Revelations and Medications - Part I
Hard Night Out
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A great big, loving thanks to my
beta, L. Her encouragement means the
world to me. Without her, I wouldn’t be
able to read my own stuff because I would get too disgusted at the grammatical
errors. And I didn’t have to hold a very
big gun to her head to make her read the Manga
;-)>.
Another great big THANK YOU!!!! to my
reviewers. You said such nice things, I
was blushing all weekend!
Here you go – what was bothering our boy Dee….
Chapter 2 – Hard Night Out
Squirt in the eye,
some painful byproducts of cheap lemon
A few days later, Ryo and Dee
actually got off of their shift by early evening, meaning that they could try a
place they had heard about from some new friends.
message as soon as they stepped out of the subway.
house. After a quick call to Carol’s
aunt to make sure it was okay and that the children were doing homework, Ryo
could announce they had the night to themselves.
The restaurant turned out to be
everything promised to them and more.
Good food and a respectable wine list was par for the course in this neighborhood,
but this place had a special ambiance.
The narrow and dark dining room only had 20 tables, all of them the little
half moon booths that were so wonderful for snuggling up with your date.
booth was almost completely enclosed by frosted partitions so that once seated
they could not see or be seen by any of the other patrons.
fact by surprising
the other man was still putting his napkin in his lap.
The second
he was released from this surprise assault,
growled, “Oh, I already know that I am going to like this place.”
arm around Ryo’s shoulders and gave Ryo another kiss.
meal almost caused a small disaster half way through the night.
side of his fork and with his left hand and
entire entrée almost landed in their laps.
They laughed so hard that even their discreet server had to poke his
head in. Their waiter only needed a
split second to take in the two lovers with their arms still around each other
and
of the table; all the food slid to one side.
The waiter then flashed them a small knowing smile and left them again
throwing Dee and Ryo back into laughter.
The desert
was decadent and the coffee smooth. They
were having a wonderful time, feeling privileged that they didn’t have to be
home at any certain time and that once home they would be alone.
drink or even go to a club for a little while.
readily agreed to continuing their night but once they
were out on the street he seemed to suddenly sober up.
go home and enjoy an early night when Dee looked at him out of the corner of his
eye. “Ryo, do you mind if we go to this
certain place I know?”
“Sure,” Ryo
said wondering what this was all about.
“It’s a
club on the edge of the Village, but it’s kind of in a not so nice place.”
went on, “Don’t worry, it’s nothing weird.
We’ll just have a drink, maybe dance a little; talk.
this one place.”
“If that’s
where you would like to go, that’s fine,” Ryo said and started to follow Dee
into the subway, thinking that despite what
said there was something weird about this.
As soon as
they turned the corner Ryo understood
cryptic description. The place they
were heading to looked fairly nice, if a little run
down in a very
kind of way. The clientele was much like
themselves; young and not so young professionals well dressed and easy going
and looking for a pleasant night out.
The rest of the street was very
different. At the far end of the block there
seemed to be two or three very different establishments; bars that seemed to
only have patrons that wore leather or short shorts.
motorcycles, some actually parked on the sidewalk.
street was crawling with men, or more precisely men and boys.
looked to be a virtual sex supermarket. All
Ryo could see was a sea of big, hungry eyes.
“Oh, those poor boys…” Ryo started to say.
didn’t seem to hear Ryo’s comment, saying only, “In here,” as he smiled and grabbed
Ryo’s arm.
It was a nice quiet club.
next to the bar, but Ryo could just tell somehow that it wasn’t really
serious. This was flirting for sport,
most of the participants planning on leaving with the one that brought them.
it was mostly couples and groups of friends.
Here and there Ryo could spot an obvious third-wheel by their bored
looks and how they were trying to ignore their companions little looks and
touches.
Dee and Ryo threaded their way
through the crowd out to the side ‘porch’, one of thousands that had sprung up
in the city since the smoking ban had taken effect; everyone, including these
two cops, ignoring the fact that the ‘porch’ was much more open to the rest of
the bar than the outside.
Ryo was more than surprised when
storm-window over it did somewhat insulate them from the action, Ryo still felt
uncomfortably close to what was going on just inches away.
something big going on with
changed so drastically in the thirty minutes since they had left the
restaurant. Ryo just sat down on the far
end of his bench and concentrated on quietly observing his partner.
Once their waiter had finally
decided he would actually take their order he still seemed in no hurry to
actually bring the drinks.
and was just watching the activity out the window.
evident in his own eyes. To anyone else,
Dee probably looked like the normal, everyday
hazel and they alternated between darting frantically after the happenings
outside and staring fixed at nothing at all.
