Abstinence Education

Here's that promised second part of the rewritten intro to Abstinence Education. I'm not planning to rewrite any more chapters at the beginning (some later ones are another matter!) so now maybe I can move my butt on over to continuing the story. :P

All comments and crits are welcome and encouraged! Email me (mmemanga@aol.com) or comment on the post. In a little while, I'm going to incorporate these two revised chapters into the PDF version of the story, so there will be a new edition of its first volume, which I'll announce when it's uploaded.

The characters and universe of Blade of the Immortal/Mugen no Junin are copyright by Hiroaki Samura and do not belong to me. Not one sen will come into my hands in consequence of this story.

Warnings for sex in various forms, including quasi-incestuous themes and a sixteen-year-old female paired with an adult male. Violence and dismemberment are legally required in any BotI fic, though at the immediate moment we're just going to have fun with the sex part.


Abstinence Education
by Madame Manga

Part Two


"What the hell were you doing without me?"

He couldn't have seen her yet. Rin stopped just before turning the corner of the hut; acrid smoke from Manji's cooking fire stung her nostrils. She'd realized that he'd be at least a little angry to find her gone when he woke up, even though she'd written a note before leaving. She'd planned to say something clever and calming when she got back. Before she had to tell him something else which he'd probably like even less...

"Err..."

Rin heard her bodyguard slide forward and slowly stand up; the scabbards of his twin swords dragged along the porch with a hollow sound. "I thought I told you — don't go into the marketplace by yourself. Those Itto-ryu bastards can pop up anywhere."

Even though Manji was her bodyguard, he didn't often admit to being worried; that almost warmed her along with a pang of guilt. But his sharp tone worried Rin in turn; Manji probably guessed her morning's absence had something to do with the previous night's tensions. Perhaps he felt ashamed and wanted cover; perhaps he even blamed her. Heart beating fast, Rin closed her eyes and stayed where she was. "M-Manji-san, I wasn't... I only wanted to..."

"Look, you idiot kid — Anotsu's probably told 'em to keep an eye peeled for you, and they've got plenty of reasons to grab you as a hostage. For starters!" Manji's voice cracked a little; Rin blinked at his vehemence.

An awkwardly extended pause, as if Manji realized he'd run ahead of himself. But in a few moments he spoke again, familiar sarcasm buttressing his voice. "Nobody bothered today, I guess. But If I have to come looking for you again after dragging my ass all the way to Kaga and back, I'm gonna get severely pissed."

"Hostage? Oh, please! You mean because it's really you they're after." Rin walked around the corner of the hut to the porch, folded her arms and glared at Manji. He glared back.

"Naw, they'd just knock you on the head, 'cause it's too damn tricky to keep an eye on you, ya slippery little — !" Manji vented a groan and looked out over the pond. "Do you even hear what I'm saying, or am I just breaking wind?"

"I brought my sword along." Rin glanced down at the long Chinese blade she carried slung through the straps of her shoulder bag. "I could have used it."

Manji rolled his eye and snorted ungraciously. "You ain't half ready to take on one of those guys. Now a couple of scummy bandits hunting for girls to sell — maybe you could scare 'em off if you bawled loud enough."

"We've been training a whole lot! Don't you think I've learned anything yet?"

"Gimme a break — you don't block hard enough three times out of ten." He pointed at two ears of roasted corn he had laid out on the green husks. "Eat yer goddamn breakfast."

Rin pouted. She briefly considered turning around and leaving again without another word. But she was hungry, not having touched food since she rose, so she sat down, delicately took one ear and started to gnaw off the kernels. This late in the season, the corn was tough and starchy, and even chewier after sitting for a couple of hours. Manji watched her for a few moments, then leaned against a roof post with his arms folded.

"So what was so important you had to sneak off before dawn? Blowing your cash on sweets and crap?"

Rin took several mouthfuls and licked her fingers before answering. "I didn't go to the marketplace. I went to a kimono merchant's." Manji raised a brow. "I had to... sell something."

"Didn't know you had any spare duds to get rid of."

"I went to the house to look through what I have stored there. I found a few odds and ends I didn't mind parting with." Rin rolled the corncob in her fingers; all that she had been able to sell was her mother's best gold-embroidered uchikake robe, and she felt a little ashamed of having done so. But she'd needed the money...

"The dojo? What?" Manji's forehead creased; he straightened up. "You haven't been back there since you and me..."

"I lived there alone for two years! What could be different now?"

"Well... nothing, I guess." He grimaced and scratched his scalp. "Too many ghosts in that place."

"I know." It took her an effort to smile. "I made some offerings to my parents' spirits at a shrine, but there was plenty of money left." Rin finished her ear of corn, reached into her sleeve and took out a heavy little package. She set it on the edge of the porch: ten gold koban, done up in paper with the value written on the outside. "This is... for you."

Rin turned her palms up and set her fingertips against the package to slide it slightly towards Manji. She bowed, then sat back and picked up the second ear of corn. Maybe she appeared calm and sure of herself now...

"Hnn?" Manji stooped to take the package from the porch and weighed it in his hand. "What for?"

"Your salary."

"My salary?" He fingered the strokes of the writing with an air of confused annoyance and then held out the package at arm's length with his chin drawn in, as if he thought it smelled bad. "We never arranged it like this. You just paid for the inns and gave me some drinking money. What's with the big payoff?"

"That's... more or less what it is. Your payoff."

He shot a look at her, his brows going down.

"I'm giving you severance pay." Rin briefly closed her eyes. "I'm not employing you as my yojimbo any more."

The package dropped from Manji's extended hand and broke open, spilling the big oval coins into the dirt. "The HELL?" Manji's face changed color and his eye glared wide. "You can't fire me!"

