The Silent Place

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.

AN: W00t chapter one. We haz pl0t! I originally was going to wait the week to post this but I had already edited this (and there is going to be a huge storm or something for the next three days so I'm sure I'll be swamped at work and too tired to post)

Suggested Listening: Perfectly Die by Bed Destroyers; Mosh N' Church by The Used

Chapter One: Call

Mello hadn't recalled falling asleep, but as his mind rose to full awakening he registered with certainty that it hadn't been too long ago, probably only a few short hours, if that. But as he lay there, silent in his hope to fall back asleep, he was made aware that what woke him wasn't quite his usual demons and general sleeplessness.

Something nagged at his brain and was causing his thoughts to race more than usual, which had resulted in his waking up; but he couldn't quite pick out what it was. He tried, for another ten full minutes, before inwardly cursing in defeat.

There would be no more sleep that night. Though as he glanced at the clock he registered that he'd gotten a solid four hours, which was forty minutes better than the night before. Which was something, at any rate.

Quietly, so as to let Matt continue to sleep, as he knew the redhead had only gone to bed a short while ago, the illuminated Gameboy screen attesting to that, he slid the covers off his tired body.

He moved off the bed but stilled as Matt rolled over and his name spilled from his lips. "Mihael..." his voice was soft, almost a sad sounding sigh, and sleep mused. He stared at Matt's face but it soon became evident that he was still asleep. Smiling slightly, Mello left the bedroom and closed the door behind himself.

He yawned, as he switched the kitchen lights on, and inwardly grumbled at the time that the stove clock read. Just eleven minutes after one o'clock. Wonderful.

On the upside, he mused, as he readied a pot of strong coffee from the new can, that he had at least managed to keep Matt asleep. Matt, as of the last six months or so, seemed to have become acutely aware of his sleepless habits and had taken to waking at the slightest movement.

And despite how tired Matt was on the nights he woke, he would generally join him even if all they did was sip coffee in silence. But Mello knew that Matt couldn't keep up with that kind of sleeplessness, hell he couldn't even keep up with it.

Worrying his lip slightly he switched on the coffee maker and leaned slightly on the counter, his eyes sluggishly roamed across the room and its surfaces. He eventually eyed the corner that the front door was hidden behind and wondered, just when exactly, Matt's gourmet coffee would get there.

He would never admit it to Matt, as he could practically see the smug grin that would stretch his boyfriend's lips, but he had become rather fond of the redheads choice in coffee.

He leaned further against the counter, head tilting back, as he felt the familiar tug just behind his eye sockets. He knew it was the beginnings of another headache, and really it wasn't all that surprising with his lack of sleep.

The coffee maker beeped, pulling him from his drifting thoughts, and he pulled out a mug and fixed himself a cup. Though this time it consisted more of actual coffee than chocolate, as Mello knew he needed the caffeine more.

Silently, despite being far enough away from the bedroom that noise shouldn't bother Matt, he headed to the living room and after a moments finagling, curled up on the puffed up arm chair with a blanket across his lap. Halfway through the coffee, his thoughts began to nag at him again, though he still could not pick out what it was that actually bothered him.

His fingers curled more harshly around the mug and he wondered if it had anything to do with the incident that morning, or rather, previous morning. He brought the cup closer to his face and sighed heavily.

He had tried not to think on it, as his paranoia was almost worse than it had back when he'd been in the mafia, but the more he rewound the events, the more something seemed... wrong. Usually he was able to rationalize his paranoia and find something in his memories that set it off, but there really was nothing this time.

He leaned back, and after balancing the coffee cup on the chairs arm, pulled the blanket further up so that it rested on his chest. He titled his head to the side and closed his eyes against the faint glow of light that spilled from the kitchen.

It was only sometime later, at the sound of rapid typing, did he wake in complete surprise to find that he had managed to fall back asleep.

He blinked rapidly as the typing stopped and something warm was thrust into his hand. The sweet aroma of his chocolate coffee swirled up to him and he looked questioningly up at Matt.

"For the past hour you have been twitching, which usually means you'll wake soon. I already had coffee on and knew you would probably want another cup." Matt told him; the soft tug at the corner of Matt's lips let him know that he was amused.

