The Spring Of Drowned Thief

Prince of the Musk

The night seemed to go on forever as the three trudged through the cold wilderness. Kyva was producing his fog again, causing every thing to feel a few degrees cooler. Cologne had woken up and tried to have at him again, but he tied her to his back like a baby. He also carried the burden of Ryouga, whom had also woken up around the same time as Cologne. He noticed that his leg was feeling a world of difference better then it did before, however walking on it was still defiantly out of the question. Ukyo and Hikaru found out pretty quickly that Kyva was not exactly a man of his word when he made promises, but at least the surprise training sessions weren’t as graphic as the first one. Normally he would do something that would make every one look away like pointing at something that didn’t exist and then disappear while they all had their heads turned. With out a sound he’d come flying out of the trees and lay out an attack which usually gave big bruises and then disappear into the darkness again waiting for someone to come in close so he could attack again. The idea behind his training wasn’t to try and attack him before he attacked you, but to use your head and figure out how to make sure he couldn’t attack you without blowing his cover first. It took a while at first for them but they eventually figured out that if they stood in a circle with their backs to each other and used Ryouga as a point man, then he couldn’t attack with out having to go through a defense first. When they did this Kyva came out of the bushes walking tall with a smile and hands clapping. “Now you idiots are using your heads. Maybe you can amount to something after all. I’ll give you a five minute rest before we start walking again.”

Hikaru was feeling a bit picked on since he had the most attacks on him, so he had to ask when he had the chance. “W-Why did you keep hitting me? My arms hurt like crazy…”

Kyva’s explanation was actually very reasonable. “Well, any one can see that you are the weakest one here. Well, except for Captain Bandanaman at the moment, but I ignored that fact and if I went after him, you guys wouldn’t have done what I wanted you to do. If you are the weakest one in a physical sense, then you should use that to your advantage. If I were in your position then I would have tried my best to get some hair, or skin, or something off of the guy attacking me and applied it to one of your voodoo dolls. I’ve had that happen to me before, believe me it was agonizing and it defiantly showed me my place for a little while.”

“A little while…?” Ukyo asked.

“Yeah, he should have been done with me, but he decided to go all high and mighty on me. Started playing with my pressure points, but after a while the pain doesn’t hurt as much and I ended up sliced the fuckers head off. One of my prouder moments if I do say so myself.”

“You killed him!?”

“Hey, times were tough back then. You kids don’t even know how cushy your lives are right now.”

“Whatever…”

“Right! Break time’s over, girly! Expect one more training session before we get there!”

There were actually three due to big mouths and Cologne was used as a shield on more then one occasion.


It was about three in the morning, every one was exhausted, and it was freezing cold. Upon Hikaru’s soulless trudge he noticed something on the ground and felt need to warn the others. “Hey! I-I found some blood!”

“And a tooth, right?”

Hikaru looked over at Kyva and asked. “Y-yeah. How did you know?”

“That would be my blood, and my tooth.” Kyva proceeded to start snickering while holding his face and looking down.

Ukyo gave an examination of her surroundings and started to look angry. “Hey! We’ve been here before! This is where the first ‘training’ session took place!”

“I was wondering when you morons would catch on.”

Ryouga was on Kyva’s back trying to figure out the most efficient way to kill him. “You mean you knew we were going in circles!?”

“Well, yeah.”

“WHY!?”

“Welcome to training session, number seven. Is there a reason none of you guys checked a compass to see which way I was leading you? I told you we needed to head northwest. Is there a reason you followed someone like me, so blindly?”

A moment of silence, as every one starts to let off steam. Hikaru was the only one that pulled out a compass and slowly started turning towards a northwest direction. “Huh? There’s just a big wall that way? It’s too high for me to climb…”

Kyva dropped Ryouga, fell on his back and started laughing hysterically. Ukyo stood over him and screamed. “WHAT’S SO FUNNY!?”

“I- AHH HA HA HA! I’ve been circling us through the fucking palace garden!” He started laughing hard enough that it made him cough. Ukyo took that moment to savagely beat him down with her spatula.

“AHH!!! I’LL KILL YOU!!!”

“OW! DAMNIT! SHIT! OW! You could have OW! avoided all that training if you just OW! looked at a compass! OW! Damn I’m funny! OW! OW! OW!”