"Why not? If I could hire you, then -- "

"Hire me?"

"You need to live your own life. You're a man... with a man's needs. I know you've been pretty, um, bored lately just training me, and you don't want to have to babysit any longer. We can go our separate ways, and you can do whatever you want." Rin smiled all the way through her well-rehearsed speech, her heart pounding, and stared into the distance to avoid looking at Manji's expression.

"Hell no, woman -- it don't work that way! I've paid for you, remember? Don't try to buy me off."

Rin's head snapped around. "I'm not!"

"Then what's all the cold cash for, hah? I've put a hell of a lot of work in you -- you ain't going to risk my investment on yer own again."

"YOUR investment? I've taken care of myself before — "

"You little idiot!" Manji seized her by the shoulders and shook her; the half-eaten corn flew out of her hand. "You'd be dead in a week! If Anotsu's guys hear you don't even have a bodyguard — "

"Th-th-the Itto-ryu's concerned with a lot more than just m-m-me!" Rin chattered through the shaking. "Anotsu's in some kind of trouble with the bakufu — "

"So what? Come on — "

"So Anotsu probably doesn't have me on his mind at all, and even if he did, he wouldn't do anything about it!" Rin wriggled from Manji's grasp and retreated to the far corner of the porch to get a little distance. He moved towards her and she circled out into the yard, around the hibachi and back to the other end of the porch, Manji turning on his heel and tracking her every step of the way.

"Looked like he had you pretty firmly on his mind, last I saw of him. You claimed you'd keep your eye on him until it was time to kill him. Why wouldn't he decide to take care of you for good?" Manji's chest gave a heave.

"I was with him for days, remember? I saw how he thinks — Manji-san, it might be strange to say it, but he's got a sense of honor. Maybe even... too much of one. That's just not the way he operates."

"Maybe so." Manji's mouth twitched in a fleeting grimace. "If he didn't when he had you alone... okay." He looked away and his stance changed, a just-perceptible slump of the shoulders. "Might make some kind of sense."

"Thank you." Rin patted her collar straight. "You know, I have to start building my life too."

"Build your life? Like how?"

Rin took a deep breath and fingered one braid ring. "I'll go live at the dojo again. I have some acquaintances in the neighborhood... I need to visit and re-introduce myself. I haven't been part of my family's society in years, but I am still Asano Takayoshi's daughter." She raised her chin and looked Manji straight in the face. "I can make a place for myself with some effort, and that's what I should do."

Manji's expression struck her oddly; he let out a short hard breath and went pale. "Okay, I got you."

"What do you mean?"

"Make a place for yourself... fine, you do that." He pointed to his chest. "No place for an outlaw. Right?"

"Manji-san?"

"Aw, don't get coy. You know what I'm sayin'." He laughed unpleasantly. "You'd scandalize your nice neighbors, bringing along your low-life bodyguard to their damn tea parties. Ol' Manji would just be a turd in yer rice bowl!"

Rin's mouth dropped open. "No... that's not what I..."

"But that's what it adds up to, don't it? The hell with it." He turned his back and stalked a few paces away, out from under the shade of the porch roof. "So I ain't too hot with proper social etiquette..."

Rin stared at the back of his head for a few flabbergasted moments, hardly able to get her breath; she'd never realized that he'd see it this way, and she had no defense prepared. Blinking rapidly to ward off tears, she looked at the ground and the broken packet of gold. "Um... your money...?" Her voice trembled, so she pointed instead of speaking further when Manji glanced at her. He looked dark and sullen; could she actually have hurt his feelings?

"Shit... can't go forgetting money." Manji stooped and grabbed a coin, then tossed it in the air and snatched it again with a motion so quick Rin barely followed it. "Guess I can buy all the whores I want now, can't I?" He bit down on the edge of the coin with his side teeth and left a deep mark in the gold.

Rin gulped and shivered; why in heaven's name had she asked him about that last night? "It's your b-b-business... Manji, don't you know I wouldn't tell you this because of who you are? If... if you think about it, you'll see that it's... just better, okay?"

"Better?" He squatted on his haunches and glared up at her. "So buying whores and getting drunk is how you figure I want to spend my life? Which if you recall is likely to be a damn long one."

Rin flushed. "You'd rather be fighting, I guess..."

"Fighting the right guys, sure. Barring that — " He blew out through his teeth and collected the rest of the coins, some of which remained in the broken paper.

"It's not like my vendetta is the only way to find evil men to kill." Rin looked down at Manji's spiky topknot, which cast irregular slashes of shadow on the back of his neck. She moved aside when he reached for a coin she had stepped on.

"You think that's why I've been doing this?" Manji rose to his feet and dumped the coins and wrapper into his left sleeve, dirt and all. "Month after month, and it's all about killing off the bad guys for little Rin's revenge?"

"That's why you agreed to do it in the first place... right?"

"In the first place, maybe." Manji glanced at her with creased brows while he shrugged the collar of his kosode a little further closed. He folded his arms into his sleeves and looked out along the road. "Gotta admit it's turned out kinda... interesting."

"Well, there just isn't much for you to do any more. I'll be living quietly and training... you'd be bored out of your skull." Rin spread her hands and tried to sound confident and mature, though it was difficult to suppress her trembles. Manji's reaction had been the only part of the break she truly feared, far more than the dangers her enemies posed; she knew he was a stubborn man, but perhaps he would just have to accept their parting if she didn't let her determination falter. "It could be years before I need to look up Anotsu Kagehisa again, and by then... I'll find some way to face him by myself."

"Not without me you won't." Manji didn't look at her, but his tone was both quiet and oddly ominous. He slowly scratched his elbows inside his sleeves; Rin glimpsed the hilt cap of a hidden sword, one among many.

"It's not your business any more. I just... laid you off, remember?"