"Thank you." he muttered and sipped at the coffee, which was still hot. Matt kissed his cheek before he went back to his laptop, which had been teetering precariously on the edge of the couch.

As he slowly woke, for the second time that day, his eyes swiveled to the wall clock across the room. His eyes widened at the time, it being that of nearly noon. He had slept for quite some time after his initial nighttime wandering.

"Hey Mello, I'm starving so I'm going to pick us something up at the deli, any preferences?" Matt's voice broke through the fog of waking and he couldn't answer as a yawn ripped its way passed his mouth.

Matt shook his head with a soft laugh. "Right, that was stupid of me. You're not awake enough to know what you want other than coffee."

He stared at Matt and honestly couldn't decide whether or not to be offended so he settled with sipping at the coffee instead, though he supposed he'd just proved Matt's point. He knew that by the time Matt left, or came back, he would be hungry. But until then...

Matt went back to his typing for a moment before he closed the lid and set the machine on the coffee table. He stretched, shirt ridding up to expose the pale skin of his stomach and Mello had to wonder if Matt had always been that pale, or if it was from years of staying indoors.

He couldn't remember.

Matt left the room and wandered off in the direction of their bedroom, presumably to fetch his wallet or something, when Mello heard a soft buzzing sound, like that of his phone. He wearily unfolded his aching legs and stumbled over the fallen blanket before setting the coffee mug onto the counter to pick his phone up, which had been on the kitchen counter.

The number on the screen only said unknown, which made him uneasy. There were only two people who knew his number, Matt and Jasper. The same applied to Matt's phone, only replacing himself as the other.

He let it ring one more time before he answered. He waited for the person to say something, as they had to have realized that the phone had been picked up, and he refused to be the one to say something first as a general rule of caution.

But all he could hear was soft breathing, something that bordered on laughter. He felt fear coil in his belly and harshly shut the phone as Matt walked into the kitchen.

"Something up?" Matt asked quizzically.

"Not really." he told him, though his own voice seemed too restricted for that to be true. He left the phone on the counter and picked up the mug to rinse it out in the sink, as though there was absolutely nothing wrong, as though his heart wasn't pounding uncomfortably hard in his chest.

He tried to appear as though it was nothing... because it could have been nothing. Though he knew he was just in denial. Too much had happened in his life for it not to have been something...

He glanced at Matt, who had that weary look in his eyes, that look that said he knew Mello was hiding something but didn't want to call him out on it. Mello wasn't sure what bothered him more. The fact that Matt could tell he was lying, or the fact that Matt let it go.

"I'll be back soon." Matt called to him, already heading for the door. Mello winced at the tone, which had been chipped and something that bordered on hurt. He opened his mouth to say something, but Matt had already walked out and closed the door after himself.

He dried his hand with a sigh and gently flopped back into the plush armchair the moment he reentered the living room.

His mind instantly attacked the phone call he'd just received. It could have been a wrong number, though that was highly doubtful as he person hadn't even said a word. A prank? There were people who did those sorts of things; however, their phones were protected against such things.

Or should have been.

All numbers that weren't programmed into the phone, or that they hadn't called, should be filtered out. Matt had set it up himself, and he had all the faith in the redhead.

So what was it?

He didn't know how long he'd sat there mulling over what little information he had to go on, as he could only guess, before the door opened and Matt walked through with a large paper bag cradled in his arms.

Mello could just make out the tops of the foil wrapped subs and felt his stomach grumble.

Matt walked passed him without a word and he instantly felt guilt coil in his stomach. He knew it was his fault that Matt was acting more than slightly put off. And it meant that it had really gotten under the redheads skin as Matt rarely showed his irritation anymore; which again, Mello knew was his fault, as Matt never wanted to appear frustrated in front of him, even when Mello knew he had every right to.

He walked over to Matt, who was in the process of taking out the subs as well as a small container of red potato salad, and hesitantly, almost shyly, pulled him into a kiss. He felt Matt instantly relax against him and after a moment broke away.

