out into the sky. I called to you, and I know you must have heard me but you had decided to be cute and pretend that you couldn’t hear me over the thunder, so I went out into the pouring rain myself. You…you started to talk to me, you said stuff that I didn’t understand and to be truthful I only understand a bit of it now but you apologized to me…and asked me if there was a time in my life that I never lied…I remember feeling a sense of rage at you at that moment, then you asked me something that I still don’t understand…you asked me if I could hear the bells…do you know what you might have meant by that L?”

Raito looked over at L who had been silent, he saw that L had his head down and was seemly studying his toes…but Raito saw the contemplating expression on his face and decided to stay silent until L either answered or just told him to continue.

Finally after about 5 minutes of silence L looked up with a grim face.

“I believe Raito-kun that you are correct in thinking that I did believe that my impending death was looming over me. It is my belief that the reason I asked about bells might have something to do about my childhood…you see when Watari had found me at a rundown orphanage the first place he took me to was a church, I had never been to such a place before, the thing I remember most from that time was hearing a very loud clanging noise, I later found out that they where the church bells ringing evening mass.”

“It struck me that the bells where a sign of change for me, I had never told anyone about how I feel whenever I hear church bells…but when you said that you found me out in the pouring, freezing rain talking about those bells I must had felt a sense of some type of urgency…I must have wanted someone to know the significance of what those bells were to me. Heh, I bet I even made some comment about how they were for a some wedding or for a funeral.”

Raito nodded solemnly.

“So Raito-kun…what happened after that?”

Raito swallowed harshly as he got closer…

“I managed to convince you to come back into the building; we where standing on the stairs toweling off…I sat down to finish drying my hair and you…you grabbed my foot and started to dry it off…”

Raito trailed off as he saw the expression on L’s face, it was a mixture of weary amusement and misery. L waved his hand in a weary gesture for Raito to continue.

“…when I asked you what you thought you where doing you just said it was something you wanted to do for me…I remember water dripping from your hair. So without really realizing what I was doing I reached forward and started to dry your hair for you…I remember feeling a sense of smug victory over your supposed submission…you told me you wished that things could have been different. But that it didn’t matter…everything would be decided soon…I now know that you knew that one of us was going to die that day.”

“Now that I think about it…it was almost like you wished that it was you to die instead of me…but that’s silly I know, you where L, catching Kira was all that mattered to you then.”

Raito missed the indescribable expression cross L’s face as he continued.

“Anyway you got a phone call from Watari and we decided to go back into the investigation room…you told everyone that a convicted felon who had been scheduled for the death sentence had already written in the deathnote about 29 days ago before and that in a few minutes we would have the proof that those false rules I had Ryuk put in were authentic or not.”

“It went all according to my plans…Rem killed Watari and you before dying herself…heh its funny isn’t it? That the only thing that can kill a god of death is a sense of love. When Rem killed you to save Misa…it was done with the intention to save her. I remember it all…the red warning lights as all the data on the Kira case got erased by Watari before his death, you falling out of your chair…I-I remember springing out of my chair to catch you. For some reason just the thought of you falling onto the floor in your final minutes didn’t seem right. While you laid dying in my arms…I smirked at you. I gave you the evidence and peace of mind that you were right all along about me.”

“I started to scream as you closed your eyes, and what I didn’t realize until later was that it was a real scream. All my frustration that you had caused me I vented in that scream. Father and Matsuda had to pull me off of your…your corpse. Things after that just fell into place. Everyone was assured of my innocence and I took the name L for myself.”

“We buried your body in an unmarked grave…with only a blank cross as a tomb marker…I only visited it once after you died…let’s just say that it wasn’t my best moment. Years past after that, I had a firm position as L and as Kira. I had almost 67% of the world already proclaiming Kira as a god. I even had shrines and religion sects in my name. The United States was the first country to fall under my control.”

“It was about 5 years after your death that they came into the picture…Near and Mello.”

Raito couldn’t help but sneer as he said their names.

“Or should I say…Nate Rivers and Mihael Keehl…oh and we can’t forget dear Matt can we? Or should I say Mail Jeevas.”

Raito watched as L gave him a look of surprise at hearing his heir’s real names.