When the drinks finally did arrive
observation of himself. “What is it?”
boilermaker in front of him, “Did I grow two heads?”
“No,” said Ryo, “or rather I
already know you have two heads; the big one on top and the really big one down
below.”
face finally relaxed a bit and he even started to blush a little.
you know I like both of them, rather a lot.”
Now
had to chuckle; it was inevitable whenever Ryo managed to go both cute and
crude at the same time. With a genuine
smile
toasted, “To Dutch courage.”
With
grin and pointed toast Ryo felt he could finally comment.
to talk about. Is it the thing from the
other night?”
nodded, fingering the empty whisky glass before picking up the beer mug.
want to talk about,”
sip of the beer, “It is more of a need to kind of thing.”
When
didn’t say more and just turned to look out the window again, Ryo had to bite
his lip. He was so excited to be finally
getting an answer to why his lover kept getting so upset that he was very
afraid he would say the wrong thing and shut
down again. Of course he knew that,
whatever this secret turned out to be, it wasn’t going to be pretty.
what was tearing
took a deep breath and seemed to mutter something like ‘now or never’.
‘He
used to be who?’ Ryo wondered, ‘What
did he used to do?”
Then Ryo’s eyes followed
hustling up trade.
Ryo had to move.
where Dee could see it, see that he wasn’t leaving, Ryo got up and slid into
Slowly Ryo reached out and placed a hand on Dee’s elbow and, ignoring
window at his past and Ryo sitting behind him using just one hand to remind
Their waiter turned out to be much
more observant than Ryo had first hoped.
Instead of approaching the table that was suddenly roiling with tension
their server stopped a few steps back but within Ryo’s line of vision.
refill without intruding on
tip. Ryo amended that note when the
waiter brought the drink immediately and this time approached from behind Ryo
placing the two mismatched glasses just on the edge of the table in front of
Ryo. Ryo nodded in acknowledgment as he
thought to himself ‘really big tip’.
Both hands were needed for Ryo to
move the two-part drink in front of his partner but Ryo immediately
reestablished his soft touch once it was done.
Ryo went back to watching his lover’s seemingly unemotional back while
trying to send all of his love through the small contact.
finally turned his attention back into the bar and down to his new drink.
up the old beer to finish it before starting the new combo.
said quietly.
Once
had finished the beer and took a sip of the whiskey, Ryo spoke.
I need you to listen to me.” Ryo had
been going around and around in his brain trying to find the best way to
reassure Dee and, as usual, the only solution he could find to deal with
always. If anything I respect you more,
much more because you worked so hard to tell me, show me this.”
elbow, “Ok, Dee? I love you - full
stop. Are you hearing me?”
said something that was mostly lost behind the background noise.
…can’t understand…to you…crap…things…had done…someone like me…someone
like you…someone better…”
As Ryo figured out the direction of
Dee’s mumblings he suddenly got very, very angry and decided that
erupted, “Damn it,
shallow and clueless? Don’t you finally
know how much I love you? Do you think
my love is that weak after all I had to go through to find it and own it?”
finished the second whisky and scrunched down on himself
with a little snort. Ryo wasn’t having
any of it. His hand on
elbow was now in a death grip. With his
free hand Ryo reached around so quickly that he scattered empty shot glasses as
he grabbed
to look at him.
slowly gave in and brought his eyes up to Ryo’s.
contact, only to pull Dee into an insistent and passionate kiss, holding that
kiss until he could feel
little. “I love you,” Ryo said, leaning
back to give
space, “numb nuts.”
got as far as, “I don’t de-…” before he suddenly found Ryo’s hand clamped firmly
over his mouth. Ryo was shaking his head
emphatically.
“Na unh,” Ryo said.
not deserving me again, weren’t you.”
All
really tired of listening to that load of bull!”
towards him. Ryo took a deep
breath. “Listen, asshole, I – Love –
You, got it? Wholly
and completely. And if anyone
here doesn’t deserve anyone, I don’t deserve you.”
to interrupt until he saw Ryo’s glare.
Ryo started again, “You waited for me to deal with all of my shit 20,
50, 100 times longer than I had any right to expect.
hadn’t, if you had let me lose you?”
Ryo took
face in both of his hands. “Look at us:
passion, love, trust friendship, great sex; everything I thought I would never,
ever know. Things that I thought weren’t
really real.” Ryo caressed one of
like this, isn’t going to change any of that.”
Slower this time Ryo leaned forward and gave
a kiss, deep, passionate and still insistent.
really surrendered then, wrapping both arms around Ryo and returning everything
in that kiss. Ryo kept a strong hold on
Dee’s head long after it was evident that
going anywhere.