Through his laughs he caught the weapon in mid flight and started shifting his appearances. He once again became tall, dark, muscular, and generally built like brick shit house. His voice stayed that same low raspy ‘wise-guy’ tone as he spoke. “Well, that’s what you guys get for being foolish. Any ways I’ll sneak you guys inside and put you in one of the guest rooms, so you can actually got some sleep before we meet my nephew.”

Ryouga looked up at the shifted form of Kyva and asked the obvious question. “Is that your real form?”

“No, it’s my aunt Doreen, now we just have to wait for a few seconds.”

Ryouga asked another obvious question. “For?”

As if on cue there was a shuffling sound in the bushes and a sleeping woman riding a panda pulling a wagon of other sleeping bodies, with an awake Mousse, quickly coming out. The wagon stopped and Mousse pointed at Kyva. “You!? Kyva right!? How did you get here before us!?”

“I sent you guys on a very round about route, in case you hadn’t noticed. I hope you found my field of traps aggravating.”

Mousse stared at him and spoke slowly. “You ass hole…”

At a second glance Ukyo noticed that every one in the wagon wasn’t so much asleep as they were beaten into unconsciousness. “Oh, my god! What happened!?”

Kuno poked his head up and out of the wagon with a lazy look in his eyes. “Bombs… Arrows… cages… things that flip you up side down and hang you from a tree… it was… it was horrible…”

Kuno slipped back into blackness as a battered Mousse jumped off the cart. “What the hell was all that for!? You said you gave us safe passage!”

“Yeah, I did, didn’t I? However, what I didn’t do was specify when I would do so, which is now of all times. I’ll get you people into the castle and give you an explanation in the morning, now follow me and stay quiet. I don’t want to beat up too many of them.”

Ryouga had to ask a question before they started moving again. “Where did you find the time to set up traps?”

“I told you, it was a round about route. Our tracks actually crossed more then once.”

“You were hated in your time, weren’t you?”

Kyva passed him a large grin and peace sign. “You better believe it, but as abstract as my training is, it is extremely effective.”

“You’re going to kill us before any thing…”

“That’s what every last one of my students said to me.”


A little bit after ten in the morning:

Kyva was leaned up against a door in the palace halls half dozing off, and half awake. Just like most people he found it hard to sleep standing up, but he could in fact do it. The only reason he did was because it would cause him to constantly wake up and nod off again when he realized that the coast was clear. Occasionally someone would pass him by, but not pay much attention. He was taking the form of one of the guards he had tied up in the closet anyways, so he didn’t have much to fear, but it was still good to be cautious. He knew that Ranma was aware of the surroundings all the time and could just wake him up, but old habits die-hard. After discovering that no matter how much he shifted his head the sun would still hit his face, he felt it was high time he woke every one up. He turned and opened the doors, and upon doing so a large ‘CLANG’ sound was heard through out the halls. He shifted back to his original ‘Kyva’ form and held his nose tightly. After squirming on the ground for a few seconds he got up with an angry look on his face and continued to walk in. Ukyo watched him pass by with a scared look in her eyes. “A-aren’t you mad…?”

He turned around, grabbed her, and started shaking her like a rattle. “YES, I’M MAD!!!” Shaking stopped and Kyva started straightening out his clothes. “However, I should have been expecting that, walking in here looking like a Musk. Why are you the only one awake?”

“We’ve been taking turns on watch.”

“We?”

“Akane, Mousse, and I.”

Kyva looked at her for a few seconds while crewing on something. “Well, since I’ve been wasting my time for the last six and a half hours, I think I’ll go talk to Herb. This is going to take a little while so get some more sleep and make the Panda man stand watch.”

“He’ll do that?”

“Tirelessly. I’ll either be back around noon, or when ever I break out of the cell.”

“Huh?”

Kyva turned and started heading towards the main chamber. He was surprised to see the two guards let him in, when he mentioned his name, but it didn’t matter much. It just meant that Parsley did as he was told and for some remote reason, Herb believed him. Kyva slipped in and started heading for the big boy’s chair, all the while talking. “Hey, there kid. What’s happening in your neck of the woods these days? I noticed that you have a lovely garden outside, when did you pick up that hobby? My, these floors are shiny, I’ll tell you what though-“

“Shut up!” Herb got up started moving towards Kyva.

