Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

This Black Lamb	By : ChanceXIII Category: Death Note > General Views: 2494 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
This Black Lamb

AU Death Note

L x Raito

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of it�s characters. If I did, Mello would be a girl, since he looks, dresses, and acts like he�s on PMS anyway.

*****

Chapter 1 - Drifting

�This is pointless.�

Raito didn�t bother to keep the scorn out of his voice as he addressed the woman across from him, his arms crossed. He was so sick of the whole charade -every week or month a new person with a new haircut and a new suit, but all with the same fake smile plastered across their faces.

It made him sick. There was no reason to smile. It made him want to yell. Why wouldn�t they stop smiling?

�Really.�

The tone of her voice had his hands curling into fists, his eyes narrowing into a sharp glare. So light, parental, as if she were humoring him in some way. As if he were a child. At nine years old, he supposed he was, but he was an adult in all the ways that counted.

But only at the �real� adults� convenience.

�Why do you say that, Raito-kun?�

Raito�s mouth stretched into an unpleasant grin.

�Let me ask you a question. What makes you so different?�

�Excuse me?� He watched big, brown eyes blink behind a frameless pair of glasses, the latest style. His parents were probably paying for the matching sunglasses and case right now.

�I�m asking you what makes you so goddamn special.�

�Well�I- I�� That was the thing about therapists, Raito decided. They were perfectly comfortable with listening to sob stories and handing down advice, but as soon as you asked them a legitimate question, they crumbled under the pressure.

�Perhaps an explanation is in order.� Raito leaned forward intently, as if speaking to a small child. �You have taken this job despite the fact that it required entrance into a different country, you�re being paid less than half of your usual salary, and you have to put up with my shit. True?�

�W-well, yes, but I don�t think-�

�My point exactly.� Raito leaned back, crossing his legs elegantly. �Despite the fact that I have already gone through at least�� He did a quick calculation in his head. ��eleven therapists in the last few years, with admittance from all of absolutely NO success, you have ignored all obstacles to attempt an illogical task for illogical reasons. What I�m asking is why. What makes you so much better than all the others who have tried, that you think this is going to amount to anything?�

The woman- he wasn�t even going to bother to learn her name- seemed to have regained some of her composure at this point. She was sweating though, Raito thought as he wrinkled his nose.

How unsightly.

�Well, Yagami-kun�� Yagami-kun now, was it? �I�ve always been interested by the more unusual cases, and I do love a good challenge.�

�So nice to know I�m regarded as a �challenge� rather than a person.�

�That�s not what I meant at all, Yagami-kun!�

�Then you should have thought before you said it.� Raito didn�t have any compassion for those who did not think before speaking. Words were a weapon, and were to be used just as carefully for the best results.

�My a-apologies, Yagami-kun.� Oh, he could see how much it irked her to have to apologize to a nine year old, and a patient at that. Almost as much as it irked him to have to be there in the first place.

�Accepted. Now, if you don�t mind, I�d like an answer to my question.�

She opened her mouth to reply, before closing it again, looking at him closely. Good, his words had hit a nerve. She was actually thinking over her next sentence. Maybe it wouldn�t be too stupid to reply to.

But he wasn�t betting on it.

�I could ask the same thing, Yagami-kun. What makes you think that you have the right to antagonize and ignore others in the manner you do? Why can�t you just get along with people like the rest of the world?�

He was impressed that she had thought to turn his question back on him, but she ruined any ground she might have gained with her over simplification at the end. What a crock. The last thing the rest of the world did was get along. If they ever began to get along, his father would be out of the job.

�It�s simple really.� He would throw her a bone.

�Is it?�

�Yes. I can do as I please, how I please, because I am different.�

�Excuse me, but don�t you think that�s a bit egotistical?�

�Not at all. Simply because its true.� His eyes flew down to the clipboard in her hands. �Undoubtedly you have been going over my files all morning, which are likely still held on that clipboard as we speak. You have seen my test scores, my accomplishments, basically my life from the time I was old enough for the government to record it, and yet you still deny the facts? I am different, and there is nothing egotistical about it.�

�What is egotistical is when you think of yourself as the same.�

�I beg your pardon!� She was indignant, her back straitening as she held the clipboard to her body defensively. �I sincerely doubt you have any right to such statements when we have only just met, Yaga-�

�And yet you do. From the second I walked into this room, you have acted as though you know me. As though you could help me. I though I even needed or wanted your help in the first place.�

�The only ego present here, ma�am, is yours, in thinking you would succeed where others have failed. You have no experience, intelligence, theory, anything to back up your decision to come here other than your own arrogance. Now you are being faced with that, and I have no doubt that you will stew in this confrontation, so to speak, for a long time to come.�

Raito paused for a moment, glancing at the clock. Forty-six minutes left before the hour was up. He let out a small, aggravated sigh before adding in an absentminded manner, �After, of course, you cancel any future sessions scheduled between us.�

He could hear small noises of anger, humiliation, and what he assumed was self-pity. It took a few tries, but she finally controlled herself enough to speak. �Perhaps you were right at the beginning, Yagami-kun. This is� pointless.�

�Of course I was right.� Raito said without a moment of hesitation or doubt.

�I always am.�

*****

�Have a nice day at school, Raito dear!�

�Yes, mother.�

�And don�t forget to show me your scores when you get home!�

�Of course.�

Raito didn�t look back as he walked down the street, despite knowing that his mother was waving goodbye. He kept his chin up, looked straight in front of him, and walked to school. He had seen everything there was to see on the same path he always took, so what was the point in looking?

�Ni-san!�

Raito paused in his steady trek, turning around to see Sayu running toward him, a grin splitting her face in half. Raito�s eyes were immediately drawn to the right shoelace, which was undone, the strand of hair that had escaped her ponytail, and the smudge of lip gloss at the corner of her mouth.

He waited till she was bent over beside him, catching her breath, before he responded.

�Yes, Sayu?�

�Ni-san, Lina-chan and I want to go to a movie tonight, but we aren�t allowed to be out so late without a grownup. Mom says it would be okay if you came with us instead, and I�m sure Lina-chan�s mom would say yes. Will you? Please? With sugar on top?�

Would he go to a movie with his silly, stupid little sister and her obnoxious little friend, a movie that was undoubtedly warm and fuzzy with no plot whatsoever, just to listen to them giggle and aw and flirt all night, while he did his best to act and pretend as though he wasn�t there?

�Of course, Sayu.�

�Thank you, ni-san! You�re the best!�

Yes, he was, he thought as he pointed out the untied shoe, waiting as she bent down and tied a sloppy bow.

I�m always the best, he knew as he tucked the strand of hair behind her ear, using his thumb to wipe away the smudge of lip gloss.

I�m the perfect student. I�m the perfect son. I�m the perfect big brother, he declared silently as he watched Sayu run off towards school, her shoelace already undone and the strand of hair falling back into her eyes.

I hate you. He decided with utmost certainty, clenching his hands into fists, his knuckles turning white.

*****

He stood there and took it as his mother removed his coat from the hanger, holding it out for him to slip into as if he couldn�t do it himself. He stuck in one arm, then the other, before his mother came around and slowly began to fasten the buttons up the front.

He ignored the unhappy look on her face. She didn�t have any right to it. He was the one that had to go, and she was the one who was making him.

But he bit his tongue as she finished, taking a warm wool hat and placing it gently on his head. Putting on the mittens in his pockets, Raito walked over to the door, waiting for his mother to put on her own coat before going out to the car.

Hopping into the passenger seat and strapping on his seatbelt, he didn�t watch as his mother started the engine to the car, or switched it into reverse. He kept his eyes straight ahead, trained on the road, uninterested in anything around him.

He didn�t care.

He didn�t move until they pulled up beside the tall, modern building, and even then it was just to unfasten his seatbelt. He stepped out of the car, waiting for his mother to come take his hand before going in the sliding glass doors. Then it was the elevator, up, and up, and up, till they finally reached the top floor.

Then it was a long hall, two lefts, then a right, before they were in front of the plain wooden door, a sign hung in the middle. They both stopped, the air suddenly tense, before his mother let out a long sigh and bent down next to him.

�I know you don�t want to be here honey, but try to remember, these people are here because they want to help you.�

Raito was silent. After waiting a few moments, his mother let out another quiet sigh, hugging him close before walking back to the elevator. Before she stepped on, she turned back, calling out, �I�ll pick you up in an hour sweetheart. I love you!�

As the elevator doors closed and Raito reached for the handle, he idly wondered how long it had been since he had bothered to say it back.

Stepping inside the room, he was met by a mess of children�s toys strewn about the floor, and a receptionists desk on the opposite wall. Careful to avoid tripping over anything, Raito walked over to the desk, ringing the small silver bell to get the receptionist�s attention.