After a long time, long after Ryo’s
own mouth tasted more like cigarettes and beer than the Irish coffee he had
been drinking, the two men reluctantly broke off the kiss.
cigarette and stroked Ryo’s shoulder.
After
had had a few good drags on his smoke and another drink of his beer, Ryo said,
“Do you believe me now, numb nuts?”
finally laughed a deep throaty laugh that Ryo could feel through his back.
said, “though some more persuasion could be fun, a lot of fun.”
tighter. “And by the by,”
anything but numb right now.”
Now Ryo really laughed,
something that few people ever heard.
Usually Ryo would just smile; maybe roll his eyes, maybe snicker,
Ryo really laughed it was a surprisingly deep almost uncontrollable chuckle
soft in volume as he struggled for air.
Ryo’s whole body was shaking and
just held Ryo tight and enjoyed the vibrations.
There was an added bonus when the dignified Ryo actually snorted a
couple of times in his attempt to breathe, causing both of them to laugh even
harder.
Eventually they calmed down again
and ordered another round of drinks, both of them getting Irish coffees this
time. While waiting for the drinks,
Ryo was unapologetic. “I had to
stop laughing; I couldn’t breathe,” Ryo said from his place leaning back
against
“But how would biting me
help you stop laughing?”
asked. “You should have bit yourself.”
“But biting you is much more fun,”
Ryo said and twisted his head to look up at
was trying to look down his collar, Ryo asked a little too eagerly, “Did I
leave a mark?”
“Yeah, I think you did, you sick
bastard.”
“Cool,” Ryo said as he pushed the
whipped cream to one side with his spoon so he could take a drink.
as careful with his coffee and ended up with a frothy mustache that Ryo had to
lick off. This caused
to simply take a finger-full of Ryo’s whipped cream to even the score.
They sat quietly for awhile
drinking their coffees, Ryo still tucked against
shoulder. Ryo was wondering if his
boldness would last long enough to pick up a can of Reddy Whip on the way
home. While he really liked the stuff
and knew it was often used by all sorts of couples for all sorts of things, Ryo
was finding he still seemed to have some hang-ups; one of them was crossing
food stuffs with sex aids. Ryo was just
deciding that he wanted to wait on the whipped cream until another night when
“It seemed like an obvious thing to do at the time.”
Ryo twisted his head and saw that
out with
contact between them. Ryo could tell
that Dee was back in thoughts about his past but as
arm was still warm and tender around him, Ryo wasn’t very worried, yet.
Now Ryo looked out on the scene in
a different way. Now he wasn’t the cop
or the detective or even a newly-awakened, somewhat timid gay man.
with a new sympathy and interest. Ryo saw
that the crowd outside was less uniform than he had first thought.
between 16 and 19 but they were now individuals.
lost, more than a few looked higher than a kite; but most of them seemed to be
acting their parts. They were posing as helpless
children or lustful adult wannabes or defiant teenagers; swaggering or
strutting or mincing. And what Ryo
really hadn’t seen before was that most of them were talking and laughing with
their friends while they waited for their ‘dates’.
The customers were much more
uniform: to a man, in their late thirties upward, well-dressed and had the air
of confidence that came with career and financial stability.
for a walk but most of them seemed to know this was pointless and strolled slowly
in a business like manner. The hardest
thing for Ryo to swallow was the fact that it wasn’t just solitary men but
couples and even groups that seemed to be out ‘shopping’ together.
Ryo was much more fascinated by the
different personas, costumes, and strategies employed by the boys.
walkers, sashaying around in see-through mesh shirts, short shorts and fishnets
(a few even having the platform shoes, miniskirts, or boas), would approach
their prospective customers with what had to be the same tired lines seen in a
hundred late-late night movies. Others
seemed to be trying to dress younger then they were and were pointedly acting
shy and staring down a lot. A more
racially diverse group of older boys were all dressed in hip hop fashions and
seemed to be trying to pose like gangsters and act threatening, though not very
effectively. Some boys walked up their
prospective buyers while others tried to lean seductively against walls or
balustrades, while the more jaded ones just sat and waited.
grunted to get Ryo’s attention and pointed with the hand that was still around
Ryo’s shoulder. When Ryo followed that
line to a stoop almost directly across the street he had to catch his
breath. Ryo didn’t need Dee’s mumbled clarification
to know why
out. The youth was halfway up the stairs,
lounging on the steps, listening to headphones and looking like the least-interested
person on the street. He was wearing
well fitting but not overly tight jeans, an everyday t-shirt and a beat-up, not
distressed leather jacket. It was
had said. The kid couldn’t have been 17,
if that.