“Yes L I know those hellspawn you call heirs names. What I want to know is where the hell did those brats come from? They made my life a living hell! I sometimes wished you where alive just so you could have control them!”

Raito tried to lighten the mood some; he saw the concern shinning in L’s eyes for his protégée.

“You should feel somewhat proud of them I guess…Mello and his little shadow Matt became major players in the Mafia, I believe that after your death Mello went a little mad. Heh, but even I have to admit he was somewhat brilliant, he managed to move my hand prematurely. He even got a hold of a Deathnote. He also…shot and killed my father and kidnapped and perpetually traumatized my sister.”

Raito noticed the guilt in L’s eyes as he told him that Mello had killed Yagami Soichiro and harmed his sister. Raito waved it away though; it wasn’t L’s fault that Mello had gone mad and did those terrible things, if you think about it Mello’s crimes were a lot less worse then Raito’s own where, Raito had destroyed a lot more lives then Mello ever did, and not just the people he had killed but also the lives of the families, he had effectively destroyed those as well.

“Near managed to create his own little group of FBI agents, I managed to killed a few of them but since I didn’t know who most of them where I couldn’t wipe them out myself. I managed to kill Mello with the help of Mikami…oh that’s right; I haven’t told you about him have I? Well Mikami was a Kira fanatic; he also became Kira temporarily because I couldn’t use the deathnote with the way Near was breathing down my neck. Not to mention that the rest of the investigation team had started to get suspicious once again by Near’s subtle and not so subtle hints about me. I remember thinking that he resembled you a bit…and I hated him for that fiercely, he was a poor substitute for the L I had fought with…it didn’t seem fair at the time that I had to go against someone who I didn’t think amounted much to the L name. I remember thinking at the time that only one person could have been the true L and battled with me on equal footing…and I had killed him years ago.”

“The day finally came…Near wanted to meet me and the team in an abandon warehouse. I believed that I had won…Mikami was suppose to hide nearby and since he had the shinigami eyes he would have been able to see Near’s real name and write it down in the deathnote I had given him…all of it would have gone perfectly if only Mikami would have followed my orders…but alas he didn’t. He used the deathnote earlier and one of Near’s little lackey men saw him, so Near switched the real notebook with a fake.”

“Near had evidence that I was Kira…and I snapped after that I guess. I knew I was caught but…I started to laugh. I admitted to everyone there that I was Kira. Heh, you should have seen Matsuda’s expression. I had almost convinced him earlier that Kira was really on the side of good, and that we had to be delusional and foolish to try to stop him…but the expression on his face when I confessed was full of fear and disbelief. I had thought I had convinced him in believing in me so I wasn’t to worried about him…I had this piece of deathnote hidden in my watch, it was the same one I had used to killing Higuchi when I had to regain ownership of the deathnote years before, it still had his name on it with my blacken dried up blood.”

“Anyway I tried to use that to write Near’s real name on the piece of notebook but…Matsuda flipped out and shot at me. He shot my wrist so I would drop the piece of deathnote then because he got trigger happy in his hysterics he shot me in the shoulder and then at my chest…I was on the ground in a puddle of my own blood…screaming at him…I realize now he shot me out of a sense of self-preservation and fear. Which reminds me L…you are going to have to reinstate Matsuda.”

“But Raito-kun…”

“No L no argument, I know it was an incident and so do you. He may deserved a bit of that beating that you gave him, but don’t kick him off just yet, he may be an idiot but he’s a well meaning idiot. Just…make sure he’s not near any weapons or anything like that. But him having to doing stuff for the rest of the team as punishment would be a fine, you know my father and Watari will work him hard as retribution.”

“…fine…”

“Thank you…anyway I didn’t die from the gunshot wounds. But I was bleeding heavily and I had only written half of Nate Rivers name on the piece of paper. I cut my losses and tried to run for it…I somehow managed to escape the warehouse and I ran…and ran. I made it to some stairs in an abandon alleyway and I just collapsed. Ryuk…Ryuk had written my name in the Deathnote when he saw that I had lost. He told me in the beginning when we first meet that he would be the one to kill me when I stopped being entertaining, I remember not really believing him and thinking that I would never be caught...so I never really gave it that much thought until I laid there dying. I remember the pain of dying…heh; it’s kind of ironic that Kira who had killed countless others with heart attacks died of a heart attack himself, it was kind of like poetic justice huh? ”

“I remember fading away and…seeing you standing in front of me, you where transparent though. I was most likely just hallucinating you in my final moments…but it comforted me as I died.”