“Aww… Is that how you treat family these days?”

Herb walked right up to the towering man and met his eyes with a fiery look. “Who do you think you are, speaking to me in such a manner? You came here claiming to be my uncle, but there’s no way he’s still alive. He couldn’t live this long. He was of common blood. Who are you!?”

Kyva leaned down into Herb’s gaze and started examining his face. “I remember having a… nephew, not a niece.”

Herb’s eyes widened and she took a step back. “Y-How did you know?”

“I remember having a real rough nephew, the kind of kid that liked to get his hands dirty, but right now you look a little bit ‘angelic’ so-to-speak, much to pretty to be a boy. That and you have cleavage.”

Herb quickly pulled her cape over her chest and her face started to become angry. Kyva kept looking into the girl’s face. “However, the facial structure is a dead match, no question about it, but Herb didn’t have a sister… Hmmm… It’s been a hundred or so years, maybe he had a daughter? No, no, no… She’d look a little bit younger, then again kids these days do seem to strive to look older…”

Herb stomped her foot and made the floor crack. “Stop talking like I’m not here!”

“There’s that loud mouth, arrogant attitude I remember. You didn’t happen to stumble upon a cursed spring did you? So, why’d you do it? Curious? Trying to find the ‘real’ you? Maybe you wanted to see what a set of tits looked like? I haven’t seen too many women around here, you know. Have you guys finally pulled away from that disgusting animal girl, birth cycle? Maybe that’s why there’s so few of you these days.”

“MATRIX ORB!!!”

Kyva took the blast full on in the face and was thrown back against the wall, leaving his impact mark as he fell to the ground. He pushed himself up after a moment and gave Herb a large smile. “I see you’re still using that move of mine.”

“My father taught me this technique! Now tell me who you are, and what you’re doing here. I might let you live if you confess, but since you’re impersonating my family, I might not be too forgiving.”

“You’d think you’d lean to respect your elders after all this time, but you still think you’re hot shit, huh? I didn’t think you’d believe it was really me anyways, but that’s the only answer I can give you.”

“You going to rot in prison for the rest on your life then.” Herb brought her hands up for another matrix orb and that’s when Kyva smiled.

“You better hit me with every thing you’ve got kid, or else I’m going to throw that thing right back at you.”

“If you insist.” Herb powered up his attack and unleashed it upon a kneeling Kyva. Before there was an explosion, Herb’s ki blast stopped right when Kyva opened his arms.

“I told you to throw every thing you’ve got at me. Now pay the price kiddo.” With that said, Kyva let his hand touch the sphere of energy and quickly he started to glow. The blast dissipated into his body and then a green light around him started to glow brightly. “You see kid, me and your dad used to fight a lot, and the matrix orb is a technique he picked up from me, now the form he picked up was the thrown version I made, but this is the melee version of it. Much more accurate, and since I control the flow of energy, it’s much more deadly. The only reason you don’t know it, is because you dad couldn’t figure out how I did it.” The green light started collecting and seemed to be sucked into his chest and as he got up onto his feet it disappeared into his body. “But there’s no point in kicking your ass with it, I guess. I did come here for a request after all, as well as catching up with my favorite nephew, or niece… What ever you prefer these days.”

Herb let her hands drop from the defensive pose she had and gaze Kyva a look. “You can’t be him though… He ran away and died over a hundred years ago… He was the only pure human in the dynasty, he cannot be alive.”

“Hey, shit happens, besides I’m borrowing some one else’s body at the moment, I came back to life a little while back.”

“I find that very hard to believe…”

“You mean you don’t believe in magic?”

“If you put it in such a simple way then, no I don’t.”

“So, tell me. Did you fall into a cursed spring, or have I just been confused about the gender of my nephew?”

“Yes, I fell in…”

“That’s called magic kid, but I’d like to note that it sounds like there’s more to it then just falling in.”

“Stop sounding so friendly with me. If you really are him, then I have no business with you. He ran out of the dynasty, and chose to live as an outcast. He abandoned every on for his greedy needs. He was a damn thief. A thief from the royal line!”

