An Angel's Pain

CHAPTER TWO: MISCALCULATION


Yuki sat on the sofa where his lover sleeps at night when he heard the bell.
Immediately he dropped the glass of wine he had on his hand with his heart hammering inside his chest. Could it be? Yuki tried to deny it but Shuichi’s odd reactions and unsaid leave sure was affecting him fucking much. He didn’t want the feeling but he sure can’t ignore it.
The bell rang again. Yuki’s heart leapt. Then the bell rang unceasingly and stubbornly as if the person outside the door was performing some kind of stupid prank.
It was enough.
Only Shuichi had the knack of doing something dumb.
Clearing his throat, Yuki silently hurried towards the door simultaneously fixing his face. “Think I’m a deaf, brat?” Yuki had asked the moment he opened the door. Shit! Why did those words come out of his mouth?
“Na no da!”
‘What?’
It was then when Yuki finally turned his gaze tos ths the unwanted visitor that he realized it wasn’t his lover. Damn! How could he forget that there was an equally stupid person in this world in the being of Sakuma Ryuichi?
“What the hell are you doing here?” Yuki vulgarly asked.
“Kumagoro wants to see Shuichi.” Ryuichi answered with a dwarfish voice as he bounced on the hallway’s wall outside Yuki’s door. “We just arrived from a loooong vacation and now we want to see Shu-chan!”
“The brat’s not here.” Yuki answered wearily, his temple now throbbing. “He’s in Okinawa beach for a concert of some kind.”
“Concert! Concert! Coooooncert!”
Yuki groaned and was just about to slam the door close when an unfamiliar voice asked him. “Aren’t you going to Okinawa?”
Yuki blinked and it was then that he realized it was still Ryuichi talking to him. Only this Sakuma was a different one. A seriously matured individual…
“No.” Yuki had blurted, transfixed by the worldly singer’s sudden change.
“Hmm… Well, Na no da!” Chirped by a now once again carefree idiotic Ryuichi. “Okinawa! Okinawa! Okinawa!” The singer yelled as he bounced away from Yuki’s apartment.
Yuki stood there motionless, the face of a serious Ryuichi still sketched on his mind. There was something in the singer’s gleaming eyes. Yuki c sol solve the puzzle though. Why the sudden change?
Anyway, he didn’t like it.

Yuki returned to Shuichi’s sofa where he slumped like a lazy cat albeit a troubled cat at that. Shuichi acted differently… Shuichi might be mad… Shuichi was hurt… And Shuichi would be gone for almost a week. Wasn’t that what Yuki had wanted in the first place? But the room seemed lifeless now. Too silent it could kill. Was this the house he lived in for so many years before that pink haired angelic faced brat came? Was this the kind of house Yuki wanted? He couldn’t deny it. Shuichi did change a lot of aspects in Yuki’s life. But was the writer prepared for this?

‘Don’t you even care for me?’
‘It… it would mean…’
‘It would mean damn so much so please come.’

Recalling all the words his lover had said, Yuki reached for his phone. He dialed the successive number of his pink haired angel’s phone, heard the operator’s tone… then quickly turned it off. Damn! Yuki wasn’t a talker. What the hell is he supposed to say to that brat? Besides, there was bound to have a lot of eavesdropper around the singer and Yuki would sure do well without them and their formulating of issues. Anyway he has a novel to finish. He can’t waste his time watching a damn concert and roaming around the beach with the younger boy… even if it was never boring to be with Shuichi… Ack! No! He must finish his novel. He gave his readers his word and he didn’t give Shuichi any.
Hver ver gave any.

‘It would mean damn so much so please come.’

Damn!
Groaning and releasing a sigh of defeat, Yuki got on his feet and plodded towards his room. He’d finally come up with a decision which is to dump his clothes in a bag and buy a ticket to Okinawa. So many things to do…

He can’t continue his fucking novel. How the hell was he supposed to anyway if the absence of the younger boy was turning his world upside down?