Manji's features tightened, the white scars standing out against his flushed skin. With deliberation he withdrew one hand from his clothing, exactly like his gesture in pulling out a weapon, and held up his pointing finger. When Rin's eyes went to it, he poked the finger at the air to punctuate his words, ending on a downward jab with his lips peeled back from his teeth. "No. Freaking. WAY."

His face, his voice... not a trace of a smile. A peculiar prickle crawled up the back of her scalp; this wasn't a mood she knew at all. In haste Rin shouldered her bag and straightened the sword. "You... you can't tell me what to do! I... I'm leaving now — please don't follow me."

"Big bad samurai begging after a little girl? Shit, that'd look pathetic!" Now Manji laughed, though not in a way that relieved her. "Nah, that ain't happening... because you ain't leaving." He spat on the ground and squared his shoulders towards her.

Rin flinched at Manji's expression. Her sense of an unfamiliar threat solidified and grew, even more unsettling that it had felt in the dark hut the night before. Her eyes dilated and she backed up as he approached. "Manji-san, p-please... don't be so mad..."

"Mad?" He stopped and made a face, as if he'd overstepped again. "Ah... naw, what would anybody get mad for?" Looking into the sky, he scratched the back of his head and mocked her tone. "Please take a hike, Manji-san! Who needs ya? Just don't get angry or nothing!'" With a sarcastic snicker, he turned and put a little space between them. He rubbed his chin and covered his mouth, as if holding back the rest of what he might have said.

"I'm only trying to do what's best for both of us! I... I thought you'd be... relieved."

"Hah?" Manji's expression softened slightly as he looked around at Rin. "Relieved to get shot of you? You ain't making sense, girl."

"Well... uh, I've noticed..." Rin bit her lips and clasped her hands in front of her, quivering with embarrassment. On the way into town and back, she had worked out this conversation in detail and designed her arguments and strategic evasions, but logic and calm threatened to desert her now. Speaking these things to Manji's face was vastly different from having an ideal exchange with the air. Especially when he reacted so unpredictably...

"Um, last night... " Rin put the back of one hand to her perspiring forehead and began again. "I'm s-sorry, of course I couldn't help but notice, and I guess you realized that I..."

"Notice what?" Manji folded his arms into his sleeves again. Rin blinked at him.

"What? That you were feeling — err, well, very uneasy around me, and — "

"Me, uneasy? Gimme a break."

Her mouth opened in surprise. "Manji-san, you yelled at me! Okay, not yelled exactly, but I thought that — "

"What, you were buggin' me with dumb questions... like a mosquito whining in my ear?" He scratched under his chin with pointed unconcern. "So? All of a sudden me getting a little pissed is a big deal?"

"But... because it was — oh, honestly! You know what it was!" She hid her mouth with her sleeve.

"How the hell do I know what yer dreamin' up, kid?"

Utterly confused, Rin dropped her hands to her sides and took a step backwards. Had her memory failed her? She'd gotten the wrong idea entirely? No — she couldn't have mistaken it. The sound of his breathing in the dark...

So now he was joking with her, was he? Rin gave Manji a disgusted grimace and stalked up to him. "Ohh, I don't believe you sometimes! How can you pretend that never happened?"

"What, something happened?" He smirked and lifted a brow. "Can't say I noticed... but then I did have a drop at bedtime."

"Oooh!" Rin swung and smacked Manji on the arm with her open palm. Then she turned around and put her face in her hands.

"Aw, crap... quit snivelin'. Go get your goddamn bokuto and take it out of me if you're that pissy." Manji snapped his fingers at her. "Who knows, if you try harder this time you might get in a lick or two."

Rin's shoulders heaved, but she swallowed her tears. She took a few deep steadying breaths, then looked up. "No, Manji-san. I'm going now."

"Like hell you are. I already told you why not — so you listen to — "

"No, you listen to ME!" Rin stamped her foot. "I... I can't stay here with you... be-because... because..." To her mortification, her voice faltered and trailed off.

"I'm listening, but I ain't hearing a thing." Manji turned up his palms and raised his brows. "If there's something you just gotta say — "

"Y-you... you..." she croaked. He circled a finger in the air as if to pull out the next word. "You wanted to — you're dreaming about — you want..." Rin squeezed her eyes shut. "Last night... I was sure you wanted me."

The silence roared.

So she'd pulled out the guts of the matter at last — and she wished she had left it entirely alone, or buried it as deep as the garbage pile. Anything but drag it into the hot and unforgiving sun... Rin ventured a look at Manji and cringed.

He stared at her with mixed incredulity and actual pain. "The fuck — the hell? What in the shit did you think I was gonna DO to you, kid?" He pointed at the hut and let out a hissing pant as if she had kicked him. Almost too horrified even to be angry. "Strip you and throw you on the straw? Holy freakin' shit!"

Rin's lips trembled and opened — what had she done? Really hurt him, that was what. He turned away from her, his fists clenching. "Manji-san... I'm sorry — I didn't mean it like that... I'm sorry!" He made a wide swatting gesture as if to chase her away, then put his head down and shook it hard, as if trying to dislodge an image from his mind.

Rin flung her bag to the porch. She ran at Manji and embraced him from behind, digging her face into his side. Manji flinched and seemed about to wrest himself from her arms. "Please, sensei, you've got to forgive me... I'm so stupid!" She burst into anguished tears. "Oh... no..."

Manji groaned and slumped. He extracted his arm from between them, slowly raised it and put his hand on her head. He patted her hair once, then let his hand fall. "Kid..."

"I... I... w-wouldn't ever think... M-Manji... ohh..." She blubbered into his clothes, gulping and sniffling. "Please... it's not your fault... I... oh, God..."