Kyva crossed his arms and leaned against a wall. “I bet your dad told you that. Hell, I don’t even need to wager it, I know he told you that. How about we find a quiet place to sit down and I’ll tell you the real reason I left.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“Then how about you get those two hiding behind the statues to accompany us?”

Herb let her eye twitch and she called the two out. “Mint, Lime! Come with me.” Two young men came out, a small child like one, and tall sturdy looking one. Mint had these weird ears on him, which signaled the wolf, and Lime came out with tiger stripes and fangs.

Kyva gave them both a smile and a quick easement. “Speed and power, huh? Completely useless put together.”

Lime stepped forward. “Show’s what you know! You want some of this!?”

Kyva crossed his arms with a smile on his face. “Don’t bother threatening me, ya little dipshit. Come near me and I’ll tan your ass.”

Lime was getting ready for an attack when Herb waved a hand in front of him. “Stop. I want to hear this guys story and once he’s done I’ll let you tear him apart.”

Kyva snickered beneath his breath before looking back at Herb. “God must have a real sick sense of humor if you knew what I know. Come on, you’re not going to believe some of the things I’m going to tell you.”

“I always remembered him as an unreliable source for the truth…”

“Heh. How about I explain before you make before you make any accusations?”


Once in a small tearoom, Kyva made himself comfy as Lime guarded the door, and Mint stood in the corner juggling knives. “Before I start, can I ask a question kiddo?”

“Stop calling me that.”

“Is there a reason you don’t change back, or are you getting to like your feminine side?”

“I was locked in this form. I’m planning a trip some time in the future to find the Kaisui-fuu.”

“Why? I thought I left that thing here before I left.”

Herb passed him another odd look. “What do you mean? You had it? I thought it was huge.”

“Well, I had a portable version of it. Maybe it got moved during the past hundred year?”

“Where did you put it!?”

“Oh, come on. It’s been a hundred year, someone must have found it by now.”

“But this place has only been cleaned once or twice since father died.”

“You mean this place hasn’t been cleaned for over a hundred year?”

Herb went a bit red. “Well… To an extent…”

“You damn slobs! This is why I ventured out and found a wife! Being married for a week makes you learn how to keep a house clean by any means necessary!”

“Women clean up?”

“No, they make YOU clean up and teach you all about responsibility! Any ways, do you still have the room were all your father’s hunting trophies were kept?”

“Yes.”

“The Bison’s head should come off. I stashed it in there.”

“Why did you stash it?”

“For the soul reason of pissing your dad off. Shall I go get it, or…”

“Mint, go check it out.”

“Yes, sir.” Mint left the room and returned a few moments later with a miniature kettle. “Is this it?”
Kyva took it out of his hands faster then he could react and filled it up water. He flung the water at Herb and quickly the feminine features tightened up and vanished, but the questionable hair stayed the same. Herb quickly got up, turned around and started playing with his pants. After an examination, he did his pants up and turned back with a large smile on his face. “Th-thank you.”

“You shouldn’t be thanking me. You still have the curse.”

Lime smiled. “Oh, good!”

Herb’s eyes tightened up as he passed a glare at Lime. “Shut up! I hate it when you stare at me!”

Lime had a tear in his eye. “I-I know, but… They’re so nice to look at.”

Herb rubbed his head. “Do you really have to be so forward about it!?”

“Aw, damnit kid! Why did you show them? You should have kept that under wraps.”

“Well… They both asked really nicely, so…”

Kyva crossed his arms and stared Herb down. “I really hope you didn’t do a full strip for them…”

“Well, I need my guards present when I bath…”

Kyva’s eyes widened and he leaned in close to Herb. “These guys didn’t… touch you… did they?”

“Well, Lime offered to wash me a while back, when I was feeling sick, so I kind of let him.”

There was a silence present and nobody could really figure out what the problem was. Kyva carried a lazy look as he motioned for Lime to come over to him. He wasn’t too scared because he knew he could cream Kyva. Or so he thought. Kyva opened up with, “Now listen…” and proceeded grab the back of Lime’s head and start smashing his face into the table repeatedly while yelling, “HOW DARE YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY NEPHEW WHILE HE’S IN A WEAKENED STATE!!!”