�Ah, Yagami-kun! I�m sorry, you came in so quietly, I didn�t even notice you were there!�

�Good day, Seichiro-san.�

The middle aged brunette smiled down at him, his eyes crinkling with laugh lines in the corners. Raito didn�t mind Seichiro-san, not like the therapists beyond the doors. He never acted like Raito was any less intelligent than he was, and treated him like an adult. Which was probably why he was still here.

Therapists came and went with Raito�s moods, but Seichiro-san he tolerated enough to keep.

Signing his name in, Raito kept up the idle chatter, finishing his signature with an elegant flourish.

�Oh, Raito-kun, I noticed on your records that it was your birthday today. Congratulations! How old are you now anyway?�

�I�m eleven.� Raito answered as he walked toward his usual room.

*****

Colors were completely pointless, Raito decided as he watched the sky from the classroom window. He should be paying attention to the teacher, he knew, but he had finished the book they were reading last week, and listening to the teacher�s lectures on the material was so tedious.

So he looked at the sky, and how blue it was, how utterly pointless, and decided it was okay. It was more interesting than gray anyway.

Years ago, when he was young and, admittedly, still brilliant, he had thought the world would be so much better if it were in shades of black and white and gray. Colors were illogical, and they got in the way of everything. They only confused people, and the world was so much cleaner and easier to understand without them.

Raito had since realized how much more boring the world would be without them.

But he could forgive himself, for despite his intelligence, he had been young. Children, he believed, no matter how smart, never truly understood the concept of boredom. Their minds were constantly at work, learning and analyzing and making sense of the world around them.

It was only when they had gotten all the basics down that they realized how uninteresting they were in the first place. Raito supposed it was this realization that had given him a new appreciation of color, since it was a bit less dull than everything else.

Still, there was one point his younger self had had right. People were so annoying in the way they could never pick one shade, one color, and stick with it. Always changing, so indecisive, always changing their minds. Just scuttling through life, constantly letting it warp them and distort them until they had no idea who they were in the first place.

Like little insects on the sidewalk, running around with no point or place to go.

Not Raito though. No matter what they saw, they only saw the outside. They wouldn�t, couldn�t change him, despite it all. They�d tried, and they�d failed, and that was all that mattered.

He remained, as ever, unmoved.

White. Pure. Perfe-

He was torn from his thoughts as he watched a notebook of the deepest, most unrepentant black he had ever seen fall from the sky.

*****

�Daddy, why do people do bad things?�

Raito looked up at his sisters question, curious despite himself at what answer his father would think up for that little bomb. From the look on Soichiro Yagami�s face, he almost would have preferred if Sayu had asked where babies came from.

At least with that one it was easy to think up a lie.

�Ah� where did this come from, Sayu?�

Raito watched as the little girl sat up, her forehead wrinkling as she thought hard. �Today at school Ami-chan borrowed one of Saki-chan�s pencils, and then forgot to give it back. A few minutes before school got out, Saki-chan asked for it back, and Ami-chan got mad and broke the pencil. I just� don�t understand why. I mean, it was Saki-chan�s pencil and Ami-chan had promised to give it back, so why did she get mad?�

�That�s a very good question, dear.�

No kidding, thought Raito. The thing is, how are you going to answer it?

�And I�m going to be as honest as possible. I don�t know why people do bad things. I don�t think anybody does, sweetheart.�

Sayu looked confused, not that that was any surprise. �But then, what am I supposed to do tomorrow at school?�

�Well� I would say, if Ami-chan says she�s sorry, to forgive her, and tell Saki-chan to do the same. After all, there will be some time in your, Saki-chan�s, and everyone else�s life when they do something bad. And all we can do afterward is say we�re sorry, and hope we�re forgiven in return.�

�Okay, daddy.�

�Good girl.�

Raito snorted.

More like dumb one.

*****

Ryuk was, in a word, bored.

He�d been sitting up on the same rock for two days, staring at the same scenery that had always been there, and always would be.

Sometimes he wondered if immortality was all it was cracked up to be. Certainly not if you lived in this world, where nothing would ever change. Just the same old thing, day after day. A world as rotten as the apples that grew in it.

�Hey Ryuk, you still up there? Come and play a round with us, not like you�ve got anything better to do!� Irritating chuckles rang through the wasteland as Gukku laughed at his own joke. Eventually Deridovely, his gambling partner, joined in with him, more for the fact that he had just won the last round of gambling than from any real amusement.