"Okay already! You're gettin' me all wet." Manji put his hands on her shoulders and moved her a little away from him. He shook his head at her, frowning deeply. "You didn't mean it like that? So how did you mean it? Crap on a stick!"

"I meant... that it's all MY fault..." Rin raised her face to Manji, her tears almost unrelieved. "Not yours! That if I wasn't... if I just hadn't... I'm sorry." She bowed her head and wiped her nose with the back of her hand, then dabbed at her eyes. "I... I should have realized..."

"Hah?" He let go of her shoulders. "Still not making sense."

Rin gulped and dried her face as well as she could. "I mean, not that anyone can actually read what's in another person's mind, but... I guess I can't keep from showing it to you, what I'm thinking, and so I shouldn't have been thinking about it in the first place even if I wasn't totally sure how much I was..."

"What the...?" Manji blew out an uncomprehending snort. "Since when do I give a crap what anybody's thinking?"

"But I know I've made you unhappy." Rin looked at her toes, scuffed her geta in the dirt and tried to swallow a choking lump. "It all comes out wr-wrong when I try to... I only made it worse for you instead of better — "

"Anything YOU could do? Come spit in the freakin' ocean." He laughed shortly. "Hell, cut the explanations — I don't care. You're staying, end of story. We can still get in a few kata before noon."

"No, Manji, I need to tell you. Now."

An odd flash of apprehension when Manji glanced at her: then he swatted the air again. "Naah... it ain't important."

"Yes, it is! There's nothing more important I could ever say to you..." Yearning expanded within her and pressed for release; Rin's heart seemed to sink and rise at the same time. She looked up at Manji; the high sun struck across his features. His hard, scarred, dear face. "Ohh..."

"Eh?" His brows tilted. Rin clasped her hands just under her throat and let her emotions suffuse her. Her lips parted; her eyelids fluttered and her breast heaved. She managed a tender, trembling smile, hoping to infuse it with infinite meaning.

Her bodyguard answered it with an expression draining of everything but shock — a different sort of shock entirely. He retreated a step. "What the fu — ?"

"Manji, I..." she breathed.

"No, you don't." He set his teeth and firmly shook his head. Rin extended her arms to him and he recoiled. "Hey! Keep yer hands to yourself!"

"But I... I think I just realized how much... but I've always dreamed of — "

Manji stopped her with a loud spluttering chuckle. Then he threw back his head and laughed. Full-throated and heartless, his stomach shaking with mirth. "Aw, stop it — you're killin' me!" Rin laid her hands over her heart, lifted her chin and waited, cheeks burning.

Eventually Manji's hilarity sputtered away into light chortling; he rubbed his eye with the heel of his hand. "C'mon, ya idiot kid." He took a deep breath and blew it out. "You? Throw an itch on me? Yer dreamin', all right — get serious."

"I AM serious."

"Yeah, sure. Not a clue, little girl!"

"Why shouldn't I know how I feel? I'm old enough to — "

"To get yourself in deep shit? Now that I can agree with." He made a disgusted huff. "Look, just forget about it. There's not a chance in hell."

"I can't forget it, Manji! So I thought leaving was best... but maybe that was the wrong idea." She looked over his head with a drawn-out sigh, then into his face. "I shouldn't be a coward and try to evade the question. It doesn't matter what kind of trouble... uh, what kind did you mean, exactly?"

"If you don't know that, I sure ain't telling you!"

"You're talking about... how you felt last night?"

Manji cast up his gaze and made a face. Although Rin thought his expression smacked of a guilty conscience, he shook his head again. "Nothing went on last night, and it ain't going to, and it's all your goddamn imagination anyhow. I said forget it."

Rin folded her arms and narrowed her eyes. "My imagination, huh?"

"Ahh, yer head's full of goddamn stars 'n' flowers and pretty poetry, ain't that so? Little virgin like you." He gave a derisive groan. "I'm a guy, see? You ought to be a lot more careful, girl, because a grown man's a whole different story."

"Well, I realize there must be some differences... but if there's something I need to know about men, I can learn! What's so dangerous about that?"

"Shitfire..." Manji made vague gestures in the air. "Look, most guys would grab a crazy hint like that with both hands, even though you're just a kid, and then... aw, crap..." He rolled his head back and forth. "God! Just take my word for it!"

"I don't believe you."

"Hah?"

"Why should I take your word for it? You're always teasing me! Trying to scare me about things I know I can handle perfectly well!" Rin set her shoulders and put her fists on her hips. "Manji-san, you're so... full of it!"

He goggled at her. "Why, you little — "

"Oh, make up your mind! Is there nothing to it, or is it going to get me in trouble if I don't watch out? It can't be both at once."

Manji seemed at a loss. He chewed his jaw and looked away. "Well... y'see... lots of other guys..."

"I don't see anyone here but us."

"I know that." He pulled his lips tight over his teeth. "Look, this just don't need explaining — a man's what he is, and a woman..."

"A woman is what?"

"...Is a woman." He made another vague gesture, his palms outlining a slim shape in the air and then closing down on it, curved in front of him. Rin opened her eyes a little wider, but Manji showed no sign that he meant to signify anything; in the next moment he spread his arms and let the phantom go. "I can't put it any more plain than that. So drop it... now. Or somebody's gonna regret it."

"Oh yeah? Prove it."

"Prove it?"

"If it's so totally obvious the way you claim it is? That ought to be easy."

"No... it ain't." Manji closed his eye and gave a helpless snort. "Why put words to what everybody knows? Everybody who's not a nutty little virgin who could use a few hard lessons, that would be..."

"Then don't put words to it." Rin smiled and put her head on one side when he looked at her. "Show me."

Manji's wry expression went a little slack. "Show...?"