Herb and Mint grabbed his arms while they tried to calm him down. “No, he was very gentle with me!”

“I BET HE WAS!” Kyva finished with a straight on head blow which left Lime on the ground with bruises and scratches all over. Not nearly as bad as it seemed and no bones were broken, but he laid there moaning in pain for a while trying to figure out what he did wrong. Kyva turned around quickly and grabbed Herb’s shoulders. “He didn’t do anything… strange… did he?”

Herb thought for a few seconds. “Strange how?”

“Like trying to… how do I put this… Stick anything in you?”

“Oh, no nothing like that, he kept washing my chest though, he said there was a big mark on it, but Mint stuck something in me.”

The air in the room whistled as Kyva’s arm shot out and caught the wolf boy before he could fully run away. Mint started struggling to break the iron grip on his shirt, but it failed. With one hand he held Mint high in the air and started shaking him furiously as fire seemed to come out of Kyva’s eyes. “WHAT DID YOU DO YOU DEGENERATE LITTLE PUNK!?”

“IT WAS A THERMOMETER, I SWEAR!”

“OH, IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL IT!?”

“It was a thermometer though, I had a pretty high fever.”

“Oh.” Kyva dropped the now shaking Mint and proceeded to sit down. “I guess you’re off the hook kid.” Kyva turned his head down to Lime. “However, I’m going to need to educate him further after we are done talking. Speaking of which we’re going to need another talk, alone.”

“Huh, why?”

“Because, even after a hundred years, you’re still a brain dead kid! You need to learn a few things about people, that you clearly never picked up.”

Herb’s eye twitched. “Didn’t we come here to talk about something else?”

“Oh, yeah. Were would you like me to start?”

“Why did you come here?”

“As said before I came to ask for a favor. I got a bunch of idiots with me that need to be kept out of danger until I’m done what I need to do. It won’t take any longer then a week.”

“I’ll think about it. When will they be arriving?”

“They’re asleep in one of the guest rooms right now.”

“When did you- never mind… How about the ‘real’ reason you left the Dynasty.”

Kyva let out a chuckle as he sipped some tea. “I never actually left. Your dad kicked me out.”

“Understandable.”

“My brother was a real bastard, you know? I ended up getting myself into a bit of trouble, with some bad people and I made the mistake of thinking he’d help me out.”

“Don’t speak about him like that. Besides, why should he have helped you? From what I remember, you were a real disturbance in the dynasty. You some how managed to make every one hate you.”

“I didn’t make any one hate me. You know why they hated me? It’s because I was the strongest.”

“Father was the strongest.”

“No. He could never beat me, or any one for that matter. Normally it wouldn’t hurt the pride of the Dynasty, but I’m a pure blooded human. The whole idea behind putting animals into the spring of drowned girl was to make them stronger. As it turns out, it did, but I was still this better then them. I won the right to lead our people, but since that wasn’t really my thing, I thought I’d pawn it off onto my older brother. It pissed him off that I just gave it to him and did my own thing.”

“You mean father didn’t want to lead our people?”

“No, he wanted it more then anything. The reason it pissed him off so much was because he was handed to him but his younger half brother.”

“I’ve always known you were half brothers, but-“

“You’re grandmother was human, and she had me after your grandfather died in some war. She was queen and had an affair with a man from outside the dynasty.”

“I see… So who is your father then?”

“Not sure.”

“What?”

“See, that’s exactly what pissed every one else off.”

“So how did you win the leadership? You don’t have any royal blood in you.”

“As I said, your father hated me in every way you can possibly bend the word. We had always fought while I was growing up, and he had always had 300 years of experience over me, but it made him arrogant. One day we managed to really annoy each other and he gave me a formal challenge. It was a death match, and he wanted to be rid of me for good. He said, that if I won, the kingdom would be mine, little did he know, was that I was always pulling my punches. He challenged me the day after your grandmother died. I wasn’t in the best of moods. I’d always loved her with all my heart, but the day I was born, your father lost all respect for her and treated her like trash. I beat him, but never tried to kill him. I wanted to humiliate him, and I did”

Herb crossed his arms and leaned back. “So my point stands. Why should he have helped you with your problem?”