�What for?� Ryuk asked, jumping down from his perch anyway. �Not like I�ll win anything. You know when you gamble, you�re supposed to be gambling for something, right?�

The two sitting Shinigami looked at each other for a moment, the idea never having occurred to them before.

�But� we ain�t got nothing. What would we gamble with?�

�I don�t know�� Ryuk said as he sat down, folding long limbs into a manageable position.

Suddenly an idea occurred to him. A wicked, dishonest, but fun idea. He could get into so much trouble for this, though technically it wasn�t breaking any of the rules. He was too bored to care in either case. So what if he broke the rules?

What were they gonna do to him? He was already bored to death. Punishment might be a mercy compared to constant monotony.

�How about� we gamble for our Death Notes?�

*****

The human whose name is written in this note shall die.

Well.

All and all, Raito couldn�t help but think that was rather macabre, in a funny kind of way. Then again, he had always had a rather morbid sense of humor.

He shut the notebook with a snap, carefully slipping it into his bag and beginning the walk home. Very macabre, disturbing, unconventional, and all around his style. What the hell, it was interesting enough to take a closer look at.

Opening the front door of his house, he was immediately greeted by the smiling visage of his mother, seemingly expectant. Without a pause, he handed over his test scores, ignoring the admiring exclamations. It was no different than any year before, nothing to get excited over.

Ten minutes later, he was laying on his bed, glancing over at the notebook in speculation. It was pretty complex for a stupid prank, and for some strange reason�

�he had the strongest urge to try the damn thing out.

As soon as that thought had made it through his head, he found himself at his desk, pen out and ready to write a name on the paper. He paused at the last moment though.

What was he doing? What if, for some inexplicable reason, someone actually died?

So� why not choose someone who deserves to die, a frantic voice in his head thought. Why not kill someone the world would be better off without anyway?

Raito�s hand twitched toward the remote, ready to turn it on and find a person it would be alright to kill. Before he stopped.

That was so�

Stupid. Pointless. Utterly illogical.

He put the pen down, closed the notebook, and walked back over to his bed. What was he, God? Well, as close to it as any human was going to get, that was for sure, but still. Someone the world would be better off without?

That implied that Raito gave a damn about the world in the first place.

No, he decided, even if this �Death Note� was real, he had no reason to use it. And even if it did work, and he did have a reason to use it�

He couldn�t think of a single person worth killing in the first place.

He�d rather lay down on his bed, look out the window at the sky, and think.

Because even if he didn�t use this notebook, it opened up a whole new world of possibilities.

*****

Ryuk crept to the entrance to the human world as best he could, despite the fact that there were no other Shinigami for miles around. He had to be careful, after all, it wasn�t often you saw a Shinigami sneaking around with three Death Notes in it�s possession.

Well, sort of, Ryuk thought sourly.

The Death Notes were only his for a week, and technically they weren�t even his. He was only carrying them around for the time being. Thanks to the babies he had decided to gamble with.

�O-our Death Notes? But Ryuk� w-we need those!�

�Oh come on, the point of gambling is to take a few risks.�

�I don�t know��

�Surely you�re not that close to the end of the years you�ve saved up?�

�Well, no��

�But still, we�ll need them eventually, and they won�t work for us if they belong to you!�

�Yeah!�

�Fine� how about� on temporary terms then?�

�Temporary?�

�Meaning, whoever wins won�t own the Death Notes, but will hold on to them for a certain amount of time?�

�Well��

�That won�t hurt anything, since it will still be your Death Note and you�ll get it back after a while.�

�I suppose��

�One week.�

�Huh?�

�One week Ryuk. That�s how long the winner will get to hold the others� Death Notes, one week.�

�But that�s so short!�

�So? Why would the amount of time need to be long?�

�Yeah, what�s the deal Ryuk? Why would you need them a long time unless you�re going to do something with them?�

�Are you planning to do something with them?�

�D-don�t be ridiculous guys! What would I do with them anyway? I just thought the stakes should be a little higher is all� are we gonna play or what?�

Ryuk supposed he should at least be thankful that he had won, hands down. And they had handed over their Death Notes, no further questions asked. It was funny though, not a day went by that he didn�t see those two gambling sometime or another.

You�d think after a near eternity of practice they could win one game. As it was, they both sucked. Ryuk hadn�t even had to try.

