Control

“dialogue”

‘thoughts’

I don’t own Rurouni Kenshin and I make no money off this.

Control
Chapter 22

Kaoru dropped the baby in Miyori’s arms and bolted from the room. Miyori watched her go with a heavy heart. Kenshin started to speak, but just shut his mouth and hung his head. Yahiko stepped into the room.

“Why’d busu take off like that? Everything’s okay with the baby isn’t it?” he asked, concern etched in his eyes.

“Hai, the baby’s fine,” Hiko said.

“Weird,” said Yahiko. “Can I see the baby?”

Miyori nodded and Hiko moved so the boy could sit next to her.

Yahiko looked at the tiny bundle.

“She’s kinda ugly,” he said.

Miyori looked at him and smiled.

“She’s a bit wrinkly at the moment. Give her a day or two and she’ll look better. I remember thinking the same thing when I saw my younger siblings for the first time,” Miyori said, smiling.

The baby shifted and the linen dropped down from her head. Yahiko’s eyes widened and he shot a look to Kenshin.

“She has red hair…,” the boy samurai said. “Kenshin, you…how could you! No wonder busu ran. Why didn’t you tell us?” Yahiko was shouting now.

Kenshin closed his eyes.

“Yahiko, I’m sorry,” he began.

“Shut up, I don’t want to hear it! How could you do that to Kaoru, to us?” Yahiko yelled, getting up and running from the room.

Kenshin sunk in on himself. He put his head in his hands. Sitting quietly for a few moments, he collected himself and looked at Miyori.

“Miss Miyori, as soon as you can walk, we should leave this place. We can stay at an inn and tomorrow, we’ll make our way to a new place. I don’t believe Tokyo is a good area for us to stay in,” he said.

Miyori’s eyes widened at Kenshin’s words.

“Kenshin, no! I told you, I’m not in love with you. I watched my parents, thrown together by an arranged marriage and their unhappiness. I won’t put my daughter through that…I won’t!” she said, her voice rising.

“I’m sorry Miss Miyori, I am, but I am responsible for you and her,” Kenshin said, reaching out and stroking his daughter’s tiny hand. “I want to make sure that she has all she needs.”

“What about what I need?” Miyori asked. “I don’t love you Kenshin and I won’t spend my life tied to someone I don’t feel that way about. Besides Kenshin, your heart belongs to another. Please go to her. She needs you far more than I do.”

“I can’t,” Kenshin said.

Hiko, who’d remained silent throughout, spoke up.

“You baka! Anyone can see that she holds your heart and soul. You’ll never be happy without her and she’ll never be happy without you. Miyori is telling you the truth. Stop being so self-righteous and go!”

“Master,” Kenshin began.

“GO!” Hiko yelled.

Kenshin’s eyes widened.

“Yes Master,” he said, springing to his feet and running from the room.

Hiko shook his head.

“He’s hopeless,” he said.

“There may be hope for him yet,” Miyori said, looking in the direction Kenshin had gone.

Hiko snorted.

&&&&&&

It wasn’t difficult for Kenshin to track Kaoru. Drawing upon his skills as a hitokiri and the training he’d received he followed her through the woods to a secluded glade. The sight that met his eyes, broke his heart. Kaoru was draped over a boulder, crying her eyes out. Kenshin stopped a few feet away and whispered her name.

Kaoru sensed she was no longer alone. Raising her head, she saw the one man who’d caused her world to spin out of control. Tensing, she prepared to flee.

“Kaoru, please…wait,” Kenshin begged.

Kaoru stood still.

Kenshin bowed and touched his face to the cool grass.

“I know I am not worthy to stand in your presence after what I’ve done. I know I should have told you, but I was so afraid that I’d lose you. For 10 years, I’ve managed to keep everyone at a distance, never getting too close. And then I came to Tokyo and with your simple words and kind actions, you entered my heart. Every time you were put in danger on account of me, I died a little inside. To know that I could lose you, it scared me like nothing else. You had become my heart,” Kenshin said, never looking up.

“Why? Why didn’t you tell me?” Kaoru choked out.

Kenshin clenched his eyes shut.

“At first, I was so ashamed. The first time with Miss Miyori, I was drugged and took her against her will,” Kenshin said.

Kaoru gasped.

“I felt so terrible for she was a virgin and I’d taken her innocence in the most deplorable way. When I was shot again with the drugged dart, I begged her to hit me with a stone on the head. Her gentle nature prevented her from doing so and I did not want to hurt her like that again. The only solution was to…to try to make it better for her. Each time, each time I was drugged, I felt more shame and I hated myself for betraying you, for giving up our love. When I was rescued, I couldn’t say anything. I’m a rapist Kaoru. There’s nothing lower,” Kenshin said.