“Because I did all the dirty deeds he needed done. I stole national treasure, pieces of god, and thousands of magical relics that the Musk Dynasty had lost over the years. I constantly tarnished my name to help him, but the day I needed him to deliver, he turned a blind eye my way, and kicked me out for the crimes he had me commit.”

“Well, what was the problem?”

“You may have been too young at the time, but do you remember when this place was in an uproar with a bunch of unwelcome visitors coming from Europe?”

“Vaguely.”

“Your father sent me out to see what they were up too. A few unfortunate events happened and I ended up in their captivity. They tortured me for a long time, but I never told them who I was, or were I came from. One of them found a map I made to guide me home, to my wife and child. I never knew they found it until I woke up one night and saw them hanging from a tree. I was buried up to my neck looking at my dead wife. She was cut to ribbons and my son was bleeding. They cut off four of his fingers before they decided to listen to me spill my guts. I told them every thing and they eventually left. My son… so strong he was to break free and dig me out… I didn’t know what to do for a long time… I bandaged him up and buried my wife… It took me no time to decide what I was going to do… I found a small family that lived near by and had them take care of my son… I told them that If I didn’t come back, then to bring him to the Musk Dynasty. I came back here and begged your father to help me kill them all, and get revenge for my family… You know what that bastard said Herb?”

Herb stared contently and listened. “He said… I don’t wish to help a thug like you with his petty problems. If that whore of a wife of yours got herself killed, I don’t believe there is any way I could possibly care less then I do right now… I got mad and attacked him for showing me such arrogance. I was kicked out and told never to come back. That the Dynasty had no place for a greedy thief such as me.” Kyva took a deep breath and continued. “It took me two days to track down the bastards that killed my wife. I found them at Josenkyo conducting some weird experiments and I slowly killed them all with a grin on my face. When they were all beaten down I started drowning them one by one in a few pools of water I had seen earlier. I drowned the Russian guy last, but before he died, he pulled out a gun and shot me clean through the chest. I didn’t flinch and didn’t even let go until I knew his heart stopped beating. I got up and staggered back, until ironically, I fell into my own pool. The last thoughts I had before I died were of my wife and kid.”

“So what happened to my cousin?”

“I was dead and didn’t know until recently. When I came back I did some research and found out about my family tree. A lot of it was in secret, but I knew it when I saw it.”

“So?”

“He grew up, had a kid, and died.”

“That’s it?”

“Well, one other thing.”

“Which is?”

“This isn’t going to make any sense to you, but the girl with her ear to the door right now, will know exactly what I’m talking about.”

From behind the door to the room there was a thump and the sound of footsteps. Kyva got up and rush out the door pulling Nabiki inside the room. “Thought I didn’t hear you, did you?”

“Yeah, kind of…”

“Here’s a fact that you will find most intriguing Nabiki Tendo. My son took the name of those people I left him with, and do you know what that name was?”

Nabiki stared into Kyva’s ever growing smile and said, “You cannot be serious…”

“His name became Shi-shio Soatome, and he had a son, and his son, had a son, and his son had a son too.”

Herb looked at Kyva funny and said, “I don’t get it.”

Kyva looked back at Herb with that same smile on his face. “This is what I meant when I said, God must have a sick sense of humor.” Kyva shifted into his Ranma form never taking his eyes off of Herb. “I came back in my Great, great, great grandson’s body, and I came back in this body for the soul reason of killing those bastards again. Apparently I put a curse on my family.”

Herb got a confused look on his face. “This is really complicated…”

“Don’t worry about it kiddo, it just means that you’ve got a couple of distant cousins. I brought this up more for her then any one else.”

“Oh, I-“ Herb was cut off when an appalled shriek came from where Nabiki was being held. Kyva looked back and saw that Lime had reached up and had given Nabiki a grope.

“These are very soft, but Prince Herb’s are better.”

Once again Kyva wasted no time, “SLIME!!!” as he reached down fast and grabbed both of Lime’s legs and proceeded to swing him around like a piece of lose string. Lime screamed and yelled for a little while, but he shut up when Kyva swung him up and started using him like a bat against the table. The legs gave away after the third swing and Lime was left lying on the ground, twitching again. “Damn kids need to learn how to respect a lady!”