He finally made it to the portal to the human world, crouching down beside the hole. Laying out the three Death Notes in his (sort-of) possession in a straight line. He had to be quick and neat about this. It was only a matter of time before someone came back.

He quickly wrote out the instructions for using the Death Notes in all the books, even labeling the covers so the humans would know what to call them. Looking over his work, he finally nodded in satisfaction, picking up Gukku�s Death Note in one hand, and Deridovely�s in the other. Standing up, he spun around a few times to make himself dizzy�

�before walking over to the hole to the human realm and dropping both Death Notes in. His eyes were too unfocused to see where exactly the books landed, but that was part of the fun. It was only too bad they wouldn�t land too far away from each other, probably in the same country even. Just because of the way the Earth happened to be turned at the time. Bah. Stupid human realm.

But he supposed it would suck worse if one or both landed in the ocean. Gukku and Deridovely were already gonna kill him when they found out what he had done. They should be thanking him for making their lives a bit more interesting, now that they had to go down to the human world to get their notes back. Perhaps they�d even like it.

Ryuk bent over, picking up the last Death Note, his own. Holding it precariously between two fingers, dangling it over the hole, he considered whether he should drop it or not. After all, he could watch what the other two idiots got up to from here, and it was the only Death Note he had.

Nah. He may as well keep it, just to be safe. Holding it aloft for a few more seconds, Ryuk was just about to pull it back and fasten it back in his belt-

�Whatcha doing Ryuk? Huh?�

Ryuk jumped, his entire body doing a three sixty at the voice from behind him. Upon turning around, he came face to face with Zellogi, nearly getting a face full of feathers in the process. What was he doing here anyway?

�Nothing�� Damn, of course he had to be caught by this guy� always asking questions, way too curious for any real Shinigami. He nearly cursed as the other Death God�s eyes moved past Ryuk to the portal, and nearly panicked when a shocked look crossed his face. Had he figured it out? Was he going to tell the others? This wasn�t fair, Ryuk had only been trying to have a bit of fun-

�Ryuk, isn�t that your Death Note?�

�

What?

Turning sharply, Ryuk peered into the world hole, only to see a small, fluttering speck of black growing increasingly smaller. He didn�t snap out of his dazed state until the other spoke again.

Or rather, laughed.

Ryuk started to sweat as he felt the beginnings of anxiety. Oh, this wasn�t good. His Death Note was down on Earth, and that was not good. He couldn�t care less about the others, but this was his hide on the line now. And no matter how bored he was, it didn�t mean he wanted to die.

He didn�t realize he was twisting himself up into knots until the other�s startled exclamation.

�Whoa! Ryuk, are you okay?�

Ryuk had a sudden appreciation for what humans liked to call sarcasm.

�Yes. I�m just great. Just wonderful. Just peachy. Just��

He paused for a moment, searching for the right word.

��Perfect.�

*****

A/N: Wow. Oo The next chapter out in two days. I think that's a record for me. Then again, I've been sick and confined to bed, and really have nothing better to do. Boredom really is a good motivator.

Now, I'm giving my special, super-sparkly thanks to Nilahxapiel for beta-ing this for me, despite the document formatting issues we had in the process. You have no idea how much I appreciate it! TTxTT Why can't computers just choose a format and stick with it anyway? Makes no sense... Ugh...

Anyway, introduction of the Death Note into the story at this point. Yay! And not just one or two, but three! (For now... hehehehe... >3) Okay, I'm just gonna ask because I'm really curious, but I want to know who people think are gonna pick up the Deathnotes (other than Raito, obviously), and what their going to do with them when they get them. After all, I want to know if I'm that obvious... (grumble, mumble, grumble...)

Bah, enough of that, you guys are probably sick of my whining already. XD Anyway, as always, reviews are loved and cherished as if they were my own children, but there's no obligation. If it's not good enough to get reviews on its own merit, I'm obviously not trying hard enough! -Evil laugh-

I've gotta go barf now, so yeah. Enjoy the story! Oh, and don't ask me what I have planned for it. Cause in all honesty...

I don't. Oo -cricket chip- I believe I have just the vaguest idea of where I'm going with this, like a drunk driver has the vaguest idea there's a tree in the way.

TTFL! (Now that I look back, it occurs to me that Tigger sounds really gay... am I alone in that?)

1

2

3

You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

This Black Lamb