"Like you do when we're training. You don't talk about draws and blocks and guarding your off side all that much — you demonstrate so I can get the idea quicker and start following along. So if you went ahead and — "

Manji put up a hand. "Whoa there. Slow down!"

"What?"

"Demonstration — what are you thinking, woman? Don't even go near that."

"Why not?"

"Why NOT?" His color changed. "If you had any idea how a guy feels when he's good and worked up..."

"Worked up?"

"Worked up! Hot! Raring to go — " He glanced down her body, then away. "Ahh, what'm I saying? Damn skinny kid... I must not be gettin' enough sleep..."

"Well, what makes a man feel like that in the first place? It doesn't come out of nowhere, does it?"

"...Seems like that sometimes." Manji shook his head. "Just plain... outta nowhere."

"Doesn't it have anything to do with the woman?" Rin put a fingernail to her mouth and looked up at him through her eyelashes. "Doesn't he have to... um, you know, really like her?"

"Shit, no!" He chuckled darkly. "Not to get into details..."

"Hah?" Rin blinked at him, shocked. "Doesn't she even need to be... well, pretty?"

"Gimme a break. You've seen the poxy whores who stroll after nightfall?" Manji chuckled again. "There's a reason they usually operate in the dark and don't charge high — but they make their living anyhow."

Rin dropped her gaze to the ground, deeply chagrined. "Oh... ugh." Then she had done Manji yet another injustice; he'd always said she was a gawky kid, and apparently hadn't changed his mind in the least. "Men like, um, that, enough that it doesn't even matter who the woman is?" What silly assumptions on which to build a fantastic edifice...

"You got it." He seemed on surer ground now that she looked so deflated, and grinned. "Your average guy between fifteen and thirty? He could just hear a woman's voice say his name... and instantly spring to attention."

"Manji...?" The undertone of that grin seemed to put a sly connotation on his literal meaning. Rin tilted her head skeptically at him. Maybe he was teasing her again, though it didn't read exactly like that. "That's all it takes for him to... to get interested in a woman?"

"Maybe — or he feels her touch his sleeve... or he smells her when she's been bustling around and working up some sweat..." Manji grimaced and shrugged, then abruptly walked past Rin and out to one of the big maples near the hut. He paused in the shade and leaned one palm on a trunk, stiff-armed.

"Little things like that? Really?"

Manji didn't answer. Rin watched him with interest while he slowly wiped his averted face with his other hand. He seemed to want to wash away his expression and leave his features unreadable. For the first time she was directly reminded of his odd behavior the previous night, when he'd seen her bathing and hadn't retreated for a few moments. He was hiding something...

"Uh... I thought you were going to tell me about this, Manji-san?"

"...Tell you what?" He massaged the back of his neck.

"About a man reacting to a woman... no matter who she is. I don't see how that could work — it's not like I'd ever think that way about just any man."

"Why would you? You're a kid." His voice sounded distant, as if directed to the tree or the pond. "But even when he knows damn well she's not for... a guy doesn't forget for a second that a woman's a woman."

Manji had said almost the same thing a minute before, but now he seemed to refer to himself rather than the entire male sex. Within her a responding note vibrated softly, like a stringed instrument barely brushed by a finger. "So, then?"

"Hell, it's stupid — he tells himself every day he ain't got a grain of sense and he'd better think about his duty..." Manji hardly seemed to be speaking to her at all, though he might have felt half-relieved to vent a long-bound tension, or even unearth a buried resentment. "Like... she'll smile at him like a flower turning its face to the sun, and open those big eyes real wide when she's got a question, and blush pink when he talks rough, and give him a good thump when he deserves it... and then when he gets a glimpse at a sweet bit of girl-flesh he wasn't expecting to see... he might even go sort of... crazy." Manji pushed his hair out of his face and muttered a curse.

Rin put a couple of fingertips to her lips; Manji didn't look at her as she slowly approached and tried to see his face. Any sign that he was stringing her along? Knowing him, he might say almost anything just to tease out a reaction. "Doesn't a man enjoy that feeling? You almost make it sound like it... hurts."

"Hurts?" Manji rolled his head back and laughed in a constrained, ironic way. "Like an arrow he can't pull from his flesh. Starts to fester..." He paused, his expression closely veiled, and his voice dropped lower. "Funny, when it's done for effect it's nothing much, like a whore's come-ons for coppers... and when it's just how she is and she couldn't fake it for the world — it only makes it worse."

Now he had run far ahead of her understanding; Rin's brows creased in some suspicion. "Worse? How bad do you mean?"

"Like sitting in hell-fire. Demons clamping iron tongs on his... nose." Manji laughed again.

"Oh, come on!" He WAS teasing her, the jerk! "Looking at him? Smiling? That would go on all the time if they lived in the same house. And if nothing happens even so, then you — er, he... couldn't be feeling too — "

Manji squeezed his features tight and clenched his teeth. "No... yer not gettin' me."

Rin folded her arms and tapped her fingers on her elbow. "Then explain it better."

Manji held up both palms, almost touching. "Just THAT much. That much keeping me from..." He threw his arms wide and appealed to the heavens. "If I'm going to hell already, just hurry up and send me there!"

"Are you interested in giving me serious answers or not? Because if you won't even do that, I'm guess I'm going to have to leave after all." Rin waited a few moments for a reply, and receiving none, she headed for the porch to get her bag.

"Hey! Goddammit!" Manji strode after her and grabbed her arm. "Cut that out!"

"Cut what out?"

"Gallivanting off all by your little self! You've pulled that on me too many times already — if I've got one word to say about it, you're never causing me that much trouble again." He pointed at his chest. "I'm your damn bodyguard, I'm your sensei — "

"If it's that hard to explain something you claim to know everything about — something about yourself, for heaven's sake — then what do you think you can teach me? Eh?" Rin attempted to free her arm and slapped Manji's wrist.