***

It was around four in the afternoon when Shuichi heard the knock. Shit! Didn’t he place a sign on the door never to disturb the occupant in which he specifically identified as Shindou Shuichi? Was the visitor blind? Shuichi let out a heavy sigh to release the unpleasant feeling that kept disturbing him. It wasn’t helping him, really. He kept thinking of the writer and how Yuki tended to ignore him for almost all the time Shuichi had needed him. Yuki never even allowed him to sleep in his bed… well, except of course when they’re making love. Sex. Was that the only thing Yuki wanted from him?
Knock. Knock.
KnockKnockKnockKnockKnockKnockKnock!
Shuichi let out a groan before making his way towards the door. Thinking about Yuki wasn’t doing him any good. He’s just upsetting himself and…
“Shuiiiichi!” Sakuma’s voice boomed the moment he opened the door.
“R—Ryui—k” Shit! Shuichi cursed. He hadn’t realized hisce wce was still dry from crying. And his face! Was his face still streaked with tears?
Sakuma seemed to have answered everything. Instantaneously, the green haired singer’s eyes grew saucer-sized and watery they threatened to flood the room. “Shu-chan upset? Aren’t you happy to see Kumagoro (sniiiiff)?”
“Y—yeah.” Shuichi forced an awkward smile. “Shuichi’s glad.” Damn. Sakuma came to see him and he’s crying himself to death? He couldn’t do this to Sakuma after all the latter’s trouble of coming to visit him. Shaking his head, Shuichi transformed into his chibi look with big round violet puppy eyes. “Daijobu, Ryuichi.” Shuichi beamed. “I wasn’t upset because of you.”
“Na no da!” Ryuichi shrieked joyfully. “C’mon Shuichi, let’s have some fun!” Sakuma hastily grabbed the younger boy’s hand then together they bounced on the hallway of the hotel towards the only place Ryuichi knew could make the pink haired boy alive.

“Yay! A karaoke!”
“Let’s sing, Shuichi!”
Hours passed and it was only then when they were finally exhausted that they decided to walk home. Shuichi was slightly drunk so he needed to cling on Sakuma for support. “Ne, ne…” Shuichi muttered unintelligently. “How did you know I was here, Ryu-chan?”
“I always know where you are.”
“Huh? What’sh that again?”
“Maa…” Ryuichi smiled, his eyes beaming with sincerity and maturity. “I dropped by and asked Yuki-kun.”
“Y—Yuki…” Shuichi had suddenly blurted painfully. Damn. Everything has now come back to him, remembering the harsh words his lover had said. He just couldn’t help teartears threatened to pour. He was in his reality again. The life he’d wanted except that his lover always ignored him.
“Did you have a fight with Yuki?” Shuichi heard Sakuma asked. “Don’t cry.”
“I’m not crying.” Shuichi pouted.
“But you’re upset.”
“I-I’m not.”
“I’m worried about you. Kumagoro wouldn’t want an unhappy Shuichi.” Sakuma stated with an encouraging smile.
Suddenly Shuichi felt uneasy. Sakuma never used to ask so many questions especially those regarding his relationship with Yuki. Why now? Why now when he doesn’t want to talk about it? “Sakuma! Just… just leave me alone!” Shuichi wriggled free from Ryuichi’s hold and was about to run when Sakuma had suddenly grabbed his arm. Shuichi however had tried to escape unintelligently he’d tripped Sakuma’s legs that they had lost their balance within a blink of an eye.
Thud.
Shuichi felt the hard ground hit his back or rather, his back on the ground. Something heavy yet soft landed on his stomach and… Shuichi’s heart leapt. He couldn’t believe it. Shit! Shuichi opened his eyes to find himself kissing Ryuichi. Oh My God. OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod! No! This couldn’t be happening. This is a dream right? Finally, Ryuichi opened his eyes. Shuichi’s heart acted like a rampaging tiger. It weren’t the eyes Shuichi often saw from the older boy… Right now, there was something more mature and more sincere in Ryuichi’s eyes. The strange thing was that Sakuma stared at Shuichi before breaking the kiss.
Shuichi gasped for air the moment their lips had parted.
“Shu-chan, Gomen nasai! Honto ni gomen nasai!” Ryuichi whined like a kid he was suddenly chibi again. “Waahhhhh. I’ve been bad. Kumagoro’s mad at me! Please don’t be mad Shuichi… (sniff).”
Still perplexed of the things that happened to him, Shuichi tried to calm his heart. “It—it’s okay Ryuichi. It was an accident. There’s no one to be blamed.” Shuichi forced a smile. “I acted stupidly—sorry. Nyahaha.”