"Thank you." he murmured, lips still hovering by Matt's mouth. He knew that Matt must wonder what had gotten into him, as the redhead never got that much affection from him in a week never mind that much in under two days, and hoped Matt wouldn't read too much into it.

Mello quickly shoved the rising guilt to the back of his mind as it wouldn't help the situation. He bit his lip and at the tiny smile Matt gave him, resolved to fix his issues as it wasn't fair to either of them.

He knew that if he were to pull those goggles away from Matt's eyes that he would see longing in them, and despite the fact that he moved away from him, Mello wanted nothing more than to stay close. But the slight feeling of anxiety, only occurring when he was too close to someone for longer than a few seconds, won out.

"Come on, let's eat." Matt said while he handed a sub to Mello as he brought his own and the red potato salad to the small kitchen table off to the corner.

There was silence as they ate, but for once Mello found that it wasn't entirely uncomfortable. He hoped that it could stay that way, even if only for a few more hours.

Matt cleared the table when they were finished as Mello fished a bottle of pomegranate blueberry juice from the refrigerator. He didn't usually drink juice, but every once and a while he got a craving for it. It was actually really good despite the odd flavor coupling.

He took the small bottle with him into the living room with him and turned on the television as Matt had gone back to his laptop. He wondered if Matt was working on a case or a hack job, as it certainly monopolized a lot of his time.

He could usually tell when Matt was working on something and when he was just playing around on his games, and something certainly had the gamer's attention for the past while. He sighed softly and seated himself on the other end of the couch and leaned back to get more comfortable.

There was nothing on to watch, that or his mind was simply not in a state to find the entirely too predictable movies and daytime dramas worth it. He wondered if he should pick up another case...

It had been a while since he'd had anything of the sort to do, though he was at fault for that. He just hadn't been in the right state of mind, far too absorbed in himself, to deal with murders and the like; and simple thefts had never held his attention.

He wondered if any case would be able to hold his attention long enough for him to finish it... so perhaps it was simply easier not to do anything. But that, once again, left him feeling antsy and useless.

Never had he felt the need to do absolutely nothing and yet everything at the same time. He knew that it was only a matter of time before it all built up too much and he would be forced to choose something or drive himself crazy from sheer boredom.

But the fact that he even felt the need, the desire, to do something more than he was, was a good sign. For far too long had he been stuck in a kind of limbo, living but not really living at the same time.

He supposed the start of his anxious behavior had been months ago when he had broken his self imposed shut in and gone to the store with Matt. Though it had taken entirely too long, in his opinion, to get even that far.

He sighed and he watched idly as someone's supposedly long dead sister shot her ex-boyfriend in the back on the soap that had come on. He rolled his eyes irritably at the complete absurdity of it. Real life was so much more interesting and horrible than anything on television could possibly come up with.

Though that merely reminded him of his near celebrity status. Mostly everyone knew what he looked like because of the broadcasts, though it was still under large speculation whether or not he had actually survived. It had been reported he had died, due to L's interference in the matter, though he knew that most people had reservations about that announcement.

And rightly so, as he was quite well and alive.

"Mello." he turned to Matt who had called him.

"You've been staring unblinking at the TV for the last ten minutes." Matt didn't sound annoyed, or even really concerned, as much as mildly curious. He could also pick out the second question that hadn't been voiced. Is there something on your mind? Though he knew Matt didn't expect an answer.

"Just... thinking." he stated and though Matt's eyebrows had risen, he hadn't commented any further.

"If you're bored you can go over the case I finished yesterday and see if I missed anything." Matt said and though he no longer was looking at him Mello knew all his attention was still on him.

Matt always asked him that same question, and yet he never took him up on the offer. He knew Matt didn't actually have any need of the help, but it seemed that Matt knew he was bored, as he always asked regardless of the answer he received.

"Did you send it to my e-mail?" his question caused Matt to look at him again, and he knew Matt hadn't expected the question.

"No, but by the time you get your laptop it will be there."

He took the hint for what it was and wandered back into the bedroom to grab his laptop which was generally unused these days. He wondered if Matt could sense it, as he could, that something was changing...