"Shit!" Manji let go of her and made a furious gesture. "What the hell do you think I'm supposed to — ?"

"I don't know, because you won't tell me. I told you honestly how I felt, and all you can do is get mad and laugh at me and refuse to explain anything except with weird jokes!" Rin sniffled and wiped her nose. "Why should I stay? I'm even more confused than you are!"

"Aw... crap." He dropped his face into one hand. "Fine. Ask!"

"Err... I think I forgot the question." They looked in opposite directions for a few moments, both of them breathing irregularly. "Well, um... sensei..."

"...Go on."

"You must be exaggerating! I mean, only smelling a woman can make a man feel like demons are torturing him? That's weird."

"Never said it wasn't..."

"Wouldn't you be seeing men following women around... like dogs?"

"Ya think that doesn't happen? Some guys, sniffing the hem of an underskirt..." Manji snorted. "Mostly, though, broads come when you call."

"I know that — but if women could have that kind of power, why do men run everything?"

Manji gave her an off-center grin. "Fair question... and there's your answer." He slightly cocked his hips forward and rapped his sword hilts. "If a guy keeps his mind on his own strength instead of what a woman can do to it, he's gonna knuckle under to no one." His grin grew wider, but then he glanced away and muttered. "Takes practice, though... or he's gonna start slipping."

"You're really strong, Manji-san, so I don't see why you'd even worry!"

"Who's worried?" He gazed off over her head.

"Well..." Rin chewed her lip. This still didn't follow, to her mind — first he spoke as if being near her tormented him, exactly the way she thought she'd observed last night, and then he dismissed such emotion as trivial or even unmanly. He had to be either kidding her or trying to figure it out himself — and Manji always had things figured out. Uncertainty was no part of his makeup. Neither did he ever dwell on his own discomforts. Nothing could damage him permanently; nothing ever left a trace on him, body or mind. She should realize that by now...

Rin raised her brows and sighed. "Can I ask you something else?" Manji made a negligent wave of the hand. "I still think you've got to be exaggerating about the little everyday stuff. So what would be some of the, um, bigger things that make a man feel like that about a woman? Short of... well... that." She blushed. "Th-the next step after seeing her smile... or whatever. What's in between?"

"Uh... " Manji's face twitched. "Well..."

"Like holding hands?" Rin prompted. She knew more about this than he thought she did, apparently, though he obviously didn't like the question. "Or, er, hugging?"

"Yeah, that." He seemed faintly relieved that she had mentioned it first. "And kissing — well, that's about as far as it could go without, uh..."

"Okay. That sounds a little more believable."

Manji rolled his eye. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"So why don't you just kiss me?" She held up her arms. "Go on."

Manji's eye went wide, his face went pale, and then he flushed dark red. "Haah?"

"There's no harm in that, is there? A kiss... or two... and then maybe I'll have a better idea of what you're talking about." Rin smiled; the proposal struck her as both tidy and clever. She'd get a little closer to him, find out how it felt... and perhaps he'd even admit out loud that he did like her.

"B-b-better idea?"

"Of how a man feels around a woman. Remember, you said I had no idea because I was a girl! So you should teach me about it, if you think I need to know."

"I said — it was dangerous. Didn't I?"

"But it's not dangerous if it's YOU! I totally trust you, Manji-san — you're my yojimbo. I know you'd never do anything bad to me! See? I didn't mean it like that at all." Rin opened her arms and gave him a warm smile.

"...And you think... that offerin' to let me molest you... is gonna prove that." Manji clapped a palm to his forehead and dragged it down to cover his face. "Holy... freakin'..." He half turned and almost staggered away. "You don't have to fire me. I'll just turn in my resignation... and run like hell!"

"I said 'kiss'! What's wrong?"

Manji faced the hut wall and propped himself up with one hand, his shoulders heaving. She wasn't sure if he were laughing or trying not to weep. "What did I do to deserve... sixteen-year-old logic?"

"You're being really strange about this, Manji, you know that?" Rin put her hands on her hips. "Maybe you do deserve it, for all the times you've made fun of me that way!"

He slumped a little further. "Yeah, I did... didn't I?"

"Ha! See? You're the one who brought it up first, and I never would have said a thing this time without you acting so funny! So you owe me!"

"This is... freakin' blackmail." Manji clenched a fist against his forehead. "Am I gonna get outta this mess... any other way?"

"But... wouldn't you like it at all?" He groaned but didn't answer. "You — you're not afraid?"

Manji's spine snapped straight. "Hah?"

"Are you afraid... OF liking it?"

Manji smacked the boards so hard that Rin jumped. "Okay. That does it."

He whipped around and came right up to her; Rin's eyes went wide at the aggressive glitter in his eye. Manji didn't seize her and crush her to him like the hero of a romantic story, however; he grasped her by the shoulders and held her off a little way, glaring as if he'd rather swat her than embrace her. His expression gradually changed to a speculative frown; he examined her face and chewed his jaw. He might have been weighing one certain chance of painful death against another. Rin didn't dare venture a word.

With a couple of slow reverse steps, Manji drew her with him until he encountered the hut's side wall again. Then he slid one hand around Rin's back and put the other at her waist. A gradual tightening of his arms until she stood almost between his thighs. He reclined his shoulders against the boards so that she leaned with him; Rin had to let her face tilt up or else bump her nose into Manji's chest. Before she could bring up her hands to support herself, her breasts pushed slightly into his ribs and flattened against his body. Rin leaned back to break the contact, her heart beating quickly.

Manji might have been studying his own reactions as well as hers; he made no move other than a slight flexing of his fingertips against her shoulder blade, and didn't close down his open grip. Watching her closely, but with thoughts turned inwards. Rin saw his face darken with a gradual flush, and the quality of his gaze altered as it descended from her eyes.