“Thanks…”

“No problem.”

“That settles it. You’re my uncle for sure…”

“Oh? What brought you to this conclusion?”

“I remember you getting married and one of my fathers guards did the same thing when he saw Aunt Cheryl for the first time and you just did the EXACT same thing to Lime as you did to him.”

“Oh, yeah… She never forgave me for ruining the cake…”

“My father never forgave you for destroying half the temple…”

“Can you let me go now?”

Kyva dropped Nabiki to her feet and sent her off back to the guest room. “Tell, them I’m not in jail yet and I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Nabiki just walked off without a word, but it seemed she’d do it for him. He turned back to Herb and sat down across from him while using Lime as a footstool. “Anyways, have you given any thought as too letting these guys stay for a while, until I clear things up?”

“I’d like to meet them first, I’m not sure about letting any of ‘your’ friends stay here to roam the palace for a week.”

“I want to train them.” Kyva blinked for a second and then he got the same type of headache you get from eating ice cream too fast. “Ow! Damnit kid! Don’t force your way in! I told you that hurts!”

Herb stared at him blankly. “Huh? Force my way in where?”

Kyva gave him a passive wave. “No, not you. That was your cousin speaking just now.”

“Huh? I don’t get it?”

“Don’t you listen? I’m borrowing his body, but I don’t keep full control, so that when I get knocked out or go to sleep, he can take it over again. If he warns me that he wants to control it again, then I can easily avoid this horrible headache, but damn he just shouted that one out. Imagine a really annoying asshole constantly screaming into your ear every time he talks, you know with the screechy voice and smart ass remarks.”

“Is there a way you can both talk at the same time?”

“Yeah, but he’s being a brat right- Do it. OW! You’re not the boss of- Yes I am. OW! Ok, so maybe it’s your body, but you don’t have to be a dick about it! Yes I do. OW! Stop yelling!” Herb gazed in wonder as his uncle seemed to be at war with himself. Kyva’s ears twitched as he heard something. Something that was very quiet to all other ears, except his own. “Stop laughing! I never do that to you when you’re driving… Yeah, you better be sorry… Ok, ok, I’ll split us.” He looked at Herd and Mint quickly, “If I fall over don’t bother picking me up, I’m gonna pull our spirits out.” He let off a soft glow after a few moments and his eyed rolled back as he started falling forward until he hit the ground. The glow he let off stayed in the seat and then it started splitting apart until two figures stood there. Their forms seemed to flicker as they stood there, but their appearance was definite.
Herb pointed at the new figure in front of him and asked. “So, you’re my cousin?”

“A distant one, but yeah. The name’s Ranma.”

“Umm, I’m Prince Herb.”

“I know. I’ve been here the whole time. I’m just going to avoid the awkward silence now and get my friends.”

“Uhh, ok.” With that a semi-transparent Ranma walked off out the door and down the hall with footsteps that made no sound.


‘Aww man… What am I going to say to them…?’

A voice came into Ranma’s thoughts after the question. ‘You shouldn’t be so cold to your cousin you know. Sure he’s a bit slow, but he’s a good kid, anyways about your problem. Why don’t you pretend to be me?’

‘That ain’t gonna work old man, I have to come clean… I’m just worried about Akane…’

‘You shouldn’t be so worried kid. That one would follow you straight to hell and back. Most men dream of a woman like that.’

‘Say what you will, but that’s exactly what I’m afraid of.’

‘As is love.’

‘That was one of the absolute worst placements of the phase I’ve ever heard.’

‘It was an attempt wasn’t it? You should really stop trying to avoid the subject and face it head on.’

‘I’m ignoring you now.’

‘But my nephew is so boring to talk to. He’s an airhead.’

‘Shut up and teach him then.’

‘You say hurtful things, you know that?’

‘…’

‘Kid?’

‘…’

‘Fine!’

Herb sat there looking a bit hurt. “I wanted to talk to my cousin…”

Kyva crossed his arms and walked up the wall and onto the ceiling. “Yeah, he can be a real jerk sometimes.”

“Why are you on my ceiling?”

“Can’t a guy walk on a ceiling once and a while with out getting nagged at!?”

Mint looked over at the Prince. “You have some strange relatives… Can you turn back into a girl now?”