“I went to Mu after that. It is this place of complete nothingness that the souls of those who used the deathnote are sentenced too. My soul was torn up into pieces and scattered across the abyss.”

Raito trailed off a bit as he remembered his death. How the gunshot wounds that Matsuda had inflicted on him had burn and bleed. How the despair of his defeat at the hands of a child had gripped his heart and trampled his pride. The blackness had eaten his vision up until all that was left had been pain and darkness. By that time he had welcome death as it swiftly swept him away into its mysterious embrace.

“A lot of things happened on earth after my death, at least according to the Shinigami King, You see L, apparently only a few years after I died a large section of my followers went mad and believed that the total eradication of the human race would make me come back. I didn’t-it wasn’t what I wanted to happen. The King of the Shinigami was able to pierce my soul back up again but it was almost a millennium after the annihilation of earth and all of the gods who govern it…only two others had lived through the trouble I caused. If you want to call what happened to them living…”

“If you had been wondering about my appearance which I know you have been...I bet you already have it figured out by now but…I am a shinigami now L or at least a half breed. The King and the other god who survived recreated my body and help me purge almost all the deathnote’s influence that had affected my soul. When my soul had been put back together and I was able to escape Mu I had awoken in a wasteland with a man in front of me. At first I thought it was you who had come to haunt me but…well I don’t know whether to say that the Shinigami King resembles you or you resemble him. There was enough diversity between you too though that I was able to tell the difference almost immediately. He explained everything to me…how it was basically my fault that the world ended. I also was able to see my new body for the first time, heh real looker aren’t I?”

“It seems that these crimson eyes of mine are a very common occurrence within the shinigami race, the red tint in a shinigami’s eyes enables them to see humans names and life-forces, which the shinigami’s use to extend their own lives.”

Raito didn’t hear L softly mumble a name “…Beyond…” so he continued without a pause.

“Anyway after a very interesting conversation with him we meet up with the other god, or should I say goddess who was the only other living being around. You should know her L…I mean you meet her in your dream…she’s the Little Mother…one of the great creators of life and our own personal creator. Both you and I and most likely your brats were created by her personally. She was…gods L. She was like a child yet she could make you feel like the child. She’s the one who gave me the lifenote and that’s what makes me not quite a true pure shinigami. Shinigami are gods of death, but I’m not. My lifenote gives life; it uses my life-force which is virtually endless to add years to another life form. I’ve already used it on my family and Watari and…you.”

Before L could interrupt him as he saw he was about to do Raito quickly continued; It would do no good if L interrupted him now. Raito didn’t know if he would have the resolve to finish.

“I want to put an end to this L…I truly want the deathnotes either destroyed or taken off of this world. I now know that no human should be aloud to have such power. It creates such chaos and death…I was a foolish child who had an imperfect dream of a world that would never be. If anyone was justice it was you L, not me; and definitely not whoever is going to be the new Kira. We have to find the other deathnotes L and destroy them. Quickly before someone else gains a hold of them, ands since we have somewhat of a lead this time, several months in fact. Most likely Rem hasn’t given up the deathnote I instructed her to give to the third Kira yet. Even if she does give away before we can gain a hold of it, I know who will be the third Kira…at least I hope I do. So much is changing from the original time-line…I can’t help but feel at a lost.”

“Anyway to continue my story the Shinigami King and the Little Mother gave up the rest of their life-forces to allow me to travel back into the past. To try to change things, I can not-will not allow the world to end as it did. I maybe half-shinigami, but I am human too…I am a part of this world just as much as the next human.”

Raito felt very tired and worn down by his long winded speech and explanation, but he couldn’t help but feel a sense of peace descend onto him as he became quite and waited for whatever kind of judgment L saw fit to bring to him. Personally the best case scenario Raito could think of was L calling him crazy but giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Raito looked over at L who was standing there with a contemplating expression on his face; Raito let him think over what he had heard and gave him a few minutes.