Fixed on her lips: his expression both warmed and tightened. His own mouth hardened, as if against an urge to open wider, and he spoke with brittle constraint. "A kiss, huh?"

"Um... yes?"

"You ain't talking... on the mouth?" Tongue-tip along his teeth, so quick she barely saw it.

"Good grief, of COURSE not! Just on my cheek or something!" Rin blushed at the continued intensity of Manji's gaze and put up a hand to hide her lips. "Gosh, a man kissing a woman on the mouth is practically the same as... well, YOU know!" She spluttered and giggled through her fingers.

Manji said nothing, but he gave a suppressed shudder.

"So, um... go ahead." Rin laced her hands in front of her and smiled at him. "I'm all ready."

Manji returned the smile, much diluted. With deliberation, he put a hand on her jaw and tilted her face to the side as he leaned forward again. He rubbed his nose along her cheekbone without letting his lips touch her skin, then breathed out in a warm gust and drew a deep draft of air through his nose while nuzzling her hairline.

Rin sighed and smiled; it felt very pleasant just to be so near her yojimbo, to enjoy his touch and to feel like he might enjoy it too. He seemed to think she smelled nice, at any rate. His own scent warmed her nostrils, an element of his masculinity she had not thought about very much before now. Probably he'd washed his body the night before while absent from the hut, at about the same time she had, but she detected a higher note in his sweat reminiscent of working out with their practice swords in the heat. It didn't strike her as unpleasant or strong, but it was so distinctly his that she could feel it strike responses in the deep fibers of her body. Memories crowded on her, both vague and acute, each adding its vibrations to remind her just why she had told him how she felt...

Before she could register any more impressions, Manji straightened up, puffed out his cheeks and looked over her head. He pulled a noncommittal face, raising his brows as his gaze scanned from side to side.

"Manji?"

"Still want me to do it? Kiss you?"

"Yes... please." Rin blushed and shyly glanced down, then up at him again.

"...Your funeral." Manji gave an odd one-sided smirk. He bent down again as if to continue, but looked straight at Rin's mouth once more. The end of his tongue showed again for a moment, then he turned his face and brushed his open lips against her jawline. Rin closed her eyes and cooed a tiny, savoring sigh in the back of her throat.

Manji jolted as if she had planted an elbow in his stomach. His hands clenched for a moment on her upper arms, though he didn't stop nor push her away. Breathing hard, he abruptly pressed a full kiss to the soft flesh of her cheek. The tip of his tongue flickered out to taste her skin, and then he kissed the delicate area by Rin's closed left eye, touched her temple in passing and encountered her ear. Warm stirrings twirled in her middle; her pulse beat rapidly but lightly under her jaw. Rin leaned in against Manji's body and slipped one hand around his waist.

The sword hilts on his left hip poked her ribs; Rin nudged them aside with her elbow so she could press even closer to him. Then she ventured up to grasp Manji's open collar, and as she rolled her fingers in the worn and softened fabric of his clothes, the side of her thumb touched his chest through the gap of his kosode. The morning wasn't yet very hot, but his skin felt moist with sweat.

He really did like this, she was sure, he wanted to hold her and touch her — Rin's breathing quickened. Maybe he wouldn't mind if she returned the favor? She pursed her lips and applied a little peck to the end of his chin.

Manji stilled completely. His grip on her arms fell open, his limbs seemed to hang suspended in air. Only his shoulders moved up and down as he breathed.

Rin kissed his chin again. Sparse beard bristles prickled her lips, as did the coarse hairs at the angle of his jaw. Eyes closed, she sought out a smoother part of Manji's face.

He quivered low in his body while maintaining his odd stillness. Perhaps he was trying to suppress all urge to move; she might have been a little wild creature that would flee in fear if he startled her. Like watching a songbird that trilled oblivious on a nearby branch... or stalking a plump quail for the spit? Just as Rin pursed her lips again to drop a kiss on the front part of his cheek, Manji slightly jerked his head to the side.

Their lips brushed. Rin delivered her intended innocent caress to the corner of Manji's parted mouth.

His whole body stiffened and his neck snapped back. Rin's cheeks flushed eye-stingingly hot and she dipped her head and stood away from him, meaning to stammer an apology or at least a disclaimer — she hadn't meant it THAT way, of course — he mustn't think —

Manji clapped a hand to the back of her skull, pulled her in and touched his lips to hers. Mouth closed and dry, but Rin squeaked in as great a shock as if he had groped her between the legs. She tried to turn her face; Manji laid strong fingers along her jaw and prevented her. Again he kissed her on the mouth, harder this time.

And yet again. His lips parted as he lingered over the kiss. Rin trembled all over, unable to move a step — what way did HE mean this? From the rapid little tics in his breathing, he could have been snickering at her surprise. But in a moment he inhaled more deeply; his mouth softened against hers and his muscles relaxed. The kiss grew wetter.

Manji groaned faintly. His body seemed to press on hers with increasing weight. Rin's knees nearly buckled; she had to grab his shoulders to avoid slipping downwards. He put a thumb on her chin to tilt her head further back, moaned again and forced his lips against hers. One of Manji's hands clutched the small of Rin's back, his fingers digging into the cushion of her obi bow, and the other tightly cradled her head. As if he didn't mean to hold back in the least, as if the little songbird were a fluttering prisoner in his grasp, as if he could prove anything he liked — or as if he couldn't help himself. Stinging from the avaricious pressure of his kisses, Rin's lips yielded and opened. Manji invaded her mouth with his tongue and thrust it under hers.