“No!”

Kyva jumped off the ceiling and landed in his seat. “Right! We’re about to have a ‘talk’ you three.” Every one’s eyes, including Lime’s, turned towards Kyva. “You guys get to learn about the birds and the bees.”


Ranma stood outside the door making a motion of tapping his foot. ‘I can’t exactly knock on the door… Oh well…’ He stepped through the door to the other side and came face to face with a panda barking at him. ‘Of all times… Why can’t I hit him…’ The others were awaken by the panda security system and most took note of Ranma immediately. Nabiki was nowhere in the room which caused a surge of irritation to go through him. “Damnit! Where’s Nabiki? I though she was on her way over here.”

Kuno appeared from the floor behind one of the beds in the corner. “Nigh, Nabiki Tendo hath evaded our presence for quite some time now.”

“I see… Probably snooping around… Where’d you guys put Ryouga?” ‘I thought you said, you weren’t going to pretend to be me?’ ‘Just finish your birds and the bees thing, ok? I got a few problems here.’ ‘Just trying to lighten your mood.’

Shampoo rolled over in her bed, still half asleep and motioned towards the wall. “We put bandana boy in other room with doctor.”

“I see. I’ll back in a minute.”

“Ranma, my love!” said a crazed gymnast as she came flying off the roof, through Ranma and on the floor. Every now and again she’d twitch.

Nodoka rubbed the sleep from her dirty face and after seeing the event said, “That was quite the trick. Is it an illusion?”

Ranma started walking through the door and turned back with a smile. “No, not really. Anyways, you might want to find some hot water so you can ‘talk’ to pops.” Ranma gently motioned his hand and let off a wave that touched Genma and brought him back to his senses.

Nodoka caught on immediately. “Ranma!?” He didn’t say anything, but just kept moving as the panda looked around his surroundings confused and then at his wife. A look of happiness quickly turned to a look of terror, as he came to the conclusion that he had been sent to hell.

“GROFF!!!”


Ranma walked through the next-door over from the guest room and found a small group of people huddled around a bed. He came up to them stealthily and leaned in close to Akane’s ear. “So how is he?”

“AHH!” Akane turned around quickly and almost gave him a smack. “Don’t do that! Ugh! Go away! I can’t believe you did this to him. The doctor said he might not be able to walk for a month!”

Ranma shrugged his shoulders and gave her a calm look. “Yeah, well I came to fix that.” ‘Still doing the ‘me’ act kid.’

Ukyo came over and tried to stare him down. “If you could have fixed it then why didn’t you do it last night?”

“It was part of training.” ‘You’re really pushing it and that voice is way off.’

Ukyo made a grab for his arm and said, “Well hurry up and-“ but her hand passed through him. “What the heck?”

Ranma felt a mental kick in the ass as Kyva pushed him. ‘Just come clean already and stop being such a wuss about it.’ Ranma twitched inwardly and came in close to Ryouga. “Hey man how you feeling?”

Ryouga looked at him a bit blankly. “Sore…”

Ranma gave him a soft smile and placed his hand over Ryouga’s leg. “Sorry… But it was for a reason, now hold still this is going to hurt for a second.”

A quick shot of pain surged through his body, but a moment later, after the flash was gone, he was feeling great. Ryouga sat up and started moving his leg around while Ranma sat down without creasing the bed. He leaned forward and crossed all his fingers in front of his face. “Guys… I’m really happy you came…”

Ryouga and Akane leaned in close and Ryouga was the first to ask. “Ranma?”

Ranma just nodded slowly while looking forward. Akane came close and tried to hug him, but when she fell through him and onto Ryouga she panicked. “What wrong!?”

All he could do was look at her to sooth her. “Don’t worry Akane. I’m just having an out of body experience right now. I’m still alive; I just left him to talk with Herb. Look guys I’ve got some explaining to do and some decision making to take care of. Can you guys hear me out?” Every one nodded. “Ok, lets go into the next room with every body else…” ‘Don’t feel so down kid. They either will or they won’t, but just so you know, they more then likely will.’ Ranma shook his head as he walked on. ‘As usual, that’s what I’m afraid of. Hey, I’m going to need my body here in a second.’