***

The very moment Yuki arrived in Okinawa, he stormed the room Bad Luck had occupied for their rehearsal. “Where’s Shuichi?” Hiro immediately told him that Shuichi wasn’t feeling well. Yuki got the hotel room Shindou had rented but when Yuki arrived there, he didn’t find his lover. He waited for hours and hours until he finally decided to sit near the window and what did he find? He saw his lover lying on the beach with Sakuma Ryuichi kissing him. The brat! Yuki didn’t know what to feel. He was hurt. He was fucking hurt! He kept thinking if he’d hurt his lover but then…
Yuki walked towards the bed Shuichi occupied just some hours ago, felt tears dripping down the side of his face and cried.

Why Shuichi?


Shuichi opened the door to his room and saw the very person he wanted to see. Yuki. Yuki came to see him. Yuki came after all. He cared.
“Y—Yuki!” Shindou almost shrieked with joy. He was on the verge of bouncing around the room when he heard the harsh words from his lover like an echoing thunder.
“You damnable slut!”
“Y—Yuki…?”
“Are you really taking me for a fool?” Yuki stormed. “You wanted me to come with you and what do I get? You kissing that fucking Sakuma Ryuichi! I should’ve known you were a flirt like all of those girls who’d approached me!”
“Y—Yuki!” Shuichi cried, tears pouring from his eyes. Suddenly his voice had cracked, his tongue haied ied and his mouth ached. “It was just an accident. R—really!”
“Just a fucking accident! What would you feel if you see me kissing Seguchi Tohma and I tell you it was an accident!? You annoying brat. I shouldn’t have stayed with an idiot loudmouth like you for so long!”
“Bullshit!” Shuichi shouted, tears blinding his eyes. “For once listen to me! It was a damn accident and I wasn’t flirting! We…” Shuichi’s voice broke; he bit his lower lip to stop it from trembling until it was bleeding. “We just went… went to karaoke because I was upset… upset about you!”
“Yeah.” Yuki groaned to hide the cracking of his voice. He swallowed the lump of his throat and stared hardly at the younger boy. “You were upset so you snogged Sakuma in the karaoke. Damn you!”
Yuki made his way towards the door but just when he could pass Shuichi, the latter grabbed the older boy’s arm and dug his trembling fingers on it. “Yuki…” Shuichi cried, his voice cracking and almost inaudible. “I love you. Is—isn't that easy to understand?” He stared at his lover squarely, tears clouding his vision he could only see the older boy’s cold eyes.
Yuki didn’t answer him; the writer just snapped his arm away from the pink haired boy’s trembling hands. “Good bye.”
Shuichi had suddenly swung his arm on the air and buried his fist on Yuki’s left face. Yuki stumbled back from the force and from the event his mind couldn’t fathom.
“FUCK YOU!” Shuichi cried so loud it almost tore his throat. “FuckyouFuckyouFuckYou!” He yelled, tears still gushing down his face. “Yuki you bastard! I’m the one who should’ve left you long ago! I kept thinking you would finally return you love but look at you! Damn you!” Shuichi cried. “You—You… I’m so tired of this!”
Shuichi ran out of the room crying and almost stumbling for his whole body shook.