Raito looked away from L’s intense figure and saw a mirror a few feet away from him facing away. It was to compelling not to get another peek at his new form. He moved over and started to look over his form critically. colorless bony skin covered his body along with his burning crimson eyes and blood red lips…his hair was now more reddish then his human body’s and twice as long. He lifted the claws that seemed to substitute for hands and examined the sharp talon like fingers. He let them fall and then examined his outfit. God even his outfit described his state of mind. A tattered straight-jacket along with ragged white pants, stained and ripped, like…what happens to what was once an innocent soul when it became soiled and torn into something unimaginable…something…

“…monstrous…” Raito whispered.

---

“I don’t think so Raito-kun.”

“Wahhhh!”

Raito jumped as a voice spoke behind him right into his neck. He quickly turned around and glared at a smirking L.

“Don’t do that!”

“You’re so jumpy Raito-kun, is something the matter?”

“Yes something is, YOU!”

“Ouch Raito-kun you wound me…but putting that aside, why do you think that?”

Raito gave L a puzzled look.

“What do you mean? Think what?”

L gave Raito a look of fond aspiration and shook his head.

“I meant to what you where just thinking right now…why do you think your form is monstrous?”

Raito tensed up as his previous dark thoughts caught up with him again. He sent L an unimpressed cold look.

“Because I am L, I don’t believe you need glasses, but if you can’t see what I look like you might want to get Watari to buy you some or something. If you can see me the way I do…you would understand.”

L shook his head and moved forward, close enough that his chest bumped into Raito’s back. Raito froze as L moved his head to look over his shoulder to peer into the mirror along with him; his breath sent pleasant tingles along Raito’s cheek.

Raito tried to contain his shiver but he had a feeling that L felt it because the smirk on his face widen into a leer.

“Shut up L…” Raito mumbled.

“Hmm ok Raito-kun I’m looking into the mirror just like you and I don’t see anything monstrous or anything like that…what I do see though is a soul that has been stretched almost to its limit. A fallen beauty that has descended from the abyss and who had blessed me by loving me…what I see is Yagami Raito…the man I love who just happens to also be a immortal demigod.”

Raito felt his eyes water but he refused to cry in front of L.

“Since when have you been so poetic?”

Raito watched as a smile widen L’s face.

“Since I got bored reading history books and political memorials and decided to broaden my studies as a child.”

Raito chuckled as he imagined a child like L reading poetry books.

“Yea laugh it up Raito-kun, I happen to know that saying poetic and sappy words to the one you love makes them get all mushy and lustful.”

Raito raised his eyebrows at that and at how L wound his arms around his waist into a loose embrace. Raito knew that if he was in his human form he wouldn’t have been able to support L’s full weight that was pushing on him right now. But since he wasn’t human at the moment, L could drape him in his full weight and Raito wouldn’t even feel it.

“Oh? And how did you come to this idea? Do you have any other lovers I should know about?”

“No no no Raito-kun…I got it from watching the American program Lifetime.”

“…o…k…”

“Raito-kun I have thought about all that you have told me and while I do need some more time to fully analyze all that you have told me I want you to know my feelings haven’t changed. In fact I can tell you with full confidence that my love for you has grown. I’m glad that you no longer inspire to rule the world.”

“…thank you L…”

Raito mumbled as his face flushed a bit at L’s words.

‘He really knows how to sweet talk someone despite him being such a recluse like person.’

“Anytime Raito-kun.”

For a time they just stood there with L’s arms around Raito’s waist and Raito’s hands overlapping L’s.

Finally after a half an hour of just holding each other and thinking about all the things that had happened in such a short time Raito made a move to speak.

“L there’s something else I’ve got to tell you…”

L’s head went up from its resting spot on Raito’s shoulder. He looked curiously at Raito’s face and quirked his mouth a bit at how close their mouths where to each other.

“Yes Raito-kun?”

“It’s about the lifenote…you know that I’m an immortal right? And that means that I won’t die for a long, long time and that I will outlive everyone I know…well the Little Mother decided to help with that…so there’s something that I need you to consider…”

“Yes what is it Raito-kun?”