“You didn’t do it willingly,” Kaoru said.

“No, I didn’t. But that doesn’t change the fact that I did do it. When I first suspected that Miss Miyori may have been pregnant, I feared the repercussions. I don’t love her, but I owe her a debt that must be paid. When it was confirmed, my world felt like it was ending. And at that time, you came to me and proclaimed your love. The one thing in this world I wanted more than any other, you were offering me. I wasn’t worthy of it. I was torn between the one thing I wanted more than anything else and the one thing in this world I owe. And being the type of person you were, I knew you’d encourage me to take responsibility for Miss Miyori,” Kenshin said.

“I was the one thing you wanted more than any other?” Kaoru asked, her heart beating frantically.

“You still are,” Kenshin said.

Kaoru’s tears started again.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Surely there must have been some way…,” Kaoru said.

“I’ve racked my brain day and night trying to think of a way to settle my debt to Miss Miyori and keep you by my side. Nothing I’ve thought of gives you the honor you deserve. You don’t deserve to be tied to me, not after what I’ve done,” Kenshin said, tears forming in his eyes.

“I don’t care!” Karou yelled, rushing to him and hugging him tightly. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted. When I’m with you, I feel at peace. I’m not alone and I’m loved.”

“Kami, Kaoru…I love you. You are loved. I just…I don’t know what to do,” Kenshin cried, pulling her tight.

Kaoru took his head in her hands and pushed his hair back from his face.

“We’ll figure it out. Together, Kenshin. There’s got to be a solution, there just has to be,” Kaoru said.

“Kaoru,” Kenshin said, before pulling her head down for a chaste kiss. “You are my heart and my soul. I can’t live without you. I don’t know how we’re going to fix this, but I know I can’t leave you.”

Kaoru smiled.

“You won’t leave me, we’ll come up with something,” she said. “Kenshin, we should return to the dojo. I…I should apologize to Miyori for my behavior.”

“You owe no one an apology. It’s us who should apologize to you,” Kenshin said.

“Miyori did not do anything wrong. She’s as much a victim in this as anyone. I will be honest though Kenshin, my trust in you has been shaken. I don’t know how long it will take to rebuild it. You’ve hurt me Kenshin,” Kaoru said.

“I promise I’ll spend my entire life making it up to you if that’s what it takes,” Kenshin said, kissing her again.

Kaoru clung to him for a few moments.

“We should return,” she said.

“Hai,” Kenshin said, catching Kaoru’s hand in his.

Together they walked back through the forest to the dojo. Entering the yard, Kenshin froze.

“Miss Kaoru, stay here. There are strange presences about,” he said, his hand coming to rest on the sakabatou.

“Kenshin, what do you mean?” Kaoru said.

“Someone is here,” Kenshin said, taking a few steps forward. A squeak from Kaoru caught his attention. Spinning around, his eyes widened as he saw a man holding a knife to Kaoru’s throat.

“Kaoru!” Kenshin called, taking a step toward her.

“Ah. Ah. Ah, Battousai,” called out a familiar voice. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Kenshin turned toward the speaker. His eyes narrowed.

“Kido! What are you doing here? Your plans are ruined. Lord Yamagata lives and knows of your treachery. There’s nothing you can accomplish by doing this!” Kenshin said, venom dripping from every word.

“My plans are ruined? I think not,” Kido said, smirking. Snapping his fingers, he watched Kenshin’s reaction as the shoji near the porch opened to reveal Miyori, their daughter clutched in her arms, held with a knife at her throat.

“It was a calculated gamble that the child would be enough to control you. Obviously I chose wrong. Your feelings for the Kamiya girl are apparent. I should have used her from the beginning. Either way, you Battousai have a choice to make,” Kido said grinning. “Which one is more important to you? The Kamiya girl or Miyori and your child. You can’t save both.”

Kenshin scanned the yard for any sign of his Master. There was none.

“Battousai, I grow tired of waiting. Choose, or I will force your hand,” Kido said.

Kenshin measured the distance between the two women and himself. There was no way he could make it to both in time.

Kido snorted.

“Enough of this. Satsuki, Taka…now,” Kido said.

Kenshin watched as two men stepped alongside Kaoru and Miyori. Each raised a dagger and threw toward the opposite woman. Time slowed to a crawl as Kenshin’s eyes widened. Glancing toward Miyori, he saw acceptance. He moved.