This kid had spiky blond hair,
narrow but wiry shoulders, and his eyes seemed to be a pale blue from what Ryo
could tell at that distance, but it was
attitude,
trade, he didn’t approach anyone or even make eye contact.
of their way and climb the steps to where he sat.
But as Dee and Ryo watched, that is
exactly what someone did. A very well
but quietly dressed man in his late forties climbed the steps and bent over the
boy. For his part the boy didn’t even remove
his headphones but did seem to fiddle with something at his belt, probably the
volume. There was a brief conversation,
ending with the man pointing down the street before walking away.
leaned back for another minute or so. The
boy levered himself up and, hands stuffed deep in his pockets, headed in the
direction the man had pointed.
Throughout this exchange Ryo could
feel
one beer mug that still had a little in the bottom and lifted it with a shaking
hand.
Ryo couldn’t think of anything to
do except turn all the way towards
his lover and hold on for dear life. Ryo
pressed, as much as rested his head against
shoulder and concentrated on keeping his mouth closed and not doing something
stupid like crying. Ryo felt so out of
his league the two of them could have been from different planets.
After a little while
said when Ryo looked up.
it. Bringing one knee up onto the bench,
grip, into his lap. “I’m okay, sweetheart,”
supply of cigarettes. “That was just
hard. I found myself wishing he wouldn’t
be picked up. I couldn’t stop watching
him and hoping. But I knew better.
turned his head to the window but only looked out it askance, “Well, on a night
like this I would have made a lot of money.”
Ryo just nodded his head against Dee’s shoulder; anyone as sexy as
signaled their waiter for more coffees. “What
I can’t figure out,”
arms on Ryo’s neck while being careful to keep the lit cigarette from Ryo’s
hair, “is why you aren’t freaking out more.”
Ryo looked up with a question in his eyes.
continued, “you are worried about me and all, but this kind of shit… Well I
guess I expected you to have more of a problem with it.
to be a whore?”
Ryo leaned back so he could look
“No?”
couldn’t quite believe this.
“No,” Ryo took one hand from around
Dee’s waist to caress
mean.”
eyes got really big, “What?”
“It was postwar
explained, “not enough food to feed the family, anyhow it’s how she met my
grandfather.”
“Wow,” said
“Yeah, and the best part is
Mc Leans. We’d be having Christmas
dinner or something and grandfather Mac would be getting all high and mighty about
something and obaba would just pipe up, ‘well, when I
was a girl and working at the navy base’.
The best thing is that it would shut up grandpa Mac for the rest of the
holidays.” Ryo leaned back against
Not so much now I have you and Bikky.
Still…”
“I would have liked to meet your
“She would have liked you.”
someone to compare notes with.”
Ryo turned to smile at their waiter
as he brought the drinks. Spooning the
whipped cream into his mouth, Ryo said, “Um, lots of coffee, I won’t be able to
get to sleep tonight.”
“Man,”
sighed, “you’ll look like shit at work tomorrow and everyone who knows us will
blame me.”
“That’s just because they all know
what a stud you are,” Ryo giggled again, this was his third Irish coffee and
they had had wine at dinner.
They were quiet again drinking
their coffees as
subject, “Was it the money?”
“Yeah, mostly,”
answered. “It was also the sex, though,
I mean I was a teenager and if you think I am horny now.
sex and I thought it was amazing that people would give me one in order to give
the other.”
“Weren’t you afraid of getting
caught?” Ryo asked, “After all, you already knew you wanted to be a cop.”
“Yeah I was, though not as much as
I should have been,”
academy and moving out and everything was going to
cost. I mean Mother offered to put up
the money, but every cent she would be giving me, I’d be literally taking it
out of the mouths and off of the backs of the younger kids.”
“That makes sense.
sudden wealth if not your staying out to all hours?”
“Yeah, I think she did.
sighed again, “even when she shouldn’t have.”
“Nah,” Ryo said, “she just knew you
would turn out ok, and she was right.”
“Yeah, sure.”
“No, she’s told me so, many
times.” Ryo tried to imitate Mother, “‘That
Dee had such a talent for finding new types of trouble to get into.
were. But I could always rest easy
knowing that Dee could get himself back out again if anyone could, and smelling
like a rose, too.’” Ryo pulled up one of
“Well, roses isn’t the first thing that comes to
mind.”
“So, what do I smell like?”
“Um, musk I think.”
cigarettes, the subway, sweat, my fabric softener but mostly, to me, you smell
like Dee; my sexy, musky
“Ryo,”
“let’s get out of here. There’s more we
need to talk about, but not here.”
“Sounds
good to me,” Ryo said, “We’ve gotten what we needed here, and more.”
They left
their server a very big tip and went out to hail a cab.
End Chapter 2