If she'd ever been able to imagine her yojimbo's embrace in any detail, she hadn't accounted for the strength of her own intoxication. Rin's brain whirled in a disorienting spiral although neither of them moved except to strain closer to each other. Manji's warm tongue pushed deep into her mouth; their saliva freely mingled, which struck her as shockingly intimate. This wasn't exactly what she'd dreamed about — not even to a stronger degree, now that some element of her fantasies seemed to be coming true. She hadn't realized that people could touch each other so carnally with their clothes still on, nor that it could feel this way when they did. No wonder a mouth kiss was considered nearly equivalent to making love... though she had never gained a very clear picture of that act either.

Rin mimicked Manji's voracious caresses as well as she could, having no other idea how to respond. Not that she had any urge to reject him. She stood on tiptoe, slipped her hands up around his neck and hesitatingly put her tongue between his lips, then sank back to her heels. She tugged Manji's head down with her, but her mouth parted from his for a moment and their tongues untangled.

Manji groaned and staggered a step forward. With an impact that flexed her neck backwards, he crushed his face to Rin's again and groped for her lips. His hand stroked down from the small of her back to the slope of her haunches. The thick protective folds of Rin's obi gave way to the doubled pleat of her robe below her sash, then to the thinner layers of clothing covering her bottom. Underskirt, yukata, furisode all intervened — but she seemed to feel the heat of Manji's palm directly against her flesh.

Rin wriggled her hips in her bodyguard's grasp, responding to a hot, liquid tickle that crept between her legs and heated her lower belly. Manji swayed on his feet, as if all his equilibrium were spent in keeping his mouth sealed to hers. His chest pumped, his ribs pushing against her breasts in a broken rhythm like sobbing for breath. If he'd taken her by surprise in responding so aggressively to an accidental touch... then how surprised was he?

Abruptly he shoved her away, gasping. "No. Stop it!"

Rin stumbled and sat down in the dirt. Manji turned his back on her and slumped against the wall of the hut, his palm cupped over his mouth. Stop her, or himself? Both of them panted hard for several moments.

"M-Manji-san?" Rin struggled to stand, her legs still unsteady. "Are you..."

He whipped his head around and glared at her with an extraordinary expression: incredulous, almost appalled, and even accusing. "Fuck me — you'd do it, wouldn't you?"

"Wh-what?"

"If I asked you to let me spread your legs right now... you'd say yes!"

Rin's heartbeat accelerated even further, though that scarcely seemed possible. Spots danced in front of her eyes; she reached blindly for something to support her and found one of the shade trees. "Are... are you asking me?" She pressed her cheek to the rough bark, her gasping breaths scalding her heart.

"Hell no, you little fool!" Manji shrugged his shoulders upright and gave a contemptuous snort. "Got yer proof?"

Rin's face went cold. Then he'd faked it. Even that kiss — and she'd fallen for it so easily!

"Hah! Let that be a lesson to you." Manji adjusted the loosened overlap of his kosode and dusted his hands on his sleeves. "Never trust a man on that score. Not even me!"

She trembled in humiliation and tears blurred her eyes. "F-fine. I won't."

"Aw, kid, don't take it so hard. You asked for it, sure, but... maybe I carried it a little far." He wiped his lips and raked a hand through his hair, then chuckled thinly. "Didn't think it'd be quite that dangerous."

Rin looked up, startled. Manji shrugged in annoyance, as if regretting that he'd spoken, and started to turn away. Rin rubbed the tears out of her vision. "You mean... it really did make you feel that way?"

Manji missed a step and halted. For a moment he didn't reply, and then he grabbed the back of his neck and growled. "Don't get yer hopes up — men are all pigs. Which is my whole point, see?"

Rin's heart gave a bold thump. "But if I'm enough of a woman to make you, err, really react like a man... then maybe I'm enough of a woman to handle it. Um, the dangerous part." She drew herself up straight and tried to look as womanly as possible.

Manji turned around and stared at her in naked disbelief. When she bravely held his gaze with her shaking chin pulled into her chest, he laughed with an edge of despair and sat down hard on the porch, head in his hands. "Nope. Not a chance."

"Girls my age get married all the time."

"Married? Yeah, and they grow round bellies, too. Or didn't you know that it leads to brats?"

"Uh... I guess so... but not always, right? Especially when you're young."

"I wouldn't count on that, kid!" Manji suddenly raised his head and made a question mark at her with one brow. "Nice respectable samurai family with only one little girl-child? Exactly how much DO you know about... er, pillowing?"

"Well... I've seen dogs mating in the street... and it must be something like that, except that people usually do it indoors." Rin blushed and shrugged. "I guess men have something like, uh, that thing... that gets bigger... and then they put it, uh, between a woman's legs... and it's what husbands and wives do, and my mother's friends used to gossip about it and say that men get more out of it than a woman does, which is maybe why they like to pay for it in a brothel so they can do it more often, but I also heard that it makes a woman like a man more when she's done that with him. And that a woman can reach the Clouds and Rain the way a man does if he knows how to do it well, or if his, um, thing is the right size for her, and especially if she already likes him."

Manji listened to this speech in obvious astonishment, pressing his lips together as if manfully holding back a laugh. "If she... if she likes him? Holy... shit."

"Uh... is that not true?"

He got up and slapped his thighs. "I'm going into town, and I'm going to visit a bookseller's. You can come with me if you like — yeah, better tag along. We can pick out one or two that seem to be about your level."

"One or two what?"

"Shunpon. Pillow books. Like what your parents would have given you for a wedding present. Basic operating instructions, you got it?" At the look on Rin's face he burst out into a hearty guffaw. "I have a feeling that seeing actual pictures of people getting it on is going to give you second thoughts like nothing else. And all the better. Come on, I'll buy ya some noodles for lunch." Still laughing, he strode away.

Continued...