It was a bit harder to type using only one hand, and he was rather clumsy at it, but not enough that it slowed him too much. As he read over the documents he knew he'd been right, that Matt hadn't really needed his help, but it had given him something to do other than stare haplessly at the television.

He read over Matt's notes on the case and noticed that they approached the crimes in different ways, as they generally had never really worked on cases together, and yet still came about the same answers, just in a different amount of time.

When Matt applied himself, he was brilliant.

The problem was that Matt had no real motivation concerning things, never had; though Mello had to wonder if he'd been the start of that as Matt had hidden the true extent of his capabilities while at Wammys.

He pushed those thoughts away, as they really didn't matter anymore, and continued to read the rest of the case file to make sure he had missed nothing. And once he was satisfied that everything was in order he meticulously wrote out his thoughts on the case and the places Matt could have gone in more detail for the authorities. He had a feeling that had merely been pure laziness on Matt's part.

He felt slightly less stir crazy, though he had no desire to actually leave the flat, as he finished things and sent them to Matt. It had taken just enough of his attention to ease things. He stretched slightly and shifted his position on the couch ever so slightly but stilled as he saw Matt pause in his typing.

He knew Matt would be looking over the e-mail he'd sent him and was rewarded with a large grin a few minutes later. "I think I'll use some of that in my report to them. You certainly haven't gotten rusty."

He almost smiled at that. It was good to know that his mind hadn't dulled despite the perpetual nothing he'd been doing the last two years.

"Mello why don't you go take a shower while I get started on dinner." Matt suggested while he saved whatever he'd been working on and closed the laptop. Mello blinked and titled his head to the side in question, though he realized that he didn't do that all that often anymore.

He didn't do a lot of things anymore. His expression darkened for a moment at the thought.

"You made dinner last night so I believe it's my turn." Matt told him as he shifted onto his feet and gently took the laptop from Mello's lap to rest it on the coffee table. Mello had to wonder if cooking dinner wasn't more of a 'thank you' for the past few peaceful days.

He knew he was generally unpleasant to live with, and more screwed up in the head than usual, but Matt had never even suggested living elsewhere or taking a break from him. And it was rare for so many days to pass without him getting into one of his 'moods' as Matt had put it once, back in the early days.

"Alright. Just don't make pasta again, I've had enough of that for a while." though that was mainly his own fault as it was generally an easy meal, and Matt seemed to understand if the small, yet stifled, laugh was anything to go by.

He heaved himself from the couch, ignoring the way Matt had flinched in his direction for an instant to help him, and walked to the bedroom to nab a spare change of clothes. Though they were nothing more than boxers, sweatpants and a t-shirt.

He only wore leather if he was going out for something, as if was a bit difficult getting into it with only one hand...

He sighed quietly and closed the bathroom door with a kick of his foot. He dropped the clothes onto the counter and turned the water on. He stepped under the water and let his hair get wet.

He knew things could have been worse; he could have lost a leg, or even his entire arm rather than just his hand. But most of the time it seemed that he dwelled on what he lacked rather than what he had.

Though those times were getting less frequent as time went by. It just seemed to take too long for it to happen though.

He squirted shampoo into his hair and was glad that I had long since been cut back to its previous length, though the locks were still jagged and in no semblance of a straight line.

He quickly finished washing himself and stepped out onto the black bathroom mat, dripping wet. He toweled himself as dry as he could, though his hair still dripped slightly, the small beads of water left to slide down his body.

He moved his hand across the fogged mirror until his body became visible. He stared, searchingly, at the scars and the burns, of those that he could immediately see, that littered his torso.

How the hell could Matt stand to look at those?

Every time he allowed Matt in the shower with him, or he was caught shirtless Matt's eyes were always trained on him, though the redhead's expression never gave away his thoughts during those moments.

Mello had to wonder.... did Matt see him, or the scars...?

He tore his gaze from the mirror and began to dress himself. He doubted he would ever ask... and if he did... would he be able to live with the answer?

-End Call-

AN: so there we have the first chapter. And an emo wreck Mello. Just a hint of plot... but don't worry next chapter should have a larger dose.