“…L would you sta-”


!!!RING!!!


They both jumped in surprise.

“What was that?!” Raito cried out.

L let go of his hold on Raito and started to dig around in his oversized pants pockets.

“Don’t worry Raito-kun, it was just my phone.”

Raito shot L a look of disbelief.

“Why would your phone be on? I thought we were hiding?!”

“Yes Raito-kun, but this isn’t my normal phone that Watari usually uses to contact me by, no this is my emergency phone. It is only to be used in a very important situation.”

“Well answer it then I guess.”

“That’s what I was doing if Raito-kun would be so kind as to shut up.”

Raito huffed a bit as L told him to shut up, but nether the less he made sure not to make any noise. Not because there might be a chance that whoever was on the other side of the phone would be able to hear him. No only someone who had touched the lifenote would be able to do that. But he didn’t want to distract L, because if this was a serious emergency he didn’t want to interrupt.

Raito only caught what L said on the phone, he didn’t get a lot because all L seemed to be doing was listening to the other person speak and agree.

“…yes…yes…I understand…yes…ok…you know what to do…yes we’ll be there soon…uh huh…ok bye.”

Raito watched as L hung up the phone and fall into a contemplating state. The room descended into uncomfortable silence. The warm atmosphere that use to be there was totally gone. Finally Raito couldn’t take it anymore.

“For the love of- L you think you can tell me what’s happening? I’m kind of in the dark here and I’m not liking it one bit.”

L turned to look at Raito as if just remembering that he was there.

“It seems Raito-kun that we have a bit of a problem…I know that you said that we would have a few months before a third Kira arose but it seems that the time-line that you came from is a lot more different then even you thought…because Kira has just stuck, he has just killed every criminal convict in the United States prisons. All of them, that’s well over 50 million dead in one night. No survivors. He also was somehow able to send a message via web cam to the headquarters directly. I’m not sure if the headquarters are safe anymore. We will immediately be moving into a random hotel for now until we can secure a better place. Your father and the others have been advised to go home and stay low for now. No one has watched the tape yet but Watari will have it ready for us as soon as we get to the hotel…so if Raito-kun would please get back into his body we will be going.”

Raito was stunned, so much so all he could do was stand there in silence as what L just said filtered into his brain.

‘No…no way…’

“Raito-kun? Raito-kun…Raito!”

“Huh? Oh right…”

Raito quickly shook off his paralysis and moved over to his body on the bed. He closed his eyes and willed his spirit to go back into his human body.

When he opened them again he was relieved that the ceiling was the first thing he saw. Even though he was pretty sure he knew what to do, he had only ever done this once before.

Raito got up slowly as he quickly got use to being in his corporal body again.

“Ok L let’s go…”

“Yes Raito-kun…um Raito-kun? What was it that you wanted to ask of me?”

Raito hesitated; he wanted so much to ask L to become immortal with him but…now was not the time…there were a lot more important things happening as Zaki had finally made him see for himself. So with great despondency he decided to put it off for a bit longer.

“Nothing important L, we can talk about it some other time.”

“If you are sure Raito-kun…”

Raito nodded his head firmly.

“Yes I’m sure L.”

Right before they left his room one thought crept into Raito’s mind as he turned off his light and closed his door.

‘…was this what Zaki was trying to warn me about…?’

---
Oh hell yea!! Finally! The Kira has arrived! My story will finally hopefully get on track now. Heh all the chapters so far have been mainly filler chapters…my plot will now unfold!! MUHAHAHA…sigh…

Anyway you are all going to hate me but…if any of you are dying to know what happens next you will have to wait till chapter 20. Because the next chapter will be the special chapter, we will be going back to when Matsuda shot Raito, in the POV’s of…Three people!!

(Everyone falls to the ground as I totally lamely build up the suspense then deny all of you the names of those three people.)

Hehe I’m evil. I already know who it’s going to be so you can guess but it won’t change my mind if you ask me for someone I won’t be doing…anyway sorry about the very late update but hey it’s a big one!

PLEASE REVIEW! THEY REALLY DO HELP!!